


The Marauders and the Sorcerer's Stone

by teenagetradgedy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-09-27 00:26:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 411,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9940973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenagetradgedy/pseuds/teenagetradgedy
Summary: When Dumbledore drops a book on the floor, the proper thing to do is return it. But what if the person on the book looks vaguely familiar?James, Sirius, Remus and Lily read the first of the Harry Potters books in a hilarious twist of fate.(Originally posted on fanfiction.net)





	1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, I do not own these characters, only the comments they make on this story. A lot of this story will contain the actual first book of the HArry Potter** **series. The parts in bold in the text of the story belongs exclusively to J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs were of the few left at Hogwarts during the Christmas vacation, one of their own absent on holiday. Along with them, were a few Ravenclaws, a handful of Hufflepuffs, absolutely no Slytherins, much to their delight, and only one other Gryffindor.

It’s not difficult to assume which other Gryffindor had the misfortune of spending the vacation with nobody but the Marauders as company in Gryffindor Tower. She usually found herself in situations regarding the Marauders, situations she did not particularly cherish.

Or so everyone thought.

Mr. Prongs was especially delighted at the prospect of having to spend the _entire_ Christmas vacation in close proximity with Lily Evans. The other two, delighted as well, were rather put out at the fact that Mr. Prongs was so desperately in love with Lily Evans, and she was to be with them the entire vacation, mercilessly rejecting the poor boy.

This is not a classic ‘boy meets girl’ story, it’s not even the classic tale of the legendary couple. It is, however, the tale of a twist, which will ultimately change _everything._

* * *

James Potter strutted down the corridor, hands in pockets, chin held high, pronounced smirk displayed on his face, but, nobody could possibly know what was going on underneath that demeanor. Inside, James was in pain; Lily Evans whom he had sworn to himself he was going to marry back when he was 11, had just rejected him, once again. James was now 16, and she was all he wanted.

“Oi!” he turned around quickly, to see his best mate, Sirius Black, sprinting towards him, hair flying around and a grin on his face, “Found you!” he said happily, throwing his arm around James’s shoulder.

“I wasn’t hiding,” James pointed out, as they continued to walk down the corridor, heading to the kitchens, “And you have the map,” he continued, causing his best mate to snort.

“Whatever mate, I still found you,” Sirius said, and James chuckled, “Sorry about Evans, mate, she’ll come around.”

“When?” James asked desperately, looking at his friend, who bit his lip.

“Wouldn’t know mate. You can’t predict what a girls going to do,” he said wisely, and James snorted, loudly. They reached the painting of the fruit bowl, and Sirius reached forwards slowly to tickle the pear, when the door opened, causing them to yell out, revealing none other than their Headmaster.

“Oh, hello!” Professor Dumbledore said happily, eyes twinkling happily behind his half moon spectacles.

“Hello sir, fancy seeing you here,” James said smoothly, while Sirius gaped, open-mouthed, at their headmaster. Admittedly, it was a rather odd sight. It wasn’t everyday one saw their bearded, bespectacled, tall, stereotypically wizardly headmaster emerging from the kitchens with his arms full of books and chocolate pudding.

"Likewise, Mr. Potter,” Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling, “And yourself Mr. Black. I see you’re on your way for a snack. I’ve always believed that snacks help the brain function,” Dumbledore mused, not failing to notice the boys exchange amused glances, “Of course, I am assuming you _are_ doing your holiday homework,” Dumbledore winked, before swiftly walking around them, “Toodle-doo,” he said cheerfully.

“He’s off his rocker,” Sirius chuckled happily, and James grinned. He took a step forward and felt his foot land on something that was not the floor. He looked down to see a book.

“Oh! Sir!” James yelled after Dumbledore, “Professor, you dropped a book!”

Either Dumbledore had not heard, or was choosing not to; the Professor continued to walk merrily down the corridor, humming tunelessly, a slight twinkle in his eye.

“Er, Prongs,” James turned to see Sirius holding the book in his hands, looking down at it, “I’m not sure you want to return this,” he said, and looked up at his best mate

“Why?” James asked curiously, walking over to look at the book. Sirius watched as his best friends eyebrows shot up, “‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’,” James said.

“You related to a Harry, mate?” Sirius asked, and James shook his head, “Well, I think you are, this bloke looks just like you!” he said, pointing to the picture of the boy on the cover. The only differences between James and the boy were that the boy had green eyes and a scar on his forehead, and was significantly smaller.

“He does,” James mused, looking down at the boy, “Let’s go-“

“Ask Moony?” Sirius said, “My thoughts exactly, come on.”

So the boys departed, all thoughts of food forgotten.

* * *

“WHAT?” Remus shrieked, looking down at the book in his friend’s hand, “You took _Dumbledore’s_ book? How stupid are you? We could get expelled for this!”

“Moony, I think you’re being over dramatic,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. They had walked into the Common Room to see Remus on the comfortable couches in front of the fire, and Lily by the window, doing some of their holiday homework. At Remus’s outburst, Lily’s head snapped up.

“You stole a book from Dumbledore?” she asked bluntly, looking at Sirius.

“We didn’t steal it, par ce,” Sirius said, throwing himself on Lily’s favourite armchair, “He was exiting the kitchen and it slipped from his arms”

“You should have returned it,” she said, resolutely not looking at James.

“We tried!” Sirius said defensively, “Prongs here yelled after him but he continued walking”

“He’s old,” Lily said, and James grinned

“So you’re suggesting he’s going deaf?”

“Oh bugger off,” she muttered, going back to her work. James’s grin slipped a little.

“Anyway,” Sirius said, trying to break the obvious tension in the room, “Once we looked at it, we decided we simply couldn’t return it,” he said, and Remus glared at him, “Look at it,” he said, throwing the book at Remus, who caught it skillfully.

“Harry Potter? Who’s Harry Potter?” he asked, and James shrugged

“We were hoping you would know. That bloke looks exactly like me, with a few differences,” he said, and Remus nodded

“Have you ever heard of any famous Potter’s?” Sirius asked, and Remus shook his head, “Oi Evans!”

“No, I haven’t,” she sighed, slamming her textbook shut, “Show me the book,” she said, holding her hand out.

“Isn’t this against the rules?” Sirius asked, causing Remus and James to laugh. Lily chose to ignore him, and looked down at the boy on the cover.

“He does look shockingly like you,” she said, looking down at the boy, “Except for the scar and the eyes,” she said. They all jumped as Sirius wolf-whistled.

“You pay attention to Prongs’s eyes?” he asked delightedly, and Lily rolled her eyes, her cheeks tingeing pink.

“No,” she said, embarrassed, “It’s just pretty obvious,” she shrugged, “And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a scar on his face,” she added, “Because I’ve never given him one.”

They all sat in silence for a second, before promptly bursting into fits of laughter. James sunk to the floor, while Remus leaned back, Sirius clutched his stomach, and Lily sat down on the sofa, laughing.

“Sorry,” she chuckled, wiping her eyes

“No! That was brilliant!” Remus laughed, and Lily grinned.

“You’re not so bad Evans. I think we can share our special book with you,” Sirius grinned, and Lily smiled. She met James’s eyes and smiled slightly, causing James to grin happily.

“Well, aren’t you going to read it?” she asked, and they looked at her incredulously, “Honestly, I’m going to read it,” she said, and Remus choked

“What?”

“I’m curious!” she said defensively, opening the book to the first page.

“So are we!” James said, “That’s mini-me on the cover!”

“Mini you?” Lily said skeptically, and James nodded.

“Just read it out loud,” Sirius said, “Like story time,”

“Fine,” Lily sighed, and looked around, “ _I_ have to read it out loud?” she said, and the three boys grinned.

“I’ll do it,” Remus said, holding his hand out. Lily smiled at him happily and handed over the book.

**“Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived-”**

“Oooooooh, mysterious,” Sirius said dramatically, and they threw him dirty looks, “Sorry! I’ll be quiet.”

“Start again Remus,” Lily said, while James stuck his tongue out at Sirius

**“Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived”**

* * *

**Hey guys! So that’s the first chapter. REVEW PLEASE, because then I’m bound to update faster.**

 


	2. The Boy Who Lived

**Hey guys! I’m going to do a chapter of the book for every chapter, so if it all goes according to plan there should be 18 chapters, MAYBE 19 if I want to add a sentimental chapter at the end or a “what happened after this” chapter. Anyways, ENJOY. And review (:**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters or the idea really, but I do kind of own the storyline of what happens with the Marauders and Lily during the reading of the first book**

* * *

**“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”**

“Can I say something?” Sirius asked, now lying on his stomach on the one-seater armchair. How he was doing that, nobody would ever know.

“You are saying something,” Lily said, and Sirius glared at her while Remus and James covered up chuckles.

“Well, doesn’t the fact that they _say_ they’re normal make them abnormal?” he asked, and they all laughed.

“I’d say it makes it sound as if they have something to hide,” James said

“Or-“

“Honestly!” Lily huffed, cutting Remus off, “We’ve read the _first_ sentence of the book and you lot are already trying to figure out what happens,” she said, an the boys grinned at each other

“Sorry,” Remus said, “I’ll continue.”

**“They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense”**

“I don’t like them. They seem boring,” Sirius said irritably, rolling onto his back, staring at the ceiling. James rolled his eyes, and gave Lily, who was looking at him for the first time that he could recall, an apologetic look, to which she giggled.

“Oi!” Remus said irritably, and they all turned to him, attentive looks on their faces.

**“Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache.”**

Remus was cut off as Lily gasped, and clapped a hand over her mouth, “What?” he asked, and Lily shook her head, eyes wide in shock

“That’s-that’s Tuney’s boyfriend,” she said, and they frowned at her

“Who-“

“No! Continue,” she said urgently, and James nodded at Remus, who sighed, but continued anyways

**“Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbours.”**

“Oh sweet Merlin, that’s my sister! That’s Tuney!” Lily squeaked, jumping up onto her feet, staring at the book in horror.

“What is your sister doing in a book about one of James’s relatives?” Sirius asked curiously, and Lily shook her head quickly

“I have no idea!” she squeaked, “This must be in the future!” she said in amazement.

“Why would you say that?” Remus asked curiously

“Obviously, because they’re only dating now,” James said, and Lily nodded, frowning slightly

“What’re you thinking?” Remus asked, and Lily bit her lip, eyes flickering to James.

“I don’t think I’m right,” she said slowly, looking at James, who was becoming very flustered now, “Keep going.”

**“The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere**

**The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn’t think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters.”**

“WHAT?” James yelled, leaning back, affronted. Lily looked shocked.

“How does my sister’s family know yours?” she asked, looking at James, who shook his head

“I could hardly call it a family. It’s two whales and a blonde,” Sirius said. Remus laughed, but the other two chose to ignore him, staring at each other.

“You’re the one who had an idea,” he said, and Lily nodded seriously

“Keep reading!” Lily squeaked

“NOW this is getting interesting,” Sirius said, grinning devilishly, placing his arms behind his head.

**“Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley’s sister,”**

“WHAT?” Lily bellowed, falling off the sofa, while the three boys looked at her in shock.

“You married Prongs?” Sirius laughed, and clapped the shocked James on the back, “Congrats mate! Looks like she _did_ come around.”

“I-I don’t understand,” Lily said, “That cant be right!” she squeaked, grabbing the book from Remus, as if hoping Remus hadn’t made it up.

“Well Lily, it’s pretty simple, you and Prongs fell in love and got married,” Sirius said, causing both Lily and James to flush maroon, “Don’t you know the song? ‘First comes the love, then comes the marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage’,” he recited, and his eyes widened, “MOONY! Did they have kids?” he asked excitedly, winking slyly at James, who was looking at Lily with a smug smirk on his face.

“Let me see,” Remus smirked, snatching the book from Lily

**“but they hadn’t met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn’t have a sister,”**

“What?” James asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Nothings changed much apparently,” she mumbled. The boys looked at her but she shook her head, “I don’t want to talk about it, keep reading”

**“because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be.”**

“GOOD FOR NOTHING MY ARSE!” Sirius yelled angrily, while Remus glared at the book, nodding in agreement.

“Honestly, calm down,” James grumbled, “I don’t want _them_ liking me anyway,” he said, and smiled embarrassedly at Lily, who flushed and hid her face.

**“The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him.”**

“YES!” Sirius laughed, punching the air, “Congratulations mate! You scored!” James laughed, and winked at Lily, who flushed an attractive shade of purple. Sirius laughed happily and picked her up, swinging her around. By the time he had put her back down, Lily was laughing as well.

“You cant fight it anymore Lily,” Remus chuckled, “Turns out you’re going to be married to him anyway,” he shrugged, and Lily groaned, as the three boys grinned in satisfaction.

**“This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn’t want Dudley mixing with a child like that.”**

“A child like _what_? He’s probably a right sight better than that lump of fat. You know what, I don’t want _my_ son mixing with _Dudley_ anyway,” Lily said irritably, crossing her arms, and the boys exchanged amused glances, “Oh shut up”

“I agree though, _our_ son doesn’t need him anyway,” James winked, and Lily looked at him for a second, still slightly pink, before nodding, bringing a large grin to James’s face. Remus cleared his throat, amused, and continued the story.

**“When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country.”**

“Sounds like something our folk are doing,” Lily mused, sliding onto the floor and leaning against the sofa, looking into the fire

“But they’re not allowed to do anything in front of muggles, right?” James asked, and Lily frowned, cocking her head to the side.

**“Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work,”**

“Wait, what? His most _boring_?” Sirius gasped, clearly offended by Mr. Dursley’s lack of fun.

“Sounds about right,” Lily snorted, and the three boys chuckled

**“and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair.**

**None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window.”**

The four of them exchanged confused glances. An owl? In a muggle suburb? _What was going on?_

**“At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley good-bye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls.**

**“Little tyke,” chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four’s drive.”**

“Merlin what a menace,” Remus muttered

“Honestly, what a brat,” Sirius laughed, “and his parents _tolerate_ him?”

“Pathetic,” James muttered. Lily just rolled her eyes at the three of them.

**“It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar- a cat reading a map.”**

“ITS MCGONAGALL!” Sirius screeched, causing the other three to jump

“What is she doing there?” Lily asked, massaging her ears.

“I have no idea,” Remus muttered, “This is _really_ strange.”

**“For a second, Mr. Dursley didn’t realize what he had seen- then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn’t a map in sight.”**

“Maybe he’s going crazy?” James suggested weakly, but the other three shot him skeptical glances, “Fine! I know it’s McGonagall,” he mumbled, and Lily grinned.

**“What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back.”**

“Yep, it’s definitely McGonagall,” Sirius declared, leaning backwards

“How do you know that?” Lily asked, more in a teasing manner than a suggestion that he was wrong.

“Because! Only she could stare a fat whale in the face and not crack a smile.”

“Oh shut up,” Remus mumbled, trying hard not to laugh as Lily and James did.

“ **As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive - no, looking at the sign; cats couldn't read maps or signs. Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.”**

“Remind me to hug McGonagall for confusing him in advance,” James said, and Lily laughed as Remus and Sirius snickered.

**“But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks.”**

“Pause,” Sirius said, holding up his hand, and Remus let out an exasperated sigh, “Lily, what’s so strange about cloaks?”

“Er…continue,” Lily said, looking at Remus, who grinned as Sirius adopted a dumbstruck expression

**“Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes -- the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdo’s standing quite close by.”**

“ _Why_ are they weirdo’s?” James asked curiously, but Lily gestured for Remus to continue, knowing the boys wouldn’t take the knowledge that cloaks were strange lightly

“ **They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him!”**

“No, wait, stop,” Remus said, putting the book down on his lap, “What is so strange about wearing cloaks?”

“Well! Muggles don’t wear them! And admittedly, they are rather strange,” Lily added quietly, and all boys threw her shocked looks, “They are! I mean, what is wrong with wearing pants? _Why_ wear cloaks and robes?” she asked, and the boys looked at each other, lacking an answer.

**“But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt -- these people were obviously collecting for something... yes, that would be it. The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills.**

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor.”**

“But how does he day dream?” Sirius asked, aghast

**“If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning. He didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open- mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead.”**

“I’m so confused!” James whined, lying down on his back, “The magical community usually hides this from Muggles! Why isn’t the ministry doing anything?” he asked, sitting up and looking desperately at his friends

“When _does_ the Ministry do anything?” Lily countered, and James snorted.

“Touché, but I’m still curious!”

“Join the club, mate,” Sirius said, watching Remus intently.

**“Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime. Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more. He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery.”**

“Because he’s fat,” Sirius said happily, and the other three snorted.

“He doesn’t seem very pleasant,” said Remus, “He was in a good mood because he _yelled_ at everyone?”

“Sounds like McGonagall,” James cut in, and Sirius let out a bark of laughter

“Maybe she’s there to congratulate him on a job well done,” he said, and James grinned as Remus rolled his eyes. The boys quietened down as Lily gave them pointed looks, and turned back to Remus expectantly.

**“He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy. This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying.**

**"The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard yes, their son, Harry" Mr. Dursley stopped dead. Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.”**

“Why is he scared?” Lily asked quietly, looking at the book with wide eyes.

“I don’t know, maybe because people would find out you guys were connected?” Remus suggested, and Lily bit her lip

“You thought he cared, didn’t you?” James asked gently, and Lily sighed

“Cant blame a girl for dreaming,” she smiled, and Sirius grinned

“That’s the spirit! So, you named your son Harry,” he winked, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Why are they talking about us in the first place?” James asked, and they all frowned.

“That’s a _really_ good question. What did we do?” Lily asked worriedly, looking at Remus, who, noticing his cue, turned back to the book.

**“He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone, and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his mustache, thinking...”**

“HE STROKES HIS MUSTACHE WHEN HE THINKS?” Sirius bellowed, howling with laughter, “That’s just too good”

“Sirius, shut up,” Lily advised, and the boys snickered as Sirius looked down, ashamedly.

**“no, he was being stupid.”**

“What else is new?”

“Sirius!” Lily laughed, whacking his arm

**“Potter wasn't such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew was called Harry. He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold.”**

“Ew,” Lily said, scrunching her nose

“You _should_ name your son Harvey!” Remus laughed

“Agreed!” Sirius said happily, as James rolled his eyes

**“There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley; she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her -- if he'd had a sister like that... but all the same, those people in cloaks...”**

“How _dare_ he think that!” James said angrily, and Lily looked at him curiously.

**“He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door.**

**"Sorry," he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak. He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passersby stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!" And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off.”**

There was silence in the common room until

“HES GONE!” Sirius yelled happily, dancing around. He grabbed Lily’s hand and began to waltz her around the room. Lily didn’t mind though, as she was just as thrilled

“I can’t believe it! He’s actually going to be _gone_?” Remus said in wonder, looking down at the book as if it had just proposed to him. James stood up and joined Sirius and Lily in a three-way waltz, which ultimately just became the three of them spinning around in a circle, hugging each other, “Oi! Let me in on this!” Remus laughed, running towards his friends, the four of them spinning around happily.

“Wait!” Lily said, letting go of James and Sirius, whom she had been holding onto, “If he’s gone, what’s going on in the story?” she asked curiously. The boys all looked at each other before rushing over to the book.

**“Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination.”**

“ _How_ can someone _not_ approve of imagination?” James asked, aghast

“That’s it. He’s _definitely_ getting private lessons from McGonagall,” Sirius declared, still grinning from the knowledge of the death of Voldemort.

**“As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw -- and it didn't improve his mood -- was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes.”**

“See, it’s _definitely_ McGonagall,” Sirius said, yet again.

“Merlin, we know!” Remus said, exasperated

**“"Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly.”**

“Yeah, that’s not going to work,” James said, “Remember when we tried that in first year when she transformed for the first time?” he asked, grinning at Sirius, who barked a laugh.

**“The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look.”**

“Told you,” James said simply

“And that’s exactly what she did to us,” Sirius added wisely.

**“Was this normal cat behavior? Mr. Dursley wondered. Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.**

**Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Won't!").”**

“Brat,” Sirius commented, and Lily grinned

**“Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news: "And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern." The newscaster allowed himself a grin.”**

“Muggles!” James said, exasperated

“Honestly, it’s a wonder how they manage to survive,” Sirius said, and blew Lily, who was rolling her eyes, a kiss.

**“"Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?"**

**"Well, Ted," said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early -- it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight." Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain.**

**Owls flying by daylight. Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place.**

**And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters...”**

“Shooting stars?” Lily said, confused, looking at Remus, who wore the same thoughtful expression on his face

“Sparks?” He suggested, and Lily nodded seriously

“It would have to be,” she said, pulling her hair over her shoulder and playing with the ends, catching James’s attention.

“Well, why are people shooting sparks in the sky?” he asked stupidly

“Because Voldemorts _gone_ you dolt,” Sirius said, whacking James on the back of the head.

“But that’s no reason to break the statue of secrecy!” he said defensively

“He has a point,” Lily said, and James grinned triumphantly

“Oh get over yourself,” Sirius chuckled

“I want to know what happened to us!” Lily whined, and Remus grinned at her

“So you refer to yourself as a Potter now?” he said teasingly, and Lily glared at him, clearly not amused. James and Sirius, however, were extremely amused.

**“Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously. "Er -- Petunia, dear -- you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you." As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.”**

“I don’t understand why,” Sirius said, looking at Lily, who shook her head.

**“"No," she said sharply. "Why?"**

**"Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls... shooting stars... and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today..."**

**"So." snapped Mrs. Dursley.**

**"Well, I just thought... maybe... it was something to do with... you know... her crowd."”**

“Your crowd? _That’s_ how they refer to our world?” James asked, aghast.

“Yep,” Lily said simply, nodding

“Why does your sister hate you?” Remus asked bluntly, and Lily chuckled as James threw Remus a warning look

“Because I’m magical and she’s not,” she said, and they all frowned at her

“Then why does she hate our world?” Sirius asked

“Because she’s not in it,” Lily said simply, “Can we please continue?”

**“Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter."”**

“Bad idea, don’t do it,” Lily said, and James looked at her sympathetically. How could anyone hate their sister?

**“He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son -- he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he."**

**"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.**

**"What's his name again. Howard, isn't it."**

**"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."**

**"Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."”**

“Hey! I like the name Harry,” James said defensively

“I do too,” Lily said soothingly, and James nodded, clearly reassured that ‘Harry’ was not a bad name.

“Look at you two, bonding,” Sirius cooed, looking at the two with a faux dreamy expression

“Way to ruin the moment Padfoot,” Remus said bitterly

“ **He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed”**

“Oh! This is going to get interesting,” Sirius said suggestively, too slow to duck the pillow that Lily sent flying at his head.

**“While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there.**

**It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something.**

**Was he imagining things. Could all this have anything to do with the Potters. If it did... if it got out that they were related to a pair of - well, he didn't think he could bear it.”**

“See, that’s why he was scared,” Remus said sympathetically, and Lily shrugged

“Whatever. What’s McGonagall doing there anyway?” she asked, and Remus nodded knowingly, noticing that Lily wasn’t about to talk about anything regarding her sister, and turned back to the book.

**“The Dursleys got into bed. Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr.  Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters were involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind.... He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on -- he yawned and turned over -- it couldn't affect them....**

**How very wrong he was.”**

“Yes, we know,” Lily said in a slightly choked up voice. James sucked up his Gryffindor courage and shifted so he was sitting next to Lily, and put a comforting arm around her shoulder. He almost exploded with joy when she didn’t shake it off, “I’m sorry!” she choked, wiping her face, “It’s just, I already know they don’t like me. I just don’t like accepting it, you know?” she said, and James nodded, rubbing soothing circles on her shoulder with his thumb.

When Lily stopped crying, she looked at James, “Er, thanks,” she said awkwardly, and he grinned at her.

“Anytime.”

**“Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness. It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed on the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.”**

“She’s going to have a really sore bum the next day,” Sirius mused, and the other three turned to give him blank looks, “What?”

“Please express all thoughts about or related to McGonagall’s bum silently to yourself,” Lily said, causing James and Remus to snicker at Sirius’s wounded expression

“What would you do without the sound of my voice?” he asked dramatically

“Live peacefully,” Lily shot back cheekily

**“A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground.”**

“It’s a wizard! He apparated!” James said excitedly from where he was seated right next to Lily, pointing at the book.

“Very good James,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, and James winked at him.

**“The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.”**

“That’s really dangerous,” Remus said, “It sounds like McGonagall’s going to kill him!”

“Maybe later, I want to know what happens,” Lily said, and Remus grinned

“Who do you think it is?” Sirius asked curiously, and Lily frowned, “Let’s take bets!”

“My bet’s on Dumbledore,” James said, and Sirius sighed

“Mate that was my choice!”

“That’s because it’s a pretty obvious choice,” Lily pointed out, “I mean, who else would go wandering in Muggle neightbourhoods, and who else would McGonagall be waiting for?”

“I always knew there was something going on there,” James said cheekily, and Lily whacked his arm, causing him to laugh.

“ **Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice. This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.”**

“I told you,” James said cheekily, and Sirius snorted

“What does he get for winning the bet?” Remus asked, and Sirius stroked his chin thoughtfully

“Lily will marry him,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus howled with laughter

“Apparently that’s already been decided for me,” she said, nodding to the book

“And why change fate, right?” Remus teased

“What’s the point,” she laughed, and James’s eyes twinkled madly

**“Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome.”**

“I don’t welcome his boots even at Hogwarts,” James muttered

**“He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known."”**

“I love him!” Lily laughed, “He’s so strange”

“He is, isn’t he?” Remus mused

**He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter. He flicked it open, held it up in the air, and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop.”**

“Whoa,” Sirius said, sitting up straight, “What is it, and where can I get one?”

“I don’t think you can,” Lily said, “I have never heard of something like that, maybe it’s an original?” she suggested, looking at Remus, who nodded

“I have to agree with Lily, I’ve never heard of anything like that”

“So, I have a question,” James said, and they all turned to him, “Why are McGonagall and Dumbledore on Lily’s sisters street? And why are we so tied in with the story?” he asked, and they all looked towards Remus for the answer.

**“He clicked it again -- the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer, until the only lights left on the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement.**

**Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it.**

**"Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall."”**

“Sirius don’t you dare,” Lily said, as Sirius opened his mouth to gloat.

“But I knew it!”

“So did the rest of us, mate,” James chuckled.

**“He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled.**

**"How did you know it was me." she asked.**

**"My dear Professor, I 've never seen a cat sit so stiffly."**

**"You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall. ”**

“I agree,” Sirius said solemnly, and Remus snickered as Lily shot Sirius an irritated look.

**“"All day? When you could have been celebrating. I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here." Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.**

**"Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right," she said impatiently, "You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no - even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news." She jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room window. "I heard it. Flocks of owls... shooting stars.... Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent - I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense."”**

“I’ve always loved him,” James grinned, “He’s always wearing a little top hat and he’s always bouncing around,” he said.

“Would you like a moment to ponder Mr. Diggle, James?” Remus asked, watching his best friend in amusement

“Yes, if you don’t mind,” James said, pretended to be offended

**“"You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. "We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years."**

**"I know that," said Professor McGonagall irritably. "But that's no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors." She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on. "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore."”**

“See! She agrees that the magical world are being stupid with this!” James said defensively

“Yes James, we established that,” Lily said.

“You called me James!” James said happily, as Remus and Sirius stared at Lily in shock

“W-what?” she squeaked, “No! No I didn’t! Ah drat it.” She said, as the boys continued to give her skeptical looks.

“ **"It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore.”**

“YES!” James said happily, “If Dumbledore says he’s gone, then he’s gone.”

“This way Harry can grow up happily,” Lily smiled, and the boys looked at her in wonder, “Oh you know what, get over it,” she said, embarrassed, as they smirked at her.

“ **"We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop."**

**"A what?"**

**"A lemon drop. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of"**

**"No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops. "As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone -"**

**"My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name. All this 'You- Know-Who' nonsense - for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: Voldemort." Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice. "It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name. ””**

“Probably because he’s frightened of you,” Remus said, and the others laughed

**“"I know you haven 't, said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring. "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, Voldemort, was frightened of."**

**"You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have."**

**"Only because you're too -- well -- noble to use them."**

**"It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs."”**

Remus had to stop reading for a second because at this moment, the four of them were laughing so hard that they had begun to cry, and were no longer producing any sound.

“Oh Merlin,” Lily laughed, wiping her eyes.

“We have _the coolest_ Headmaster,” Sirius said. In the distance, a phoenix cry sounded, causing Sirius to flush.

**“Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said, "The owls are nothing next to the rumors that are flying around. You know what everyone's saying. About why he's disappeared. About what finally stopped him." It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold, hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now. It was plain that whatever "everyone" was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer.”**

“What? What are they saying?” Lily asked curiously, shifting so she was sitting next to Remus ont eh sofa, looking down at the book

“Oi! Let me read!” Remus squeaked, amused

“No! This is probably how we’re tied in!” she said, gesturing between her and James, who nodded in support

“We need to calm down everybody,” Sirius said, hodling his hands up, palms out, “Lily, move away from Remus so he can continue reading because _I_ want to know what happened.”

**“"What they're saying," she pressed on, "is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. He went to find the Potters.”**

They all froze. Remus looked at the book and they saw his eyes widen, “No!” he yelled, and Lily frowned

“What?”

“N-no!” he yelled again, tears streaming down his face. He threw the book down and ran up the stairs to the boys dormitory.

“What the-?” Sirius started, but stopped. He looked from Lily, to James, and back to the book.

“I-I’ll read it then,” Lily said, reaching over to grab the book with shaking hands, frightened of what was going to happen next.

**“The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are -- are -- that they're -- dead."”**

There was a smack as the book hit the floor, after falling out of Lily’s numb hands. She looked down at the book and then up at James, who had the same frozen expression of horror on his face. She looked at Sirius, who was green.

“N-no,” Sirius said, shaking his head, “That cant be right!” he said, choking on the lump in his throat, “You cant die! THAT’S WRONG!” he bellowed, and ran up the dormitory stairs after Remus, leaving Lily and James alone in the Common Room.

Lily felt tears stream down her face, quickly, and land in her lap. She was dead? James was dead? What about Harry? How had she died? _Why_ had she died so early? Harry was only, what, a year old, if the book was right? She looked down at James, who had his face hidden in his hands.

She carefully slid down onto the floor and grabbed his hands, pulling them away from his face. She looked at James, who looked up into her eyes slowly, his eyes full of tears. They looked at each other for a second, looking at each others tears.

A sob escaped Lily and James reacted quickly, pulling her onto his lap. Somewhere deep inside him, there was a cry of happiness, but it was too far down at the moment. Lily cried into his shoulder as he gently stroked her back, crying as well.

“You know,” he croaked, “Now that we know about this, we can stop it from happening,” he said, pushing Lily off his shoulder so he could look her in the eye. Her face we wet with tears, and there were still some tears escaping her eyes, but she nodded, wiping them away

“Y-you’re right,” she said in a shaky voice, “We’ll know what happened, and then we don’t have to die,” she said, and James nodded sadly, “No, you know what,” she said, now furious. James was alarmed by her sudden change in mood, “No. We are _not_ going to die. Voldemort is _not_ going to kill us. Understand?” she said, and James nodded, bewildered, “Now _get up,_ ” she instructed, and James scrambled to his feet, gently placing her on hers.

“Where are we going?” he asked, wiping his face

“Where are those stupid friends of yours?” she asked, and James smiled sympathetically. He knew Lily reacted like this when she was upset, he just hadn’t realized it was such a sudden change from tears to anger. Without waiting for an answer, Lily marched over to the stairs of the boys dormitories and stormed up them to the Marauders dormitories. James took a deep breath, before following after her, not forgetting to grab the book off the floor.

He got up the stairs to see Remus and Sirius sitting on his bed, their faces wet with tears, and Lily standing over them, arms crossed. She seemed to be lecturing them. James couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him, but covered it up with a cough.

“Honeslty you two. This is good that we found out before it happened!” Lily said earnestly. James guessed that she ahd no idea there were tears streaming donw her face, “This way we can make sure it _doesn’t_. I mean, obviously, everyone has to die someday, but it wont happen like this, now that we know,” she said, and James watched in wonder as his two best friends nodded, and wiped their faces. He had never been able to get them to calm down to this extent after crying. Of course, no-one was supposed to know that they had cried. Ever.

“Sorry for running off like that.” Remus said, wiping his face, “I was just-“

“No, I understand,” Lily said gently, sinking down onto the bed, facing the two of them, “We all cried.”

“What? We cried?” Sirius said, puffing out his chest, his shirt covered in tear drops, “Men don’t cry”

“Good think you lot aren’t men then,” Lily teased, and the three boys chuckled, “Now _where_ is that book?” she asked, turning to James, who held it out.

“You still want to read it?” Remus asked, looking at the book in disgust

“Yes,” she said, “I want to know _why_ I’m dead, and what happens to my son, and how I can make sure it doesn’t happen,” she said, crossing her legs, and Remus and Sirius nodded as James sunk onto the bed next to Lily, “I’ll read then,” she said, and looked down at the book

“ **Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped, "Lily and James... I can't believe it... I didn't want to believe it...  Oh, Albus..." Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder.**

**"I know... I know..." he said heavily.  Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on.”**

“Look at that, McGonagall cares,” Sirius said in wonder, and Lily rolled her eyes, wiping her face. Tears were still rolling down all their faces.

**"That's not all.”**

“What bloody more could there be?” James asked angrily, and Remus nodded in agreement

“” **They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry.”**

“WHAT?” Lily screeched, causing all boys to jump, “He tried to kill my baby! _Why?_ ” James looked at his best friends, bewildered, and then pat the seething Lily comfortingly on the shoulder.

“Just keep reading, we’ll find out,” he said gently, and to his surprise, Lily nodded.

“Wait,” Sirius said, sitting up, “He _tried_? So he _couldn’t?”_ They all looked at each other, bewildered. Lily turned back to the book quickly.

**“”But - he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke - and that's why he's gone,” Dumbledore nodded glumly, "It's - it's true," faltered Professor McGonagall, "After all he's done...all the people he's killed...he couldn't kill a little boy. It’s just astounding...of all the things to stop him...but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?"”**

“How _did_ he survive?” Remus asked curiously, and Lily skimmed down the page, “No! Read out loud!”

“ **"We can only guess," said Dumbledore, "We may never know." Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it.”**

“It doesn’t say!” Sirius said, exasperated, “How did your son survive?” he asked James, who shrugged

“I’m dead, remember?” he said, and then chuckled. Before long, James was laughing. Lily looked at him, bewildered, and then looked to his friends for some sanity, but was proven a fool, as she saw them laughing as well, clutching their stomachs.

“What am I marrying into?” she muttered, and then turned back to the book.

**“It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way."**

**"Yes," said Professor McGonagall, "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here, of all places."**

**"I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now."”**

“No! No! Give him to us!” Sirius said, gesturing between himself and Remus, who nodded vigorously, as if the book could hear him.

“Why would you give him to Petunia?” Lily cried, “She _hates_ him! You’re just setting him up for a miserable childhood!”

“Exactly! Give. Harry. To. Us.” Sirius instructed, glaring at the book, which, oh-so-shockingly, didn’t respond.

**“"You don't mean - you can't mean the people who live here." cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and pointing at number four, "Dumbledore - you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son - I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets. Harry Potter come and live here!"”**

“You tell him McGonagall!” Remus said, and hi-fived Sirius. James was looking intently at the book, more interested in what was going to happen to his son than his friends’ feeble arguments

**“"It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly. "His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter."**

**"A letter." repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall, "Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter? These people will never understand him! He'll be famous - a legend - I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future - there will be books written about Harry - every child in our world will know his name!"**

**"Exactly," said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses, "It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! You see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?"”**

“He has a point,” Lily sighed, looking up at Sirius and Remus, who huffed and crossed their arms angrily

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Sirius mumbled

“I don’t like it either,” James said, “But Dumbledore’s right”

“I hate paternal James,” Remus muttered to Sirius, who laughed, causing James to roll his eyes and Lily to giggle.

“ **Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes -- yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore," She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.”**

“He better not be,” Remus said, smiling. They had all recovered from the ‘Lily-and-James-have-been-brutally-murdered-by-Voldemort’ shock, and were pretty much back to normal now.

**“"Hagrid's bringing him."**

**"You think it -- wise -- to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?”**

**“I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.”**

“Yeah for Hagrid!” James said, and the other three grinned in agreement.

**“"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to - what was that?"**

**A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky - and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.”**

“OH MERLIN!” Sirius exclaimed in wonder, leaning forward, “I want one!”

“I know,” James said, rolling his eyes, as Remus snickered.

**“If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild - long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.”**

“That’s a pretty accurate description of Hagrid, actually,” Lily smiled

“He’s holding your baby Lily,” Sirius said, and Lily’s eyes widened, causing the boys to laugh

**“"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved, "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"**

**"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke, "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir."”**

“WHOOOOOOO!” Sirius yelled happily, jumping off the bed and dancing happily around the dormitory, “Did you hear that?” he asked excitedly, practically jumping onto James, “It’s _mine!_ ”

“I’m happy for you, mate,” James said, and pushed Sirius off him.

“Keep reading!” Sirius said happily

“I have a question,” Remus said, and they looked at him, “Where are we?” he asked, pointing between himself and Sirius, who frowned

“Good question,” Sirius said, and looked at the couple, who looked at him

“How am I supposed to know?” James asked, flustered, “Lily?”

“Er, I’ll keep reading?” she said feebly, and turned back tot eh book.

**“"No problems, were there?"**

**"No, sir - house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol."**

**Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.”**

Lily groaned.

“What’s wrong?” James asked, and Lily crossed her arms

“He has your hair, doesn’t he?” she asked irritably, and James grinned as Remus and Sirius howled with laughter

“And here, I thought you were upset about the cut,” Remus said, and Lily sighed

“At least he’s alive,” she mumbled, “I’m going to have to shave his head,” she said, causing them to laugh, before grabbing the book.

**“"Is that where-?" whispered Professor McGonagall.**

**"Yes," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."**

**"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"**

**"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.”**

“That’s great to know,” James said in a restrained voice, as the other three burst out laughing.

“We should ask him about it next time we see him,” Sirius said, and James snickered

**“”Well -- give him here, Hagrid -- we'd better get this over with." Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house.**

**"Could I -- could I say good-bye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.**

**"Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "you'll wake the Muggles!"**

**"S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it, "But I c-c-can't stand it -- Lily an' James dead -- an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles -"**

**"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two.**

**For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.”**

“That’s a really frightening thought,” Remus shuddered, and James nodded in agreement

“I like listening to you talk like Hagrid,” Sirius mused, looking at Lily, who rolled her eyes as the boys chuckled

“I cant believe they’re leaving him with Petunia,” she mumbled, and Remus nodded sympathetically, patting her knee gingerly.

**“"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."**

**"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back. G'night, Professor McGonagall -- Professor Dumbledore, sir." Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.”**

“That sounds _AMAZING_ ,” Sirius sighed dreamily, “And he’s giving it back to me! Bless him.”

Lily looked between Remus and James for some sort of explanation, but James only shook his head and rolled his eyes, causing her to grin.

**“"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her.”**

“In his chambers,” Sirius said naughtily, and Lily threw the book at his head, “Oi! Woman! That hurt!”

“It was _supposed_ to,” she said sardonically, before reaching over and grabbing the book

“Why throw it in the first place?” Sirius muttered

“Because it hit you,” she said simply, turning back tot eh book as James and Remus gave Sirius cheeky smiles

**“Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply. Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once, and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.**

**"Good luck, Harry," he murmured. He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone**

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up.**

**One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley... He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter -- the boy who lived!"** **”**

“And that’s the end of the first chapter,” Lily said, looking up at the boys, who nodded, taking it all in

“So, what have we learned?” Remus said, leaning against the headboard

“Lily and James get married and have a son named Harry,” Sirius said obediently

“We die, because Voldemort kills us, and he tries to kill Harry but it doesn’t work,” James said

“Harry’s off to live with Petunia, Vernon and Dudley, who pretty much hate him. Also the Dursleys hate anything abnormal,” Lily said

“Is that it?” Remus asked, and they all looked at each other

“I’d say that’s all that matters much at the moment, yeah,” Lily said, and they all nodded

“So should we keep reading, then?” James suggested. They nodded and James reached for the book, turning to the next page

**“Chapter Two: The Vanishing Glass”**

“Now _that_ sounds interesting,” Remus said, sitting up straighter. Just then, Sirius’s stomach made a loud growling noise.

“I think we should get food,” Lily laughed, as Sirius looked down at his stomach with a wounded expression.

“Lily, I could kiss you,” Sirius said, sliding off the bed, followed by the other three, “What time is it?” he asked

“It’s around 1:30,” Remus replied

“WE MISSED LUNCH?” Sirius gasped, “MERLIN! LETS GO! THIS IS THE APOCALYPS!” he yelled, grabbing Remus and sprinting fromt eh dorm.

“Hey Lily?” James said, nad Lily turned to him

“Yeah?”

“So, what are we?” he asked, and Lily grinned

“I’m going to go with friends,” she said, and he sighed dramatically

“But we’re going to be married!”

“Yes, and we start with friendship,” she said sternly, and James grinned

“So you’re saying we’ll be more,” he winked, and Lily flushed.

“We’ll see.”

“Yes, we will.”

* * *

**There you go! That’s the second chapter, and the first one with the book involved. The next chapter is, obviously, going to be the second chapter of the book, so stay tuned! It should be up tomorrow. I’m on summer vacation and I don’t start work for the next two weeks, so be prepared for speedy updates!**

**HAPPY FANFICCING (:**

**REVIEW PLEASE.**  

 


	3. The Vanishing Glass

**Hey there! Here’s the next chapter. If you have any suggestions, don’t be afraid to say them in a review or a personal message. I will be reading ALL of them. I’ve already been asked to continuously have L/J fluff during this story, so I will not disappoint (:**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I’m getting bored and depressed of doing this every time. Not mine.**

* * *

“Who’s reading?” Remus asked, as they reentered the Common Room, their pants and skirt considerably tighter.

“I will,” James said, reaching for the book, which they had left on the little table in front of the fire, but before he could touch it, it was gone

“I want to read,” Sirius said happily, falling down, once again, on Lily’s favourite armchair. Lily threw him a nasty look before sitting down at it’s base, so that she was leaning against it, Sirius’s legs dangling off the arm, “Oh hello,” he said, patting Lily on top of the head.

“Honestly, don’t _pet_ her,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, as a grinning James flopped down next to him on the sofa.

“Hem hem,” Sirius said, in a perfect impression of a seventh year they’d had when they were in their first year, “May I begin?”

“Yes, you may,” James said, leaning on the arm of the sofa, his long legs taking up the entire length of the sofa. Remus huffed and got up, sitting down on the other armchair, causing them all to laugh.

**“Chapter Two: The Vanishing Glass,”**

“Wonder what’s going to happen,” Sirius said curiously, and Lily sighed

“Why are _you_ reading?” she whined, reaching up for the book, “You’re the one who always interrupts,”

“Yes, and this way I can control when interruptions are made,” he said happily, but Lily wasn’t having it. She grabbed the book and shifted so she was leaning against the armchair Remus was sitting on instead, which was across from Sirius’s, “That’s so mean!”

“She had a valid point there, mate,” James said, and Sirius huffed, crossing his arms.

**“Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all. “**

“Shocker,” Remus muttered, causing Lily to grin

“So _he’s_ allowed to interrupt?” Sirius whined, pointing at Remus, “That’s not fair Lily!”

“Well, his comments are funny,” Lily said cheekily, and turned back to the book

**“The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls.”**

“So we’ve missed ten years of Harry’s life?” James said irritably, and Lily nodded

“Merlin, you’ve been dead for ten years,” Remus said

**“Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed.**

**Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets”**

“Accurate interpretation” Sirius laughed, and Lily grinned

“Now _there’s_ an interesting mental image,” she mused, and Sirius laughed

**“but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother.”**

“Where’s Harry?” James asked curiously, turning his head towards Lily, who shrugged.

“That’s revolting,” Sirius shuddered, “ _Why_ would anyone love that thing?” he asked irritably, and Lily laughed, “SEE! I’m funny too,” he said defiantly, sticking his chin out

“Okay, I’m sorry! Jeez,” Lily said shrilly, and James laughed.

“ **The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.”**

“Ah, okay, he’s still alive,” James said, satisfied, but there was a slight edge in his voice

“Mate, at least they don’t display embarrassing nude photos of him _just_ to irritate him,” Sirius pointed out

“I’d prefer that over absolutely nothing,” James sighed, and Lily nodded sympathetically

“ **Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.**

**"Up! Get up! Now!" Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again, "Up!" she screeched.”**

“Hey, at least they’ve given him decent housing arrangements!” Remus said, as if surprised that they had, which, in all truth, he was.

“I don’t think you’re right,” Lily said sadly

“Why such a pessimist darling?” Sirius said, and Lily threw him a scathing look, before responding

“I think we’ve spoken to soon. You don’t know her like I do,” she explained, “If Petunia doesn’t want something, but is forced to have it, she’ll have it in the worst way possible,” she said, and they frowned at her, “Oh you’ll see.”

**“Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before.”**

“THAT’S MY MOTORBIKE, KID!” Sirius said happily, pointing at the book

“We are aware,” Remus said, rubbing the side of his head

“Yes, but he’s not,” Sirius said defensively

“He can’t hear you,” James said, smirking, and Sirius huffed, crossing his arms

“Keep reading Lily,”

**“His aunt was back outside the door.**

**"Are you up yet?" she demanded.**

**"Nearly," said Harry.**

**"Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."”**

“They’re making him _cook_?” Lily almost screeched, causing all the boys to jump, “But he’s eleven! He’s just a baby!”

“It’s not _that_ bad, is it?” Sirius asked warily. After all, he’d never had to make a meal for himself.

“It is!” Lily insisted, “He could burn himself, or cut himself, or-“

“Let’s just see what happens,” James said, slightly pale.

**“Harry groaned.**

**"What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door.**

**"Nothing, nothing..." Dudley's birthday - how could he have forgotten?**

**Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them, put them on.”**

Lily gasped in horror, “A _spider?”_

“Keep reading!” James said urgently, sitting up.

**“Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.”**

“The WHAT?”

“He sleeps _under the stairs?”_ Sirius asked angrily

“In a _cupboard?_ ” James hissed, glaring at the book.

“She shoved him in a lousy cupboard?” Lily said angrily, staring at the book in disbelief, “How _dare_ she!”

“Lily, I hate your sister,” Remus said bluntly, and Lily huffed.

“I do too.”

**“When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents.”**

“Spoilt brat,” James muttered, still put out about the fact that his son had to sleep in a cupboard under the stairs

“You know what,” Sirius said, sitting up straight, “You two,” he said, pointing at James and Lily, “Are not allowed to die.”

“I’m not going to die,” Lily scoffed, “I am _not_ leaving my son to live like this,” she said, waving the book around irritably.

“Ditto,” James said, crossing his arms.

**“It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike.”**

“Second television? Really?” Lily said, rolling her eyes.

“What on _earth_ would that lump need a racing bike for?” Sirius asked, bewildered, and James guffawed

**“Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry, as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise”**

They burst out laughing, “I love your kid, mate,” Sirius chuckled.

**“- unless of course it involved punching somebody.”**

“It’s because he’s insecure with his figure,” Sirius said knowingly, and Remus snorted.

**“Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry,”**

“WHAT?”

“Sirius will you shut up please?” Lily sighed, exasperated, “Let me finish the sentence!”

“But he’s punching my son!” James said defiantly

“Well, you can’t punch someone if you can’t catch them,” Remus said, “And I highly doubt Dudley can chase after Harry,” he said wisely

“Why do you say that?” Lily asked curiously, looking up at Remus

“I’m not saying Harry’s fast,” he said, “I’m just saying Dudley’s fat.”

“Remus!” Sirius gasped, grinning widely as Lily and James laughed.

“Oh bugger off, keep reading Lils”

**“but he couldn't often catch him. Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast.”**

“Told you,” Remus said simply

**“Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age.”**

“It’s nothing to do with the closet mate,” Sirius said, “You’re just like your father”

“Oi!” James said, flushing darkly as Lily and Remus laughed

“What?” Sirius asked innocently, “You _have_ always been small and skinny for your age!” Sirius could say no more, however, as James had thrown himself on him.

“Who’s small and skinny now?” he said, as he and Sirius wrestled on the armchair, while Remus and Lily continued to laugh

“Children!” Remus said, clapping his hands, “We are in the presence of a lady,” he gestured to Lily, and James jumped off Sirius, predictably, “And I want to know what happens in the story.”

**“He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's, and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was.”**

“Fatty,” Sirius snorted

“They’re making him wear hand-me-downs?” Lily asked, hurt.

“That are four times too big for him,” James added bitterly. He felt so bad that his son had to go through this.

**“Harry had a thin face, knobby knees, black hair, and bright green eyes.”**

“It’s like James with Lily’s eyes,” Remus mused, and the two looked at each other awkwardly

“I can’t see that,” Sirius said, looking between James and Lily

“Yeah, because technically Harry doesn’t exist,” Remus said, rolling his eyes

“Yet,” Sirius winked at Lily, who flushed and looked down at the book.

**“He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose.”**

“OI!” James yelled, as if Dudley could hear him, “That’s it, when Petunia has her baby, I’m going to go over there and smack him.”

“James! You cant smack a baby!” Lily said half-heartedly, but the look on her face showed that she agreed with James.

“Poor kid,” said Sirius, cocking his head to the side, “He’s going to be blind like Prongs”

“I’m not _blind!_ ” James defended half-heartedly

“Remove your glasses,” Sirius said, and James bit his lip, before shaking his head.

**“The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning.”**

“Wicked,” Sirius said, eyes wide, “ _I_ want a lightning scar!”

James and Remus looked at each other blankly, before turning to Lily, choosing to ignore Sirius’s stupid comment

**“He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

**"In the car crash when your parents died," she had said.”**

“Car Crash!” Remus yelled, sitting up straighter

“A car crash? Kill Lily and James? BOLLOCKS!” Sirius yelled angrily

“Yeah, it _is_ bollocks,” Lily said, looking at Sirius, “It’s not _true_.”

“Yes, but Harry thinks it is,” James muttered, and Lily groaned.

**“"And don't ask questions." Don't ask questions - that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.”**

“How boring,” James sighed, lying backwards and swinging his legs over the back of the sofa, so his head was dangling off.

“Agreed mate,” Sirius said, running his hand through his hair.

**“Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the bacon, "Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting.”**

“That’s funny,” Remus laughed, pointing at the book, and Lily rolled her eyes

“See! He _is_ getting lessons from McGonagall!” Sirius gasped, and James snorted.

**“About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut. Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way - all over the place.”**

“I know mate, sorry about that,” James said, running his hand through his hair.

“We’ll shave it off for you,” Lily said sweetly to the book, and James threw her a death glare.

“Don’t touch the hair Lily, it’s dangerous,” Sirius said sarcastically, and Lily giggled.

**“Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel - Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.”**

“Yeah Harry!” Remus cheered, as Sirius and James clutched their stomachs, laughing. James looked over at Lily to see her lips pursed in a tight line, a laugh threatening to escape her

“It’s not rude if he’s not alive yet,” James said, and Lily nodded before she burst out laughing.

**“Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell, "thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year."”**

“Prat,” Lily muttered, and the boys looked at her, bewildered, “What?” she said defensively, “It’s true!”

“That’s your nephew right there,” Remus said, and Lily scrunched her nose up

“That is no nephew of mine,” she mumbled, and James grinned at Sirius, who winked back.

**"Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mommy and Daddy."**

**"All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face. Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.”**

“Merlin! Has he actually done that before?” Sirius gasped, “Why haven’t I thought of that?” he asked James, who snorted

“Mate, I don’t think your family would approve,” he said, and Sirius gave him a blank look

“My point exactly. Jeez, where have you been?”

“Sorry,” James chuckled, and turned back to Lily, who was glaring at him, “What?”

**“Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin. Two more presents. Is that all right?””**

“Popkin?” Remus asked, scrunching his nose

“What the bloody hell? What kind of child allows their parents to call them something as pathetic as _popkin_?” Sirius asked, as if the word was a personal insult to him.

“Who calls their son popkin?” James asked, bewildered. Lily looked at the three of them and laughed before returning to the book. Who’d have thought hanging out with the Marauders could actually be fun?

**“Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work.”**

At this, Sirius snorted, as did everyone else, “I bet it was, young Harry,” he said wisely and Lily rolled her eyes

“Honestly, he’s such a smart mouth,” she said, shaking her head fondly

“He hasn’t said it out loud,” James pointed out, “So he does have _some_ shreds of politeness,”

“Touché,” Lily sighed, before turning back to the book.

**“Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty ... thirty..."”**

“THIRTY NINE! Bloody hell how thick could you get?” Remus yelled angrily. Bad math irritated Remus just as much as bad grammar irritated Lily.

**“"Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.**

**"Oh." Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel, "All right then." Uncle Vernon chuckled.**

**"Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair.”**

“Don’t encourage such behaviour!” Lily said indignantly, looking down at the book with wide eyes.

“Spoilt prat,” Sirius said in an agreeing tone, nodding.

**“At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR.”**

“How much stuff does this child need?” James asked, shocked

“I don’t know James, you’re the rich kid, how much stuff _does_ a child need?” Remus asked in a faux innocent tone, as Sirius snickered.

“I’m not!”

“Yes, you are,” Sirius sighed

“So are you!” James said, deciding to change perspective to gain some respect

“Yes, but you’re the _adored_ rich kid who can get whatever he wants,” Sirius said, and James huffed, crossing his arms. Lily was watching this exchange in amusement, “You never answered, how much stuff _does_ a child need?” Sirius asked, and James looked up at the ceiling, obviously choosing not to answer.

“ **He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.**

**"Bad news, Vernon," she said. "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him." She jerked her head in Harry's direction.”**

“He has a name,” Lily said quietly, and James noticed the glint of anger in her eyes.

“At least she doesn’t call him popkin,” Sirius muttered, and Lily flashed him a grin

“You’re never going to get over that, are you?” she laughed, and Sirius shook his head, grinning, “You lot are incorrigible,” she said fondly, before returning to the book

**“Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap. Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies. Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg, a mad old lady who lived two streets away.”**

“That’s rude, Harry,” Lily said disapprovingly

“At least he’s honest,” Remus reasoned, but Lily huffed

“He’s rude. Trust Petunia to not teach him manners,” she muttered, and James chuckled

“He has manners. He hasn’t said anything out loud, has he?”

“Your argument is going to get old very soon,” Lily said to James, who grinned at her.

“Oh look! It’s a marital spat!” Sirius cooed, and both Lily and James turned to glare at him while Remus snickered uncontrollably.

**“Harry hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned.”**

“Come on Lily, give him a break, that sounds revolting,” Remus said, and Lily sighed, tying up her hair

“Fine,” she said, “But if he’s rude again…”

“What are you going to do?” James challenged, sitting up, the urge to push her buttons too strong to resist, “Glare at the book?”

“You know what Potter, I think I’ll just make sure he never exists,” she said, raising her eyebrows challengingly, and both Sirius and Remus laughed at the bewildered expression on James’s face.

“She wins this one mate,” Sirius said, and James chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

**“"Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this. Harry knew he ought to feel sorry that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg, but it wasn't easy when he reminded himself it would be a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again.”**

Lily turned to James, who bit his lip and threw her an apologetic glance

“You can yell at him when he’s alive?” he asked weakly, and Lily laughed.

“We’ll see,” she said, and turned back to the book. Sirius hopped over to the couch and sat next to James

“Looks like it’s getting better with her,” he whispered, and James grinned happily

“Fingers crossed, mate”

“No need,” Sirius chuckled, waving his hand, “We now know that the two of you will get married”

**“"We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.**

**"Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy." The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there - or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug.”**

“You’re not a slug Harry!” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“I’m pretty sure he knows that,” she said, and Sirius shrugged

“He’s the one who said it, not me.”

“ **"What about what's-her-name, your friend – Yvonne?"**

**"On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia.”**

“Good! She’s a nasty old cow,” Lily shuddered, and the boys burst out laughing

“And you lecture _Harry_ for being rude,” Remus teased, and Lily flushed

“That’s different,” she said, but all the boys continued to give her those looks, “Fine! Merlin!” she said, turning the page violently, “Whatever, I’m just glad he’s not stuck with Yvonne”

“What’s so bad about her?” Sirius asked curiously, sliding down onto the floor so he was sitting next to her

“She’s, well, she’s pathetic!” Lily squeaked, and the boys grinned, “She walks around in these tiny clothes, and I don’t mean skin exposing,” she said, and Sirius grimaced, “I mean, _tight_. It’s revolting”

“Okay Lily, continue,” Remus said, holding back his laughter. Lily seemed pretty worked up, and they all knew what teasing when she was this worked up led to. James was responsible for that discovery.

**“”You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer).  Aunt Petunia looked as though she'd just swallowed a lemon.**

**"And come back and find the house in ruins." she snarled.**

**"I won't blow up the house," said Harry, but they weren't listening.”**

“Nice try,” James said sympathetically

**“"I suppose we could take him to the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly, "...  and leave him in the car...."**

**"That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone...."”**

“He’s a child! He can’t _do_ anything to your bloody precious car!” James yelled defiantly, as the others nodded along.

“Maybe he should,” Sirius added, earning himself a glare from Lily, which he chose to ignore

**“Dudley began to cry loudly. In fact, he wasn't really crying - it had been years since he'd really cried - but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted.”**

“Once again,” Sirius said, holding his hand up, “Prat.”

“Agreed,” Lily said, much to general incredulity, and continued to read.

**“"Dinky Duddydums, don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him.”**

They couldn’t breathe. They were sitting there, laughing silently, and clutching their stomachs, tears streaming down their faces.

“DINKY DUDDYDUMS?” Sirius barked, wiping his eyes, “Lily are you sure you’re not making this up?” he pleaded

“I am sure, see, look,” she said, holding the book up to Sirius’s face. Sirius took one look down at it and burst into another fit of manly giggles.

“I’m going to call him that every time I see him,” James said happily, and Lily turned to him

“What makes you think you’re going to see him?” she challenged, and he winked at her, causing her to flush. 

**“"I... don't... want... him... t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs, "He always sp- spoils everything!" He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms.”**

“I hate that child, he’s pure _evil_ ,” Remus said irritably. He was lying upside down on the armchair, his head dangling only a little bit away from Lily’s.

“I have to agree with you,” Lily said, nose scrunched in disgust.

**“Just then, the doorbell rang - "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically - and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother.”**

“Eurgh, even his _name_ is revolting,” James said, and Sirius nodded in agreement.

**“Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat.”**

Sirius snorted, “I did _not_ see that coming,” he said sarcastically, and they laughed.

“He sounds like a snobby rich kid,” James agreed, and they all turned to him

“James, _you’re_ a snobby rich kid,” Lily said, and James gasped, as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

**“He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once.**

**Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life. His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him,”**

“Shocker,” Sirius said sarcastically, and Lily turned to him, confused

“What do you mean?”

“That his uncle couldn’t think of anything,” he winked, and Lily laughed as both James and Remus smacked their foreheads with their palms

“C’mon mate, you’ve done better than that,” Remus said, “I am not impressed”

“I have to agree with Moony on this one,” James nodded, and Sirius gasped, turning to Lily

“That was good, wasn’t it?”

“I’ve heard better,” Lily said honestly, “But it was still funny!” she added, as Sirius’s face fell into a dramatic pout

“Don’t bother Lily, he’ll be out of it when you start reading again,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, and James snorted

**“but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.”**

“Oh that doesn’t sound good!” Sirius squawked, and Remus turned to Lily

“Told you,” he said, and Lily laughed.

**"I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's,”**

“How much do you want to bet that he’s going to snog him?” Sirius said, and the other three looked at him in disgust

“THAT’S DISGUSTING!” Lily shrieked, throwing everything she could reach at him, as Sirius laughed and ducked. Remus and James were watching the scene, grinning, “Nothing that revolting will get anywhere near snogging him!” she said angrily, and Sirius snorted

“Jealous?” he asked, and Lily paled

“THAT’S INCESTUAL!” she shrieked, throwing the book at Sirius’s head, and achieving her target. The book slapped Sirius on the side of the face, causing him to yell and fall off the armchair somehow.

“WOMAN! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAIM ME?” he yelled, holding his face, “My face! My beautiful face!” he cried, and the other three burst out laughing, “This isn’t FUNNY!” he yelled, sitting up and glaring at them, a large red mark on the side of his face.

“I respectfully disagree,” James chuckled, grabbing the book and tossing it to Lily, who smiled her thanks.

“I hate you,” Sirius said, glaring at Lily, who shrugged

“I can live with that”

“If I hate you, James can’t marry you,” he said, and James turned to look at Sirius, eyebrows raised

“I may cry,” Lily said sarcastically, and Remus snorted at both of his friends’ wounded expressions

“That was never a rule,” James said, turning to Sirius, who huffed

“Whose side are you on?” he whined, and James winked, “PRONGS!” Sirius stood up to tackle James, but Lily opened the book quickly and started to read, distracting them from the fight.

**"I'm warning you now, boy - any funny business, anything at all - and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."”**

“Do you think he’d really do that?” Lily asked, looking at James, much to his pleasure.

“I don’t know,” James replied honestly, and Lily sighed, “I’m sure he’ll be fine,” James said, “He’s eleven, after all, shouldn’t he be getting a Hogwarts letter?” he asked, and Remus’s eyes widened

“Why didn’t I think of that?” Remus squeaked, “That’s probably what the story is about! Harry’s first year at Hogwarts!”

“But what’s the sorcerer’s stone?” Lily asked, and they all looked at her, “Come on, that’s the bloody title!”

“Right!” Sirius said, frowning, “Keep reading then, let’s find out.”

**“"I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly!” but Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did. The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen.”**

“So the kid does have magic,” James smiled, and Lily grinned

“Good thing, too, otherwise he’d be stuck with Petunia,” Lily shuddered, and James chuckled good-naturedly.

“Wouldn’t it be crazy if you two produced a squib?” Sirius asked, “I mean, Lily’s top of our year and James is Marauder and pranker extraordinaire, so obviously he’s pretty good at magic. That would be so strange,” he mused. Lily turned to look at Remus, while James gaped at Sirius, who only shrugged and gestured for her to continue reading.

**“Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar."”**

“Not going to work,” James chuckled, and Lily frowned at him

“What?” she asked, and James grinned

“My grandmum tried the same thing, it’s not going to work,” he said wisely, and Lily huffed, obviously frustrated that she wasn’t getting the answer.

“Well I don’t blame her,” she said, eying the mop on top of James’s head, “Doesn’t it bother you?” she asked, and James shook his head, “Oh obviously not, you enjoy the ‘I just got off a broom’ look,” she muttered, and James laughed good-naturedly.

“Yes, I do,” he said, “Plus, there’s not much I can do,” he shrugged, and Lily narrowed her eyes

“We’ll see about that,” she said, and turned back to the book while James clutched his locks protectively.

**“Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses.”**

“Children are cruel,” Remus sighed, playing with the hem of his shirt, “Poor child had a terrible childhood,”

“I know,” Lily said sadly

“You wouldn’t,” James chuckled, “You’ve never been teased.” Lily looked at James incredulously for a few seconds.

“I’m _always_ teased!” she said, “By you, by the Slytherins, by tons of girls who are drooling after you!”

“W-what?” James said shakily

“You tease me, _all the time,_ ” Lily said angrily, glaring at James, who looked to his bewildered friends for help, receiving none

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think it was a big deal!” he said defensively, and Lily huffed

“Not a big deal, my _arse_. Wouldn’t you just _love_ to be teased by someone _everyday_?” she asked. The boys looked at her incredulously, but she only huffed, “Forget it, whatever,” she said, and turned back to the book, James’s eyes glued to her. 

“Lily, I’m sorry,” James said, and she looked up into his genuinely remorseful eyes.

“S’fine,” she sighed, and looked back down at the book, “Really James, forget it,” she said, feeling his eyes still glued to her, and smiled at him, before looking back down. 

**“The next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off.”**

“Told you,” James shrugged, and Lily looked at the book, amazed

“Drat it!” she grumbled, “That means I cant ever shave it off!”

“Nope,” James said happily, making a popping sound on the ‘p’.

“I can’t deal with that,” Lily groaned, and James grinned happily as Remus and Sirius sniggered at Lily’s misery.

**“He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he couldn't explain how it had grown back so quickly.”**

“That’s uncalled for!” Sirius said angrily, “How the bloody hell can he have caused that?” he asked, and Remus shook his head in disbelief

 **“** If you two die,” Remus said, “I’m stealing your child.”

“Yeah! Me too!” Sirius said, nodding vigorously.

“ **Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls) - The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until finally it might have fitted a hand puppet, but certainly wouldn't fit Harry. Aunt Petunia had decided it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished.”**

“If he had been I would have grabbed a time turner and gone into the future, and slapped her silly,” Lily said bluntly, and James snorted

“Will that even work now, though?” Remus asked, and they all turned to him, “I mean, now that you guys know about this, will it all happen this way? Are we basically ruining the downfall of Voldemort?” he asked. Lily and James looked at each other curiously, before turning back to the book, choosing to address that question later.

“Why would you even _buy_ a sweater that’s brown with orange puff balls?” Sirius asked, horrified, and they all laughed.

**“On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens.”**

“Nice,” the Marauders said in unison, and Lily looked at them incredulously

“How is that nice?” she asked

“Lily, you need to have more fun,” Sirius said, putting his hands behind his head and looking up at the ceiling

“I have fun, it’s just _safe_ ,” she said, and Sirius snickered

“That sounds naughty,” he said, wagging his eyebrows at her, and Lily flushed before looking down at the book, trying to ignore three sets of sniggers

**“Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney. The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trashcans outside the kitchen doors. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid- jump.”**

“No! You flew!” Remus said, flapping his arms like a bird to exaggerate his point

“Well, the wind thing is completely possible,” said Sirius, “Remember   
Prongs in first year? A butterfly could’ve knocked him over.”

“You have a point,” Remus said, grinning at the affronted James

“I wasn’t _that_ scrawny!” he said defensively

“Yes, you were,” Lily laughed, and James gasped as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

“I like you Evans,” Sirius said, and Lily smiled at him before turning back to the book.

“ **But today, nothing was going to go wrong. It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room.”**

“He’s eleven and those are _all_ the places he’s been?” Lily asked sadly

“Yes?” Sirius said uncertainly, and Lily shot him an exasperated look

“That was _rhetorical_ ,” she said, ignoring the snickers from Remus and James

“ _You’re_ rhetorical!” Sirius shot back, and Lily raised an eyebrow at him as the three boys laughed.

“What?”

“Yes!” Sirius said, and Lily blinked

“You’re not making sense”

“Squirt!” he said happily, and Lily huffed

“Whatever.”

**“While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects.”**

“So he likes to complain about Harry?” Sirius asked cheekily, and James shot him a blank look, “What? I’m only checking”

**“This morning, it was motorcycles.”**

“I LOVE MOTORCYCLES!” Sirius said happily, and Lily sighed,

“Can somebody shut him up?” she asked, and James grinned at her.

“On it,” Remus said, and looked at Sirius, “FOOD!” he yelled loudly, and Sirius turned around to see if there was any behind him, “There you go,” Remus said, as Lily giggled and James rolled his eyes, amused.

**"... roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorcycle overtook them.**

**”I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly, "It was flying."”**

“Harry!” Lily whined

“You’re so stupid!” James said angrily, waving his hands around

“James!” Lily snapped, and James bit his lip.

“You should’ve kept your mouth shut,” Remus advised the book.

**“Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front.”**

“Yep, see, stupid move,” Sirius said in a gentle voice

“Think before you speak!” Lily chastised, and Remus snorted

“He gets it from his father”

“Agreed,” Lily said solemnly

“I’m _right here!_ ” James exclaimed, and Remus grinned at him

“I know”

**“He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache: "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!" Dudley and Piers sniggered.”**

“Shut up prats,” Sirius mumbled

“No, really? Motorcycles don’t fly? I didn’t know that!” Lily said sarcastically, and Remus grinned

“MINE DOES!” Sirius announced, loudly, and Lily flinched

“Right, my bad, sorry.”

“You should be”

“Er, all right,” Lily said uncertainly, not wanting to get into that again.

**“”I know they don't," said Harry, "It was only a dream." But he wished he hadn't said anything. If there was one thing the Dursleys hated even more than his asking questions, it was his talking about anything acting in a way it shouldn't, no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon - they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas.”**

“Oh yes, he dreams about a flying motorcycle and _suddenly_ he’s going to turn dangerous,” Remus nodded, “That makes perfect sense”

“Hey! He said motorcycles don’t fly!” Sirius said, upset, “They do!”

“They’re not supposed to,” Lily said, “It’s illegal to tamper with one to make it fly,” she said, turning to look at him, “Something to think about”

“Yes mummy,” Sirius said, smiling in a sickeningly sweet way.

**“It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families. The Dursleys bought Dudley and Piers large chocolate ice creams”**

“Isn’t that kid fat enough?” Sirius asked the ceiling, and Lily looked at Remus, who put his hands up in surrender

“So? He can’t have ice cream?” Lily asked, and Sirius shrugged

“If my child was fat, which will never happen by the way,” he said, “I wouldn’t give it ice cream,” he said confidently, and Lily looked at him, offended

“But it’s a child! You can’t deny a child ice cream! That’s like, like, I don’t know! It’s just really bad,” she said, and James laughed, “Oh shush”

**“at the entrance and then, because the smiling lady in the van had asked Harry what he wanted before they could hurry him away, they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop.”**

James grimaced, “Don’t worry kid, I’ll buy you thousands of large chocolate ice creams,” he said, and Lily snorted

“No you wont,” she said sternly

“Er, yeah, I was joking,” said James under Lily’s stern gaze, and his friends snickered.

**“It wasn't bad, either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond.”**

“Seriously! This kid is brilliant!” Remus chuckled, and Lily grinned at James, who grinned back happily, his heart hammering a bit too fast.

“I can totally see Dudley scratching his head with a stupid look on his face,” Sirius snickered, and Lily sighed

“It would be his thinking face,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Lily! That’s so rude!” James said in a mocking tone, and Lily shrugged, smiling.

**“Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to walk a little way apart from the Dursleys”**

“I would too,” Sirius said sympathetically, “Can you imagine being seen in public with them?” he asked incredulously

“Who’s the snob now?” Lily asked, and Sirius shrugged

“I’m being honest,” he said

“Well, I’m with Sirius on this one, I wouldn’t want to be seen in public with two whales, a rat, and a toothpick,” James said, and Lily burst out laughing

“Toothpick?” she choked, and James shrugged

“She’s skinny, and she probably looks _skinnier_ next to the whales,” he said, and Lily nodded. That made logical sense.

**“so that Dudley and Piers, who were starting to get bored with the animals by lunchtime, wouldn't fall back on their favorite hobby of hitting him.”**

“If they bloody dare-“ Sirius started

“What are you going to do?” James challenged, and Sirius turned to him slowly

“I understand why she’s hated you for so long,” he said, and James’s expression fell as Remus laughed.

“I didn’t hate you,” Lily said comfortingly, and James’s face brightened considerably.

“Really?” he asked, and Lily nodded

“I strongly disliked you,” she said, and Remus and Sirius laughed

“That, I can live with,” James said, leaning backwards, content.

**“They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory”**

“What’s that?” Sirius asked Lily, who shrugged

“I’d guess a sort of dessert,” she said, and Sirius nodded thoughtfully

“I thought you knew all the food,” Remus gasped, and Sirius huffed

“I cant know _everything_ ,” he said, “It’s tragic, I know, but if I did people would get really jealous,” he said in such a sincere tone that Lily almost believed him

“Grow up,” James advised, and Sirius guffawed

“ _You_ grow up,” he countered, and James sighed, looking to the heavens for guidance

**“didn't have enough ice cream on top, Uncle Vernon bought him another one and Harry was allowed to finish the first.**

**Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last.”**

“NO!” Sirius whined, “And he was _just_ starting to enjoy himself!”

“Well, didn’t you see that coming?” Remus asked, and Sirius nodded

“I just hoped I was wrong!”

“I know,” Lily said sympathetically.

“Well he should be going to Hogwarts soon so we should be okay,” James said, and Sirius nodded sadly

“I wish it wasn’t too good to be true,” he said, “But this way I have more to make fun of,” he said happily, and Lily groaned.

“Why does this happen to me?” she asked nobody in particular, and Remus laughed.

“How about you just keep reading, eh?” Sirius asked, grinning at Lily, who sighed in defeat and picked up the book.

**“After lunch they went to the reptile house.”**

“Who cares?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed

“It’s obviously important otherwise it wouldn’t have been mentioned,” she said, and Sirius huffed

“No need to be so mean,” he said in a faux upset voice

“Only for you Sirius,” she said in a bored voice, causing James and Remus to chuckle, before continuing

“ **It was cool and dark in there,”**

“That’s nice,” Sirius said

“DO YOU MIND?” Lily hissed, much to Sirius’s amusement

“I now understand why you enjoy teasing her so much,” Sirius said to James, who grinned and winked at the affronted Lily.

**“with lit windows all along the walls. Behind the glass, all sorts of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of wood and stone.”**

“That’s so cool! I want to go there!” Sirius said happily, leaning forwards

“I’ll take you sometime if you _shut up_ ,” Lily said, and Sirius’s eyes widened

“You swear?” he asked in wonder, and Lily, looking up at his childish fascination, couldn’t help but smile

“Yes,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“You have to shake on it,” he said, holding his hand out, and Lily sighed, before shaking Sirius’s hand, unsure of what she had just gotten herself into, “They have to come too,” he said, nodding to Remus and James, and Lily nodded, “Yay!” Sirius said happily, “You may proceed”

“Thanks ever so much,” Lily grinned

**“Dudley and Piers wanted to see huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons.”**

“So they could kill them?” Remus asked excitedly, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Sirius howled with laughter

“It wasn’t _that_ funny,” Lily said, and Remus shrugged

“Apparently it was.”

**“Dudley quickly found the largest snake in the place.”**

“They’re in a brotherhood,” James said, and the other three burst out laughing

“Largest unite!” Sirius boomed in a deep voice, punching his fist in the air

“Hurrah!” Remus boomed, mimicking Sirius, and Lily laughed.

“Honestly, you’re all ridiculous,” she said, turning the page

**“It could have wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crushed it into a trashcan - but at the moment it didn't look in the mood.”**

“Because it saw Dudley’s face,” Lily muttered, and the boys roared with laughter

“Well done Lily,” Remus said, and Lily grinned

**“In fact, it was fast asleep.”**

“Shame, I liked Lily’s reason better,” James said in a disappointed voice, and Sirius nodded along.

“I bet she was right, it was just rude to say the thing about Dudley’s face,” he said knowingly, and James agreed somberly.

**“Dudley stood with his nose pressed against the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils.**

**"Make it move," he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge,”**

“It’s wondering which one it should eat first,” Remus said, and Lily giggled

“It’s wondering which one would take longer to eat,” she corrected, and James guffawed

“My bet’s on Dudley,” he said, but Sirius shook his head

“No, the mustache would be hard to digest,” he said wisely.

“Oh, of course, how silly of me,” James said cheekily, grinning at his best mate

**“”Do it again," Dudley ordered.”**

“Why can’t he do it?” Remus asked, and they all shrugged

“Because his arm is too heavy to lift?” Sirius suggested, and Lily pursed her lips, holding back a laugh.

**“Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on, "This is boring," Dudley moaned.”**

“ _You’re_ boring,” Sirius said defiantly, sticking his chin out

“Well done Sirius,” Remus said sarcastically, rolling his eyes

“Yeah mate, top notch, I bet Dudley’s ego burst,” James said just as sarcastically.

“I know right,” Sirius said gleefully, crossing his legs like a child.

**“He shuffled away.”**

“He’s too fat to move his feet,” Sirius said

“Enough with the fat jokes!” Lily laughed, and the boys grinned at her.

“ **Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake.”**

“Does that sound creepy to you?” Remus asked, and Lily huffed

“Don’t make fun of my baby,” she said, and Remus ruffled her hair brotherly

“I think it sounds creepy,” Sirius said, raising his hand

“I’m on Lily’s side,” James said, and Lily smiled at him.

“How can you look intently at a snake? I think that’s creepy,” Remus said, and Lily sighed, reading on before an argument broke out

**“He wouldn't have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself - no company except stupid people drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb it all day long. It was worse than having a cupboard as a bedroom, where the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to visit the rest of the house.**

**The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes.”**

Sirius screamed

“What?” Lily asked, clutching her chest.

“Felt like a scary moment,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus cackled with mad laughter.

“Yes, frightening,” laughed James, and Sirius nodded seriously.

**“Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's. It winked.”**

“What?” Lily asked, looking down at the book

“Are you _sure_ that’s what it says?” James asked, bewildered, and Lily nodded.

“Let me see,” Remus said, leaning over to look at the page, “Yeah, it does say that,” he said incredulously

“I’m so confused! Why is a snake winking at your son?” Sirius asked, looking at James, who shrugged, a crazed look on his face

“Let’s see what happens,” Remus said, and Lily nodded

**“Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. He looked back at the snake and winked, too.”**

“Weird,” Sirius sung in a high voice, adding too many syllables

“Shush! I would’ve done the same thing,” Lily said, and James looked at her, eyebrows raised

“You would’ve winked at the snake?” he asked in a deadpan voice.

“It winked first!” she said defensively.

**“The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, and then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It gave Harry a look that said quite plainly: "I get that all the time.”**

“This snake is really starting to freak me out,” Lily shuddered, and the boys nodded in agreement

“Why is it conversing with Harry?” Sirius asked

“It’s not conversing, Harry hasn’t said anything,” James said

“And he’s not a parslemouth,” Lily said, and then hesitated, “Is he?”

“I don’t think so,” Remus said uncertainly, “None of you are, and he’s not a Slytherin…”

“Keep reading!” Sirius commanded, curiosity coating his features

**“”I know," Harry murmured through the glass, though he wasn't sure the snake could hear him. "It must be really annoying."**

**The snake nodded vigorously.”**

“Merlin!” Remus gasped, looking at Lily incredulously, “He _is_ a parslemouth!”

“How?” James asked, looking at Lily, who was looking at him just as questioningly

“I wouldn’t know! I’m muggleborn! It’d have to be from your side of the family,” she said, and James bit his lip

“I don’t know any parslemouths!” he said, and Sirius cocked his head to the side

“Would it have anything to do with Voldemort?” he asked curiously, and Lily frowned

“But he’s not Voldemort, nor is he related,” she said, and Sirius nodded

“I know, it doesn’t make sense, I just have a feeling,” he said, and James frowned

“I don’t think that’d work mate,” he said, and Sirius nodded in defeat.

**“"Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked. The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it. _Boa Constrictor, Brazil_ , "Was it nice there?" The boa constrictor jabbed its tail at the sign again and Harry read on: This specimen was bred in the zoo.”**

“Honestly Harry, read the whole sign,” Lily muttered, and James and Remus exchanged an amused glance.

“Wait, no more talking, I want to see what happens!” Sirius said desperately, and Lily stared at him incredulously.

“You’re the one who’s usually interrupting!”

“Yes, and now you’re following in my footsteps. Stop it,” Sirius winked, and Lily glowered at him before returning to the book, her own curiosity taking over.

“ **"Oh, I see - so you've never been to Brazil."”**

“Very good Harry,” Sirius said sarcastically, and Lily looked up at him irritably, “What? Sometimes you just can’t pass off the opportunity!”

“You’re interrupting,” James said, translating Lily’s ‘I-am-going-to-kill-you’ expression.

“I am aware, Captain Obvious,” Sirius said, and James snorted as Lily continued to glower at Sirius and Remus snickered.

“May I continue?” Lily asked, her voice full of malice.

“Yes, you may,” Sirius said sweetly.

“Don’t push it,” Lily said, and Sirius blew her a kiss, before she returned to reading.

““ **As the snake shook its head, a deafening shout behind Harry made both of them jump.”**

“Snakes can jump?” James asked, and Lily threw him a blank look

“It’s a figure of speech,” she said, and James rolled his eyes

“Yes, I know that, but can you use that on a snake?” he asked, and Lily sighed

“Obviously,” she said, waving the book around, and James grinned at her

“What’s got _your_ knickers in a knot?” he asked, and Lily glared at him

“I want to know what happens and you lot keep interrupting!” she said, and the boys grinned apologetically

“Sorry, continue,” James said, and Lily smiled happily before looking at the book.

**“"DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!" Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could.”**

Lily looked up at Sirius expectantly, and Sirius grinned, “Did you miss my comments?”

“No, I was just expecting one so I paused,” she said, and Sirius laughed

“Well, I was thinking one,” he said happily, “Should I say it?”

“Why not?” Lily smirked

“Admit it, you think they’re funny,” Sirius said, nad Lily sighed

“I never said they _weren’t_ ,” she mumbled, and Sirius grinned, self-satisfied

“Well, if he’s going as fast as he can he’ll be there in a couple weeks or so,” Sirius said, “Cargo takes a long time,” he winked, and Lily groaned as did James and Remus

“That’s just mean,” said Remus, the corners of his mouth twitching

“It’s funny, but cruel,” James said, and Sirius grinned

“I know,”

“I wish I hadn’t paused,” Lily sighed, and the boys chuckled

**“"Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs.”**

“OI!” Sirius, James and Remus roared, and Lily flinched

“Honestly you three, it’s not like they can hear you!” she said, and the boys shrugged

“It’s the thought that counts, right?” James said, and Lily beamed

“That’s not going to work ever again,” she said, and Sirius and Remus guffawed

**“Caught by surprise, Harry fell hard on the concrete floor. What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened - one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror.”**

“What happened?” Sirius asked, bouncing up and down

“Let me read it,” Lily said, and Sirius grinned at her

**“Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished.”**

“ _Nice_ ,” Sirius said, nodding

“How is that nice?” Lily squeaked, “The glass is gone and a great big snake can kill my child!” she squeaked, and Sirius paled

“It wont kill Harry,” Remus said, “Harry set him free, and they’re friends”

“Nice, my sons closest friend is a snake,” James muttered, and Remus chuckled

“He’ll make more friends, he’s a funny kid,”

“Oh hush up you three I want to see if he survives!” Lily squeaked, shaking slightly

**“The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits.**

**As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, "Brazil, here I come... Thanksss, amigo."”**

“Told you, they’re friends,” Remus said, but his face betrayed his relief.

“Actually, they’re amigos,” Sirius corrected, and Remus threw him a deadpan look, “what?” Sirius said defensively, looking at James and Lily.

“He does have a point,” James said, and Lily guffawed.

“He doesn’t have a _point_ ,” she said, “He just said what Remus did, but in Spanish,” she said.

“Yes, and the snake said amigo, if I am correct, so then Sirius has a point,” James said, sticking his chin out, and Lily crossed her arms.

“That’s not a _point_ , that’s just a word,” she said.

“Can you two stop bickering long enough to finish this chapter, at the very least?” Remus asked, and Lily flushed, grabbing the book.

**“The keeper of the reptile house was in shock, "But the glass," he kept saying, "where did the glass go?"”**

Sirius snickered, as did James and Remus, “We should do that one day,” Sirius said, and James and Remus nodded

“What?” Lily asked, and they slowly turned to face her

“Er, it was a joke?” Sirius said in small voice, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Sure it was,” she smiled, “Whatever, I don’t wan to know,” she said, “Hopefully the snake will strangle you all and I can live a peaceful life,” she said, and Remus gasped

“But I thought I was your favorite!” he said dramatically

“What? No, she’s marrying me,” James said, and Lily flushed slightly

“But she paused for my comments, so obviously she likes me the most,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed, and opened the book in her lap.

“You cant read without us!” Remus said defiantly, as Lily turned the page.

“Well you’re not listening,” she said. The boys looked at her angrily before silently taking their seats as she turned back a page.

**“The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only gibber. As far as Harry had seen, the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels as it passed, but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car, Dudley was telling them how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death.”**

“Shame it hadn’t, you know?” Sirius said sadly, and Lily shook her head disapprovingly

“Honestly, you’re so mean, they’re only children,” she said.

“Admit it Lily, you hate them,” Remus said, nudging her shoulder

“Fine! I hate them,” she said, after a minute or so of Remus nudging her.

“Success!” Remus said happily, leaning over to hi-five James.

“What success?” Lily said, looking between the two of them bewilderedly.

“We got you to admit that you hate them,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Wasn’t so difficult,” she muttered, but the boys grinned, proud of themselves, anyways.

**“But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry."”**

“Stupid snob,” James muttered, “I wish the snake _had_ squeezed you to death.”

“I agree,” Lily said angrily

“Good luck Harry,” Remus said sadly, tucking his knees under his chin

“It was nice knowing you!” Sirius said, waving to the book

“They’re not going to kill him, Sirius,” Lily said, looking up at Sirius

“You never know,” he said mysteriously, and Lily rolled her eyes, grinning, before continuing on

**“Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go - cupboard - stay - no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.”**

“No meals?” Lily said angrily

“ _No meals_?” James said, completely furious, “How _dare_ they!”

“N-no meals?” Sirius said sadly, pouting, his lower lip trembling. The other three took one look at him before bursting into laughter.

**“Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food.”**

“Oh, he’s pretty smart,” Remus grinned, patting James on the head, “Thank Merlin he got Lily’s brains,” he teased, and James gasped as Lily and Sirius laughed

“I have brains!” James said defensively

“You do, but mine are better,” Lily said playfully, and James pretended to be offended

“I don’t like yours,” he said, glaring playfully at Lily, who pouted, before returning to the book.

**“He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash.”**

“Not a car crash,” the four said together, and then looked at each other before grinning

“I don’t even think that’s possible,” Remus said, “For wizards to die ina car crash”

“I don’t either,” Lily said thoughtfully, “We have all those charms, especially the Super-Sensory Charm,” she said, and they nodded thoughtfully

“Well we’re off topic,” James said, and Sirius laughed

“That we are, shall we?” he asked, looking at Lily

**“He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died.”**

“That’s because you weren’t,” James said

“I’m shocked he doesn’t remember something that didn’t happen,” Sirius gasped

“I know right? Absolutely mind boggling,” Remus said, playing along

“Whatever shall we do?” Sirius asked in a worried voice

“Let Lily finish, how about?” James chuckled, as Lily watched the exchange in a somewhat frustrated manner.

**“Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burn-ing pain on his forehead.”**

The four of them looked at each other, shocked

“The Avada?” Lily breathed, looking at the book.

“Of all the things he could remember, he remembers that?” James asked, bewildered

“I didn’t know that that was possible,” Remus mused, twiddling his thumbs

“Probably because nobody’s ever survived the Avada, so nobody would know,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, right,” Remus said, grinning awkwardly

“Can you imagine remembering something like that? It’s so traumatic,” Lily said sadly

“At least he doesn’t know what it really is,” James said comfortingly, and Lily shrugged

“He thinks that’s a car crash where we died, so it’s still pretty traumatic,” she said, and James sighed

“This is so complicated. I still don’t understand _why_ Voldemort tried to kill him,” James said, and Remus nodded, frustrated, and frowning slightly

“We’ll find out in good time,” Sirius said, gesturing to the book, “There’s still a lot left.”

“Alright, let’s continue,” said Lily.

**“This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from. He couldn't remember his parents at all.”**

Lily and James looked sadly at the book

“He doesn’t remember us?” Lily asked, biting her lip sadly, “That’s so sad,” she whispered. James shifted over and put his arm around her shoulder, rubbing her arm soothingly

“It’s okay. He’ll know us now, wont he?” he said, and Lily nodded, wiping her eyes.

“I’ll stop crying if you stop,” she said, and James quickly raised his hand up to his eyes.

“I wasn’t crying,” he said, “These glasses, they’re just kind of blurry, and that strains my eyes which then start to water,” he said, nodding as if he was completely correct

“I’m sure,” Sirius said sarcastically, and James stuck his tongue out at him.

**“His aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions. There were no photographs of them in the house.**

**When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened; the Dursleys were his only family.”**

“I really don’t understand,” Remus huffed irritably, “Where are _we_?” he said, gesturing to himself and Sirius, “Why didn’t we take him?”

“How am I supposed to know?” James asked, as both his friends glared at him.

“You _did_ leave him to one of us, didn’t you? As godfather?” Sirius asked, and James’s eyes grew wide.

“How am I supposed to know?” he asked, again.

“Well, will you?” Remus asked.

“Probably,” James said awkwardly, and the two boys grinned.

“Fine by us,” Sirius announced.

“You may continue Lily”

**“Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him. Very strange strangers they were, too.”**

“At least there are magical folk nearby,” Remus said, trying to lighten up the irritated expressions on James and Lily’s faces.

“Not the same,” Lily muttered

“Hey! Who knows? Maybe they’re watching over him,” Sirius said thoughtfully, “Trust Dumbledore to keep an eye on The Boy Who Lived,” Sirius said the title dramatically in hushed tones, and Lily rolled her eyes as James chuckled

“That’s true,” James said, “Dumbledore wouldn’t just abandon him, right?” he asked, turning to Lily, who bit her lip

“That sounds possible,” she said, and Sirius grinned happily, proud of himself.

**“A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley.”**

“That’s Dedulus!” James squeaked, and Sirius sighed

“Again on Mr. Diggle. Honestly James, keep it to yourself, or get a room,” Sirius said bluntly, and both Lily and Remus laughed

“But he’s there!” James said, pointing, and Sirius sighed

“Thank you for pointing that out Jamie,” he said, and James smiled happily.

**“After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything. A wild-looking old woman dressed all in green had waved merrily at him once on a bus. A bald man in a very long purple coat had actually shaken his hand in the street the other day and then walked away without a word. The weirdest thing about all these people was the way they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look.”**

“I bet Dumbledore is responsible for all that,” Remus said, nodding, “I mean, magical folk don’t usually go to muggle shops, ride the bus, or walk down muggle streets,” he said, and Lily nodded furiously

“No, you’re right, that _cant_ be a coincidene,” she said, “I mean, why would they bother otherwise, if it weren’t for Harry?”

“Do you think they’re protecting him?” James asked, “From Voldemort, I mean?”

“Doubt it,” Sirius said, “Isnt he supposedly gone?” he asked

“Why supposedly?” Lily asked curiously, and Sirius shrugged

“I just have a feeling that Voldemort isn’t actually gone, otherwise, why wouldn’t someone have just fired an AK at him earlier? No, there’s something else,” he said, biting his lip thoughtfully

“Probably because nobody _could_ fire the AK at him,” James said, “He doesn’t really give you the opportunity”

“Plus, he knows Legilimency,” Remus said, and they looked at him incredulously, “I heard it from Hestia Jones, she works on the _Prophet_ , so I’m guessing she’d know.”

“Look at you Moony, with connections to pretty ladies,” Sirius said, grinning at Remus

“Okay, now that we’re done discussing this…” Remus said, trailing off, bright red.

**”At school, Harry had no one. Everybody knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang.”**

“STAND UP TO THE MAN!” Sirius yelled

“He’s hardly a man,” James muttered, and Sirius barked out a laugh

“That’s the end of that chapter,” Lily said, standing up and stretching her back

“What? That’s it?” Sirius asked, looking up at her, “B-but, what about Hogwarts?”

“It’s a seventeen chapter book, I’m sure Hogwarts is in there somewhere,” she teased, and Sirius nodded sadly.

“What’s the next chapter?” James asked, and Lily bent down to pick up the book

**“Chapter Three: The Letters from No One.”**

“I bet the letters are from Hogwarts,” Sirius said, and the other three looked at him with deadpan expressions

“Really Sirius?” Remus asked sarcastically

“However would you have guessed that?” James asked dramatically, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at his snickering friends.

“Oh Merlin!” they all jumped as Lily yelled, “We’re late for dinner!”

“NO!” Sirius yelled, looking genuinely insulted that he was late, “THAT’S TWICE! WHATS HAPPENING?” he yelled desperately, and sprinted out of the Common Room. Remus looked at the two and cleared his throat awkwardly

“I’ll follow him then,” he said, and sprinted after Sirius.

“Subtle,” Lily commented, and James laughed

“Very,” he said. The two fell into an uncomfortable silence, looking anywhere but at each other

“So,” Lily said awkwardly, twirling her foot

“This is awkward,” James chuckled, and Lily laughed

“Well, that’s what happens when you learn that you’re going to get married and have a child and die with someone,” Lily said, and James nodded, grinning, “I don’t know if we can just be friends,” Lily laughed, and James snorted, his heart soaring

“Really? I thought that’s what friends did!” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, hitting his arm playfully

“No,” she said, and James grinned at her

“So, do you want to-“

“No!” she said quickly, “Do _not_ ask me right now,” she said, and James grinned

“I was going to ask if you want to go down to dinner,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly

“No you weren’t”

“Fine, I was lying, but let’s say I was, yeah?” James said, and Lily laughed, “So we’re definitely friends then?”

“I suppose,” she said, as they made their way to the Portrait Hole

“Can I ask a question?” James asked, and Lily shrugged. Taking that as a yes, James went on, “Why do you think Petunia is so mean to Harry?” he asked, and Lily bit her lip

“I don’t know,” she said sadly, “I think it may be because he has my eyes,” she said, looking off into the distance, “And I think that deep down, Petunia still likes me, you know, we’re sisters,” she said, and James nodded, “And I think my death actually hurt her,” she said, and James nodded

“I bet it did, you can’t just hate your sibling,” James said, and Lily shrugged, “Sirius doesn’t”

“Well, yeah, you cant,” said Lily sadly. James looked at her and noticed she was getting very upset

“Let’s talk about something else then,” he said, and Lily smiled thankfully, “What’s your favorite colour?”

“What?” Lily laughed, turning to look at him, “Why does that matter?” she asked, as they reached the doors to the Great Hall.

“Well, I want to get to know you,” James said, and Lily looked at him for a second before shaking her head and entering the hall. James sighed dejectedly and walked in after her, seating himself next to Sirius.

* * *

That night, when they returned to Gryffindor Tower, they decided they’d read more in the morning. Right before James followed his friends up to the dormitory, Lily called out to him.

“James!” James turned quickly to see Lily standing by the sofa, “It’s Orange,” she said, and smiled at him, before heading up the staircase to her dormitory, leaving James grinning at the bottom of the stairs.

* * *

**Hey guys! Here’s the third chapter! I hope you’re liking it. Keep reading and reviewing, and I’ll update fast (:**

**HAPPY FANFICCING.**


	4. The Letters from No-One

**Hey guys! So here’s the next chapter. I’m so glad the magical world is starting to come in! It was getting boring to write. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters but I do own their characterizations in this story and all of my others. I do not own Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, the parts in bold that are centralised, that is exclusively owned by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

Lily sat up quickly the next morning and turned to look at her clock, sighing largely as she saw it was only 6 in the morning. She had had an extremely restless night, which was completely understandable, considering the fact that she’d found out that she was going to get married to someone she supposedly hated and she was going to die by the hands of Voldemort. Not to mention the fact that she and James had a kid, who was sent to live with Petunia after they died.

The restlessness was understandable.

Lily shuddered, and hopped out of bed; now that she was awake, it would be absolutely useless to try and force herself to go back to sleep. After completing her usual morning routine of showering and brushing her teeth, she skipped down the dormitory stairs.

The Common Room looked unnaturally eerie. It was almost _never_ empty and never quiet. This was what Lily hated about holidays, it was so empty. And because of the lack of people, and body heat, it was cold. She shivered and walked over to the sofas. The book was lying there, and she picked it up.

“Should I read this without them?” she murmured to herself, looking at the boys staircase. Deciding they would probably skin her alive if she did, she sighed and walked up the stairs to the Marauders dormitory, the book hugged to her chest. She knocked on the door of the dormitory, but was greeted by the sound of a snort.

Slowly, she pushed the door open and looked inside to see the three boys, sound asleep. Quietly, she closed the door behind her and walked over to the first bed. She pulled the curtains open to see Sirius sleeping, mouth ajar, on his stomach, and grinned. He always reminded her of a child. She walked over to the next bed and opened the curtains to see Remus sleeping like a corpse; on his back, hands gracefully on his stomach. She walked over to the next bed and pushed the hangings open to see James lying on his stomach, head turned to the side, arms crossed under the pillow. She really hadn’t ever noticed how handsome he was.

She sighed and looked around at the sleeping boys, “What do I do?” she murmured, biting her lip, looking from one boy, to the next, to the next. Who should she attempt to wake up?

Deciding she’d try and wake the other two _before_ James, since that was simply awkward in her mind, she walked over to Remus’s bed and gently poked his arm. No response.

“What are you doing?” she turned around quickly to see James sitting up, rubbing his eyes like a child. He reached over to the table off to the side of his bed and grabbed his glasses, pushing them onto his face. He blinked multiple times, as if not believing that Lily was standing in his dormitory

“I’m _trying_ to wake you buffoons up,” she said, and James frowned at her. She held up the book, “I want to read!” James grinned and ran his hand through his hair, before jumping off the bed.

“Easy,” he smiled, and walked over to Remus’s trunk

“What are you doing?” Lily whispered, and James grinned

“No need to whisper, they sleep like the dead,” he said, and Lily giggled, “Here,” he said, pulling a bag out of the bottom of Remus’s trunk.

“What’s that?” Lily asked in a normal voice, and James’s eyes twinkled

“His secret chocolate stash,” he grinned, “Well, it _was_ secret before I hid in here last week,” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up, “Er, long story,” he said, and threw the bag at her, which she caught after fumbling a little, “Hold that,” he said, and then walked over to Sirius’s trunk. He opened it and pulled out a plush frog.

“What is that?” Lily asked, amused, and James winked

“This is Squishy,” he said, holding up the bunny, “Sirius has had it since he was two,” he said, and Lily grinned. The frog looked like it had been through a lot; it was dirty, tattered, and was even patched up with different cloth at different places.

“So what do we do with these?” she asked, and James gestured for her to walk over to him.

“Just leave, they’ll know,” he said, and Lily frowned, “We all have charms placed on our most prized possessions,” he explained, as he and Lily made their way to the door of the dormitory, “As soon as we step out, they will wake up,” he said.

They reached the door and James winked. Lily took a step out and suddenly there was a yell behind her as Remus sat up, “Stop!” he yelled, and Lily turned around, “Oh, Lily, hi,” he said, embarrassed, “That’s weird,” he muttered, “I thought the charm went off,” he said, gesturing to his pillow

“So if it leaves then the pillow does something?” Lily asked James, who nodded, “What if you lot are not sleeping?” she asked, and James grinned.

“Then nobody would _dare_ ,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“YOU STOLE MY CHOCOLATE?” Remus bellowed, jumping off his bed and sprinting towards Lily, snatching the bag, “How did you find it?”

“I didn’t,” Lily said, pointing at James. Remus turned to glare at him. James laughed and threw the frog out the door. With a yelp, Sirius jumped up and sprinted blindly to the door, crashing into Lily.

“Mine,” he muttered, grabbing the frog and walking back to his bed, falling asleep

“Fine, you know what, you lot are insane,” Lily said, “I am going to go read,” she said. Those seemed to be the magic words, because Sirius sat up with a start.

“Let’s read!” Sirius exclaimed, suddenly completely awake, “Lily!” he whined, “Come!” he yelled, gesturing to his bed. Lily raised her eyebrows at him and turned, bewildered, to face Remus and James, one of which was hugging his chocolate, and the other glaring at Sirius.

“I’m good thanks,” Lily said, “I’ll go downstairs,” she said, and skipped down the stairs from the dormitory. When she reached the Common Room, thunderous footsteps sounded behind her and the three boys appeared, disheveled, in their pajamas, but wide awake.

“Go ahead Lils,” Sirius sighed, falling onto the sofa, yawning hugely.

“Finally!” Lily said dreamily, falling onto her favorite armchair that Sirius had been hogging the previous day. The boys chuckled as she smiled happily, throwing her legs over the side of the armchair and resting her head on the other arm, “Am I reading?” she asked, and Remus shook his head, still cuddling his bag of chocolate.

“I want to read,” he said, holding his hand out.

“Remus, is that your chocolate stash?” Sirius asked, amused

“Sirius, is that a stuffed animal?” James asked, and Sirius stuck his tongue out as Lily giggled

“No, _he’s_ not stuffed,” said Sirius childishly, hugging the frog to his chest.

“What’s _your_ most prized possession?” Lily asked curiously, and both Remus and Sirius began to snigger wildly as James flushed

“Why don’t you read?” James said to Remus, his voice too high.

**“The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment.”**

“But how could they expect _him_ to be responsible for the vanishing glass?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed. So this was going to be yet another day of Sirius interrupting the story of her son.

“Well, he was,” Remus replied, and Sirius waved it off, as if little boys caused glass to vanish every day.

“But they’re muggles! They cant _prove_ it was him,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed

“Well they probably know about him being a wizard, considering I’m a witch and James is a wizard, so they can safely assume it was his fault,” she said reasonably

“But he’s eleven! He has no control over it!” James said defensively

“Yes, but they don’t know that,” Lily said gently, and James huffed, crossing his arms

“May I continue?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded.

**“By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, the summer holidays had started”**

“But that’s such a long time!” James gasped

“At least they didn’t keep him in on his birthday,” Sirius said

“When’s his birthday?” Lily asked Sirius, who shrugged

“He would’ve probably mentioned it, don’t you think?” Sirius winked, and Lily rolled her eyes, “Shouldn’t you know when his birthday is?” Sirius asked, and Lily looked at him, bewildered

“How should I know?”

“You are his mother,” Sirius said reasonably

“He’s not alive yet!”

“Oh, right,” Sirius muttered, rubbing his eyes, “Too bloody early in the morning to think.”

**“and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches.”**

“That’s so mean!” Lily said sadly, and Sirius shrugged.

“What do you expect? Fat people shouldn’t be allowed on racing bikes,” he explained, and Lily groaned as James and Remus grinned in anticipation, “You see, if something _really_ heavy is riding on a bike, then the bike wont be able to stop because of the force from the really heavy thing going quickly,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed

“Isn’t it too early for physics?” Lily asked, and Sirius frowned at her

“What is a physic?”

“Never mind,” she muttered, “Muggle thing”

“No! Now I’m curious!” Sirius whined

“I thought you were Sirius?” Remus teased, and Sirius barked a laugh as Lily and James grinned.

**“Harry was glad school was over,”**

“If he wasn’t I would be very disappointed,” Sirius said

“Disappointed?” James exclaimed, “I’d be worried! What kind of child is _not_ glad that school is over?” he asked incredulously

“You have a valid point there,” Sirius said, nodding seriously.

“You never know, he is _Lily’s_ son,” Remus said, grinning cheekily at Lily

“Hey! I like holidays,” she said defensively, kicking her legs.

“You do? But, there’s no _learning_!” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes as all three boys roared with laughter

“Why don’t you keep reading Remus,” Lily sighed, and Remus chuckled one last time before continuing.

**“but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day.”**

“Disgusting,” James shuddered

“Why would you let so many snobs in the house at once?” Sirius asked, flustered.

“Their ego’s would take up all the space!” James gasped, and Remus and Lily laughed.

“Agreed! Not to mention the fact that there’s already reduced space thanks to the whales,” Sirius added, and James nodded, somehow managing to keep a straight face.

“Are we still doing the fat jokes?” Lily asked, exasperated..

“Because you said that, love, there will be more than necessary, just for you,” Sirius grinned, and Lily hid her face in her hands.

**“Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader.”**

Remus laughed, James snorted, Sirius smirked and Lily shook her head disapprovingly

“Honestly Lily, you insulted him just yesterday!” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged.

“I’ve matured,” she said, and James snorted.

“Over night?” he asked, and Lily nodded, causing him to chuckle.

“She’s loopy in the morning, isn’t she?” Remus mused, looking at Lily, who was looking up at the ceiling, kicking her legs against the side of the sofa.

“I believe so,” James said, and Sirius laughed.

“Dudley’s the biggest and stupidest of the lot,” he said, and turned to Lily, “Want to know why?”

“Not particularly,” she sighed, but Sirius ignored her

“Good! Because, you see, he’s not smart, since there’s so much fat on him that he cant reach his brain, and he’s fat because he’s stupid, so he eats away his problems,” Sirius said happily, and Lily groaned.

“That was _really_ bad,” she said. Sirius turned to James, who only shook his head sadly.

“I wish you hadn’t said that out loud,” he sighed, and Sirius pouted.

**“The rest of them were all quite happy to join in Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting.”**

“How mature,” Remus muttered, rolling his eyes

“Hey! Sounds just like Sna-“ Sirius was cut off when James’s hand came slapping down on his mouth, so that he couldn’t talk. Lily sat up quickly, narrowing her eyes at him.

“What?” she asked, and Sirius shook his head wildly, as did James and Remus.

“Nothing!” Sirius squeaked, when James removed his hand to hold it up in surrender and Remus cowered behind the book, hiding his face.

“Snape _what_?” Lily asked dangerously, and Sirius bit his lip.

“Snape shagging,” he said quickly, “Because we love him so much!” he added, holding his arms out. Lily looked at him for a second, before she burst into a fit of giggles.

“Who’s mean now?” James asked, as Remus looked at Sirius with a ‘what-is-wrong-with-you?’ expression on his face.

“Shut up,” Lily advised through her giggles. She took a deep breath before turning to Remus.

**“This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house,”**

“Good thing too, I wouldn’t want to be in there either,” Sirius shuddered.

“This way he’s not around such terrible people,” James said, and threw Lily an apologetic glance, which she shrugged off, lying back down and looking at the ceiling.

“I feel like going for a walk,” Lily said, and the boys turned to her.

“Then go,” Sirius advised.

“No! I want to know what happens,” she said.

**“wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he could see a tiny ray of hope.”**

“Why?” Sirius asked, bewildered, “That just means going back to school!”

“Yes, that’s why it’s called the _end_ of the holidays,” Lily nodded, and Sirius huffed, otherwise ignoring her.

“Well, I don’t know! Let me read!” Remus said defensively.

“But I don’t enjoy the sound of your voice,” Sirius mumbled irritably, and Remus snorted as Lily and James chuckled.

“Maybe _you_ should read then,” Remus said, throwing the book at Sirius.

“Fine, maybe I will,” he said, and opened the book. He looked at it for a second before tossing it back.

“Forget how to read, Sirius?” Lily teased, and James and Remus laughed as Sirius threw her a scathing look.

“No, it’s just too bloody early to read,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes.

“Sure,” James said, and winked at Lily before turning to Remus, who was laughing silently.

**“When September came he would be going off to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley.”**

“Hey! Okay I now understand his excitement to go to school,” Sirius said happily, “I love making new friends,” he said, grinning at James, who shook his head.

“You do know that he’s _not_ going to secondary school, right?” Remus said, “He’s going to Hogwarts.”

“How do you know that? He’s had no letters,” Sirius retorted.

“That chapter is entitled ‘The Letters from No One’,” Lily said.

“So how do we know they’re from Hogwarts?” Sirius challenged, and Lily sighed, rubbing her temples.

“It’s too early for this,” she muttered.

**“Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings.”**

“He got accepted?” Remus asked incredulously, “Must be a school where fatness is fantastic.”

“Lovely alliteration,” Lily laughed, and Remus grinned happily

“Thank you.”

“Maybe it’s Dolts Divine?” Lily suggested, and the boys laughed.

“Big Brainless Baboons,” James suggested, grinning as Lily threw her head back to laugh.

“Well done,” she said, wiping her eyes, “Stupidity Spot,” she added, and James chuckled.

“Dumb Dreary Dolts,” he shot back, and Lily laughed.

“Large Losers,” she challenged, and James burst out laughing. Remus and Sirius watched the two of them in fascination.

“Massive Monsters,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Juicy Juveniles!”

“Why are they juveniles?” James asked, after catching his breath. Lily shrugged.

“Well, look at who went there. Vernon, Dudley, Piers. Makes complete sense,” she said, and James nodded, grinning. The two sat there and looked at each other for a couple seconds, before Sirius cleared his throat, and they turned away from each other, flushing.

“Is it just me, or does that word remind you of pigs?” Sirius asked, turning to James, who shrugged

“It kind of does,” James said, cocking his head to the side

“You’re thinking of swine,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“I say it reminds one of pigs,” Sirius declared, “which makes perfect sense as Dudley’s going there, and Mr. Dursley did, and they both closely resemble pigs,” he said simply, and Remus sighed, choosing not to argue with Sirius.

**“Piers Polkiss was going there too.”**

“So it’s a snob school, basically?” James asked.

“Enough with the alliteration!” Lily laughed, and James’s eyebrows shot up.

“I didn’t even do that on purpose!” he squeaked in surprise, and Lily grinned.

“Maybe you’re just a natural,” she shrugged, and James puffed his chest out.

“That I am,” he smiled.

“Well, it is a private school,” Sirius mused, “So it can be considered a snob school.”

“Sirius, _this_ is a private school,” Remus said, gesturing around the Common Room, “Hogwarts! It’s a private school!”

“WHAT?” Sirius bellowed, sitting up, “Merlin, we’re all snobs!” he cried, hiding his face, “Don’t look at me!”

“Gladly,” Lily teased, and Sirius gasped.

“Take that _back_ Lily-Flower!” he demanded.

“What did you call me?” Lily asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, spur of the moment,” Sirius shrugged.

“Just because we go to a private school doesn’t mean we’re snobs,” James said.

“You’re the snobbiest of us all!” Sirius cried, “You’re a private school snob _and_ a rich kid!” he yelled, “Why am I friends with you?”

“Merlin, you’re overreacting!” Lily said, exasperated. She leaned over her armchair and pat Sirius gently on the arm, “We’re not snobs just because we go to a private school, you have to _act_ like a snob to be one!” she said earnestly, “Like, the Slytherins; they’re private school snobs.”

“I thought you liked the Slytherins,” Sirius shot back, and Lily bit her lip.

“I never liked the Slytherins. I liked _one_ Slytherin,” she shrugged, “But not anymore,” she said, and leaned back, “honestly, don’t look so guilty, it was the right thing,” she shrugged, as the boys looked at her guiltily.

“Er, should I continue?” Remus asked uncertainly.

“Sure,” she smiled, and went back to looking dreamily at the ceiling.

**“Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public school. Dudley thought this was very funny.”**

“I don’t see what’s so funny about it,” Sirius muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Stonewall?” James scoffed

“What’s wrong with that?” Lily asked curiously.

“Why is it called _Stonewall_?” James grinned

“Because the walls are made of stone,” Sirius said knowingly, and James nodded.

“Of course,” he said seriously, and Lily rolled her eyes fondly.

“ **"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry, "Want to come upstairs and practice?"”**

“I doubt they do that,” Lily said, rolling her eyes, “Petunia told me the same thing before I went into the fourth grade,” she said.

“This is Petunia’s child,” Remus said, “See the resemblance?”

“Oh, right,” Lily flushed

“Is he suggesting that they go upstairs so he can shove Harry’s head in a toilet?” James asked angrily.

“Yep,” Sirius said, “Bet you Harry runs away,” he said.

“Nah, I bet he says something cheeky,” Remus laughed.

“You’re on,” Sirius said, sitting up.

“How much?” Remus sighed.

“Ten,” Sirius said, staring Remus down.

“Galleons?” Lily squeaked, and James nodded, while the other two continued to stare each other down, “Are you insane?”

“Apparently,” Remus murmured, “Fine,” he said after a few seconds, holding his hand out, shaking Sirius’s firmly.

“James, you read it,” Remus said, holding the book to James, who sighed, and took it from him.

**“"No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it-it might be sick."”**

“I WIN!” Remus yelled happily, punching the air, “Thank Merlin, I don’t even have ten galleons on me,” he whispered to Lily, who giggled. Sirius huffed and crossed his arms, “I’m waiting,” Remus said, holding his hand out, wiggling his fingers.

“I don’t have it right _now_ ,” Sirius said, “It’s upstairs! You’ll have to remind me later,” he said, and Remus grinned.

“Oh I will,” he said.

“Er, I think he’s only going to owe you five,” James said, scanning the page.

“What? Why?” Remus asked, as Sirius brightened and sat up.

“ **Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.”**

Lily burst out laughing, as Remus’s face fell and Sirius grinned.

“Prongs, I could kiss you,” he said, “five galleons it is, Moony,” he said, smiling sweetly at Remus.

“I love how he ran away _before Dudley could work out what he’d said_ ,” James chuckled, and Lily nodded, giggling.

“That’s why I was laughing,” she said, “He’s a cheeky brat, isn’t he?” she mused, cocking her head at the book.

“Yep,” James said, making a popping sound on the ‘p’

“Just like his father,” Sirius said sweetly, and James whacked him on the back of the head.

“Don’t hit!” Lily chastised, and James stuck his tongue out at her.

**“One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's.”**

“Poor Harry,” James cooed

“Isn’t she the mad old bat who loves cats?” Sirius asked, and James nodded

“Sirius!” Lily hissed

“What? She’s not alive yet!” he said defiantly

“Yes she is!” Lily said.

“Oh,” Sirius paled, “I’m sorry!” he yelled out to the skies, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus roared with laughter, “I apologized,” Sirius said, smiling at Lily

“Really? I wouldn’t have known,” she muttered, as Remus snatched the book from James, obviously wanting to read.

“How is she going to find a uniform in Dudley’s size?” Sirius asked, and Lily groaned as James and Remus laughed.

“She’ll probably get one made,” Lily muttered, and Sirius chuckled.

“Doubt it,” James said, “Isn’t it a school for fat kids? We established that,” he said, and Lily nodded.

“Oh of course, how silly of me,” she said, and James laughed.

**“Mrs. Figg wasn't as bad as usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before.”**

“Wonder why?” James chuckled, and Lily rolled her eyes

“At least Harry didn’t have a bad time,” she said, shrugging, “Do you think she’s muggle or magical?” she asked, and the boys looked at each other.

“I’d go with muggle,” Remus said, biting his lip.

“What?” Sirius gasped, “I’d say magical!”

“Why?” Remus asked, bewildered, “She’s shown _no_ signs!”

“I just have a feeling,” Sirius shrugged, “Bet?” he asked hopefully, “Five galleons!”

“Fine,” Remus huffed, and shook hands with Sirius.

“What if we never find out?” Lily asked, “I mean, she’s not a major character or anything,” she said, and the boys shrugged.

“Then nothing happens,” James said, and both Sirius and Remus glared at him.

“Then how do we know who wins?” Sirius asked irritably.

“How about we keep reading to _see_ if we find out?” Lily asked, and James sent her a grateful grin as his friends nodded and returned to the story.

**“She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years.”**

“That’s nice of her,” Lily smiled.

“What? She gave him several year old cake!” James said.

“That’s more than he usually gets,” Sirius muttered, and Lily sighed, “No offence”

“None taken,” Lily chuckled.

“Now I feel like chocolate cake,” Remus mumbled, and the other grinned.

“ **That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform.”**

“Show off,” Sirius muttered. Lily threw a pillow at his head, and then mimed someone zipping their mouth, “Sorry,” Sirius muttered, and kicked James as he began to chuckle.

**“Smeltings' boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters. They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking.”**

“Oh that’s pleasant,” Remus said sarcastically, eyebrows raised.

“ _Why_ would you wear _orange_ knickerbockers?” Sirius asked, bewildered.

“With maroon? I don’t know, it should be against the law,” Lily shuddered, and the boys laughed.

“I didn’t peg you as the girly girl,” James chuckled, looking at her teasingly.

“I’m sorry to disappoint,” she said sarcastically, grinning at James, who gasped, as his friends burst out laughing.

“W-what? I d-didn’t mean-“ James spluttered, and Lily burst out laughing.

“It was a _joke,_ James,” Lily grinned.

“O-Oh, right,” he said, running his hand through his hair. Sirius clapped him on the back and gave him two thumbs up.

**“This was supposed to be good training for later life.”**

“Of course,” Sirius nodded

“What else do you need to do to live your life?” Lily asked

“Obviously, using sticks to fight is definitely what you need to live your life,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, “Honestly.”

**“As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up.”**

“If that’s what a grown up looks like, I don’t want to grow up,” James said, shaking his head at the idiocy of the situation.

“Ickle Dudleykins!” Sirius squeaked, shaking his hand irritably, “What is _with_ this woman?” he asked, turning to look at Lily.

“She’s always loved nicknames,” Lily said awkwardly.

“Did she have any for you?” Remus asked eagerly.

“Let’s not get into this,” Lily squeaked, scratching her nose awkwardly.

“No! Let’s,” James said happily, grinning at Lily, who flushed.

“Er, no, let us not,” she said sternly, and looked at Remus, giving him her best mother look. Remus bit his lip and with a quick look at James and Sirius, looked back down at the book.

“ **Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.”**

“ _That’s_ my boy,” James chuckled, and then clapped his hand over his mouth.

“Looks like Prongs got attached,” Sirius grinned, nudging James with his foot.

“Oh leave him alone,” Lily mumbled.

“I’m sorry, am I irritating your husband?” Sirius teased, turning around, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at him, her neck turning bright red.

“Why are you so annoying?” she asked, and pulled her wand out.

“No! I’m sorry!” Sirius squeaked, hiding his face from her as James and Remus laughed.

“I wasn’t going to do anything,” she laughed, “It was poking me,” she said irritably, and began to twirl it with her fingers.

“It was poking you?” Sirius asked, bewildered, “So you pulled it out because it was poking you, _not_ because you’re going to hex me?” he squeaked, and Lily nodded calmly.

“Why would I hex you?” she asked innocently, and Sirius adopted a frightened expression.

“Because I’m annoying?” he squeaked, and Lily giggled. Sirius gulped.

**““There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning”**

“Dudley farted,” Sirius said, and suddenly he squeaked, “No! I’m sorry!” he yelled, as Lily picked her wand up. Lily smirked.

**“when Harry went in for breakfast.”**

“I wouldn’t eat it mate,” James shuddered, and Sirius nodded.

“I doubt it’s the food that smells bad,” Lily said, “If they’ve got two whales and _Petunia_ , who is an excellent cook, it’s something else,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

“Touché, you can’t have bad food if two people in the household are fat,” Sirius said, and they all nodded.

“I think-“ James was cut off as Lily screamed. He turned quickly to see Sirius jumping away from Lily happily, her wand in hand.

“Honestly, she was frightening me,” Sirius said defensively, as his two friends threw him annoyed looks.

“I was _twirling_ my wand!” Lily hissed, and Sirius shrugged.

**“It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink.”**

“Told you,” Lily said, glaring at James, who held his hands up in surrender

**“He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water.**

**"What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question.”**

“It wasn’t a _bad_ question,” Lily squealed, “I would’ve asked the same thing!”

“Exactly,” Sirius winked, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“What _is_ it anyway?” James asked, and Remus shrugged

“I’m sure Petunia answers, and we can find out, _if you let me read_ ,” he added, raising his eyebrows challengingly, and James chuckled.

**”"Your new school uniform," she said.”**

The four of them grimaced, “Poor kid,” Remus moaned, looking at James sympathetically.

“Why are you looking at _me_ like that?” James asked, frowning.

“Well, he apparently looks like you,” he said, “I’m going to pretend he’s you,” he grinned, and James snorted.

“Shut up,” he advised, as Lily and Sirius laughed.

**“Harry looked in the bowl again.**

**"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."”**

Sirius and Remus burst out laughing as James grinned and Lily shook her head fondly.

“He’s such a dolt, honestly,” Lily laughed.

“‘didn’t realize it had to be so wet’, kid’s brilliant!” Sirius exclaimed, and Remus nodded, grinning.

“He’s a Marauder,” Remus said, and James grinned happily while Lily groaned.

“He’s going to be a trouble maker isn’t he?” she sighed, and the three boys nodded..

“Yes,” James said simply, and Lily huffed.

“I hate you,” she said, and James’s eyebrows shot up.

“Why?”

“He _obviously_ got it from _you_ ,” she said, and Sirius snorted.

“Obviously,” he said, and Lily shrugged, turning back to Remus.

**"Don’t be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia, "I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."”**

“Don’t call him stupid!” James said angrily

“That was a stupid thing to say,” Lily reasoned, and James huffed

“So? She didn’t have to be so hard on him!”

“She wasn’t! I would’ve said the same thing if he had said that around me,” she said, and James rolled his eyes

“Yes, but you wouldn’t have _snapped_ ,” he said, “That implies that she means it!” Remus and Sirius looked at each other uncomfortably.

“I doubt it’d look like everyone else’s,” Remus muttered, and Lily grinned.

“He’ll look like an elephant,” she laughed, and Remus chuckled.

“Yeah, a scrawny one,” Sirius joked, nudging James, who nudged his friend back, shaking his head fondly.

**“Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue. He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High - like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably.”**

“That’s what I said!” Lily said happily, grinning.

“Like mother like son,” Sirius said wisely

“That’s not the phrase,” she said, and Sirius shrugged

“I adapted it,” he retorted cheekily, and Lily snorted

“Must’ve taken some genius to adapt that,” she said sarcastically, and Sirius nodded.

“I know, and it did,” he said, gesturing to himself, causing Remus to snort, “OI!”

**“Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform.”**

“Maybe if you bought him some clothes, it wouldn’t smell so bad?” Remus suggested, and the others laughed.

“Yes, but that would be wasting money on Harry!” Lily gasped sarcastically.

“Honestly Remus, haven’t you learned that Harry’s useless yet?” James said, imitating Lily’s tone.

“Merlin Remus! You’re so stupid!” Sirius yelled accusingly, and Remus pouted

“I’m sorry! Merlin I’m going insane,” Remus whined, and Lily nodded.

**“Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table.”**

“Brat,” Sirius commented, and Lily sighed.

“Must you say that _every time_ he does something irritating?” she asked, and Sirius nodded.

“That’s what James does when he’s hungry,” Remus said, and James gasped as Lily and Sirius laughed.

“I don’t have a stick!” he said, and Sirius winked at him, causing James to flush and throw a pillow at him. 

**“They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.”**

“Click!” Sirius squeaked

“Flop,” James said in a deep voice. The two looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Wow, the two of you are just hilarious,” Remus muttered, looking to Lily for clarification, only to see her biting her lip, “You found that funny?” he asked incredulously, and Lily burst out laughing

“I’m sorry!” she squeaked, giggling wildly as all the boys looked at her incredulously, “I just didn’t see that coming,” she giggled, and Remus shook his head as James and Sirius grinned smugly

“ **"Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.**

**"Make Harry get it."”**

“Go get the mail, you fat lump!” Sirius said indignantly

“He cant, mate, it’s too much exercise,” James said bitterly, and Sirius snorted

“You stole my line!” Sirius gasped

“I’m surprised you didn’t think of that first,” Lily said, shaking her finger at Sirius, “Aren’t you supreme master of fat jokes, or something?” she asked, and Sirius’s eyes widened

“Supreme Master!” he gasped, “That’s the _perfect_ nickname for me!”

“No, it’s not,” Remus said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him

“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a title as brilliant as ‘Supreme Master’, you’d probably just be ‘Chocolate Man’ or something,” Sirius said, gesturing to Remus’s stash of chocolate, which he was still holding.

“Isn’t that going to melt?” Lily asked, and Remus shook his head

“There’s a cooling charm on the inside,” he said, and Lily nodded

“I didn’t know that!” James said, and Remus shrugged

“It’s not important,” he said, and James huffed

“We were looking for it in places that could be cooled!” James said, gesturing ot himself and Sirius, “Us and Wormtail! If we knew that we’d have checked _everywhere,_ ” he said, and Remus snorted

“You didn’t think I’d put a cooling charm on them?” he asked, and James flushed, running his hand through his hair.

“ **"Get the mail, Harry."**

**"Make Dudley get it."”**

“Nice try,” James chuckled

“Why is that a try?” Sirius asked, and the other three threw him a blank look

“It’s not going to work,” Lily said, and Sirius pouted

“That’s not fair,” he said, “Dudley was supposed to get it _first_ ,” he protested

“You sound like a child,” Lily laughed

“He _is_ a child,” Remus sighed.

**"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."”**

“RUDE!” Sirius hissed, and Lily laughed

“What did you expect?” she asked, an annoyed expression on her face.

“A dramatic change in character?” Sirius said hopefully, and Lily snorted, as did James and Remus.

**“Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and - a letter for Harry.”**

The four of them sat up straighter.

“This is it,” Lily squealed, “That’s his Hogwarts letter!” she said happily

“How do you think he’ll react?” James asked, smiling at the book

“No idea,” Lily said honestly, laughing slightly.

“I don’t think he’ll believe it, at first,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged

“You never know,” she said, “I believed it.”

“How come?” Remus asked curiously.

“Well, because I kept doing strange things. It made sense,” she shrugged, and the boys nodded.

**“Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him.”**

“I am disappointed in you two,” James said, looking at Remus and Sirius, who looked down at the floor, ashamed

“But seriously, why didn’t we?” Remus asked, and Sirius shrugged

“Maybe Dumbledore wouldn’t let you?” Lily suggested, “I mean, he did want Harry to grow up away from the magical world.”

“Yeah, that’s probably it,” Sirius said, thankful for an explanation for his absence.

**“Who would?”**

“I WOULD!” Sirius said, raising his hand

“ME TOO!” Remus exclaimed.

“And Wormtail too, I’m assuming,” Sirius said, and Remus nodded.

**“He had no friends, no other relatives - he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back.”**

“I hate those,” Sirius muttered

“When have you ever gotten one of those?” Remus asked, bewildered

“You know where the library is?” Lily gasped, and Remus and James laughed as Sirius rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“Yes, I do, I go there frequently,” Sirius said, and Lily looked at him curiously

“Really?”

“Yep, for a snog after hours,” Sirius winked, and Lily huffed, crossing her arms.

“I should’ve known,” she muttered, as James and Remus howled with laughter at Lily’s expression of disgust.

**“Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake:**

**_Mr. H. Potter_ **

**_The Cupboard under the Stairs_ **

**_4 Privet Drive_ **

**_Little Whinging, Surrey_ ** **”**

“It’s _really_ creepy how they do that,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded quickly.

“So wouldn’t Dumbledore know then? That Harry was being mistreated?” James asked curiously, and Remus shrugged

“He knows that Harry lives in a cupboard under the stairs,” he said, gesturing to the book, “So I’d assume so.”

“Then why hasn’t he _done_ anything?” Lily asked

“I don’t know!” Remus said defensively, “Go ask him!”

**“The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink. There was no stamp.”**

Sirius snorted, “Muggles.”

“What’s wrong with stamps?” Lily asked

“It’s just such a stupid concept,” Sirius muttered, and Lily frowned

“Wh-“

“Just let it go Lily,”Remus said, holding up a hand, “Sirius has some sort of grudge against stamps.”

**“Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter H.”**

“HOGWARTS!” they all yelled, and then looked at each other, before grinning

“Wow, we _really_ need to talk less,” James said, grinning around at them.

“Not to mention that we need to stop stating the obvious,” Remus snorted, and Lily giggled.

**“"Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke.”**

“Hilarious,” Sirius said, his face expressionless

“He should do the comedian thing,” Remus said

**“Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter.”**

“No!” James groaned, “You should’ve opened it in the hallway!”

“Or slipped it into your cupboard!” Lily sighed, “What’s the use of living right next to the front door if you don’t take advantage of it?” she hissed, and the others shook their heads dejectedly

“They’ll send another one if he loses it, right?” Sirius asked, and the others shrugged

**“He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope. Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard.”**

“I hate cheap people,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He can’t pay it _on the spot_ ,” she said, and Sirius shrugged

“I’m just finding reasons to hate him,” he said

“Haven’t there been enough?” James asked, amused, and Sirius nodded

“I want to see how many I can find,” he grinned, and James chuckled

**“"Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia, "Ate a funny whelk-."”**

“Good,” Lily smiled, and the boys looked at her, shocked

“What?” Remus asked, when none of the boys said anything

“She’s evil,” Lily said, “She has this evil puppy named Ripper, and I swear she’ll have a mustache when she’s older,” Lily shuddered.

“Disgusting!” Sirius gasped, horrified

“Is she large?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded.

“Merlin, what is _with_ this family?” James asked, bewildered

**“"Dad!" said Dudley suddenly, "Dad, Harry's got something!"”**

“SHUT UP!” Remus roared, “For once in your life, _shut up!_ ” he yelled angrily

“Can’t do much now,” James sighed, leaning back sadly, “Damage has already been done.”

“Prat,” Sirius growled.

**“Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.”**

“You should’ve opened it faster!” Lily said sadly, “Just _rip_ ,”

“I always pegged you as a ‘open your wrapping paper carefully’ kind of person,” Sirius mused.

“No, that irritates me,” Lily said, “I mean, the present’s _inside_ , why look after the wrapping paper?”

“Exactly!” Sirius said, holding his arm out, “See!” he said, turning to James, who laughed

“You open your wrapping paper carefully?” Lily asked, disgusted

“Well, if someone’s spent the time wrapping it-“

“That’s no excuse!” Lily said

“That’s what I said!” Sirius said excitedly, bouncing up and down.

“Congratulations,” James said sarcastically.

**“"That's mine!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back.”**

“That’s right!” Remus cheered, “Fight for your letter Harry!”

“Get it back!” Sirius urged

“Guys, really?” James chuckled, “He wont be getting it back.”

“When did you get so pessimistic?” Sirius asked, and James shrugged

“ **"Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon, shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it. His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.”**

“I wish I could see that!” James sighed longingly, “That would be _so_ funny,” he said, and Sirius nodded.

“Can you imagine?” he gasped in wonder, “We’ve only got McGonagall to go from red to green, never go grayish white,” he sighed

“We will,” James said, grinning devilishly, and Sirius mimicked him.

**“"P-P-Petunia!" he gasped.**

**Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.**

**"Vernon! Oh my goodness - Vernon!"”**

“It’s only a letter!” Lily said, exasperated, “Don’t make such a _big deal_.”

“Didn’t they see that coming?” Remus asked, rolling his eyes, “Kid made glass disappear.”

“They should’ve seen it coming,” Sirius agreed, shaking his head in disgust.

**“They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick.”**

“I have never been prouder of that kid,” Sirius said, clutching his heart and sniffling magnificently.

“I hope the jab hurt,” James muttered, and Lily laughed

**“"I want to read that letter," he said loudly**

**“I want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's mine."**

**"Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope.”**

**Harry didn't move, “I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.**

**"Let me see it!" demanded Dudley.”**

“Shut _up_ Dudley!” Remus yelled

“You don’t _need_ to see it,” Sirius said angrily, “Harry needs to see it!”

“He’s not the brightest crayon in the box, is he?” Lily asked, and James chuckled, shaking his head.

**“"OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them.”**

“Don’t man handle my child!” James yelled angrily.

“How _dare_ he,” Lily hissed, glaring at the book.

“At least Dudley’s finally getting treated badly,” Sirius said gleefully, clapping his hands

“You _really_ don’t like him, do you?” Remus asked, amused, and Sirius shook his head.

**“Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole”**

“Go Harry! Go Harry!” James and Sirius chanted, jumping up and down. Lily and Remus laughed at them.

**“Dudley won”**

“Come _on_ Harry!” Sirius said angrily, falling down on the sofa

“When he’s alive, we have to teach him how to wrestle,” James aid, and Sirius nodded

“No,” Lily said sternly, and James opened his mouth to say something, “Absolutely not,” she said, and James sighed, and pouted.

**“so Harry, his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor.”**

“He’s intelligent,” Remus mused

“At least he didn’t give up and go to his cupboard to brood,” Lily said

**“"Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address - how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don't think they're watching the house?"**

**"Watching - spying - might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.”**

“Why would anyone want to follow _you_?” Sirius asked, and then clapped his hands, as if he’d just insulted Vernon Dursley into the next century.

“Because we _do_ that,” Lily said, “Waste our time, watching, spying and following muggles,” she said sarcastically

“He’s _really_ not that smart, is he?” James asked honestly, and Lily chuckled

“Apparently not,” she said.

**“"But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don't want -"”**

“If you do I will kill you,” Lily said, sitting up straighter as James’s eyes widened.

“Would that even work, though?” Remus asked skeptically, “I doubt Dumbledore would take that in his stride”

“Doubt it,” Lily said, nodding, “But still!”

“I know,” James said soothingly, nodding.

**“Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen.”**

“Snob,” Sirius commented, and Lily snorted

“Sirius, your shoes are shiny black shoes,” she said

“That’s different,” James said, “only snobs wear their shiny black shoes around the house,” he said, and Lily shook her head, amused.

**“"No," he said finally, "No, we'll ignore it. If they don't get an answer...Yes, that's best...we won't do anything...”**

**"But -"**

**"I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?"”**

“Nonsense?” Lily asked irritably, “You don’t even have the right to say that!” she said angrily

“I know,” Sirius aid sympathetically, nodding, “Did you ever do magic around him?”

“No, I’m underage,” she said, “Maybe later though,” she said dangerously, ad the boys exchanged terrified glances

“We’re going to have to keep an eye on her,” Remus muttered, and James nodded frantically, watching Lily warily.

**“That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard.”**

“Odd, what do you think is going to happen?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged

“Will he give him the letter?” Remus asked

“Doubt it,” James muttered, crossing his legs.

**“"Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door.”**

“He cant fit through the door,” Sirius said, amused, and Lily sighed

“Sirius, just be quiet for a little while, alright?” she asked, and Sirius nodded, “Was it _that_ simple?” she asked James, shocked, and James shrugged

“You could’ve tried asking nicely before,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“It was such an easy solution,” she murmured, and Sirius grinned

“Too easy,” Remus nodded.

**“”Who's writing to me?"”**

“Hogwarts, young Harry,” Sirius said wisely, and Lily snorted

“I asked nicely!” she squeaked defiantly.

“Yes, and it didn’t work,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily groaned as James and Remus snickered.

“I’m sorry,” James said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him

“This is your fault,” she said, and his eyebrows shot up.

“How is it my fault?” he asked.

“Wait, what’s his fault?” Remus asked

“That I’m dealing with Sirius,” she said, nodding towards Sirius, who gasped

“That’s rude!”

“So are you,” Lily shrugged, and James snickered.

“So it’s my fault you’re dealing with him?” he asked, and Lily nodded, “Fine,” he sighed

“When did you become so passive?” Sirius teased, and James rolled his eyes

“She’s right,” he shrugged, and Lily grinned at Sirius.

**“"No one. It was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly”**

“THAT’S A LIE,” Sirius announced, and Lily threw James a scathing look

“So I get the evil looks from now on?” he asked, amused, and Lily grinned

“I don’t know, I’ll alternate,” she shrugged, and James chuckled

**“"I have burned it."”**

“That should be _illegal!_ ” Remus growled

“He _burned_ Harry’s letter?” Sirius asked feebly, and James nodded sadly

“I hate this man,” he said simply

“I hope he chokes to death on his own mustache,” Lily muttered, and the three boys burst out laughing.

**“"It was not a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it."**

**"SILENCE!" yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling.”**

“Did they kill him?” Sirius asked hopefully

“I hope they _at least_ bit him,” James whined, and Remus shook his head, chuckling

“Don’t think so,”

“Well that’s a right shame,” Sirius said sadly

**“He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful”**

“I hope it was!” James said angrily, and Lily laughed

“I don’t think his face can pull off a smile,” she mused.

**“"Er - yes, Harry - about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking...you're really getting a bit big for it...we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom.””**

“That’s…nice?” James said, surprised

“See! A dramatic change in character!” Sirius gasped, pointing at the book.

“Is your life complete now?” Remus teased

“I don’t think they were being nice,” Lily said, frowning, “They probably just realized that Dumbledore knew Harry was mistreated,” she said, and the boys sighed

“Way to burst my hopeful little bubble,” James mumbled, and Lily smiled sympathetically.

**“"Why?" said Harry.**

**"Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle, "Take this stuff upstairs, now."”**

“ _You_ take it upstairs,” Sirius mumbled, and Lily giggled.

**“The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms: one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors (usually Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge), one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom.”**

“Spoilt prat,” James muttered

“Did you have one?” Lily teased, “An extra room for all your things?”

“No,” James said simply.

“Liar,” Sirius coughed, and James kicked him swiftly, gesturing to Lily, and Sirius grinned.

**“It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room.”**

“That’s really sad,” Lily said sadly.

“We’ll get him lots of stuff,” James assured her, and Lily nodded sadly

“So you’ve both completely accepted the fact that you’re going to end up together, and get married, and have a family?” Sirius cooed

“When has James ever _not_ accepted that?” Remus teased, and Sirius sniggered as James turned bright red.

“Leave me alone,” James mumbled, looking up at the ceiling.

“Well, that’s not fair,” Sirius said, clapping James on the back, “We should be teasing Lily,” he grinned, and turned to Lily, who shook her head wildly and hid her face in her knees.

“Can we just read?” James asked, and Sirius gaped at him.

**“He sat down on the bed and stared around him. Nearly everything in here was broken.”**

“So Harry’s moved from a cupboard to a garbage?” Lily asked irritably, and Remus chuckled

“At least the garbage has a bed and space,” Remus said, and Lily crossed her arms

“He’s living in a garbage dump,” she said irritably.

“It’s okay,” Sirius said soothingly, “I lived in a mansion, and I still hated it there,” he shrugged, and Lily smiled.

**“The month-old video camera was lying on top of a small, working tank Dudley had once driven over the next door neighbor's dog; in the corner was Dudley's first-ever television set, which he'd put his foot through when his favorite program had been canceled; there was a large birdcage, which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air rifle, which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it.”**

“IT BROKE BECAUSE HE SAT ON IT?” Sirius asked gleefully, and burst out laughing

“You can’t even make a joke out of that,” Lily chuckled shaking her head, “It’s a joke in itself.”

**“Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched.”**

“I don’t know,” Lily said, shaking her head as the others laughed.

“Why bother buying that kid books?” Sirius laughed

“Can he read?” James asked, and Lily shrugged

“He couldn’t do basic addition, so I doubt it,” she said, and Sirius roared with laughter.

“I _need_ to meet him!” he begged, falling to his knees and crawling over to Lily, “ _Please?_ ”

“Fine,” she laughed, and Sirius punched the air triumphantly.

“Did you hear that?” he asked James excitedly, and James nodded, chuckling.

**“From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother, “I don't want him in there... I need that room... make him get out..."”**

“That’s so mean! He could at least have the decency to make sure Harry didn’t hear,” Remus said indignantly, and James huffed

“That’s the point. He wants Harry to hear and get out of his room,” James said.

“You would know,” Sirius said, and grinned at James as he shot him a dirty look.

“I don’t see how he would _need_ a room full of broken objects,” Lily mused, looking up at the ceiling

“Well, he does take up a lot of space,” Sirius laughed, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Another one?” she asked, and Sirius nodded happily.

**“Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. Yesterday he'd have given anything to be up here. Today he'd rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it.”**

“That’s the spirit!” Sirius said in a cheerful tone, and Lily turned to him, bewildered

“What?” she asked, and he shrugged

“I don’t know, felt like the right thing to say,” he said, and Lily giggled

“I’m just glad he has a bed,” she said.

“Don’t you want him to have his Hogwarts letter?” James asked, and Lily nodded quickly

“Don’t get me wrong! I’m angry that he doesn’t, but I’m glad he has a bed,” she said, and James sighed

“Yeah, but I agree with him,” he said, nodding to the book.

**“Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet.”**

“Hallelujah,” Remus said, and the others burst out laughing

**“Dudley was in shock.”**

“Because he’d looked in a mirror!” Sirius yelled, and James burst out laughing

“Yeah, that’d probably do it,” he said, and Sirius grinned

“Aren’t you in shock every morning?” Remus teased, ad Sirius nodded

“Yes, but I’m in shock because I never imagined anyone could be so beautiful,” he said dramatically, grinning angelically, “Well, until I saw Lily, that is,” he said, winking at Lily, who giggled.

“Way to suck up,” she said, and Sirius winked.

**“He'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick,”**

“Yeah Dudley!” Sirius cheered

**“been sick on purpose,”**

“Eurgh, I hate that,” Lily shuddered

“Why were you sick on purpose?” James asked, aghast

“I had a stomach ache,” she shrugged

“So you felt the need to be sick on purpose?” James asked skeptically

“I never pegged you for the type to have an eating disorder,” Sirius said sadly, and Lily shook her head.

“No! I had a really bad stomach ache so I forced myself to throw up because I thought it was something I ate,” she explained, and all three boys scrunched up their noses

“Did you feel better afterword?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded.

“It actually worked?” James asked, surprised

“Yes, so you can stop irritating me about it now,” she said, and James grinned sheepishly.

**“kicked his mother,”**

“Honestly! This child is a terror!” Remus gasped, horrified

“He’s on a roll,” Sirius said, impressed.

“Sirius!” James yelled

“What? He is!” he said, and James rolled his eyes

**“and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back.”**

“How is that supposed to get your room back?” James asked, shaking his head. “Parental abuse hasn’t proved to be affective,” he chastised, and Lily snorted.

“You would know all about that, wouldn’t you?” she teased, and James grinned at her.

“The poor tortoise!” Sirius cried, hugging the frog tightly to himself, “Do you think it died?”

“Probably,” Remus said bluntly, and Sirius’s lip trembled

“He’s joking,” Lily said quickly, and Sirius nodded, calming down.

**“Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall.”**

“Didn’t I tell him to do that?” James asked, and Lily grinned

“I don’t think he heard you,” she said seriously, and James chuckled.

**“Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly.”**

“They’ve realized what terrors they are,” Sirius said knowingly, and Lily laughed

“That’s why they work so well together,” she said, “Nobody else wants them.”

“Ouch Lily! That was harsh!” Remus laughed

“What? I was being honest,” she said defensively, and the boys exchanged knowing glances, “Oh shut up,” she mumbled.

**“When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it.”**

“Nice my arse,” Remus muttered, “he just doesn’t want Harry to get it.”

“Because I’m assuming he’d have the brains to open it in the hallway this time,” James muttered, and Lily shot him a disapproving look.

**“They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall.”**

“Good boy. Break the house down,” James said, and Lily laughed

“Honestly, do you like him, or hate him?” she asked, and James shrugged

“I like him when he’s being mean to his parents,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Hey, think of it this way, if the house _does_ break down, then he’ll be left homeless as well,” Sirius said evilly.

“Yes, but so will Harry,” Lily protested, and the boys adopted solemn expression.

“Oh, right,” they said awkwardly, and Lily chortled.

**“Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive -'"”**

“The Smallest Bedroom?” James asked angrily

“Well, they wouldn’t give him the bloody largest,” Lily said bitterly

“They should, he’s been through so much!” James said defensively, “He’s an orphan, for Merlin’s sakes!” he cried.

“I didn’t think of him that way,” Lily said sadly, looking at James.

“Well, he is,” said James bitterly.

**“With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him.”**

“I bet it sounded like thunder,” Sirius sniggered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You are disgusting,” she said bluntly, and Sirius grinned.

“People must’ve thought it was an earthquake!” he said wildly, “They would’ve taken cover!”

“Sirius!” Lily yelled, grinning.

“What?” he asked innocently.

“I’m surprised the house didn’t fall down,” James chuckled, and Lily sighed as the three boys burst out laughing.

**“Uncle Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground”**

“BOOM!” Sirius yelled, “CRASH!”

**“to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind.”**

“GO HARRY!” James yelled happily, jumping up and down.

“I wonder if his arms got all the way around that fat neck,” Sirius mused, and Lily slapped her palm to her forehead, “I told you the fat jokes would get worse, love,” Sirius grinned, blowing her a kiss

“I chose not to believe it,” she said, “It was a better time.”

“Oh, isn’t your life just _tragic_?” Sirius said sarcastically, and Lily pouted, nodding, causing the boys to laugh.

**“After a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick, Uncle Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand.”**

“Drat!” James yelled, sitting down, crossing his arms, “I hate how he has more strength than my eleven year old.”

“Your _scrawny_ eleven year old,” Sirius said

“He probably doesn’t have more strength,” Remus said reassuringly, “He just as more body weight to throw around.”

“Right,” James chuckled, as Lily and Sirius squealed with laughter.

**“"Go to your cupboard - I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry, "Dudley - go - just go."”**

“Away?” James asked

“Forever?” Sirius asked hopefully.

“You two are ridiculous,” Remus declared

**“Harry walked round and round his new room. Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn't received his first letter. Surely that meant they'd try again. And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan.”**

Sirius and Remus groaned.

“What?” Lily asked.

“Well, if he’s anything like his father,” Sirius said, gesturing to James, “it won’t work.”

“Why not?” Lily asked, and Remus snorted

“James doesn’t plan well,” he said, and James flushed

“That’s not true!” he protested.

“Really James?” Sirius asked, turning to his friend with a raised eyebrow

“What happened when we let you plan the prank in third year?” Remus asked, and James flushed

“Good luck Harry,” he murmured, and his friends grinned at each other.

**“The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning.”**

“Do you think Harry repaired it?” James asked, awestruck

“Well, the Dursleys certainly didn’t,” Remus said, and James grinned in wonder

“That’s so cool!”

“SIX IN THE MORNING?” Sirius bellowed, “That’s _ridiculously_ early! Does mail come that early?” he asked Lily, who shook her head

“It comes around breakfast time,” she said

“WHY IS HE UP SO EARLY?” Sirius asked, and Lily winced

“Probably so he can get there before the Dursleys?” she suggested

“I would _never_ wake up at six,” Sirius said, and James grinned

“You did today, mate,” he said, and Sirius’s eyes widened, disgusted.

“Lily!”

“What?” she squeaked, “you’re the one who came down the stairs!” she said defensively, and Sirius huffed

“Drat it. I hate myself,” he said dramatically, throwing his head back.

**“Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys.”**

“Even if you did, it’d take forever for them to come after you,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed, otherwise choosing to ignore him.

“And he’d have warning, the sound of thunder would alert the whole neighborhood!” James said dramatically, and Sirius grinned, clapping James on the shoulder

“I knew there was a reason you were my best mate,” he said happily, and James smiled at him.

**“He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights.**

**He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first.”**

“That’s actually a pretty smart plan,” Sirius said, impressed.

“He’d give me a run for my money,” Remus agreed.

“He outdid you mate!” Sirius grinned, patting James on the back.

“It’s not going to work,” James mumbled.

“Well, at least it was a good plan. Yours didn’t even have a possibility of working,” Remus winked, and James stuck his tongue out at him.

**“His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door - Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat - something alive! Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face.”**

“BIG AND SQUASHY!” Sirius bellowed through his peals of laughter.

“That’s amazing,” Remus chuckled

“He actually _stepped on his face_?” James asked, his face red from laughing.

“I’ve _never_ stepped on someone’s face!” Sirius laughed.

“So even his _face_ is fat?” Lily asked, amused

“I bet his scrawny little foot just _sunk in there_ ,” Remus choked out, and they burst out laughing.

**“Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do. He shouted at Harry for about half an hour and then told him to go and make a cup of tea.”**

“That makes no sense,” James said, frowning

“I was expecting him to send Harry upstairs,” Remus agreed.

“He’s English, what do you expect?” Lily asked, and Sirius looked at her

“ _You’re_ English,” he said, and Lily shrugged

“I know.”

“Oh, drat, that was supposed to be an insult,” he muttered, and James and Remus grinned

“Wouldn’t you just be insulting yourself?” Lily teased

“I didn’t say it was a _good_ insult,” he muttered, embarrassed

**“Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Uncle Vernon's lap.”**

“Bloody hell,” Remus sighed

“SPILL THE TEA ON HIM!” Sirius urged, “It’ll distract him!”

“Then what? Grab the letters and sprint up the stairs?” Lily asked

“Precisely.”

**“Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink.”**

“ _Three_?” Lily asked, shocked.

“Hogwarts must _really_ be trying to get through to him,” James nodded, impressed.

**““I want --" he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes.”**

“At least do it where he can’t see!” Remus protested

“What?” James hissed, “How about, don’t do it at all?” he suggested, looking at Remus, who flushed

“Er, yeah, right,” eh said, and grinned sheepishly at James, who shook his head fondly.

**“Uncle Vernon didn’t go to work that day.”**

“HE couldn’t get off the floor,” Sirius said, grinning directly at Lily, who let her head fall back in misery.

“Will this ever stop?” she asked the heavens.

“Nope,” Sirius answered for her, and pat her foot sympathetically, “You’ll get used to it.”

“I don’t want to,” Lily muttered, and Sirius chose to ignore her

**“He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot.**

**"See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't deliver them they'll just give up."”**

“Infallible logic,” James said sarcastically

“Bloody brilliant,” Sirius agreed, nodding along.

“Honestly, how daft does he think us magical folk are?” Remus asked.

“Well, I don’t know Remus, you’re cuddling a bag of chocolate,” Lily said, and Remus stuck his tongue out defiantly as James and Sirius roared with laughter.

**“"I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon."**

**"Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me,"”**

“Thankfully,” Lily muttered, and James grinned at her.

**“said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.”**

“See, he’s brilliant!” Sirus said, gesturing to the book as the other three laughed.

“What a waste of fruitcake,” Lily sighed, and Sirius gaped at her, disgusted.

“ _Why_ would you eat _fruit_ cake?” he asked, bewildered

“It’s _good_ ,” she said defensively

“No it’s not!” he squeaked, “Why would you merge something as _mouth watering_ as cake with something as _healthy_ as fruit?” he asked, clearly offended by the very idea of fruitcake.

“I like fruitcake,” she said, crossing her arms.

“You disgust me,” Sirius said, and she grinned

“You disgust me too Sirius,” she said sweetly, and Sirius’s mouth twitched as James and Remus chortled.

**“On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry.”**

“Whoa,” James said, eyebrows high on his forehead.

“Hogwarts must be getting desperate,” Remus mused

“Of course, he’s _my_ son, after all,” James said, puffing his chest out, and Sirius snorted

“I’m sure that’s why they want him,” he assured James sarcastically

“Thank you,” James said, taking the sarcasm in his stride.

**“As they couldn't go through the mail slot they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom.”**

“And he thought that sealing the mail slot would work,” Lily muttered

“Hey,” Sirius said, “our minds work in strange ways, remember?” he asked, and Lily shook her head, laughing.

“Bloody strange,” James nodded, “Why shoves letters into a bathroom?” he asked.

“Well, some people enjoy having things to do when taking a dump,” Sirius said, and Lily choked.

“That’s disgusting,” Lily said bluntly

“What! Why?” Remus asked, turning to her.

“Why would you want to stay in there any longer than you have to?” she asked, and Sirius shrugged

“It’s calming, apparently,” eh said, looking at Remus, who flushed darkly. Lily looked up at the ceiling, not wanting to look at Remus.

**“Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. After burning all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out.”**

“Does he realize he’s just locked himself in the house?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged

“All the more food for him to eat,” she sung

“Yes, but eventually they’ll run out! And they’ll all _starve_ ,” Sirius said dramatically.

“That’s the worst way to go,” James said sarcastically

“It _is!_ ” Sirius said, clutching his stomach.

**“He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises.”**

“Paranoid,” Sirius sung, and Lily grinned

“What? No fat jokes?” she asked, and Sirius frowned at her

“There wasn’t one in there!” he protested, and Lily snorted

“The song? You could say that he enjoyed humming it because he couldn’t tiptoe to save his life,” she said, and Sirius’s jaw dropped as James and Remus snickered, “And him jumping? You could say that the neighbours would jump in fright at the sound of the earthquake,” she said, and Sirius hid his face, ashamed.

“I think Lily just beat you Sirius,” Remus said, grinning at the ashamed Sirius.

“I’m never coming out of here again!” he whined, his voice muffled.

**“On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window.”**

“TWENTY-FOUR?” James yelled, bewildered.

“Hogwarts is going insane,” Remus said, and James nodded vigorously

“Do you think they’d keep sending letters of either of our parents hadn’t let us read it?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head

“Doubt it, this is the famous Harry Potter,” she said, “Who’s orphaned and lives with a family who hate magic,” she explained, “They probably prioritize him.”

“Also, he’s the savior of the world,” Remus said, “They want him at Hogwarts”

“So they can train him to kick some evil butt,” Sirius finished, and Lily giggled

“That poor milk man,” she said sympathetically, and the boys chuckled

“Why?” James asked

“Well, I wouldn’t want to go anywhere near that house,” she shuddered, “And he has to deliver _food_ to them,” she said.

“I bet they’re his best customers,” Sirius said cheekily.

**“While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor.”**

“I love how he’s just trying to find someone to complain to when he _knows_ it hasn’t come from them,” James said, smiling humorlessly.

“Why would you call the dairy?” Sirius asked.

“Well, the milkman delivered some,” Lily explained, and Sirius nodded in understanding.

**“"Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.”**

“That’s rude,” Lily said bluntly.

“People would _love_ to talk to him!” Sirius said defiantly, “I would!”

“Yes, but we don’t know where you are,” James said irritably.

“I hope he reads a letter soon!” Sirius whined, and James sighed, patting Sirius’s shoulder sympathetically. 

**“On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy, "No post on Sundays,"”**

“I don’t think that applies to Hogwarts mate,” Sirius said in a faux sympathetic tone.

“It doesn’t,” James assured him, grinning happily

“I think he’s lost his mind,” Sirius said to Lily, who laughed.

“When did he have it?” she teased, and Sirius grinned at her as James gasped.

**“he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today -" Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head.”**

“Nice shot!” Remus cheered, grinning like a fool.

“I hope it hurt,” James sighed dreamily.

“He has definitely gone insane,” Sirius said to Remus, who nodded worriedly.

**“Next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets.”**

“Thirty or forty?” James gasped

“We get it James, Hogwarts is sending a lot of letters,” Sirius said, but disbelief was plain on his features.

“That’s amazing,” Lily gasped.

“What’s a bullet?” Remus asked curiously, and all three boys turned to Lily

“Er, well, muggles have weapons called guns, which shoot bullets,” she explained vaguely; she had never been a gun girl, “they’re really fast,” she said, “Which is probably what the books referring to,” she said, and the boys nodded, fascinated.

**“The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one.”**

“Catch one!” James urged, sitting forward, alert.

“Come _on_ Harry!” Lily urged.

**“"Out! OUT!" Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall.”**

Lily gasped, “How _dare_ he! He’s throwing him around like he’s some sort of rag doll!” she yelled angrily.

“Around the _waist_ ,” James gasped in disbelief, “He can be arrested for child abuse!”

“Hopefully Harry’s out of there soon,” Remus murmured, his eyes glinting dangerously.

**“When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces”**

“They’re just pieces of paper!” Sirius said indignantly, as Lily chuckled

“She doesn’t want anything harming her oh so beautiful face,” she said sarcastically, and the boys laughed

“You’re cruel, you know that?” James said, and Lily nodded, shrugging.

“She does the same to me,” she shrugged, and James bit his lip.

**“Uncle Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor, "That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his mustache at the same time.”**

“He’s _pulling out the mustache_?” Sirius asked, bewildered but amused.

“So it’s just, falling out?” James squeaked, his voice shaking with laughter.

“Can you imagine?” Sirius asked, turning to James, his face bright red with strain, “someone pulling out their mustache?”

“Honestly you two,” Lily laughed, “You make such a big deal out of everything,” she chuckled, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“It _is_ a big deal! How often do _you_ see people pull out their mustache?” he challenged, and Lily rolled her eyes, amused.

**““I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!" He looked so dangerous with half his mustache missing that no one dared argue.”**

“How can someone look _dangerous,_ of all things, with half a mustache?” Remus asked, and Lily giggled

“They probably feared the rest of it would fall on them,” she chuckled, and the boys burst out laughing

“You really can be cruel,” James said, and Lily grinned at him.

“Where do you suppose they’re going?” Sirius mused

“I don’t think they have any idea,” Remus answered honestly.

**“Ten minutes later”**

“I thought he said five?” Sirius challenged.

**“they had wrenched their way through the boarded-up doors and were in the car, speeding toward the highway.**

**Dudley was sniffling in the back seat; his father had hit him round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag.”**

“Stupid kid,” Lily muttered, “It wouldn’t have worked anyway,” she said, and James chuckled

“That’s probably why Chubby is mad,” he said, and Lily laughed

“Chubby?” she asked, and James nodded.

“If he’s Chubby, what’s Dudley?” Sirius asked, grinning.

“Pudge,” James said simply, and they burst out laughing

“Chubby and Pudge?” Remus asked, amused.

“Yep,” James said, grinning as Lily giggled.

**“They drove. And they drove. Even Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask where they were going.”**

“And that’s saying something,” Lily warned, and Sirius chuckled

“I’m scared,” he assured her, and Lily rolled her eyes as the others laughed

“I’m sure, she can be frightening,” she said sarcastically.

“I could take her,” Sirius snorted, “I have a wand.”

“She has nails,” Lily said, and Sirius gasped

“Drat. Then there’s absolutely _no_ way I can beat her,” he said in a defeated tone, and Lily laughed.

**“Every now and then Uncle Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a while, "Shake'em off... shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this.”**

“He’s losing his mind,” James said, smiling happily

“You shouldn’t be so happy about that,” Remus said in a hushed tone, “He’s driving the car.”

“Oh Merlin!” James exclaimed sarcastically, “Harry! Get out while you still can!”

“If they abandoned Harry on the side of ht eroad, would a Hogwarts letter find him?” Sirius asked, and Lily bit her lip

“I hope they don’t,” she said worriedly

“I doubt they will,” James said soothingly, and Lily instantly calmed down, “And I think it would,” he said

“Wonder how it’d be addressed,” Sirius sniggered.

“Mr. H. Potter, Side of the Street, Middle of Nowhere,” Remus said dramatically, and they laughed.

“That’s such a depressing thought,” Lily said morosely, and both James and Sirius shot Remus nasty looks.

“Lily,” James said soothingly, “They wont abandon him,” he said confidently. Lily looked at him for a second before sighing and relaxing

“I guess you’re right,” she mumbled.

**“They didn't stop to eat or drink all day.”**

“Dudley’s going to be a pain, isn’t he?” Lily asked, and the boys grinned

“Are you suggesting that he’s fat?” Sirius teased

“I don’t need to suggest,” Lily said, grinning at Sirius, who burst out laughing.

**“By nightfall Dudley was howling.”**

“I told you so,” Lily said to no-one in particular.

“Brilliant prediction Lily,” James said, grinning cheekily

“I wonder how you saw that coming,” Remus teased, imitating James’s tone.

“I mean, we did get signs that he was a prat, but I wouldn’t have deciphered that,” Sirius said, clutching his heart.

“I guess _I’m_ Supreme Master now,” Lily said, grinning at Sirius, who gasped as his friends laughed at him.

**“He'd never had such a bad day in his life.”**

“Well its about time you were introduced to the real world, Pudge,” Sirius said, grinning at James, who winked at the use of his nickname.

“I feel bad for your children,” Lily said bluntly, looking at Sirius, who gasped

“Lily!” he squeaked, as Remus and James sniggered

“What?” she said defensively, “You’re going to be ruthless!”

“Well, someone has to teach them of the hardships of life!” he said, “Otherwise they’ll end up like Prongs here,” he said, gesturing to James, who raised his eyebrows

“And how’s that?” James asked

“A spoilt snobby rich kid,” he said cheekily, grinning at James, who rolled his eyes playfully, and turned to Remus.

**“He was hungry, he'd missed five television programs he'd wanted to see, and he'd never gone so long without blowing up an alien on his computer.”**

“What a pleasant child,” Sirius said dreamily, and Lily laughed.

“I want to blow up aliens!” she squealed

“Really?” James asked incredulously

“I’m not _boring_ ,” she said, and James smiled slightly

“Thank Merlin, otherwise he’d have to give up on pranking!” Remus gasped, as if that were a crime beyond all crimes.

“Why would he have to give up pranking?” Lily asked.

“Well, he obviously cant give up on _you_ ,” he said, and James flushed deep maroon.

“Just read,” he said, embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as Sirius howled with laughter and Lily bit her lip, trying not to laugh.

**“Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city.”**

“Well, that sounds incredibly safe,” James commented sarcastically.

“Perfect vacationing spot,” Sirius agreed, and Remus snorted.

**“Dudley and Harry shared a room”**

“Sorry mate,” Sirius said, saluting.

“May Merlin be with you,” James said solemnly

“Are you _always_ this ridiculous?” Lily asked, her voice shaking with restrained laughter.

“Yes,” Sirius said bluntly

“Especially if we’re woken up early,” James said, winking at Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him.

**“with twin beds and damp, musty sheets.”**

Lily shuddered.

“Aren’t you a right little princess?” Sirius asked, grinning at Lily, who shuddered again

“Musty, I can handle,” she said, “But _damp_?” she squeaked, “Why are they damp? How could you _possibly_ sleep with damp sheets?” she asked, her voice rising in pitch by the question.

“Hush Lily,” Remus said, making calming motions with his hands.

**“Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering...”**

“Wondering what?” Sirius asked curiously

“Well, doesn’t look like we’ll ever find out,” Remus said irritably, as he looked at he next line

“Well that’s just irritating!” Sirius said angrily, “Who wrote this book?” he asked angrily.

“J.K. Rowling,” Remus said, scanning the cover of the book.

“I don’t like her,” Sirius mumbled, and James grinned.

**“They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day.”**

“That sounds absolutely revolting,” said Lily, a green tinge to her face

“Are you okay?” James asked, concerned

“She just can’t imagine going to a hotel like that,” Remus chuckled, and Lily shook her head, horrified.  
“Let’s go eat some breakfast,” Sirius said happily, and Lily frowned at him

“ _How_ can you eat breakfast after hearing something like that?” she asked incredulously, and Sirius shrugged

“Food is food,” he said simply.

**“They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table.**

**"'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter. Only I got about an 'undred of these at the front desk." She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address:**

**_Mr. H. Potter_ **

**_Room 17_ **

**_Railview Hotel_ **

**_Cokeworth”_ **

“Well, now we know where the hotel is!” Sirius said happily, “Up for a vacation Lily?” he asked, and Lily threw him a scathing look

“I doubt that hotel even exists right now,” she said, and Sirius cocked his head to the side

“It’s odd, reading about the future,” he said, and Lily nodded, frowning slightly at Sirius’s sudden change in tone

“We’re going to get him checked,” Remus said to her, and Lily laughed as Sirius threw Remus a crude gesture.

“A HUNDRED?” James squeaked, and Remus nodded in disbelief, “This is getting out of hand! They should just let him open a bloody letter,” he said, and Lily grinned

“Did you _just_ realize that?” she asked, and James flushed

“No, but it’s becoming glaringly obvious,” he said, and Lily laughed.

**“Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared, "I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.”**

“OH no you wont!” James said angrily, pushing himself up.

“What are you going to do? Jinx the book?” Lily asked, and James ignored her.

“Well, if he does, we wont know what happens, so I hope he doesn’t,” Remus said, and James huffed, flopping back down on the sofa.

“I’m just angry at him,” James mumbled, and Remus looked at him sympathetically

“Hey, at least now that you know, you can prevent him from doing this to Harry,” he said cheerfully, and James nodded, brightening.

**“”Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her. Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew.”**

“A good restaurant,” Sirius declared, and the others snorted

“Do you ever stay quiet?” Lily asked, and Sirius shook his head

**“He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again.”**

“Because there are no restaurants in the forest,” James said, and Sirius grinned at him

“See!” he said, turning to Lily, “Your husband-to-be agrees with me!”

**“The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage.**

**"Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon.”**

“Yes Dudley, he has,” Remus said, and the others chuckled

“Honestly, _what_ is he doing?” Lily asked curiously.

“I have no idea,” James said honestly

“And you think he’d know too,” Sirius laughed, nudging James, “He’s the king of strange,” he said, and Lily laughed as James shoved Sirius.

**“Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared.”**

“That sounds terrifying,” Sirius shuddered.

“What does?” Remus asked curiously.

“Being trapped in a car,” Sirius said

“Cars are perfectly safe,” Lily said, and Sirius shrugged

“With Petunia and Pudge?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling.

“Yeah, that sounds dangerous,” she assured him, and the boys chuckled.

**“It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley sniveled.”**

“Aw, is little Pudge afraid of the rain?” James cooed sarcastically.

“You realize he’s only a little bit older than Harry, right?” Remus asked, and James turned to him irritably

“So?” he asked, “Snape is the same age as us,” he said, and Remus bit his lip

“Fine,” he allowed, and James grinned. He froze suddenly and turned to Lily, who was looking at the ceiling.

“Erm, sorry,” he said, and Lily turned to him

“Why?” she asked

“Well, I just badmouthed Snape,” he said, and Lily shrugged

“He deserves to be bad mouthed,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“Wicked. So I can talk about how he needs to wash his hair around you?” he asked, and Lily chuckled.

“I don’t care,” she said honestly, but James shook his head at Sirius anyway.

**“"It's Monday," he told his mother, "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a television."”**

“Honestly!” James said irritably, “You can survive without watching a brainless television show!” he said.

“How do you even know what television is?” Lily asked, and James shrugged

“I took Muggle Studies in third year,” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“Why?” she asked incredulously, and James flushed

“Er, no reason,” he squeaked

“He was trying to impress you,” Sirius stage whispered to Lily, who flushed as James shoved Sirius.

**“Monday. This reminded Harry of something. If it was Monday - and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days the week, because of television - then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday.”**

“What’s the date?” James asked desperately

“Seems like all Dudley’s useful for is knowing the days of the week,” Remus mused to himself, and Sirius chuckled

“And for general amusement,” he said, and Remus grinned.

“Of course,”

“Does it tell us the date, Remus?” Lily asked curiously, and Remus shook his head, “Drat!”

**“Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun”**

“That’s not fair! Birthdays are supposed to be fun!” James said, a crazed look in his eye

“What’s up with him?” Lily asked Sirius quietly

“James loves his birthday,” Sirius explained, “Favorite day of the year,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“Really?” she laughed, nad Sirius nodded, “I thought that was Christmas?”

“How would you know?” he asked curiously, a mischievous twinkle in his eye

“Well, he does walk around dressed up like bloody Santa Claus every year, laughing merrily,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“Right,” he said, and shuddered, “You realize he’s going to do that this holiday, right?” he asked, and Lily groaned.

“I’ll have to hide,” she said, and Sirius laughed

“What about when you two get married?” he asked

“Well, then he wont be allowed,” she said sternly, and Sirius snorted

“You may have a lot of influence over him, love, but not _that_ much,” he said solemnly, and Lily whimpered.

**“- last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks.”**

“That’s _terrible_!” James said, looking genuinely offended, as if they had given _him_ a coat hanger and a pair of old socks

“I wonder how big those socks are,” Sirius grinned.

“They’re _socks_ Sirius,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, “It’s not like they gave him old pants or anything.”

“Wouldn’t _that_ be interesting,” Sirius grinned, and Remus shook his head fondly as Lily and James laughed.

**“Still, you weren't eleven every day.”**

“Too right you are,” Remus said, grinning.

“Hear Hear!” Sirius said, holding arm up in a salute.

**“Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling.”**

“Run, run for your life,” James said worriedly, and they laughed

“Was it a creepy smile?” Remus asked.

“Sounds creepy,” Sirius said, and Remus shuddered.

“Maybe they should hijack the car?” Lily suggested, and the boys grinned.

“Then poor old Chubby would starve!” James gasped.

“He has enough fat on him to survive for a while,” Sirius said, waving his hand off, grinning

**“He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought.”**

“Now I’m _actually_ afraid,” Sirius said worriedly, “What _is_ that?”

“I bet it’s a stick, so he and Dudley can fight,” Remus said, and Lily laughed

“I doubt it,” she said, shaking her head amusedly, “I bet it’s a spit, to fry food,” she said, and James laughed

“Or it’s a walking stick,” he said, “He’s so fat he cant support his own weight,” he said, winking at Sirius, who howled with laughter

“Well done!” Sirius exclaimed happily, clapping James on the back.

**“"Found the perfect place!" he said, "Come on! Everyone out!" It was very cold outside the car. Uncle Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out at sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine.”**

“I bet I can show you an even miserabler one,” Remus said quietly, and both Sirius and James chortled

“What?” Lily asked curiously, and they looked at her uncertainly

“Sorry Lily, this is one thing we can’t tell you,” James said, and Lily shrugged.

“Why are they going there?” Sirius asked, “One gust of wind and the thing would collapse!”

“Yes, but apparently it’s somewhere _magical_ folk cant send letters,” Lily said in a serious tone, and the boys grinned.

“I found an even better vacation spot than that hotel,” Remus said, grinning at Lily, who shuddered, predictably.

“ **One thing was certain, there was no television in there.”**

“This kid is hilarious,” Remus laughed, as Lily and James grinned at each other,

“At least he knows how to make the best of a bad situation,” Lily agreed, grinning stupidly.

“Why are you so deliriously happy?” Sirius asked

“Well, if it were me, I’d be whining and crying by now,” she said, “At least he’s making it worth the while,” she said.

“He gets that from me,” James said happily, and both his friends rolled their eyes, but did not disagree.

**“"Storm forecast for tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together.”**

“Oh, that sounds bloody fantastic,” said Sirius, a worried expression on his face

“I hope the shack doesn’t collapse,” Remus said worriedly

“Fingers crossed,” James said, “Well, if it collapses, at least let Harry stay outside,” he said, and Lily threw a pillow at him, “What?” he asked

“These people feed Harry, don’t let them die…yet,” she said, and then sighed, “Never mind I don’t want them to die,” she said sadly, and the boys exchanged guilty expressions

“Your moods change faster than mine do,” Sirius mused, breaking the silence, and Lily burst out laughing.

“That’s saying something,” she winked, and Sirius grinned at her.

**“"And this gentleman's kindly agreed to lend us his boat!" A toothless old man came ambling up to them, pointing, with a rather wicked grin, at an old rowboat bobbing in the iron-gray water below them.”**

“That doesn’t sound safe,” Lily said, and the boys shrugged

“We’ve seen worse,” Sirius shrugged

“I don’t want to know,” Lily said.

“Well, no matter how safe the boat is, it’s still possible to fall into the water,” James said.

“He would know,” Remus said, nodding at James, “Remember in first year? When he leaned over the edge of those boats taking us up to school to ask you out, and fell in?” he asked, and Lily laughed at the memory

“That was frightening, I had no idea what he was doing,” she said.

“That would be scary,” Sirius laughed, “Some bloke just leaning in your direction looking at you, and falling into the water,” he said, and James chuckled.

“Sorry,” he said, and Lily laughed it off.

**“"I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!" It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces.”**

“That actually sounds really nice,” Sirius said, cocking his head to the side.

“Really?” James asked skeptically

“Yeah! Wind in your hair, sea spray in your face, sounds like they’re living the dream,” he sighed, and James frowned, thinking

“That actually does sound rather nice,” he said, and Lily shook her head

“They’re _freezing_ ,” she said, “It’s cold, they’re hungry, and they’re heading to a weak shack,” she said, and both James and Sirius instantly straightened up

“You’re right,” James said

“Not the ideal vacation,” Sirius added.

**“After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and sliding, led the way to the broken-down house.”**

“Oh I’d _love_ for him to fall! Just once!” Sirius begged, and Remus snorted

“If he did, the shack would come tumbling down and they’d have nowhere to live,” Remus said, and Sirius sighed

“Let Harry leave first,” he said, and James grinned

**“The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty. There were only two rooms.”**

“Ready for a vacation Lily?” Remus asked, clapping his hands, and Lily’s nose scrunched as the boys laughed at her.

“I’m good, thanks, you go,” she said, and the boys shook their heads vigorously

“We may be Mischief Titans, but that’s too radical,” James said, and Sirius snorted

“Radical?” he asked, and James nodded

“Radical.”

**“Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas. He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shriveled up.”**

“Stupid of him,” James laughed

“Honestly, how could a _plastic_ bag of chips start a fire?” Remus asked

“Honestly, he would die going on a camping trip,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“He cant fend for himself, I’d love to see him camp,” she grinned, and the boys laughed.

**“"Could do with some of those letters now, eh?" he said cheerfully.**

**He was in a very good mood. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of reaching them here in a storm to deliver mail. Harry privately agreed, though the thought didn't cheer him up at all.”**

“Don’t believe him Harry! It’s not true!” Lily said, and Sirius nodded

“Hogwarts will find a way!” he said.

“Well, if they’re sending a hundred letters to a hotel, they better find a way to reach him,” James said, and Lily shook her head.

“You’re never going to get over that, are you?” she asked, and James shook his head, grinning.

“It’ll stay with me for the rest of my life,” he assured her, and she sighed.

“At least I know you’ll give him the letter the first time,” she muttered, and Sirius and Remus chuckled.

“You never know, love,” Sirius said, “He might hold it from Harry as long as possible to see if Hogwarts actually _does_ send a hundred letters,” he said, and Lily turned to glare at James

“I wont, I swear,” he said, but there was a hint of regret in his tone.

**“As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. Spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa.”**

“So Lily,” James interrupted, turning to her, “Moldy blankets, or damp sheets?” he asked, and Lily shuddered in disgust.

“Neither,” she said, but James shook his head

“You _have_ to answer,” he said, and Lily groaned

“But they’re both disgusting!” she protested, and James smiled wickedly, “You’re terrible,” she told him, and he shrugged, “I’d have to go with…moldy blankets,” she said, and James gasped

“Really?” he asked, “I was expecting you to go with damp sheets!”

“Well, I can throw the blanket off,” she said, “I have to sleep _on_ the sheets,” she said, and James sighed

“You have a point,” he said, and she grinned.

**“She and Uncle Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, and Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket.”**

“But he’s a child!” Remus said indignantly, “That’s terrible!”

“I agree,” Lily said angrily, “You don’t do that to children!”

“Well, they are just tiny humans,” Sirius said, but trailed off as three sets of shocked and annoyed eyes turned to him, “I was kidding?” he said weakly

**“The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger.”**

“My poor baby,” Lily cooed.

“Are you guys going to tell him about this?” Sirius asked curiously, “About the life he could have had?”

“Probably,” James said, and Lily nodded.

“It’d be interesting to see how he’d react,” she said.

“Wait till he’s old enough,” Remus said, and Lily laughed

“It’s not bedtime story material,” she teased, and Remus grinned as James and Sirius laughed.

**“Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist,”**

“Why are you laughing Sirius?” James asked, as Sirius’s body shook with laughter

“Even his _wrists_ are fat,” he choked, and James chuckled, shaking his head, as Lily and Remus laughed.

“I wonder how the watch doesn’t cut off circulation,” James said, and Sirius burst into even more fits of laughter.

“What is _wrong_ with you?” Remus asked, bewildered, but amused.

“I think it’s the earliness,” James said, and Remus nodded

“So this is my fault?” Lily said bluntly, and the two boys nodded as Sirius attempted to catch his breath, “Bloody brilliant.”

**“told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time.”**

“Can we stay up for my birthday this year?” Sirius asked, and James turned to him, bewildered

“Why?” James asked

“I want to do magic _the second_ I turn seventeen,” he said, and James sighed

“Fine,” he mumbled, and Sirius grinned happily

**“He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.”**

“Sending you more letters,” James said confidently, and Remus smiled at his friends’ childlike behaviour

“What if they can’t get to him?” Remus teased, and James shook his head

“Not a chance,” he said confidently, and Remus turned to Lily, who was smiling at James.

**“Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did.”**

“Doubt it, little mate,” Sirius said, “Then you’d be cold _and wet_ ,” he said, and Lily nodded vigorously.

**“Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow.”**

“Doubt it,” Remus said, “If letters got to the hotel, nobody’s sending letters there anymore.”

**“Three minutes to go. Was that the sea, slapping hard on the rock like that? And (two minutes to go) what was that funny crunching noise? Was the rock crumbling into the sea?”**

“It’s possible, didn’t Vernon fall on it?” Lily asked, and the boys burst out laughing

“He only slipped,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged

“Maybe his weight sliced it?” she suggested, and the boys laughed.

“You really are weird in the morning,” James commented, and Lily grinned dreamily.

**“One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds... twenty ... ten...  nine - maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him”**

“YOU SHOULD!” Sirius urged, grinning happily

“He might kill him,” Remus said warily, and Sirius shrugged

“He’s fast, remember?” he said, and Remus grinned.

**“- three... two...  one...  BOOM.”**

“Merlin Moony! You don’t have to _yell!_ ” James hissed, covering his ears

“I was _not_ expecting that,” Lily muttered, glaring at Remus, who was grinning, proud of himself.

**“The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.”**

“WHO?” Sirius asked, jumping up and down

“WHO?” James asked, crawling over to Remus, who held the book above his head

“I don’t know!” Remus squeaked, “that’s the end of the chapter!”

“ _What_?” Sirius squeaked, “B-but that _cant_ be!”

“It is,” Remus said, showing Sirius the book

“That’s so annoying!” James whined, and Remus nodded sympathetically.

“We’ll find out in the next chapter,” Lily said soothingly

“What’s the next chapter?” James as Remus, wide eyed

“ **Chapter Four: The Keeper of the Keys”**

“THAT’S HAGRID!” James yelled gleefully, as Lily and Remus grinned in anticipation.

“The next chapter is going to be fantastic,” Lily said happily.

“Let’s read it _now!_ ” Sirius whined, turning to Lily with huge puppy-dog eyes

“I don’t know about you, but I want to eat breakfast,” she said, and Sirius’s eyes widened.

“I forgot about food AGAIN?” he asked, bewildered, “What is _with_ this?” he asked nobody in particular.

Lily giggled and got up from the armchair, and waved to them, before skipping out of the Common Room to go to the Great Hall, “Come on!” she said, gesturing to the boys. James, who was dressed in normal clothes, got up and walked after her, and she started chatting animatedly, much to his surprise and pleasure.

“She is _definitely_ loopy in the morning,” Sirius muttered, and Remus nodded, throwing the book down on the sofa and following after them.

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**Hey! There’s the next chapter! Hope you liked it! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!**

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	5. The Keeper of the Keys

**Hey guys! Hope you enjoy the chapter (: I bet the story’s going to be a lot more entertaining, now that the magical world is involved**

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**Disclaimer: I don’t own much, but I do own Lily, James, Sirius and Remus’s side of this story.**

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Lily watched in disgust as Sirius, James and Remus stuffed their faces with sausages and bacon.

“How can you _eat_ at a time like this?” she asked incredulously

“Breakfast?” Sirius asked stupid.

“You’re supposed to eat at breakfast,” James said, and Lily shook her head irritably

“A time like what?” Remus asked, and Lily huffed, crossing her arms

“Never mind,” she mumbled, and the boys shrugged it off.

“Were you referring to the time in _Harry’s_ life?” James asked, suddenly looking up from his breakfast.

“Er, no,” she said, flushing, hiding behind a curtain of her hair

“You were!” James gasped, grinning.

“Just, shut up and eat,” she said angrily, standing up, “I’m going upstairs,” she said, and turned on her heel, walking out of the Great Hall, “ _Evanescence,”_ she said to the Fat Lady, who smiled serenely and swung open. Lily walked into the room and grabbed the book, throwing herself onto her favourite armchair, the book cradled to her chest.

That was how the boys found her ten minutes later.

“Have you just been sitting there?” James asked, sitting on the end of the sofa closet to Lily, which did not go unnoticed by his friends, who sniggered, causing him to flush.

“Yeah,” Lily said, “Who’s reading?” she asked, turning to the three boys, who had seated themselves.

“I want to read!” Sirius said, holding up his hand, and Lily sighed.

“I’ll do it,” James said, and Lily threw him a warning look before tossing him the book

**“Chapter Four: The Keeper of the Keys”**

“What?” Sirius whined, “Why can’t I read?” he asked. Lily ignored him and turned to James, “LILY!” Sirius hissed, and she turned to him

“What?”

“Why can’t I read?”

“Because, I don’t like the sound of your voice,” Lily said, and both James and Remus bit back their laughter as Sirius looked at her, bewildered, and for the first time, speechless.

“ **BOOM.”**

“James!” Remus squeaked, holding his heart, “You didn’t need to _yell_.”

“Did I scare you?” James teased, and Remus looked away, “Lily?” he asked, and Lily slowly turned to throw him a loathing look

“Yes, you scared me,” she said, and James chuckled happily.

“That’s really mean,” Remus said, and James shrugged, before he burst out laughing.

“What?” Lily asked, turning around, to see Sirius hiding in the sofa, his butt stuck up in the air.

“Did I scare you?” James laughed, and Sirius sat up slowly, glaring at James as Remus and Lily joined him in hysterics.

“That was really mean,” Sirius said bluntly, “I hate you.”

“My apologies,” James said faux sincerely

“We cant be best mates anymore,” Sirius said, crossing his arms sternly

“Fine,” James shrugged, “I don’t need you! I’ll get a new best mate,” he said.

“DIBS ON REMUS!” Sirius yelled, and James swore.

“That’s not fair!” he yelled

“Life’s not fair,” Sirius winked, before grinning at Remus, who sighed.

“I think you should let Remus decide,” Lily said, and the two boys turned to Remus.

“I pick…” he said, looking between James and Sirius, “Peter,” he said finally, and both the boys’ jaws dropped open as Lily burst out laughing.

“PETE?” Sirius asked, incredulously

“You chose Wormtail, over me?” James asked skeptically

“You heard me,” Remus shrugged.

“Fine, you know what, we don’t need him Prongs,” Sirius said, turning to James, “We’ll be best mates,”

“Yes, we will,” James said, and stuck his tongue out at Remus, who shook his head fondly.

“Now that that’s settled…” Lily said in a choked voice, and James turned back to the book.

**“They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake. "Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly.”**

Sirius snorted, “He’s a genius,” he said sarcastically, and Lily laughed

“Wonder what he was dreaming,” she mused.

“I love this game!” James said happily

“We play it a lot,” Remus explained to the confused Lily, “Peter talks in his sleep.”

“Really?” Lily laughed, “Well I’ll sit back and listen, then. Since you guys are professionals, and all,” she said, grinning at James and Sirius, who were practically expanding with pride.

“Well, the key word in this is cannon,” Sirius said, and James nodded.

“And since he’s searching for it, I’d say he was in the middle of a battle,” he said, and Sirius nodded.

“Well, he could be looking for it because he needed it?” Remus suggested

“Yes, but if the knock triggered the question, then it obviously fired,” James said logically, and Remus nodded.

“Touché.”

“So, what kind of battle would require a cannon?” Sirius asked, and the boys frowned

“Pirates?” Lily suggested, and they gasped.

“Brilliant!” Sirius exclaimed.

“So he was having the classic pirate dream?” Remus asked, and James grinned

“The classic pirate battle dream,” he said.

“Well done gentleman,” Sirius said, clapping his hands, “And lady,” he said, winking at Lily, who grinned.

“ **There was a crash behind them and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room.”**

“FAT JOKE!” Sirius yelled, and Lily groaned, as James and Remus laughed

“How about we count?” James suggested eagerly, and Sirius grinned

“Yes! Okay, so this is fat joke number one,” he said in a formal tone, and Lily giggled.

“Are you going to _make_ the joke, or just count places where it’s possible?” she asked, but it was Remus who answered.

“He doesn’t even need to _make_ a joke this time,” he said, rolling his eyes, that’s a joke in itself,” he said, gesturing to the book in James’s hand, and James chuckled

“I agree with Remus, but a joke is required,” he said, and Sirius nodded seriously.

“Have no fear,” Sirius said, holding his hands up dramatically

“Fear of what?” Lily asked, and Sirius shrugged

“Of fat jokelessness,” he said, and Lily snorted at his made up word.

“Yes, we know it’s not a word,” Remus said, grinning at Lily, who laughed good-heartedly.

“At least we know there’s always a joke,” Lily said dramatically, placing her hand on her heart

“Anything for a damsel in distress,” Sirius said cheekily, and Lily’s eyes narrowed

“I am _not_ a damsel in distress,” she said, and James laughed

“I agree with her on this one,” he said, holding up his hand, and Sirius snorted

“Fine,” he mumbled, “Anything for the lady, then,” he said, “Unless you want to argue that you’re not a lady,” he said, raising his eyebrows at Lily in a very McGonagall manner.

“Nope, I’m good,” she said, and Sirius grinned as James threw him a disapproving, yet amused, look.

“ **He was holding a rifle in his hands”**

“What’s that?” Sirius asked, interrupting James, and turning ot Lily

“It’s a gun,” she said, and Remus whistled

“The thing that shoots bullets?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded

“Isn’t that ridiculously dangerous?” James asked, glaring at the book, and Lily nodded again, “He has one of those around, with Harry in the house?”

“You can barely call it a house,” Remus muttered, and James rolled his eyes

“Fine, shack, whatever,” he said, “What was he planning on doing with it?” he squeaked, and Lily’s eyes widened

“He was _not_ going to do anything to Harry,” she said sternly, and James sniffed irritably, “James, if they’ve kept him for eleven years, and if Petunia is my sister, I promise you that they will _not_ do that,” she said, with an air of finality.

“Fine,” James mumbled, and turned the page.

**“-now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.”**

“Oh, so it wasn’t a stick,” Sirius said dejectedly, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other boys laughed.

“Turns out he _can_ support his own weight without a walking stick,” James said disappointedly.

“Why would he even think he needed a gun?” Remus asked, bewildered

“Well, he is in the wild, or whatever,” Lily said, waving her hand, “He probably thought there was something he’d need to murder brutally,” she said, and James chuckled.

“He’s not _you_ ,” James teased, “He wont murder _all_ the creepy crawlies,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as his friends laughed at her.

“Well, they deserve to die,” she said, “If I _ever_ find a bug in my house, I might actually die,” she said, and James rolled his eyes

“Bad thing that you’re marrying James then,” Remus said, “Crumbs. Everywhere,” he said, and Lily shuddered violently.

“Really?” she whined, turning to James, who flushed.

“Er, sorry,” he said, and Lily huffed angrily.

**“"Who's there?" he shouted.”**

“Your worst nightmare,” Sirius said in a deep raspy voice, and Lily laughed.

**“"I warn you - I'm armed!"”**

“We all have arms,” Sirius said, and James groaned.

“That was _really_ bad,” he said, shaking his head

“Lily doesn’t seem to think so,” Sirius said, gesturing ot Lily, who was shaking violently from uncontrolled laughter

“Really?” Remus asked Lily, who shook her head

“It’s just _so_ bad that it’s funny,” she said through her laughter, and then burst into another fit of giggles

“That’s it, you’ve driven her over the edge,” Remus declared, turning to Sirius, who was grinning self satisfyingly.

“I deserve a trophy or something,” he said, “I broke the perfect Lily Evans!”

**“There was a pause. Then - SMASH!”**

“James!” Remus yelled, throwing a pillow at James as he started to snigger violently, “Stop!”

“Why?” James asked, wheezing with laughter, “It’s so funny!”

“It’s not funny!” Sirius said in a muffled voice, from where his face was buried in the sofa cushions.

**“The door was hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor.”**

“I wonder who would win in deafening crashes? Chubby or the door?” Sirius mused, and Remus grinned

“Fat joke number 2,” he said, and Sirius laughed

“Thank you, I forgot I had to count,” he said, turning ot James, who quirked an eyebrow at him

“I didn’t say you _had_ to,” James said

“Well, I want to,” Sirius said, and James sighed

“Then why did you say you _had_ to?” he challenged, nad Sirius shrugged

“It’s just so much easier blaming you for things,” Sirius said, and James rolled his eyes as Remus and Lily burst out laughing.

“I’d have to say that I believe Chubby would win,” Lily said, and Sirius grinned.

“I agree,” he said seriously, and turned to James, who was looking at Lily with worshipping eyes.

**“A giant of a man was standing in the doorway.”**

“HI HAGRID!” Sirius yelled, and Lily winced.

“We don’t know that it’s Hagrid yet!” she hissed, and Sirius threw her a deadpan look

“The title of the chapter as good as told us,” he said, and Lily shrugged

“Don’t give it away,” she mumbled childishly, and the boys laughed.

**“His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard, but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair.”**

“That’s a _really_ good description of Hagrid,” Remus said excitedly

“Literature excites Remus,” James said to Lily, who giggled

“Now we know what Remus does to-“

“Do _not_ finish that sentence,” Remus growled, shooting daggers at Sirius with his eyes.

“Bite me,” Sirius challenged, and burst out laughing as Remus’s eyes widened, while James shook his head amusedly.

“I don’t get it,” Lily said, and the boys shook their heads.

“Can’t tell you Lils,” James said, and Lily shrugged it off.

“Don’t call me Lils,” she said, and James grinned

“Deal with it,” he advised, and Lily gaped as Remus and Sirius snickered.

**“The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling.”**

“What a puny shack,” Remus laughed.

“Hagrids just massive,” Lily said, shaking her head.

“You have a point,” Remus chuckled.

“If this was Chubby or Pudge, I’d make a fat joke,” Sirius sighed.

“How does the fact that his head is brushing the ceiling resort to a fat joke?” James asked, bewildered

“It’s not the head brushing the ceiling bit,” Sirius said, exasperated, “It’s the ‘squeezed his way into the hut’ bit,” Sirius laughed, and James shook his head amusedly

“ **He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all.”**

Sirius laughed

“What is so funny?” Lily asked, frowning, “I see absolutely no joke in that,” she said, and James chuckled.

“I’m laughing in anticipation,” Sirius grinned, “Hagrid is going to shred them to _pieces_ ,” he said, squealing with glee.

“Yes!” Remus hissed happily, sitting up straighter

**“"Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey..."”**

Lily giggled.

“Are you laughing in anticipation too?” Sirius grinned, and Lily shook her head

“Then what’s so funny?” James asked curiously.

“You,” she said simply, and James’s eyebrows shot up, “You sound so stupid trying to talk like Hagrid,” she said, breaking into peals of laughter as Sirius and Remus joined in

“Continue reading James,” Remus laughed, sitting straighter

“No!” James whined, “She’s going to laugh at me again,” he pouted

“Of course I am,” Lily grinned, “But it would make me happy,” she said pleadingly, and James sighed, looking down at the book

“You’re diabolical,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head, and Lily grinned devilishly

“I think we’re having a bad influence on her,” Sirius said worriedly, turning to Remus, who laughed

“Good.”

**“He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear.**

**"Budge up, yeh great lump," said the stranger.”**

“I love Hagrid,” Sirius sniggered happily as the others roared with laughter

“Only he would say that,” Lily grinned, shaking her head fondly

“What?” James squeaked, “I would!”

“I don’t know,” Lily said, regarding him, “I don’t think you would,” she said, “You’re too nice,” she said, and James’s eyebrows shot up

“Should I be insulted or flattered?” he asked, turning to Sirius, who snorted

“I would be insulted,” he said

“Oh shush, it’s a compliment,” Lily said, and James grinned happily.

“Keep reading! Let’s see what else Hagrid does,” Remus said, sniggering madly.

“Remus has cracked,” Sirius declared, and James snorted in agreement.

**“Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother,”**

“Baby,” Sirius snorted

“Sirius, you’d do the same thing,” James teased, and Sirius bit his lip

“I wouldn’t hide behind my mother,” he said

“Yeah, you’d hide behind _mine_ ,” James muttered, and Sirius grinned and nodded.

**“who was crouching, terrified, behind Uncle Vernon.”**

“Fat joke number three!” Sirius declared, and they all looked at him.

“Go ahead,” James grinned

“Well, he could easily hide her, and Dudley, since he’s so wide,” he said, “Not to mention the fact that if something attacked, he’d act like rubber and just bounce it back at them,” he said, grinning happily.

“Well done,” Lily laughed, and then turned to James

“What?” he asked, bewildered

“You’re reading!” she said, and James flushed

“Oh, right,” he grinned, and Lily shook her head fondly.

“ **“An' here's Harry!" said the giant.”**

“Finally!” James sighed, “Someone who likes him,” he smiled.

“Hagrid more than likes Harry,” Sirius said, smiling.

“I bet Harry flips out,” Remus chuckled, “Some random strange giant knowing who he is,” he said, shaking his head humorously.

**“Harry looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile.”**

“I love it when Hagrid smiles,” Sirius grinned

“He just has that incredibly happy look,” James nodded, smiling slightly

“And it makes you feel happy, you know?” Sirius added dreamily.

“Like nothing can go wrong,” James sighed. Lily and Remus exchanged a bewildered glance. After a few seconds of the two boys looking dreamily at the ceiling, Lily coughed.

James and Sirius snapped out of their dreamy stupors, looked at each other, looked at Remus and Lily, flushed, and looked towards the book.

**“"Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," said the giant. "Yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh've got yet mom's eyes."”**

“Thank you Hagrid!” James said, grinning widely

“You’re significantly happier,” Remus commented

“Well, now I know he’s not going to be miserable anymore,” James said happily, and Lily smiled.

“We got the description right!” Sirius sung, grinning

“At least Harry can _finally_ talk to people,” Lily sighed, resting her head on the arm of the chair, relieved.

**“Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping noise.**

**”I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said. "You are breaking and entering!"”**

“You don’t demand things from Hagrid,” Remus laughed, shaking his head sympathetically.

“Breaking and entering,” James snorted, “Are you going to have him arrested?” he asked, smirking.

“I doubt they’d be able to arrest Hagrid,” Lily snorted, “The muggle authorities would run away,” she laughed, and the boys laughed.

“Chicken,” Sirius snorted, and Lily looked at him incredulously

“Would _you_ want to try to arrest Hagrid?” she asked, and Sirius looked down at his lap, “Exactly,” she grinned, and James and Remus sniggered at Sirius.

**“"Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune," said the giant”**

“I _love_ you Hagrid,” James squeaked, and Sirius looked at Lily, alarmed

“I bet Mr. Diggle is jealous,” Sirius whispered loudly, and Lily laughed as James threw Sirius a dirty look.

“We should run down at tell Hagrid,” Remus teased James, who flushed

“I bet he’d love to hear it,” Sirius nodded

“We can take James,” Lily giggled, “He can declare his love for Hagrid,” she said, and Remus and Sirius snorted as James flushed

“Wouldn’t you feel betrayed though?” Remus gasped sarcastically, “He is going to be your husband after all.”

“Alas,” Lily said dramatically, placing her hand daintily on her heart, “I’ll have to survive it.”

“Will you be able to?” Sirius asked faux worriedly.

“I’ll try my very hardest,” Lily sniffed, and James rolled his eyes, flushing.

**“he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent it into a knot as easily as if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room.”**

“I wish I was that strong,” Sirius sighed.

“I am,” James grinned, and Sirius snorted

“My bicep is bigger than yours,” Sirius said, and James snorted

“No it’s _not,_ ” he said.

“Yes it is!” Sirius squeaked

“Why don’t you guys prove it?” Remus suggested, and both Sirius and James looked at him

“Lily can be judge,” Sirius winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James flushed and threw Remus a pleading look.

“Lily and I will be judges,” Remus said, and James bit his lip.

“Don’t worry, she’ll still marry you when you lose,” Sirius teased, and James scoffed

“I will not lose,” he said confidently, and rolled his right sleeve up to his shoulder, and Sirius mimicked the action.

“Why are we doing this?” Lily asked, very obviously uncomfortable with the situation, “It’s ridiculous! We should read!”

“Oh take it down a notch Lily,” Sirius chuckled, “We know whats going to happen now anyway,” he said

“What?” she challenged

“Well, Harrys going to find out about Hogwarts, Hagrids going to be angry that he didn’t know anything, Chubs is going to blow a fuse because he doesn’t want Harry to go, and Hagrid will kick some butt,” he concluded, and Lily huffed. It seemed pretty accurate.

“Come on Lily!” James begged, and Lily sighed

“Fine,” she said, and got off the armchair so she was standing in front of James and Sirius, next to Remus, who’d already gotten up.

“Ready?” Sirius asked James, who nodded.

“Who do you think is going to win?” Remus whispered to Lily while James and Sirius stared each other down.

“I don’t know,” she replied honestly, “Sirius is bigger than James, but James plays Quidditch,” she said, and Remus chuckled, “What?”

“My bet’s on James,” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up. She looked from Sirius’s arms to James’s.

“Are you sure?” she whispered, and Remus nodded confidently

“five galleons?” he suggested, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I’m not that stupid,” she said, and Remus pouted, causing her to grin

“Shall we?” Remus asked, and both James and Sirius nodded. As if on some imaginary cue, they both lifted their right arms and flexed, looking back and forth between their own and their opponents’, “If you had taken that bet, I’d have five galleons,” Remus whispered, and Lily laughed.

“That’s not possible!” Sirius gasped, as James grinned happily.

“I’m sorry Sirius, you lose,” Remus said, and Sirius shook his head

“Lily?” he asked, and Lily bit her lip.

“He’s right,” she said, nodding to Remus, and Sirius’s expression fell as James’s grin broadened, “You still have nicer hair,” she assured him, and James gasped as Sirius grinned

“Fine, I can live with that,” Sirius said, and winked at the horrified James.

“That’s a lie!” James said, turning to Lily, who laughed.

“Can we just read?” she asked, and James huffed.

“If you say you like my hair better,” he said, and Lily groaned.

“I like your hair better,” she assured him, and James grinned, grabbing the book. While he wasn’t looking, Lily shook her head at Sirius, who grinned slyly. Of course, this was a lie. Lily really did like James’s hair a _lot._

**“Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.”**

“If he was a mouse, and he was trodden on, there’d be a mini explosion,” Sirius said.

“Fat joke number three,” Lily said, examining her nails, and Sirius grinned.

**““Anyway - Harry," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "a very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here - I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right."”**

“Don’t eat it,” Sirius warned, clutching his stomach, and Lily laughed

“I ate one of his rock cakes once,” she said, and the boys grimaced, “it chipped a tooth,” she said, and James snorted

“Which one?” he asked, and Lily pointed at her front tooth, “It’s not chipped!”

“I got it mended,” she said.

“James, I think we need to permanently change your accent to Hagrids,” Remus chuckled, “It’s so much more entertaining to hear you speak,” he laughed, and James threw him a nasty look.

**“From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box. Harry opened it with trembling fingers. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with ‘Happy Birthday Harry’ written on it in green icing.”**

“Aw, that’s very sweet of him,” Lily said, smiling.

“Too bad he cant eat it,” James said, and Lily shrugged

“It’s the thought that counts,” she said.

“I thought that argument wasn’t going to work anymore?” he teased, and Lily laughed

“Yes, but that was only when it came to _you_ using it,” she said, and James rolled his eyes as his friends watched the couple with smiles on their faces.

**“Harry looked up at the giant. He meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are you?"”**

“Harry!” Lily chastised.

“Someone’s following her maternal instincts,” Sirius teased, and Lily rolled her eyes

“It’s common manners! You’re supposed to say thank you when someone does something kind for you,” Lily said irritably, and James chuckled

“He never had to learn manners,” he said, and Lily waved him off.

“That’s not the point, its common sense,” she said, and James sighed

“Well, he may be lacking that, thanks to James,” Remus said, and grinned at James, who laughed.

**“The giant chuckled.**

**"True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts." He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm.”**

“Poor scrawny kid,” Sirius sighed, shaking his head, “He doesn’t stand a chance against Hagrid’s strength.”

“Neither do you,” James teased, “Didn’t he knock you to the floor with a pat on the back?”

“He doesn’t realize his own strength!” Sirius squeaked, “that _really_ hurt!”

“Your ego or your knees?” Remus teased, and Sirius jutted his chin out defensively.

“Both,” he said confidently, and Lily grinned

**““What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together, "I'd not say no ter summat stronger if yeh've got it, mind."”**

“Hagrid,” James chuckled, shaking his head

“We should buy him a load of Firewhisky for his birthday,” Sirius laughed, and James nodded, chortling.

**“His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and he snorted.”**

“Yes Hagrid!” Sirius urged, clapping, “Rip those Dursleys to shreds!”

“How is that ripping him to shreds?” James asked.

“Well, he laughed at their feeble attempts, that’s pretty shred ripping,” Sirius said, and James nodded in understanding as Lily chuckled

“Shred ripping?” she asked, and Sirius laughed.

**“He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there. It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Harry felt the warmth wash over him as though he'd sunk into a hot bath.”**

“I bet it was his wand,” James said, and Lily frowned at him

“Hagrid was expelled in his third year, his wand was snapped,” she said, and the boys chuckled

“Amateur,” Sirius muttered, and James threw him a disapproving look

“We believe that Hagrid’s wand is inside his pink umbrella,” he said, and Lily, much to their surprise, burst out laughing.

“I knew it!” she laughed, “He gets so touchy with that thing whenever we mention wands,” she said, and their eyebrows rose.

“You notice those things?” Remus asked incredulously.

“Yes,” she said simply, and the boys exchanged impressed glances.

**“The giant sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight,”**

“If _only_ it was Chubby or Pudge,” Sirius sighed

“You _could_ make a fat joke,” Lily said, and Sirius shook his head vigorously

“Not on Hagrid,” Sirius said.

“He has never ending respect for Hagrid,” Remus explained, and Lily smiled.

**“and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat: a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs, and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig from before starting to make tea.”**

“I love his coat,” Lily laughed, “He did that when I visited him last,” she said, and the boys turned to smile at her, “He just started pulling all this stuff out, stuff you would never imagine using anywhere,” she said, and the boys chuckled

“I remember once he pulled a slab of chocolate out of one of his pockets,” Sirius grinned

“Which Remus stole,” James added, and Remus flushed as the other three laughed.

“It wasn’t _stealing_ ,” he said

“Yeah mate, it was,” James said, and Remus bit his lip guiltily.

**“Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage.”**

“Oh that’s amazing,” Sirius said, shutting his eyes and taking in a deep breath

“What are you smelling?” Lily asked, and Sirius sighed

“He’s _imagining_ the aroma of the sausages,” James explained, and Lily laughed.

“I feel like one now,” Remus whined, looking out the window, “Let’s go get one from Hagrid after this chapter?”

“Why not,” Lily grinned, and Remus smiled happily.

“ **Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but as he slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker,”**

“I want one!” James whined, bouncing up and down on the sofa.

“We will get one after this chapter is over,” Lily assured him, and all the three boys grinned.

“I bet Chubs and Pudge are _fidgeting_ with desire,” Sirius barked, and Lily rolled her eyes fondly.

**“Dudley fidgeted a little.”**

“Told you!” Sirius said.

“We never denied it,” Remus laughed, and Sirius shrugged, self-satisfied.

**“Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you, Dudley." The giant chuckled darkly.**

**"Yet great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Dursley, don' worry."”**

“ _Yes_!” James laughed, punching the air.

“I cannot believe he said that to their faces,” Sirius laughed, grinning happily. He ran over to the window and looked down at Hagrids hut, and waved.

“Sirius, he can’t see you,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head humorously.

“Yes, but isn’t it the thought that counts?” Sirius chuckled, grinning at Lily, who laughed and nodded

“So it’s just me?” James asked, and Lily nodded, smiling.

**“He passed the sausages to Harry, who was so hungry he had never tasted anything so wonderful, but he still couldn't take his eyes off the giant. Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are."”**

“At least he apologized?” James squeaked, and Lily relaxed slightly, before nodding

“You’re going to be an evilly strict mother, aren’t you?” Sirius asked, and Lily grinned

“Only if the kid turns out anything like him,” she said, nodding to James, whose eyes twinkled madly.

**“The giant took a gulp of tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.”**

“He’ll never change, will he?” Lily asked and the boys laughed

“He only carries the large handkerchief around for show,” Remus chuckled, “He told us.”

**““Call me Hagrid," he said, "everyone does.”**

“That is true,” Sirius nodded, and Lily grinned

“I wonder why no-one calls him Rubeus,” Lily mused, and the boys shrugged

“It’s like calling Dumbledore Albus,” James said, and shivered slightly, “Feels wrong.”

“I see your point,” Lily said, giggling.

““ **An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts - yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course. ”**

**"Er -- no," said Harry.”**

“Here it comes!” Sirius said excitedly, as all of them looked at James eagerly. James looked around at them and flushed

“I cant read with you all looking at me like that!” he squeaked, and the others chuckled

“Learn,” Lily suggested, and both Remus and Sirius snickered

**“Hagrid looked shocked.**

**"Sorry," Harry said quickly.”**

“Ah Lily,” Remus grinned, “He’s definitely your son.”

“I know right?” she said happily, crossing her legs.

“But why is he apologizing?” Sirius squeaeked, “He didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Yeah well, it’s polite,” Lily said, and Sirius shook his head.

“I will never understand you,” he muttered, and James, the only one who heard, laughed.

**““Sorry." barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows, "It' s them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yet parents learned it all?"”**

“Come on Hagrid!” Remus said excitedly

“You tell ‘em,” Sirius laughed happily.

“Honsetly, you lot are having too much fun,” Lily said, amused, her own eyes twinkling with satisfaction

**“"All what?" asked Harry.”**

“Oh! Here it comes!” James laughed happily.

“Shut up and _read_ ,” Remus instructed, and James mock bowed at him.

**“"ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered. "Now wait jus' one second!" He had leapt to his feet. In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut.**

**The Dursleys were cowering against the wall.**

**"Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy - this boy! - knows nothin' abou' - about ANYTHING?"”**

“I hope he punches someone,” Sirius said

“That’s taking it too far,” Lily said, holding up a hand, “He might knock them out, maybe even kill them,” she said

“Yes but-“

“No,” Lily said sternly, and Sirius nodded as James shot him a warning look. It was her sister, after all.

**“Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad.”**

“He’s just like James, honestly,” Remus chuckled, and James flushed

“It’s a fair reaction!” James squeaked.

“Surprisingly, I agree with James,” Lily said, and the three boys gasped

“Lily? Agreeing with James?” Sirius gasped dramatically, clutching his heart.

“It’s the apocalypse!” Remus bellowed

“Run for your lives!” Sirius yelled, throwing his arms up.

“Honestly,” Lily said, flushing embarrassedly, as the boys erupted in splits.

**"I know some things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff."”**

“Not the same,” Lily chuckled, and James grinned

“At least he can stand up for himself,” Sirius said, grinning

“He’s going to need to,” Remus muttered, and they looked at him curiously, “You think they’re going to _let_ him go to Hogwarts?” he asked, and James shook his head

“Doesn’t matter,” he said, “Hagrids there now.”

**“But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About our world, I mean. Your world. My world. Yer parents' world."**

**"What world?" Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode.”**

“Hagrid should stay with the Dursleys,” Sirius declared, “they’d be so scared _all the time_ ,” he squeaked gleefully.

“That would be a cruel sentence,” James said, grinning, “I would hate to be around an angry Hagrid.”

“Remember that time he blew up at his puppy?” Remus asked, and the other two nodded, their faces pale.

“That poor dog,” Sirius whimpered.

“What did he do?” Lily asked curiously

“The dog peed on Hagrids rug, and Hagrid’s whole face turned purple and he started to yell,” James said.

“I swear, the windows were rattling,” Sirius added

“What did you do?” Lily asked, grinning

“What do you think?” James squeaked, “We ran!”

“So manly,” she said, and he chuckled nervously.

**““DURSLEY!" he boomed.**

**Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble." Hagrid stared wildly at Harry.**

**"But yeh must know about yer mom and dad," he said, "I mean, they're famous. You're famous."”**

“He doesn’t know anything about us,” Lily sighed sadly

“Don’t worry Lils,” James said soothingly, “He will.”

**“"What? My - my mom and dad weren't famous, were they?"**

**"Yeh don' know... yeh don' know..." Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare, "Yeh don' know what yeh are." he said finally.”**

“No, he doesn’t,” Remus said bitterly

“Tell him!” Sirius urged

**“Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice.**

**"Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!"”**

“Oh, bad move,” Lily said, flinching slightly.

“Forbid?” James said, paling, “Hagrid’s _not_ going to like that.”

“I don’t think _anyone_ would,” Sirius mumbled, and James grinned

“We would know,” he winked and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Yes, thanks to McGonagall.”

**“A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him”**

“I would be frightened,” Remus said.

“Yes, and I’m guessing you’re a right sight braver than Vernon Dursley,” James said, and Remus snorted

**“when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage.**

**"You never told him. Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him. I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years."”**

“So Dumbledore explained everything in that letter?” Sirius asked, and the other three nodded.

“I don’t think that was the smartest move,” James said, as if saying something Dumbledore did was wrong was a crime punishable by a trip to Azkaban.

“I don’t either,” Lily said, and James sighed in relief. He had been expecting Lily to yell at him.

**“"Kept what from me?" said Harry eagerly.**

**"STOP! I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in panic.”**

“Enough with the forbidding!” Remus squeaked

“They’re basically asking Hagrid to kill them,” Sirius agreed, nodding.

“Hopefully he obliges,” James muttered, and then shot Lily an apologetic look, which she accepted with a slight nod.

“ **Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror.**

**"Ah, go boil yet heads, both of yeh," said Hagrid.”**

“Ahhhhh!” Sirius yelled, “I wish I was _there_ to see their faces!”

“Well, it’s not going to happen, so you should enjoy it,” Lily said, and Sirius nodded awkwardly.

“I hope not,” he said quietly, patting James’s shoulder.

**““Harry - yer a wizard."”**

“That was blunt,” James said, and the others burst out laughing

“Like ripping off a band aid,” Lily said.

“What?” Remus asked, and Lily bit her lip

“Sorry, muggle thing,” she said, and the boys shrugged.

“I don’t understand why you’re apologizing,” Sirius laughed, and Lily flushed

“It’s a reflex,” she said, and James grinned.

**“There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard.   "-a what?" gasped Harry.”**

“How did you find out?” James asked Lily curiously.

“What do you mean?” she asked, and he ran his hand through his hair.

“About you being a witch, did you just have a letter?” he asked curiously, and the others tuned in closely.

“Well, I was delivered a letter by some ministry official,” she said, and the boys eyebrows shot up, “they had to explain the statue of secrecy to my family,” she explained, and they nodded.

“So what did they say?” Remus asked curiously

“Well, they started with ‘Ms. Evans, we’re here to inform you that you are a witch’,” Lily said, and the boys grinned, “and I squeaked.”

“Why?” Sirius asked

“Well, I already knew,” she said, “Severus told me in the playground when I was nine.”

“You’ve known Snape since you were nine?” James gasped, and Lily nodded.

“Can we just read?” she asked awkwardly, and the boys nodded sympathetically.

**““A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower,”**

“I am not making that joke,” Sirius said, “Shame, I wish it was Chubby,” he sighed, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You, are insane,” she said, and Sirius grinned happily

“Thank you love,” he said, smiling.

**““an' a thumpin' good'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be.”**

“Aw,” Lily smiled, “Hagrid!”

“I think we now have _two_ people declaring love for Hagrid,” Sirius stage whispered to Remus, who rolled his eyes

“That’s so sweet!” Lily squealed, “I have to hug him,” she said, “Hurry up and finish the chapter.”

“Yes dear,” James said sarcastically, and Lily threw a pillow at him.

“Don’t call me dear,” she said, and James winked at her.

**“An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter."”**

“He brought a letter?” James squeaked, “What is _with_ Hogwarts?”

“They’re very desperate to have a celebrity,” Sirius said.

“Oh shush, he defeated Voldemort, he needs to be trained to fight,” Lily said, and James’s eyebrows shot up

“You want hint o fight?” James asked, and Lily shook her head

“No, if it were up to me, he’d be locked in a room for the rest of his life so he’s safe,” she said, and James grinned, “But I rather he be prepared to fight,” she said, and James nodded.

**“Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to**

**_Mr. H. Potter_ **

**_The Floor_ **

**_Hut-on-the-Rock_ **

**_The Sea_ ** **”**

“BRILLIANT!” Sirius laughed

“The Sea,” James repeated, grinning, “This is such an accurate address,” he chuckled.

“They’ve really out done themselves,” Lily laughed, and James grinned at her.

“We should live somewhere really obscure, just to see what they’d write on the letter,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“Hey, Moony?” Sirius whispered, and Remus turned to him, “Are they aware that they’re a couple?” he asked, and Remus chuckled, shaking his head

“They’ll get there.”

**“He pulled out the letter and read:**

**_HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY_ **

**_Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_ **

**_Dear Mr. Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._ **

**_Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31._ **

**_Yours sincerely,_ **

**_Minerva McGonagall,_ **

**_Deputy Headmistress_ ** **”**

“I am in such a good mood right now,” James grinned.

“Do you want a cookie?” Lily teased, and James’s eyes widened

“You bet,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“I wasn’t serious,” she said, and James sighed dramatically.

“Well I still deserve _something_ ,” he said

“You didn’t do anything!” Lily protested, and James huffed

“You are useless,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“Shouldn’t be too long,” Remus murmured to Sirius, who grinned at his best friends euphoric expression.

“Dumbledore has _so many_ awards,” Sirius said, and James laughed

“Challenge accepted,” James winked, and Sirius burst out laughing.

**“Questions exploded inside Harry's head like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. After a few minutes he stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?"”**

“Really?” Sirius asked, “That’s the _first question_ you ask?”

“What do you expect him to ask?” James asked.

“How about, when can I get out of here?” Sirius suggested, and the others burst out laughing

“That would just be rude,” Lily said, and James rolled his eyes

“And of course, we just cant have that,” he said sarcastically, and Lily shook his head

“No child of mine is going to be rude,” she said, and James sighed

“Not like the Dursleys were kind to him,” Remus said, “so why does it matter?”

“Who cares? That makes him just as bad as them,” she said, and all three boys gave up.

**““Gallopin' Gorgons,”**

“There’s one I’ve never heard before,” Sirius said, eyebrows high on his forehead.

“And he knows a lot of phrases,” Remus said to Lily, who giggled

“That wasn’t sarcastic,” James said, and Lily stopped laughing abruptly, her eyebrows shooting up

“How?” she asked turning to Sirius, who shrugged

“Pick them up,” he said, and Lily chuckled.

““ **that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse,”**

“I know the feeling,” James shuddered, and Sirius guffawed

“That was the funniest thing _ever_ ,” Sirius laughed.

“We were walking and out of nowhere Hagrid comes out, swinging his arms and whistling,” Remus explained, while James flushed, “And his hand whacks James straight on the forehead!” he laughed

“He flew a few feet back!” Sirius wheezed, and Lily giggled.

“It wasn’t funny!” James protested, his ears bright red

“I respectfully disagree,” Remus said, and James crossed his arms dejectedly.

**“and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl - a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl”**

“Poor owl!” Lily squeaked.

“At least it’s still alive,” Sirius shrugged

“Maybe it’s right next to his pocket of mice,” Remus grinned, and Sirius chuckled

**“-a long quill, and a roll of parchment.**

**With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down:**

**Dear Professor Dumbledore,**

**Given Harry his letter.**

**Taking him to buy his things tomorrow.**

**Weather's horrible. Hope you're Well.**

**Hagrid”**

“That sounds very Hagrid,” Lily laughed

“How would you know?” Sirius asked

“He writes to me over the summer.” Lily shrugged, and the boys looked at her incredulously

“He actually writes back?” James gasped, and Lily nodded.

“So I guess he _chooses_ not to write back to us,” Sirius said, and James pouted

“And here I thought Hagrid liked us,” James said, and Lily grinned

“At least he likes one of us,” she teased, and James stuck his tongue out at her.

“There it is again,” Sirius whispered to Remus, “‘us’.”

**“Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was as normal as talking on the telephone.**

**Harry realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly.”**

“See Lily, there are your manners,” James grinned, and Lily rolled her eyes, trying to restrain a laugh.

“At least he shut his mouth,” she sighed, and James laughed.

**““Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight.**

**"He's not going," he said.”**

“Yes he bloody well is,” Sirius said angrily, crossing his arms, “If you don’t let him-“

“What will you do?” Remus asked, grinning.

“I’ll to find him and make sure Dudley never comes to life,” Sirius said dangerously, and both Remus and James paled, crossing their legs, causing Lily to burst out laughing.

**“Hagrid grunted.**

**"I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said.**

**"A what?" said Harry, interested. ”**

“Non magic folk,” Lily answered quickly, and Sirius snorted

“You just cant resist answer a question, can you?” he teased, and Lily grinned sheepishly.

“It’s a habit,” she admitted, and Sirius laughed.

**“"A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call non-magic folk like them.  An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on."”**

“They are the biggest muggles,” Sirius grinned, “Get it? _Biggest.”_

“Fat joke number four,” Lily said in a bored voice, and Sirius grinned happily.

“ **“We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!"”**

“Rubbish?” James asked irritably

“Stamp it out of him?” Sirius growled

“He _is_ a bloody wizard!” Remus said indignantly

“You three _really_ need to calm down,” Lily said

“Is that why you’re furious?” Sirius asked, and Lily flushed

“Shush,” she said, and the boys grinned

**““You knew?" said Harry. "You knew I'm a - a wizard?"**

**"Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly.”**

“That’s like the first time she’s talked!” Remus gasped

“She’s finally letting it all out,” Lily sighed, and they frowned at her.

“What?” Sirius asked

“Just watch,” Lily said, “She’s going to complain about me,” she said, “She only shrieks when she’s about to say something nasty about me.”

“I doubt that Lily,” Remus said, slightly uncertainly

“I assure you,” Lily said, “Keep reading James,” she said, and James nodded, and began to read cautiously

**““Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was?”**

Lily grimaced, “Told you,” she said simply, but the boys could see the hurt on her features

“Do you want me to go on?” James asked, and Lily shrugged

“Might as well,” she said, tucking her knees under her chin.

**““Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that-that school-and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was - a freak!”**

“That’s uncalled for!” Sirius yelled indignantly

“Whatever,” Lily sighed sadly, “I’ve heard it before”

“She says this to your face?” Remus asked incredulously, and Lily nodded dully.

“Everyday I’m around her,” she said, smiling humorlessly.

“Maybe James shouldn’t-“

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Lily said, “I already _know_ this, just keep reading,” she said, and James looked at her worriedly, “Really, I’m fine.”

**““But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!" She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years.”**

“Well, after I die I doubt there’s anyone she can rant about this to,” Lily said bitterly, “I’m surprised she didn’t tell Harry every day what a _freak_ I am,” she said, and James saw angry tears in her green eyes.

“Lil-“

“I’m _fine_ ,” she said angrily, and James nodded.

**““Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as - as – abnormal””**

“Oi!” James said angrily

“Calm down,” Lily said, looking at James oddly

“No!” he said, “She’s calling you _and_ Harry abnormal,” he said, and she looked at Sirius, who smiled at her slightly, confusing her even more.

“Why do you-“

“Oh, forget it Lily,” James said sadly, leaving Lily sitting, confused and bewildered, and both Remus and Sirius smiling knowingly.

“ **\- and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!"”**

“Well I’m sorry my death was such an inconvenience to you!” Lily yelled. James pushed himself off the sofa and pulled out a handkerchief, wiping Lily’s face. She gasped as she realized she was crying, “I’m s-“

“Don’t you dare,” James laughed, and Lily smiled sheepishly

“Really let m-“

“I’ve got it,” James said, and tucked the handkerchief back into his pocket, “Don’t worry about her Lil,” he said, kneeling down in front of her, “She’s not worth it.”

“Thanks,” Lily smiled, and James grinned before getting up and falling back on the sofa, both Remus and Sirius smiling at him

“What?” he asked, and they shook their heads simultaneously, little smiles on their faces.

**“Harry had gone very white. As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!"”**

“Poor Harry,” Remus said sadly, “Imagine finding out that you were lied to about how your parents died?” he said, and both Lily and James grimaced.

“Don’t worry,” Sirius laughed, “Hagrid will get them for this,” he winked, and the couple chuckled.

**““CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!"”**

“Thank you,” Lily murmured, and the boys laughed

“Thank him when we visit him,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed

“That would be so odd! He’d be so confused!”

“Ah, and what’s the harm in that?” Sirius asked, and Lily giggled.

“Touché,” she said, laughing.

**“"But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently.**

**The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious.”**

“What? Why?” Sirius asked, bewildered, the idea of Hagrid anxious worrying him to his very core.

“He has to tell Harry the story,” Remus said quietly, “Of how they died,” he said, gesturing to Lily and James, who looked at the book.

“That wont be pretty,” Sirius mumbled, “We don’t have to-“

“No! We do!” James said, “I want to know what happens.”

**““I never expected this," he said, in a low, worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh - but someone’s gotta - yeh can't go off ter Hogwarts not knowin'." He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys.”**

“Hagrid!” Lily squeaked, “You’re the perfect person to tell him!”

“He really is,” Sirius said, “The Dursleys wont dare cutting him off,” he said, and Lily chuckled

“That’s not what I meant, but that works too,” she said, and Sirius laughed.

**““Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh - mind, I can't tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it...."”**

“So it’s ten years later and they still don’t really know what happened?” James asked irritably

“Apparently not,” Lily muttered bitterly

“Come on you guys, give them a break, nobody survives the Avada Kedavra,” Sirius said, and both Lily and James sighed

“I guess you’re right,” James said, “It just feels like nobody cared.”

“Shut up,” Remus advised, and James chuckled.

**“He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with - with a person called - but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows --"**

**"Who?"**

**"Well -- I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does."”**

“Fear of the name increased fear of the thing itself,” Lily said, shaking her head.

“Er, right, what she said,” James said, and the other two laughed as Lily rolled her eyes fondly

“Hagrid should say his name,” Remus said

“We’ll tell him that,” Sirius said, and Remus chuckled.

“I have a feeling that this visit is going to be _very_ strange,” he said, and Sirius laughed.

**“”Why not?"**

**"Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went... bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was..." Hagrid gulped, but no words came out.**

**"Could you write it down?" Harry suggested.”**

“Give him a little space!” James laughed, “Eager child.”

“Just like you,” Lily teased, and James stuck his tongue out at her

“They’re _definitely_ dating,” Sirius murmured to Remus, who nodded seriously

“Do you think Prongs is keeping it form us?” he asked, and Sirius snorted, shaking his head

“He wouldn’t, he’d be too busy squealing about it,” he said, and Remus chuckled.

**““Nah -can't spell it. All right - Voldemort, " Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this - this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got 'em, too - some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches...terrible things happened.”**

“It’s not _that_ bad,” Sirius said awkwardly

“We’re protected,” Lily said, “We’re in Hogwarts. I bet it’s that bad outside,” she said.

“One more year and we’ll find out,” James said, faux excitedly, and Remus laughed humorlessly.

“Cant wait,” he said, and James grinned at him.

**““He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him - an' he killed 'em. Horribly.”**

James gulped.

“Your parents are fine,” Sirius said, and James nodded, his face pale, “Mate, you’d know if anything happened,” Sirius said soothingly, and James nodded quickly, taking a deep breath, still pale. Sirius looked at Lily, who nodded and got off the armchair to sit next to James.

“They’re fine,” she said soothingly, and James nodded. She rested her hand comfortingly on his knee, after a second of hesitation, and James looked down at it, snapping out of his panicked state. Sirius quickly moved onto Lily’s armchair, “Hey!” she protested, and Sirius grinned cheekily, winking at Remus, who chuckled, “I come down here to comfort _your_ best mate and you steal my seat?” she asked, and Sirius shrugged

“He’s your husband now,” he said, and Lily flushed and James chuckled awkwardly, “So it’s your responsibility over mine,” he winked, and Lily sighed, leaning back, still sitting next to James.

“Fine,” she muttered, and James’s eyes widened. Sirius winked at him.

**““One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of.   Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway.**

**"Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew.”**

Lily and James smiled.

“Hagrids going to get some _serious_ love,” Sirius laughed, and Lily grinned

**““Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day!””**

“WHAT?” Lily squeaked, sitting bold upright, “What did you say?” she asked James, who was pale.

“What?” he choked, looking at Remus, “But I thought you’d be Head Boy!” he squeaked.

“I got Head Girl?” Lily squeaked, grinning widely, “Really?” she asked, and James grinned at her, “Oh _Merlin_ ,” she squealed, throwing herself on James in an excited hug. James looked bewildered.

“Breathe,” Remus mouthed to him, and James smiled sheepishly before hugging Lily back.

“And you got Head Boy?” she asked incredulously, pulling back, and James nodded, still in shock, “Well, that makes sense,” she said after a second, and he frowned at her

“It does?”

“Well, it’s genius actually,” she said, letting go of James, much to his disappointment, “I mean, if you cant control him, make him Head Boy,” she said, and James grimaced as Sirius grinned, “and Dumbledore probably assumed you’d be the only one to get him under control,” she said, nodding to Sirius, and James laughed as Sirius’s grin faltered, knowing the truth when he heard it

“Damn,” Sirius hissed.

“Why don’t we keep reading?” an amused Remus suggested.

**““Suppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his side before... probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark Side.”**

“Smart of him,” James muttered, and Lily nodded in agreement.

**““Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em... maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' - an' -"”**

“Killed us,” Lily said bluntly, and James grimaced

“I hope he doesn’t give Harry the gory details,” James muttered.

“Doubt it,” Sirius said sadly, “Hagrid loves you two, he wont get it out,” he said, and Remus nodded in agreement.

**“Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn.”**

“Told you,” Sirius said

“He _always_ scares me when he blows his nose,” Remus squeaked, and they all laughed.

**““Sorry," he said.”**

“Lily, are you giving Hagrid lessons?” Sirius teased, and Lily flushed

“Shush,” she said, grinning.

**““But it's that sad -- knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find”**

“Thank you,” Lily said sweetly, and James chuckled.

**“- anyway... You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then - an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing - he tried to kill you, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then.”**

Sirius snorted, “Only Hagrid could think of something like that,” he laughed, and Remus chuckled

“Maybe he just liked killing,” Remus repeated, laughing.

**““But he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh - took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even”**

“He destroyed my _house_?” Lily asked incredulously, anger in her eyes

“So your life, and you don’t get angry, but your _house_ ,” Sirius said sarcastically, trailing off, and Lily grinned as James and Remus chuckled, “Merlin forbid anyone touches your precious house.”

“Exactly,” Lily laughed.

**“-but it didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Harry. No one ever lived after he decided ter kill 'em, no one except you, an' he'd killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age - the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts - an' you was only a baby, an' you lived."”**

Lily gasped, as the boys stared at the book incredulously.

“McKinnon? As in, Adam McKinnon?” she asked, and the boys shrugged shakily.

“Prewett,” James said, turning to Sirius, “Gid and Fab?”

“Probably,” Sirius said sadly, wiping his face.

“Bones? From Hufflepuff?” Remus asked, and the others shrugged sadly

“This is really depressing,” Lily said, and the others nodded sadly

**“Something very painful was going on in Harry's mind. As Hagrid's story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than he had ever remembered it before - and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh.”**

Lily gasped, horrified, as James and Sirius narrowed their eyes angrily and Remus’s expression adopted one of disgust.

“He _laughed_?” James asked angrily.

“He _remembered_ that?” Lily asked sadly.

**“Hagrid was watching him sadly.**

**"Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot..."**

**"Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon. Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten that the Dursleys were there.”**

“Wish they weren’t,” Sirius muttered, and Lily grinned

“Who would you make fat jokes about then?” she asked incredulously, and Sirius grinned

“Shame,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed as James and Remus shook their heads fondly.

**“Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage. He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched.”**

“Hagrid versus Vernon, my bet’s on Vernon!” Sirius said sarcastically, and they all snorted

**““Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled, "I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured - and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion”**

“Shut _up_!” Sirius yelled, angrily, as Remus glared at the book

“Calm down,” Lily said gently, as Sirius began to shake angrily

“Mate!” James yelled, throwing a pillow at him, “don’t get so angry!” he said in an annoyed whisper, and gesturing to Lily. Sirius got control of himself and smiled sheepishly at Lily

“Sorry,” he said, and Lily shook her head

“It’s fine,” she said, looking at James curiously.

**“- asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types - just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end -" But at that moment, Hagrid leapt from the sofa and drew a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat.”**

“I TOLD YOU!” Sirius yelled, pointing at Remus, “The wand is in the umbrella!”

“I never denied that,” Remus said, grinning at the book.

“Trust Hagrid to put his wand in his umbrella,” Lily giggled, and the boys laughed in agreement.

**“Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley -I'm warning you - one more word... " In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant,”**

“That is one of the funniest sentences I have ever said,” James laughed, and the others joined in

“What an interesting way to go,” Sirius laughed, “Speared by a pink umbrella at the hands of a bearded giant,” he said, and Remus snorted

“That would be so embarrassing to have written on a gravestone,” he said, and Lily laughed

**“Uncle Vernon's courage failed again; he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent.**

**"That's better," said Hagrid, breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor.”**

“Poor sofa,” Sirius said, shaking his head, amused.

**Harry, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them.**

**"But what happened to Vol-, sorry - I mean, You-Know-Who?"”**

“Don’t apologize,” James said, as if he were chastising Harry in real life, “Say his name!”

“Well, he should apologize if Hagrid felt uncomfortable,” Lily said, and James rolled his eyes

“Honestly,” he muttered, and Lily laughed, “Well, he should still say the name.”

“No denying that,” Lily agreed, and James grinned.

“See? We can cooperate,” he said, nudging Lily, who rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus laughed

“We’ll see,” she said, and James shook his head fondly

“ **“Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see...  he was gettin' more an' more powerful - why'd he go?**

**"Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don’ reckon they could've done if he was comin' back.**

**"Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers.  Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you finished him, Harry.  There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on - I dunno what it was, no one does - but somethin' about you stumped him, all right."”**

“That’s quite a story,” Remus whistled

“Can you believe an _infant_ took down Voldemort?” Sirius asked, and Remus chuckled

“There was something more going on,” Lily said, shaking her head, “Something more powerful than that.”

**“Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard. Him. How could he possibly be? He'd spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn't they been turned into warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him in his cupboard?”**

The boys snorted as Lily giggled

“That’s a common misconception,” she commented, and the boys laughed

“Really?” Sirius asked, “toads?”

“Yes actually,” Lily said, and the boys snorted in disbelief.

“Muggles are crazy,” Remus said, and grinned at Lily, who chuckled good-naturedly.

**“If he'd once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?**

**"Hagrid," he said quietly, "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a wizard." To his surprise, Hagrid chuckled.**

**"Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?" Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it... every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him had happened when he, Harry, had been upset or angry... chased by Dudley's gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach... dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he'd managed to make it grow back... and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn't he got his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it. Hadn't he set a boa constrictor on him?**

**Harry looked back at Hagrid, smiling, and saw that Hagrid was positively beaming at him.”**

“I want Hagrid to beam at me!” Sirius said, and Lily laughed

“Why would he?” she asked, and James guffawed as Sirius gasped, affronted

“Lily!”

“What?” she asked innocently, and Sirius huffed, crossing his arms.

“I liked you better when you weren’t talking to us,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, grinning.

**““See?" said Hagrid. "Harry Potter, not a wizard - you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogwarts." But Uncle Vernon wasn't going to give in without a fight.**

**"Haven't I told you he's not going?” he hissed. "He's going to Stonewall High and he'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish - spell books and wands and -"”**

“You’re just jealous,” Lily spat, and the boys looked at her, eyebrows raised, “What? I bet he pretended he was magical when he was a child. We all did!” she said, and Remus grinned

“You pretended you were magical?” he asked, and Lily nodded, flushing

“Of course! All muggle kids do,” she said, and the boys grinned

“Looks like you got your wish,” Sirius winked, and Lily laughed.

“Really?” she gasped, “I didn’t know that!”

“Oh be quiet,” Sirius chuckled, as James and Remus laughed.

**““If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop him," growled Hagrid. "Stop Lily an' James Potter' s son goin' ter Hogwarts! Yer mad.  His name's been down ever since he was born. He's off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself. He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had Albus Dumbled--"**

**"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL To TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.”**

“No!” Sirius gasped, as Lily, James and Remus groaned.

“Good luck Vernon,” James saluted

“I don’t know if he’ll get out of this alive,” Remus said worriedly

“That was so nice of Hagrid, to stand up for Harry,” Lily said, and James turned to her, grinning

“We’re going to be expressing _way_ too much gratitude,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“I can’t wait to see his expression,” she said, and James laughed, turning back to the book

“Let’s see if Vernon Dursley makes it out of this alive,” he said, and Sirius grinned in anticipation.

**“But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER," he thundered, "- INSULT- ALBUS- DUMBLEDORE- IN- FRONT- OF- ME!" He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley”**

“I didn’t see that coming,” Sirius said bluntly, shocked.

“Shh!” Lily hushed, waving her hand at him.

**“- there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain.”**

“What do you think he did?” Sirius asked.

“Let’s find out,” Lily said, and Sirius shook his head quickly

“This is a game!” he said, and Lily sighed

“I honestly have no idea,” Remus said, and James shook his head

“Me neither, I’ve never heard of a spell like that,” he said.

“Me neither,” Lily said, when Sirius turned to her, and Sirius sighed

“Me either, read on,” he said, and James chuckled

**“When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.”**

The four of them roared with laughter, holding onto their stomachs

“Hagrid is my new hero!” Sirius wheezed

“Oh Merlin! The Dursleys are going to co _insane_ ,” James chuckled, taking in deep breaths, supporting the gasping Lily on his shoulder, his right arm around her.

“Keep reading!” she squeaked, not bothering to get off James’s shoulder. Sirius looked at Remus with wide yes, and he grinned back, nodding happily.

**“Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them.**

**Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard.”**

“I love it when people with facial hair _stroke_ their facial hair,” Sirius mused, and Lily giggled

“Do you want facial hair Sirius?” she asked, and Sirius groaned, nodding vigorously

“I can’t seem to grow any, though,” he said sadly, and Lily giggled

“I’d help you,” she said, gesturing to her wand in her pocket, “But it’d distract me.”

“Later?” Sirius begged, and Lily pretended to ponder it

“Maybe,” she said finally, and Sirius groaned as James and Remus grinned.

**““Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do."”**

Sirius burst out laughing, as did the others, “He is my new favorite person!”

“So, now that James has found Mr. Diggle, did you feel the need to find someone?” Remus teased, and Sirius gasped dramatically

“You have found me out, Mr. Moony.”

**“He cast a sideways look at Harry under his bushy eyebrows.**

**"Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm - er - not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff - one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job”**

**"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.”**

“Way to cut straight to the chase,” James laughed, and Lily shook her head, amused, still leaning on James’s shoulder.

“He’s so impolite,” she sighed, and slapped James’s arm, which she was leaning on, “that’s all your fault.”

“Sorry,” James chuckled. Sirius looked at Remus.

 _Soon_ , he mouthed, and Remus grinned.

**“"Oh, well - I was at Hogwarts meself but I - er - got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore."**

**"Why were you expelled?"”**

“Stop it Harry!” Lily laughed, and James turned to look at her, smiling at her close proximity. How had he gotten so lucky?

“Stop yelling at him,” James teased, shrugging his shoulder, causing Lily to scream as she fell off, landing on his forearm.

“James!” she squeaked, sitting up straight, her hair a mess.

“Whoops,” he chuckled, and both Sirius and Remus burst out laughing as Lily whacked James on the back of the head playfully.

**“"It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly.”**

“Subtle subject change,” Sirius chuckled, and Remus laughed, nodding.

“He’s got some serious skill,” Remus said, and James laughed. Lily lay her head on the arm of the sofa, and James rested his arm on her feet. Sirius raised his eyebrows, as Lily didn’t protest.

**““Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that." He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry.**

**"You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' dormice in one o' the pockets."”**

“That’s nasty,” Lily shuddered, and the boys laughed.

“That’s Hagrid,” Sirius shrugged

“That’s the end of that chapter,” JAems said, closing the book, and the other sighed.

“Are you up for a visit?” Remus asked, standing up and stretching.

“Yes!” Lily squealed, jumping up quickly.

“What’s the next chapter?” Sirius asked James, as he stood up, stretching his back.

“ **Chapter Five: Diagon Alley _”_**

“That should be interesting,” Remus grinned, “Harry’s first time in the magical world.”

“Come on,” James said, “Let’s go visit Hagrid.”

* * *

Rubeus Hagrid pulled the door of his hut open to reveal his favorite students.

“Hello!” He said cheerfully, grinning, “How’re yeh lot?” he asked, his eyes looking questioningly between James and Lily, who were standing next to each other, and _not_ screaming.

“Hagrid!” Lily squealed, running at him, throwing her arms around him, “Thank you!”

“For wha’?” he asked, bewildered.

“You’re the man,” James agreed,w alking inside and clapping Hagrid on the forearm

“I _love_ you!” Sirius exclaimed happily, jumping up and down happily.

“Wha’ is wrong with yeh lot?” Hagrid asked, bewildered, shutting the door to the hut.

* * *

**There’s the next chapter! Hope you liked it! READ AND REVIEW!!!!**

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	6. Diagon Alley

**Hey guys! To answer some questions, I’m not sure if I’m going to do ALL the books, but I’d actually really love to see their reactions through all of them.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except the reactions of the characters in this fic**

* * *

“You’re kicking us out?” Remus asked as Hagrid herded them to the door after about twenty minutes

“Yeah,” Hagrid said, pulling Sirius away from the table, which he was clutching on to so he wouldn’t have to go

“But Hagrid!” Sirius whined, “I want to stay with you!” Hagrid turned, bewildered, to look at Lily, who was looking at Sirius sympathetically. James walked over to Lily and she smiled at him.

“I don’ understan’,” he said, looking at Lily and James curiously, causing them to blush, “Las’ time I saw yeh you two was bitin’ each others heads off!” he exclaimed, and Lily grinned sheepishly.

“I’m sorry Hagrid,” she said earnestly, “I would tell you the whole story but I can’t,” she said, and Hagrid sighed, his beard fluttering.

“Speaking of,” James said, crossing his arms, “You _write_ to her?” he asked, and Hagrid flushed embarrassedly.

“Don’ know what yeh’re talkin’ ‘bout,” he mumbled, and James turned to Lily, who bit her lip, grinning.

“You write to her over the summer! But you wont write to me?” he asked, “OR the rest of us?” he added, gesturing to Sirius and Remus.

“S’differen’,” Hagrid said, clearing his throat, “I need me company,” he said, and the boys snorted

“We’re _excellent_ company!” Sirius protested, and Hagrid sighed, turning to Lily

“How about we go?” she said, and Sirius crossed his arms childishly, storming past Hagrid. Hagrid chuckled pat Sirius on the back, causing him to fall flat on his face

“Sorry!” Hagrid said, picking Sirius up by the scruff of the collar and placing him back on his feet.

“S’fine,” Sirius said, laughing, “At least you didn’t whack me in the face,” he said, winking at James, who laughed as Hagrid flushed

“I already apologized to yeh fer tha’,” he said, and James grinned

“Yes, you did,” he said, “But it wont stop being funny.”

“Well, we’ll get out of your hair then,” Remus said.

“Off with yeh, then,” Hagrid chuckled as they filed out the door.

“Bye Hagrid!”

“I love you!” Sirius yelled.

“Me too!” James yelled, “And Lily does too!”

“So does Moony!” Sirius added, and Hagrid chuckled, shutting the door to his cabin.

* * *

“Well, that was a fun visit,” Sirius said, flopping down on Lily’s armchair.

“Really?” she whined, and Sirius grinned at her. Remus grabbed the other armchair so Lily was forced to sit with James on the sofa. James winked at his friends, who laughed.

“Poor Hagrid looked so confused,” James chuckled, shaking his head.

“He’ll live,” Lily said, waving it off, “Let’s keep reading!”

“Do you think Harry’s going to be bombarded with random strangers?” Sirius asked, “He _is_ a celebrity and all,” he said, and Remus chuckled

“Probably,” he said, and Sirius grinned

“Excellent!”

“So who’s reading?” James asked, and Sirius raised his hand, “Fine,” he said, chucking the book at Sirius, who grinned in delight.

“James!” Lily chastised, and James chuckled

“It’s only fair! The rest of us have already read,” he pointed out, and Lily sighed, crossing her arms.

“Fine,” she mumbled, and Sirius bounced happily, turning to the right page.

**“Chapter Five: Diagon Alley”**

“So, do you think he’s going to Diagon Alley?” Remus asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Sirius snickered

“I would assume so,” James answered seriously, and Remus nodded, his mouth twitching with laughter.

**“Harry woke early the next morning. Although he could tell it was daylight, he kept his eyes shut tight.”**

“I always do that,” Lily laughed

“Why?” James asked, bewildered.

“Because I don’t want to wake up!” she squeaked

“Why wouldn’t you want to wake up?” Sirius asked incredulously, exchanging bewildered glances with James.

“Well, there’s not anything to look forward to,” Lily shrugged, “plus, my best friend graduated, and my other close friend isn’t even in Gryffindor, so I’m basically by myself during the day,” she said, and the boys grimaced

“You can be with us!” Sirius said, and Lily laughed

“It’s fine,” she said, and Remus shook his head

“No, seriously,” he said, and Lily smiled

“Thanks.”

**“"It was a dream”, he told himself firmly. "I dreamed a giant called Hagrid came to tell me I was going to a school for wizards. When I open my eyes I'll be at home in my cupboard."”**

“He’s so cute!” Sirius laughed

“I hate that feeling though,” James said honestly, “When you think you dreamt it but it turns out it was real,” he said

“I hate it when it’s the other way around; when you thought it was real but it turned out to be a dream,” Lily said, and James nodded

“Touché, that’s a lot worse,” he said.

**“There was suddenly a loud tapping noise.**

**’And there's Aunt Petunia knocking on the door’, Harry thought, his heart sinking.”**

“This child is such a pessimist,” Sirius said, shaking his head, “Honestly, doesn’t he want to believe it was real?”

“He’s not a _pessimist_ ,” Lily said, shaking her head, “He’s just confused.”

“And he might think it was too good to be true,” James said, and Lily nodded in agreement

“Don’t argue with them, mate,” Remus said, “They’re his parents.”

“You have a point,” Sirius said gravely, and both Lily and James shook their heads amusedly.

“Besides, Aunt Petunia wouldn’t knock,” Lily said, “She’d bang the door so hard that it would be at risk of falling down,” she said, and the boys chuckled

“Does she do that to you?” Sirius teased, and Lily nodded irritably

“At bloody seven in the morning!” she squeaked, “That’s so early!”

“That’s not early!” James retorted, and Lily looked at him, bewildered

“Yes it is!” she said, and Sirius guffawed

“Lily, you’re arguing with a notorious morning person,” he said, and Lily shuddered.

“You’re strange,” she said, and James chuckled as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“But he still didn't open his eyes.”**

“Open them!” Sirius urged, “RISE AND SHINE!”

“Sirius, really?” Remus asked, and Sirius grinned at him.

“He should open his eyes! Then he’ll know it’s real!”

“He will,” Remus chuckled

“What was the knocking sound?” James suddenly asked, and they looked at each other.

“We never found out, did we?” Remus asked, and Sirius shook his head, before looking at the book for answers.

**“It had been such a good dream.”**

“It would actually have been an amazing dream,” Sirius nodded, “If it was, I’d have to compliment him on imagination power,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“Sirius! It wasn’t a dream!” she said

“Oh, right,” he said sheepishly.

**“Tap. Tap. Tap.”**

“Hello?” Sirius sung, and Lily sighed as Remus and James snickered

“Why did you give him the book?” she asked James, who shook his head, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

**““All right," Harry mumbled, "I'm getting up."”**

“And now he’s going to know it’s real!” Sirius said happily, and Lily groaned

“Every sentence Sirius?” she asked, and he laughed.

“Sorry, I’ll read,” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up, as did the other two’s.

**“He sat up and Hagrid's heavy coat fell off him.”**

“Now he knows it’s real,” James smiled, and Lily grinned

“So you’re not going to yell at him?” Sirius asked irritably.

“I can’t yell at my husband,” she said sarcastically, and Sirius rolled his eyes as his friends roared with laughter.

“Actually, you’ll find that you can yell at your husband more than anyone else,” Remus said, and Lily laughed.

“You have a point,” she said, and James shook his head

“She already _does_ yell at me more than anyone else,” he said, and Sirius snickered

“That’s also true,” he said, “We should’ve seen this marriage coming for years!” he said, and Lily laughed.

**“The hut was full of sunlight, the storm was over, Hagrid himself was asleep on the collapsed sofa, and there was an owl rapping its claw on the window, a newspaper held in its beak.”**

“Go open the window!” Remus urged

“He will,” said Lily curiously, “Why are you so eager?”

“I want to see his reaction to _the Prophet_ ,” he said excitedly, “With the moving pictures!”

“Oh! That should be fun!” James said, looking down at the book

“How did you react?” Sirius asked Lily, who cocked her head to the side

“I yelled the first time,” she said, and the three boys laughed, “Don’t laugh! I grew up thinking pictures weren’t _supposed_ to move,” she said, and Sirius shook his head amusedly

“Muggles.”

**“Harry scrambled to his feet, so happy he felt as though a large balloon was swelling inside him.”**

“It shouldn’t swell up too far,” Sirius said, “Then he’d turn into Dudley!”

“That would be a shame,” Remus nodded

“At least he wont be scrawny anymore,” Lily said, and James gasped, as his friends laughed.

“Lily!”

“What?” she asked innocently.

**“He went straight to the window and jerked it open. The owl swooped in and dropped the newspaper on top of Hagrid, who didn't wake up.”**

“That’s because he sleeps like a rock,” Sirius muttered, and Lily raised an eyebrow at him.

“How would you know that?” she asked, and Sirius turned to James and Remus, grinning

“We were going to get our school stuff from him, since we’d left our bags there to go play Quidditch,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head amusedly, “Oi! Quidditch is fun!”

“I never said it wasn’t,” Lily said, holding both her hands up in defense.

“Fine,”Sirisu said, and his smile reappeared, “So then we were knocking on the door and he was asleep. _Nothing_ worked!” Sirius laughed, as did James and Remus

“We had to break in through the window,” James laughed, and Lily giggled

“But that window’s puny!”

“We sent James in,” Sirius said, “He’s the scrawniest.”

“I’m not scrawny!” James said defensively.

“Anymore,” Sirius added, and James huffed, sticking his tongue out at Sirius.

**“The owl then fluttered onto the floor and began to attack Hagrid's coat.”**

“For the mice,” Sirius said knowingly, and Lily shuddered

“How can you carry mice in your pocket?” she squeaked, “That’s so disgusting!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be a Gryffindor?” James teased, and Lily nudged him.

“I am a Gryffindor, I died fighting Voldemort, didn’t i?” she asked, and James chuckled

**““Don't do that." Harry tried to wave the owl out of the way, but it snapped its beak fiercely at him and carried on savaging the coat.”**

“Your son is chastising an owl,” Remus said bluntly, looking at Lily

“He probably got that from Lily,” James said, and Lily flushed.

“Yeah, she’d chastise anything that moved,” Sirius said, and James laughed.

“Anything inanimate even,” he said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him, “Don’t look at me like that! I saw you call a table rude because you knocked into it!” he said, and the others burst out laughing as Lily flushed.

**““Hagrid!" said Harry loudly. "There's an owl”**

“Pay him,” Sirius said, and James huffed, looking over at him.

“We know that,” James said

“Well, I was just making sure,” Sirius said, “Being responsible and all that jazz.”

**““Pay him," Hagrid grunted into the sofa.”**

Sirius nodded and threw James a smug smile, “Told you.”

“When did I ever say otherwise?” James asked, and Sirius shrugged and blew him a kiss

“What is wrong with him today?” Remus asked James, who shrugged

“I think it’s the fact that there’s a girl around,” James said, nodding to Lily, “It’s making him crazy.”

“That makes sense,” Remus nodded, “That’s the only girl he’s been around that he hasn’t tried to drag into a broom closet,” he said, and Lily flushed

“I would have, if James hadn’t claimed her,” Sirius said bitterly, and James grinned

“I’m sitting _right here_ ,” Lily said, bright red, and all three boys grinned sheepishly.

**““What?"”**

“That was a really simple instruction,” James said, shaking his head

“Give him a break, he’s never been around magic stuff before,” Lily said, and James nodded

“I guess you’re right.”

**““He wants payin' fer deliverin' the paper. Look in the pockets."”**

“Your coat is nothing _but_ pockets,” Lily laughed, and the boys grinned.

“Good luck Harry,” Remus smiled.

**“Hagrid's coat seemed to be made of nothing but pockets”**

“He’s definitely your son,” Remus laughed, and Lily grinned happily, blushing.

**“-bunches of keys, slug pellets, balls of string, peppermint humbugs, teabags... ”**

“Why would you need to carry all of that around with you?” James asked, flabbergasted.

“This is Hagrid,” Sirius said, “no-one knows why he even _has_ most of the stuff he does,” Sirius said bluntly, and James nodded, smiling.

**“finally, Harry pulled out a handful of strange-looking coins. "Give him five Knuts," said Hagrid sleepily.”**

“He doesn’t know what those are,” Lily said, shaking her head.

“Well, Hagrid’s half asleep,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled

“Why are you defending him?”

“Hagrid is my Mr. Diggle,” Sirius said, and James sighed, slapping his forehead with his palm.

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?” he muttered, and Lily laughed.

“No,” she said simply, and James groaned.

**““Knuts?"”**

“Voila,” Lily said, and Sirius’s eyebrows shot up

“French?”

“Yep,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“I speak French!”

“Do you?” Lily asked, turning to Remus, who shook his head, and Lily grinned

“Oi!” Sirius said defensively, “My family crest says ‘Toujours Pur!’”

“And that automatically means you speak French, right?” James said teasingly, and Sirius huffed.

“You’re all so mean to me,” he whined, and pretended to cry. When nobody moved, he glared at them, “You wouldn’t come comfort your crying friend?”

“You weren’t really crying,” Lily shrugged, and Sirius crossed his arms irritably

“I am, Harry doesn’t know what a Knut is,” Sirius sniffled, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled

“They’re the little bronze ones,” James said, and Lily shook her head

“We know,” she teased, and James grinned.

**"The little bronze ones."”**

“Told you,” James said cheekily, turning to smile at Lily.

**“Harry counted out five little bronze coins, and the owl held out his leg so Harry could put the money into a small leather pouch tied to it. Then he flew off through the open window.”**

“Go close the window,” Sirius said, and Lily scrunched her nose

“No! Leave it open!” she said.

“But bugs might get in,” Remus teased, and Lily chuckled

“But it probably smells _terrible_ in there,” she said, “or it’s hot and stuffy,” she shuddered, and the boys sighed

“We’re never going to figure her out, are we?” Sirius asked James, who shook his head.

**“Hagrid yawned loudly, sat up, and stretched.”**

Sirius stretched.

“Why are you stretching?” James laughed, and Sirius shrugged

“Hagrid just reminded me that I wanted to stretch,” he laughed, and James shook his head. Lily stretched her arms out in front of her and James turned to her, bewildered

“Why are _you_ stretching?” he asked, and Lily giggled

“It’s contagious,” she said, stretching her arms above her head

Remus laughed, and snapped his fingers. James looked away from Lily, flushing, and mouthed 'thank you' to Remus, who laughed. 

**"Best be Off, Harry, lots ter do today, gotta get up ter London an' buy all yer stuff fer school."”**

“Will the Dursleys let him?” Remus asked, and James snorted

“I don’t think they have a choice,” he chuckled, and Remus laughed.

**“Harry was turning over the wizard coins and looking at them. He had just thought of something that made him feel as though the happy balloon inside him had got a puncture.”**

“No! No punctures!” Sirius squeaked

“What could possibly be upsetting him now?” James asked, and Lily sighed

“I know,” she said, and they turned to her, “He’s turning over coins; he’s worried about money,” she said, and James chuckled

“He’ll be fine,” he said, and Sirius grinned at James, shaking his head fondly

“What?” Lily asked, and James flushed

“James is a rich kid, remember?” Remus asked, and Lily’s mouth popped open in a comical ‘o’.

**““Um – Hagrid?"**

**"Mm?" said Hagrid, who was pulling on his huge boots.”**

“I wonder how big those boots are,” Sirius mused

“Why?” Lily laughed, “They’re probably massive.”

“I want to try them on,” Sirius said, and James coughed

“But those are Hagrid’s boots,” he said, and Sirius nodded, the unspoken truth dangling in the air between them.

**“"I haven't got any money - and you heard Uncle Vernon last night ... he won't pay for me to go and learn magic."”**

“I told you,” Lily smiled, and James chuckled

**““Don't worry about that," said Hagrid, standing up and scratching his head. "D'yeh think yer parents didn't leave yeh anything?"”**

“And I told _you_ ,” James grinned, and Lily laughed, smacking his arm.

“Lily, even if you hate him, you should marry him,” Remus nodded, “He’s rich,” he winked

“Nice to know you think so little of me,” Lily said bitterly, and Remus laughed.

“So you wouldn’t marry the richest man in the world?” Sirius asked.

“Not if I hated him, no,” she said, shaking her hands.

“What if you were in love with him?” Sirius asked, an the other three looked at him incredulously

“Are you aware that you’re still speaking?” James asked, and Sirius flushed as the others laughed.

**““But if their house was destroyed -"”**

“We wouldn’t keep the money at home!” James laughed

**““They didn' keep their gold in the house, boy! Nah, first stop fer us is Gringotts. Wizards' bank. Have a sausage, they're not bad cold - an' I wouldn' say no teh a bit o' yer birthday cake, neither."”**

“Hagrid!” Lily hissed, “not for breakfast!”

“What?” Sirius squawked, “I _love_ having cake for breakfast!” he said.

“Exactly,” Lily said solemnly, and Remus and James burst out laughing.

**““Wizards have banks?"**

“They’re people too,” Lily laughed, shaking her head

“Honestly, what does he think we do with money?” Remus chuckled

“Probably thinks we can just poof it out of thin air,” Lily laughed, shaking her head, and Remus grinned

“Wouldn’t that be lovely?” he sighed

“ **“Just the one. Gringotts. Run by goblins." Harry dropped the bit of sausage he was holding.”**

“Don’t waste food!” Sirius bellowed, “MERLIN!” he squeaked, slapping his hand to his forehead.

“What?” James asked, bewildered

“I forgot to ask Hagrid for a sausage!” Sirius whined, and the others laughed at him.

**““Goblins?"**

**"Yeah - so yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it, I'll tell yeh that. Never mess with goblins, Harry. Gringotts is the safest place in the world fer anything yeh want ter keep safe - 'cept maybe Hogwarts. As a matter o' fact, I gotta visit Gringotts anyway. Fer Dumbledore. Hogwarts business." Hagrid drew himself up proudly.”**

“I like how Dumbledore makes Hagrid feel so important,” Lily smiled.

“Hagrid _is_ important,” Sirius shot back, and Lily chuckled

“Sorry,” she said, holding her hands up in surrender.

**“"He usually gets me ter do important stuff fer him. Fetchin' you, gettin' things from Gringotts - knows he can trust me, see.**

**"Got everythin'? Come on, then."”**

“Fetching my son is important?” James said in awe

“Of course,” Lily laughed, “He’s famous!”

“He probably has his own entourage waiting in Diagon Alley,” Sirius chuckled

“Doubt it,” Remus laughed, “Hagrid’s entourage enough.”

“Touché,” Sirius laughed

“They didn’t even inform the Dursleys they were leaving?” James laughed

“They were probably eavesdropping anyway,” Lily laughed, “Knowing Petunia, she was listening the whole time, her ear pressed against the door.”

“What do you suppose is going to happen to Dudley’s tail?” Sirius asked curiously, and Lily giggled

“I hope it never goes away,” James said dreamily.

**“Harry followed Hagrid out onto the rock. The sky was quite clear now and the sea gleamed in the sunlight.”**

“It’s symbolic,” Lily said excitedly, and both James and Sirius looked at her incredulously

“It is!” Remus squeaked happily

“And hten there were two,” Sirius said, gesturing to Lily, who was chatting excitedly with Remus about symbolism.

“And I thought Remus was special,” James said, shaking his head, looking at Lily.

“Well, now you cant say that in a negative way,” Sirius said disappointedly

“Oh no! No more jokes about Remus and literature!” James gasped, and Sirius pouted dramatically

“What are we going to do?” he whined, and James shook his head dejectedly

“Honestly you two,” Lily laughed.

**“The boat Uncle Vernon had hired was still there, with a lot of water in the bottom after the storm.”**

“Why hasn’t it sunk?” Sirius asked

“Because there’s no hole,” Lily laughed, “There’s no water constantly floating in, it’s just in there,” she said, and Sirius nodded.

**““How did you get here?" Harry asked, looking around for another boat.**

**"Flew," said Hagrid.”**

“Now _that’s_ an interesting image,” James laughed

“Can you imagine? Looking up to see a Hagrid flying!” Sirius gasped, and Remus looked at him amusedly

“A Hagrid?”

“Wouldn’t you mean a giant?” Lily laughed, and Sirius flushed

“That’s what I meant,” he said, and Lily nodded teasingly.

**“"Flew?"”**

“YES Harry, he flew,” James said, laughing.

“Your son has a knack for asking stupid questions,” Lily said, and James’s eyebrows shot up

“ _My_ son?” he asked, and Lily grinned, nodding.

“If he does anything stupid, he will always be your son,” she said, and James rolled his eyes as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**““Yeah - but we'll go back in this. Not s'pposed ter use magic now I've got yeh."”**

“What?” James whined

“Why?” Sirius asked dejectedly

“Because Hagrids not allowed to use magic?” Remus suggested, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him.

**“They settled down in the boat, Harry still staring at Hagrid, trying to imagine him flying.”**

“Harry!” Lily laughed

“Is he just my son?” James teased, and Lily shook her head

“I’m wondering the same thing,” she giggled, and James grinned.

To Remus and Sirius’s amazement, James lay down, resting his head on Lily’s lap, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 

“I _really_ want to shave this off,” Lily mused, flicking James’s hair, and James grinned up at her.

**““Seems a shame ter row, though," said Hagrid, giving Harry another of his sideways looks. "If I was ter - er - speed things up a bit, would yeh mind not mentionin' it at Hogwarts?"”**

“Hagrid,” Lily chastised, and Sirius chuckled

“Rebel!” James laughed.

**““Of course not," said Harry, eager to see more magic. Hagrid pulled out the pink umbrella again, tapped it twice on the side of the boat, and they sped off toward land.”**

“Like a speedboat,” Lily grinned, “I love those.”

“What’s a speedboat?” Remus asked

“This is going to take way too long to explain,” Lily said, and pulled her wand out, causing James to sit up quickly, “Er, okay?” she laughed, and James grinned at her.

“It’s a reflex,” he said, “years of pain by your wand does that to a person,” he teased, and Lily rolled her eyes, her cheeks tinging pink.

“Here,” she said, and waved her wand, conjuring up a little speedboat in midair, which began to zoom around them.

“Cool!” Sirius laughed, watching the boat zoom around.

“Yeah, and the wind goes _everywhere_ ,” Lily said, grinning nostalgically.

**““Why would you be mad to try and rob Gringotts?" Harry asked.”**

“Use your head Harry!” Sirius said, and Lily raised her eyebrows at him threateningly, “Sorry!”

**““Spells - enchantments," said Hagrid, unfolding his newspaper as he spoke. "They say there's dragons guardin' the highsecurity vaults. And then yeh gotta find yer way - Gringotts is hundreds of miles under London, see. Deep under the Underground. Yeh'd die of hunger tryin' ter get out, even if yeh did manage ter get yer hands on summat."”**

“Way to scare him off,” Remus muttered

“Good,” Lily laughed, “this way I know he’ll never rob Gringotts,” she laughed, and Remus frowned

“I bet he does,” James laughed.

“What?” Lily squeaked, “He is _not_ going to rob Gringotts!”

“We’ll see,” Sirius winked.

**“Harry sat and thought about this while Hagrid read his newspaper, the Daily Prophet. Harry had learned from Uncle Vernon that people liked to be left alone while they did this, but it was very difficult, he'd never had so many questions in his life.”**

“Poor kid,” Sirius said sympathetically

**““Ministry o' Magic messin' things up as usual," Hagrid muttered, turning the page.”**

“I love how he’s teaching Harry all the right things,” James grinned, and Lily rolled her eyes

““ **There's a Ministry of Magic?" Harry asked, before he could stop himself.**

**“'Course," said Hagrid. "They wanted Dumbledore fer Minister, o' course, but he'd never leave Hogwarts, so old Cornelius Fudge got the job. Bungler if ever there was one.”**

“Hagrid!” Lily laughed, “He’s eleven!”

“So?” Sirius asked, “He should know these things.”

“Cornelius Fudge?” James laughed, “That dolt who graduated in third year?” he asked, and Remus snorted

“The very same.”

“Good thing I’m already dead,” James chuckled.

**““So he pelts Dumbledore with owls every morning, askin' fer advice."”**

“Sounds like something he’d do,” Remus laughed, and James rolled his eyes

“I never liked him,” James said, and Sirius winked

“Because he winked at Lily that one time,” Sirius said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

**““But what does a Ministry of Magic do?"”**

“Nothing,” James said.

**“"Well, their main job is to keep it from the Muggles that there's still witches an' wizards up an' down the country."**

**"Why?"”**

“Stop asking such stupid questions!” Lily laughed

“Hey! Don’t call him stupid,” James said, and Lily giggled

“Sorry, forgot he was your son.”

**“"Why? Blimey, Harry, everyone'd be wantin' magic solutions to their problems. Nah, we're best left alone."”**

“Magical solutions _are_ the easiest,” Lily nodded.

**“At this moment the boat bumped gently into the harbor wall. Hagrid folded up his newspaper, and they clambered up the stone steps onto the street.”**

“I cant imagine seeing Hagrid in the street,” Lily said.

“Why? He’d be so easy to see!” Sirius joked, and Lily chuckled

“I meant, outside of Hogwarts,” she said, “Can you imagine? Everyone would go nuts looking at him,” she laughed, and the boys joined in her laughter.

**“Passersby stared a lot at Hagrid as they walked through the little town to the station.”**

“See,” Lily said, and the boys chuckled

“Shut up, muggle,” Sirius said, and Lily gasped as both James and Remus sniggered.

**“Harry couldn't blame them. Not only was Hagrid twice as tall as anyone else, he kept pointing at perfectly ordinary things like parking meters and saying loudly, "See that, Harry. Things these Muggles dream up, eh?"”**

“Oh Hagrid,” Lily laughed.

“What’s a parking meter?” Sirius asked curiously.

“Didn’t you lot take Muggle Studies?” she asked, and the boys shrugged

“We were sitting next to each other,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Of course,” she laughed

**““Hagrid," said Harry, panting a bit as he ran to keep up, "did you say there are dragons at Gringotts?"”**

“Why?” Remus asked

**“"Well, so they say," said Hagrid. "Crikey, I'd like a dragon."”**

“Only you, Hagrid,” James laughed, shaking his head

“I want a dragon!” Sirius said, and Lily giggled

“Well you’re already getting your flying motorbike, so that’s enough for you,” she said, and Sirius grinned dreamily

“Wonder when I’ll get it,” he sighed.

**“"You'd like one?"”**

“Now he’s just repeating everything Hagrid says,” James chuckled, and Lily shook her head fondly.

**“"Wanted one ever since I was a kid - here we go." They had reached the station. There was a train to London in five minutes' time. Hagrid, who didn't understand "Muggle money," as he called it, gave the bills to Harry so he could buy their tickets.””**

“Muggle money is confusing,” Remus nodded, and Lily snorted

“It is not,” she said, shaking her head, “It’s so much easier to carry around as well,” she added.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just defend muggles,” James said sarcastically, and Lily grinned.

**“People stared more than ever on the train. Hagrid took up two seats and sat knitting what looked like a canary-yellow circus tent.”**

“Hagrid knits?” Sirius asked excitedly, “Do you think he’d make me something?” he asked, turning to James, who sniffed

“I bet he’d make Lily something,” he muttered, and Lily laughed

“Jealous?”

“Yes,” James said honestly, and Lily grinned, leaning on his shoulder.

**““Still got yer letter, Harry?" he asked as he counted stitches. Harry took the parchment envelope out of his pocket.”**

“Why?” Sirius asked curiously

“His shopping list is in there,” Lily said, and Sirius nodded.

“Right, forgot about that,” he muttered, and Lily shook her head amusedly.

**““Good," said Hagrid. "There's a list there of everything yeh need."”**

“See,” Lily grinned, and Sirius chuckled

**“Harry unfolded a second piece of paper he hadn't noticed the night before, and read:**

**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY**

**UNIFORM**

**First-year students will require:**

**1\. Three sets of plain work robes (black)**

**2\. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear**

**3\. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)**

**4\. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings) Please note that all pupils' clothes should carry name tags”**

“You notice how boring we are?” Remus grimaced

“How so?” Sirius asked

“Plain work robes, black hat, black winter cloak,” Remus said in a bored voice, “Why are we so dull? Why don’t we have brightly coloured school wear?” he asked, and Sirius laughed

“I like it this way,” Lily smiled, “It’s a lot more magical,” she said, and James chuckled

“We stay in a castle, we have wands, what’s more magical than that?” he teased, and Lily shrugged.

“It seems very posh,” she said, and Sirius grimaced

“We’re private school snobs,” he sighed dejectedly, and Lily laughed.

**“COURSE BOOKS**

**All students should have a copy of each of the following:**

**_The Standard Book of Spells_ ** **(Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk**

**_A History of Magic_ ** **by Bathilda Bagshot**

**_Magical Theory_ ** **by Adalbert Waffling**

**_A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration_ ** **by Emetic Switch**

**_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_ ** **by Phyllida Spore**

**_Magical Drafts and Potions_ ** **by Arsenius Jigger**

**_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ ** **by Newt Scamander**

**_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_ ** **by Quentin Trimble”**

“I loved first year,” Sirius grinned, “Everything was so new,” he laughed

“Sirius? You loved school?” Remus asked incredulously

“No!” Sirius laughed, “I love magic,” he said, and Remus nodded, allowing that.

**“OTHER EQUIPMENT**

**Wand”**

“No shit,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed

“Even muggle children know that that’s required,” she chuckled, shaking her head

**“Cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)**

**Set glass or crystal phials**

**Telescope set**

**Brass scales**

**Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad**

**PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS”**

“Stupid rule,” James muttered

“Do you think he’ll be a Quidditch Player?” Lily asked curiously, and James nodded

“Yes,” he said, and she sighed, “What’s so bad about that?” he asked, slightly hurt

“It’s not _bad_ ,” she said, “It just means he’s going to get hurt,” she said, and James grinned

“You can’t make sure he _never_ gets hurt,” he said, and she shrugged

“I’d like to try,” she grinned, and James snorted, “Plus, he’ll be getting hurt the most,” she said, “Because he’ll be a seeker.”

“Because I’m one?” James asked, and Lily shook her head

“He has the build for it,” she said, and James’s eyebrows shot up

“And you know this because…?” he asked, and Lily flushed

“Lily! Are you a Quidditch fan?” Sirius asked, grinning slowly, and Lily shook her head quickly

“I think she is,” Remus grinned.

“Can we move on from this, please?” Lily squeaked, and the boys grinned happily.

**“"Can we buy all this in London?" Harry wondered aloud.**

**"If yeh know where to go," said Hagrid.”**

“Diagon Alley,” Remus said, and Sirius laughed

“Thank you Captain Obvious,” Sirius saluted, and Remus flushed.

**“Harry had never been to London before.”**

James grimaced, “And he’s lived there all his life, shame,” he sighed.

“We’ll take him tons!” Sirius declared happily.

**“Although Hagrid seemed to know where he was going, he was obviously not used to getting there in an ordinary way. He got stuck in the ticket barrier on the Underground, and complained loudly that the seats were too small and the trains too slow.”**

“He sounds like a spoilt brat,” Lily laughed, and the boys grinned

“He really does,” Sirius agreed, “shame on you Hagrid!”

**“"I don't know how the Muggles manage without magic," he said as they climbed a broken-down escalator that led up to a bustling road lined with shops.”**

“I agree,” Sirius said solemnly

“I actually have no idea how I survived without it,” Lily said, shaking her head in amazement, “I hate going home,” she said

“Why?” the boys asked

“Because I’m cut off from magic all together,” she said, “And I have to do things the muggle way,” she said, and the boys grimaced, causing her to laugh, “Try washing dishes manually,” she said, and the boys groaned

“That’s _terrible_ ,” James groaned, and Lily giggled.

**“Hagrid was so huge that he parted the crowd easily; all Harry had to do was keep close behind him. They passed bookshops and music stores, hamburger restaurants and cinemas, but nowhere that looked as if it could sell you a magic wand.”**

“It wouldn’t be on a common muggle street!” Sirius laughed

“Use your brain Harry,” James laughed, “I know you have one.”

“Because yours is so extensive?” Lily teased, and James stuck his tongue out at her as his friends roared with laughter.

**“This was just an ordinary street full of ordinary people. Could there really be piles of wizard gold buried miles beneath them?”**

“Yes,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

**“Were there really shops that sold spell books and broomsticks?”**

“Yes,” James said, and Lily turned to him irritably, only receiving a cheeky grin.

**“Might this not all be some huge joke that the Dursleys had cooked up?”**

“It’s not,” Remus laughed, shaking his head

“Honestly! Why are you answering all these questions?” Lily inquired, looking at the three boys, who only grinned at her.

“Lils, have you seen your face?” James asked, and Lily flushed as three boys laughed at her.

**“If Harry hadn't known that the Dursleys had no sense of humor, he might have thought so; yet somehow, even though everything Hagrid had told him so far was unbelievable, Harry couldn't help trusting him.”**

“That would be the cruelest joke _ever_ ,” Sirius declared, horrified

“Can you imagine?” Remus squeaked, “I would feel so bad for him!”

“I kno-“

“Hey!” Remus yelled, “Where is my chocolate?” he asked, and both James and Sirius burst out laughing.

“It’s about time!” James laughed, and Lily got off his shoulder, grinning.

“We hid it _ages_ ago,” Sirius laughed

“GIVE ME MY CHOCOLATE!” Remus yelled, and the others grinned

“You have to find it,” Lily winked, and Remus gasped

“You were a part of this?” he squeaked, and Lily laughed, nodding.

“It was my idea,” she said, and Remus clutched his heart

“What have they _done_ to you?” he asked, and Lily shook her head

“That’s not going to work,” she said, and Remus huffed, crossing his arms.

“Bollocks, I thought that was a good method,” he said, and Lily laughed

“It would’ve worked a few days ago,” she assured him, and Remus snorted.

“Where’s my chocolate?” he asked Sirius, who shrugged, grinning devilishly.

**“"This is it," said Hagrid, coming to a halt, "the Leaky Cauldron. It's a famous place."”**

“I cant believe he’s never been to the Leaky,” Sirius said disappointedly, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Sirius, he didn’t know it existed,” Lily said, exasperated, and Sirius shrugged

“That’s no excuse,” he said, and Lily turned to James, who chuckled.

**“It was a tiny, grubby-looking pub. If Hagrid hadn't pointed it out, Harry wouldn't have noticed it was there.”**

“That’s the magic of it,” Sirius said dreamily

“Sirius, will you stop interrupting _yourself_ and read the story?” Lily asked, and Sirius winked at her

“Only for you, love,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He sounds so high maintenance,” James chuckled, and Lily raised her eyebrows at him

“James, he lived in a cupboard,” she said, and Sirius burst out laughing.

“He called it grubby-looking!” he said, and Lily shrugged

“It is grubby-looking,” she said, and he huffed

“I don’t want a high maintenance child,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Once again, James, he spent most of his life living in a _cupboard_ ,” she said, “I doubt his standards are that high,” she said, and James grinned, giving into her argument.

**“The people hurrying by didn't glance at it. Their eyes slid from the big bookshop on one side to the record shop on the other as if they couldn't see the Leaky Cauldron at all.”**

“That’s because they can’t,” Lily said, and James grinned

“How do you know this?” he asked

“My parents can’t see it,” she said, and James’s eyebrows shot up

“How on earth did you go shopping?” he asked, and Lily laughed

“I had to drag them into it,” she said, “Only then they noticed.”

“They must’ve thought you were going mad,” Sirius laughed, and Lily nodded, grinning

“Not talking, are we Moony?” James said looking at Remus, who huffed and crossed his arms tightly.

“Yeah, that’s not going to work either,” Sirius said, and turned back to the book as Remus groaned.

**“In fact, Harry had the most peculiar feeling that only he and Hagrid could see it.”**

“Well, you, Hagrid and the rest of the magical community,” James said, and Lily whacked his arm, “What?” he asked, grinning.

“No cheeky comments,” she said, and James laughed.

“Yes dear.”

“Don’t call me dear,” she said, eyes narrowing

“Sorry darling,” he said, winking, and Lily sighed

“No, don’t call me that either,” she said, and James winked at Sirius, who was shaking with laughter.

“Sure thing honey,” he said, and he scrunched his nose, “Never mind I am never saying that out loud ever again,” he declared, and Lily laughed, leaning on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his right arm.

Sirius turned, bewildered, to face Remus, who was watching the couple with a twinkle in his eyes, but he would not look at Sirius.

**“Before he could mention this, Hagrid had steered him inside.”**

“And he didn’t fall over?” Sirius asked, bewildered.

**“For a famous place, it was very dark and shabby.”**

“Agreed,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed, “Are my interruptions bothering you?” he teased Lily, who nodded, much to his amusement.

“Did you finally get that?” she asked, and Sirius laughed

“No, I just love to irritate you,” he said, grinning sweetly, and Lily looked away from him faux angrily.

**“A few old women were sitting in a corner, drinking tiny glasses of sherry. One of them was smoking a long pipe. A little man in a top hat was talking to the old bartender, who was quite bald and looked like a toothless walnut.”**

“OH MERLIN!” James squeaked, and the other three jumped

“What?” Remus asked, breaking out of his silent streak.

“You gave in,” Sirius grinned, and Remus chose to ignore him.

“Dedulus Diggle is there!” James squeaked, and the other three groaned

“How do you know that?” Lily asked, and James turned to her exasperatedly.

“The little man in the top hat,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world

“Oh sorry, how silly of me,” Lily said sarcastically, and James winked at her.

**“The low buzz of chatter stopped when they walked in. Everyone seemed to know Hagrid; they waved and smiled at him, and the bartender reached for a glass, saying, "The usual, Hagrid?"”**

“I bet Hagrid’s in there a lot,” Sirius mused, “It’s full of strange people.”

“Are you calling Hagrid strange?” Lily teased, and Sirius paled, shaking his head wildly

“He’s not strange!” Sirius squeaked, “He’s just different!”

“In a strange way?” Remus asked, grinning, and Sirius harrumphed, crossing his arms.

“Everyone’s teasing me,” he said, and Lily laughed

“Very good Sirius,” she said, and James chuckled.

**“"Can't, Tom, I'm on Hogwarts business," said Hagrid, clapping his great hand on Harry's shoulder and making Harry's knees buckle.”**

“I know the feeling,” Sirius mumbled, rubbing his knees from the recent falling incident in Hagrids hut.

“I think we all do,” James mumbled, rubbing his forehead, much to Lily’s amusement

“I don’t,” she shrugged, and the boys looked at her incredulously

“He never pats you on the back?” Remus asked, and Lily shook her head

“I mean, he does it softly so I never fall over,” she said, and the boys gasped

“I thought he had no idea how strong he was!” James squeaked

“I think Hagrid has a soft spot for Lily,” Sirius declared, “He writes to her, he doesn’t knock her over…”

“I think you may be right,” Remus said, and Sirius grinned

“James as competition,” he sung, winking at James, who flushed.

“Must you continuously embarrass me?” James asked, and Sirius and Remus looked at each other before answering simultaneously

“Yes.”

**”"Good Lord," said the bartender, peering at Harry, "is this - can this be -?" The Leaky Cauldron had suddenly gone completely still and silent.”**

“I knew this would happen!” James said excitedly, and Lily sighed

“Poor kid,” she said, “He’s only eleven.”

“But he’s famous!” Sirius exclaimed, spreading his arms wide

“Because he didn’t die when his family did,” Lily retorted, and Sirius adopted a sombre expression

“That is sad,” he said, nodding.

**“"Bless my soul," whispered the old bartender, "Harry Potter...what an honor." He hurried out from behind the bar, rushed toward Harry and seized his hand, tears in his eyes. ”**

“That’s pretty dramatic,” Lily said awkwardly, and the boys nodded in agreement

“He’s crying?” James asked, bewildered, “Why would he be crying?”

“Because he’s honoured,” Remus said seriously, and the other three burst out laughing.

“To meet my child?” Lily asked, grinning

“No, to meet mine,” James winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Because you’re oh so special,” she said sarcastically, and James nodded, grinning.

**““Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back.””**

“Thanks,” James said, and Lily snorted as Remus and Sirius howled with laughter.

“They’re not talking to you,” Lily said sardonically.

“Yes, but that’s my name,” James said, grinning proudly.

“It’s also your dad’s name,” Sirius pointed out, and James narrowed his eyes at him as Lily grinned.

“Sirius, I have never loved you more,” she said, and Sirius’s eyebrows shot up, obviously proud of himself, as James and Remus stared at Lily, slack jawed.

“You _love_ him?” Remus squawked, and Lily looked at Remus and James, to Sirius, who was looking worriedly at James, who snorted

“You are making _way_ too big a deal of this,” she laughed, “I don’t actually love him! I love him like a friend,” she said, looking at the boys, who were still looking at her skeptically.

“So you love me, but as a friend?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed.

“I give up,” she said, shaking her head, “I wish you lot were girls,” she mumbled, and James chuckled.

“Really?” he asked, nudging her, “You wish I was a girl?”

“Yes,” she said sternly, and both Remus and Sirius chuckled.

“We’ll discuss this later,” James muttered, and Lily raised her eyebrows.

**“Harry didn't know what to say. Everyone was looking at him. The old woman with the pipe was puffing on it without realizing it had gone out.**

**Hagrid was beaming.”**

“Of course, Hagrid would be enjoying this,” Sirius laughed.

“He loves attention,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head.

“So have you forgotten about your anger?” James teased, and Remus shook his head.

“I figure I’ll just have to tell Lily what your most prized possession is,” Remus replied solemnly, and James paled.

“No!” he squeaked, and Lily looked at him curiously, before turning to Remus

“What is it?” she asked, and Remus grinned evilly.

“No!” James squeaked, “Please!”

“Where is my chocolate?” Remus asked, and James whimpered and turned to Sirius, who grimaced, and walked over to a corner of the Common Room, conjuring the bag from nowhere, and throwing it to the beaming Remus.

“That’s not fair!” Lily moaned, “I was curious!”

“All in good time, my dear,” Remus grinned, winking at Lily, who sighed.

“Do you still wish we were girls?” Sirius teased, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Can we not talk about this anymore?” she asked, and James grinned

“We’ll put it off till later,” he said, and Lily sighed.

**“Then there was a great scraping of chairs and the next moment, Harry found himself shaking hands with everyone in the Leaky Cauldron.”**

“That’s so unsanitary,” Remus commented, stuffing his face with chocolate, his hands covered in it

“Oh, and you are the picture of hygiene, are you?” Lily said sarcastically, and Remus grinned as he licked his fingers.

“That means he’s going to shake hands with Dedalus!” James squealed, and Lily, Remus and Sirius turned to him, alarmed

“Seriously mate, what is up with you and Mr. Diggle?” Sirius asked, bewildered, and James shook his head, grinning like a fool.

“If you tell us what’s between you and Mr. Diggle, Lily will talk to you about the girl thing,” Remus said, and Lily looked at him, alarmed.

“What are _you_ going to do so that he tells you?” she asked, “Because the way I see it, since I’m talking to him about the girl thing, he should tell me, not you two,” she said, and James grinned.

“I agree,” he said, and Lily threw him a sardonic look.

“Shut it,” she advised him, and James grinned.

“That’s not fair!” Sirius whined, and James shrugged.

**““Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter, can't believe I'm meeting you at last."”**

“She’s really weird,” Sirius mused,

“Why?” Lily asked

“Oh! No! I actually know her,” Sirius laughed, and Lily grinned

“Oh, then that’s okay,” she grinned.

“Why is she weird?” Remus asked curiously.

“She just is,” Sirius said.

“Oh, thanks for elaborating,” Remus said sarcastically, “I understand completely,” he said, and Sirius winked as Lily and James laughed.

**“"So proud, Mr. Potter, I'm just so proud."”**

“Of what?” James asked, bewildered.

“I don’t get it!” Sirius squeaked, grabbing his hair in frustration.

“Honored, I understand,” Lily said, “Pleased, I understand as well. Delighted, happy…but _proud_?” Lily exclaimed, and the boys grinned, nodding.

“I love bewildered Lily,” Remus laughed, and Sirius nodded in agreement, as James beamed.

“Oh shut up,” she mumbled, tucking her knees beneath her chin.

**““Always wanted to shake your hand - I'm all of a flutter.””**

“That person is a creep,” James said, his nose scrunched

“‘I’m all of a flutter’?” Sirius said, disgustedly, “Who _says_ that?” he exclaimed, turning to Remus, whose eyebrows shot up

“Why are you looking at me?” he asked, bewildered, causing Lily and James to grin.

“I don’t know! You’re an expert at all this old stuff,” Sirius said cheekily, and Remus gasped

“What?” he squeaked, and Lily burst out laughing, “How am I an _expert?_ ”

“Well, you’re practically an old person,” Sirius shrugged

“WHAT?” Remus bellowed, sitting up straighter, as James joined Lily in hysterics, “I AM NOT!”

“Yes, you are,” Sirius laughed, nodding.

“How so?” Remus asked irritably.

“Well, for one, when you yell, like you are now, you have a vein that pops out in your forehead,” Sirius said, and Remus’s hand flew to his forehead, “secondly, you listen to that awful music,” Sirius said, and Remus gasped.

“There’s nothing wrong with jazz music!” Remus squeaked, and Sirius grinned, shrugging.

“Thirdly, you’re overprotective over little things that children want,” he said, nodding to Remus’s bag of chocolate in his arms.

“That’s different!” Remus yelled, “This is _really_ good chocolate!”

“Fourthly, you read a lot, and I mean, _a lot_ ,” Sirius said, and Lily held up a hand.

“Wait,” she said, “I read a lot.”

“That’s different,” said Sirius, waving it off, “Remus does all the other things as well,” he said, and Lily nodded, grinning, as Remus rolled his eyes.

“And lastly,” Sirius said, and Remus groaned, “You might actually be eligible to apply for the grammar police,” he said, and both Lily and James, who’d been holding their breath in anticipation, burst out laughing.

“I’m leaving,” Remus huffed, holding his hands up and standing up while the other three laughed at him.

“No! No, Remus, don’t!” Lily choked through her laughter, getting off the sofa and standing in front of him, “It was a joke! Come on,” she said, taking his forearm and smiling, “Can’t you take a joke?”

“Fine,” Remus sighed, sitting back down, while James and Sirius looked at Lily in amazement.

“How did you do that?” James asked in awe.

“The magic of kindness,” Lily said sarcastically, falling back down on the sofa, and James grinned at her.

“ **“Delighted, Mr. Potter, just can't tell you, Diggle's the name, Dedalus Diggle.””**

Lily, Sirius and Remus rolled their eyes as James let out a very non-masculine shriek of glee.

“He’s meeting him!” James said excitedly, and Lily slapped her palm to her forehead

“Hurry up and finish the chapter, I want to know what’s going on with James and Mr. Diggle,” Lily said, and the other two groaned

“I want to know!” Sirius whined, glaring at James, who was smiling at Lily. Remus nodded, in agreement with Sirius.

“Well, you’re not telling me anything special,” he said, and Lily snorted

“Why I want you lot to be girls is not special,” Lily said, accentuating the last word, and James shrugged.

“Well, they’re not telling me _anything_ ,” he said, and Lily grinned as Remus stomped his foot angrily.

**““I've seen you before!" said Harry, as Dedalus Diggle's top hat fell off in his excitement.”**

James grinned, and Lily sighed

“James, answer me _one question_ ,” Sirius said, holding up his pointer finger.

“Fine,” James sighed, and Sirius nodded, biting his lip nervously

“Did you, or did you not, have a love affair with Dedalus Diggle?” he asked, and James’s jaw dropped open as Lily and Remus snickered madly.

“NO!” James screamed, and Sirius nodded, breathing in relief.

“Thank you,” Sirius sighed.

“Why? Would you not accept him?” Lily challenged, and Sirius shook his head calmly as Remus sniggered.

“I would, I’d just like to know,” he said, honestly, and James’s features softened

“You would?” he asked, and Sirius grinned and nodded.

“Should we leave them?” Lily asked, turning to Remus, who grinned

“They may need a moment together,” Remus agreed, and both James and Sirius turned away from each other quickly, as Lily and Remus laughed.

“ **“You bowed to me once in a shop.””**

“I KNEW IT WAS HIM!” James squeaked, and Lily groaned

“You’re really irritating me with this,” she said, and James sighed.

“Fine,” he said, “I’ll stop.”

“That’s a lie,” Remus said bluntly, and James threw him an annoyed glance

“Fine, I’ll do it less,” he said, and Remus shook his head, “I’ll try.”

“There you go,” Remus grinned, and Lily laughed as James turned irritably to Sirius.

**““He remembers!" cried Dedalus Diggle, looking around at everyone, "Did you hear that? He remembers me!””**

“That’s actually really sweet,” Lily giggled, and James beamed

“James is glad,” Sirius said, “You have accepted his other lover,” he said faux gleefully, winking at James, who flushed as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Harry shook hands again and again”**

“Argh, I bet his arm is sore,” Sirius shuddered, and Lily turned to Remus, who shrugged

“I’m old, what do I know?” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Sirius laughed.

**“-Doris Crockford kept coming back for more.”**

“She _scares_ me,” Sirius whined, hiding behind a pillow

“Sirius,” Lily said testily, “Keep reading.”

“But I’m _scared_ ,” he squeaked, and Lily pulled her wand out.

“ _Accio book_ ,” she said, and the book started to fly away from Sirius, but he grabbed it quickly, throwing Lily an incredulous look as James and Remus looked at her in awe, “Read, or I’m reading,” she said, and Sirius snorted

“ _You_ are old,” he mumbled, and Lily laughed.

**“A pale young man made his way forward, very nervously. One of his eyes was twitching.”**

“RUN!” James roared, lying down so he was hiding behind Lily’s back.

“What are you doing?” Lily squeaked, leaning forward, so James’s head slipped down to her bum. Lily screamed and stood up as James chuckled, bright red, as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“Isn’t he your husband?” Sirius teased, “As husband, and father of your child, he’s probably going to be-“

“Stop,” Lily instructed, bright red, holding her hand up at Sirius, as James rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “No. More. Talking,” she said, and Sirius chuckled madly.

“He does have a point,” Remus said, “I mean, if it’s going to happen why don’t you just-“

“He is _not_ my husband,” she said angrily.

“Yes he is!” Sirius laughed, and Lily turned purple.

“No,” James grinned, “We’re just friends,” he said, and Lily looked at him, bewildered, as did his friends, “And I’m sorry,” he said to Lily, “Now will you sit down so we can read the book?” he asked, and Lily smiled timidly, and sat down, putting a big gap between herself and James.

**““Professor Quirrell!" said Hagrid.”**

“Eye-twitch man?” Remus said, eyebrow quirked.

“Is that safe?” James asked, turning to Remus, who frowned

“Why would it _not_ be?” he asked

“He’s freaky!” James squeaked, “He twitches!”

“So if I twitched I would be unsafe?” Lily asked, and James bit his lip as Remus and Sirius sniggered.

“Never mind,” James mumbled, “I don’t like him.”

“Thank you for your opinion Mr. Potter,” Sirius said formally, and James rolled his eyes, a smile growing on his face.

**““Harry, Professor Quirrell will be one of your teachers at Hogwarts."”**

“Good luck, young Harry,” James said, “I have a bad feeling about him.”

“He’s different,” Lily said soothingly, “Your bad feeling will pass.”

“We’ll see,” James said, and Lily giggled, unknowingly shifting closer to him.

“ **“P-P-Potter," stammered Professor Quirrell, grasping Harry's hand, "c-can't t-tell you how p-pleased I am to meet you."”**

“You should be,” James said, jaw clenched.

“Mate, let it go,” Sirius muttered, shaking his head.

“ **“What sort of magic do you teach, Professor Quirrell?"”**

“Aw,” Lily grinned, “He’s so polite!”

“Dream come true,” Remus muttered sarcastically, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the three boys grinned at her.

**“"D-Defense Against the D-D-Dark Arts," muttered Professor Quirrell, as though he'd rather not think about it, "N-not that you n-need it, eh, P-P-Potter."”**

“I bet you do,” Sirius laughed, “He sounds bloody frightened.”

**“He laughed nervously.”**

“Nervous,” Remus laughed, “Not frightened.”

“He’s probably afraid Harry will kill him with his super powers,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, and James and Lily laughed

“Or he could destroy him with the power of politeness and manners,” James said sarcastically, winking at Lily, who gasped, affronted, as Sirius and Remus howled with laughter.

“That’s so mean!” she squeaked, slapping his arm, “There’s nothing wrong with politeness and manners!”

“Exactly,” Sirius laughed, “It’s a power for the force of good,” he assured, her, and Lily snorted, turning away from him, and crossing her arms and legs as the boys laughed at her,

**““You'll be g-getting all your equipment, I suppose. I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book on vampires, m-myself."”**

“That’s odd,” Remus muttered

“Well, some people are just fascinated by them,” Lily shrugged

“Or bloody paranoid,” James added, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“Why are you so determined not to like him?” she asked, and he shrugged.

“I just have a bad feeling about him,” he said, and Lily sighed.

**“He looked terrified at the very thought.”**

James threw Lily a smug look, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Fine, he was paranoid,” she said, and he nodded, patting her shoulder.

**“But the others wouldn't let Professor Quirrell keep Harry to himself.”**

“Thanks for that,” James grinned, and Lily laughed

“At least we knew who he was,” she said, “these people might be unsanitary!”

“Merlin forbid,” Remus shuddered, and Lily beamed at him.

**“It took almost ten minutes to get away from them all. At last, Hagrid managed to make himself heard over the babble.”**

“Shouldn’t have been too difficult,” James laughed

“Right?” Sirius laughed, “You can hear Hagrid from across the world!”

“No, you cant,” said Lily, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her as the others laughed.

“It was a _figure of speech_ ,” he said, “I’m trying to speak your language here,” he winked, and James burst out laughing as Lily and Remus exchanged incredulous looks.

**““Must get on - lots ter buy. Come on, Harry."”**

“We’re more than halfway through the chapter entitled Diagon Alley, and he hasn’t even entered Diagon Alley yet,” Sirius said, amused.

“What’s so funny about that?” Lily asked, and Sirius shrugged

“It’s just stupid, is all,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, “What? It should’ve been entitled ‘The Leaky Cauldron’ if that’s what it was on,” he said, and Lily grinned as Remus shook his head and James chuckled.

“Infallible logic mate,” James said, and Sirius grinned

“Bloody brilliant, really,” Remus said sarcastically, and Lily laughed.

**“Doris Crockford shook Harry's hand one last time,”**

“Oh my lord,” Sirius said, throwing his arms up in frustration, causing Lily, James and Remus to burst out laughing.

“Why don’t you take a breath?” James suggested, grinning, and Sirius huffed, and threw the book at Lily, who caught it surprising skill, right before it hit her face.

“You get to read,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“Finally,” she teased, and Sirius rolled his eyes, failing to restrain a grin.

**“and Hagrid led them through the bar and out into a small, walled courtyard, where there was nothing but a trash can and a few weeds.”**

Sirius let out a dreamy sigh, and both James and Remus shuddered

“What?” Lily asked, and James shook his head, covering her mouth with his hand

“Don’t ask him to talk about it again,” he said, and Lily raised an eyebrow at him, “That’s where Sirius-“

“Don’t!” Remus squeaked, and Lily frowned, before shrugging.

**“Hagrid grinned at Harry.”**

“I want to visit him again,” Sirius whined, and Remus sighed

“We’ll go after this chapter,” he said, and Lily laughed

“We were _just_ there!”

“Not you,” Remus said, “Sirius and I,” eh said, and Sirius grinned at Remus, who winked back.

“Er, okay?” Lily said, looking back down at the book as Remus and Sirius gave James two thumbs up, which he received with a grin.

**““Told yeh, didn't I? Told yeh you was famous. Even Professor Quirrell was tremblin' ter meet yeh”**

“He’s probably always trembling,” Sirius laughed.

**“-mind you, he's usually tremblin'."”**

Sirius burst out laughing and Lily shook her head, smiling, as James and Remus chuckled.

“Well predicted,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“Hagrid’s hilarious,” he said, “I’m so glad it was Hagrid and not, McGonagall or someone, who had to go get him,” he said, and James nodded in agreement

“Can you imagine how scared he would be?” James asked, and Lily shook her head ponderingly

“I bet she’d be really nice,” she said, and the boys frowned at her, “You’ve never met the nice McGonagall,” she said, and their eyebrows shot up

“There’s a nice McGonagall?” Sirius asked, bewildered, and Lily laughed and nodded

“She’s nice when you’re not constantly teasing and pulling pranks in her class,” she said, and Sirius grinned.

“Ah well, I guess we’ll never meet her then,” he said dramatically, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus sniggered.

**““Is he always that nervous?"**

**"Oh, yeah. Poor bloke. Brilliant mind.”**

“Doubtful,” James muttered, and Lily threw him a sardonic look, causing him to shut up.

**“He was fine while he was studyin' outta books but then he took a year off ter get some firsthand experience.... They say he met vampires in the Black Forest, and there was a nasty bit o' trouble with a hag - never been the same since. Scared of the students, scared of his own subject - now, where's me umbrella?"”**

“Poor guy,” Remus said sadly, “Can you imagine running into Vampires and Hags?” he asked, “I’d be frightened.”

“Yes, but why would he still be frightened?” James challenged

“It was a traumatic experience!” Lily said, “It changes people!”

“Why would he be scared of the students?” Sirius laughed, “We’re not there anymore!”

“Wonder if there are any troublemakers,” James mused, “Hopefully there are.”

“Fingers crossed, mate,” Sirius said, shaking his head fondly, “Someone has to carry on in our footsteps!”

**“Vampires? Hags? Harry's head was swimming. Hagrid, meanwhile, was counting bricks in the wall above the trash can.”**

“Surely he’s heard of them before,” James said, and Lily grinned

“Yes, but he’s known them to be mythical creatures,” she explained, “imagine finding out something you thought was not real, was,” she said, and James nodded.

“Makes sense,” he said.

**“"Three up... two across” he muttered.”**

“I always get that wrong,” Sirius muttered, and James laughed

“You got some _random_ numbers last time!” he said, “What was it?” eh asked, turning to Remus, who snorted

“Seven to the right and one down,” he muttered, “complete idiocy,” he added, and Sirius snorted as James and Lily laughed.

**“"Right, stand back, Harry." He tapped the wall three times with the point of his umbrella.”**

“That pretty much _tells_ us that his wand is in his umbrella,” James laughed, and the others nodded, grinning.

“ **The brick he had touched quivered - it wriggled - in the middle, a small hole appeared - it grew wider and wider - a second later they were facing an archway large enough even for Hagrid, an archway onto a cobbled street that twisted and turned out of sight.”**

“Your son is so poetic,” Sirius laughed, and James grinned.

“He is,” he laughed.

“He just called Hagrid large,” Remus laughed, and Lily smiled

“It’s a fact,” she said, and Remus shrugged

“Still funny,” he said, and Lily grinned.

**““Welcome," said Hagrid, "to Diagon Alley." He grinned at Harry's amazement. They stepped through the archway. Harry looked quickly over his shoulder and saw the archway shrink instantly back into solid wall.”**

“Merlin! This kid notices everything,” Remus said in awe.

“It’s amazing,” Lily nodded, impressed.

“It’s because he’s a poet,” Sirius added, and the two turned to him with sardonic expression while James chuckled

**“The sun shone brightly on a stack of cauldrons outside the nearest shop.**

**Cauldrons - All Sizes - Copper, Brass, Pewter, Silver - Self-Stirring - Collapsible, said a sign hanging over them.”**

“He needs one of those,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“Really?” she asked, and both James and Remus laughed

“He has to get his money first,” James said

**“"Yeah, you'll be needin' one," said Hagrid, "but we gotta get yer money first."”**

“Fine,” James said faux irritably, and Lily giggled

“Hagrid can read your minds,” she assured him sarcastically

“I know!” Sirius squeaked, “He took those words from us,” he told James, and who chuckled

“No, I don’t speak like that,” he said, and Sirius snorted as Remus laughed and Lily shook her head fondly.

“He adapted our words, then,” Sirius said, laughing.

**“Harry wished he had about eight more eyes.”**

“Don’t wish that, that’s just kind of scary,” Lily said, and James laughed

“Would you love him if he had ten eyes?” he asked, and Lily nodded

“But I’d prefer if he didn’t,” she said, and the boys laughed, “I cant have my son resembling a spider,” she said sternly, and Sirius laughed

“He’s going to have four eyes anyway, thanks to James,” he said, and James gasped as Lily and Remus burst out laughing at his expense.

**“He turned his head in every direction as they walked up the street,”**

“Don’t do that, mini-Prongs,” Sirius laughed, “You’ll get dizzy and fall over.”

“Do you know this from experience?” Lily teased, and Sirius reddened as James and Remus sniggered.

“Maybe,” he mumbled, and Lily grinned.

**“trying to look at everything at once: the shops, the things outside them, the people doing their shopping. A plump woman outside an Apothecary was shaking her head as they passed, saying, "Dragon liver, seventeen Sickles an ounce, they're mad...."”**

“WHAT?” Lily squeaked, “seventeen Sickles an ounce? Bloody hell,” she said, shaking her head incredulously

“She’s the perfect housewife,” Sirius said, winking at Lily, who glared at him while James and Remus coughed to hide their laughter.

“That’s _ridiculous_ ,” she said, and James chuckled

“I agree, for the record,” he said, and Lily smiled at him

“ _Thank_ you,” she said, and threw Sirius a dirty look.

“He called a woman plump,” Remus sniggered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“It’d be hypocritical for me to say anything,” she muttered, “considering we were making multiple fat jokes.”

“Ahh, good times,” Sirius said teasingly, and Lily rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

**“A low, soft hooting came from a dark shop with a sign saying Eeylops Owl Emporium - Tawny, Screech, Barn, Brown, and Snowy.”**

“I _love_ snowy owls,” Lily smiled, cocking her head to the side, “They’re so pretty.”

“I like Tawny’s,” Remus said seriously, and Lily shrugged

“I agree with Lily,” Sirius said, and her eyebrows shot up, “Oh get over yourself,” he laughed, “They’re just so _white_.”

“I know, right?” she asked, grinning like a child.

“I’ve always liked the Screech owls,” James said, and the other three turned him, “It was a joke?” he said, after a few moments of them looking at him as if he belonged in St. Mungos.

“Hilarious,” Sirius said sarcastically, and Lily giggled.

**“Several boys of about Harry's age had their noses pressed against a window with broomsticks in it.”**

“Go join them!” James urged excitedly

“No, he’s going to get his money, and he’s going to buy his school supplies,” Lily said, and James sighed.

“When he’s alive, I am going to take him to broomstick stores,” he said, and Lily groaned

“Do you have to?”

“Yes,” he assured her in such a tone that she dared not argue.

**“"Look," Harry heard one of them say, "the new Nimbus Two Thousand - fastest ever -"”**

James and Sirius groaned lustfully

“I want one,” James groaned longingly

“I know, mate,” Sirius sighed

**“There were shops selling robes, shops selling telescopes and strange silver instruments Harry had never seen before, windows stacked with barrels of bat spleens and eels' eyes, tottering piles of spell books, quills, and rolls of parchment, potion bottles, globes of the moon....”**

“Honestly, he’s such a poet,” Sirius said incredulously, “He made a pile of spell books intriguing,” he said.

“He called the stacks tottering,” Lily said, shaking her head fondly, and Sirius shrugged,

“He made that description interesting,” he smiled, and Lily chuckled.

**““Gringotts," said Hagrid.**

**“They had reached a snowy white building that towered over the other little shops. Standing beside its burnished bronze doors, wearing a uniform of scarlet and gold, was - "Yeah, that's a goblin," said Hagrid quietly as they walked up the white stone steps toward him.”**

“That was _really_ well described,” Remus gasped, clearly impressed

“And from an offspring of James, too,” Sirius nodded in agreement, and James snorted as Lily laughed.

“Honestly,” Remus said, “the offspring of a person who describes things as ‘nice’,” he said, and Lily laughed as James flushed.

“It’s okay,” she said, patting his arm sympathetically, “I think it’s nice,” she said, and James shook his head fondly as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“The goblin was about a head shorter than Harry.”**

“Merlin this child is small,” James muttered, and Lily turned to him, amused

“He’s eleven,” she said, and James shrugged, “Oh forget it, you lot are useless,” she muttered, as all three boys shot her incredulous looks.

**“He had a swarthy, clever face, a pointed beard and, Harry noticed, very long fingers and feet. He bowed as they walked inside. Now they were facing a second pair of doors, silver this time, with words engraved upon them:**

**_Enter, stranger, but take heed_ **

**_Of what awaits the sin of greed,_ **

**_For those who take, but do not earn,_ **

**_Must pay most dearly in their turn._ **

**_So if you seek beneath our floors_ **

**_A treasure that was never yours,_ **

**_Thief, you have been warned, beware_ **

**_Of finding more than treasure there._ ** **”**

Lily looked down at the book curiously, “I bet he robs it,” she said bluntly, and the boys choked

“What?” James squeaked, “He’s not going to rob Gringotts!”

“I bet he will,” she mused, “Otherwise that little poem wont be important,” she said, and James looked bewildered, at Sirius, who returned his shocked gaze.

“Lily, he’s eleven! I doubt he’s going to rob it,” Sirius squeaked, and Lily shrugged

“Maybe not when he’s eleven, but sometime,” she said, and Sirius turned to Remus, who was frowning

“She has a point,” he said, looking at James, whose jaw dropped, “I mean, why mention it then?”

“Maybe he’s just observant!” James squeaked, “He’s not stupid. He wont rob Gringotts.”

“We’ll see,” Lily said in a vague voice, and cleared her throat, focusing on the book.

**““Like I said, Yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it," said Hagrid.”**

“Look, if Hagrid’s told him he’d be mad to rob it, I doubt he would,” Sirius said, and James nodded in agreement.

“I’m not saying he will,” Remus said, “I’m saying that it’s a possibility based on the fact that the poem was mentioned at all,” he explained.

“There is no possibility!” James said, “he’s no felon!”

“No!” Lily squeaked, turning to him, “I’m not saying he is! I’m just saying, I bet he does,” she said, “I doubt it’d be felony, but for a good reason.”

“What good reason is there to rob?” Sirius asked, rendering Lily speechless

“Exactly,” James said, and Lily sighed

“You’ll see,” she said.

**“A pair of goblins bowed them through the silver doors and they were in a vast marble hall. About a hundred more goblins were sitting on high stools behind a long counter, scribbling in large ledgers, weighing coins in brass scales, examining precious stones through eyeglasses.”**

“It’s actually really cool to see what they’re doing,” Remus said, “I remember going in there and just standing there and watching this goblin work,” he said, and James grinned

“That’s really creepy,” he said, and Remus chuckled.

“It was,” he agreed, “My dad didn’t want me going on the cart, he said I’d get dizzy,” he said, rolling his eyes, and Sirius laughed

“Weak stomach, Remus?”

“No,” Remus laughed, “ _He_ had a weak stomach, so he just assumed I’d throw up,” he said, and the other three laughed

“I’ve actually never been inside Gringotts,” Lily said, and the boys turned to her

“Really?” James asked, and Lily nodded

“Why not?” Sirius asked

“Well, my parents are muggles, we don’t have a vault or anything,” she shrugged, and Sirius bit his lip

“I keep forgetting you didn’t grow up like we did,” he said, gesturing to James and Remus

“Does it matter?” Lily asked, and Sirius grinned, shaking his head

“It’s just interesting,” he said, “I mean, you get both worlds. Most people just get one,” he said, and Lily smiled slightly

“I guess you’re right,” she said.

“We’ll take you into Gringotts,” James said, “You should go inside!”

“What’s the point?” she asked, and he shrugged, “What’ll I do there?”

“Come with us to our vaults,” he said, and Lily chuckled.

“Fine,” she said, and James grinned.

“For the record,” Remus said, “That’s a bloody accurate description of the place,” he said, nodding to the book, and Lily grinned.

“I feel like I’ve already been there,” she said sarcastically, and Remus laughed.

**“There were too many doors to count leading off the hall, and yet more goblins were showing people in and out of these. Hagrid and Harry made for the counter.”**

“Question,” Sirius said, and they turned to him, “how’s Harry going to access his money?”

“Er, well, when they, uhm, died,” Remus said awkwardly, “They probably left a will, or something.”

“Leaving everything to Harry, yes,” James said, smiling at Remus.

“What about the key?” Sirius asked, and James bit his lip

“I bet Dumbledore found it,” James said awkwardly.

“Probably,” Sirius said, noticing how awkward James was getting.

**““Morning," said Hagrid to a free goblin. "We've come ter take some money outta Mr. Harry Potter's safe."”**

“Mr. Harry Potter’s safe,” Sirius laughed.

“What’s so funny about that?” Lily asked curiously, and Sirius shook his head

“I don’t know, just the way he said it,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes fondly as James and Remus laughed.

**“"You have his key, Sir?"”**

“Weird, isn’t it?” Sirius asked, turning to James, “To hear them talking about your safe as someone else’s?”

“It’s not really someone else’s,” James pointed out, and Sirius shrugged

“Do you think it’s the whole Potter safe, or just yours?” Remus asked curiously, and James rubbed the back of his neck

“Well, I’m not aware of whether or not my parents are alive,” he said, “I mean, they’re probably not, since Harry wasn’t left to them,” he grimaced, “So I’d bet it was the entire Potter safe.”

“Oh no,” Sirius groaned, “he’s going to be a rich kid too,” he said solemnly, and Lily and Remus laughed as James threw a cushion at Sirius, who laughed.

**“"Got it here somewhere," said Hagrid, and he started emptying his pockets onto the counter, scattering a handful of moldy dog biscuits over the goblin's book of numbers. The goblin wrinkled his nose.”**

“I don’t blame him,” Lily laughed, “He’s making a mess on the poor goblins desk!”

“Poor Goblin?” Sirius asked skeptically, “Lily, goblins are cruel. Don’t you pay attention in History of Magic?” he asked, and Lily snorted

“Do you?” she retorted, and Sirius grinned as Remus and James laughed

“No, but I hear some things,” he said, and Lily laughed.

**“Harry watched the goblin on their right weighing a pile of rubies as big as glowing coals.”**

“I want one,” Lily gasped, and the boys turned to her, alarmed, “No! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not that kind of girl,” she grinned

“Didn’t think so,” James laughed, very obviously relieved

“Why do you want one then?” Sirius asked curiously, and Lily shrugged

“I’ve always loved rubies,” she said, “there’s something about them,” she said, shaking her head, and James bit his lip thoughtfully.

**““Got it," said Hagrid at last, holding up a tiny golden key.”**

“It’s a wonder he found it,” James chuckled.

“Why?” Lily asked curiously

“It’s a little smaller than your pinky finger,” he said, and Lily’s eyes widened

“How have you never lost it?” she asked, and James shrugged

“We’re magic, we can just Accio it,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes, amused.

**“The goblin looked at it closely.**

**"That seems to be in order."”**

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Sirius snorted.

**““An' I've also got a letter here from Professor Dumbledore," said Hagrid importantly, throwing out his chest.”**

“Whoa,” Remus said, “What does Dumbledore want?”

“Shush,” Lily said, “Let’s find out.”

**““It's about the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen."”**

“What is in vault number seven hundred and thirteen?” James asked curiously

“The Sorcerer’s Stone,” Lily replied simply, and Sirius choked

“ _How_ do you know this?” he asked, bewildered, turning to James, “How does she know this?”

“It’s the title of the book,” Lily laughed, as James shook his head dumbly, “the stone had to come in sometime,” she grinned, and all three boys reddened

“I feel stupid,” Remus groaned, and Sirius gasped

“The world is _ending_ ,” he said, and Remus rolled his eyes as Lily, James and Sirius laughed.

**“The goblin read the letter carefully.”**

“Yeah, because it’s dangerous,” Sirius said sarcastically, and Lily huffed, turning to him irritably, “Sorry?” he laughed

“No, I don’t care if you interrupt,” she said irritably, “But if you’re going to interrupt with a joke, at least make it funny,” she said, and looked back down at the book as James and Remus covered up snickers as Sirius sat there, speechless, with his mouth open like a fish.

**“"Very well," he said, handing it back to Hagrid, "I will have someone take you down to both vaults. Griphook!"”**

“I know that goblin!” Remus said, “he showed me to my vault last time!”

“Really?” James asked curiously, “What’s he still doing there?”

“Well, how many jobs are goblins offered?” Remus asked, and James flushed

“Right,” he said, as Lily giggled.

**“Griphook was yet another goblin.”**

“Really?” Sirius gasped sarcastically, and Lily giggled, “Am I forgiven?” he teased, and Lily nodded, smiling.

“I’m proud of you,” she said teasingly, and Sirius swelled with pride.

**“Once Hagrid had crammed all the dog biscuits back inside his pockets, he and Harry followed Griphook toward one of the doors leading off the hall.”**

“See, I don’t understand why he carries those around in his pockets,” Lily said, “I mean, his dogs back at Hogwarts, why does he need the biscuits when picking up Harry?” she asked, and the boys shrugged

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Sirius said, “We’ll ask him when we visit,” he said, gesturing between himself and Remus, who nodded.

“Thanks,” Lily said sarcastically, and the boys chuckled.

**“"What's the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen?" Harry asked.”**

“This kid is _really_ straight about things, isn’t he?” Remus chuckled.

“I like him,” Sirius laughed, nodding.

“At least he doesn’t beat around the bush,” James said, and Lily smiled.

“ **"Can't tell yeh that," said Hagrid mysteriously. "Very secret. Hogwarts business. Dumbledore's trusted me. More'n my job's worth ter tell yeh that."”**

“I hate it when Hagrid tells me he can’t tell me something,” Sirius said,

“I know,” said James, shaking his head sadly, “It makes you want to know more!”

“Yeah, and you two try and trick it out of him, every time,” Remus chuckled, and the two boys nodded.

“And it works,” Sirius winked, and Lily laughed

“You find out secret Hogwarts business, by tricking Hagrid?” she asked, and both James and Sirius nodded proudly.

“S’not something to be proud of,” Remus said sternly, “That’s bad. You two could get expelled for knowing most of the things you know.”

“Oh!” Lily said interestedly, “What do you know?”

“Lily!” Remus squeaked indignantly, and Lily shrugged

“What?” she asked innocently, “I’m curious!”

“We’ve had a terrible influence on you,” Sirius said, sounding thrilled, “If I’d known you were this brilliant I would’ve befriended you ages ago!” he said, and Lily flushed.

“Er, thanks.”

**“Griphook held the door open for them. Harry, who had expected more marble, was surprised.”**

“I know, I was too,” James said.

**“They were in a narrow stone passageway lit with flaming torches.”**

“What?” Lily asked incredulously, “Really?”

“Yep,” Sirius said, obviously having warmed up to Lily a considerable amount.

**“It sloped steeply downward and there were little railway tracks on the floor. Griphook whistled and a small cart came hurtling up the tracks toward them. They climbed in - Hagrid with some difficulty - and were off.”**

“That sounds like so much fun!” Lily smiled.

“You surprise me all the time,” James said, grinning at her.

“It sounds like a ride at a theme park or something,” she said happily, and the boys frowned

“Theme Park?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded.

“You know, you say I missed out not growing up in the magical world,” she said, “But I think you lot missed out,” she said honestly, and they looked at her incredulously, “I mean, you’ve never been to a theme park! What kind of childhood is that?” she asked, and the boys looked at each other awkwardly

“Well, you should take us, then,” Sirius said, very sensitive on the topic of childhoods

“I will,” she assured them, and James grinned.

**“At first they just hurtled through a maze of twisting passages. Harry tried to remember, left, right, right, left, middle fork, right, left, but it was impossible.”**

“Yeah, you’re never going to remember it,” Sirius said, and Lily grinned

“Challenge accepted,” she said, and Sirius barked a laugh as James and Remus chuckled

“Were you always this fun?” Sirius asked, and Lily bit her lip

“I changed a lot after Alice left,” she said, “I haven’t been the same.”

“Were you like this when Alice was here?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged

“I think so.”

“We missed out,” Remus sighed, and Lily smiled

“That’s sweet of you to say,” she said, and Remus shrugged

“Not just saying it.”

“I wouldn’t have been friends with you anyway,” she shrugged, “Not with James around,” she said, and James rolled his eyes, smiling, as she nudged him, and Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“The rattling cart seemed to know its own way, because Griphook wasn't steering.”**

“It does,” James nodded

“How does it do that?” Sirius asked

“It’s enchanted,” James said, rolling his eyes, causing Lily and Remus to chuckle.

“No, I mean, does it just _know_ who’s in the cart? Or is there a code?”

“I have no idea,” James said honestly, and turned to Remus, who shook his head. Remus turned to Lily, who shook her head, and Sirius sighed

“I have to find this out someday,” he said.

“Add it to your list,” James said, and Sirius nodded

“He has a list?” Lily asked, amused, and Remus nodded, rolling his eyes, causing her to giggle. 

**“Harry's eyes stung as the cold air rushed past them, but he kept them wide open.”**

“Cute,” Lily smiled, and James chuckled.

**“Once, he thought he saw a burst of fire at the end of a passage and twisted around to see if it was a dragon, but too late - they plunged even deeper,”**

“Does that sound dirty to you?” Sirius said suggestively, and Lily groaned as James and Remus roared with laughter

“Really?” she asked, and Sirius nodded, obviously pleased with himself as Lily started to giggle.

**“passing an underground lake where huge stalactites and stalagmites grew from the ceiling and floor.**

**”I never know," Harry called to Hagrid over the noise of the cart, "what's the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?"”**

“Stalagmite’s grow from the floor and stalactites from the ceiling,” Lily said, and the boys looked at her, bewildered

“You actually know that?” Sirius asked, and Lily grinned

“Obviously,” she said, and he chuckled, as did James and Remus.

“That’s so interesting,” James murmured, “How did you know?”

“I read,” Lily shrugged.

“What? The dictionary?” James teased, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him playfully as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

“I doubt Hagrid knows the answer to that,” Sirius chuckled, and Lily grinned.

**“"Stalagmite's got an 'm' in it," said Hagrid.”**

“Well done,” Remus laughed, as Lily shook her head fondly and James and Sirius rolled around in hysterics.

“It’s _one_ answer,” Sirius wheezed.

“He didn’t ask difference in meanings,” James agreed, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You lot would’ve said the same thing,” she grinned, and the three boys nodded honestly.

**“"An' don' ask me questions just now, I think I'm gonna be sick."”**

“That is a nasty feeling,” Sirius shuddered

“Do you have a weak stomach?” Remus teased, and Sirius nodded, laughing.

“Then you can’t come to the theme park,” Lily said, and Sirius’s jaw dropped

“I don’t have a weak stomach!” he insisted as James and Remus laughed

**“He did look very green, and when the cart stopped at last beside a small door in the passage wall, Hagrid got out and had to lean against the wall to stop his knees from trembling.”**

“Wouldn’t you be frightened if Hagrid fell down next to you?” Sirius asked, “I mean, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

“I agree,” James chuckled, “I couldn’t help him up, and I’d probably fall over from the force.”

**“Griphook unlocked the door. A lot of green smoke came billowing out, and as it cleared, Harry gasped. Inside were mounds of gold coins. Columns of silver. Heaps of little bronze Knuts.”**

Lily’s mouth popped open and she turned to James incredulously, to see that he was flushing awkwardly.

“I knew you were rich, but not _that_ rich,” she said incredulously, and James chuckled weakly

“Would you have gone out with me if you’d known?” he teased, and Lily rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

“Not that kind of person,” she said, “I’d still reject you just as harshly,” she said, grinning.

“Oh, thanks,” James said, and Lily grinned.

**“"All yours," smiled Hagrid.**

**All Harry's - it was incredible. The Dursleys couldn't have known about this or they'd have had it from him faster than blinking.”**

“They wouldn’t have _touched_ it,” James said dangerously, and Lily cocked her head to the side, regarding him.

Before they had read this book, she had never seen this side of him. The great side. The side that, she was scared to admit, she might be falling for.

“I doubt they would’ve wanted it, anyway,” Lily said, comforting him, as the other two looked at James worriedly. Carefully, Lily placed a hand on his arm, “It’s _your_ s _,”_ she said, “And you’re a crazy abnormal wizard, I doubt they’d have wanted it.”

By the end of her little speech, James was laughing, and Remus and Sirius were looking at her incredulously, but impressed.

“Thanks,” he murmured, putting his arm around her, and Lily smiled at him.

**“How often had they complained how much Harry cost them to keep? And all the time there had been a small fortune belonging to him, buried deep under London.”**

“He could’ve just used the money and lived somewhere else,” James sighed

“He wouldn’t need the money,” Sirius muttered, “Any magical family would’ve been willing to take him.”

“He needed to stay away from the fame,” Lily said sadly, and the boys sighed, knowing she was right, “Doesn’t matter anyway,” she said, “he’s out of there.”

“Thank Merlin,” James grinned, squeezing her in a one armed hug.

**“Hagrid helped Harry pile some of it into a bag.”**

“I love how Hagrid’s helping him so much,” James smiled

“He likes you,” Lily said, and James smiled.

“He likes you more,” he teased, and Lily sighed, dramatically placing her hand on her heart

“Alas, he just cant help it,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“"The gold ones are Galleons," he explained. "Seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle, it's easy enough. Right, that should be enough fer a couple o' terms, we'll keep the rest safe for yeh."”**

“That’s so sweet of him!” Lily said, smiling.

“He really is a great bloke,” Sirius said, nodding.

**“He turned to Griphook. "Vault seven hundred and thirteen now, please, and can we go more slowly?"**

**"One speed only," said Griphook.”**

“Poor Hagrid!” Sirius squeaked

“You’re all crazy,” James said, shaking his head, “It’s so much fun when it goes fast!”

“You have a strong stomach,” Sirius said, and James shrugged, grinning

“Poor you,” he cooed, and Sirius sent him a crude gesture.

**“They were going even deeper now and gathering speed.”**

“That _definitely_ sounds naughty,” Sirius said dryly, and Lily burst out laughing.

“Sirius!” Remus chastised, bright red, “We’re in the presence of a lady. The least you could do is control yourself,” he said, and Sirius shrugged

“She didn’t mind,” he said, as Lily fought to catch her breath, James grinning at her.

“Manners,” Remus said, shaking his head

“Honestly, you’re turning into Lily,” Sirius muttered, and Lily laughed

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” she asked, and Sirius shrugged.

“Did you take it as an insult?” he asked, and Lily shook her head, “Then no.”

**“The air became colder and colder as they hurtled round tight corners. They went rattling over an underground ravine, and Harry leaned over the side to try to see what was down at the dark bottom, but Hagrid groaned and pulled him back by the scruff of his neck.”**

“Thank you,” Lily said, shaking her head disapprovingly

“He was curious!” James said defensively, considering he did the same thing _every time_.

**“Vault seven hundred and thirteen had no keyhole.”**

“That sounds like it’s important then,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes, as did James and Sirius

“ _Really_ mate?” Sirius asked, and Remus stuck his tongue out.

**“"Stand back," said Griphook importantly. He stroked the door gently with one of his long fingers and it simply melted away.**

**"If anyone but a Gringotts goblin tried that, they'd be sucked through the door and trapped in there," said Griphook.**

**"How often do you check to see if anyone's inside?" Harry asked.**

**"About once every ten years," said Griphook with a rather nasty grin.”**

“That’s terrible,” Lily shuddered, and the boys frowned at her, “I meant Griphook. I mean, why would you scare a child like that?” she asked, and the boys laughed

“He’s making sure Harry is responsible,” Sirius said, “and does not rob Gringotts.”

“Wont stop him,” Lily smiled, and the boys sighed

“Why are you so convinced our son is going to be a felon?” James asked, and Lily shrugged

“It’s a weird feeling.”

“It is very weird,” Sirius muttered, so only James could hear.

**“Something really extraordinary had to be inside this top security vault, Harry was sure,”**

“Really?” Sirius said sarcastically

**“and he leaned forward eagerly, expecting to see fabulous jewels at the very least - but at first he thought it was empty.”**

“What?” Sirius squeaked, “I don’t understand! Where’s the treasure?”

“It’s not treasure,” Lily said patiently,

“What?” he asked, and James looked at him incredulously

“How thick are you?” James laughed, “We already know what’s in there!”

“WE do?” Sirius asked, and James turned, bewildered, to Remus, who had a stupefied look on his face

“The stone?” Remus suggested, and Sirius flushed

“Right,” he said awkwardly, and the other three chuckled.

**“Then he noticed a grubby little package wrapped up in brown paper lying on the floor.”**

“If it’s so special, why leave it on the floor?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged

“No idea,” she said.

“It’s a stone, so it shouldn’t matter where you put it, right?” James asked, and Lily twirled her hair

“Theoretically, I guess, but this stone probably has powers or something,” she said, and they nodded.

“I don’t know,” Remus said, shaking his head, “Let’s just keep reading.”

**“Hagrid picked it up and tucked it deep inside his coat.”**

“Wonder when he’ll find it,” Sirius laughed

“Can you imagine Dumbledore’s face if Hagrid suddenly dumps toad spawn and dog biscuits on his desk while searching for the stone?” James laughed, and Lily sighed

“He wouldn’t be irresponsible with the stone,” she said, and James grinned

“We know, we’re just kidding around,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly.

**“Harry longed to know what it was, but knew better than to ask.”**

“Good boy,” Lily smiled, and James snorted

“No, he was just brought up not allowed to ask questions,” he said, and Lily grimaced.

“Let me enjoy the ideology that he has manners?” she asked, and James chuckled, before nodding.

**“"Come on, back in this infernal cart, and don't talk to me on the way back, it's best if I keep me mouth shut," said Hagrid.”**

Sirius barked a laugh, “Infernal cart.”

“Do you find _everything_ amusing?” Remus asked, bewildered, and James laughed

“You’ve known him for six years, and you’re just noticing?” James asked, and Remus shook his head

“I didn’t think he was _this_ bad,” he said, shaking his head

“I’m disappointed in you,” James said jokingly, and Remus sighed dramatically, and pretended to wipe off a tear.

**“One wild cart ride later they stood blinking in the sunlight outside Gringotts.”**

“Wild,” Sirius winked, and Lily shrieked indignantly and threw a cushion at him, hitting him right in the face.

“You have amazing aim,” James commented, and Lily laughed as Sirius rubbed his nose.

**“Harry didn't know where to run first now that he had a bag full of money.”**

“I love that feeling,” James laughed.

“Only you would know,” Sirius teased, and James threw him an annoyed, yet amused, look.

**“He didn't have to know how many Galleons there were to a pound to know that he was holding more money than he'd had in his whole life - more money than even Dudley had ever had.”**

“Does he _have_ to compare himself to Dudley?” James whined, and Lily grinned

“Why not? He’s winning,” she winked, and James chuckled.

“You’re terrible,” he said, and Lily shrugged

“Whatever.”

**“"Might as well get yer uniform," said Hagrid, nodding toward Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.”**

“So he goes for the most _boring_ store first?” Sirius whined, and the boys grimaced as Lily grinned.

“It’s smart,” she said, “I mean, get the things you hate first, and then have fun,” she shrugged, and James chuckled

“Is that how you shop?” he teased, and Lily nodded

“It’s practical.”

“We should take some pointers from her, mate,” Sirius said, “We go for the joke shop first and tend to forget all the stuff we actually need,” he said, and James grinned sheepishly.

**“"Listen, Harry, would yeh mind if I slipped off fer a pick-me-up in the Leaky Cauldron? I hate them Gringotts carts."”**

“Hagrid!” Lily chastised, as the boys laughed

“That’s such a Hagrid thing to do,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head

“I bet people are going to harangue him about Harry in the Leaky,” Remus said, and James grinned happily.

**“He did still look a bit sick, so Harry entered Madam Malkin's shop alone, feeling nervous.”**

“About what?” James asked incredulously

“he’s never been alone in the magical world before,” Lily said, “Cut him some slack!”

“Were you nervous?” Sirius asked, and Lily snorted

“You bet. I felt so stupid,” she said shaking her head, and Sirius grinned

“Can you imagine?” he asked, turning to his friends, “a stupid Lily?”

“It’s like imagining a well behaved you,” Remus muttered, and both Lily and James laughed as Sirius chuckled.

“Well done,” he said, and Remus shrugged

“I try.”

**“Madam Malkin was a squat, smiling witch dressed all in mauve.”**

“She’s the sweetest little thing,” Lily smiled, nodding in agreement.

**“"Hogwarts, dear?" she said, when Harry started to speak. "Got the lot here - another young man being fitted up just now, in fact."”**

“Oh, this should be awkward,” Lily said, and the boys looked at her

“Why do you say that?” James asked, and Lily giggled

“Well, I was standing next to Hestia Jones, you know her?” she asked, and the boys nodded, “and she was talking to me about Hogwarts and houses, and I had no idea what she was saying,” Lily said, and the boys snickered

“I hope he’s not in that situation,” Sirius laughed, “he is the famous Harry Potter, after all.”

**“In the back of the shop, a boy with a pale, pointed face was standing on a footstool while a second witch pinned up his long black robes.”**

“Oh Merlin it’s a Malfoy,” Sirius said disgustedly, his nose scrunching.

“How do you know?” Lily asked, and Sirius snorted

“Related,” he said shortly, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up, but she didn’t say anything.

**“Madam Malkin stood Harry on a stool next to him, slipped a long robe over his head, and began to pin it to the right length.**

**"Hello," said the boy, "Hogwarts, too?"”**

“Are you sure it’s a Malfoy?” James asked, “Seems too nice.”

“We’ll see,” Sirius shrugged, obviously still disgusted by the fact that a relative of his was there.

**“"Yes," said Harry.**

**"My father's next door buying my books and mother's up the street looking at wands," said the boy. He had a bored, drawling voice. "Then I'm going to drag them off to took at racing brooms. I don't see why first years can't have their own. I think I'll bully father into getting me one and I'll smuggle it in somehow."”**

“Definitely a Malfoy,” James mumbled, as Sirius nodded knowingly, a look of irritation on his face. Lily turned to Remus, a questioning look on her face, and Remus simply shook his head, as if to say he’d tell her later.

“Prat,” Sirius mumbled, crossing his arms.

**“Harry was strongly reminded of Dudley.”**

“Dudley’s an angel in comparison to a Malfoy,” Sirius said, and Lily grimaced. She’d heard about Sirius and his family, but she didn’t know the details. By the look of things, the rumors were true.

“Yeah, a fat angel,” James said, and Sirius grinned.

“He’s the only one who can cheer him up when the family talk comes up,” Remus whispered to Lily, who looked at James curiously. She’d never taken the time to notice just how close Sirius and James were.

**“"Have you got your own broom?" the boy went on.**

**"No," said Harry.**

**"Play Quidditch at all?"**

**"No," Harry said again, wondering what on earth Quidditch could be.”**

“Oh Merlin!” James gasped, “My child doesn’t know what Quidditch is,” he said, and the other three grinned, “I’m going to _die_.” He said, shaking his head in disbelief, “This cant be happening!”

“Don’t worry mate,” Sirius chuckled, “He’s on a broom on the cover of the book.”

“Really?” James gasped, ripping the book out of Lily’s hands, and looking at the cover. He sighed and handed it back to her, calmer, and Lily shook her head, amused.

**“"I do - Father says it's a crime if I'm not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree. Know what house you'll be in yet?"”**

“Arrogant, self-centered, selfish, spoilt _prat_ ,” Sirius spat, and Lily looked at him, alarmed.

“Mate,” James said, and Sirius looked at him, fury in his eyes, before calming down and relaxing

“Sorry,” he muttered to Lily, who shook her head compassionately.

**“"No," said Harry, feeling more stupid by the minute.”**

“You’re not stupid,” Lily said comfortingly, “I knew nothing!”

“Yes, and look where she’s ended up,” Remus said, “She’s top of our year and she’s going to be Head Girl.”

“I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!” Lily squeaked, and grinned happily, as the boys laughed, “And you’re going to be Head Boy!” she squealed, looking at James who nodded, “You know,” she said, leaning back, “Head Boy and Girl have their own dorm,” she said, and James’s eyebrows shot up

“Really?” he said, and Lily nodded

“If you bring creepy crawlies into my dorm, I will kill you,” she said, and James chuckled as Sirius and Remus laughed

**“"Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I'll be in Slytherin, all our family have been”**

“I beg to differ,” Sirius said, grinning proudly, and James shook his head fondly.

**“-imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"”**

“I’d leave if I were in Slytherin,” James muttered, and Sirius nodded.

“You remember Reg?” he asked, and James stiffened slightly, but nodded, “He joined, the Death Eaters, he joined,” Sirius said, and James’s eyes widened

“Mate, I’m so sorry.”

“S’fine,” Sirius said, but Lily could see the anguish in his eyes, “I always knew he would. Wanted to make dear old mum proud,” he said, a slight sneer on his face.

“ **"Mmm," said Harry, wishing he could say something a bit more interesting.”**

“That’s so awkward!” Remus laughed, and Sirius smiled a little

“I _told_ you,” Lily said teasingly, looking at Sirius, who chuckled, breaking out of his morose mood.

“Fine! You win,” Sirius said, holding his hands up in surrender, and Lily grinned.

**“"I say, look at that man!" said the boy suddenly, nodding toward the front window. Hagrid was standing there, grinning at Harry and pointing at two large ice creams to show he couldn't come in.”**

“I want one!” Sirius groaned, and Lily laughed

“Are you going to say that _every time_ food is mentioned?” she asked, and Sirius laughed and nodded.

**“"That's Hagrid," said Harry, pleased to know something the boy didn't.  "He works at Hogwarts."**

**"Oh," said the boy, "I've heard of him. He's a sort of servant, isn't he?"”**

“I don’t like him,” Lily muttered, “I _really_ don’t like him.”

“Welcome to my life,” Sirius said bitterly, and Lily chuckled

“We’re partners,” she said, and Sirius quirked an eyebrow at her, “Mudblood and outcast,” she winked, and Sirius burst out laughing, much to James and Remus’s bewilderment. He never laughed when his outcast status was brought up.

“Mudblood and Outcast, united to fight the evil spawn,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled, “Thank you,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“I’m probably more hated than you are,” she said, and Sirius shrugged

“That’s debatable,” he said, and Lily shook her head

“You’re still a pureblood,” she said, “Mudblood is worse than Blood Traitor.”

“Can we _not_ argue this?” James asked, looking at Lily worriedly.

**“"He's the gamekeeper," said Harry. He was liking the boy less and less every second.”**

“He’s definitely our boy, mate,” Sirius said, and James laughed

“ _Our_ boy?”

“Well, I’m assuming that Remmy dearest and myself and Wormtail probably are considered family,” Sirius gasped, James smiled

“Yes, you are family,” he said, and Sirius grinned

“Remmy dearest?” Remus asked, nose scrunched disgustedly, and the other three burst out laughing

“Let’s see how Malfoy and Prongs junior are doing?” Sirius suggested, and Remus threw him a dirty look.

**““Yes, exactly. I heard he's a sort of savage - lives in a hut on the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic, and ends up setting fire to his bed."”**

“That was _once_ ,” Remus said angrily.

“Well, Malfoy was here then, no doubt he’ll pass all that rubbish down to his son,” Sirius said, shaking his head in disgust.

“Savage?” Lily asked, fury coating her voice, “If you don’t mind,” she said, looking at Sirius, “I’d love to throw a knife through him.”

“Be my guest,” Sirius grinned, as James and Remus laughed.

**““I think he's brilliant," said Harry coldly.”**

“That’s my boy!” James said happily, and Sirius turned to Lily

“Going to yell at him about manners?” he teased, and Lily shook her head as James and Remus grinned.

“Malfoy junior deserves it,” she said, and Sirius nodded in agreement.

“Do you think he’ll be like James’s Snape?” Remus asked, and Lily frowned as James flushed

“That is a _really_ weird sentence,” she said, and James sighed in relief as Sirius and Remus laughed

“I bet,” James said, shaking his head.

“I don’t know _why_ he hates you,” Lily said, and James raised an eyebrow at her, “What?”

“Because he loves you?” he suggested, and Lily snorted

“Rubbish,” she said, and James turned, bewildered, to Sirius and Remus, who only shook their heads incredulously

“You _have_ to know that!” Sirius squeaked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Honestly, you can be friends without someone falling for the other,” she said, shaking her head, and the boys sighed, obviously giving up.

**“"Do you?" said the boy, with a slight sneer.”**

“Yes, he does,” said Remus irritably, and James grinned.

“Do _all_ Malfoy’s come with a sneer?” he asked Sirius, who snorted

“I think it’s hereditary,” he said, and they all laughed.

**““Why is he with you? Where are your parents?"”**

“Dead,” James said in a pained voice.

“I can’t believe someone else is taking _my son_ to shop for his Hogwarts stuff,” Lily sighed, and James nodded, patting her arm soothingly.

**“"They're dead," said Harry shortly. He didn't feel much like going into the matter with this boy.”**

“That’s right Harry,” Sirius said, smiling, “he’s not worth it.”

“For once, I am not going to lecture anyone on manners,” Lily said, and James chuckled

“So can we just bring the Malfoy’s up every time you lecture us?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

**“"Oh, sorry," said the other, not sounding sorry at all.”**

“Because he’s not,” Sirius said bluntly, “he has no feelings.”

“Does Malfoy _not_ know who Harry is?” Remus asked, and the four exchanged glances

“Well, he defeated Voldemort. I doubt the Malfoy’s would’ve cared much about Harry,” Lily said, and James nodded

“I don’t think they wanted anything to do with him,” he said, and Sirius nodde

“That sounds about right.”

**“"But they were our kind, weren't they?"”**

“I hate him,” Lily said bluntly.

**“"They were a witch and wizard, if that's what you mean."”**

“No, he meant human,” Remus said sarcastically, and the other three burst out laughing.

“You never know,” said Sirius, “James could be part troll.”

“Why? Because he smells?” Remus said, winking playfully at James, who pretended to look affronted.

“I was going for stupidity, but that works too,” Sirius laughed, and James rolled his eyes as his friends and Lily laughed.

**““I really don't think they should let the other sort in, do you?”**

The boys turned to Lily, whose jaw was clenched.

**“They're just not the same, they've never been brought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they get the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families. What's your surname, anyway?"”**

“You alright?” James asked quietly, delicately placing a hand on Lily’s shoulder, and Lily bit her lip, “Here,” he said, gently prying the book from Lily’s hands and tossing it to Sirius, who caught it, watching Lily with worried eyes.

“Lily, he’s a Malfoy,” Remus said soothingly, “doesn’t matter what he thinks.”

“He’s my family Lily, and I agree with Remus,” Sirius said, and Lily sniffed, nodding, as James rubbed soothing circles on her back.

“M’fine,” she mumbled, blinking rapidly. James rolled his eyes and pulled her into a comforting hug, “Really!” they heard her insist, her voice muffled by James’s shoulder.

“Shut up,” James advised, pulling away from her, but keeping his arm around her comfortingly. Lily didn’t move either, but just leaned on his shoulder.

“Shall I proceed?” Sirius asked, and Lily chuckled, causing the boys to smile.

**“But before Harry could answer, Madam Malkin said, "That's you done, my dear," and Harry, not sorry for an excuse to stop talking to the boy, hopped down from the footstool.”**

“How come evil spawn is taking so long then?” Sirius asked, and Lily giggled

“He’s a snot, remember? He’s probably being all prissy and girly about it,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“A snot, Lily?” Remus said playfully, and Lily grinned

“Yes, a snot.”

**“"Well, I'll see you at Hogwarts, I suppose," said the drawling boy.”**

“I hope you don’t,” Lily mumbled, and James grinned

“I hope he does,” he said, “Harry would kick his butt,” James said determinedly, and Lily laughed

“Yes, that much is obvious,” she laughed, “With a mother like me, how could he not be?” she gasped, and Sirius guffawed

“You’re starting to sound like James,” he laughed, and Lily grinned as James stuck his tongue out at his best mate and Remus laughed.

**“Harry was rather quiet as he ate the ice cream”**

Sirius made a pained sound, and Lily laughed.

**“Hagrid had bought him (chocolate and raspberry with chopped nuts).”**

“Oh Merlin,” Sirius groaned, looking lovingly down at the book.

“Need a moment?” Remus asked, a look of amusement on his face

“Yes please,” Sirius squeaked, and James and Remus snickered as Lily shook her head fondly, grinning.

**“"What's up?" said Hagrid.**

**"Nothing," Harry lied.”**

“Don’t lie!” Lily squeaked, and Sirius sighed

“She’s back,” he said faux enthusiastically.

“Didn’t you miss me?” she laughed, and Sirius chuckled.

**“They stopped to buy parchment and quills. Harry cheered up a bit when he found a bottle of ink that changed color as you wrote.”**

Lily gasped, and the boys burst out laughing

“You’re never going to change, are you?” Sirius laughed, and Lily shook her head

“I want!” she sighed longingly, and James laughed

“Once a nerd, always a nerd,” he said, and Lily huffed, sticking her tongue out at him.

**“When they had left the shop, he said, "Hagrid, what's Quidditch?"”**

“FINALLY,” James yelled happily, and Remus shook his head fondly

“Your child is finally learning the beautiful game,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“Damn it,” she mumbled, and the boys laughed.

“Wonder if he’ll keep messing his hair up so it looks like he just got off a broom?” Remus teased, and James laughed, messing his hair up.

“No, absolutely not,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

**“"Blimey, Harry, I keep forgettin' how little yeh know - not knowin' about Quidditch!"”**

“Don’t make him feel worse,” Lily said sympathetically.

**“"Don't make me feel worse," said Harry.”**

“Uncanny,” Sirius said, shocked, turning to Lily with wide eyes, and Lily laughed

**“He told Hagrid about the pale boy in Madam Malkin's.  "--and he said people from Muggle families shouldn't even be allowed in."”**

“Yes, they should,” James said, as Lily looked down at her lap sadly.

**“"Yer not from a Muggle family. If he'd known who yeh were - he's grown up knowin' yer name if his parents are wizardin' folk. You saw what everyone in the Leaky Cauldron was like when they saw yeh. Anyway, what does he know about it, some o' the best I ever saw were the only ones with magic in 'em in a long line o' Muggles - look at yer mum! Look what she had fer a sister!"”**

Lily sniffed, “that’s so sweet,” she said in a choked voice, and the boys exchanged alarmed looks.

“Lils, don’t cry,” James begged, a frightened look on his face. A crying girl, he could deal with. But a crying Lily Evans? Not so much.

“Shut up,” she said, wiping her eyes, and Sirius and Remus grimaced, neither of them knowing what to do, “Just keep reading,” she said, and Sirius raised his eyebrows

“Y-you’re sure?”

“Yes,” she said, and Sirius looked at James, who nodded, before looking down at the book.

**“"So what is Quidditch?"”**

“This is hurting me,” James said irritably, “This is _actually_ hurting me. His words are _hurting_ me!” he whined, and the other three burst out laughing.

“I bet he gets on the Quidditch team,” Lily said, and James snorted

“No,” he said, “He cant as a first year.”

“Why not?” she asked

“First years _never_ make it on,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged

“It’s not a _rule_ ,” she said, and Sirius nodded in agreement

“True, but they’re usually not good enough,” eh said, and Lily grinned

“Five Galleons,” she said, and Sirius’s eyes brightened

“You’re on.”

“We are having a _really_ bad influence on her,” Remus squeaked, and James nodded, looking at Lily in amazement.

**“"It's our sport. Wizard sport. It's like - like football in the Muggle world - everyone follows Quidditch - played up in the air on broomsticks and there's four balls - sorta hard ter explain the rules."”**

“It’s not that hard!” James squeaked indignantly

“Honestly, calm down,” Remus chuckled

“No! I want my child to know about Quidditch!” James squeaked, and Lily raised her eyebrows, alarmed.

“Football?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed

“Muggle sport,” she said, and he nodded, waiting for an explanation, “There’s one ball and the players use their feet only to kick it into goals at either end of the pitch,” she said, and the boys nodded, fascinated

“Can you take us to a game?” Sirius begged, and Lily laughed

“I cant take you to _everything_ ,” she said, and Sirius pouted, “Fine,” she sighed, and he grinned happily, “But you lot are paying.”

“Done,” Sirius said, “Prongs will pay,” he added winking at James, who chuckled.

**“"And what are Slytherin and Hufflepuff?"**

**"School houses. There's four. Everyone says Hufflepuff are a lot o' duffers, but -"”**

“That’s so rude!” Lily squeaked, as the boys bellowed with laughter.

“It’s true,” James pointed out, but Lily shrugged

“So? Can’t plant these things in his head _before_ he gets there!”

“So it’s better for him to think these things by himself?” Remus asked, amused, and Lily nodded vigorously

“But wouldn’t that be rude?” Sirius teased, and Lily shook her head

“There’s no winning with you!” James said incredulously, and Lily grinned as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“"I bet I'm in Hufflepuff," said Harry gloomily.”**

“Doubt it,” Sirius snorted

“Nah, he’ll be a Gryffindor,” Remus agreed

**“"Better Hufflepuff than Slytherin," said Hagrid darkly.”**

“That is true,” James agreed, and Lily laughed

“Ravenclaw’s not so bad,” she said, and the boys shrugged

“Here’s the preferred order,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled, “Gryffindor, obviously, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin. Are we all in agreement?” eh asked, and the other three laughed and nodded.

**“"There's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin.  You-Know-Who was one."**

**"Vol-, sorry - You-Know-Who was at Hogwarts?"”**

“That idea still scares me,” Lily said, shuddering.

“I agree,” Sirius said, nodding, “I mean, imagine him walking these halls? And eating in the Great Hall? And taking classes in our classrooms?”

“Sirius!” James hissed, as Lily shuddered.                      

“Right,” Sirius said awkwardly, “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” grinned Lily, “It’s just strange, is all.”

**“"Years an' years ago," said Hagrid.**

**They bought Harry's school books in a shop called Flourish and Blotts, where the shelves were stacked to the ceiling with books as large as paving stones bound in leather; books the size of postage stamps in covers of silk; books full of peculiar symbols and a few books with nothing in them at all.”**

“You alright there, Lily?” Sirius teased, and Lily sighed dreamily

“I _love_ bookstores,” she said, grinning

“Well, you’ll love James’s house,” Sirius said, “He has a library!”

“You have a _library_?” Lily squealed, looking at James, who flushed and nodded awkwardly

“He lives in a mansion,” Remus put in, and Lily’s eyes widened as James flushed even darker

“Really?” she asked, and James nodded, “That’s _so_ amazing!” she gasped, her eyes shining, “I’d _love_ to have a library!” James grinned at her, and she beamed.

“I’ll show it to you sometime,” he said, and Lily gasped

“Really?” she squealed, and James laughed and nodded, “You _swear_?”

“Yes,” he said, and Lily smiled, satisfied.

**“Even Dudley, who never read anything, would have been wild to get his hands on some of these. Hagrid almost had to drag Harry away from Curses and Countercurses (Bewitch Your Friends and Befuddle Your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: Hair Loss, Jelly-Legs, Tongue- Tying and Much, Much More) by Professor Vindictus Viridian.”**

“Yeah Harry!” Remus laughed, as James and Sirius grinned madly, and Lily whimpered

“He’s going to be like you lot, isn’t he?” she asked, looking at Remus, who nodded solemnly

“It’s okay Lily,” Sirius laughed, walking over and flopping down on the other side of her, throwing his arm around her shoulders, “We’re not so bad!”

“Yes, you are,” she said sadly, and Sirius gasped as James and Remus snickered

“Well, we cant be _that_ bad, I mean, you are marrying us,” SIrus pointed out, and Lily raised her eyebrows

“Us?” Remus asked, bewildered.

“Yes, it’s a basic rule, if she marries James, she marries the rest of us as well,” he said, “It’s a buy one get three free situation,” he said, and Lily snorted as James and Remus laughed.

“Sadly, he is right,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I’m not marrying _any_ of you,” she muttered irritably, before sprinting over to her armchair and falling down in it.

“OI!” Sirius yelled, standing up, and she grinned at him cheekily.

**“"I was trying to find out how to curse Dudley!"”**

“I love this kid,” Sirius chuckled madly, and James laughed

“He’s a Marauder at heart,” James nodded proudly

“He will Maraud through his Hogwarts days,” Sirius nodded, and Lily snorted

“Maraud?”

“Yes, Maraud,” Sirius said, “It’s the adjective describing what we do,” he said, gesturing to himself, James and Remus

“I thought the term ‘pranking’ sufficed,” Lily said, and Sirius gasped

“Lily! We do more than just prank,” he said, shaking his head, “Rather than merely pranking, we _maraud_ ,” he said dramatically, and Lily rolled her eyes, her mouth threatening to pull up into a smile as James and Remus chuckled.

**“"I'm not sayin' that's not a good idea, but yer not ter use magic in the Muggle world except in very special circumstances," said Hagrid.”**

“Hagrid!” Lily chastised, her voice shaking with uncontrollable laughter.

“He’s brilliant,” James grinned, and Lily threw him a stern look

“He shouldn’t encourage such behaviour!” she said indignantly

“Lily, face it, he’s a Marauder at heart,” Remus said, and Lily sighed

“I tried,” she said, and the three boys laughed.

**“"An' anyway, yeh couldn' work any of them curses yet, yeh'll need a lot more study before yeh get ter that level."”**

“Rubbish,” Sirius said, “I worked those curses in first year!”

“Yes, and landed your first detention,” Remus said, shaking his head, and Sirius grinned

“Ah, the first of many,” he said nostalgically, “I remember that detention well.”

**“Hagrid wouldn't let Harry buy a solid gold cauldron, either ("It says pewter on yer list"),”**

The four of them burst out laughing

“Honestly, just because you have money doesn’t mean you spend it all,” James chuckled, shaking his head fondly.

“Advice from the rich kid,” Sirius said, “Sounds legit.”

“Shut up,” James chuckled, whacking Sirius on the back of the head.

“You don’t even _need_ a solid gold cauldron,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head

“But they’re so cool!” Sirius whined, “Can you imagine showing up to Potions and pulling out a solid gold cauldron?”

“I doubt he’d be able to pull it out,” Lily giggled, and the boys laughed.

“ **but they got a nice set of scales for weighing potion ingredients and a collapsible brass telescope.”**

“Collapsible?” Remus gasped, his eyes wide, “Those haven’t even been _invented_ yet!”

“That’s a nice story grandpa,” Sirius said cheekily, and Remus rolled his eyes, trying _very hard_ not to smile.

**“Then they visited the Apothecary, which was fascinating enough to make up for its horrible smell, a mixture of bad eggs and rotted cabbages. Barrels of slimy stuff stood on the floor; jars of herbs, dried roots, and bright powders lined the walls; bundles of feathers, strings of fangs, and snarled claws hung from the ceiling.”**

“I hate it in there,” Sirius shuddered, and Lily turned to him questioningly

“Why?” she asked, bewildered

“Sorry, forgot I was talking to the Potions princess,” Sirius muttered, and Lily flushed as James and Remus snickered

“I am _not_ a Potions princess,” she replied, embarrassed.

“Yes, you are,” Remus nodded, and Lily sighed

“Why do I even _bother_ talking to you lot?” she asked rhetorically

“Because you love us,” Sirius grinned, and Lily rolled her eyes as the three boys grinned at her cheekily.

**“While Hagrid asked the man behind the counter for a supply of some basic potion ingredients for Harry, Harry himself examining silver unicorn horns at twenty-one Galleons each and minuscule, glittery-black beetle eyes (five Knuts a scoop).   Outside the Apothecary, Hagrid checked Harry's list again.**

**"Just yer wand left - A yeah, an' I still haven't got yeh a birthday present."”**

“Bloody nice of him,” James grinned, and Lily nodded, smiling.

**“Harry felt himself go red.**

**"You don't have to -"**

**"I know I don't have to. Tell yeh what, I'll get yer animal. Not a toad, toads went outta fashion years ago, yeh'd be laughed at - an' I don' like cats, they make me sneeze. I'll get yer an owl. All the kids want owls, they're dead useful, carry yer mail an' everythin'."”**

“Look at my polite little boy,” Lily grinned, and the boys laughed.

“He’s not polite, he’s just a good boy,” Remus said, and Lily smiled happily, kicking her feet.

“I love Hagrids rant about animals,” Sirius sniggered, “‘I don’ like cats, they make me sneeze’, honestly, only Hagrid is this brilliant,” he laughed, and the other three joined in.

“Hagrid can dislike an animal?” James asked incredulously, and Sirius snorted

“Apparently the ones that make him sneeze,” he said, and James laughed

**“Twenty minutes later, they left Eeylops Owl Emporium, which had been dark and full of rustling and flickering, jewel-bright eyes. Harry now carried a large cage that held a beautiful snowy owl, fast asleep with her head under her wing.”**

“He got a snowy one!” Lily squeaked happily, grinning, “They’re so _beautiful!_ ”

“I can’t believe he bought him an owl,” James chuckled, shaking his head fondly.

“Trust Hagrid to buy your child an animal,” Remus chuckled, and both Lily and James laughed as Sirius snorted.

“It’s a very _Hagrid_ thing to do,” Sirius said, and the others grinned.

**“He couldn't stop stammering his thanks, sounding just like Professor Quirrell.”**

“Such good manners,” Sirius sniffed mockingly, winking at Lily, who shook her head amusedly as James and Remus laughed.

**“"Don' mention it," said Hagrid gruffly.”**

“Look at Hagrid, getting all emotional,” Remus grinned, and James snorted

“Hagrid _always_ gets emotional,” he pointed out, and Remus laughed

“Touché.”

**“"Don' expect you've had a lotta presents from them Dursleys. Just Ollivanders left now - only place fer wands, Ollivanders, and yeh gotta have the best wand."”**

“I’ve always wanted to take my children to Ollivanders,” Lily sighed, and the boys smiled at her sympathetically

“ _Technically_ you’re there with him,” Sirius said holding up the book, “And besides, you’re going to be there now that we know what’s going to happen.”

“But we don’t know how to avoid it!” Lily hissed, and the boys froze.

“Y-you’re right,” James whispered, “What do we do?”

“We’ll figure it out,” Sirius said firmly, and James nodded, feeling slightly more comfortable.

**“A magic wand...this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.”**

“That’s the best part, mate,” Remus said, pulling his wand out and twirling it in between his fingers, smiling slightly

“I don’t know what I’d do without it,” Sirius said, patting his pocket fondly.

“Use someone else’s,” James teased, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at James, as the other three laughed at him.

**“The last shop was narrow and shabby. Peeling gold letters over the door read _Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C._ A single wand lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty window.”**

“Think he’ll be an easy, or difficult customer?” Sirius asked.

“Difficult,” Lily said almost instantly

“How are you so sure?” Remus asked

“I’m not,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

**“A tinkling bell rang somewhere in the depths of the shop as they stepped inside. It was a tiny place; empty except for a single, spindly chair that Hagrid sat on to wait.”**

“Think the chair will shatter?” James asked, and they burst out laughing

“Remember when that happened?” Sirius laughed, “We conjured one up for him and he sat down and it just _fell to pieces_?”

“ _That_ was funny,” Remus laughed.

“Hagrid laughed along,” James assured Lily, who smiled in relief.

**“Harry felt strangely as though he had entered a very strict library; he swallowed a lot of new questions that had just occurred to him and looked instead at the thousands of narrow boxes piled neatly right up to the ceiling.”**

“It’s actually pretty frightening in there,” Sirius said, shuddering.

“I know,” James grimaced

“Didn’t your mother have to hold your hand?” Remus teased, and James flushed as Lily giggled uncontrollably and his friends looked at him teasingly

“Shut up,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly

**“For some reason, the back of his neck prickled. The very dust and silence in here seemed to tingle with some secret magic.”**

“Don’t tell me his interested in wandlore,” James groaned, and Lily laughed

“What if he wants to do that?” she asked, and James shook his head

“He wont,” he said, “He’s going to save the world.”

“I’ve heard that’s a well paying job,” Lily said sarcastically, and James laughed.

**“"Good afternoon," said a soft voice. Harry jumped. Hagrid must have jumped, too, because there was a loud crunching noise and he got quickly off the spindly chair.”**

“So it shattered?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head.

“He stood up,” she said, and Sirius nodded, looking slightly disappointed

“He wanted it to shatter,” Remus snickered, and Lily and James laughed as Sirius threw Remus a dirty look

“Yes, I did, so what?” he said, and Remus chuckled.

**“An old man was standing before them, his wide, pale eyes shining like moons through the gloom of the shop.”**

“He’s always frightened me,” Sirius said, and the other nodded

“He’s not a bad person, it’s just, his aura, or something,” James said, and Sirius nodded enthusiastically

**“"Hello," said Harry awkwardly.**

**"Ah yes," said the man. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon, Harry Potter."”**

“Now that’s just freaky,” Remus said, and Lily laughed

“He’s famous,” she laughed, “I’m assuming people know who he is.”

“Yes, but the _way_ he said that,” Remus said, trailing off, looking at Sirius and James, who were looking at him empathetically

“I agree,” Sirius said.

“Harry Potter,” James hissed in a raspy voice, “Haaarrrryyy Pottterrr.”

“Stop!” Sirius squeaked, slapping James’s arm repeatedly, as Lily, Remus and James squealed with laughter, “That’s not funny!” Sirius said weakly, as the three continued to laugh at him.

“I beg to differ,” James laughed, clapping Sirius on the shoulder.

**“It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work."”**

Lily gaped, and looked down at her wand, “That’s frightening,” she said bluntly, and the boys grinned, “ _how_ does he remember that?” she asked, looking at the boys, who shook their heads

“Because he’s a scary, scary man,” Sirius said solemnly, and lily nodded

“No wonder you’re so good at charms,” Remus mumbled, having always been offended that Lily beat him in his favorite subject, and Lily grinned

“Comes with the wand,” she said, and James chuckled.

“You had no chance mate,” James said, and Remus huffed angrily, crossing his arms.

**“Mr. Ollivander moved closer to Harry. Harry wished he would blink. Those silvery eyes were a bit creepy.”**

“That’s a really big factor in him being so creepy!” Sirius said, looking at James, “Your son figured it out!”

“The silvery eyes?” Remus asked, and Sirius shook his head

“The eyes are pretty fascinating, actually, but the fact that he _doesn’t blink_ ,” Sirius shuddered, and James chuckled.

“Stop laughing,” Sirius said nastily, “I didn’t have to hold mummy’s hand.”

“Oi!” James yelled, as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration. Well, I say your father favored it - it's really the wand that chooses the wizard, of course."”**

“Oh, of course,” Sirius said sarcastically, nodding.

“No wonder you’re so good at Transfiguration!” Lily accused, pointing at James, who grinned.

“Jealous?” he teased, and Lily flushed

“It’s not fair!” she whined, “I have to work _so hard_ at it and you just get it,” she said, and James grinned as Sirius and Remus grimaced

“I know how you feel,” Sirius said, “I asked him to teach me once,” he said, and Remus groaned

“Waste of bloody time, that is,” he mumbled, and Sirius nodded

“What can I say,” James sighed conceitedly, “I’m a genius.”

“No,” Lily said, “Your wand is.”

“My eleven inches of pure mahogany,” he said, and Sirius and Remus burst out laughing as Lily groaned, turning an attractive shade of purple.

**“Mr. Ollivander had come so close that he and Harry were almost nose to nose.”**

“Move away!” Sirius said uncomfortably, and Lily laughed

“He’s not in front of _you_ ,”

“Yes, but that’s uncomfortable,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly, giggling.

**“Harry could see himself reflected in those misty eyes.**

**"And that's where..." Mr. Ollivander touched the lightning scar on Harry's forehead with a long, white finger.  "I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that did it," he said softly.”**

“Voldemort went to Ollivanders?” Remus asked, and James looked at him.

“So?”

“That’s just frightening,” Remsu said, “I mean, it makes him seem sort of like a real person.”

“He’s _not_ a real person,” Sirius mumbled, “He’s an evil person.”

“That’s also true,” Remus said, chuckling, “it just makes him seem real.”

**“"Thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the wrong hands... well, if I'd known what that wand was going out into the world to do..." He shook his head and then, to Harry's relief, spotted Hagrid.”**

“Good luck Hagrid,” Lily giggled, and the boys looked at her curiously, “Hagrids wand got snapped, remember?” she asked, and the boys groaned.

“Poor Hagrid,” Sirius said, shaking his head.

**“"Rubeus! Rubeus Hagrid! How nice to see you again...Oak, sixteen inches, rather bendy, wasn't it?"”**

“We found someone who calls him Rubeus!” Sirius announced, and Lily laughed

“It still doesn’t sound right,” she said, and Sirius shuddered

”I didn’t say it did,” he replied.

**“"It was, sir, yes," said Hagrid.**

**"Good wand, that one. But I suppose they snapped it in half when you got expelled." said Mr. Ollivander, suddenly stern.”**

“See,” Lily said, as the boys grimaced

“Can you imagine a stern Ollivander?” Sirius asked, and they shook their heads

“It’s like a stupid Lily,” Remus said.

“Or a mean Hagrid,” James added, and the four of them shuddered

“That would be _beyond_ strange,” Sirius said

**“"Er - yes, they did, yes," said Hagrid, shuffling his feet. "I've still got the pieces, though," he added brightly.”**

“Nice save,” James snorted, and Lily laughed.

**“"But you don't use them." said Mr. Ollivander sharply.**

**"Oh, no, sir," said Hagrid quickly. Harry noticed he gripped his pink umbrella very tightly as he spoke.”**

“There it is again,” Sirius laughed.

“Proof of the umbrella theory?” James asked, and Sirius nodded, causing James to chuckle

“How did he get it in there?” Lily asked curiously, and the boys looked at each other.

“We have to figure that out,” Remus said, and the other two nodded.

**“"Hmmm," said Mr. Ollivander, giving Hagrid a piercing look. "Well, now -- Mr. Potter. Let me see." He pulled a long tape measure with silver markings out of his pocket. "Which is your wand arm?"**

**"Er - well, I'm right-handed," said Harry.”**

“I said the exact same thing!” Lily laughed, and the boys grinned

“How does the measuring tape help anyway?” Remus asked, and the other two boys shrugged

“It’s for proportions,” Lily said knowingly, and they raised their eyebrows at her, “I read a lot,” she said in a bored voice, and the boys laughed.

**“"Hold out your arm. That's it." He measured Harry from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head. As he measured, he said, "Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr. Potter. We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard's wand."”**

“That was a boring speech,” Sirius yawned, and Lily snorted

“No it wasn’t! It was interesting.”

“Because you love to learn,” Sirius mumbled for only James to hear.

**“Harry suddenly realized that the tape measure, which was measuring between his nostrils, was doing this on its own.”**

“Obviously,” Sirius chuckled, “Mr. Ollivander doesn’t have the time to measure you.”

“He grew up as a muggle, leave him alone,” Lily said, shaking her head, a small amused smile on her face.

“Okay, I understand the proportions thing,” Remus said, “But _why_ in the name of Merlin does the space in between your nostrils matter?” he asked, bewildered. Remus’ bewilderment caused the others to burst out laughing, “what?” he squeaked, “it was a good question!” he insisted.

“It was,” James said, and Remus relaxed, “it was your expression that was hilarious,” he grinned, and Remus rolled his eyes

“I honestly have no idea,” Lily said, shaking her head, and Remus sighed

“It makes _no_ sense,” he said bitterly, and Lily bit her lip to restrain her laughter. It was normal to see Sirius and James like that, but not Remus.

**“Mr. Ollivander was flitting around the shelves, taking down boxes.**

**"That will do," he said, and the tape measure crumpled into a heap on the floor.”**

“How did he know the measurements?” Sirius asked, looking at Lily

“Why are you asking me?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“Because you’re the know-it-all, of course,” he said, and Lily hid a smile while James and Remus roared with laughter.

“I don’t know,” she said, and Sirius gasped

“It’s a miracle!” he gasped, and Lily giggled, shaking her head.

“You’re _ridiculous_ ,” she said, and he winked

“And that’s why you love me,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“I don’t love you,” she said, and he pouted

“But, we’re Mudblood and Outcast!” he whined, and Lily burst out laughing, as did James and Remus.

**“"Right then, Mr. Potter. Try this one. Beechwood and dragon heartstring. Nine inches. Nice and flexible. just take it and give it a wave."”**

“Dragon heartstring?” Sirius asked, “Nah that sounds like a Slytherin thing,” he said, and Lily snorted

“How can that be generalized?” she asked, amused

“Well, all my family have dragon heartstring cores,” he said, and Lily bit her lip

“Sorry,” she said, and Sirius shrugged.

“It’s okay Mudblood,” he winked, and Lily laughed.

“You realize that is a bad thing to call someone, right?” James said irritably, and Sirius grinned

“That’s her _name_ , with our superhero names,” he said, rolling his eyes, and James shook his head amusedly.

“Outcast!” Lily hissed, “You can’t reveal our true identities!”

“I can’t?” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You are _the worst_ superhero ever,” she said, shaking her head, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus grinned.

**“Harry took the wand and (feeling foolish) waved it around a bit, but Mr. Ollivander snatched it out of his hand almost at once.   "Maple and phoenix feather. Seven inches. Quite whippy. Try -" Harry tried - but he had hardly raised the wand when it, too, was snatched back by Mr. Ollivander.   "No, no -here, ebony and unicorn hair, eight and a half inches, springy. Go on, go on, try it out." Harry tried. And tried. He had no idea what Mr. Ollivander was waiting for. The pile of tried wands was mounting higher and higher on the spindly chair,”**

“That’s incredibly frustrating,” Lily said angrily

“How long did you have to wait?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged

“I got mine on the first try,” she said, and James snorted

“Trust Lily Evans to get it right on the first try,” he teased, and Lily laughed.

“I’m surprised you even _found_ a wand,” she teased back, and James gasped as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“but the more wands Mr. Ollivander pulled from the shelves, the happier he seemed to become.”**

“I’d become steadily more irritable,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“We’ve established that Mr. Ollivander is a strange _strange_ man,” James said, and Remus grinned.

**“"Tricky customer, eh? Not to worry, we'll find the perfect match here somewhere - I wonder, now - yes, why not”**

“Stop being so mysterious!” Sirius hissed, and Lily laughed

“You’re the one who’s reading,” she said, and Sirius flushed

“Right,” he mumbled, as the other three laughed at him.

“It’s okay mate,” James said.

**“- unusual combination - holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple." Harry took the wand. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wand above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls.”**

“Yes!” James yelled, punching his fist in the air.

“Finally,” Remus laughed, shaking his head.

“Oh Merlin,” Sirius groaned, “I cant believe people have that much patience!”

“I know,” James chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief

“Hey, congratulations,” Sirius said, clapping James on the shoulder, “Your son has a wand!”

“That sounds really wrong,” Lily giggled, and the boys burst out laughing

“Lily Evans,” Sirius said, grinning, “Did you just make a dirty joke?”

“Yes,” she said proudly, and the boys chuckled.

**“Hagrid whooped and clapped and Mr. Ollivander cried, "Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well... how curious... how very curious..."”**

“What’s curious?” Sirius asked, and Lily looked up at Remus

“You don’t think?” she asked, and Remus ran his hand through his hair

“I don’t know,” he said honestly

“Is it possible?” she asked, and Remus paused for a second, before nodding.

“I think it is,” he said, and Lily groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

“I hate it when they do this,” Sirius muttered, and James laughed.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, and Lily shook her head

“You of all people would not want to know,” she mumbled, and James’s eyebrows shot up, and he turned to Sirius curiously.

**“He put Harry's wand back into its box and wrapped it in brown paper, still muttering, "Curious... curious..””**

“Scary man! Just tell us!” James said, and Sirius laughed

“They know and we don’t,” Sirius said, as both Lily and Remus didn’t crack a smile, both thinking deeply.

“Lily?” James coaxed, batting his eyelids at her.

“Er, what?” she asked, as Sirius watched James, grinning, and Remus shook his head hopelessly.

“What do you think it is?” he asked, leaning forwards, looking at her intently, and Lily looked at him blankly. Sirius sniggered,

“Er, find out,” she said, untying her hair and pulling it in front of her shoulders to hide her face as Sirius and Remus howled with laughter and James grinned, still looking at her intently.

**““Sorry," said Harry, "but what's curious?"”**

“I have never loved you more,” James said, grinning down at the book.

**“Mr. Ollivander fixed Harry with his pale stare.”**

“Run,” Sirius squeaked, and Remus laughed as James shook his head amusedly. Lily was still hiding behind her hair.

“Run _after_ we find out what’s up,” James corrected, and Sirius grinned.

“Yes, do that,” he said.

**“"I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather - just one other.”**

James paled and looked at Lily, who was playing with the ends of her hair.

“Is it what I think it is?” he asked Lily, who looked up at him and bit her lip

“That’s what I think,” she said quietly, and he groaned. Sirius looked at Remus, who nodded, and swore.

**““It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother why, its brother gave you that scar."”**

The four of them groaned.

“I knew it,” Lily muttered, hiding her face in her knees, which she curled up so they were hiding her still blushing face.

“Damn it,” James growled, pulling at his hair.

“What does this mean?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head.

“I have no idea,” she said, and Remus shook his head

“Me neither.”

“What happens now?” James asked, and Lily sighed, picking her face up.

“It’s not the end of the world,” she said, “it’ll probably be kept a secret.”

“Will he be okay?” Sirius asked, and Lily ran her hand through her hair, James watching her hand longingly.

“Like I said, it’s not the end of the world,” she said, “it’s just a wand,” she said, and the boys nodded, “It’ll work just like any other wand.”

“Are you thinking of going into wandlore?” Remus teased, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Sirius chuckled.

“ **Harry swallowed.**

**"Yes, thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember...I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter...After all, He- Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things - terrible, yes, but great."”**

“That’s true,” Lily said quietly, twirling her hair with her right hand.

“He did do great things,” Sirius sighed, nodding, “I have to admit. Great, but they’re disgusting,” he added, and the others nodded along.

“So basically, we’re expecting amazing things from Harry?” Remus asked, and Lily smiled

“That’s what it says.”

“I can live with that,” James said, and they laughed.

**“Harry shivered. He wasn't sure he liked Mr. Ollivander too much.”**

“That’s because he’s scary,” Sirius said, and Lily chuckled

**“He paid seven gold Galleons for his wand, and Mr. Ollivander bowed them from his shop.”**

“That was abrupt,” Remus said, blinking, “Are you sure that’s what it says?”

“Yes,” Sirius sighed, “I _can_ read, believe it or not.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Remus squeaked, as Lily and James laughed.

“Seven galleons?” James asked incredulously, “Prices are sky rocketing,” he whistled, and Remus laughed

“He’s the one who bothers with that stuff,” eh said to Lily, who giggled

“Good, I don’t pay attention to those things,” she said, shaking her head, and James grinned at her.

“So you’ve accepted the marriage proposal?” Remus teased, and Lily shook her head, causing James’s grin to fall.

**“The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky as Harry and Hagrid made their way back down Diagon Alley, back through the wall, back through the Leaky Cauldron, now empty. Harry didn't speak at all as they walked down the road; he didn't even notice how much people were gawking at them on the Underground, laden as they were with all their funny-shaped packages, with the snowy owl asleep in its cage on Harry's lap. Up another escalator, out into Paddington station; Harry only realized where they were when Hagrid tapped him on the shoulder.”**

“That is a very brief ending,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“It’s poetic,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her head towards him.

“Does everything my son think have to be poetic?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“Yes,” he said simply, and Lily snorted.

“He has to go back to the Dursleys,” James groaned, and the others gasped.

“I forgot about that!” Remus said, and Lily started to giggle uncontrollably

“What?” Sirius asked, bewildered

“He has to go back and deal with them being scared of him,” she giggled, “And- and- and Dudley has a _tail_ ,” she choked through her peals of laughter, and the boys grinned at her.

“ **"Got time fer a bite to eat before yer train leaves," he said.**

**He bought Harry a hamburger and they sat down on plastic seats to eat them. Harry kept looking around. Everything looked so strange, somehow.”**

“Why?” James asked, “What’s wrong with you?” he asked, and Lily snorted

“You can’t ask someone what’s wrong with them! Phrase it properly,” Sirius instructed, and Lily grinned at him

“It’s like you read my mind,” she laughed, and Sirius grinned.

“We’re Mudblood and Outcast!” he said, and Lily laughed

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” she asked, and Sirius shook his head, grinning.

“You made my day,” he said, and Lily smiled

“Don’t hit on her,” James hissed so only he could hear, and Sirius chuckled

“I’m not,” he whispered, and James rolled his eyes.

 **“"You all right, Harry? Yer very quiet," said Hagrid.** **Harry wasn't sure he could explain. He'd just had the best birthday of his life - and yet - he chewed his hamburger, trying to find the words.**

**"Everyone thinks I'm special," he said at last. "All those people in the Leaky Cauldron, Professor Quirrell, Mr. Ollivander... but I don't know anything about magic at all. How can they expect great things? I'm famous and I can't even remember what I'm famous for. I don't know what happened when Vol-, sorry -- I mean, the night my parents died."”**

“I told you,” Lily said, glaring at James, who looked bewildered

“What?”

“You were all happy about the fame thing and I _told_ you it wasn’t good,” she said, and James flushed as Remus and Sirius sniggered

“I’m sorry,” James said weakly, and Lily smiled sweetly

“I just like saying I told you so,” she grinned, and James rolled his eyes as Sirius and Remus burst out laughing

“Where did this come from?” Sirius wheezed

“Well, I overheard you complaining about me on time,” she said, looking at her hands, “and talking about how I love to say ‘I told you so’, so I’m just proving you right,” she winked, and James’s jaw dropped as Sirius and Remus hid their snickers

“I didn’t mean-“

“I know,” she grinned, “It was just fun to see your face,” she grinned, and James huffed as his friends finally burst out laughing.

**“Hagrid leaned across the table. Behind the wild beard and eyebrows he wore a very kind smile.”**

“That’s so nice,” Lily grinned, and Sirius chuckled

“You say that _every time_ he smiles,” Sirius teased, and Lily laughed.

“And you start cooing whenever he does that,” she said, and Sirius grinned.

**“"Don' you worry, Harry. You'll learn fast enough. Everyone starts at the beginning at Hogwarts, you'll be just fine. Just be yerself. I know it's hard. Yeh've been singled out, an' that's always hard. But yeh'll have a great time at Hogwarts - I did - still do, 'smatter of fact."”**

“That was the best speech ever,” Sirius sighed, and Lily threw him a skeptical look.

“Look at her face,” Remus chuckled.

“He’s right,” James said, running his hand through his hair.

“He is,” Remus agreed, nodding.

“I love Hagrid,” Sirius said happily, and Lily grinned at him.

“Are you going to tell him that, again?” she asked, and his eyes widened

“YES! There’s only a little bit of the chapter left and we will go!” he said, looking pointedly at Remus, who sighed and nodded, knowing the plan was to leave Lily and James alone.

**“Hagrid helped Harry on to the train that would take him back to the Dursleys, then handed him an envelope.”**

**"Yer ticket fer Hogwarts, " he said. "First o' September - King's Cross - it's all on yer ticket. Any problems with the Dursleys, send me a letter with yer owl, she'll know where to find me...See yeh soon, Harry." The train pulled out of the station. Harry wanted to watch Hagrid until he was out of sight; he rose in his seat and pressed his nose against the window, but he blinked and Hagrid had gone.”**

“Done!” Sirius announced, and Lily giggled

“That long without an interruption?” she gasped, and Sirius rolled his eyes as Remus and James laughed

“Well, I wanted to get to Hagrid!” he said, and stood up excitedly, “Remus?”

“What’s the next chapter?” Remus asked, and Sirius sighed, opening the book.

**“Chapter Six: The Journey from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters”**

“That sounds _interesting_!” Remus said excitedly, and Sirius sighed

“That’s great mate, let’s _go_ ,” he said, grabbing Remus’s sleeve and practically sprinting out of the Common Room, “Bye!” he yelled over his shoulder, “Do _not_ read without us!”

“Bye,” Lily giggled, as the Portrait Hole swung shut. She looked at James, who was looking at her, “Can you stop that?” she asked, and James grinned, leaning back.

“So, Lily,” he said, and she raised her eyebrows at him, “I believe you wanted to know about Dedalus.” Lily’s face instantly brightened and she sat up, eyes sparkling, taking James’s breath away.

“Yes!” she squeaked, “Okay, so, what’s going on there?”

“Well,” James said, running his hand through his hair, “You can _never_ tell anyone this,” he said, and Lily nodded, “You swear?”

“Yes, yes, whatever,” she said, and James grinned

“Eager, aren’t we?”

“Shut up,” she advised, and he laughed.

“Well, if you want me to shut up…”

“No!” she squeaked, and he grinned

“Make up your mind.”

“Why don’t you tell me?” she suggested, and James chuckled

“Dedalus Diggle was the one who bought me my first pranking set,” he said, and Lily’s eyes widened.

“No!” she gasped, “So _that’s_ who I have to kill,” she mused, and James laughed, “And that’s why you’re practically in love with him?”

“I’m not in love with him,” he said, and looked at Lily, who flushed.

“Er, right,” she said awkwardly, looking down at her legs.

“So, you were going to tell me about how you wanted us to be girls,” he said, and Lily grinned, “Explain.”

“It isn’t important,” she laughed, “I just miss spending time with females,” she shrugged, “and females would understand lots of my weird comments,” she said, and James chuckled

“So you wished that we were girls?”

“Yes,” she said, and he sighed. Suddenly, he was standing in front of her, leaning over the armchair so his face was closer to hers, and she squeaked, “What are you doing?” she asked, and he grinned.

He leaned down so his face was only a few inches from Lily’s, causing her heart to speed up to a surprising rate. He smiled, admiring Lily’s fiery blush, “Do you still wish I was a girl?” he whispered, and slowly, very slowly, Lily shook her head.

* * *

**Hey guys! That’s the end of this chapter! These chapters in the book are RIDICULOUSLY long. No offence JK Rowling.**

 

**HAPPY FANFICTIONING.**


	7. The Journey from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters

**I’m going to start putting my A/N’s at the end, it’s just so much easier, and I know you lot just want to read, so I’ll babble at the end.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: Not much is mine, sadly.**

* * *

“Lily!” She groaned as a voice yelled for her once again. She was hiding up in her dormitory, after what had happened with James. It was rather embarrassing actually, but she couldn’t be bothered to care about that. Her heart was still hammering from that close encounter. She looked up at the clock, and realized she’d been hiding for a good forty-five minutes. Sirius and Remus had come back fifteen minutes ago.

“We will start reading without you!” She rolled her eyes and lay on her back, looking up at the canopy of the four-poster bed. She had never expected to have any feelings for James Potter. Other than hatred, of course. However, when he had come so close, she had been _waiting_ for him to kiss her. Merlin, she was falling for James Potter. And she didn’t like it. Not one bit.

“Woman!” she smiled slightly, knowing it was probably Sirius who had addressed her as such. How was she supposed to go down there after hiding up here for so long? “FINE! Moony, where’s the book?” she smirked. It was, of course, up here with her.

“You took the book?” someone yelled incredulously, and Lily sighed. This was mean. She willed herself off the bed and stood up, taking the book in her hand. She walked over to the bathroom in the dorm and splashed water on her face

“Pull yourself together,” she told her reflection, before opening the door of her dormitory. She walked down the stairs to see James sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands.

“ _What_ were you doing up there?” Sirius said, coming up behind her and throwing his arm around her shoulders. James turned around quickly and looked at her, but she chose to look anywhere but at him.

“I can’t tell you,” she said, and Sirius gasped. Remus chuckled, and walked over to sit down on the armchair he had been sitting on before.

“Let’s go get food from the kitchens!” Sirius said happily, and Lily rolled her eyes. She felt bad for punishing Sirius and Remus for how James had confused her.

“Can’t we just read?” Remus asked, and Sirius sighed. Lily bit her lip and then grinned.

“What? Why are you smiling?” Sirius asked warily.

“Jessie!” she called, and with a crack, a house elf appeared in front of her. The three boys gaped at her.

“Miss called?” Jessie asked, smiling at Lily.

“I was wondering if you could _please_ get us some food?” she asked, and Jessie nodded enthusiastically, before vanishing with a crack

“You know a house elf?” James asked incredulously

“Obviously,” Remus said, so Lily wouldn’t have to answer, which she was extremely thankful for.

“Let’s read while she gets the food, yeah?” Sirius suggested, and Lily nodded. They walked over to the seating area and Sirius automatically took the seat next to James, leaving Lily to sit on her favorite armchair, “Thought you’d want to bond with your oh-so-special chair,” Sirius winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two laughed, James somewhat half-heartedly.

“So you’re reading?” Remus asked, and Lily sighed, opening the book in resignation as the boys smirked. Just then, there was a crack and Jessie appeared, carrying a load of food. James jumped up and walked over to Jessie.

“Let me help you?” he smiled, and Jessie shook her head happily as Lily looked at James with a slight frown on her face.

“Master should sit down, Jessie likes working,” she said happily, and James sighed, resigned, and flopped back down on the sofa. He looked over at Lily, to see her looking at him curiously. The second she realized he had seen her, she turned away quickly, causing him to sigh.

“Thank you so much,” Lily said, and Jessie only grinned at her.

“Would Miss like anything else?”

“No thank you,” Lily smiled, “Just go have fun,” she said, and Jessie laughed happily before disappearing with a crack.

“Lily, I could kiss you,” Sirius said, jumping over to the coffee table where Jessie had laid the food. Lily rolled her eyes and rolled off the armchair, sitting down next to the coffee table where the three boys were already eating.

“We could just read here,” Remus said, and Lily nodded, taking a bite out of a treacle tart, and opening the book.

**“Harry's last month with the Dursleys wasn't fun.”**

“Honestly, _none_ of his months with the Dursleys are fun,” Sirius said, and James chuckled, “I mean, _why_ mention something like that? It’s so obvious!”

“To emphasize that the Dursleys are not happy?” Remus suggested, and Sirius shrugged as Lily and James grinned.

“I don’t care, it just _emphasizes_ the fact that Harry is miserable,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed

“What, are you two not talking?” Remus asked, turning to Lily and James, who were not talking _or_ looking at each other.

“There’s nothing to say,” Lily said, smiling

“There’s _everything_ to say!” Sirius gasped, and James snorted

“For _you_ ,” he mumbled, and Lily laughed.

**“True, Dudley was now so scared of Harry he wouldn't stay in the same room,”**

“That’s good!” Sirius said, and both James and Lily laughed

“Harry would have so much more space,” James said, and the other three were silent for a second, before they burst out laughing.

“Another fat joke!” Sirius said happily, clapping James on the shoulder, “Well done mate!”

“Is anyone still keeping count?” Remus asked, and Lily shook her head.

“What?” Sirius whined, and Lily smiled.

“I forgot how many it was before!”

“Lily Evans, forgetting something?” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes

“That’s true,” Remus chuckled, “I thought you _never_ forgot things.”

“I don’t.” Lily smiled, and James bit his lip as Lily’s eyes flickered to him.

“LIES! You just forgot that!” Sirius said, pointing at her, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Okay, I never forget things that _matter_ ,” she said, and James and Remus laughed as Sirius’s jaw dropped open

“THIS IS IMPORTANT!”

“Why are you yelling?” Lily squeaked, wincing, “And actually, no, it’s not.”

“Well, you forgot about your bet in second year,” Sirius said, and Lily quirked an eyebrow, “You swore that if you _ever_ came within 100 yards of us willingly you would eat the Giant Squid,” he said, and grinned at the gaping Lily as James and Remus snickered

“As I said, things that are important,” she said, smiling serenely.

“THAT IS-“

“Let it go mate,” James chuckled, clapping the affronted Sirius on the back.

**“while Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon didn't shut Harry in his cupboard, force him to do anything, or shout at him”**

“That’s a _definite_ improvement,” Remus nodded

“Hold on!” Sirius said, holding his hands up, “I thought he didn’t live in the cupboard anymore?”

“I don’t think he does,” Lily said.

“Then why say they didn’t shut him in his cupboard?” James asked, and Lily bit her lip.

“It’s an improvement?” she said, not looking at James, but looking at Sirius. James, noticing this, felt his stomach sink and sighed sadly.

“I agree with Prongs,” Sirius said, “I mean, why mention it?”

“I don’t know!” Lily squeaked, causing the boys to smile, “Go ask whoever wrote this book!”

“We’ve established that it was a JK Rowling,” Remus said, and Lily giggled.

“Yes, go ask her.”

“I will!” Sirius said, and James rolled his eyes fondly.

**“-in fact, they didn't speak to him at all.”**

“Does that sound slightly depressing to you?” James asked, looking at Remus, who shrugged

“He has nobody to talk to, and everyone’s ignoring him,” Remus said, and shuddered, “It _does_ sound depressing.”

“Kind of sounds like my life after I got sorted into Gryffindor,” Sirius said bitterly, and the other three exchanged sad glances. Well, James tried to exchange a glance with Lily, but she was exchanging a glance at the rug at the same time. They both did, however, manage to exchange glances with Remus.

“Way to kill the atmosphere mate,” James said, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Because it was fine and dandy before, right?” he said, looking between James and Lily, both of whom flushed.

“How about we keep reading?” Remus suggested, his voice a few octaves too high as James opened his mouth to retort.

**“Half terrified, half furious, they acted as though any chair with Harry in it were empty.”**

“That’s really mean,” James said sadly, and Lily nodded. She had decided not to be so harsh on James when Sirius and Remus were present, at least when they were reading the book. This way it wasn’t so awkward.

“It might as well be empty,” she said, “He’s so scrawny,” she said, grinning, and carefully looked at James, who gasped, a grin on his face.

“That’s terrible!” he laughed, and Lily shrugged, smiling. Sirius and Remus looked at the couple, feeling a lot better than before. Lily turned to look at Sirius, who smiled and mouthed ‘thank you’ to her.

“Well, mate, she has a point,” Remus said, and James glared at him.

“He’s not _that_ scrawny!”

“If he’s anything like you, he’d be almost invisible,” Sirius said, and James pouted.

“Poor Jamie,” Remus cooed, and James rolled his eyes as the other three laughed at him.

“At least they’re half terrified,” Lily said, and Sirius grinned

“Fear me! I’m a scrawny little child, fear me!” he said, and Lily laughed along with Remus while James shook his head amusedly.

“They’re also half furious,” Remus pointed out, and James snorted

“Let them be furious, there’s nothing they can do,” he said, looking slightly irritated.

“I’d say the terrifiedness is taking over though,” Sirius said gravely, and Lily snorted

“Terrifiedness?”

“Yes,” Sirius said simply, grinning at her. She looked at Remus, who looked as if Sirius’s made up word was a personal insult to him, and beamed. At least she wasn’t the only one irritated by his lack of respect for the English language.

**“Although this was an improvement in many ways, it did become a bit depressing after a while.”**

“Told you,” James said, and the other three rolled their eyes.

“Yes, well done,” Sirius muttered, and James gasped as Sirius shot him a cheeky smile.

**“Harry kept to his room, with his new owl for company.”**

“Now _that’s_ sad,” Sirius said, and both Lily and James shot him irritated glances.

“At least he has some company,” James said weakly, and Remus snorted

“The owl? That’s no company.”

“He could send letters?” Sirius suggested feebly.

“To _who_?” Lily asked, and Sirius grinned sheepishly

“At least he will have company at Hogwarts,” he said, and Lily laughed

“I don’t think you _can’t_ have company at Hogwarts,” she said, and Sirius raised his eyebrows.

“You sound bitter,”

“I am, I’m stuck with you lot,” she said, and the three boys burst out laughing.

“You know you love us,” Sirius said happily, and Lily shook her head, “You don’t?” he gasped, and she shook her head

“You’re ruthless,” Remus said, and Lily grinned, as Sirius pouted and pretended to cry on James’s shoulder.

“Did I hurt little Sirius’s feelings?” she cooed, and Sirius nodded, sniffling magnificently, “Well, suck it up and be a man,” she said, and both James and Remus burst out laughing as Sirius gasped, looking affronted.

“You are terrible at comforting people,” he said, and Lily shrugged, grinning.

“Poor little Sirius,” Remus cooed, and Sirius rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching

“There’s nothing little about me,” he said, winking suggestively at Lily, who scrunched her nose in disgust as the other two boys groaned.

**“He had decided to call her Hedwig,”**

“That name sounds familiar,” Remus muttered.

“No it doesn’t,” Sirius snorted, and James laughed

“I agree with Padfoot,” James said, and Lily frowned

“No, I think it sounds familiar,” she said, and Remus grinned triumphantly at the other two boys, who snorted

“How would it be familiar?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged, continuing to read.

**“a name he had found in _A History of Magic_.”**

“That explains it,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, as James and Sirius burst out laughing and Lily slapped her palm to her forehead.

“They’ve never read _A History of Magic_?” she gasped, and Remus shook his head

“And proud,” Sirius said, puffing out his chest.

“How can you _not_ read _A History of Magic_?” she asked, and Sirius shrugged

“Pretty easily,” he said, and James snorted with laughter, “You just don’t open the book and don’t read it,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly.

“They didn’t read _Hogwarts: A History_ either,” Remus said, and Lily’s eyes widened as James and Sirius shrugged

“I don’t see the big crime there,” James said, and Lily gasped

“You two _never_ read that?” she asked incredulously, and the two boys shook their heads simultaneously, “I cant even look at you,” she said, and Remus grinned as the two boys chuckled.

“Once again, I don’t see the crime,” James said, and Lily crossed her arms.

“So she’s _actually_ not going to interact with us?” Sirius said, and Remus grinned as Lily continued to ignore them.

“It’s not like we didn’t read a holy book, or something,” James mumbled

“But that book has _everything_ in it!” Remus gasped, as Lily threw James an incredulous and disbelieving look at him.

“It’s not like it’s interesting,” Sirius said, and James nodded. Lily looked at Remus, who shook his head, rolling his eyes.

“They’re not worth it,” he said, and Lily sniffed in agreement, as Sirius and James looked at Remus, insulted.

**“His school books were very interesting.”**

Lily threw Sirius a smug smile, “See?” she said, and Sirius rolled his eyes as James and Remus laughed

“My sincerest apologies,” Sirius said.

“I resent the previous implication that the books are not interesting,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted

“You resent all implications on _any_ book being not interesting,” Sirius retorted, and Remus shrugged.

“Because all books _are_ interesting,” he said, and Sirius sighed, shaking his head.

“It’s okay,” said James, patting Sirius’s shoulder soothingly, “I understand you.”

“What would I do without you?” Sirius asked, grinning at James, who chuckled.

**“He lay on his bed reading late into the night, Hedwig swooping in and out of the open window as she pleased.”**

“He sits up late at night reading _textbooks_?” Sirius gasped, and Lily laughed.

“Technically he’s lying down,” she said, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“That’s not the point!”

“He got this from her,” James grumbled, and Lily gasped.

“I resent the implication that I stay up late reading textbooks!”

“It’s true, isn’t it?” James asked, and Lily bit her lip, causing him to grin as Remus and Sirius snorted with laughter.

“Isn’t that extremely bad posture?” Lily said, and James rolled his eyes as the other two boys snickered.

“Way to change the topic,” Remus laughed, and Lily grinned

“Yeah Lily, subtle segway,” Sirius said, and Lily stuck his tongue out at him as the other two laughed.

“Subtle segway?” James asked, chuckling, and Sirius nodded, his chest puffing out with pride.

**“It was lucky that Aunt Petunia didn't come in to vacuum anymore, because Hedwig kept bringing back dead mice.”**

“That is both disgusting and unsanitary,” Remus shuddered, and Lily laughed.

“It must be revolting in there,” Lily shuddered, and both Sirius and James looked amused.

“Why would it be revolting?” Sirius asked, and Lily looked to Remus, who was looking at his friend disgustedly

“Because they’re _mice_!” Lily squeaked, “They carry disease!”

“I thought that was rats,” James said, and Sirius laughed as Lily rolled her eyes and Remus slapped his palm to his forehead.

“That’s not the point,” she said, and James grinned

“There was a point?”

“I hate you,” she said, and James’s eyebrows shot up.

“That was harsh,” Remus said, and Lily grinned at him.

“ _That_ was the point,” she said, and the three boys burst out laughing

“ **Every night before he went to sleep, Harry ticked off another day on the piece of paper he had pinned to the wall, counting down to September the first.”**

“I do that!” Lily squealed.

“Me too!” Remus said. They turned to look at Sirius and James, who snorted

“No, I never look forward to going back to school,” Sirius said, and James chuckled.

“So you don’t miss Hogwarts?” Lily asked, and Sirius shrugged

“How can you miss school?”

“You don’t miss Hogwarts?” Remus asked in a deadpan voice

“No,” Sirius said, and James rolled his eyes

“He’s lying,” he said, and Sirius gasped, “What? Wasn’t it you who was whining about how he wanted to go back to Hogwarts last summer?” he asked, and Sirius flushed as Lily and Remus laughed

“I miss my friends,” he said, and both Remus and James smiled at him, “that’s the only thing I miss about Hogwarts”

“What about the Common Room?” Remus asked, and Sirius snorted

“The campus?” Lily suggested, and Sirius snorted, shaking his head

“The food?” James said, and Sirius burst out laughing, and nodded, much to the other’s amusement

“You know me well mate,” he grinned, and James chuckled, running his hand through his hair.

**“On the last day of August he thought he'd better speak to his aunt and uncle about getting to King's Cross station the next day,”**

“Yes that might be a good idea,” James said, and Sirius burst out laughing

“I cant believe he left it until the last minute,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head.

“He’s his fathers son,” Remus said, and James flushed as Sirius and Lily laughed

“I don’t leave things to the last minute!” he squeaked

“That is true, mate,” Sirius said, turning to Remus

“Really?” Remus asked, his voice dripping in sarcasm

“Yes, otherwise he would’ve asked Evans out during the last minute of seventh year instead of as much as he has,” Sirius said, and both James nad Lily turned admirable shades of magenta

“That was uncalled for,” James choked.

“No it wasn’t,” Sirius grinned, “I was just giving her some reasons to admit she loved us,” eh said, smiling at Lily, who rolled her eyes as the other two boys laughed

“Wouldn’t that just give me reason to hate you?” she asked, and Sirius shook his head wisely

“It would show you how much Prongs here loves you and how much we’ve put up with it, which could only imply that we’re all good people,” he said, and Lily flushed, as did James.

“Er, okay,” she said awkwardly

“How does that show we’re all good people?” Remus asked, and Sirius choked.

“Whose side are you on?” he hissed, as Lily and James laughed.

“I’m on yours, obviously,” Remus said, and Sirius grinned, “But how does it?”

“Well, it shows that Prongs here is dedicated, determined, and strong hearted to put up with all that rejection,” he said, and James flushed, “and it shows that the rest of us are good friends, willing to support each other, comforting and good hearted,” he finished, leaving the other three in a stunned silence, “Good eh?” he grinned, and the other three burst out laughing

“Did you pull that out of your butt, Sirius?” Lily teased, and he winked.

“So do you love us?” he asked hopefully, and Lily laughed

“Maybe,” she said, and Sirius pouted, causing Remus and James to laugh.

**“so he went down to the living room where they were watching a quiz show on television.”**

“Why?” Remus snorted, and the other boys laughed

“What’s wrong with quiz shows?” Lily asked, and they turned to her

“I have no comment,” Sirius said, and James grinned.

“That’s a first,” he said, and Sirius laughed.

“Shut up,” he said, punching James in the shoulder as Remus and Lily laughed

**“He cleared his throat to let them know he was there, and Dudley screamed and ran from the room.”**

The four of them burst out laughing

“What a chivalrous lad,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed

“That’s knight in shining armor material right there,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing

“You would know,” Remus chuckled, and Lily laughed.

“Do you have a knight in shining armor fantasy?” Sirius asked, and Lily flushed

“Er, why?” she asked, her face giving away her answer, and the three boys grinned slyly

“What is it?” Remus teased, and Lily flushed darker

“None of you business, that’s what it is,” she mumbled, and the boys laughed.

“Oh come on!” Sirius whined, “Tell us!”

“No,” she said bluntly, hiding behind her hair

“Please?” James asked, and she shook her head vigorously

“Pretty please?” Remus asked

“With a cherry on top?” Sirius added, and Lily snorted

“Absolutely not,” she said sternly, “End of discussion,” she said, as the boys opened their mouths

“We’ll find out,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily flushed.

“She’s flushing! Now I _really_ want to know,” Remus said, and the other boys laughed as Lily flushed even deeper.

**“"Er - Uncle Vernon?" Uncle Vernon grunted to show he was listening.”**

Sirius grunted.

“What?” Lily asked, and he grinned

“So it works!” he said, and the others chuckled

“Yes, it works,” James said.

“Why?” Sirius asked, and Remus sighed

“Because you made a noise, therefore acknowledging something,” he said, and Sirius grinned. He grunted again, and they all turned to him

“Yes?” Lily asked, and he grinned

“This is never going to get old,” he said, and James rolled his eyes

“It’s already old, mate,” he said, and Sirius pouted as Remus and Lily laughed

**“"Er - I need to be at King's Cross tomorrow to - to go to Hogwarts." Uncle Vernon grunted again.”**

“Can you imagine?” Sirius laughed, and they turned to him, waiting for him to explain.

“Imagine what?” James asked, after a few seconds of them just looking at him and him looking off into space.

“Grunting, at everything,” he said, “I want to try that on McGonagall sometime,” he mused, and Lily burst out laughing

“I would _love_ to see that,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“Then, love, it can be arranged.”

“Is this some scheme to get her to love us?” Remus asked, and Sirius snorted

“No, just me,” eh grinned, and Remus rolled his eyes as James laughed and Lily shook her head fondly.

“It would take a lot,” she said, and Sirius smiled

“That can all be arranged, love.”

“Stop hitting on her,” Remus snorted, and Sirius sighed

“You take away all my fun,” he said, and then bit his lip as he saw the murderous expression on James’s face.

**“"Would it be all right if you gave me a lift?" Grunt. Harry supposed that meant yes.”**

“Okay, now walk away,” Lily said, and the boys laughed

“Why?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged

“Why not?” she countered, and Sirius grinned

“Touché”

**“"Thank you."”**

Lily smiled, and Sirius snorted

“Are you going to go on about how polite he is?” he asked, and Lily gasped, affronted, as James and Remus laughed.

**“He was about to go back upstairs when Uncle Vernon actually spoke.”**

“NO!” Sirius gasped dramatically, and Lily sighed, as the boys laughed

“It’s the apocalypse!” James said, and Sirius laughed, nodding

“Run for the hills,” Remus said

“Call the newspapers!” James said.

“Okay, enough,” Lily laughed, and the boys grinned at her

“Why?” Sirius teased.

“Because I want to know what these newspaper alerting words are,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing. James grinned at the fact that she had used the phrase that _he_ had yelled out.

“ **"Funny way to get to a wizards' school, the train. Magic carpets all got punctures, have they?"”**

Lily, James and Remus rolled their eyes

Sirius chuckled

“Don’t tell me you thought that was funny?” James said, bewildered, turning to look at his best mate, who was laughing madly

“It was!” he gasped, and Lily sighed

“I cannot believe you just found something Vernon Dursley said hilarious,” she said, shaking her head in disappointment

“Angry?” Sirius teased, and Lily nodded

“I don’t know if I can love you now,” she said sadly, and Sirius’s eyes widened as James and Remus burst out laughing

“FAIR MAIDEN LET IT NOT BE SO!” he yelled dramatically, spreading his arms wide and accidentally hitting James in the face.

“Sadly, it is so,” Lily said, and Sirius pouted magnificently as James and Remus chortled.

“My life is over,” Sirius said, turning to James, “I’m going to fall over and die,” he said, and dramatically fell over, so his head was lying on James’s lap. They watched as he peeked and eye open and then sat up angrily, “LILY!”

“What?” she asked, and he crossed his arms.

“You’re supposed to be sobbing madly for me!” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed

“I’m sorry, I never got the memo,” she said, and Sirius huffed

“Damn owls,” he muttered, and the other three laughed, “Do you love me now?” he asked Lily, who sighed

“I’ll consider it.”

“YES!” he yelled happily, punching the air, causing his friends to roll their eyes and Lily to giggle.

**“Harry didn't say anything.  "Where is this school, anyway?"”**

The boys looked at each other and bit their lips.

“Don’t tell me you lot don’t know where we are?” Lily said, amused

“I really don’t,” Sirius said, frowning

“We’re in the UK?” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes, as did Sirius and Remus

“I can’t believe I don’t know the answer to this,” Remus said, eyes wide, “I don’t know where we are!”

“Don’t get your knickers in a knot,” Lily laughed, “we’re in Scotland.”

“WHAT?” James bellowed, as the other two looked at her incredulously

“We’re in Scotland?” Sirius asked, as if waiting for Lily to burst out laughing and tell them that she was joking,

“Yes, we are in Scotland,” she said, nad the boys eyebrows flew up.

“Scotland,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head, “Mind blown.”

“I know mate,” Sirius laughed, nodding.

“Your minds may be blown,” James chuckled, “Mines blasted.”

“Mines splattered all over the walls,” Sirius said,

“Well mine-“

“Okay,” Lily laughed, “I get it, your minds are blown, let’s not get too disgusting here.”

“Lily! Way to ruin the fun!” Sirius whined, and Lily laughed.

**"I don't know," said Harry, realizing this for the first time.”**

“When do you think he’ll find out?” Sirius asked

“Well, if he has a know-it-all friend, like Lily, he’ll find out soon,” James said, and Lily gasped as Sirius and Remus laughed

“Potter!”

“Why am I Potter?” he asked incredulously, and Lily smiled sweetly

“Because you called me a know-it-all.”

“Sorry your know-it-all-ness,” he said, and Lily gasped again, throwing a pillow at him, which he ducked, laughing, as the other two rolled around in hysterics.

“Shut up Potter,” she said, giggling.

“Know-it-all-ness,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head, “Hats off to you mate.”

“Thank you,” he said happily.

“Well done your toeraged-ness,” Remus muttered, and Lily burst out laughing, along with Sirius, as James grinned

“Well played.”

“Thanks,” Remus smiled, and they all chuckled lightly before looking at the book.

**“He pulled the ticket Hagrid had given him out of his pocket.”**

“No! No! No!” Lily squeaked, and the boys turned to her, alarmed.

“What? What? What?” Sirius said, and the other two boys snickered as Lily rolled her eyes, fighting a smile.

“He’s going to show or read out the ticket!” Lily said, obviously distressed.

“And?” Remus asked, after exchanging questioning glances with James and Sirius, who were now looking at Lily as if she were insane.

“How do you think they’re going to react to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters?” she asked, and simulatneously, all three boys’ expressions of amusement fell.

“Stupid child!” James exclaimed, “Don’t do that!”

“He’s an _idiot_ ,” Sirius said, shaking his head irritably.

“James, _why_ did you pass on this lack of thinking about consequences to him?” Remus asked, and James sighed, shaking his head.

“That’s better,” Lily muttered, smiling slyly to herself as the boys continued to squabble about the sheer idiocy that was Harry’s idea to read his ticket out.

**“"I just take the train from platform nine and three-quarters at eleven o'clock," he read.”**

“Idiot,” Sirius said, and suddenly there was a pillow in his face, “OI!”

“Do _not_ call my son and idiot,” Lily said. Sirius would have laughed, had her expression not been so completely terrifying that he felt no desire to laugh.

“Yeah Pads,” James said, turning to Sirius, grinning at his best mates expression of pure terror.

“I hope you die,” Sirius said, “Oh, wait, you _did_ ,” he said, and both Remus and Lily burst out laughing at James’s incredulous and amused expression

“I thought you didn’t _want_ me to die,” James said, “Or was it not you who cried when we read that part of the book?”

“That was different,” Sirius mumbled, and James laughed, putting his arm around his best mates shoulder.

“I love you too Pads.”

“You do?” Sirius cried dramatically, batting his eyelids at James, who grinned.

“Cue the romantic kissing scene,” Lily said, and Remus burst out laughing

“Would you be jealous?” Sirius teased, “I would be kissing your husband, after all.”

“She wouldn’t be,” said James, “AS you would not be kissing her husband anyway,” he said, and both Lily and Remus laughed

“I believe you are _not_ her husband,” Sirius shot back, and James laughed.

“You’re the one who referred to me as her husband,” he retorted, and Sirius swore.

“Damn. You win,” he said, and then looked over at Lily, who had rolled her eyes, “What?”

“Nothing,” she sung, and Remus grinned

“What?” Sirius asked, and Remus chuckled

“Nothing,” he sung, mimicking Lily, who grinned at him.

“Seriously, what?” James asked, nad Remus sighed.

“I have to tell him, Marauder code,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Bullshit,” she said, and the boys laughed

“So?” Sirius said, turning to Remus, who grinned.

“She said ‘I love how you two discuss this when, at this moment in time, there isn’t even a remote possibility of him being my husband’,” Remus laughed, and Sirius burst out laughing as James looked down sadly and Lily blushed madly.

“That was uncalled for,” Lily said, and James smiled slightly

“Thanks for defending my honour,” he said, and Lily laughed

“There’s no honour in being defended by the person who just rejected you,” she said, and James laughed, as Sirius and Remus chuckled.

“You know,” Sirius said quietly, turning to Remus, as James and Lily continued to bicker, “She’d be really good for him.”

“She would,” Remus agreed, smiling at James, who was laughing at Lily’s blushing face.

**“His aunt and uncle stared.”**

“I’d look away,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Every single sentence, Sirius?” she asked, and he grinned

“Only for you love,” he smiled, and Lily sighed, shaking her head, as James and Remus laughed.

**“"Platform what?"”**

“Do you not have ears?” Sirius asked, and then grinned at Lily, “Only for you.”

“I really don’t like you,” she said and Sirius pouted as James and Remus laughed

“I see you’re drifting further, rather than closer, to your goal of getting her to love you,” James said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him

“At least she loves me more than she loves you,” he said, and James bit his lip as Sirius grinned, “I bet she loves me the most,” he added, grinning at Remus, who chuckled

“That’s not true,” Lily said, “I love Remus the most,” she said, and Remus grinned cheekily at James and Sirius, who yelled out, outraged.

“Well that’s not fair!” Sirius whined, “I’m trying _so_ hard!”

“I’m your _husband_ to be!” James yelled indignantly, and Remus sniggered madly.

“You’re an evil person,” Sirius said, glaring at Remus.

“I agree, I hate you,” James said, and Remus shrugged, grinning at the laughing Lily.

“At least tell me you love me more than Peter,” Sirius begged, turning to Lily, who grinned as James turned, his eyes pleading.

“Yes, I love you both more than Peter,” she said, and the two boys grinned, hi-fiving one another

“Take _that_ Wormtail!”

“He’s not here,” Lily said, and both James and Sirius turned to look at her blankly, their twitching mouths betraying their amusement.

“Well, that’s only expected,” said Remus, “She hasn’t talked to him.”

“Shut up you,” James said, and Remus laughed.

**“"Nine and three-quarters."”**

“Yes, repeat it you little genius,” James said.

“Oh leave him alone,” Lily said, giggling.

**“"Don't talk rubbish," said Uncle Vernon. "There is no platform nine and three-quarters."”**

“I respectfully disagree,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“Respectfully?”

“Well, let him think something of himself,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed, as did James and Remus.

“You have done a lot against him, what, with the fat jokes,” Remus said seriously, nodding, and Sirius sighed gravely

“Let the bloke be happy,” he said and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus howled with laughter.

**“"It's on my ticket."”**

“We understand,” Remus said sympathetically

“OF course he knows its on your bloody ticket. You read the thing out loud didn’t you?” Sirius said, and Lily sighed

“He was only-“

“Stop defending James junior!” Sirius hissed, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up as James sniggered

“I would _never_ defend James Junior,” she said, “I’m defending my son Harry.”

“Lame,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged, grinning.

**“"Barking," said Uncle Vernon, "howling mad, the lot of them. You'll see. You just wait. All right, we'll take you to King's Cross. We're going up to London tomorrow anyway, or I wouldn't bother."”**

“Howling Mad,” Sirius snickered, “that’s one I’ve never heard before.”

“I have,” Lily shrugged, and Sirius waved his hand

“You don’t matter,” he said, and Lily raised her eyebrows at him threateningly

“I like you even less now,” she said, and Sirius gasped as James and Remus snickered

“Well played Lils,” James said, and Lily smiled.

“Why wouldn’t they bother?” Sirius asked irritably, “Wouldn’t Dumbledore blow them to bits if they didn’t take him?”

“I doubt it would be Dumbledore,” Lily said, “Hagrid would blow them to bits.”

“That’s true,” Sirius snorted, as James and Remus laughed.

**“"Why are you going to London?"”**

“Who cares?” Sirius countered, and Lily groaned

“Sirius! I’m here to read the story, not listen to your stupid comments,” she said, and Sirius laughed happily

“But you love my stupid comments,” he said, and Lily shook her head, smiling.

“That smile basically gave away your answer,” Remus said, and Lily laughed

“Alas, he’s right,” she said, and Sirius grinned proudly.

“He’s right?” James gasped, and Sirius punched him in the shoulder as Lily and Remus laughed

**“Harry asked, trying to keep things friendly.”**

“Such a good little boy,” Sirius sniffed, and Lily rolled her eyes, “Don’t pretend you weren’t thinking the same thing!”

“I wasn’t,” Lily said, “I was thinking about how he shouldn’t have bothered asking because it’s really not worth hearing the answer,” she said, and both Remus nad James laughed as Sirius grinned

“Have the two of you done a body swap thing?” Remus asked, and Sirius’s eyes twinkled.

“I would _love_ to swap with her,” he said, and Lily flushed, “Think of all the fun I’d have!”

James’s hand came out of nowhere and hit Sirius, hard, on the back of the head, causing his head to slam down into the coffee table.

“BLOODY HELL!” Sirius yelled, turning angrily to his friend, who wasn’t looking at him. Lily looked at James, who looked up right at that moment and caught her eyes, “PRONGS!”

“Shush!” Remus hissed, and Sirius turned to him

“But he j-“

“Shut up, _please_ ,” Remus begged, and gestured to Lily and James, who were looking at each other. Sirius sighed, and rubbed the back of his head while the two had a moment.

“Bloody rude of him,” he muttered, and Remus grinned.

“You deserved it,”

“That he did,” Lily nodded, turning quickly away from James, who shook his head, grinning.

“Rude!” Sirius yelled, and Lily shrugged

“The fact that you didn’t cry made me like you more,” she said, and Sirius grinned self satisfactorily as James mouthed ‘thank you’ to her.

**“"Taking Dudley to the hospital," growled Uncle Vernon. "Got to have that ruddy tail removed before he goes to Smeltings.””**

The four burst out laughing

“I forgot about that tail!” James wheezed, obviously in a better mood after the brief moment with Lily.

“How could you forget?” Remus wheezed incredulously

“I agree,” Sirius panted, gasping for air, “The _tail_ Prongs!”

“Honestly,” Lily giggled, shaking her head, “You should remember things like this! It was hilarious!”

“I think we should just give her an obscure nickname and be done with it,” Sirius said happily, gesturing ot Lily, who flushed happily, “I mean, she’s practically one of us!”

“Obscure nickname, Sirius?” James chuckled, and Sirius nodded.

“You can now be…” Sirius scratched his chin, thinking deeply, “What’s your patronus?”

“A doe,” she said, and the three boys choked, “What?” she asked nervously, as both Remus and Sirius turned to the frozen-in-shock James.

“Your patronus is a doe?” James asked, and Lily nodded.

“I can _show_ you,” she said awkwardly, and the three boys nodded vigorously, “Honestly you’re all so strange,” she said, and pulled her wand out, “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ”

The silver doe burst out of the end of her wand and landed gracefully on its feet in front of them, the three boys looking at it in awe. James turned to Lily with an awestruck expression on his face, as well as a loving smile.

“Seriously, what?” she asked, looking at the stunned boys

“Do you know what James’s patronus is?” Remus asked, and Lily shook her head, as James followed the patronus around with his eyes. Before Remus could say anything, James whipped his wand out.

“ _Expecto Patronum_ ,” he whispered, not taking his eyes off the doe, and a beautiful silver creature burst out the end of his wand.

Lily screamed, and then turned to James, who was watching the two patronusses. As he looked, the stag pranced over to the doe and the two nuzzled each other. Suddenly, the doe was gone, and Lily was tucking her wand back inside her robes.

“Li-“

“Shut up,” she said, her voice shaking, as she grabbed the book and turned to the right page.

“Lily,” James said gently, but she ignored him. He noticed that her eyes were glazed. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw the stag vanish.

“Wha-“

“Just shut up!” she hissed, and Sirius bit his lip quickly, looking warily at Remus, who looked amused.

“What?” he asked, and Remus grinned

“She likes him,” he whispered back, and Sirius grinned as the incredibly shaky Lily cleared her throat to read.

**“Harry woke at five o'clock the next morning and was too excited and nervous to go back to sleep.”**

“I know the feeling,” Remus smiled, and Sirius grinned. James was still watching Lily, who was completely pale

“Are you feeling okay?” Sirius asked Lily, noticing her pale complexion.

“Fine,” she squeaked, nodding, and Sirius snickered quietly

“What?” James asked, turning to Sirius, who shook his head, throwing his arm around his best friends shoulders.

“I think we should call her Lily,” he said, and James chuckled as Lily grinned slightly

“Wherever did you get that idea?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“Not Lily as in your name, but the flower,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed

“Brilliant idea,” she said, and Sirius nodded happily.

“Thanks, I thought of it myself,” he said, and Lily giggled

“You can think?” she gasped, and both Remus and James guffawed, loudly, as Sirius rolled his eyes, grinning.

“ **He got up and pulled on his jeans because he didn't want to walk into the station in his wizard's robes”**

“Nobody does,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“We know,” she replied, and Sirius blew her a kiss

“Sorry Lily,” he said, and then sighed, “I can’t tell if that’s your nickname or your legit name,” he grumbled, and Lily laughed, as did the other two

“You should make them different,” Remus said, and Sirius nodded.

“I saw we call you L’flower,” he said, and Lily laughed

“Sounds French,” she said, and Sirius laughed

“I do speak French, you know,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I think L’flower is a terrible nickname,” Remus said, and Sirius sighed

“You’re right, how about…”

“Lily-Flower?” James suggested, and Sirius’s eyes grew wide

“That’s _perfect!_ ” he squeaked, throwing his arms around James happily, “You are my favorite person _ever_.”

“Thanks,” James chuckled

“Lily-Flower!” Sirius sung, nad Lily smiled at him.

“Yes?”

“Ah, we have now sealed the nickname,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two laughed.

**“- he'd change on the train.”**

“You wont be the only one,” Sirius said, and then grinned at Lily,”You know I’m only doing this so you’ll yell at me about interrupting every sentence, right?”

“Yes,” Lily said, “That’s why I’m not yelling at you,” she winked, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus laughed

**“He checked his Hogwarts list yet again to make sure he had everything he needed, saw that Hedwig was shut safely in her cage, and then paced the room, waiting for the Dursleys to get up.”**

“He paced for two hours?” Lily asked incredulously, and the boys chuckled.

“Exercise?” James suggested, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius burst out laughing

“That’s hardly exercise,” she said.

“Well, everyone paces,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her had.

“You don’t pace?” Remus asked incredulously, and Lily giggled, shaking her head

“It’s so boring! I’d rather go for a walk,” she said, and James shook his head incredulously.

“Pacing is hardly boring,” he said, and Lily shrugged

“You’re walking in _the same place_ ,” she said, “There’s nothing new!”

“She has a point,” Sirius said, and James snorted

“I enjoy pacing,” he said, and Lily laughed

“So that makes it amazing, right?” she said, and James nodded, smiling.

“Just like Quidditch,” Remus said, and James gasped as Lily and Sirius laughed.

“That’s not fair,” said Sirius, “Quidditch is actually amazing.”

“You have a point,” Remus sighed, and Sirius grinned at James, who winked at him.

**“Two hours later, Harry's huge, heavy trunk had been loaded into the Dursleys' car, Aunt Petunia had talked Dudley into sitting next to Harry, and they had set off.”**

“He had mummy talk him into sitting next to the scary person?” Sirius teased, and Lily laughed

“He has a tail, Sirius,” she said, “Give the poor boy a break,” she laughed, and the others grinned.

“I love how the fat bully is scared of your scrawny too-nice kid,” Remus snickered, and Sirius burst out laughing.

“He’s not scrawny!” James squeaked

“That’s a lie,” Lily said smiling at James, who sighed dejectedly, “He’s not _too_ nice!”

“Yes, he is,” James nodded sadly, “That is all your fault.”

“I am not too nice!” she said defensively, and the three boys snorted simultaneously

“I respectfully disagree,” Sirius said, and Lily looked at him skeptically

“Respectfully?”

“Yes, this way I hope to gain your affection,” he winked, and Lily giggled as James and Remus shook their heads fondly.

**“They reached King's Cross at half past ten.”**

“Isn’t that cutting it a bit close?” Lily asked, “Especially if you have no idea where to go?”

“Yes,” Remus nodded.

“Not like he had a bloody choice,” James muttered, and Lily sighed.

“CHEER UP!” Sirius said happily, “He’s going to _Hogwarts_!” he exclaimed, and, without their permission, both James and Lily’s lips turned up into grins.

**“Uncle Vernon dumped Harry's trunk onto a cart and wheeled it into the station for him.”**

“That’s out of character,” Lily said, blinking in shock.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Sirius muttered

“He’s right,” said Remus, “he’s going to be really nasty.”

“Why?” Lily asked

“Because there is no platform nine and three quarters in plain sight,” James said simply

“I hope he gets on the train,” Sirius said, and Lily smiled

“He will.”

“Why are you so positive?” Sirius asked irritably, as James and Remus chuckled

“Because,” Lily said.

“That’s not an answer,” Sirius teased, and Lily grinned

“It is to me.”

“You’re a mystery,” Sirius accused, and Lily grinned

“A good one, I hope,” she laughed, and Sirius’s expression softened as he smiled at her.

“Of course,” he said honestly, and Lily beamed. James turned to Sirius, a mocking grin on his face, “What?” Sirius asked.

“Someone’s finally accepted their soft side,” he said quietly, and Sirius whacked him in the arm.

“She’s a bloody charmer.”

“That she is,” James nodded grimly, and Sirius sniggered.

**“Harry thought this was strangely kind until Uncle Vernon stopped dead, facing the platforms with a nasty grin on his face.”**

“Predictable,” Remus snorted and Lily laughed

“I have lost all respect for him,” Sirius said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“You had respect for him in the first place?” she asked, and Sirius shook his head, shocked

“I have no idea where that came from,” he said, and the other three burst out laughing.

**“"Well, there you are, boy. Platform nine - platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet, do they?””**

“Nasty old cow,” Sirius said irritably, and the others nodded angrily.

“How can you possibly be so cruel to a child?” Remus asked, and Sirius shrugged.

“I don’t have it in me,” Lily said, and the boys snorted

“Lily, you don’t have it in you to be cruel to a Slytherin,” Sirius said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him while James and Reus laughed

“That’s not true,” she said, “I prank Slytherins.”

“You do not!” Sirius gasped, grinning at her.

“I do,” she nodded, grinning.

“What did you do?” James asked, a smile growing on his face

“I’m the one who had them singing about Godric Gryffindor that one time,” she said quietly, as if admitting to a crime, and the three boys looked at her incredulously before bursting into laughter

“That was _you_?” James breathed, looking at her in wonder.

“Yes,” she said, “ _My_ prank that you lot stole credit for,” she teased, and they grinned

“We never stole credit, we just took your detentions,” Remus teased, and Lily grinned cheekily

“Ah well,” she said, and they shook their heads, grinning.

“Oh Lily-Flower,” Sirius sighed, shaking his head, grinning, “I’m liking you more and more.”

**“He was quite right, of course.”**

“For once,” Remus sniffed, and Sirius snickered.

**“There was a big plastic number nine over one platform and a big plastic number ten over the one next to it, and in the middle, nothing at all.”**

“That’s not true,” Sirius said, and Lily looked at him.

“Are you going to state that the platform is in between them?” she asked, and he grinned

“Lily-Flower, dear, you seem to think I state the obvious,” he said, and Lily snorted, as James and Remus grinned, “I was simply going to point out that there was a brick wall between the two.”

“Oh, of course, how silly of me,” she giggled, and Sirius grinned

“Do you love me yet?” he asked, nad Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James laughed

“I don’t know,” she said, placing her hand on her heart dramatically.

“When will you know?” Sirius asked, pouting cheekily

“You’ll be the first to know when I do,” she winked, and Sirius laughed, as did Remus and James

“I’m clad we inducted you into our group,” Sirius said happily, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“You’re serious?” she asked, and Sirius snorted

“Yes, I am,” he winked, and both Remus and James giggled madly while Lily grinned, shaking her head, “And I _was_ serious about that,” he said, “I gave you a nickname for Merlin’s sakes!”

“You’re an official Marauder!” Remus announced. Lily rolled her eyes, but James saw the smile on her face, and winked at his friends, who grinned happily.

**“"Have a good term," said Uncle Vernon with an even nastier smile. He left without another word. Harry turned and saw the Dursleys drive away.”**

“THEY LEFT HIM THERE?” James yelled angrily, Lily nodding in agreement.

“Obviously, weren’t you listening?” Sirius asked, and James’s mouth twitched with laughter.

“Shut up,” he said, and Sirius grinned, before shaking his head

“Shouldn’t you be furious?” Lily asked him, and he shrugged

“Sirius isn’t because he already knows that Harry’s going to Hogwarts,” Remus said, and Lily smiled as Sirius threw him an incredulous look

“It’s like you read my mind!” he gasped, and James snorted

“Not so hard ot do,” he said, and Sirius threw him an evil look as Lily and Remus laughed

“I resent that”

“Resent what?” James teased

“The implication that my mind is easy to read,” he said, “my mind is complex!”

“Okay,” Lily said, smiling at him. Sirius grinned at her.

“Lily-Flower, I really do love you,” Sirius smiled, and Lily laughed, “Aren’t you going to say it back?” he asked, and Lily sighed as the other two boys burst out laughing

“You’re never going to give up, are you?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“I’m like Prongs in that way,” he said, and James choked as the other three burst out laughing.

**“All three of them were laughing.”**

“Twats,” Remus said bitterly, and Lily nodded in agreement.

“It is rather funny,” Sirius said, and they turned to him, “Don’t tell me you lot wouldn’t laugh in that situation!”

“Not if it was a child,” James said, and Sirius sighed

“Fine,” he mumbled, “What if it were me?”

“I would have wet myself,” James said, and Sirius gasped as the other two burst out laughing.

**“Harry's mouth went rather dry. What on earth was he going to do? He was starting to attract a lot of funny looks, because of Hedwig.”**

“I hate those damn muggles who keep staring,” Lily said, nodding in agreement

“Love, you’re a muggle,” Sirius said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him,

“No, she’s an honorary muggle,” Remus said, and Lily laughed, nodding in agreement

“I like the sound of that,” she laughed, “They loved me so much they let me into their world,” she said seriously, and the boys snickered

“Technically, _our_ world loved you too much,” Remus said, and Lily shrugged

“Both worlds wanted me so they made me both,” she said, and Sirius snickered

“You’re starting to sound like Prongs.”

“OI!” James yelled, flushing, as the others laughed

“It’s true,” Lily said, and James huffed

“No reason to make me feel awkward,” he mumbled, and Lily grinned

“No, that’s all the more reason,” she winked, and James’s stomach flipped over.

**“He'd have to ask someone.”**

“Don’t you dolt!” Remus laughed.

“Can you imagine the muggle security guards face when someone asks for platform nine and three quarters?” James snickered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“That’s _your_ child,” Sirius said, and James paled, causing the others to snicker

“I keep forgetting,” he squeaked.

“Worst. Father. Ever,” Sirius said, and winked at James, who laughed

“I’m sixteen, leave me alone,” he said, and Sirius chuckled.

**“He stopped a passing guard, but didn't dare mention platform nine and three-quarters. The guard had never heard of Hogwarts and when Harry couldn't even tell him what part of the country it was in, he started to get annoyed, as though Harry was being stupid on purpose.”**

“I would _love_ to do that!” Sirius exclaimed

“Do what?” Lily asked

“Be stupid on purpose _just_ to irritate people,” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“I thought you were already doing that,” she said, faux abashed, and both James and Remus howled with laughter as Sirius chuckled

“Nice one!” Remus grinned, reaching over the coffee table to hi-five Lily, who laughed.

“Thanks,” she said, and Sirius chuckled

“I agree with you, mate,” James said, turning to Sirius, “We should do that next time!”

“YES!” Sirius exclaimed, “We should go to Kings Cross and be stupid to the guards!”

“Deal,” James grinned, and Lily rolled her eyes. How did she get herself involved with these idiots?

“Onto more important matters,” an amused Remus said, “How is your son going to get to Hogwarts?”

“No idea,” James said, running his hand through his hair, “it’ll be magical,” he said, and then cracked up at his own joke

“Oh wow,” Sirius said, shaking his head, shoulders shaking from laughter.

**“Getting desperate, Harry asked for the train that left at eleven o'clock, but the guard said there wasn't one. In the end the guard strode away, muttering about time wasters.”**

Sirius snickered.

“I hope he finds it soon!” Lily said, twirling her hair in her finger, “The train is _never_ late,” she said, and the boys shrugged

“He’ll find it,” James shrugged.

“How do you know?” she asked, and James grinned

“The _title_ ,” he said, “The chapter’s called ‘The Journey _from_ Platform Nine and Three-Quarters’,” he said, “That implies that he leaves from the platform,” he shrugged, and Lily flushed

“Aren’t you the smart one?” Sirius teased, and Lily giggled

“Sometimes,” she said, “It’s a curse.” The boys laughed.

“Were you _always_ this fun?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged

“You lot bring out the worst in me,” she said sadly, and they snickered.

“But you love it?” James asked hopefully, and she nodded

“Do you love us?” Sirius asked, and Lily laughed as Remus and James sighed

“Let it go!” James urged, and Sirius shook his head, grinning

“I will get it out of her,” he said, and Lily grinned.

**“Harry was now trying hard not to panic.”**

“Oi!” James said, “You’re a Potter. Potter’s don’t panic!”

“Lies,” Sirius coughed, and James chose to ignore him as Remus and Lily laughed.

“At least he’s making an effort to be a Potter,” Remus teased, and James rolled his eyes, grinning.

“You lot are terrible,” James said, “I don’t like you.”

“I know,” Sirius grinned, pinching James’s cheek, causing him to swat the hand away and Lily and Remus to laugh, “But you love us,”

“Yes, I do,” said James, laughing.

“See Lily-Flower! It’s not so hard to admit!”

“Well, it has to be true to admit it,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“Come on love, we both know it’s true.”

“No, we don’t,” she said, and Sirius’s expression fell, causing James and Remus to laugh.

**“According to the large clock over the arrivals board, he had ten minutes left to get on the train to Hogwarts and he had no idea how to do it; he was stranded in the middle of a station with a trunk he could hardly lift, a pocket full of wizard money, and a large owl.”**

“That’s quite a situation you’ve got yourself in, mate,” Sirius said, whistling.

“That was a completely useless and unnecessarily obvious comment,” Lily said bluntly, and both Remus and James burst out laughing as Sirius grinned slyly.

“That was such a blunt comment, Evans,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged

“I try,” she laughed, and the boys grinned.

“You’ve got serious mood swing-age,” Sirius grinned, and then flushed darkly, clearing his throat.

“Pads, you _never_ say that to a girl,” Remus said, and Sirius hid his face in his hands as James flushed and Lily laughed.

“I’m sorry!” he said to Lily, who continued to laugh.

“You don’t say that because you never know if, well-“

“I’m not,” Lily laughed, tears of laughter seeping down her face, and saw the three boys visibly relax.

**“Hagrid must have forgotten to tell him something you had to do, like tapping the third brick on the left to get into Diagon Alley. He wondered if he should get out his wand and start tapping the ticket inspector's stand between platforms nine and ten.”**

“DO IT!” Sirius yelled happily, “THAT WOULD BE SO FUNNY!”

“No, he might cause something to explode,” James said, grinning.

“Exactly!” Sirius yelled happily

“Sirius Black, stop trying to get my son expelled before he even gets to Hogwarts,” Lily said, and Sirius snorted

“He’s the famous Harry Potter,” he said, “he wont be expelled”

“HE has a point,” Remus chuckled, and Lily huffed.

“Lily hates double standards,” James said, and Lily grinned, nodding.

“How do _you_ know?” Sirius asked, and James shrugged

“She told me.”

“When?” Remus retorted

“Once when I was rejecting him,” Lily grinned, and James laughed, nodding.

**“At that moment a group of people passed just behind him and he caught a few words of what they were saying.**

**"- packed with Muggles, of course -" Harry swung round.”**

“THEY’RE MAGICAL! GO AFTER THEM!” Sirius shrieked, and the other three winced

“We _know_!” Remus squeaked, smacking in Sirius’s direction.

“HE WONT GO!” Sirius yelled

“Why are you yelling?” James asked, and Sirius shrugged

“I’m excited!” he squeaked, and the other three rolled their eyes, laughing.

“Me too mate,” James chuckled, “Now shut up so I can see what’s going on with him, yeah?”

“Anything for you Jamesie-poo,” Sirius said, blowing James a kiss, which earned him a lot of chuckles.

**“The speaker was a plump woman who was talking to four boys, all with flaming red hair.”**

“Weasley!” James said, and they turned to him, bewildered

“How do you know this?” Lily asked, and James grinned

“I know Arthur,” he said, and Lily sighed, shaking her head, “All the Weasleys have had red hair.”

“He’s right,” Sirius said, nodding, “It’s a Weasley trait.”

“How are you sure it’s them?” Remus countered.

“Because no other magical folk have red hair,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily cleared her throat, loudly.

“You’re a muggle,” James said, and Lily shook her head as the boys chuckled.

**“Each of them was pushing a trunk like Harry's in front of him - and they had an owl.”**

“Oh yes, that confirms it,” Sirius said sarcastically

“It does actually,” Lily said, and Sirius flushed

“Right, don’t know why I used sarcasm there,” he said, and the others snickered.

**“Heart hammering, Harry pushed his cart after them. They stopped and so did he, just near enough to hear what they were saying.”**

“Eavesdropper,” Sirius smirked

“He’s a true Marauder,” Remus grinned, shaking his head.

“Isn’t that rude?” Sirius asked Lily cheekily, and Lily grinned as the boys burst out laughing

“It is, but sometimes you have to do these things,” she said, and James’s eyes widened

“We should record this,” he said to his friends, “Then we can just replay it every time she ends up telling us off!”

“Brilliant idea Prongs, mate,” Sirius laughed.

“You should’ve thought about it before she said it so we _could_ record it,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, “your idea is useless now.”

“That’s mean,” pouted James, “We could _ask_ her to say it again!”

“No, you can’t,” grinned Lily, and James sighed dejectedly as Sirius and Remus snickered.

**“"Now, what's the platform number?" said the boys' mother.”**

“Nine and three-quarters,” Sirius said, and they all snorted

“Very good Sirius,” Remus chuckled

“Brilliant. Absolutely fantastic,” James agreed, nodding.

“Would you like a cookie for that?” Lily teased, and Sirius nodded happily, “Well I don’t have one,” she said, and both Remus and James burst out laughing

“That’s not fair!” Sirius whined

“Well, you don’t get a cookie for _everything_ you do,” she retorted, and Sirius huffed irritably as Remus and James smirked. 

**"Nine and three-quarters!" piped a small girl, also red-headed, who was holding her hand, "Mom, can't I go...?"”**

Sirius and Remus looked at James, who flushed.

“What?” Lily asked curiously.

“That’s who Harry’s going to end up marrying,” James said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“How do you know this?” she asked, and Sirius sniggered

“Because, all the Potter men have married red headed women,” he said, winking at Lily, who flushed.

“What?” she squeaked, and James nodded, laughing.

“All the Potter women are red heads,” he said, and Lily huffed, crossing her arms

“We believe that’s why James fell for you, initially,” Remus said, and James flushed darkly, as did Lily.

“So you’re assuming that this girl, Ginny, is going to end up with my son?” Lily asked, and they nodded.

“You’ll see,” Sirius smiled, and Lily sighed, scratching her head.

**“"You're not old enough, Ginny, now be quiet. All right, Percy, you go first." What looked like the oldest boy marched toward platforms nine and ten.**

**Harry watched, careful not to blink in case he missed it - but just as the boy reached the dividing barrier between the two platforms, a large crowd of tourists came swarming in front of him and by the time the last backpack had cleared away, the boy had vanished.”**

“Merlin! It’s like magic!” Sirius breathed, and both he and James broke down in a fit of manly giggles.

“I cant believe I’m friends with them,” Remus muttered, grinning.

“You’re trying not to laugh,” James said, winking at Remus, who chuckled.

**“"Fred, you next," the plump woman said.**

**"I'm not Fred, I'm George," said the boy. "Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother. Can’t you tell I'm George?"”**

“Twins!” Remus exclaimed, and Lily looked at him, alarmed

“Remus loves twins,” Sirius said to Lily, “finds them fascinating.”

“They _are_ ,” said Remus earnestly, “They’re _identical!_ ”

“Don’t even,” James muttered to Lily, who opened her mouth to say something to Remus, and closed it after James spoke.

**“"Sorry, George, dear."**

**"Only joking, I am Fred," said the boy, and off he went.”**

Sirius and James sniggered madly and Remus chuckled

“I like these twins,” Sirius grinned

“I bet they’re troublemakers,” Lily grinned, and the boys nodded happily

“At least we know _someone_ is there wrecking havoc for us,” James said happily, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius nodded in agreement.

“This is why _I_ want a twin,” Sirius said.

“I’m glad you don’t have one,” Lily shuddered, “That would be crazy.”

“Because you’d die of striking good looks?” Sirius asked, and Lily snorted, causing Sirius’s jaw to drop and James and Remus to snigger manically.

“Because you’d be terrors,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“I can deal with that,” he grinned happily.

**“His twin called after him to hurry up, and he must have done so, because a second later, he had gone - but how had he done it?”**

“Magic,” Sirius said, and the other three burst out laughing, “Sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

“Do you see any of us complaining?” James asked, and Sirius made a big show of looking around, before shaking his head, causing James to snort.

**“Now the third brother was walking briskly toward the barrier he was almost there - and then, quite suddenly, he wasn't anywhere.”**

Sirius burst out laughing, “I _love_ how confused this child is,” he snickered, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“He doesn’t know what’s going on! Leave him alone,” she said, and Remus grinned at her

“That sounds overtly defensive,” he said, and Lily flushed slightly

“It _does_ ,” Sirius grinned, “were you confused?”

“Yes,” Lily said, looking down at the book, and the boys sniggered madly.

“She didn’t know what was going on! Leave her alone,” James said, and the boys burst out laughing as James grinned, repeating Lily’s words. Lily rolled her eyes, a smile creeping up onto her face.

“Oh, go rot in hell, all of you,” she said irritably, and the boys grinned.

“We love you too,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted as the other boys laughed

“ _Still_ not loving you,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

“I WILL GET IT OUT OF YOU EVANS!”

“Okay,” Lily snorted, and James and Remus hid sniggers as Sirius gaped at Lily.

**“There was nothing else for it.”**

“I don’t understand,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed

“Maybe if you didn’t interrupt we’d know by now,” she said, and Sirius grinned as James and Remus laughed.

“But then you’d miss my dulcet tones,” he said dramatically, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“Have you been reading?” she gasped, and Sirius snorted as James and Remus howled with laughter

“Honestly, where were you when Sirius needed his ego deflated?” Remus asked, and Lily grinned.

“Busy deflating Potters,” she said, and James gasped as Sirius and Remus laughed

“That is true,” said Sirius, “At least mine was manageable”

“Manageable my arse,” James said, still flushing.

“OI!” Sirius yelled, shoving James, who grinned cheekily

**“"Excuse me," Harry said to the plump woman.”**

Sirius sniggered.

“Plump?” James asked, and Sirius nodded euphorically, still sniggering madly

“Honestly, who jinxed him?” Lily asked turning to Remus, who chuckled

“We’ve been wondering the same thing for years,” he said, shaking his head, and Lily huffed

“Whoever it was, I hope they die a slow and painful death,” she said, and the boys sniggered

“I had no idea you were so evil Evans,” James said and Lily shrugged

“You should know,” Sirius chuckled, nudging James, who flushed as the other two laughed.

“That was uncalled for,” James mumbled, but only Lily heard, and she grinned at him.

“My little boy is so polite,” she said happily, and the boys sighed

“I was waiting for you to say that,” Sirius said smugly, and Remus sighed, tossing him a gold galleon.

“You were _betting_?” James asked, and Sirius grinned, “Why wasn’t I invited on this bet?”

“I don’t know,” Remus said, and Sirius sniggered.

“That way I’d have to share my winnings,” he said, and James huffed, crossing his arms.

**“"Hello, dear," she said.”**

“Oh she’s so nice!” Sirius squealed, and then winked at Lily, who rolled her eyes amusedly as James and Remus shook with laughter

“Why do you do this to me?” she asked, and Sirius shrugged

“You’re just so much more entertaining to irritate than these two are,” Sirius said, ruffling James’s hair.

“I’m honoured,” she said sarcastically, and the boys laughed.

**“"First time at Hogwarts? Ron's new, too." She pointed at the last and youngest of her sons. He was tall, thin, and gangling, with freckles, big hands and feet, and a long nose.”**

“He sounds adorable,” Lily smiled, and the boys looked at her, bewildered.

“Are _all_ women this way around children?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged

“What is it about children?” James asked, turning to Lily, who sighed.

“It’s not really children,” she said, “It’s more of a babies thing,” she added, and the boys chuckled

“Don’t even get me started on women and babies,” Sirius said, shaking his head.

“You know, there’s a legit reason behind it,” Lily said, and the boys threw her sardonic look

“ _Really_?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded

“Why don’t you explain to us why babies are so cute,” Remus smirked, and Lily sighed

“Babies small features and oversized eyes trigger a hormonal response in humans, it’s autonomic,” Lily said, and the boys eyebrows shot up, looking at her in awe, “It’s what keeps us from eating them,” she added, and the boys burst out laughing, causing Lily to grin.

“You just made my day,” Remus wheezed, wiping away his tears of laughter

“Thanks,” she grinned, and the other two shook their heads

“So if babies didn’t have big eyes and small features, we’d eat them?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged

“Theoretically.”

“I doubt it,” James said, “You didn’t factor in the love,” he said, and Lily sighed

“I said theoretically. I doubt people would actually eat them,” she said, and James grinned at her.

“I would _love_ to see someone eat a baby,” Sirius sniggered, and they all turned to him, bewildered, “YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACES!” he laughed, and the other three shook their heads fondly.

**“"Yes," said Harry. "The thing is - the thing is, I don't know how to -"”**

“Finish your sentence!” Remus hissed irritably, and the other three laughed.

“Does the stuttering and stammering bother you Remmy?” James coed, and Remus nodded stiffly

“Oh, I don’t know where to go from here,” Sirius said, “I didn’t expect him to nod!”

“Agreed,” James said, looking at Remus, as if it were insulting that he hadn’t shook his head, therefore killing all possibility of joking and teasing. Remus grinned.

**“"How to get onto the platform?" she said kindly, and Harry nodded.”**

“You know, she is actually really nice,” Sirius smiled, and Lily grinned, nodding.

“Good one Arthur,” James said, and Sirius sniggered.

“The Randy Weasels,” Sirius sniggered, and James rolled his eyes

“What?” Lily asked, and Sirius grinned

“They have _so_ many kids,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed deep maroon as the boys sniggered

“You disgust me,” she said bluntly, still blushing, and turning back to the book.

**“"Not to worry," she said. "All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on, go now before Ron."**

**"Er - okay," said Harry.”**

“Your son is so gullible,” Remus chuckled, and boh Lily and James stuck their tongues out at him.

“Well, it’s true,” sIrius said.

“And kind of stupid,” Remsu added, and Sirius snickered

“All you have to do is run straing into that brick wall over there and you’ll end up on Platform 9 and Three Quarters,” Sirius said, mimicking a woman’s voice.

“So, a random woman you’ve just met tells you to run into a brick wall to get to the other side,” Remus said, and Sirius sniggered

“Sounds legit.”

Lily and James burst out laughing, along with Sirius and Remus.

“You are terrible,” Lily said through her laughter, and the boys grinned

“Thank you doll,” Sirius said, and Lily sniffed

“Don’t call me doll,” she said irritably, and the boys snickered.

**“He pushed his trolley around and stared at the barrier.”**

“Sounds like a face off,” Sirius chuckled, and James laughed

“Harry Potter versus The Barrier,” he said dramatically, and Sirius guffawed.

“Who will win?” Sirius asked, and James sighed, clapping his hand over his heart

“It’s a heart gripping tale,” James said, and Sirius grinned.

“What would I do without you?” Sirius asked, throwing his arm around James’s shoulder

“Die?” James suggested, and Sirius barked a laugh

“How about, behave?” Lily suggested, and Sirius rolled his eyes as James and Remus snickered

“You realize that was a hit on _you_ mate, right?” Sirius asked James, who stopped laughing instantly, causing the others to laugh.

“She’s _hitting on_ me,” He said, and grinned at Sirius, “Get it?”

“Yes, I do,” Sirius chuckled, as Remus laughed and Lily shook her head fondly.

**“It looked very solid.”**

They all snorted

“Very good Harry, walls are solid,” Remus nodded, and Lily giggled.

**“He started to walk toward it. People jostled him on their way to platforms nine and ten. Harry walked more quickly. He was going to smash right into that barrier and then he'd be in trouble”**

“I thought he wasn’t supposed to think like that?” James said, and Lily shrugged

“It would be _so_ funny if he crashed,” Sirius sniggered, and Lily shot him a threatening look, “Er, I was kidding?” he squeaked, and Lily grinned as James and Remus laughed

“Well saved,” she said sarcastically, and Sirius laughed

“You know it love,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James whacked Sirius on the leg subtly.

**“- leaning forward on his cart, he broke into a heavy run - the barrier was coming nearer and nearer - he wouldn't be able to stop - the cart was out of control - he was a foot away - he closed his eyes ready for the crash”**

Sirius screamed, and Lily dropped the book in shock as James and Remus yelled out.

“WHAT?” Lily screeched, leaning down to get the book as Sirius fell over in hysterics

“It felt like a screaming moment,” he choked out, “Did you see your faces?” he wheezed, and the three of them huffed, their complexions darkening slightly.

“I hope you rot in hell,” Lily mumbled, and Sirius grinned

“But then you’d miss me!” he gasped, and Lily felt a traitorous giggle escape her, bringing a smug expression onto Sirius’s faces.

“Oh shush,” she muttered, as Remus and James hid their chuckles with well timed coughs.

**“- It didn't come”**

“Oh thank Merlin,” Sirius said dramatically, and the other three laughed, shaking their heads fondly.

“I bet you were frightened,” Remus said, and Sirius nodded, pouting.

“That’s mini Prongs right there,” he sniffed, and James grinned.

**“…he kept on running”**

“It would do you well to stop,” James said, and the boys sniggered.

“Leave him alone,” Lily said, and James grinned at her, but stopped all the same.

**“... he opened his eyes.”**

“And fell in love,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“That would be the worst love story _ever_ ,” she declared, and the boys laughed

“What would be a good love story?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged

“I’ll tell you when it happens,” she said, and the boys sniggered, nudging James, who flushed, running his hand through his hair.

**“A scarlet steam engine was waiting next to a platform packed with people. A sign overhead said Hogwarts Express, eleven O'clock. Harry looked behind him and saw a wrought-iron archway where the barrier had been, with the words Platform Nine and Three-Quarters on it.**

**He had done it.”**

Sirius whooped

Remus clapped

James cheered

Lily rolled her eyes, grinning.

“You lot are incredible,” she chuckled, and Sirius grinned at her

“Aw, thank you,” he said, and Lily laughed as James and Remus slapped their palms to their foreheads.

“I love the platform,” James smiled, “It’s so homey.”

“That’s nice James,” Sirius said, patting him on the knee, and Lily giggled as James shifted his leg from Sirius’s hand.

“Don’t _touch_ me there,” he mumbled, and Sirius grinned

“Sorry, forgot that was reserved for-“ James’s hand covered Sirius’s mouth quickly and Lily looked up at the ceiling, her ears turning red, as Remus sniggered madly.

**“Smoke from the engine drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd, while cats of every color wound here and there between their legs. Owls hooted to one another in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks.**

**The first few carriages were already packed with students, some hanging out of the window to talk to their families, some fighting over seats.**

**Harry pushed his cart off down the platform in search of an empty seat.”**

“Loser,” Sirius snorted, and Lily turned to him, grinning, “What?”

“I was _wondering_ when you’d interrupt,” she teased and both Remus and James laughed as Sirius winked

“I knew you’d miss my dulcet tones,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, giggling.

“He doesn’t have any friends,” she said in response to his first comment, “I bet he’ll have some soon.”

“Do you think he’ll be one of those people who has many friends but no close friends, or those who has a few close friends?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed

“I bet he’s the second,” she said, and James nodded

“Why?” Remus asked

“Because we’re like that,” James shrugged, and Lily nodded.

“Am I a close friend of yours?” Sirius asked, batting his eyelids at James, who snorted and shook his head, causing Remus and Lily to laugh as Sirius shoved his friend playfully.

““ **He passed a round-faced boy who was saying, "Gran, I've lost my toad again."”**

“Lost?” Sirius snorted

“More like murdered it in secrecy because having a toad is pathetic,” James said, and they all laughed

“Frank has a toad,” Lily said, and James snorted

“Exactly,” he winked, and Lily gasped, grinning, and threw a pillow at him

“You cant say that about Frank,” she said, and James quirked an eyebrow as Sirius and Remus sniggered

“Looks like you have competition,” Sirius winked, and James chuckled awkwardly as Lily rolled her eyes

“I wouldn’t get Frank even if I tried,” she said, and the boys snorted

“Lily-Flower, you can get anyone,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed as Remus nodded and James sighed, running his hand through his hair

“Er, thanks?” she said, flushing.

“You’re welcome,” Sirius said chirpily

“Just out of curiosity, why couldn’t you get Frank?” Remus asked, and Lily giggled

“Because he’s dating Alice,” she said, and the boys looked at her blankly, “Alice is my best friend?”

“Oh, right,” the boy’s said, coughing embarrassedly, and Lily giggled.

“No fair!” Sirius whined, “I thought _I_ was your best friend!” he whined, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Sorry,” she said, and Sirius pouted, as James and Remus grinned.

**“"Oh, Neville," he heard the old woman sigh.”**

“He has a toad _and_ his name is Neville?” Sirius gasped, “Those people really didn’t give that child a chance, did they?” he asked, and the others laughed.

“Alice always wanted to name her son Neville,” Lily snorted, and the boys coughed

“ _Why_?” James asked incredulously, and Lily shrugged

“It’s not a bad name, I suppose,” she said, and the boys rolled their eyes

“You’re saying that because you’re her best friend and you have loyalties” Sirius declared, ending all possibility of Lily defending her honour

**“A boy with dreadlocks was surrounded by a small crowd.  "Give us a look, Lee, go on." The boy lifted the lid of a box in his arms, and the people around him shrieked and yelled as something inside poked out a long, hairy leg.”**

“Wicked!” Sirius said, his eyes twinkling, “I want a tarantula!”

“No,” James said, shaking his head

“Absolutely not,” Remus agreed, glaring at Sirius.

“How does it matter what you lot think?” he asked, and James grinned

“We have to live with you,” he said, and Sirius pouted

“Lily-Flower, can I come live with you?” he asked, batting his eyelids, ignoring the narrowing of James’s eyes.

“No tarantula,” she said, and Sirius groaned as James and Remus snickered

“You’re all useless,” he whined, looking aghast as the other three shrugged, “ _Why_ aren’t you insulted?”

“Because we honestly do not care,” James said, and Sirius pouted as Lily and Remus grinned.

**“Harry pressed on through the crowd until he found an empty compartment near the end of the train.”**

“We usually take those ones!” James said excitedly, “To think, my son chose the same compartment,” he grinned, and the other three smiled at him.

“Look at you, getting all paternal,” Sirius cooed, pinching James’s cheek. James swatted his hand away as Lily and Remus laughed

“It’s cool okay?” James said defensively, his jaw jutting out.

“Only to you,” Remus teased, and James turned to Lily with pleading eyes, and she sighed.

“It is kind of cool,” she said, and both Sirius and Remus gaped as James looked at her in awe.

**“He put Hedwig inside first and then started to shove and heave his trunk toward the train door. He tried to lift it up the steps but could hardly raise one end and twice he dropped it painfully on his foot.”**

“Scrawny child never had a chance,” Sirius sniggered, and James flushed as Lily rolled her eyes and Remus laughed

“Can _you_ lift your trunk?” Lily pressed, and Sirius flushed, as James grinned and Remus continued to laugh.

“That’s different,” he muttered, and Lily winked, turning back to the book, “I’m removing you as an honorary Marauder,” he said, and Lily shrugged

“I have other friends,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus chuckled.

**“"Want a hand?"”**

“He has two,” Sirius said, and the other three snorted

“Was that just for the sake of interrupting?” Lily asked, and Sirius grinned and winked at her

“You know me well Ginger.”

“Do _not_ call me Ginger,” Lily hissed, and Sirius grinned widely as James and Remus chuckled fondly.

**“It was one of the red-haired twins he'd followed through the barrier.”**

Remus beamed, and they all shook their heads fondly, “Twins are fascinating, okay?” he said defensively, and they chuckled.

“Speaking of gingers,” Sirius said, and they laughed.

“Enough of the Gingers,” Lily said, shaking her head

“Sorry Red,” Sirius winked, and Lily sighed, hiding her face in her hands as James and Remus laughed

“I hate nicknames in reference to my hair,” she said, and Sirius winked

“Why do you think I’m using them?”

**“"Yes, please," Harry panted.”**

“Look at him, saying please, bless him,” Sirius sniffed, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James choked out laughter.

“You are a terrible, evil, maniacal, worthless wanker,” Lily said, and Sirius’s eyebrows flew up as James and Remus looked at Lily incredulously

“You amaze me,” Remus said, and Lily beamed.

“How do you manage to come up with long insults in such short periods of time?” James asked incredulously

“She’s had practice,” Sirius teased, nudging James, who flushed as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“"Oy, Fred! C'mere and help!" With the twins' help, Harry's trunk was at last tucked away in a corner of the compartment.”**

“That’s so nice of them,” Lily said, “And to think, they’re troublemakers.”

“I resent the implication that troublemakers are heartless,” James said, and Lily grinned

“I don’t care,” she said, and James gasped as Remus and Sirius howled with laughter.

**“"Thanks," said Harry, pushing his sweaty hair out of his eyes.”**

“Smart,” Lily snorted, and the boys looked at her.

“What?” James asked, confused.

“You know what’s on his forehead?” she asked, and Sirius gasped, obviously getting there faster than the other two

“They’ll see his scar!” he said, and the other two’s eyes widened

“And they’ll know he’s the famous Harry Potter,” James said, and Lily nodded, grinning.

“That should be interesting,” Remus grinned excitedly, and Lily took that as her cue to continue.

**“"What's that?" said one of the twins suddenly, pointing at Harry's lightning scar.”**

“A scar,” Sirius said, and the others snorted

“I’m pretty sure they know,” Remus said, and Sirius shrugged

“You never know”

“He has a point, you never know with these troublemakers,” Lily said, and all three boys turned to glare at her, and she winked, grinning to herself

**“"Blimey," said the other twin. "Are you?”**

**"He is," said the first twin. "Aren't you?" he added to Harry.”**

Sirius and James laughed as Remus grinned and Lily shook her head, smiling.

“I love these twins,” James chuckled, and Sirius beamed nodding.

“Thank Merlin he has some hilarious influence,” Sirius said, and James grinned, nodding.

“Can you imagine? A Hogwarts without pranks?” James asked, and Sirius paled at the thought

“That’s depressing. All that would be left would be…boring stuff,” he said, and shuddered, as did James

“My best mates,” Remus said, holding his arms out, and Lily laughed as James and Sirius grinned sheepishly

**“"What?" said Harry.**

**"Harry Potter, "chorused the twins.”**

“Can you imagine being so connected to someone?” Remus asked excitedly, “It’s just so fascinating how twins can be so connected!”

“Mate, you need to calm down,” Sirius said, and Remus flushed as Lily and James chuckled.

**“"Oh, him," said Harry. "I mean, yes, I am."”**

“‘Oh him’,” Sirius chuckled, grinning, “Your child his hilarious!”

“He didn’t do it on purpose,” James said, and Sirius grinned happily

“That’s my point!”

**“The two boys gawked at him, and Harry felt himself turning red.”**

“Which he got from Lily,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed as the boys laughed

“I’m a redhead!” she squeaked, “I blush easily!”

“That’s why they’re called _red_ heads,” Sirius snickered, and looked around for some laughter, only to receive blank expressions, “Come on that was funny!”

“No, it wasn’t,” Remus said, and Sirius pouted and turned to Lily

**“Then, to his relief, a voice came floating in through the train's open door.**

**"Fred! George! Are you there?"**

**"Coming, Mom."”**

“Little momma’s boys, aren’t they?” Sirius snickered, and James whacked him on the back of the head

“You do not make fun of a brother pranker,” he hissed, and Sirius paled

“My sincerest apologies O Lord of Pranking,” he said, joining his hands as if he were praying, and looking up at the sky. Lily snorted.

**“With a last look at Harry, the twins hopped off the train.**

**Harry sat down next to the window where, half hidden, he could watch the red-haired family on the platform and hear what they were saying.”**

“Sneaky,” James grinned, and Lily groaned, causing the boys to laugh

“Face it Lily-Flower, your son is a mischief maker,” Sirius winked, and Lily shook her head, biting her lip

“My life is over,” she said dramatically, and the boys snickered.

**“Their mother had just taken out her handkerchief.**

**"Ron, you've got something on your nose." The youngest boy tried to jerk out of the way, but she grabbed him and began rubbing the end of his nose.”**

The boys all looked disgusted

“How embarrassing,” James mumbled, and the boys nodded in agreement

“What? I think it’s adorable,” Lily smiled, and the boys snorted

“What if your mum did it to you?” Remus asked, and Lily flushed

“Never mind,” she mumbled, and the boys chuckled.

**“"Mom - geroff" He wriggled free.”**

“GO RON!” Sirius cheered, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered.

**"Aaah, has ickle Ronnie got somefink on his nosie?" said one of the twins.”**

They all laughed

“Oh they’re cruel,” Lily giggled, shaking her head

“Do you like them?” James teased, and Lily nodded, much to their surprise

“Someone has to be funny,” she said, and the boys gaped at her

“So you _like_ us?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged.

“We’ll see,” she said, winking at Sirius, who swore

“ _So_ close!” he whined, and the other three laughed

**“"Shut up," said Ron.”**

Sirius shook his head, “Kids these days.”

“The language, honestly,” James agreed, shaking his head, and Lily giggled as Remus looked up to the skies for help.

**"Where's Percy?" said their mother.**

**"He's coming now." The oldest boy came striding into sight.”**

“I don’t like him,” Sirius declared, and Lily snorted

“You don’t _know_ him,” she said, and he shrugged

“Lily, he’s _striding_ ,” he said, emphasizing the word as if that were the answer, “Only pompous twats stride,” he said, and James snorted

“So it wasn’t you who claimed to be striding when McGonagall yelled at you for running in the hallway?” he asked, and Sirius flushed as Lily and Remus laughed

“Aren’t you supposed to be on _my_ side?” Sirius asked, and James shrugged, grinning, “You’re a _terrible_ best mate,” Sirius mumbled, and James laughed.

“He, just like you, is trying to win Lily’s affection,” Remus said seriously, and Sirius gasped dramatically as James flushed and Lily laughed.

“Seems like I have competition,” Sirius said, rubbing his knuckles threateningly, and James rolled his eyes

“Bring it, Black.”

“It’s on, Potter.”

**“He had already changed into his billowing black Hogwarts robes, and Harry noticed a shiny silver badge on his chest with the letter P on it.””**

Sirius and James pulled identical faces of irritation.

“He’s a prefect,” James said bluntly.

“I _knew_ I didn’t like him,” Sirius said, and James snickered.

“Thanks,” Remus muttered, touching the badge on his chest.

“You know we love you Moony,” James said sweetly.

“Looks like you just lost all the affection you gained,” Remus sniggered, nodding towards Lily, who had her eyebrows raised at the two boys, who instantly paled.

“IT WAS A JOKE!” Sirius insisted, and Lily sighed, shaking her head.

“How _could_ you?” she choked, pretending to blink away tears, and Remus snickered as James and Sirius exchanged awkward glances, “I don’t know if I can ever love you now,” she said, and Sirius’s jaw dropped as James grinned.

“FAIR MAIDEN! SAY IT ISNT SO!”

“It is,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus roared with laughter.

““ **Can't stay long, Mother," he said. "I'm up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselves -"”**

“See, he’s a different breed of prefect,” Sirius said, gesturing to the book, “He’s the pompous show off prefect,” he said, and Remus rolled his eyes as Lily giggled.

“You two aren’t,” James added, looking at the two prefects, who grinned

“You two are really bad at schmoozing people,” Lily said, and James and Sirius gaped as Remus laughed

“We’re _excellent_ schmoozer’s!” James said indignantly, and Lily shook her head, grinning.

“That was way too obvious,” she said, “If your’e going to schmooze, you have to do it conspicuously,” she said

“Sorry Sensei,” Sirius muttered, and James burst out laughing as Lily narrowed her eyes at him, “I’m sorry! I love you!” Sirius squeaked, and Lily giggled as James and Remus sniggered.

**“"Oh, are you a prefect, Percy?" said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise.**

**"You should have said something, we had no idea."**

**"Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it," said the other twin. "Once -"**

**"Or twice -"**

**"A minute -"**

**"All summer -"”**

By now, all four of them were in hysterics.

“They remind me of you two,” Remus said, nodding towards James and Sirius, who grinned at one another.

“We’re amazing,” Sirius nodded, clapping James on the shoulder, and James put his arm around him.

“But they’re a lot more synchronized,” Lily said thoughtfully, and both Sirius and James shot her a dead look whilst Remus’s face lit up happily.

“It’s because they’re _twins_!” Remus said excitedly, “I wonder how that works!”

“How what works?” Lily asked

“Twins,” James answered, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much-“ Sirius was cut off by Remus, whilst Lily and James burst out laughing

“I know how they come about!” Remus hissed, flushing furiously, “I’m sure we all do.”

“Yep,” Sirius winked.

“I second that,” James grinned.

“Yes,” Lily laughed, and the boys turned to her.

“WHAT?” James hissed, and both Remus and Sirius paled as Lily bit her lip, looking anywhere but at James.

“I meant the way their brains are connected,” Remus squeaked, looking at James fearfully. He was steadily turning a violent shade of red.

“I find that interesting as well,” Lily said, looking at Remus, while James continued to pierce a hole in her with his eyes and Sirius watched his best mate warily.

“Isn’t it?” Remus asked, his eyes flickering to James, where Sirius was attempting to soothe him.

“It is. I wonder if it’s something that occurs when they’re in the womb,” Lily said thoughtfully, frowning slightly

“What do you mean?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged, grinning cheekily.

“I mean, if they’re both in their mom’s belly at the same time, does something happen to give them some sort of freaky connection?” she asked, and Sirius barked a laugh as Remus snorted with laughter and James took a few deep breaths.

“Doesn’t matter,” Sirius snorted, “Those two are hilarious,” he said, and Lily giggled.

“Those two are too funny,” Lily laughed, shaking her head.

“Are they funnier than us?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded, causing Remus and Sirius to choke.

“WHAT?” they yelled, and Lily grinned

“You should see your faces,” she giggled, and the boys’ faces split into grins.

“You’re diabolical,” Sirius gasped, and Lily grinned.

“That I am,” she sung, turning back to the book.

“Well spotted mate,” Sirius whispered, nudging the still stiff James, who was now a lighter shade of red, but smiled all the same.

“I know right?”

**“"Oh, shut up," said Percy the Prefect.”**

“Percy the Prefect,” Sirius sniggered, and Lily grinned

“Great alliteration,” she giggled, and Remus snorted

“I bet he got that from you two,” he said, nodding towards James and Lily.

“What?” James asked, a lot calmer now, but still flickering angry glances at Lily, who was trying very hard not to explode at him.

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten your alliteration war!” Sirius gasped, and Lily laughed.

“I won,” she said, and James snorted.

“Lies,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, seething at James, while Remus and Sirius laughed nervously.

**“"How come Percy gets new robes, anyway?" said one of the twins.**

**"Because he's a prefect," said their mother fondly.”**

“Yuck,” Sirius shuddered.

“What?” Remus asked, and Sirius sighed

“How he’s so _favored_ because of his prefect status,” he said, and shuddered, “It’s like how Regulus is favored because of his Slytherin-ness,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Not the same,” she said, dodging the topic of Sirius’s family, “They’re not rich,” she said, “it’s a reward. He’s not favored,” she said, and the boys frowned at her

“How do you know they’re not rich?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged

“You can kind of tell by that question,” she said, and the boys grimaced

“She has a point,” Sirius said, “Poor awesome twins,” eh sighed, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus snickered and James cracked a small smile, still furious. He was going to have a discussion with Lily after the chapter to discuss this, he had decided.

**“"All right, dear, well, have a good term - send me an owl when you get there." She kissed Percy on the cheek and he left. Then she turned to the twins.”**

“This should be good,” Sirius snickered, and Lily glared at him. She, too, was irritated with James, and had decided to have a talk with him after the chapter was over.

“You know, we’d know if it was going ot be good if you _shut up_ ,” she said, and Sirius blew her a kiss, causing her mouth to twitch. Sirius turned to Remus, and the two exchanged wary glances, sensing their friends’ attitudes.

**“"Now, you two - this year, you behave yourselves.”**

“Not likely,” Sirius said, and the other three smiled slightly, unable to laugh due to the tension in the room.

**“If I get one more owl telling me you've - you've blown up a toilet or -"**

**"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."**

**"Great idea though, thanks, Mom."”**

Sirius and Remus burst out laughing while Lily and James smiled slightly.

“We should blow up a toilet!” Sirius hissed, nudging James, who grinned, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“No, you should not,” Remus said sternly, and Lily snorted

“It’d be funny,” she said admittedly, and the boys all looked at her incredulously

“I didn’t know you had a sense of humour,” Sirius teased, and Lily smirked.

“Surprise!” she said, and the boys grinned.

**“"It's not funny. And look after Ron."**

**"Don't worry, ickle Ronniekins is safe with us."”**

“They’re not going to look after him,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“Thank you Captain Obvious,” she said, and James and Remus smiled.

“I bet they do look after him,” James said, his eyes still burning furiously, “They’re just not going to admit it.”

“Well, obviously,” Lily said irritably, throwing James an annoyed look, and James turned to her, his eyes narrowing. He opened his mouth but Sirius clapped a hand over his mouth before he could say anything.

**“"Shut up," said Ron again. He was almost as tall as the twins already and his nose was still pink where his mother had rubbed it.**

**"Hey, Mom, guess what? Guess who we just met on the train?"”**

“There it is,” Remus said cheerfully, trying to lighten up the atmosphere

“I was wandering when they’d bring that up,” Sirius sniggered, throwing his arm around James’s shoulder.

“It did take a long time,” Remus nodded

“Actually, not really, you lot just talk to much,” Lily teased, looking at Sirius, who pretended to look insulted, his eyes twinkling.

“Oh so she’s nice to you two,” James mumbled, and Sirius squeezed his shoulder painfully to get him to shut up, before Lily caught on to what he had said.

“Evans that’s rude,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled, but her eyes were still irritated as they flickered to James, who was pulling at the carpet furiously, impatient for the chapter to end.

**“Harry leaned back quickly so they couldn't see him looking.”**

“They wouldn’t see you anyway,” Sirius sniggered, and James rolled his eyes as Remus laughed and Lily snorted.

“He’s scrawny, not invisible,” Remus said, and Sirius winked

“Same thing, right mate?” he asked, nudging James, only to receive an irritated look, “Okay, so looks like it’s just you and me talking,” he said to Remus, causing both Lily and James to flush.

**“"You know that black-haired boy who was near us in the station? Know who he is?"**

**"Who?"**

**"Harry Potter!"**

**Harry heard the little girl's voice.”**

“His future wife,” Sirius said, and then his eyes widened as he realized what he had said, and looked warily at Lily and James, who were openly glaring at each other by now.

“I’m surprised they’ve held it in this long,” Remus whispered to Sirius, who nodded amusedly.

“That has to be some kind of record,” he whispered back, and Remus chuckled silently

“Especially for Lily,” he said, and Sirius covered up a laugh with a violent cough.

**“"Oh, Mom, can I go on the train and see him, Mom, please…"”**

“He’s not an animal in a zoo,” Remus muttered irritably, watching Lily and James, whose jaws were clenching beyond all possibilities.

“He could be,” Sirius said, “He’s a celebrity! They’re practically animals in a zoo.”

“Are you suggesting that celebrities are wild animals?” Remus asked, amused, and Sirius chuckled

“That is _not_ what I was suggesting, but we can say that,” eh winked, and Remus chuckled. Lily and James hadn’t moved

“So much sexual tension,” Sirius sighed, and Remus guffawed, causing the two to turn to look at him, anger still in their eyes.

“Can’t you two just be civil until the chapters over?” Remus asked, causing Sirius’s jaw to drop. Lily and James looked at each other, “No! Don’t even talk to each other, talk to us,” he said, “That way we don’t get irritated with you and you don’t have to talk to each other, okay?” he said, and the two nodded. Lily turned in her armchair so she had her back to James, and James crossed his arms, looking towards his friends, who sighed

“That’s as good as it’s going to get,” Sirius murmured to Remus, who shrugged

“Its better than nothing,” he replied, and Sirius nodded in agreement.

**“"You've already seen him, Ginny, and the poor boy isn't something you goggle at in a zoo. Is he really, Fred? How do you know?"”**

“See?” Remus squeaked, and Sirius laughed. James saw Lily’s shoulders shake with a giggle and smiled slightly.

“Well, at least their mummy is controlling them,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted

“Doubt that’s going to work,” he said, and Sirius grinned

“They’re troublemakers, what do you expect?” he retorted, and Remus snorted in agreement.

“So her name’s Ginny,” Lily said quietly, and Sirius and Remus beamed at her.

“Ginny Potter,” Sirius mused, grinning, “It has a ring to it.”

**““Asked him. Saw his scar. It's really there - like lightning."**

**"Poor dear - no wonder he was alone, I wondered. He was ever so polite when he asked how to get onto the platform."”**

Lily smiled smugly and the boys laughed, James included.

“Are you a proud mummy?” Sirius teased, and Lily nodded happily, her ponytail bobbing.

“I’ve never been so proud,” she said happily, and the boys laughed.

“Let’s get the baby book!” Remus said, and Lily laughed, causing James to grin.

**““Never mind that, do you think he remembers what You-Know-Who looks like?"”**

“No,” Lily said irritably, and Sirius laughed

“Who’s interrupting now?” he teased, and Lily grinned at him.

“Shut up,” she said, and Sirius shook his head playfully, “Fine I just _wont_ interrupt,” she said, and Sirius laughed

“Can you handle that?”

“I’ll try,” she said sarcastically, and Remus snickered.

**“Their mother suddenly became very stern.”**

**"I forbid you to ask him, Fred. No, don't you dare. As though he needs reminding of that on his first day at school."**

**"All right, keep your hair on."”**

They all laughed

“I am using that on McGonagall,” Sirius declared, and the other three rolled their eyes

“That’s one detention you are guaranteed,” James said, and Sirius laughed, clapping his friend on the shoulder

**“A whistle sounded.**

**"Hurry up!" their mother said, and the three boys clambered onto the train. They leaned out of the window for her to kiss them good-bye, and their younger sister began to cry.**

**"Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls."**

**"We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat."**

**"George!"**

**"Only joking, Mom."”**

They all laughed, grinning at the book

“I really hope I get to meet them,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed

“Apparently I don’t,” she said, and Sirius shrugged

“You will though,” he winked, and Lily smiled at him. “I want a Hogwarts toilet seat!”

“Go get one then,” Remus snorted, and Sirius grinned

“I will,” he said, “Right before I graduate.”

“We’ll see if you have the guts,” Remus chuckled, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at him.

“ **The train began to move. Harry saw the boys' mother waving and their sister, half laughing, half crying, running to keep up with the train until it gathered too much speed, then she fell back and waved.**

**Harry watched the girl and her mother disappear as the train rounded the corner. Houses flashed past the window. Harry felt a great leap of excitement. He didn't know what he was going to but it had to be better than what he was leaving behind.”**

“I promise you it is,” Sirisu said,s miling, nad Remus nodded, grinning.

“I was adored, and I agree,” Remus said, and Sirius laughed.

“Agreed,” he nodded, and then winked at Lily, who rolled her eyes

“Why are you winking at me?” she asked bluntly, and Sirius shrugged

“Because you’re female,” he said, “It’s reflex.” Remus sniggered as James threw Sirius a hard look and Lily giggled.

“Difference is, other girls swoon,” she said, and James laughed.

“My winks don’t make you swoon?” Sirius gasped, “That’s because I’m not turning it on,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Doubt it’d work,” she said, and Sirius raised his eyebrows. He attempted to get up but was pulled back down by James, and sighed

“Fine,” Sirius mumbled, and Lily grinned.

**“The door of the compartment slid open and the youngest redheaded boy came in.”**

“They’re going to be best mates,” Sirius declared

“Please tell me you didn’t _just_ realize that,” Remus said, aghast, and Sirius flushed

“Er, I did.”

“Pathetic,” Lily muttered, and Remus grinned at her as Sirius gasped

“Lily-Flower!”

“No,” she said bluntly, and Sirius’ jaw fell as James and Remus snickered.

**“"Anyone sitting there?" he asked, pointing at the seat opposite Harry.  "Everywhere else is full." Harry shook his head and the boy sat down. He glanced at Harry and then looked quickly out of the window, pretending he hadn't looked. Harry saw he still had a black mark on his nose.”**

“He’s scarily observing,” Sirius said, and Reus nodded, grinning

“Is he still poetic?” he teased, and Sirius snorted as James and Lily grinned

“No, that wasn’t poetic, that was just stating,” he said, and the other three rolled their eyes

**“"Hey, Ron." The twins were back.  "Listen, we're going down the middle of the train - Lee Jordan's got a giant tarantula down there."”**

“I WANT TO SEE!” Sirius whined, and Lily shot him an irritated look. Her anger had flared up once again as James had begun to tap his foot annoyingly.

“Well you don’t get to,” she said, and Sirius pouted magnificently.

**“"Right," mumbled Ron.**

**"Harry," said the other twin, "did we introduce ourselves? Fred and George Weasley. And this is Ron, our brother. See you later, then.”**

“That is the briefest introduction _ever_ ,” Remus chuckled, and Sirius laughed

“They’re scared to be in his presence,” Sirius sniggered, and James rolled his eyes

“Because he’d kill them with his superpowers,” James aid, and the boys laughed

“Of politeness and manners?” Sirius teased, looking at Lily, who giggled.

“Yep,” she said, nodding, and James felt his stomach churn. She had said that as easily as she had said the other thing.

**“"Bye," said Harry and Ron. The twins slid the compartment door shut behind them.**

**"Are you really Harry Potter?" Ron blurted out.”**

“Smooth,” Sirius snorted, and the others laughed

“Leave him alone, he’s nervous,” Lily said, smiling adoringly at the book

“It’s the celebrity thing,” Sirius said knowingly, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Well done,” he said sarcastically, and Sirius winked at him.

**“Harry nodded. "Oh -well, I thought it might be one of Fred and George's jokes," said Ron. "And have you really got - you know..." He pointed at Harry's forehead.”**

“A brain? Yes,” Sirius nodded.

“Shocking, considering who his father was,” Remus teased, and James rolled his eyes, a smile sneaking up on his face.

“Well, look at Lily,” Sirius said, “She makes up for Prong’s lack of brains.”

“Ah, you have a point there,” Remus said, as Lily flushed and James turned his irritated gaze on her.

“I have a brain,” James said irritably, and Sirius grinned at him.

“I know,” he cooed, pinching James’s cheek, causing James to slap his hand away.

**““Harry pulled back his bangs to show the lightning scar. Ron stared.”**

“That’s impolite,” Sirius mumbled, and Lily giggled

“She’s gotten to you,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head.

“Oh no!” Sirius gasped, “Lily! You _have_ to love me now!” he whined, and Lily laughed quietly.

“I still don’t,” she sighed

“What do I have to do?” Sirius whined, “I’m _groveling_ after you!”

“Let me think about it,” she said mysteriously, and Remus burst out laughing.

“My heart will wait for you!” Sirius said, and Lily winked at him.

**“"So that's where You-Know-Who”**

**"Yes," said Harry, "but I can't remember it."**

**"Nothing?" said Ron eagerly.**

**"Well - I remember a lot of green light, but nothing else."**

**"Wow," said Ron. He sat and stared at Harry for a few moments, then, as though he had suddenly realized what he was doing, he looked quickly out of the window again.”**

“He’s the epitome of smooth isn’t he?” Sirius snickered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He’s _eleven_ ,” she said, “give him a break.”

“No,” Sirius shot back childishly, and James saw Lily’s ponytail bob as she shook her head, amused.

“Oh, you win,” she said sarcastically, and Sirius punched the air triumphantly

“Have I gained your affection with my victory?” he asked eagerly, and Lily giggled, shaking her head

“My affection isn’t easy to gain,” she said, and James snorted, causing her to flush and Sirius and Remus to laugh.

**“"Are all your family wizards?" asked Harry, who found Ron just as interesting as Ron found him.**

**"Er - Yes, I think so," said Ron. "I think Mom's got a second cousin who's an accountant, but we never talk about him."**

**"So you must know loads of magic already?"”**

“Not really,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed

“Can you _please_ not interrupt with _worthless_ comments?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“If I stop, will you fall for me?” he asked, and Remus laughed as James shook his head fondly

“We’ll see,” Lily said, and Sirius clasped his chest

“Things I do for you, fair maiden.”

**“The Weasleys were clearly one of those old wizarding families the pale boy in Diagon Alley had talked about.”**

Sirius scrunched his nose, and opened his mouth to say something, but then looked at Lily, who was smirking at him, and closed his mouth, clapping his hand over it, causing James and Remus to laugh.

“You must _really_ want her affection,” Remus chuckled, and Sirius nodded, looking at Lily with puppy-dog eyes.

“You’re getting closer,” she winked, and Sirius’s eyes sparkled causing Lily to grin.

**“"I heard you went to live with Muggles," said Ron. "What are they like?"**

**"Horrible -well, not all of them. My aunt and uncle and cousin are, though. Wish I'd had three wizard brothers."**

**"Five," said Ron. For some reason, he was looking gloomy.”**

“OF course he is! He has so much to live up to!” Remus said, and Lily turned to him, and he laughed, “I took over for Sirius, he seems put out that nobody’s saying anything,” he said, and Sirius grinned at him.

“I _love_ you,” he mouthed, and Remus rolled his eyes as James grinned.

“I _knew_ it!” Lily squeaked, “I _knew_ you were too good-looking to be straight!” she said, and Sirius’s jaw dropped as James and Remus laughed

“I AM STRAIGHT!” Sirius bellowed, and Lily grinned

“Are you sure?” she asked, and he nodded furiously

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew what I’ve done,” he said proudly, and Lily grinned

“It could be your way of being in denial,” she said, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at her as Remus and James snickered. Sirius suddenly brightened, and smirked at her.

“You think I’m good looking?” he said, winking at her, and Lily flushed, looking away, “YOU DO!” he gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Yes,” she said, “But I don’t think you’re the best looking,” she said, and Sirius’s jaw dropped

“WHO?” he roared, and Lily grinned at him

“I can’t tell you,” she said, and James’s jaw clenched, his mind jumping back to the conversation on _experience_ , causing Remus to cough awkwardly.

**“"I'm the sixth in our family to go to Hogwarts. You could say I've got a lot to live up to. Bill and Charlie have already left - Bill was head boy and Charlie was captain of Quidditch. Now Percy's a prefect. Fred and George mess around a lot, but they still get really good marks and everyone thinks they're really funny. Everyone expects me to do as well as the others, but if I do, it's no big deal, because they did it first. You never get anything new, either, with five brothers. I've got Bill's old robes, Charlie's old wand, and Percy's old rat."”**

“That does actually sound really depressing,” Remus mumbled, and the other three nodded.

“I have never been happier to be an only child,” James mumbled, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Regulus is going to be amazing and squealed over no matter what, in our family,” he said bitterly, and Lily looked at him sympathetically

“I think you’re better looking than him,” she said, and Sirius burst out laughing as Remus grinned at her thankfully.

“Do you love me more than him?” Sirius asked, and Lily laughed

“I don’t _love_ you,” she winked, “But yes, better than him,” she said, and Sirius smiled at her.

**“Ron reached inside his jacket and pulled out a fat gray rat, which was asleep.”**

“Sounds like Pete,” Sirius said

“What?” Lily asked, and the other two boys smacked Sirius

“Can’t tell you,” Sirius choked out, and Lily’s eyes narrowed, a small frown appearing on her face. It was her thinking frown

“Lily _please_ ,” Remus asked, and Lily sighed, the frown disappearing

“I’ll let it go, but _just this once_ ,” she said, and the boys smiled at her gratefully, “things I do,” she said dramatically.

“Because you love us!” Sirius said, and Lily giggled

“No,” she said, and Sirius sighed

“You’re breaking my heart, love,” he said, and Lily winked.

“I try,” she said, and Remus burst out laughing as Sirius grinned.

**“"His name's Scabbers and he's useless, he hardly ever wakes up. Percy got an owl from my dad for being made a prefect, but they couldn't aff - I mean, I got Scabbers instead." Ron's ears went pink. He seemed to think he'd said too much, because he went back to staring out of the window.”**

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Lily said sadly.

“There really isn’t,” Remus said, shaking his head.

**“Harry didn't think there was anything wrong with not being able to afford an owl. After all, he'd never had any money in his life until a month ago, and he told Ron so, all about having to wear Dudley's old clothes and never getting proper birthday presents. This seemed to cheer Ron up.”**

“My son is a sweetheart,” she smiled, and the boys grinned

“he would be, being your child,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Flattery will not give you my affection,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

“LILY!”

“Yes?” she said cheekily, and Sirius’s mouth twitched with laughter.

**“"... and until Hagrid told me, I didn't know anything about being a wizard or about my parents or Voldemort" Ron gasped. "What?" said Harry.**

**"You said You-Know-Who's name!" said Ron, sounding both shocked and impressed. "I'd have thought you, of all people -"”**

“I don’t understand that,” Sirius said, “Wouldn’t he be more likely to say it?”

“I agree,” Remus said, frowning, “Why wouldn’t he? I mean, he took him down, so he’d definitely have the right to say it.”

“Exactly!” Sirius squeaked, “This redhead is confused,” he said, “Then again, all redheads are,” he said, winking at Lily, who shook her head fondly as Remus chuckled and James grinned half-heartedly.

**“"I'm not trying to be brave or anything, saying the name," said Harry, “I just never knew you shouldn't. See what I mean? I've got loads to learn... I bet," he added, voicing for the first time something that had been worrying him a lot lately, "I bet I'm the worst in the class."”**

“You wont be,” Lily said confidently

“Having those parents, I doubt it,” Remus snorted, and both Lily and James smiled at him, still not looking at each other.

“Thanks,” Lily grinned, and James smiled at his best friend

“You think I’m smart?” he said dramatically, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Don’t take it to your head,” he mumbled

“Don’t want it inflating,” Sirius added, winking at Lily, who flushed a magnificent shade of red and turned to face the wall, causing the boys to snicker.

**“"You won't be. There's loads of people who come from Muggle families and they learn quick enough."”**

“Exhibit A,” Sirius said, gesturing to Lily, who hid her face in her knees as Remus sniggered madly.

“Shut up,” she mumbled from her hiding place.

“You’re the best in our year Lily,” Remus chuckled, “I doubt you can tell him to shut up.”

“I’m not the best,” she said weakly, and the boys rolled their eyes

“Yes, you are,” Sirius said bluntly, “Which is why I love you,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“SIRIUS! Enough of the loving,” she laughed, and he winked at her

“I’ll stop when you say you love me too.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” she teased, and Sirius laughed.

“Actually, do,” Remus said, and Sirius gasped as the other two laughed.

**“While they had been talking, the train had carried them out of London.**

**Now they were speeding past fields full of cows and sheep. They were quiet for a time, watching the fields and lanes flick past.**

**Around half past twelve there was a great clattering outside in the corridor and a smiling, dimpled woman slid back their door and said, "Anything off the cart, dears?" Harry, who hadn't had any breakfast, leapt to his feet, but Ron's ears went pink again and he muttered that he'd brought sandwiches. Harry went out into the corridor.”**

“He’s going to look for muggle candy,” Lily said, and the boys turned to her.

“Did you?” Sirius teased, and Lily flushed, causing him to grin.

**“He had never had any money for candy with the Dursleys, and now that he had pockets rattling with gold and silver he was ready to buy as many Mars Bars as he could carry - but the woman didn't have Mars Bars.”**

“Told you,” Lily grinned.

“What’s a Mars Bar?” Remus asked, and Lily ran her hand through her hair.

“It’s caramel, or something, inside chocolate,” she said, and the boys’ eyes widened

“Do you have some?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded.

“Can we?” Remus asked longingly, and Lily grinned at him as Sirius barked a laugh.

“Moony, it’s just chocolate,” he said, and Remus stuck his tongue out at him.

“I think you should open up a chocolate gallery,” James teased, and Remus flushed as Sirius and Lily laughed

“Nevertheless, can we?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded.

“What?” she said, as the boys looked at her, “I’m not getting it _now_!” she squeaked, and Remus sighed

“Later then,” he said dejectedly, and Lily grinned at him as Sirius and James chuckled, shaking their heads fondly.

**“What she did have were Bettie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, Chocolate Frogs, Pumpkin Pasties, Cauldron Cakes, Licorice Wands, and a number of other strange things Harry had never seen in his life.”**

“Wait,” Sirius said, “I have to wipe the drool off my chin,” he said, and they burst out laughing

**“Not wanting to miss anything, he got some of everything and paid the woman eleven silver Sickles and seven bronze Knuts.**

**Ron stared as Harry brought it all back in to the compartment and tipped it onto an empty seat, "Hungry, are you?"**

**"Starving," said Harry, taking a large bite out of a pumpkin pasty.**

**Ron had taken out a lumpy package and unwrapped it. There were four sandwiches inside. He pulled one of them apart and said, "She always forgets I don't like corned beef."”**

“I _love_ corned beef!” Sirius gasped, “Idiot child!”

“Don’t call him an idiot!” Lily said indignantly, and Sirius shrugged

“Rude,” Remus muttered, and Lily laughed as Sirius stuck his crude finger up at Remus, who rolled his eyes in response.

**“"Swap you for one of these," said Harry, holding up a pasty. "Go on -"”**

“Good boy,” Lily grinned, and Sirius snorted

“Yes, he likes corned beef, good boy,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered

“Forget the corned beef,” she said

“They’re going to,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and James laughed

“I meant, good boy for sharing,” she said, and the boys sighed

“Sharing is caring,” Sirius sung, and Lily shook her head fondly.

**“"You don't want this, it's all dry," said Ron. "She hasn't got much time," he added quickly, "you know, with five of us."**

**"Go on, have a pasty," said Harry, who had never had anything to share before or, indeed, anyone to share it with. It was a nice feeling, sitting there with Ron, eating their way through all Harry's pasties, cakes, and candies (the sandwiches lay forgotten).”**

“Knew it,” Remus declared, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Are you turning into him?” she asked, nodding to Sirius, who grinned

“Then you’d have _two_ of me!” he said happily, and Lily groaned

“That would be a nightmare,” she said, and Sirius pouted

“At least I know you dream about me,” he winked, and Lily sighed

“Stop hitting on her,” Remus said, as James turned angrily to Sirius.

“I’m _not_!” Sirius hissed, “If I was, she’d be all over me right now.”

“Right,” Lily snorted, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at her as James and Remus grinned.

“You’ll see,” he said, and Lily giggled

“Doubt it,” she said, and Sirius sighed

“Alas, that is true.”

“My loss,” Lily said sarcastically, and Sirius laughed.

**“"What are these?" Harry asked Ron, holding up a pack of Chocolate Frogs. "They're not really frogs, are they?" He was starting to feel that nothing would surprise him.**

**"No," said Ron. "But see what the card is. I'm missing Agrippa."”**

“I have Agrippa,” Sirius said smugly, “You know, I have _all_ of them,” he said, and James snorted

“No you don’t,” he said, “You don’t have Merlin,” he said, and Sirius gasped

“But you do,” Sirius grinned, “And when you’re asleep I can take it.”

“No,” James said sternly, “I’m only missing one.”

“You two need lives,” Remus muttered, and Lily grinned at him.

**“"What?"**

**"Oh, of course, you wouldn't know - Chocolate Frogs have cards, inside them, you know, to collect - famous witches and wizards. I've got about five hundred, but I haven't got Agrippa or Ptolemy." Harry unwrapped his Chocolate Frog and picked up the card. It showed a man's face. He wore half- moon glasses, had a long, crooked nose, and flowing silver hair, beard, and mustache.”**

“Dumbledore,” Sirius said, bored, “I have about a hundred of him.”

“He’s the most popular card,” Lily said, and they looked at her incredulously, “What? It’s in the statistics!”

“You look that up?” Sirius asked, amused, and Lily snorted

“No, I heard people discussing it in the loo,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“Underneath the picture was the name Albus Dumbledore.”**

“Told you,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“Well done,” she said sarcastically

“However did you know?” Remus gasped, and Sirius took a mock bow.

**“"So this is Dumbledore!" said Harry.**

**"Don't tell me you'd never heard of Dumbledore!" said Ron. "Can I have a frog? I might get Agrippa – thanks” Harry turned over his card and read:**

**_ALBUS DUMBLEDORE CURRENTLY HEADMASTER OF HOGWARTS Considered by many the greatest wizard of modern times, Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood, and his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel. Professor Dumbledore enjoys chamber music and tenpin bowling._ ** **”**

“What’s tenpin bowling?” Remus asked, and Lily sighed

“You _really_ need childhoods,” she said, shaking her head, and the boys threw her evil looks, “You basically roll a ball at a few bowling pins, which look like Butterbeer bottles, and try to knock them over,” she said, and the boys grinned

“That sounds _fun_ ,” Sirius said happily, and Lily nodded

“It’s bloody difficult though,” she said, “because the pins are _really_ far away,” she said, and the boys huffed

“I hate it when they make games really difficult,” Sirius mumbled, and Lily grinned

“Because you always lose?” she asked innocently, and Sirius grinned

“You wish.”

**“Harry turned the card back over and saw, to his astonishment, that Dumbledore's face had disappeared.**

**"He's gone!"**

**"Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day," said Ron. "He'll be back. No, I've got Morgana again and I've got about six of her... do you want it? You can start collecting."”**

“Such a nice boy,” Remus smiled.

“Well, he doesn’t need the card, what else is he going to do?” Sirius asked

“Not the point,” Remus muttered, rolling his eyes at Lily, who giggled.

**“Ron's eyes strayed to the pile of Chocolate Frogs waiting to be unwrapped.**

**"Help yourself," said Harry. "But in, you know, the Muggle world, people just stay put in photos."**

**"Do they? What, they don't move at all?" Ron sounded amazed. "weird!" Harry stared as Dumbledore sidled back into the picture on his card and gave him a small smile. Ron was more interested in eating the frogs than looking at the Famous Witches and Wizards cards, but Harry couldn't keep his eyes off them. Soon he had not only Dumbledore and Morgana, but Hengist of Woodcroft, Alberic Grunnion, Circe, Paracelsus, and Merlin.”**

“NO!” Sirius yelled, causing the others to laugh

“DAMN IT!” James yelled angrily, “I need Circe!”

“Can we trade?” Sirius asked, and James threw him a skeptical look.

“We’d both _still_ be one short,” he said, and Sirius sighed

“Right,” he muttered, snapping his fingers and Lily snorted, “You don’t understand the magic of Chocolate Frog card collecting,” he accused, and Remus grinned, “What?”

“She has all of them,” Remus said, and both Sirius and James gaped as Lily grinned

“You have _all_ the cards?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded, examining her nails casually, “that’s not fair!”

“I have extras as well,” she said, and both James and Sirius’s eyes widened

“Do you have an extra Merlin?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded, grinning.

“A Circe?” James breathed, and Lily nodded.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US BEFORE?” Sirius asked, and Lily laughed.

“Didn’t think it mattered,” she said cheekily, and the boys huffed.

“Can you please donate to us?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged

“We’ll see,” she said, and the boys huffed, crossing their arms.

“You can’t do this two days before Christmas!” Sirius whined, “Where’s your spirit?”

“I’m the Grinch,” she winked, and the two boys snorted as Remus laughed.

**““He finally tore his eyes away from the druidess Cliodna, who was scratching her nose, to open a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.”**

“Be careful,” Sirius warned.

“Wasn’t it you who got a booger flavored one?” Remus teased, and Sirius shuddered.

“Disgusting,” he muttered, as Lily laughed.

**“"You want to be careful with those," Ron warned Harry. "When they say every flavor, they mean every flavor - you know, you get all the ordinary ones like chocolate and peppermint and marmalade, but then you can get spinach and liver and tripe. George reckons he had a booger flavored one once."”**

“He probably did,” Sirius shuddered, and Lily giggled, “Not _funny_ Evans!”

“Oh, but it is,” she winked, and Sirius’s mouth twitched.

“I hate you,” he said, and Lily sighed

“Too bad, I was just starting to love you,” she said, and Sirius’s expression fell as Remus and James laughed

“I take it back!”

“You cant, you hurt me,” she sniffed, and Sirius groaned

“Damn it!”

**“Ron picked up a green bean, looked at it carefully, and bit into a corner. "Bleaaargh – see? Sprouts." They had a good time eating the Every Flavor Beans. Harry got toast, coconut, baked bean, strawberry, curry, grass, coffee, sardine, and was even brave enough to nibble the end off a funny gray one Ron wouldn't touch, which turned out to be pepper.”**

“IDIOT!” Remus hissed, “You _never_ eat the gray one!”

“He wouldn’t know,” Sirius said, shaking his head at the idiocy, “Well, he knows now.”

**“The countryside now flying past the window was becoming wilder. The neat fields had gone. Now there were woods, twisting rivers, and dark green hills.”**

“Totally symbolic,” Remus said, and Lily grinned

“To the new adventure that awaits?” she asked, and Remus grinned, nodding happily.

“You two are too nerdy,” Sirius muttered, “And I’m alone.”

“Thanks,” James muttered, and Sirius sniffed

“You’re not _speaking,_ so I’m alone,” he said, and James ran his hand through his hair, looking at Lily.

**“There was a knock on the door of their compartment and the round-faced boy Harry had passed on platform nine and threequarters came in. He looked tearful.”**

“Baby,” Sirius sneered, and Lily glared at him, causing him to quiet down.

**“"Sorry," he said, "but have you seen a toad at all?"”**

“Why are you looking for it?” Sirius asked, aghast, “You lost it! That’s _good_!”

“He liked his toad, okay?” Remus said, and Sirius snorted

“You don’t like toads! They’re useless!”

“Let’s just move on, yeah?” Lily suggested, and both Remus and Sirius huffed, crossing their arms, but shutting up all the same.

**“When they shook their heads, he wailed, "I've lost him! He keeps getting away from me!"**

**"He'll turn up," said Harry.”**

“He’s actually a really nice boy,” Remus grinned, and Lily beamed happily.

**“"Yes," said the boy miserably. "Well, if you see him..." He left.**

**"Don't know why he's so bothered," said Ron. "If I'd brought a toad I'd lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought Scabbers, so I can't talk."”**

The four of them laughed, “See?” Sirius said, “Ron understands!”

“He has a point,” Remus snickered.

“I’d love to have a Scabbers,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You mean a rat?”

“No, a Scabbers,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly.

**“The rat was still snoozing on Ron's lap. "He might have died and you wouldn't know the difference," said Ron in disgust. "I tried to turn him yellow yesterday to make him more interesting, but the spell didn't work. I'll show you, look..." He rummaged around in his trunk and pulled out a very battered-looking wand. It was chipped in places and something white was glinting at the end.”**

“He needs a new wand,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“He can’t afford one,” she said, and Sirius sighed

“I’d buy him one,” he mumbled, and Lily nodded sympathetically

“Lily, I think your niceness is rubbing off on him,” Remus snickered, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him as Lily grinned

“Nice to know I’m doing some good in the world,” she said dramatically, and James grinned as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“You give birth to a hero, I’m sure that’s good,” Remus said, and Lily shuddered.

“What?” Sirius asked

“Birth,” Lily said, and shuddered again, causing the boys to laugh, “It’s _frightening_ okay?” she said defensively, and the boys smiled at her.

“Lily-Flower, you’re adorable,” Sirius declared, and Lily rolled her eyes.

**"Unicorn hair's nearly poking out. Anyway” He had just raised his wand when the compartment door slid open again.”**

“Bloody hell!” Sirius said irritably, “Leave them alone!”

“Not likely,” Remus muttered, “He’s a celebrity remember?” he said, and Sirius sighed

“Agreed, our lives are hard.”

“You’re not a celebrity,” James snorted, and Sirius gasped as Remus laughed and Lily pretended James hadn’t spoken.

“I might as well be,” he said, “I have a fan club,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes at the pathetic nature of her gender while James snorted

“So do I,” he said, and Sirius grinned

“Exactly, we’re celebrities!”

“Whatever,” James chuckled, and Lily huffed, causing his jaw to clench irritably.

**“The toadless boy was back, but this time he had a girl with him.”**

“Go Neville,” Sirius said suggestively, and Lily laughed

“Doesn’t mean they’re together,” she said, twirling the end of her ponytail.

“Why would you say that?” Sirius whined, “You’re ruining my fun!”

“I’m a prefect,” she retorted, and the boys laughed

“Well played,” Sirius said, and Lily grinned.

**“She was already wearing her new Hogwarts robes.”**

“Oh no!” Remus gasped

“What?” Lily asked

“She’s going to be the know-it-all,” he said, grinning at Lily, who flushed

“Shush,” she said, as the boys grinned.

“I have a feeling I’m not going to like her much,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I bet she’s important,” she said, and Sirius sighed

“Amateur,” he mumbled, and Lily giggled

“You’ll see,” she said, and Sirius chuckled

“Bring it Evans.”

“It’s on Black,” she retorted, and Sirius grinned happily as Remus and James chuckled.

**“"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one," she said. She had a bossy sort of voice, lots of bushy brown hair, and rather large front teeth.”**

“She sounds like a beaver,” Remus muttered, and they all laughed

“That’s mean,” Lily laughed, shaking her head.

“But you thought it was funny,” Sirius winked, and Lily flushed

“That’s besides the point,” she said, and the boys grinned.

**“"We've already told him we haven't seen it," said Ron, but the girl wasn't listening, she was looking at the wand in his hand.”**

“Sounds naughty,” Sirius winked, and Lily chose to ignore him, “Come on Evans! It’s no fun when you’re not irritated by it!”

“I figured,” she grinned, “That’s why I ignored it.”

“Bloody hell,” Sirius mumbled, “My life is over.”

**“"Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see it, then." She sat down. Ron looked taken aback.”**

“I would be too mate,” Sirius sighed, shaking his head.

“I bet they get married,” Lily squealed, and the boys looked at her in alarm.

“They’re _eleven_ ,” Remus said, and Lily shrugged

“I still think they’ll get married,” she said, and the boys sighed

“There’s no point arguing with a girl when marriage is concerned,” Sirius muttered.

**“"Er - all right." He cleared his throat. "Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."”**

“Best. Spell. Ever,” Sirius laughed, and Remus snickered, nodding.

“Stupid fat rat,” James chuckled, “That should be in all spells.”

“Agreed!” Sirius said happily, throwing his arm around James.

**“He waved his wand, but nothing happened. Scabbers stayed gray and fast asleep.**

**"Are you sure that's a real spell?" said the girl. "Well, it's not very good, is it? I've tried a few simple spells just for practice and it's all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was ever so pleased, of course, I mean, it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I've heard - I've learned all our course books by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough - I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you?”**

“Oh Merlin,” Sirius said, blinking fast.

“I never memorized the course books,” Lily said, looking at the book in awe.

“Come on Lily!” Sirius said sarcastically

“What kind of know-it-all are you?” Remus asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed.

“I really don’t like her,” Sirius said, shuddering, “She’s irritating.”

“She’s going to be ruining all their fun,” Remus said.

“They’ll be friends,” Lily said, rolling her eyes

“You don’t know that,” James said, and Lily ignored him.

“They’ll be a trio,” she said, and Sirius wagged his eyebrows suggestively, “Go die,” she suggested, flushing, as Remus and James sniggered.

“But you’d miss me!”

“Doubtful,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

**“She said all this very fast.**

**Harry looked at Ron, and was relieved to see by his stunned face that he hadn't learned all the course books by heart either.”**

“No normal person does,” Remus said, and the other two boys nodded.

“That’d be so useful though,” Lily said thoughtfully

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking about memorizing our NEWT books,” Sirius said, bewildered, and Lily shrugged

“It’d be smart.”

“No, it’d be stupid,” Remus said, and she sighed

“I have nothing to do during the summer anyway,” she shrugged.

“If you memorize the books, we can’t be friends,” Sirius declared

“Bring on the books,” Lily said cheekily, and Sirius grinned at her as Remus and James laughed.

**"I'm Ron Weasley," Ron muttered.**

**"Harry Potter," said Harry.”**

“I bet she knows _all_ about him,” Remus snorted, and Sirius nodded, shaking his head amusedly.

**“"Are you really?" said Hermione. "I know all about you, of course - I got a few extra books for background reading, and you're in Modern Magical History and The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century.””**

“She scares me,” Sirius said

“Bet you want her in your fan club,” Lily teased, and Sirius snorted as James and Remus chuckled.

“Oh, definitely,” he said, rolling his eyes, and Lily grinned.

**“"Am I?" said Harry, feeling dazed.**

**"Goodness, didn't you know, I'd have found out everything I could if it was me," said Hermione. "Do either of you know what house you'll be in? I've been asking around, and I hope I'm in Gryffindor, it sounds by far the best; I hear Dumbledore himself was in it, but I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad... Anyway, we'd better go and look for Neville's toad. You two had better change, you know, I expect we'll be there soon."”**

“Stop _talking_!” Sirius whined, holding his ears

“That’s how I feel when you talk,” Lily muttered, flattening a crease in the book, as Sirius gasped and Remus and James burst out laughing.

“Lily!” Sirius gasped, “Say it isn’t so!”

“It is,” she said, bored.

“Can we keep reading?” Sirius asked, sadly.

**“And she left, taking the toadless boy with her.”**

“Good riddance,” Sirius mumbled

“You _really_ don’t like her, do you?” James chuckled, and Sirius shook his head, shuddering.

“Can you imagine being in her hear?” he asked, “I’d hate it.”

“You’re really mean,” Lily said, and Sirius winked

“I’ll be nicer if you give me your affection.”

“Be mean, then,” Lily said, and Remus burst out laughing.

**“"Whatever house I'm in, I hope she's not in it," said Ron.”**

“That’s a lad,” Sirius said, as Remus and James laughed and Lily shook her head disapprovingly, a smile pulling up the corners of her mouth.

**“He threw his wand back into his trunk. "Stupid spell - George gave it to me, bet he knew it was a dud."”**

“He probably did,” Lily giggled, “Sounds like something they’d do.”

“It does,” Remus laughed.

“We should give First Years fake spells,” Sirius sniggered, nudging James, who chuckled.

“That would be funny,” he said, and the prefects rolled their eyes.

**“"What house are your brothers in?" asked Harry.**

**"Gryffindor," said Ron. Gloom seemed to be settling on him again. "Mom and Dad were in it, too. I don't know what they'll say if I'm not. I don't suppose Ravenclaw would be too bad, but imagine if they put me in Slytherin."”**

“He’s a good boy,” Sirius said, “I approve of Harry’s friend choice.”

“Me too,” Remus chuckled

“Same,” James mumbled

“Yes,” Lily nodded, and James’s face turned red again, causing Sirius to sigh.

**“"That's the house Vol-, I mean, You-Know-Who was in?"”**

“No! Call him Voldemort!” James hissed, and the other three nodded.

“He thinks it’s the right thing to do,” Remus said, “Don’t worry, Dumbledore will set him straight.”

**“"Yeah," said Ron. He flopped back into his seat, looking depressed.**

**"You know, I think the ends of Scabbers' whiskers are a bit lighter," said Harry, trying to take Ron's mind off houses.”**

“Liar,” Sirius smirked.

“That’s not the point,” Lily said, shaking her head, and Sirius shrugged

“It was a still a lie.”

“But it was a good lie,” she said, and Sirius snorted

“But there’s no such thing as a _good_ lie,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Of course there is!”

“This argument is getting nowhere,” Remus said, “Can we read?”

**“"So what do your oldest brothers do now that they've left, anyway?" Harry was wondering what a wizard did once he'd finished school.”**

“You haven’t even started!” Remus laughed.

“At least he’s ambitious,” Lily said.

“Do you know what you want to do?” Sirius teased, and Lily nodded, “Ah, then I cant tease you,” Sirius muttered, and Lily giggled.

**“Charlie's in Romania studying dragons, and Bill's in Africa doing something for Gringotts," said Ron. "Did you hear about Gringotts? It's been all over the Daily Prophet, but I don't suppose you get that with the Muggles - someone tried to rob a high security vault."”**

“No!” Sirius gasped, sitting up straighter, “What happened?”

“Yes, Ron is going to answer you,” Remus said sarcastically, sitting up straighter.

“You never know,” Sirius hissed, and Remus laughed.

**“Harry stared.**

**"Really? What happened to them?"**

**"Nothing, that's why it's such big news.”**

“Merlin,” Sirius gasped, “That’s bloody serious!”

“I know!” Remus said, blinking quickly.

“Continue!” Sirius hissed, and Lily nodded, scanning the page for where she’d left off.

**“They haven't been caught. My dad says it must've been a powerful Dark wizard to get round Gringotts, but they don't think they took anything, that's what's odd. 'Course, everyone gets scared when something like this happens in case You-Know-Who's behind it."”**

“He is,” Remus muttered, and Sirius’s eyes widened

“But he’s gone!”

“No, Remus is right,” Lily said sadly

“Why?” James whined

“Because, the story wouldn’t be anything without the Harry Voldemort conflict,” Remus said, and Sirius huffed.

“Bloody hell,” he grumbled.

**“Harry turned this news over in his mind. He was starting to get a prickle of fear every time You- Know-Who was mentioned. He supposed this was all part of entering the magical world, but it had been a lot more comfortable saying "Voldemort" without worrying.”**

“Fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself,” Lily said.

“That’s proof right there,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded stiffly.

**“"What's your Quidditch team?" Ron asked.”**

“That came out of nowhere,” James said, blinking rapidly.

“He doesn’t know any!” Sirius said, after laughing at James’s comment.

“We _know_ ,” Remus muttered, playing with the tablecloth.

**“"Er - I don't know any," Harry confessed.”**

“James has died,” Sirius announced, after looking at James’s expression, and Remus laughed as Lily ignored all references to James.

**“"What!" Ron looked dumbfounded. "Oh, you wait, it's the best game in the world -" And he was off, explaining all about the four balls and the positions of the seven players, describing famous games he'd been to with his brothers and the broomstick he'd like to get if he had the money.”**

“Thank you,” James breathed.

“At least _someone_ does this,” Sirius laughed.

**“He was just taking Harry through the finer points of the game when the compartment door slid open yet again, but it wasn't Neville the toadless boy, or Hermione Granger this time.”**

“Malfoy,” Sirius growled.

**“Three boys entered, and Harry recognized the middle one at once: it was the pale boy from Madam Malkin's robe shop. He was looking at Harry with a lot more interest than he'd shown back in Diagon Alley.”**

“Of course he is,” Sirius said bitterly, “He knows you’re Harry Potter now.”

“Stupid Slytherin,” James mumbled, and Remus snorted.

“I hope he doesn’t try befriending him,” Remus muttered, and Lily snorted

“Harry won’t befriend him anyway,” she said, and Sirius nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

**“"Is it true?" he said. "They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment. So it's you, is it?"**

**"Yes," said Harry. He was looking at the other boys. Both of them were thickset and looked extremely mean. Standing on either side of the pale boy, they looked like bodyguards.”**

“It’s because he’s Malfoy,” Sirius hissed

“Lucius Malfoy had them remember?” Remus snickered, “Didn’t go anywhere without someone to protect him.”

“Pathetic,” James muttered.

“I hope they don’t get in a fight,” Lily said worriedly, “Harry cant take those boys!”

“He can’t,” Sirius said, paling.

**“"Oh, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle," said the pale boy carelessly, noticing where Harry was looking. "And my name's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy."”**

They all snorted

“ _Draco_?” Sirius snorted, “Who names their child _Draco_? What the hell is _Draco?_ ” he asked, and the others laughed.

“Sounds like mandrake,” Remus sniggered.

“Oh right, because he screams so much,” Sirius nodded, and the others laughed.

**“Ron gave a slight cough, which might have been hiding a snigger. Draco Malfoy looked at him.”**

“Good kid,” Sirius said, grinning fondly.

**“"Think my name's funny, do you?”**

“Yes,” Lily said, and Sirius guffawed

“Did you just interrupt to make a stupid comment?” he teased, and Lily shook her head

“You imagined it.”

“Of course,” Sirius laughed, as Remus and James chuckled.

**“No need to ask you who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford."”**

“Oi!” Remus said angrily, “He’s ten times the wizard you’ll ever be.”

“Agreed,” Sirius said angrily, glaring at the book. He had come to really like Ron.

**“He turned back to Harry. "You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there." He held out his hand to shake Harry's,”**

“DON’T DO IT!” Sirius yelled.

“Don’t! Don’t take his hand Harry!” James squeaked

“He’s not going to,” Lily said, rolling her eyes, “He and Ron are friends,” she said.

“She’s right,” Remus snorted.

**“but Harry didn't take it.”**

“YES!” Sirius cheered, tackling James into the floor.

“Knew it,” Lily muttered, and Remus grinned at her.

**“"I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks," he said coolly.”**

“Oho!” Remus laughed, clapping his hands

“He had the guts to take on a Malfoy on his first train ride?” James said, proud.

“He’s going to get squashed,” Lily whined, and the boys grimaced.

**“Draco Malfoy didn't go red, but a pink tinge appeared in his pale cheeks.”**

“It’s because he’s cold blooded,” Sirius said knowingly, and the others sniggered immaturely.

**“"I'd be careful if I were you, Potter," he said slowly. "Unless you're a bit politer you'll go the same way as your parents. They didn't know what was good for them, either. You hang around with riffraff like the Weasleys and that Hagrid, and it'll rub off on you."”**

“Too far,” Sirius growled.

“I hate him,” Remus said angrily.

“I do too,” Sirius hissed.

**“Both Harry and Ron stood up.”**

“No!” Lily groaned, and the boys shrugged

“Let him fight,” Sirius said angrily, “Beat that bastard.”

“Sirius!” Lily hissed, and Sirius tinged slightly pink, ashamed.

**“"Say that again," Ron said, his face as red as his hair.**

**"Oh, you're going to fight us, are you?" Malfoy sneered.**

**"Unless you get out now," said Harry, more bravely than he felt, because Crabbe and Goyle were a lot bigger than him or Ron.”**

“Exactly,” Lily smirked, and the boys chuckled slightly, still sitting straight up, paying close attention.

“He’s really brave,” Remus mused appreciatively.

“Well done,” Sirius said, clapping James on the shoulder, and James snorted.

**“"But we don't feel like leaving, do we, boys? We've eaten all our food and you still seem to have some." Goyle reached toward the Chocolate Frogs next to Ron - Ron leapt forward, but before he'd so much as touched Goyle, Goyle let out a horrible yell.”**

“What happened?” Sirius asked, looking around stupidly, and Lily snorted

“Let me read, will you?” she teased, and Sirius laughed.

**“Scabbers the rat was hanging off his finger, sharp little teeth sunk deep into Goyle's knuckle”**

“YEAH SCABBERS!” Sirius cheered, throwing his fist into the air as James, Remus and Lily laughed

“Good rat,” Lily grinned, and Sirius snorted

“I thought you _hated_ rats,” he teased, and Lily shrugged

“I do,” she said bluntly, and the boys laughed.

**“- Crabbe and Malfoy backed away as Goyle swung Scabbers round and round, howling, and when Scabbers finally flew off and hit the window, all three of them disappeared at once.”**

“No! Scabbers!” Sirius squawked, falling down and holding onto James.

“He’s fine,” James smiled, and Sirius sighed.

“I hope so,” he said childishly, and James shook his head fondly, patting Sirius comfortingly on the back.

**“Perhaps they thought there were more rats lurking among the sweets, or perhaps they'd heard footsteps, because a second later, Hermione Granger had come in.”**

“And here I thought things couldn’t get worse,” Sirius muttered, and James grinned as Lily rolled her eyes, shaking her head irritably

“You’ll end up liking her,” Lily said, and Sirius snorted

“Not likely.”

“Watch,” she said simply, “She’s smart. They’re going to need her.”

“Why?” Sirius countered.

“For their adventures,” Lily said simply.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius snorted, and Lily grinned

“I’ll show you,” she said.

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” Sirius said to James, whose jaw clenched as he looked at Lily, obviously still angry.

**“"What has been going on?" she said, looking at the sweets all over the floor and Ron picking up Scabbers by his tail.”**

“Go away,” Sirius whined, and Lily threw him a scathing look, shutting him up.

**“I think he's been knocked out," Ron said to Harry. He looked closer at Scabbers. "No - I don't believe it - he's gone back to sleep-" And so he had.”**

They all laughed, “That’s a fantastic rat right there,” Remus said sarcastically, grinning.

“How could it go back to sleep?” Sirius wheezed.

“It’s a rat, who cares?” Lily muttered, and Sirius chuckled

**“"You've met Malfoy before?" Harry explained about their meeting in Diagon Alley. "I've heard of his family," said Ron darkly. "They were some of the first to come back to our side after You-Know-Who disappeared. Said they'd been bewitched. My dad doesn't believe it. He says Malfoy's father didn't need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side."”**

“Your dad has always been smart,” James said, nodding.

“Honestly, ‘bewitched’?” Sirius snorted, “and the Ministry _bought_ it?” he asked, “Have they _seen_ our family tree?”

“They Ministry was probably paid,” James muttered, and Sirius snorted

“Money really is a stupid thing,” he said, and James nodded sympathetically.

**“He turned to Hermione. "Can we help you with something?"”**

“Don’t be so rude!” Lily chastised

“Sorry mummy,” Sirius squeaked, and Lily rolled her eyes, the corners of her mouth twitching.

**“"You'd better hurry up and put your robes on, I've just been up to the front to ask the conductor, and he says we're nearly there. You haven't been fighting, have you? You'll be in trouble before we even get there!"**

**"Scabbers has been fighting, not us," said Ron, scowling at her.”**

“Good answer mate,” Sirius laughed

“He’s right,” Remus shrugged, grinning.

“Maybe they should expel the rat,” James snickered, and Sirius laughed.

**“"Would you mind leaving while we change?"**

**"All right - I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors," said Hermione in a sniffy voice.”**

“Oh, sorry your majesty,” Sirius muttered irritably, “Honestly! She’s such a stuck up cow!”

“She’s _eleven_!” Lily hissed, “Leave. Her. Alone.”

“Why are you standing up for her so much?” Sirius asked

“Because! She’s like me!” she squeaked, and the boys froze, “She’s muggleborn! She knows _nothing_ about what’s going on so she read up on it so she wouldn’t seem like such a dolt! She’s talking to people so she can make friends because she _doesn’t_ fit in! She’s _trying_ to come across as important so people will like her!” she yelled, and the boys’ jaws dropped, “Leave. Her. Alone,” Lily finished with a growl, flipping her hair irritably

“Lil-“

“Just shut up,” she said angrily, and Remus bit his lip, looking at James and Sirius, who were looking at Lily sadly. Nobody had ever thought about what it was like for her to come to school, or any muggleborn, at that.

**“"And you've got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?"”**

“That’s just uncalled for, though,” Sirius said, and Lily cracked a small smile, much to his satisfaction.

“He did have dirt on his nose,” Lily said, and Sirius laughed

**“Ron glared at her as she left. Harry peered out of the window. It was getting dark. He could see mountains and forests under a deep purple sky. The train did seem to be slowing down.**

**He and Ron took off their jackets and pulled on their long black robes. Ron's were a bit short for him; you could see his sneakers underneath them. A voice echoed through the train:**

**"We will be reaching Hogwarts in five minutes' time. Please leave your luggage on the train, it will be taken to the school separately."”**

“Is it strange that I’m excited?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded, “OI!”

“You asked,” she said cheekily, and Sirius chuckled, shaking his head.

“You’re so funny,” he said, and Lily smiled.

**“Harry's stomach lurched with nerves and Ron, he saw, looked pale under his freckles. They crammed their pockets with the last of the sweets and joined the crowd thronging the corridor.**

**The train slowed right down and finally stopped. People pushed their way toward the door and out on to a tiny, dark platform. Harry shivered in the cold night air. Then a lamp came bobbing over the heads of the students, and Harry heard a familiar voice: "Firs' years! Firs' years over here! All right there, Harry." Hagrid's big hairy face beamed over the sea of heads.”**

“I _love_ seeing Hagrid at the beginning of the year,” James smiled.

“Makes me feel like I’ve come home,” Remus smiled.

“He’s just so friendly,” Sirius sighed

“Here we go again,” Lily giggled, and Sirius rolled his eyes as Remus and James chuckled.

“I’m getting over him,” Sirius said, “Because I want you!”

“Don’t hold your breath,” Lily laughed, “I need you alive.”

“Why? Because you love me?” Sirius asked hopefully, and Lily grinned.

“If you were gone, who would keep flattering me?” she asked, and Sirius grinned as Remus roared with laughter.

**“"C'mon, follow me - any more firs' years. Mind yer step, now! Firs' years follow me!" Slipping and stumbling, they followed Hagrid down what seemed to be a steep, narrow path. It was so dark on either side of them that Harry thought there must be thick trees there. Nobody spoke much. Neville, the boy who kept losing his toad, sniffed once or twice.”**

“Cry baby,” Sirius muttered, and Lily rolled her eyes.

**“"Ye' all get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec," Hagrid called over his shoulder, "jus' round this bend here."”**

“I remember that moment,” Lily smiled, “It was so beautiful.”

“It really was.” Remus said, smiling nostalgically, “We all said ‘ooh’ at the same time,” he chuckled, and Lily grinned.

“I didn’t,” she said, “I just kind of stood there in shock.”

“Muggles,” Sirius snorted, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Remus laughed.

**“There was a loud "Oooooh!"”**

Remus grinned smugly at Lily, who giggled, shaking her head fondly.

**“The narrow path had opened suddenly onto the edge of a great black take.**

**Perched atop a high mountain on the other side, its windows sparkling in the starry sky, was a vast castle with many turrets and towers. "No more'n four to a boat!" Hagrid called, pointing to a fleet of little boats sitting in the water by the shore. Harry and Ron were followed into their boat by Neville and Hermione.”**

“Poor kids,” Sirius pouted.

“They’ll be really important,” Lily said, and Sirius snorted

“How?”

“You’ll see,” Lily insisted, “Hermione especially!”

“I don’t believe you,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed

“You’ll see,” she whispered in a convincing tone.

**“"Everyone in." shouted Hagrid, who had a boat to himself. "Right then - FORWARD!" And the fleet of little boats moved off all at once, gliding across the lake, which was as smooth as glass. Everyone was silent, staring up at the great castle overhead. It towered over them as they sailed nearer and nearer to the cliff on which it stood.**

**"Heads down!" yelled Hagrid as the first boats reached the cliff; they all bent their heads and the little boats carried them through a curtain of ivy that hid a wide opening in the cliff face. They were carried along a dark tunnel, which seemed to be taking them right underneath the castle, until they reached a kind of underground harbor, where they clambered out onto rocks and pebbles.**

**"Oy, you there! Is this your toad?" said Hagrid, who was checking the boats as people climbed out of them.**

**"Trevor!" cried Neville blissfully, holding out his hands.”**

“See?” Lily said sweetly, “He liked his toad.”

“Why though?” Sirius whined, “It’s a _toad_!”

“Doesn’t matter,” Remus smiled, “It must’ve meant something to him!”

“Maybe his parents gave it to him, or something,” Lily smiled, “And it’s really sentimental.”

“You are looking way to far into this,” Sirius muttered

“You’re being judgmental,” Lily countered, and Sirius held his hands pu in surrender

**“Then they clambered up a passageway in the rock after Hagrid's lamp, coming out at last onto smooth, damp grass right in the shadow of the castle.**

**They walked up a flight of stone steps and crowded around the huge, Oak front door. "Everyone here? You there, still got yer toad?" Hagrid raised a gigantic fist and knocked three times on the castle door.”**

“And that’s the end of the chapter,” Lily said, closing the book awkwardly. She knew what was to happen next.

“What’s the next chapter?” Sirius asked, watching James’s determined expression nervously. Remus was already getting off the armchair so he could run out the Portrait Hole.

 **“Chapter Seven: The Sorting Hat** ”

“Wonder what that’s about,” Sirius said sarcastically, and Remus chuckled

“Hey, you want to go?” Remus asked, and Sirius nodded quickly, standing up.

“Yea, we should do that,” Sirius said, and he and Remus walked swiftly out of the Common Room, “Come find us!” he yelled over his shoulder, before closing the Portrait Hole.

“Merlin, that’s bound to be awkward,” Sirius shuddered, and Remus nodded grimly.

“Wonder how irritated they’re going to be,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted humorlessly.

“It’ll be entertaining, I’ll give them that,” he said, and Remus chuckled. Just then, a voice yelled and they turned quickly.

“Mr. Black! Mr. Lupin! Where, may I ask, were you during lunch?” a very irritated McGonagall demanded, stopping in front of them.

“We missed lunch?” Sirius gasped, and McGonagall nodded, her lips pressed in a tight line.

“We’re sorry Professor,” Remus said, rolling his eyes at his shaking friend.

“Make sure it never happens again,” McGonagall said sternly, “Never in all my years at Hogwarts have I witnessed students deciding not to attend a meal just for the heck of it!” she said shrilly.

“Sorry, woman, keep your hair on,” Sirius mumbled, and Remus gasped as McGonagall’s eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. Sirius grinned at McGonagall cheekily before grabbing Remus’s wrist, “Run!” He yelled, dragging Remus along the corridor.

“MR. BLACK!”

* * *

James looked up at Lily to see her sitting as stiff as a board. He sighed and got up, trying to ignore how nervous he was, and walked over so he was looking Lily in the eye.

“What?” she hissed irritably, looking up at him with angry eyes, which only worked in sparking his anger once more.

“What do you mean _what_?” James asked angrily, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him, pushing herself off the armchair so she was standing, glaring at James.

“I mean _what_ the hell is your _problem_ Potter?” she snarled, and James scoffed

“ _My_ problem? _I_ don’t have a bloody problem Evans!” he yelled, and lily crossed her arms

“Oh _bollocks_!” she screeched, throwing her hands up, “What is _wrong_ with you?”

“What’s wrong with _me_?” he bellowed, “I’m not the one who was bloody _hiding_!” he yelled, and Lily flushed, but managed to glare at him.

“YES I was bloody _hiding_!” she screeched, “You had _no_ right!”

“TO DO WHAT?” James bellowed, and Lily huffed.

“ANY OF IT!” she shrieked, “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!” he yelled, getting up in her face.

“YOU KNOW!” she screamed, jabbing him in the chest as she pointed at him angrily, “AND THEN YOU GO AND GET ANGRY AT ME FOR _NOTHING!”_ she added, and his eyes narrowed

“That wasn’t nothing,” he hissed, and Lily rolled her eyes, walking away from him, “No!” he yelled, grabbing her wrist, and she pierced him with her furious gaze.

“Let. Me. Go,” she said, glaring at his hand, but James didn’t let go, glaring at her.

“You _know_ it wasn’t nothing,” he hissed, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“It was _nothing_!” she screamed

“You said you had-“

“SO DID YOU!” she screamed

“THAT’S DIFFERENT!”

“HOW? I don’t understand _why_ you’re so worked up about this!”

“WHY?” he bellowed, “Because you’re _mine_!” he hissed, and Lily’s eyes narrowed into slits.

“I am not _yours_ Potter,” she hissed, and James rolled his eyes

“You _saw_ that!” he yelled, “With the patronusses! You _know_ that you’re mine!” he yelled, and Lily tugged her hand out of his grasp.

“That means _nothing_!” she screamed, shaking her head quickly, feeling her eyes moisten, and he rolled his eyes

“Don’t pretend you weren’t flustered,” he said angrily, “and then you go and say that you’ve _been_ with someone else!”

“I’M NOT YOUR PROPERTY, POTTER!” she shrieked, “WHAT I DO IS _NONE_ OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

“LIKE HELL IT ISNT MY BUSINESS!” he bellowed back.

“IT _ISN’T!_ ” she screamed

“Who was it?” he asked

“NONE. OF. YOUR. BUSINESS.”

“YOU’RE SO STUPID!” James bellowed

“WHY DO YOU BLOODY CARE ANYWAY?” she screamed, taking a step towards him, jabbing him in the chest again as she pointed at him, but he didn’t care.

“I WANT YOU EVANS!” he yelled, and Lily blinked.

“Well I don’t want you,” she said quietly, and James grabbed her wrist.

“Now, I know that’s not true,” he said, and Lily looked up at him.

“It’s true,” she said softly, sounding extremely threatening.

“Lily, we belong together,” he said, placing her hand on his heart, and Lily felt the beat quicken.

“No, we don’t,” she said bluntly.

“Bloody hell Lily!” James said, shaking his head. He was almost in tears now. Their anger had disappeared so quickly, only to be replaced by their confusion, “Why cant you see it?

“There’s nothing to see,” she said.

“Harry!” he yelled, and Lily turned go look at him angrily, “That’s proof right there! The patronusses! This! Right here! This constant arguing!” he yelled, and Lily looked at him, unsure of where he was going with this.

“I don-“

“Lily! We’re meant to be together!” he yelled.

“I DONT WANT TO BE WITH YOU BECAUSE WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE!” she yelled, “YOU’RE _NOT_ THE GUY I WANT TO END UP WITH!”

“BUT I LOVE YOU!” he yelled, and Lily blinked, shocked. James let go of her hand, and it fell, limp, and hung by her side.

“No you don’t,” she said quietly, and James glared at her.

“I’ll prove it,” he said, and before she knew it, James had grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her face to his, covering her mouth with his own.

* * *

**That’s the end of the chapter!**

**A special thank you to Sarah Liz B for offering and following through to write up a few chapters of the book for me. You’re amazing and thank you _so_ much.**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE (:**

**HAPPY FANFICCING!!!!**


	8. The Sorting Hat

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling.**

* * *

“So,” Sirius said, walking into the Marauders dormitory to see a messy haired boy lying on his bed, face down, “What happened?” James didn’t say anything, “James?” James still did not say anything, “Prongs?” James continued to lie there, not making a sound or moving at all, “OI! CORPSE OF PRONGS!”

“Go away,” James mumbled, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Not likely.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he muttered, and Sirius sighed

“I got a detention,” he said, and James’s head snapped up, smirking.

“What did you do?”

“I told McGonagall dearest to keep her hair on,” Sirius said, winking, and James burst out laughing.

“Good going,” he said, and Sirius grinned proudly.

“Now that I told you my news, your turn,” Sirius declared. James groaned and hid his face in the pillow once more. Sirius sighed.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” James bellowed, as suddenly a heavy weight was on top of him, “GET OFF!” he laughed, attempting to push his friend off him.

“NOT LIKELY,” Sirius barked, as James attempted to wrestle him off, but Sirius was just as strong.

“GET OFF!” James laughed, and Sirius grinned, shaking his head, his hair hitting James on the side of the face.

“Not until you tell me what happened,” Sirius said, and James shook his head, yelling for help, rolling around, and attempting to push Sirius off him.

“MOONY!” James yelled, but Sirius snickered

“He’s on _my_ side,” Sirius said, “Come on mate, don’t make me cross the line,” he said, and James squeaked, shaking his head violently, “Good, then tell me.”

“NO!” James yelled sternly, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“You asked for it,” Sirius said, and started to tickle James, who screamed, doubling his efforts to get Sirius off whilst laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face. Sirius was grinning just as widely, laughing at his friend

“STOP!” James choked out.

“Only if you swear to tell me,” Sirius said over his best mate’s pleas.

“N-NO!” James choked out, grinning, shaking his head violently, his messy hair tickling Sirius’s nose. Sirius sneezed violently, and James yelled, “PADFOOT! GROSS!” he yelled, as Sirius laughed, having sneezed into his best mate’s very prized hair, “GET OFF _PLEASE_!”

“Ah, there’s that magic word,” Sirius sung, rolling off James, so he was lying next to his best mate. James squeaked and sprinted to the bathroom, shoving his head underneath the tap, causing Sirius to snort. He walked out, shaking his head like a dog to dry off, and crossed his arms, glaring at his best mate, “What?” Sirius asked innocently, and James rolled his eyes, falling down on the bed next to his best mate, looking up at the canopy.

“I kissed her,” he said, and Sirius coughed, turning to look at his best friend incredulously

“WHAT?” Sirius choked, a smirk creeping up onto his face, “What happened? She must’ve _murdered_ you! What happened?” he repeated, openly laughing by now. James groaned, and opened his mouth to recount their fight.

“-and then I told her I’d prove it-“

“And you kissed her,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head, looking up at the canopy.

“Well, yes,” James said, and Sirius saw him turn red out of the corner of his eye.

“What happened after the kiss?”

_Lily, caught off guard, gasped, and James shoved his tongue into her mouth, and Lily felt her resolve crumble, only to be replaced by a scorching hot fire, spreading throughout her body. Of their own accord, her hands flew up into his incredibly soft hair, and she felt James smile against her lips, kissing her harder. His hands traveled down her body and rested on her hips, grabbing the soft cotton material of her shirt in his fists. Lily wrapped her arms more securely around his neck and he pulled her closer, reveling in the feeling of her._

_How long had he wanted to do this? And he finally got to? It wasn’t likely that he was about to stop soon._

_Lily, when in desperate need of oxygen, detached her mouth from James’ (Merlin knew he wouldn’t be the one to do it) and took in a large gasping breath. James didn’t seem to need oxygen, and moved down to her jaw, kissing his way up to her ear. Lily felt her eyes drift close. What he was doing felt so good; she couldn’t believe how good James was making her feel._

_Lily’s eyes flew open, realizing just whom this was who was kissing her. With strength that shocked James to his very core, she pushed him off her, causing him to topple over the arm of the sofa, landing on his back on the length of the sofa._

_“This is good too,” he said, resting on his elbows to look at her, his eyes twinkling mischievously, a smug smile on his face. His smile faltered as Lily stood there, looking at him with wide confused eyes, “Lily,” he said, and she shook her head slowly, eyes still open wide, backing away from him, and sprinted up the stairs to her dormitory._

“So she just, ran away?” Sirius asked, and James nodded, “I’m confused.”

“Welcome to my life,” James muttered, and Sirius snorted

“That girl is so bloody confusing,” he said, and James chuckled humorlessly

“I see you _finally_ got there,” James said, and Sirius shoved him playfully

“Did you go after her or anything?” Sirius asked, and James shook his head, bringing his hand up to his hair, “Why not?”

“Seemed like she wanted to be alone,” James said, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“You should’ve gone after her.”

“And done what?” James asked, turning so he was looking at Sirius, “allowed her to use me as a punching bag for her hexes?”

“Touché,” Sirius chuckled, and James rolled his eyes, lying back down on his back, bringing his hands up to cover his face

“I can’t go back down there,” James groaned, and Sirius rolled his eyes, “Not _another_ chapter anticipating the awkward talk after it,” he said, and Sirius sniggered.

“Coward,” he said, and James shoved Sirius, who barked out a laugh, “Come on,” he said, rolling so James was forced off the bed.

“Oi! That’s _my_ bed!” James whined, as Sirius lay on his stomach, arms and legs spread out so he took up the whole bed, “I’m going to have to change the sheets! Who knows where you’ve been,” James teased, and Sirius winked

“Trust me mate, you wouldn’t change the sheets,” he said, and James rolled his eyes, grinning, as Sirius rolled off his bed and threw his arm around James’ shoulder, “Shall we?” he suggested, and James sighed, allowing Sirius to drag him out of the dormitory. The boys walked down to the Common Room to see a very confused Remus sitting down on one armchair, and Lily on the other, chatting animatedly.

“I’m confused,” whispered James, looking at Sirius, who was looking at Lily with a beyond bewildered expression on his face.

“She’s strange, that one,” Sirius muttered, and James nodded, eyes wide. Lily, seeming to notice them, turned and, much to their shock, beamed.

“Hey,” she said, “Come on, let’s keep reading,” and with that, she grabbed the book from where it was and opened to the next chapter. James and Sirius looked to Remus whilst Lily was distracted, only to see him looking just as shocked as them. They walked slowly to the sofa and threw themselves on it, watching Lily warily as if she was going to explode, “I don’t want to read,” she said, and then threw the book at James, whose eyebrows flew up at the fact that she had acknowledged his existence.

“Why do I have to read?” he asked, his voice shaking with nerves, anxious for her reaction.

“Because,” she said, and smiled at him.

“Because?” James said skeptically, raising an eyebrow, and Lily nodded, grinning at him.

“Are you alright?” Sirius asked her bluntly, and she looked over at him, a pleasantly surprised expression on her face.

“‘Course, why wouldn’t I be?” she asked, and Sirius sat there, a dumbfounded expression on his face. Lily grinned and turned to look at Remus, who smiled at her awkwardly.

“Did she _forget_ about it?” Sirius whispered to James, who shrugged, absolutely confused.

“Come on!” Lily said, clapping her hands, “Hurry up!” she said to James, who muttered something about personality disorders under his breath, opening the book. He looked down at it and then huffed, looking back up at Lily, who cocked her head to the side.

“Can I talk to you?” he asked, and Lily smiled.

“Whatever about?” she asked, and James saw Sirius have a miniature coughing fit.

“Er, before,” he said, and was satisfied to see a light blush creep up under Lily’s skin.

“Sure,” she said, “After the chapter?” she suggested, and James nodded, flustered. He saw Sirius shake his head out of the corner of his eye, and Remus run his hand through his hair, obviously extremely confused.

“How about we start?” Remus suggested, his voice scratchy, and Lily huffed

“Honestly James, hurry up,” she said teasingly, and James threw Sirius a ‘please explain this girl to me’ look, causing him to shrug and shake his head in amusement.

“At least she doesn’t hate you,” Sirius whispered, and James snorted.

“That would make more sense,” he whispered back.

**“Chapter Seven: The Sorting Hat”**

“Wonder what this is about,” Lily said sarcastically, and the boys chuckled.

“Worry about it later,” Sirius whispered to James, “She’s being funny right now,” he said, and James chuckled

“Fine,” he whispered back, and looked at Lily, who was watching him expectantly.

“Well, go on,” she said, waving her hand, and James nodded, wondering _what_ was going on inside that tomato red head.

**“The door swung open at once.”**

“Wait, I’ve forgotten what happened,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“And you wonder why I don’t love you,” she teased, and Sirius laughed as James shook his head, smiling.

“How could you?” Sirius sighed dramatically, and Lily giggled, causing James to smile slightly.

“Hagrid’s just knocked on the door,” she said, and Sirius grinned, “You’re welcome,” she said, and Sirius snorted as Remus and James laughed.

“I never thanked you,” Sirius replied and Lily shrugged

“You were supposed to,” she said, and Sirius chuckled, “So I let you off the hook.”

“Does that mean you love him?” Remus teased, and Sirius’s eyes widened happily as Lily shook her head, grinning.

“I will get it out of you!” Sirius hissed, and Lily shrugged, grinning.

**“A tall, black-haired witch in emerald-green robes stood there. She had a very stern face and Harry's first thought was that this was not someone to cross.”**

“Hello Professor McGonagall,” Remus said pleasantly, and Sirius sniggered.

“Remember her face?” Sirius asked, and Remus laughed, nodding.

“Er, what?” Lily asked, and James snorted

“He got detention,” he answered, and Lily’s eyes widened, causing the boys to grin. Lily, predictably, had never gotten a detention in her life.

“For doing _what_?” she asked, amused, “It takes some serious skill to get a detention during the holidays,” she giggled, and the boys laughed.

“Well I am Sirius,” Sirius winked, and Lily groaned as James and Remus shook their heads fondly, “I told her to keep her hair on,” he said, and Lily’s eyes bulged, before she burst out laughing

“You actually did it?” she giggled, grinning, “Well done.”

“You congratulated him on a detention?” Remus gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed at her.

“You don’t know me,” she said, grinning mischievously, and James snorted

“I’ll say,” he murmured, and Sirius barked a laugh

“What?” Lily asked curiously, and the two boys cleared their throats awkwardly

“Nothing,” Sirius squeaked, managing somehow to make his tone sincere.

“I’ll pretend I believe you,” she said, and Sirius laughed as James and Remus grinned.

“And is this, dare I say, a display of your affection?” Sirius asked, and Lily snorted

“Absolutely not,” she said bluntly, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus laughed, “But don’t worry sweetie,” she cooed, and Sirius scrunched his nose at the nickname as Remus and James snickered at Lily’s evil grin, “You’ll be the first to know if I ever fall in love with you,” she said, and Sirius grinned.

“You mean _when_ you fall desperately and maddeningly in love with me,” he said, and the other three looked at him.

“Never, _ever,_ say that sentence again,” said Remus, shaking his head in disgust.

“I may vomit,” James said, and Lily giggled, causing him to sigh internally. _Why_ was she so complicated? _Why_ did the universe do this to him?

“You’re just jealous,” Sirius muttered, flushing at his rather embarrassing sentence.

“Of course they are,” Lily said, smiling sweetly, and Sirius grinned at her.

“I knew I loved you!”

“Okay,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus laughed.

**“"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," said Hagrid.”**

“I knew it was her,” Remus said, and the other three rolled their eyes

“Well done Captain Obvious,” Sirius muttered, and Lily giggled.

**“"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."”**

“Run away!” Sirius squeaked.

“Must you say that every time?” James asked exasperatedly

“WHEN HAVE I SAID THAT BEFORE?” Sirius bellowed, and the other three flinched at the sudden sheer volume.

“You’ve said it a lot,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted

“Yes, but its not like McGonagall says this all the time and I repeat this and-“

“Alright, Remus was wrong,” said Lily, laughing softly, and Sirius grinned at her

“I LOVE YOU!” he exclaimed happily, “Nobody _ever_ takes my side!”

“I wonder why,” Lily teased, and winked at James, who openly gawked at her.

“Because they’re intimidated,” Sirius declared, and the other three sighed, giving up on their ludicrous friend.

**“She pulled the door wide. The entrance hall was so big you could have fit the whole of the Dursleys' house in it.”**

“Small house,” Sirius muttered, and the other three looked at him incredulously

“Big hall,” Remus corrected, and Sirius flushed

“Right.”

“Idiot,” James muttered, and Sirius shoved him, grinning.

“Prat”

“Wanker”

“Tosser”

“Twat”

“Jerk”

“J-“

“Okay! Enough!” Remus said exasperatedly as the two boys eyed each other menacingly and Lily laughed, “What is _wrong_ with all of you today?”

“Well that’s rather rude, Moony,” Sirius said, turning ot him, and Remus snorted.

“There’s nothing wrong with me!” James said, and Remus snorted once again.

“I agree with them, that was uncalled for,” Lily said, and Remus snorted, once again.

“Yes, oink to you too, my friend,” Sirius said, and Lily and James burst out laughing as Remus rolled his eyes.

“It was certainly not uncalled for, you’re all odd today,” Remus said, and the other three glared at him, “Padfoot here has a death wish, and actually _told_ McGonagall to keep her hair on,” he said, and Sirius grinned proudly as Lily and James snickered, “Prongs is oddly twitchy and is acting frighteningly like Wormtail,” he said, and James’ jaw dropped as Sirius burst out laughing and Lily giggled, “and Lily,” he said, turning to her, and she raised her eyebrows in a menacing manner, “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you’re driving us all mad,” he said bluntly, and both James and Sirius looked at Remus in awe as Lily flushed a deep shade of maroon.

“Moony,” Sirius gasped.

“I didn’t know you had it in you, mate,” James said in a similar tone with an identical expression of worship on his face.

“Yeah! Good on you!” Sirius cheered, leaning over to slap Remus on the shoulder in a brotherly manner.

“Oh shut up,” Remus mumbled, neck and ears bright red, looking anywhere but at Lily, who was hiding behind her hair, “Let’s continue, shall we?” he squeaked out, and James grinned happily.

**“The stone walls were lit with flaming torches like the ones at Gringotts, the ceiling was too high to make out, and a magnificent marble staircase facing them led to the upper floors.”**

“I can’t believe he’s finally at Hogwarts,” Lily smiled, her face now only a light shade of pink, and the boys grinned in agreement.

“He is so poetic,” Sirius sniffed, accentuating each word, and Remus groaned as James grinned.

“Are we back on that?”

“Yes,” Sirius said bluntly, and winked at the giggling Lily.

**“They followed Professor McGonagall”**

“Stalkers,” Sirius hissed, and Lily rolled her eyes as James sniggered madly and Remus sighed in defeat.

“Must you interrupt for no reason?” Lily asked, and Sirius threw her a blank look

“Yes,” Remus answered for Sirius, who turned and grinned at him, winking, causing Remus to flush.

“Why are you blushing?” Sirius teased, “I _knew_ you were in love with me,” he said, and Remus snorted as Lily giggled and James shook his head fondly, “Then again, everyone is,” he sighed dramatically.

“Not me,” Lily grinned, and Sirius gasped as James and Remus laughed.

“That’s a lie,” Sirius stated, “You would _so_ be in love with me if I was trying,” he said and Lily laughed

“Doubtful,” she said. Sirius clapped his hands, as if he was about to get to business, and began to get off the sofa, when James grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back down.

“Stop _sabotaging_ me!” Sirius whined, and Lily and Remus laughed as James shrugged, grinning.

**“across the flagged stone floor.”**

“Remember when we did that?” Lily said, smiling, “I was _so_ nervous.”

“Why?” Sirius asked, and Lily snorted, looking at him incredulously

“I’m muggleborn, ditwad!” she laughed, and Sirius flushed

“Well, even us not muggle-borns were nervous,” said Remus, nudging Sirius, who grinned.

“That is true,” he laughed, “Remember Prongs?”

“No,” Remus said, “I met you lot _after_ we were sorted,” he said, and Sirius’ jaw fell

“I can’t believe you weren’t there!” Sirius gasped, and James sniggered, “Who’s going to help me mock him?”

“Looks like you’re on your own, mate,” James chuckled, clapping him on the back, and Sirius pouted.

“But I don’t want to tell the story by myself!”

“That’s why I’m so happy,” James grinned, and Sirius huffed, crossing his arms, as Lily and Remus looked at the two curiously.

**“Harry could hear the drone of hundreds of voices from a doorway to the right -the rest of the school must already be here”**

“They are,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed as James and Remus laughed.

“Once again, why must you interrupt for _no_ reason?” she asked, and Sirius grinned.

“Just so you’ll flare up,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James snorted

“And _why,_ may I ask, would you _ever_ , want that?” he asked, “Take it from me mate,” he said, resting a hand on Sirius’ shoulder, “You do _not_ want to be on the receiving end of a rant from Lily,” he said, and Lily flushed as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

“It’s not _that_ bad!” she squeaked defensively, and James snorted, turning to grin at her.

“Yes, my dear, it is,” he said, and Lily flushed, but continued to glare at him, “For example,” he said, sitting up straighter, and Sirius sniggered in anticipation as Lily’s blush deepened, “I remember one particular instance in which I ended up in the Hospital Wing due to an attack by some birds,” he said, cocking his head to the smile, smirking at Lily, who flushed

“In my defense, you were asking for it,” she muttered, and James’ eyes twinkled as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“While that may be true,” he continued, and Lily sighed irritably, causing the three boys to laugh, “It was a bit rash.”

“Shut up Potter,” she said, failing to come across as angry due to the grin on her face.

“Why were you provoking her anyway?” Remus asked, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“It’s a known fact that when people are angry they admit their true thoughts,” he said, and Lily snorted, obviously having figured out where Sirius was going with this, “So I figured if I got her wound up enough, she’d admit she loved me, albeit, I’d have to dodge a few curses, but at least she would have finally have been honest,” he ended, and both Remus and James snorted.

“First off,” Lily said, sitting up straighter, “When I am angry, I am still in the right mind, hence, I would not admit to something regarding love,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus chuckled, “Secondly, I don’t love you, so you wouldn’t get anything curses flung at you,” she said, and both James and Remus laughed as Sirius gaped.

“You hurt me _twice_ in that one sentence!” Sirius squeaked, and Lily grinned, “You would fling curses at me?” he asked, and Lily nodded, “And you don’t love me?” he asked, and Lily grinned, “I hate her,” he said, turning to James, who chuckled.

“Thirdly, getting her wound up is never worth it,” James said to Sirius, who sighed dramatically as Lily and Remus laughed.

“I understand your dilemma now,” Sirius sighed, and James flushed, as did Lily, as Remus sniggered, reaching out to hi-five the smirking Sirius.

“That was mean,” James mumbled, and Sirius shrugged, and winked at Lily, who rolled her eyes, fighting a smile.

**“- but Professor McGonagall showed the first years into a small, empty chamber off the hall. They crowded in, standing rather closer together than they would usually have done, peering about nervously.**

**"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall.”**

“Thanks,” James and Sirius said simultaneously, and then looked at each other, before bursting into first of uncontrollable laughter

“Always?” Lily asked Remus, who sighed and nodded, the corners of his mouth pulling up in a grin

“Yep,” he said simply, and Lily laughed, shaking her head.

“How do you do it?” she asked, and Remus shrugged.

“Years of practice.”

“Must take some serious dedication,” she said, watching as James and Sirius burst into yet _another_ fit of laughter.

“It did,” Remus chuckled, “But now I can read a book whilst they converse,” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“I’m impressed,” she said, and Remus laughed.

“You two are rather rude,” Sirius said, turning to glare at Lily and Remus, both of whom shrugged

“Doesn’t look like they care,” James said, rather obviously.

“No, really?” Sirius said, turning to James, his voice drowned in sarcasm.

“Oh shut it,” a flushing James said as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“"The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly,”**

“Those words _wound_ me every year,” Sirius said sadly, and James snickered.

“Because he’s always hungry,” Remus said to Lily, who snorted

“I figured that for myself, thanks,” she teased, and Remus rolled his eyes as James and Sirius laughed

“Honestly Moony,” Sirius said, “You should know by now that she is perfectly capable of handling herself!”

“Really Moony,” James said with a faux-insulted expression on his face, “I thought you were the smart Marauder!”

“Apparently not,” Remus muttered, “if I was smart I wouldn’t talk to you two,” he mumbled, and Lily grinned as Sirius and James gasped dramatically

“Moony! Say it’s not so!” Sirius begged, “I’m already dealing with wining Lily’s heart, don’t tell me I have to win yours back as well!” he said, and Remus snorted

“You never had my heart,” Remus said, the corners of his mouth turning up.

“That’s a lie,” Sirius said bluntly, “and the end of this discussion,” he said, and Remus laughed along with James and Lily as Sirius crossed his arms, chin jutting out.

**“but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses.”**

“What house do you think he’s going to be in?” Sirius asked, and they all turned to look at him irritably, “What?”

“I would think it was rather obvious,” Lily said, and Sirius huffed

“You never know!” he said defensively

“You realize if he goes into Slytherin he could be the next Voldemort, right?” Remus asked, and James snorted

“He wont be a Slytherin,” he said, and Remus sighed.

“That’s true,” he said, and both Lily and James grinned, “Any bets on which hou-”

“Gryffindor,” Lily said in a bored voice, and both Sirius and James snickered at Remus’ bewildered expression at having been cut off by Lily of all people, “Yes, I’m rude,” she said as Remus opened his mouth, and his jaw dropped further, causing his fellow Marauders to burst into splits of manly giggles.

**“The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.”**

“Well, those of you who don’t have a life will,” Sirius snorted, and Lily sighed, turning to him, “Yes?” he said teasingly, and Lily rolled her eyes, turning away from him.

“You’re annoying her,” James said, and Sirius turned to him with a blank expression

“Have you stolen the cape from Remus?” he asked, and James quirked an eyebrow

“He’s referring to Remus’ Captain Obvious status,” Lily said, and the three boys turned to incredulously, “Oh damn,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Even _I_ didn’t know what he was thinking, and that’s saying something,” James said, and Lily sighed.

“I’m hanging around you lot too much,” she groaned, “when does everyone get back?” she asked desperately, looking towards the Portrait Hole, and the boys laughed.

“It’s because you love me,” Sirius winked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“No,” she said, “It’s because we’re partners in crime,” she said, and Sirius’s eyes twinkled.

“Too right you are, Mudblood,” he said, and Lily chuckled, shaking her head, “Yet I’m still convinced its because you love me.”

“Well, technically, opposites attract,” she said, “So I wouldn’t be able to read your mind if we were in love.”

“Damn,” Sirius muttered, and the other two boys grinned as Lily crossed her arms smugly.

**“"The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards.”**

Sirius snorted.

“Agreed,” James said, and Remus rolled his eyes as Lily shook her head fondly.

“Did we just have a four-way?” Sirius gasped, and Lily scrunched her nose

“No,” she said bluntly, and both James and Remus burst out laughing.

“Never knew you had a dirty mind, Evans,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes, smirking at Sirius’ bewildered expression

“I MEANT,” yelled Sirius, causing the other three to flinch, “Did we have a four-way mind reading thing?” he asked, and Lily frowned, before nodding.

“I guess we did,” she said, and the boys laughed at her shocked expression

“Never thought you’d see the day, did you?” Remus teased, and Lily whimpered

“My life is over,” she cried, and the boys sniggered.

**“While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rulebreaking will lose house points.”**

“Only if you’re caught,” Sirius said, grinning.

“And how many times have you been caught?” Lily countered, and Sirius winked.

“In comparison to how many times I have not been caught, never,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“He’s telling the truth,” Remus said, and James smirked, nodding.

“Whatever,” Lily said, holding her hands up, “I’m Head Girl next year, I’ll get back at you,” she winked, and the boys gasped

“Well, Prongs is going to be Head Boy, so he’ll overrule you,” Sirius retorted, and James smirked.

“Are you suggesting that since he’s Head _Boy,_ he’ll have more power over me? Because I’m Head _Girl_?” she asked, her eyebrows raised, and Sirius paled.

“Way to provoke the strongest feminist in the world,” Remus teased, and Sirius whimpered as James roared with laughter

“No,” Sirius said weakly, and Lily grinned at him

“Good.”

**“At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours.”**

“I hope otherwise,” Sirius said, and James snorted in agreement. Lily narrowed her eyes at them.

“You lot are terrible,” she said irritably, and the boys grinned, “I cannot believe I-“ she bit her lip then, and Sirius’s eyes twinkled mischievously

“Were you about to refer to the fact that you and Prongs made a baby?” he asked, and Lily turned bright red as James coughed, uncomfortable, but pleased at Lily’s blush.

“I think she was,” Remus said, grinning.

“I thought you were the nice one!” she hissed, turning to Remus, who smiled innocently.

“Never trust a Marauder,” he said, smiling, and Lily glared at him as Sirius and James sniggered.

“Too right you are,” Sirius laughed, clapping Remus on the shoulder.

“I hate you all,” Lily muttered

“Surely not Prongs,” Sirius gasped, “You two did get married! Not to mention the previously mentioned baby-making,” he said, grinning slyly at Lily while James chuckled, shaking his head fondly.

“Go die,” she said bluntly.

“But you’d miss me!” Sirius cried, and Lily grinned

“Quite the contrary, Black,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

**“"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school.”**

“You know,” Sirius said, turning to Remus, ignoring Lily’s frustrated expression, “Jamesie here was convinced we’d have to duel a troll, or something of that nature,” he said, and Remus sniggered, as did Lily, while James flushed

“I was _eleven_!” he cried, “you shouldn’t be so mean to me!”

“So this argument works when it’s in reference to _you_ but not in reference to Harry,” Lily said, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows at the Marauder.

“Yes! I mean, er, no,” he said, and grinned cheekily, causing the corners of Lily’s mouth to twitch.

**“I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting." Her eyes lingered for a moment on Neville's cloak, which was fastened under his left ear, and on Ron's smudged nose.”**

“What is up with that smudge?” Lily squeaked, and the boys grinned

“Is the dirt bothering you?” Sirius asked innocently. Lily flushed, but miraculously held her irritated expression.

“I think it is,” Remus mused, watching Lily in an amused fashion

“It wont go away!” she squeaked, and the boys laughed.

**“Harry nervously tried to flatten his hair.”**

“Poor sod,” Sirius chuckled, and James chuckled, running his hand through his hair.

“Not going to happen,” James said, and Lily huffed.

**“"I shall return when we are ready for you," said Professor McGonagall, "Please wait quietly."”**

“SEE! She asked them!” Sirius said, and Lily giggled

“I don’t think she expected you to start singing,” she laughed, and Sirius shrugged, grinning.

“That was _you_?” Remus gasped, and James snorted

“Who else would it be?” he asked, and Sirius smirked

“Well, I recall a brief period in our fifth year when Snivellus sung us love ballads,” he said, and looked at Lily nervously, “Er, sorry,” he muttered, and Lily grinned

“I have to say, it was rather funny,” she said, and the boys grinned.

“My parents received nineteen owls that day,” James said, shaking his head at the memory, and Remus and Sirius roared with laughter and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“Really?” she asked, humour plain on her features.

“Yes,” he said, laughing, “They went ballistic!”

“That was one hilarious howler,” Sirius said, and they all laughed.

**“She left the chamber. Harry swallowed.**

**"How exactly do they sort us into houses?" he asked Ron.”**

“Your father asked the exact question child,” Sirius said wisely

“Yes, and you told me I’d have to duel a troll,” James muttered, and the other two grinned

“And that is how you went in, and asked, rather loudly, where the troll was,” Sirius said, eyes twinkling, and the other two burst out laughing.

“ _So_ embarrassing,” James muttered as the other three continued to laugh.

“Dumbledore seemed to enjoy it,” Sirius said, and James groaned, hiding his face in his hands as they continued to laugh.

**“"Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking."”**

“Fred? Joking?” James gasped

“Highly unlikely,” Sirius said, shaking his head, and Lily giggled as Remus sighed.

“Why do I bother?” he asked Lily, who shrugged

“I don’t,” she grinned, and Remus laughed as James and Sirius snorted

**“Harry's heart gave a horrible jolt. A test? In front of the whole school? But he didn't know any magic yet - what on earth would he have to do?”**

“I love how scared he is,” Sirius said, a gleeful expression on his face

“You’re terrible,” Lily declared, “And that is why I don’t love you,” she added, and both James and Remus laughed as Sirius pouted magnificently.

“I’ll work on it!” he assured Lily, who smiled sweetly

“I’m not sure if it’ll work,” she sighed dramatically, “After all, I have been known to _not_ accept confessions of love,” she said, and winked at James, who groaned and hid his face in his hands as his two best friends laughed

“You managed to insult both James _and_ Sirius in one go,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head, “You are my new favorite person.”

“WHAT?” Sirius bellowed, “But _I’m_ your favorite person!”

“He said _new_ favorite person,” Lily said.

“And you weren’t ever my favorite person anyway,” Remus said, and Sirius pouted, “No, no amount of pouting will get you out of this,” Remus said sternly, and Lily giggled. James was still hiding.

“Oh _come on_! Pouting my extremely sexy lips _always_ works!” Sirius yelled, and Lily rolled her eyes, “OI!”

**“He hadn't expected something like this the moment they arrived. He looked around anxiously and saw that everyone else looked terrified, too.”**

“Don’t worry, that look wears off after the first term,” Sirius said seriously, and the other three burst out laughing

**“No one was talking much except Hermione Granger, who was whispering very fast about all the spells she'd learned and wondering which one she'd need.”**

“Ugh, I hate her,” Sirius said, squirming in disgust.

“No you don’t,” Lily said, and Sirius shot her an irritable look, “what?”

“I _do_!”

“Well, you wont,” said Lily, and Sirius huffed

“You’re lucky I love you,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“If you were talking to any other girl in our year, I’m sure they’d agree,” she said, and Sirius barked a laugh as Remus and James chuckled.

“Well played,” James smiled, and Lily shrugged.

**“Harry tried hard not to listen to her. He'd never been more nervous, never, not even when he'd had to take a school report home to the Dursleys saying that he'd somehow turned his teacher's wig blue.”**

“BRILLIANT!” Sirius and James yelled together.

“Now they’re going to go change the colour of Merrythought’s wig,” Remus sighed, and Lily looked at him, eyebrows raised

“She has a wig?” she asked, and Remus nodded as James and Sirius burst out laughing again, having made the mistake of meeting each other’s eyes.

**“He kept his eyes fixed on the door. Any second now, Professor McGonagall would come back and lead him to his doom.”**

“Now that’s a _tad_ dramatic,” Remus said, as James, Sirius and Lily laughed.

“He gets that from his mother,” James said, and Lily gasped as Sirius and Remus howled with laughter

“I am not dramatic!”

“I respectfully disagree,” James said, smiling.

“You hypocrite!” she laughed, chucking a cushion at him.

“I’m not dramatic!”

“ _I_ respectfully disagree,” she said back, and James laughed.

“I am not!”

“Actually, you are,” Remus said, and James pouted

“Doesn’t work with your mediocre lips,” Sirius said, and James spluttered as Lily and Remus laughed, Lily slightly pink.

“My lips are _not_ mediocre!”

“THEY SO ARE!”

“Bollocks,” James snorted

“Lily, are James’s lips mediocre?” Sirius asked Lily, who flushed a fiery shade of red.

“Er-“

“Moving on,” Remus said, a smile creeping up onto his face, clapping his hands as Lily flushed, James flushed, and Sirius shook with laughter.

“You have to admit, that was brilliant,” Sirius whispered to Remus, who sighed and nodded.

“It was,” he chuckled, as James and Lily looked down at the floor, their faces turning steadily redder.

“Do you think they’ll _finally_ get together after this chapter?” Sirius whispered, and Remus shrugged

“I would think so,” he answered, “But then again, this is Lily and James we’re talking about, things will never be so easy,” he said, and Sirius sighed, nodding in agreement.

“Idiots,” he muttered, and Remus grinned.

**“Then something happened that made him jump about a foot in the air”**

“What?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed

“You know, if you didn’t interrupt, we’d know by now,” she said, and Sirius laughed, blowing her a kiss, “No I don’t accept,” she said, waving her hand as if she were shooing the kiss away.

“You just broke my heart,” Sirius whined

“What heart?” she shot back, and Sirius grinned as Remus and James laughed

“Why would you say that?”

“Well, I do talk to lots of girls,” she said, “And from what they tell me, I don’t think you have one,” she said, grinning, and Sirius flushed as James and Remus continued to laugh at him.

“Sow hat do they say about me?” Sirius asked, leaning towards her, intrigued

“That is for me to know, and for you to _never_ find out,” she winked, and turned to James expectantly, who took it as his cue to continue reading, a smirk on his face

**“- several people behind him screamed.**

**"What the-?" He gasped. So did the people around him. About twenty ghosts had just streamed through the back wall.”**

“Oh that’s not nearly as exciting as what I thought,” Sirius said irritably, falling backwards into the sofa.

“What, dare I ask, did you think?” Remus asked.

“Something along the lines of life threatening danger, I assume,” James said, and Sirius huffed once more, confirming his theory.

“Sorry to disappoint,” Lily laughed, and Sirius smiled

“Thank you for apologizing, I love you!”

“Not going to return the sentiment,” she said, and Sirius pouted again.

**“Pearly-white and slightly transparent, they glided across the room talking to one another and hardly glancing at the first years. They seemed to be arguing. What looked like a fat little monk was saying: "Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance -"**

**"My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, he's not really even a ghost - I say, what are you all doing here?"”**

Sirius burst out laughing

“What?” Lily asked.

“Fat little monk,” he wheezed, and Lily looked at him incredulously

“That was a while ago!”

“Still!” he wheezed, continuing his laughter.

“So Peeves is still causing havoc,” Remus mused, completely ignoring his madly cackling best friend.

“The day Peeves stops causing havoc is the day hell freezes over,” Lily said, and James laughed

“And is the day you go out with me,” he said, and Lily laughed. She reached down and brushed her fingers on the carpet

“Still warm and toasty,” she said, grinning cheekily. James gasped, smiling, as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Give it a few more pages,” Remus murmured, and Sirius laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.

**“A ghost wearing a ruff and tights had suddenly noticed the first years.”**

“Ever realized how ridiculous Nick’s clothes are?” Sirius asked, and James laughed.

“They’re very girly,” he said, and Lily snorted

“No they’re not!”

“Tights Lily! He’s wearing _tights!_ ”

“I’m afraid you have no argument Ginger,” Sirius said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

“Never again,” she said, and Sirius grinned mischievously

“You’ve just given him a challenge,” Remus said, and Lily groaned

“Challenge accepted,” Sirius said, winking at Lily, who pouted, “I have to say, it looks a lot better with your lips,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, flushing, as JAmes turned to glare at Sirius, who winked at him.

**“Nobody answered.”**

“RUDE!”

“Are you drunk, Sirius?” Lily asked, and both Remus and James laughed as Sirius grinned

**“"New students!" said the Fat Friar, smiling around at them. "About to be Sorted, I suppose?" A few people nodded mutely.”**

“Since when is nodding noisy?”

“SIRIUS!” Lily yelled, and he grinned at her as Remus and James chuckled, “WILL YOU PLEASE?”

“Only if you say you love me,” he sung, and Lily snorted

“Keep interrupting, I don’t care,” she said, and Sirius pretended to sob, causing the corners of her mouth to twitch.

**“"Hope to see you in Hufflepuff!" said the Friar. "My old house, you know."”**

“Absolutely not,” James said sternly, shaking his head, “My son will _not_ be a Hufflepuff.”

“Anything other than Gryffindor?” Remus asked, and James sighed

“I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn’t be _that_ bad,” he said, and Sirius looked at him, affronted

“WHAT?”

“You heard nothing,” James said, and Sirius snorted as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“"Move along now," said a sharp voice. "The Sorting Ceremony's about to start." Professor McGonagall had returned.”**

“Only McGonagall has it in her to yell at the deceased,” Sirius snorted, shaking his head, causing the other three to chuckle.

**“One by one, the ghosts floated away through the opposite wall.”**

“I wish I was a ghost,” Sirius sighed wistfully

“That can be arranged,” Lily said, grinning at him

**“"Now, form a line," Professor McGonagall told the first years, "and follow me."”**

“NO!”

“I hate him, I really do,” Lily said to Remus, who smiled at her sympathetically as James joined Sirius in hysterics.

**“Feeling oddly as though his legs had turned to lead, Harry got into line behind a boy with sandy hair,”**

“MOONY!”

“Not every boy with sandy hair is me, believe it or not,” Remus said amusedly.

“I know,” Sirius said, grinning, “I just interrupted to see Lily-Flower’s face,” he said, turning to Lily, who looked like she was trying _very_ hard not to yell at him.

“So it’s back to Lily-Flower?” James asked, and Sirius cocked his head to the side, stroking his ‘beard’

“I want Ginger to be in there somewhere,” he said, and they saw Lily close her eyes, as if trying to gather self control, “I think I’m going to go with Ginger-Flower,” he said, and the boys laughed as Lily groaned, dropping her head so that they hit her bent knees.

**“with Ron behind him, and they walked out of the chamber, back across the hall, and through a pair of double doors into the Great Hall.**

**Harry had never even imagined such a strange and splendid place.”**

“How is it strange?” Remus asked

“It’s strange,” Lily said, and the boys turned to her with bewildered expressions on their faces, “Well, for muggleborns at least,” she said and the boys sighed.

“He’s not muggleborn!” Sirius said, smiling, obviously very proud of his ‘witty’ comeback.

“Might as well be,” James snorted.

“He’s not muggleborn,” Lily said, and James turned to look at her

“He grew up with muggles!”

“Yes! But he’s not a muggle!” she said, and James rolled his eyes, “Don’t roll your eyes at me James Potter,” she said, and James smirked as Remus and Sirius laughed

“Sorry Lily Evans.”

“Apology accepted,” she said teasingly, and James pretended to look extremely grateful.

“When did he stop being awkward around her?” Sirius asked Remus quietly, and Remus shrugged

“When did we all?” he asked, and Sirius bit his lip thoughtfully

“She’s one of us now, isn’t she?” Sirius asked, and Remus chuckled

“I’m afraid so.”

“Damn,” Sirius whined, “Now we have _two_ prefects!”

“Well, next year you’ll have _both_ Head students and one prefect,” Remus winked, and Sirius groaned magnificently, catching the attention of the other two

“What?” James asked, and Sirius turned to Remus, who grinned.

“Nothing of importance,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted, turning irritably away from Remus

“What’s got his panties in a knot?” Lily asked

“I don’t wear panties, Evans,” Sirius said as Remus and James snickered.

“Oh, really?” she asked, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her as his two friends laughed.

“I can prove it,” Sirius said, standing up, and Lily shrieked.

“No! Don’t! No proving necessary!” she squeaked, and Sirius grinned devilishly, sitting back down, crossing his arms proudly.

“Shouldn’t you be insulted that she didn’t want to see you without your pants, rather than smug?” Remus asked, and Sirius’s jaw dropped as James roared with laughter and Lily giggled.

“EVANS!”

“I love you!” she said, and then gasped, “NO! I DON’T!”

“YOU SAID IT!” Sirius exclaimed happily, jumping up and down on the sofa, pointing at her as Remus and James laughed.

“I wasn’t talking to you!” she said, and Sirius quirked an eyebrow

“Oh really? Then whom would you be talking to?”

“Remus,” she said, “He was the one who took a jab at you.”

“Damn you for coming up with a passable explanation,” he said bitterly as Remus and James laughed and Lily grinned

“Keep trying Sirius,” she said, and he winked at her

“Oh, I will.”

**“It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles that were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting.”**

“We know,” Sirius said in a bored voice

“Just making sure Pads, one never knows with you,” James teased, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at his best mate as Lily and Remus grinned

**“Professor McGonagall led the first years up here, so that they came to a halt in a line facing the other students, with the teachers behind them.”**

“Watch your back,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“I’d say that if they had their backs to the _students_ ,” she said, and Remus laughed

“She has a point,” he said, and Sirius shrugged, nodding

“Agreed.”

**“The hundreds of faces staring at them looked like pale lanterns in the flickering candlelight.”**

“That’s poetic!” Sirius cooed

“And eerie,” James muttered, shuddering.

“That is true,” Remus said

“At least it’s poetically eerie!”

“I don’t see how that matters,” James snorted, “Eerie is eerie.”

“Very good James, eerie is eerie,” Remus smirked, and James stuck his tongue out at him.

“Yes, but at least it’s beautifully eerie. I mean, it’s not like he said something like ‘the faces looked pale and scary’,” Sirius snorted, and Lily laughed

“I have to agree with Sirius on this one,” she said, and Sirius beamed at her as James and Remus looked at her in shock

“Keep reading,” Sirius sung smugly, turning to James, who rolled his eyes at his friends’ euphoria.

**“Dotted here and there among the students, the ghosts shone misty silver.”**

“Urgh, I hate sitting next to ghosts,” Remus muttered

“Especially when they decide to lean on you,” Sirius snickered and Remus shuddered.

“What am I missing?” Lily asked, amused by Remus’ reaction.

“Nearly Headless Nick seems to have taken a liking to Remus,” Sirius said, grinning, “And before your mind goes there, not in the disgusting way,” Sirius added, and Lily snorted

“I’m not _you_ Sirius,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“Whatever,” he said, “So Nick sits next to Remus and then sighs, and then leans over, and ends up falling all the way through Remus, who screams because it’s like getting a bucket of icy water thrown at you,” he said. Lily and James laughed as Remus shot Sirius a dark look, to which he only grinned.

“Poor Remus,” Lily cooed, and Remus stuck his tongue out at her.

**“Mainly to avoid all the staring eyes,”**

“Since he’s famous and all”

“I’m surprised there are no cameras”

“And screaming hoards of girls”

“And boys”

“You never know”

“To each his own, right?”

“Precisely”

"Shut  _up!"_ whined Remus, dropping his head back with a frustrated groan. The two bit back laughs, exchanging gleeful glances, as Lily giggled.

**“Harry looked upward and saw a velvety black ceiling dotted with stars. He heard Hermione whisper, "Its bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in _Hogwarts: A History_."”**

“Swot,” Sirius said, and Lily turned to look at him.

“You don’t actually hate her, she’ll be really important later in the story, lay off, she’s only eleven, honestly, you’ll see,” James said, mimicking Lily’s voice, and both Remus and Sirius sniggered as Lily shot James a withering look.

“That’s not what I was going to say at all,” she said, and James flushed as his friends burst out laughing.

“Then what, pray tell, were you going to say?” James asked sweetly

“I was going to say I knew all that stuff before I got here as well, so you cant pick on her,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“Exactly, swot,” he winked, and Lily gasped, and crossed her arms

“You know, I was going to tell you I loved you, but I’m not going to anymore,” she said, and Sirius cursed.

**“It was hard to believe there was a ceiling there at all, and that the Great Hall didn't simply open on to the heavens.”**

“Yes, he’s poetic,” said Lily, as Sirius opened his mouth.

“DO YOU MIND?” he yelled, and Lily smirked

“Not at all,” she smiled, and Sirius huffed as his friends burst out laughing.

**“Harry quickly looked down again as Professor McGonagall silently placed a four-legged stool in front of the first years.”**

“WHAT? No it’s three-legged!” Sirius yelled

“No, it’s four,” Remus said.

“NO! It’s _three_!”

“No, mate, it’s four,” James said, and Sirius glared at him

“I swear on my _life_ that it’s three!”

“Well that’s not swearing on much,” Lily teased, and Sirius gasped, faux-affronted, as James and Remus laughed.

“Rude,” he said, and Lily smiled

“That was mean, I’m sorry,” she said, and Sirius beamed

“See!” he said, turning to his best mate, “she _knows_ when she’s been too mean!”

“She’s Lily,” James said.

“Right, overly nice,” Sirius muttered, and Lily’s jaw dropped

“You’re all terrible bloody wankers,” she said irritably, and the boys burst out laughing

**“On top of the stool she put a pointed wizard's hat. This hat was patched and frayed and extremely dirty. Aunt Petunia wouldn't have let it in the house.”**

Lily grinned, “I know,” she said mischievously, and the boys looked at her with raised eyebrows

“What did you do?” James asked, a grin growing on his face at Lily’s devilish expression

“I may or may not have sent her something filthy for Christmas,” she said, and the boys choked, “Don’t worry, I sent her something nice as well,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Lily Evans,” Sirius grinned, “I’m liking you more and more every day”

**“Maybe they had to try and get a rabbit out of it, Harry thought wildly, that seemed the sort of thing”**

Lily snorted as the boys looked confused.

“I don’t understand,” Sirius said, turning to James, who, for once, didn’t make a joke about Sirius’ intelligence.

“Me either, why would you pull a rabbit out of a hat?” he asked.

“Why would you need to?” Remus asked, “You can just conjure one up,”

“Or transfigure something,” James said, frowning

“Your son is a mystery,” Sirius said, shaking his head

“Naturally, I mean, it’s James,” Remus said teasingly, and James snorted

“You’re a muggle,” Sirius said, turning ot Lily, who snorted as the boys laughed, “What doe sit mean?”

“Well, it’s a muggle ‘magic’ trick,” she said, making air quotations on the word ‘magic’.

“How does it work?” Sirius asked

“Wait, muggles can do magic?” James asked, an adorably confused expression on his face.

“No,” Remus snorted, “That’s why they’re _muggles_ ,” he said, emphasizing the word, and James flushed

“Muggles think they can,” Lily said, and the three boys snorted, “a classic trick for a muggle magician is to pull a rabbit out of a hat,” she said, and the boys rolled their eyes

“You muggles are insane,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him

“I’m not a muggle!”

“Then what are you?” he countered, and Lily hesitated. James threw Sirius an irritable look; that was a sensitive topic for Lily

“He’s just being a twat Lils, don’t listen to him,” James said, and Lily shook her head

“He’s right though,” she said, a sad tone to her voice. She dropped her head into her hands and Sirius adopted an extremely guilty expression while James and Remus threw him dirty looks

“Look, Lily, I’m sorry,” Sirius said, but Lily didn’t move. He got off the sofa and walked over to the armchair, standing awkwardly by it. He turned to look at his friends, who urged him on with fierce looks. He gently put a hand on Lily’s shoulder and knelt down so his face was a little lower than hers, “Lily, really, I’m sorry,” he said.

Lily’s head snapped up, and she grinned at Sirius, who looked taken aback.

“Were you _acting_?” Sirius gasped, and Lily giggled, nodding. He continued to look at her, dumbfounded, and after a few seconds of silence, James fell over in hysterics. Sirius turned around to see Remus red in the face, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. He turned back to Lily, who was giggling, “You’re _evil_!”

“I know,” she sung, patting him on the head, “now go sit down so James can read,” she said, and Sirius huffed, standing up.

“I hate you,” he said, and Lily laughed.

**“- noticing that everyone in the hall was now staring at the hat, he stared at it, too.”**

They all laughed, “That’s adorable,” Lily cooed, grinning.

“That is,” James nodded, smiling.

“They’re having a parental moment!” Sirius whispered, rather loudly, to Remus, who snorted as the two in question flushed and cleared their throats awkwardly.

**“For a few seconds, there was complete silence. Then the hat twitched. A rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth - and the hat began to sing:”**

“I _love_ the Sorting Hat’s songs!” Remus squeaked

“Because you’re strange,” Sirius said, “They’re ruddy boring.”

“I think they’re interesting,” Remus said.

“I do too,” James said, and Sirius gasped, turning ot him, aghast

“Prongs!”

“What?”

“How dare you!”

“How dare I what?”

“Turn to the dark side!”

“So Remus is the dark side?” Lily asked, smirking

“No, the dark side is the prefect side,” Sirius said, grinning, and Lily scrunched her nose.

“Then I’m not a prefect,” she laughed, shaking her head, “I find the song repetitive and rather dull.”

“WHAT?” Remus and James gasped as Sirius cackled madly

“What?” she asked, “It’s always singing about how it’s a hat, but not a regular hat, and then it sings about the houses,” she said, and the two gaped at her.

“You shock me every day,” James said, shaking his head fondly, a small smile on his face.

“Thanks,” she grinned, and the boys snorted.

“It doesn’t always sing that!” Remus said, and Lily threw him a blank look

“You’ll see,” she said, gesturing to the book.

**_"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,_ **

**_But don't judge on what you see,_ **

**_I'll eat myself if you can find_ **

**_A smarter hat than me._ **

****

**_You can keep your bowlers black,_ **

**_Your top hats sleek and tall,_ **

**_For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat_ **

**_And I can cap them all._ **

****

**_There's nothing hidden in your head_ **

**_The Sorting Hat can't see,_ **

**_So try me on and I will tell you_ **

**_Where you ought to be._ **

****

**_You might belong in Gryffindor,_ **

**_Where dwell the brave at heart,_ **

**_Their daring, nerve, and chivalry_ **

**_Set Gryffindors apart;_ **

**_You might belong in Hufflepuff,_ **

**_Where they are just and loyal,_ **

**_Those patient Hufflepuffis are true_ **

**_And unafraid of toil;_ **

**_Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_ **

**_If you've a ready mind,_ **

**_Where those of wit and learning,_ **

**_Will always find their kind;_ **

**_Or perhaps in Slytherin_ **

**_You'll make your real friends,_ **

**_Those cunning folk use any means_ **

**_To achieve their ends._ **

****

**_So put me on!_ **

**_Don't be afraid!_ **

**_And don't get in a flap!_ **

**_You're in safe hands (though I have none)_ **

**_For I'm a Thinking Cap!"_ ** **”**

“Told you,” Lily said, as Remus and James gaped at the book and Sirius regarded her in awe.

“I have never loved you more,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes, giggling.

“You’ve just ruined the magic of the Sorting Hat for me,” Remus groaned, shaking his head, “Lily! How could you?”

“Easily, actually,” she said cheekily, and Remus snorted as Sirius and James laughed.

“Either you’re incredibly observant, or you just cant forget anything someone else says,” James said, and Lily snorted

“I pay attention to the Sorting Hat,” she said.

“Lily!” Sirius gasped, affronted, “Ginger-Flower, how _could_ you?” he asked, and Lily’s expression darkened as James and Remus snickered.

“What? It’s not like I have anything else to do! I’m not busy planning pranks or whatever it is you lot do,” she snorted, and the boys grinned

“Alas, she has a point,” James said dramatically.

“Everything aside though,” Sirius said, “The Sorting Hat _does_ sprout the truth,” he said, and they all turned to him, “I mean, how Slytherins are ‘those cunning folk’ who ‘use any means to achieve their ends’,” he said, “I mean, that’s entirely true”

“And I’m the one who cant forget anything,” Lily muttered, and James shook his head incredulously

“Yes Sirius, that’s why it’s so ruddy brilliant,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted

“I never said it wasn’t brilliant, I said I didn’t particularly like the songs it sings.”

“He’s right, actually,” James pointed out, and Remus snorted

“Go away Potter,” he said irritably, and Lily looked at him with raised eyebrows as James guffawed and Sirius snickered.

“That’s copyrighted Lupin,” she said, and Remus snorted as James and Sirius laughed.

**“The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became quite still again.”**

“They’re only clapping out of formality,” Sirius said bitterly, and the other three rolled their eyes

“If we don’t talk to him, he’ll stop,” James told Lily, who giggled.

**“"So we've just got to try on the hat!" Ron whispered to Harry. "I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll."”**

The boys burst out laughing, and Lily tried to hide her grin.

“Damn, I should’ve told you we were wrestling rather then dueling!” Sirius sighed, and James rolled his eyes as the other two laughed.

“I really like these twins,” Lily grinned

“Do you like them better than us?” Sirius asked, spreading his arms.

“Yes,” she said bluntly, and then winked at Sirius’, who had a stupefied expression on his face.

**“Harry smiled weakly.”**

“WHY?” Sirius yelled, “You should be happy!”

The other three chuckled, but otherwise didn’t say anything.

**“Yes, trying on the hat was a lot better than having to do a spell, but he did wish they could have tried it on without everyone watching.”**

“Self-conscious prat! You’re _famous_! Get used to the attention!” Sirius yelled dramatically, and looked around at the other three for a response, to see them all looking at the book.

**“The hat seemed to be asking rather a lot; Harry didn't feel brave or quick-witted or any of it at the moment. If only the hat had mentioned a house for people who felt a bit queasy, that would have been the one for him.**

**Professor McGonagall now stepped forward holding a long roll of parchment.”**

“Hey it works!” Lily laughed, looking at James, who sniggered and nodded. They turned to look at Sirius, who gaped at them

“YOU- YOU- YOU-“

“Yes,” James said simply, and Sirius huffed blowing a stray lock of hair out of his eyes.

“There were so many jokes in there!” Lily said, and Sirius sighed

“There were,” he said, grinning, “Like his mini-rant on the houses?” he said, and Lily giggled, nodding.

“I think we’d _all_ have been placed in the house for queasy people,” Remus laughed, and the other three nodded, grinning.

“I think that’s called First Year,” James said wisely.

“Touché,” Sirius laughed.

“Sans the Slytherins,” Remus said irritably

“Well, they do have to look in the mirrors every morning,” Sirius said solemnly, and they all laughed

“If the mirrors haven’t shattered already,” James added, and Sirius guffawed, grinning.

**“"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said.”**

“Awesome,” Sirius said, sitting up

“I’m interested to see what the hat says to him,” Remus said, cocking his head to the side

“Me too, actually,” James said.

“I see the Head Boy is sinking in early,” Sirius muttered, and both Remus and Lily laughed as James turned, bewildered, to look at his best mate.

“Oi!” he said, and Sirius winked at him.

**“"Abbott, Hannah!" A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the hat, which fell right down over her eyes, and sat down. A moments pause–**

**"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat.”**

“I don’t like her,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Because she’s a Hufflepuff?” she asked, and he nodded, grinning

“What about the Slytherins?” Remus asked, and Sirius scrunched his nose

“I hate them,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James chuckled

“So you hate Slytherins, don’t like Hufflepuffs, love Gryffindors, and simply like Ravenclaws?” she asked, and Sirius grinned, nodding.

“Not that complicated,” James said.

“It’s Sirius,” Remus deadpanned, and Sirius gasped as the other two laughed.

“I RESENT THAT!”

“I know you do,” Remus said simply, grinning at his friend

“Abbot?” Lily asked, “As in, Joshua Abbot?”

“I guess?” James said, and Lily made a non-committal noise, nodding her head

“Why?”

“Just curious,” she said, and the boys shook their heads fondly

“I didn’t know there was an Abbot at our school!” Sirius said, and Remus shrugged

“Lily knows everybody,” he said, and James snorted in agreement as Lily flushed.

“I don’t see how that’s a bad thing,” she said defensively, and Remus grinned

“It’s not.”

**“The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down at the Hufflepuff table. Harry saw the ghost of the Fat Friar waving merrily at her.”**

“Although I don’t like Hufflepuffs, I really like that ghost,” Sirius said, and the other laughed

“What’s wrong with Hufflepuffs, if I may ask?” Lily asked, and Sirius shrugged

“I mean, they’re in Hufflepuff. I don’t really see the magic in them, you know?” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“That’s rather judgmental,” she said, and Sirius grinned.

“Why so defensive Evans?” he asked, and Lily snorted

“I just don’t think it’s fair!”

“Not to mention your ex is in Hufflepuff,” Remus snickered, and Lily flushed as James’ expression darkened and Sirius’ eyes widened.

“REALLY?” Sirius asked, looking at Lily, “You went out with a Hufflepuff?”

“Maybe?” she squeaked, and a flash of irritation crossed across James’s face.

“Who?” he asked, his voice sounding strained. Sirius and Remus looked at James warily.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugged, “I chucked him a month ago,” she said, and James’s expression relaxed considerably. Sirius and Remus sighed in relief.

“Well, who was it?” he asked, and Lily sighed

“Joshua Abbot,” she said, and the three boys looked at her, before Sirius barked a laugh.

“So _that’s_ how you thought of him!” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling slightly.

“Wait a minute,” James said, turning to Remus, “how did you know?” he asked, and Remus looked at James warily.

“Lily told me on rounds,” he said, and James’ eyebrows shot up

“And you didn’t tell us?” Sirius gasped, and Remus laughed.

“She told me not to!”

“You did?” Sirius asked, turning to Lily, who nodded, “Why?”

“Because I knew you’d take the mickey out of me if you knew,” she shrugged, and Sirius snorted, but didn’t have a comeback. She was right.

“How long did you two date?” James asked, and Lily frowned.

“Er-“

“Two months,” Remus said, and Lily grinned at him

“Thanks,” she laughed, and Remus shook his head, grinning

“And we didn’t find out?” Sirius gasped.

“I don’t see how you didn’t, to be honest,” said Lily, “Everyone else knew.”

“NO!” Sirius gasped, and Lily grinned.

“You’re out of the loop, Sirius,” she said, and Sirius groaned.

“I feel pathetic.”

“You are,” she said, grinning, and the other two boys laughed. James still seemed to be deep in thought.

**“"Bones, Susan!"**

**"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat again, and Susan scuttled off to sit next to Hannah.”**

“Amelia!” Sirius said happily

“Or Jessica,” Remus said, and Sirius frowned

“Her last name isn’t Bones,” he said.

“But she’s dating Alex Bones,” he said, and Sirius snapped his fingers

“Of course,” he said, and Remus chuckled

“That doesn’t mean they’re going to get married,” Lily said, and Sirius shrugged

“Haven’t they been together since, like, third year?” he asked, and Lily frowned, before nodding

“Exactly,” Remus said. James was still lost in thought.

“Oi!” Sirius said, noticing this, and nudging James, “Where are you?”

“Sorry,” James chuckled, running his hand through his hair.

“Come back!” Sirius said dramatically, and James grinned

“I’m back!” he said, and Sirius barked a laugh

**“"Boot, Terry!"**

**"RAVENCLAW!"”**

“I like you,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes, as did James and Remus.

**“The table second from the left clapped this time; several Ravenclaws stood up to shake hands with Terry as he joined them.**

**"Brocklehurst, Mandy" went to Ravenclaw too,”**

“I like you too,” Sirius said, “Oh sod it, this is getting irritating,” he muttered, and the other three laughed.

**“but "Brown, Lavender" became the first new Gryffindor,”**

“YEAH!” Sirius yelled, punching the air, “I _love_ her!”

“That’s kind of creepy, mate, considering she hasn’t been born yet, you know,” James teased, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him.

“Well, the one woman I love who is alive wont reciprocate my feelings,” he said, glaring at Lily, who laughed.

“So you’re going to prey on eleven year olds who are, what, forty years younger than us?” she asked, and Sirius nodded proudly.

“Score,” James said sarcastically, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“and the table on the far left exploded with cheers; Harry could see Ron's twin brothers catcalling.”**

“Think she’s fit?” Sirius asked

“Now you’re just disgusting me,” Lily said, “Please stop.”

“Anything for you love,” he said, winking at her.

**“"Bulstrode, Millicent" then became a Slytherin.”**

The three boys booed, and Lily sighed in annoyance.

“It’s okay Lily,” Remus grinned, “You’ll catch on.”

“I pray I wont,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“Perhaps it was Harry's imagination, after all he'd heard about Slytherin, but he thought they looked like an unpleasant lot.”**

“They are,” James said, and Lily laughed

“Come on Lily, even you have to admit that,” Remus said, and Lily sighed

“They are,” she said, nodding, and the boys grinned, satisfied.

**“He was starting to feel definitely sick now. He remembered being picked for teams during gym at his old school. He had always been last to be chosen, not because he was no good, but because no one wanted Dudley to think they liked him.”**

“I _hated_ getting picked for gym,” Lily said, and the boys looked at her amusedly

“Were you picked last?”

“No,” she snorted, causing the boys to raise their eyebrows at her, “Oh shut up, just because I don’t play Quidditch doesn’t mean I can’t do _anything_.”

“Oh really?” James asked, leaning forwards, an amused expression on his face.

“Really,” she said, “I’m a decent football and tennis player, thank you very much,” she said, and the boys snorted

“What are those?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed

“Muggle sports,” she said, “I’ll show you later.”

“You will?” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

**“"Finch-Fletchley, Justin!"**

**"HUFFLEPUFF!"** **Sometimes, Harry noticed, the hat shouted out the house at once, but at others it took a little while to decide.**

**"Finnigan, Seamus," the sandy-haired boy next to Harry in the line, sat on the stool for almost a whole minute before the hat declared him a Gryffindor.**

**"Granger, Hermione!"”**

“Not Gryffindor!” Sirius begged, “ _Anything_ but Gryffindor!” he pleaded

“She’s smart Sirius,” Lily sighed, “Surely you don’t want her in Slytherin.”

“Make her a Ravenclaw then!” he squeaked

“But then you’d have to like her,” James smirked, and Sirius swore.

“Face it Sirius,” Remus laughed, “She’s the next Gryffindor know-it-all,” he said, winking at Lily.

“I hate Gryffindor know-it-alls!” Sirius whined.

“Thanks,” Lily said bitterly, and Sirius’ eyes widened as the other other three laughed.

“You’re different!”

“No I’m not,” she snorted, “We’re both muggleborn, we’re both know-it-alls, we’re both Gryffindors, we’re both awkward,” she said, and the boys snickered.

“We don’t know she’s a Gryffindor,” Sirius said half-heartedly.

“Whatever Sirius,” Lily laughed.

“You’re not the same!” he said again, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You sound like Severus,” she said, and then clapped her hand over her mouth. The three boys looked at her warily as her eyes closed.

“How?” James asked gently

“That somehow I’m different from the other muggleborns,” she said quietly, and the boys looked at each other.

“Well, you are,” Sirius shrugged, “You’re awesome.” Lily grinned, and lowered her hand, shaking her head.

“You’re incorrigible,” she said, and James gasped

“I thought that was me!”

“You need a new insult for me, love, I cant be like Prongs,” Sirius said, shuddering, and James threw him a not-amused look.

“You know you want to be like me,” James teased, and Sirius snorted

“No,” he said, and Remus laughed.

“You’re both admirable, happy?” Lily said, laughing, and the two dumbstruck boys nodded slowly.

“ **Hermione almost ran to the stool and jammed the hat eagerly on her head.**

**"GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat.”**

Sirius groaned, but had a resigned expression on his face, “Fine,” he sighed, as if it pained him to say this, “I’ll give her a chance,” he said, and Lily laughed

“You wont regret it,” she assured him, and he looked at her

“You swear?” he asked, and Lily laughed

“You gave me a chance,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“Yep, no regrets there,” he said, smiling at her, and Lily’s expression softened, a smile spreading across her face.

“Okay, enough, can’t have you two having a romantic moment,” Remus said, clapping his hands, “You know how James gets.”

“OI!” James squeaked, red with embarrassment, as Remus and Sirius howled with laughter and Lily giggled a little, her face tinged pink, “WHY? Why?”

“Too good to pass up, mate,” Remus laughed, and James turned away from him, muttering about betrayal under his breath.

**“Ron groaned.”**

“Why don’t you reprimand him?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged

“He’ll learn,” she said

“And she thinks they’re going to get married, remember?” Remus said, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Oh, of course, my bad,” he said sarcastically, and Lily laughed, as did James and Remus.

**“A horrible thought struck Harry, as horrible thoughts always do when you're very nervous.”**

“Too right you are,” Sirius said solemnly

**“What if he wasn't chosen at all? What if he just sat there with the hat over his eyes for ages, until Professor McGonagall jerked it off his head and said there had obviously been a mistake and he'd better get back on the train?”**

“That would be so terrible,” James said, shaking his head sadly

“But we know it’s not going to happen,” Sirius said

“It would still be terrible.”

“Terrible? Prongs it would be _disastrous_!”

“Can you imagine not being picked?”

“At all? I know. What a slap in the face!”

“Exactly!”

“That’s preposterous, good thing it’ll never happen”

“Of course it wont’! Not with Dumbledore around”

“My point exactly”

“Stop it, you two,” Lily hissed, and James and Sirius grinned at her as Remus chuckled, rubbing his temples. 

**“When Neville Longbottom, the boy who kept losing his toad, was called, he fell over on his way to the stool. The hat took a long time to decide with Neville. When it finally shouted, "GRYFFINDOR,"”**

“NO!” Sirius gasped. James and Remus had identical expressions of shock on his face.

“What did you expect?” Lily asked, bewildered, “Franks a Gryffindor!”

“She has a point,” Remus sighed, rubbing the back of his neck

“That pansy! A Gryffindor?” Sirius gasped, “PAH!”

“Well, I mean, look at Wormtail,” James said, and Sirius sighed.

“Touché”

“That’s so mean!” Lily gasped

“Don’t pretend you think differently,” James said, and Lily flushed, causing him to beam.

“ **Neville ran off still wearing it, and had to jog back amid gales of laughter to give it to "MacDougal, Morag."”**

“Cute,” Lily grinned, and the boys turned to her, “What?”

“Maybe if you’d done that she would’ve gone out with you,” Sirius whispered to James, who whacked him on the back of the head, causing him to snicker madly.

**“Malfoy swaggered forward when his name was called and got his wish at once: the hat had barely touched his head when it screamed, "SLYTHERIN!"**

**Malfoy went to join his friends Crabbe and Goyle, looking pleased with himself.”**

“Yes, I bet he’s thrilled,” Sirius said bitterly, “Bet mummy and daddy are proud of him.”

“Oi! Outcast!” Lily said, snapping her fingers, “Snap out of fit!” she commanded, and Sirius chuckled.

“Is that why you snapped?” Remus said teasingly, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Sirius roared with laughter

“You’re hilarious,” she said sarcastically, and Remus grinned

**“There weren't many people left now.**

**"Moon”…”**

“Moon?” Sirius snorted, “Really?”

“Yep,” James laughed, looking closely at the book

“You sure your old man eyes aren’t failing?” Sirius asked, eyes twinkling humorously

“Oh shove off,” James laughed, shoving Sirius in the shoulder, as Lily and Remus chuckled.

**““Nott"…,"Parkinson"…, then a pair of twin girls, "Patil" and "Patil"…, then "Perks, Sally-Anne"…, and then, at last –**

**"Potter, Harry!"”**

“I am _so_ excited!” James said, sitting up, eyes bright.

“I know!” Sirius said excitedly

“Seems kind of stupid doesn’t it?” James asked, and Sirius nodded

“Since when’ve the two of you cared?” Remus asked, and the two in questioned looked at each other, before shrugging

“We don’t,” James said

“Just making an observation Remmy-poo,” Sirius said, and James snickered as Remus scowled.

“I hate when they call me that,” he said, and Lily laughed

“I would too,” she said sympathetically, and Remus huffed, crossing his arms,

**“As Harry stepped forward, whispers suddenly broke out like little hissing fires all over the hall.”**

“Poetic,” Sirius said, and James rolled his eyes

“It’s kind of funny actually,” Lily giggled, “I mean, him being a celebrity and all.”

“Why is fame funny?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged

“I meant how gossipy the Hogwartians are,” she said, and the boys snorted

“That’s two made up words in one sentence, Evans,” Sirius winked

“I think Padfoot’s having a bad influence on you,” James agreed, grinning at Lily

“Oh shut up,” she said, grinning.

“Hogwartians,” Remus chuckled, and the other two boys laughed, “That’s a clever one.”

“Thank you Remmy-poo,” Lily said sweetly, and Remus scowled as Sirius and James howled with laughter.

**“" _Potter_ , did she say?" **

**“ _The_ Harry Potter?"”**

“ _The_ Harry Potter,” Sirius repeated, sniggering

“Really? I prefer the ‘ _Potter,_ did she say?’” James laughed

“Us Hogwartians are a fun bunch,” Sirius said, winking at Lily, who sighed

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” she said, and the boys shook their heads simultaneously.

**“The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at him.”**

“Undressing him with their eyes,” Sirius added, and Lily’s whole face contorted

“SIRIUS BLACK!” she screeched, and his eyes twinkled mischievously as James and Remus sniggered, “That’s _disgusting!_ Absolutely _repulsive!_ ”

“Why?” he asked innocently, “Because he’s your son?”

Lily froze, “I didn’t even think of that,” she groaned, hiding her face, “He’s _eleven!_ AND he’s my baby!” she cried, and the boys laughed, “SIRIUS YOU ABSOLUTE PIG!”

“Whoa Evans, calm down,” Sirius laughed, “James is right here,” he said, “You cant yell at me while he’s around! It’s like adultery!”

“Oh shut up,” Lily said as James, Remus and Sirius roared with laughter, “And it’s only adultery if you’re married,” she pointed out, unable to contain the urge to correct people.

“Well you’re going to be,” Sirius said, and Lily threw him a nasty look.

**“Next second he was looking at the black inside of the hat. He waited.”**

“W-“

“No! Please, just, don’t interrupt when the hat is speaking,” Lily said, and Sirius sighed

“I will interrupt the _second_ his house is announced,” he said, and Lily sighed

“Fine”

“Deal.”

 

**“Hmm," said a small voice in his ear. "Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, oh my goodness, yes - and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting....  So where shall I put you?"**

**Harry gripped the edges of the stool and thought _, Not Slytherin, not Slytherin._  **

**"Not Slytherin, eh?" said the small voice. "Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that – no? Well, if you're sure - better be GRYFFINDOR!"”**

“YES!” Sirius and James yelled, punching the air. Lily was frowning slightly, but a smile was clearly displayed on her face. Remus was chuckling at his two best friends, who were now hugging each other on the sofa.

“Honestly, the two of you should’ve known that,” he chuckled, as they pulled apart, yelled out happily and tackled one another once more.

“Doesn’t change the fact that we’re celebrating,” James said, but pulling away from Sirius and sitting up all the same.

“Yeah, it’s official now,” Sirius said, and Remus sighed, deciding not to bother arguing with his mentally incapable friends.

“Not a bad mind, my arse,” James muttered, looking over the book once more, “He has a _brilliant_ mind, thanks,” he said, and Sirius snorted

“Conceited much?”

“I was referring to Lily,” he said, and Lily laughed

“Yes, thank you, but I believe you were referring to yourself,” she said, and James flushed

“Shut up,” he said, and the other three grinned, “Apparently he’s talented.”

“I already knew that,” Lily said, and the boys snorted

“Who’s conceited now?” Sirius teased, and Lily laughed

“I have to say that, I’m his mother,” she said, and Sirius laughed.

“Touché.”

“I’m so proud he chose to _not_ be in Slytherin,” Remus said, smiling.

“Agreed!” James said happily, “he actually _asked_ the Sorting Hat for anything but Slytherin, bless him,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“You lot are crazy,” she declared, and the boys grinned

“Thank you,” they said in unison.

**“Harry heard the hat shout the last word to the whole hall. He took off the hat and walked shakily toward the Gryffindor table. He was so relieved to have been chosen and not put in Slytherin, he hardly noticed that he was getting the loudest cheer yet.”**

“What? No smile?” Sirius asked, and Lily laughed

“He’s in shock, leave the kid alone,” she said, and Sirius huffed

“He’s odd,” he said, “I mean, you two smiled,” he said, gesturing to Lily and James, who shrugged

“We were more mentally strong,” Lily said, and James laughed

“Are you saying he’s _not_ mentally strong?”

“No,” she said, “He’s just insecure.”

“Potters are _not_ insecure,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Figures,” Sirius muttered, “the celebrity gets the loudest cheer.”

“Well, that’s only expected,” Remus said amusedly.

“That’s why I said figures,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, causing James and Lily to laugh.

**“Percy the Prefect”**

Sirius snorted, but chose not to say anything when he noticed Lily’s expression. Wise of him.

**“got up and shook his hand vigorously, while the Weasley twins yelled, "We got Potter! We got Potter!"”**

The four laughed, “I _really_ like these twins,” Lily laughed

“Lily,” Remus said, “You’re making James jealous,” he said, gesturing to James, who snorted as Sirius roared with laughter.

“It’s healthy,” she said, and James turned to her incredulously as his two friends laughed.

**“Harry sat down opposite the ghost in the ruff he'd seen earlier. The ghost patted his arm, giving Harry the sudden, horrible feeling he'd just plunged it into a bucket of ice-cold water.”**

Remus winced sympathetically, causing the other three to burst out laughing.

“Poor Remus,” Sirius cooed, and Remus rolled his eyes, otherwise ignoring his friend. 

**“He could see the High Table properly now. At the end nearest him sat Hagrid, who caught his eye and gave him the thumbs up. Harry grinned back. And there, in the center of the High Table, in a large gold chair, sat Albus Dumbledore. Harry recognized him at once from the card he'd gotten out of the Chocolate Frog on the train.”**

“He’s not that hard to identify, to be honest,” Lily said, and the boys laughed in agreement

**“Dumbledore's silver hair was the only thing in the whole hall that shone as brightly as the ghosts.”**

The four of them laughed

“He’s poetic and funny,” Sirius said, “This kid has it all!”

“If only you had his talents Sirius,” Remus said dramatically, and Sirius pouted.

“I know! Then Lily would fawn over me as well and that’d make _every_ girl in Hogwarts!” he said dramatically, and Lily snorted as James and Remus laughed.

“Not every girl fawns over you, Sirius,” she said, and he raised his eyebrows at her

“I’ve already mention-“

“I wasn’t talking about me,” she laughed, “Even in my dormitory, there are others,” she said, and Sirius gasped as James shoved his fist into his mouth to hold back laughter and Remus shook with silent laughter.

“That is it! I’m sneaking into your dormitory.”

“No, you’re not,” Lily said sternly, and Sirius groaned

“Damn it Lily!”

**“Harry spotted Professor Quirrell, too, the nervous young man from the Leaky Cauldron. He was looking very peculiar in a large purple turban.”**

“It’s stuffed with garlic,” James said immediately, and Lily giggled as his friends looked at him as if he’d lost his mind

“He had an ‘encounter’ with a vampire,” Lily explained, and the boys faces broke into grins

“That was clever, James!” Remus said, grinning.

“It’s been known to happen,” James said bitterly, and the other three laughed.

**“And now there were only three people left to be sorted. "Thomas, Dean," a Black boy even taller than Ron, joined Harry at the Gryffindor table. "Turpin, Lisa," became a Ravenclaw and then it was Ron's turn. He was pale green by now. Harry crossed his fingers under the table and a second later the hat had shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"”**

“Knew it,” Remus said, but that didn’t seem to matter to Sirius and James, who were dancing around in their seats.

“Are they always this ridiculous?” Lily asked, laughing, her eyes on James, who was pretending to go into a dramatically intense air-drum solo, as Sirius waved his hair around next to him.

“Yes,” Remus said, looking at Lily curiously. He followed her line of sight and grinned widely

“What?” she asked, turning to him, and he shook his head, smiling.

“They’re funny,” he shrugged, and Lily laughed

“That they are,” she said, and the two boys grinned at her

“I _knew_ you found us hilarious!” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged, laughing.

“Not a big secret.”

“But you always yell at us for being funny,” James said, and Lily shrugged

“Someone has to be stern,” she said, looking pointedly at Remus, who grinned at her.

**“Harry clapped loudly with the rest as Ron collapsed into the chair next to him.**

**"Well done, Ron, excellent," said Percy Weasley pompously across Harry as "Zabini, Blaise," was made a Slytherin. Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and took the Sorting Hat away.”**

“For once, I agree with Percy the Prefect,” James said, and Sirius laughed, nodding.

“At least the pompous git can do _something_ ,” he said, and James laughed, nodding.

“What a git,” James said, “Why is he sitting with First Years?”

“There’s no assigned seating or anything,” Lily said, rolling her eyes

“I bet its so he’s near Harry,” James said bitterly

“He is a celebrity,” Sirius said, and James chuckled, shaking his head.

“I don’t want him associating himself with Percy the Prefect”

“Doesn’t look like you’re going to get your wish,” Lily said, “Ron’s going to be his best mate, and Percy’s Ron’s brother,” she said, and James groaned.

“Why does the universe do this?” he asked, looking up at the ceiling.

“Why don’t you ask it,” Sirius snickered, and James shoved him.

**“Harry looked down at his empty gold plate. He had only just realized how hungry he was. The pumpkin pasties seemed ages ago.”**

“SHAME!” Sirius yelled, and Lily laughed, “How can you forget about your stomach?”

“Well that’s a bit hypocritical Sirius,” Remus said amusedly, “Haven’t you forgotten about three meals in the last few days?” he asked, and both James and Lily laughed as Sirius flushed

“That’s not the same! I was distracted!”

“And he wasn’t?” James asked, nodding towards the book

“ _Whose side are you on_?” Sirius bellowed, and James laughed

“This is my son,” he said, and Sirius huffed, crossing his arms.

“I’m your best mate.”

“Son comes first,” Remus said, and Sirius threw him a nasty look

“Lily,” he said, turning to Lily, “You can’t marry Prongs.”

“Er, okay,” she said, and James threw Sirius an irritated, close to furious, look.

“What?” Sirius asked, and James rolled his eyes as Remus snickered and Lily pretended she couldn’t see their interaction.

**“Albus Dumbledore had gotten to his feet. He was beaming at the students, his arms opened wide, as if nothing could have pleased him more than to see them all there.”**

“I doubt anything would,” Remus laughed, “he seems to _really_ love his job,” he said fondly.

“You know, I never think of Dumbledore as Headmaster as a job,” Lily mused, “It just seems so normal, you know?”

“Like he’s supposed to be here?” James suggested, and Lily nodded

“Exactly!”

“I know,” James said, nodding and Lily smiled at him, causing his heart to flutter.

**“"Welcome," he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!**

**"Thank you!"”**

“Those are such funny words,” Lily giggled

“Only you, love, would find humor in simple words,” Sirius said, shaking his head fondly

“So it isn’t your partner in crime giggling like a little girl?” she asked, gesturing to James, who was, indeed, ‘giggling like a little girl’

“WHAT?” Sirius bellowed, “Mate! What’s gotten into you?”

“It was funny,” squeaked James, his face red from laughing.

“You’re _pathetic_ ,” Sirius said, turning to Remus, “Oh I wont ever bother with you,” he said, noticing Remus’ shaking shoulders, “you’re all ridiculous”

“Actually, since the three of us are laughing, wouldn’t you say, since you’re the minority, that _you’re_ ridiculous?” Lily asked, and Sirius glared at her as James and Remus broke into further spouts of manly giggles.

**“He sat back down. Everybody clapped and cheered. Harry didn't know whether to laugh or not.”**

“You laugh,” Sirius said.

“No you don’t!” Lily said.

“Yes, you do,” James said.

“I agree with them,” Remus said.

“Obviously, you Marauders find everything funny,” she muttered, and the three boys grinned

“Jealous?”

“No,” she said, “Just irritated.”

“Why?” James asked curiously

“That I have to sit with you lot for ten more chapters,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“And you’ll love every minute of it, I promise,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed.

**“"Is he -- a bit mad?" he asked Percy uncertainly.”**

“Yes,” the four of them said simultaneously. They looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

**“"Mad?" said Percy airily. "He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?"”**

“Okay, I may have a little more respect for him after that,” Sirius laughed, and the other three chuckled.

“I love how he got all defensive, only to agree with Harry,” Remus chuckled, and Sirius laughed

**“Harry's mouth fell open.”**

“Shut your mouth!” Sirius chastised, winking at Lily, who rolled her eyes as the Marauders laughed.

**“The dishes in front of him were now piled with food. He had never seen so many things he liked to eat on one table: roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, boiled potatoes, roast potatoes, fries, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup, and, for some strange reason, peppermint humbugs.”**

Sirius’s stomach grumbled, and he groaned, causing the other three to burst out laughing.

“Predictable,” Lily giggled, shaking her head.

“I’m _hungry_!” he whined, and the other three huffed

“You _just_ ate,” Remus said, and Sirius shrugged

“I’m still hungry!” he said, and then turned to Lily, a twinkle in his eye, “Can you call that house elf?”

“No,” Lily said, and Sirius huffed

“What was her name?” he asked, turning to James, who looked at Lily, before shrugging, “You’re doing that because she’ll get mad if you tell me!”

“Yes,” he said simply, and Sirius turned to Remus, who shook his head

“Do you want me to starve?” he yelled, and Lily grinned, “Don’t answer that.”

“I wont,” she said sweetly.

**“The Dursleys had never exactly starved Harry, but he'd never been allowed to eat as much as he liked. Dudley had always taken anything that Harry really wanted, even if it made him sick. Harry piled his plate with a bit of everything except the peppermints and began to eat. It was all delicious.”**

“Stop it!” Sirius whined, and the other three laughed, “That’s not fair! I’m _starving_!”

“No you’re not,” Lily said, and Sirius sighed.

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh, but I do,” she said, and Sirius huffed.

“You’re a terrible person.”

**“"That does look good," said the ghost in the ruff sadly, watching Harry cut up his steak,**

**"Can't you -?"**

**“I haven't eaten for nearly four hundred years," said the ghost.”**

“I know the feeling,” Sirius whined, holding his stomach.

“Honestly,” Lily sighed, “Jessie!”

“I LOVE YOU!” Just then, there was a crack and the house elf appeared, smiling at Lily.

“How can I help Miss Lily?”

“If you don’t mind,” said Lily, “Could you _please_ bring up a few-“

“Treacle Tarts,” Sirius said, and Lily turned to glare at him.

“Four treacle tarts, miss?” Jessie asked Lily, who nodded, but Sirius groaned

“Actually, can you make it seven?” she asked, and the boys eyebrows rose.

“Of course miss,” Jessie said, grinning, and vanished with a crack

“Seven?” James asked

“I figure you boys are going to have two each,” she said, and the boys grinned sheepishly

“You know us well, my dear,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes, as Jessie reappeared. She handed out the treacle tarts, handing two each to the boys, before waving at Lily and disapparating.

“You are a god,” Sirius said through his mouthful of tart.

“Whatever Sirius,” Lily said, shaking her head amusedly.

“At least now I know her name,” Sirius said, grinning, and Lily groaned

“Good thing house elves like work,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“"I don't need to, of course, but one does miss it. I don't think I've introduced myself? Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington at your service. Resident ghost of Gryffindor Tower."”**

“That’s a bloody long name,” Sirius muttered

“Not as long as Dumbledore’s,” James snickered, and Sirius grinned.

“Right.”

“Honestly,” Remus chuckled “Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore,” he said, and the others laughed

“Can you imagine having that many names?” Lily laughed, shaking her head, “I’d go nuts. Thank Merlin I only have three,” she said, and the boys eyebrows shot up

“You have a middle name?” James asked, and Lily flushed, but nodded.

“WHAT IS IT?” Sirius demanded, and Lily laughed, and shook her head

“I would, but I know you’ll abuse it,” she said, and Sirius huffed as Remus smirked

“A wise decision,” he said, and Lily grinned, “Can you tell me?”

“No,” she said, and Remus sighed.

“HA Moony,” Sirius said, and Remus laughed

“It’s not going to torture me like it’s going to torture you,” he said, and Sirius pouted.

“Damn you to hell.”

**“"I know who you are!" said Ron suddenly. "My brothers told me about you - you're Nearly Headless Nick!"”**

“Not smart,” James grimaced.

“He hates that,” Sirius nodded.

**“"I would prefer you to call me Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-" the ghost began stiffly, but sandy-haired Seamus Finnigan interrupted.**

**"Nearly Headless? How can you be nearly headless?"”**

“Don’t ask that while you’re eating!” Lily squeaked.

“We did the same thing in our First Year,” Remus said, grinning

“I know,” she said irritably, “I was sitting _right there_.”

“Not the best way to start a meal,” James said, and Lily snorted, causing James to grin.

“Understatement.”

**“Sir Nicholas looked extremely miffed, as if their little chat wasn't going at all the way he wanted.”**

“It isn’t,” Sirius said.

**“"Like _this_ ," he said irritably. He seized his left ear and pulled. His whole head swung off his neck and fell onto his shoulder as if it was on a hinge. Someone had obviously tried to behead him, but not done it properly.”**

“Probably for his fashion sense,” Sirius sniggered, and the other three laughed.

“He’s assured me it was the height of fashion back in the day,” James said, and Sirius laughed

**“Looking pleased at the stunned looks on their faces, Nearly Headless Nick flipped his head back onto his neck, coughed, and said, "So - new Gryffindors! I hope you're going to help us win the house championship this year? Gryffindors have never gone so long without winning. Slytherins have got the cup six years in a row!”**

“NO!” the four of them gasped.

“That’s _ridiculous!_ ” James squeaked

“Anyone but Slytherin,” Sirius groaned.

“I have a feeling they’ll win it this year,” Remus said.

“Obviously,” Lily said, rolling her eyes.

**“The Bloody Baron's becoming almost unbearable - he's the Slytherin ghost."**

**Harry looked over at the Slytherin table and saw a horrible ghost sitting there, with blank staring eyes, a gaunt face, and robes stained with silver blood. He was right next to Malfoy who, Harry was pleased to see, didn't look too pleased with the seating arrangements.”**

The boys snickered devilishly as Lily shook her head, grinning.

“He had it coming,” she said, and the boys nodded, still sniggering.

“I wish I was there to see his face,” Sirius sighed wistfully.

**“"How did he get covered in blood?" asked Seamus with great interest.”**

“Boys,” Lily muttered.

“I resent that,” Sirius said

“You asked the _same question_ ,” Remus said, and Sirius flushed as Lily grinned at him with an I-told-you-so expression on her face.

“Whose side are you on?” Sirius hissed, and Remus shrugged

“James’,” he said, and James grinned cheekily at Sirius, who threw him a nasty look.

**“"I've never asked," said Nearly Headless Nick delicately.”**

“That would be the first thing I asked,” Sirius said, and James and Remus exchanged a look while Lily rolled her eyes.

**“When everyone had eaten as much as they could, the remains of the food faded from the plates, leaving them sparkling clean as before. A moment later the desserts appeared. Blocks of ice cream in every flavor you could think of, apple pies, treacle tarts, chocolate eclairs and jam doughnuts, trifle, strawberries, Jell-O, rice pudding…”**

“Lily,” Sirius started coaxingly, but Lily shook her head

“You _just_ had two treacle tarts,” she said, “you’ll have to wait until the end of the chapter and go get it yourself,” she said sternly

“I could just call her,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him.

“I’ll ask her not to listen to you.”

“Damn,” Sirius said quietly, as Lily smiled smugly and James and Remus snickered.

**“As Harry helped himself to a treacle tart, the talk turned to their families.**

**"I'm half-and-half," said Seamus. "Me dad's a Muggle. Mom didn't tell him she was a witch 'til after they were married. Bit of a nasty shock for him."”**

“That’d be _so_ funny!” Sirius wheezed through his laughter. James and Remus were laughing as well. Lily, on the other hand, looked kind of sad.

“What’s wrong with Lily?” Remus asked, turning to Lily, who raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why’s Remus referring to Lily in the third person?” she asked, and Remus shrugged, grinning sheepishly

“Remus was wondering what the answer to that question was,” he said, and Lily sighed as James and Sirius exchanged one of those ‘my friend is an idiot’ looks.

“Severus’ parents are the same,” she said, and the boys eyebrows shot up

“Snapes a half blood?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded, “I never knew that”

“You wouldn’t,” she mused, “He’s probably telling everyone he’s a pureblood,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Sounds very Slytherin-esque,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled.

**“The others laughed.**

**"What about you, Neville?" said Ron.**

**"Well, my gran brought me up and she's a witch," said Neville, "but the family thought I was all-Muggle for ages.”**

“Shocker,” Sirius whispered, and Lily shot him an irritated look as James covered a chuckle with a cough and Remus rolled his eyes.

**“My Great Uncle Algie kept trying to catch me off my guard and force some magic out of me - he pushed me off the end of Blackpool pier once, I nearly drowned”**

“Lovely,” Lily said, as the boys laughed.

“You have to admit, it’s kind of funny,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head

“I don’t find drowning funny,” she said, and the boys stopped laughing immediately.

“It’s not the drowning-“

“I know,” Lily shrugged, and the boys exchanged confused glances. She was a very confusing girl.

**“- but nothing happened until I was eight. Great Uncle Algie came round for dinner, and he was hanging me out of an upstairs window by the ankles when my Great Auntie Enid offered him a meringue and he accidentally let go.”**

“How could you accidentally let go?” Lily shrieked, as the boys looked at the book in disgust.

“You’re holding an eight year old out the window by his ankle? And you let go?” James asked, disgust plain on his features

“At least he reacted,” Sirius muttered

“Still! That’s so stupid!” Remus hissed.

“Agreed,” Sirius said, nodding solemnly.

**“But I bounced - all the way down the garden and into the road. They were all really pleased, Gran was crying, she was so happy. And you should have seen their faces when I got in here - they thought I might not be magic enough to come, you see. Great Uncle Algie was so pleased he bought me my toad."”**

“So _that’s_ why he loves that toad so much,” James said, chuckling

“I don’t know mate, it’s still a toad,” Sirius said, and James shrugged

“At least we know it has sentimental value.”

“I guess, still, it’s a toad”

“Point duly noted.”

**“On Harry's other side, Percy Weasley and Hermione were talking about lessons (“I _do_ hope they start right away, there's so much to learn, I'm particularly interested in Transfiguration, you know, turning something into something else, of course, it's supposed to be very difficult-"; "You'll be starting small, just matches into needles and that sort of thing-”).”**

“Discussing lessons? At the dinner table? Before the year has even _started_?” Sirius asked, his expression lined with even more disgust with each passing question

“I know,” James said sympathetically, winking at Lily, who flushed, which was noticed by Remus, who grinned into his hand.

**“Harry, who was starting to feel warm and sleepy, looked up at the High Table again. Hagrid was drinking deeply from his goblet. Professor McGonagall was talking to Professor Dumbledore. Professor Quirrell, in his absurd turban, was talking to a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin.”**

“No!” the Marauders gasped. Lily blinked rapidly.

“He wouldn’t come back!” she gasped.

“I thought for sure he’d join ranks with Voldemort!” James said

“Me too!” Lily said, nodding violently, “Why on _earth_ would he come back to teach?” she squeaked, and the boy shrugged, bewildered. Suddenly, Sirius’ expression darkened

“Harry’s going to hate Potions,” he muttered, and they turned to him curiously, “Snape’s _obviously_ the Potions Master.”

“Yes, I’ll allow that, but why is he going to hate Potions?” Lily asked, slightly upset that her child didn’t like her one of her favorite subjects.

“I’m not saying he’ll hate _Potions_ , par ce, but he wont enjoy the class,” Sirius said, and James, catching on, snorted irritably

“If he gives him a hard time _just because_ -“

“No!” Lily gasped, “He wouldn’t!”

“Wouldn’t he?” Remus asked skeptically, and Lily sighed

“He would,” she said sadly, “Poor Harry.”

**“It happened very suddenly. The hook-nosed teacher looked past Quirrell's turban straight into Harry's eyes - and a sharp, hot pain shot across the scar on Harry's forehead.”**

“What?” Sirius asked bluntly, looking around at his friends, who looked just as confused.

“Why would his _scar_ hurt?” Lily asked, cocking her head to the side curiously

“Unless-“ Remus said, looking at Lily, who nodded, frowning

“I don’t think so,” she said and Remus shrugged

“I don’t either, it was just a theory,” he said, and Lily nodded

“They have to stop that,” Sirius said, looking at James, who nodded in agreement.

**“"Ouch!" Harry clapped a hand to his head.”**

Sirius snorted, “Who actually _says_ ouch?”

“I don’t know,” Remus chuckled

“Twat,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head.

“Hey,” James said sternly, and Sirius shrugged, grinning cheekily at James.

**“"What is it?" asked Percy.**

**"N-nothing."**

**The pain had gone as quickly as it had come. Harder to shake off was the feeling Harry had gotten from the teacher's look - a feeling that he didn't like Harry at all.”**

“Probably because he doesn’t.” James suggested, and Lily laughed

“No, I don’t think he would,” she mused, “Especially if he looks just like you.”

“Ah, poor sod, didn’t stand a chance” Sirius said, and the other three chuckled.

**“"Who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?" he asked Percy.**

**"Oh, you know Quirrell already, do you?”**

“Obviously,” Sirius muttered.

**“No wonder he's looking so nervous, that's Professor Snape. He teaches Potions, but he doesn't want to - everyone knows he's after Quirrell's job. Knows an awful lot about the Dark Arts, Snape."”**

Lily’s expression darkened, and the boys exchanged wary glances.

**“Harry watched Snape for a while, but Snape didn't look at him again.**

**At last, the desserts too disappeared, and Professor Dumbledore got to his feet again. The hall fell silent.”**

“Isn’t it funny how that happens?” Remus asked amusedly, “He simply has to stand up and everyone suddenly falls silent.”

“Wishing you had that kind of power, Moony?” James teased, and Remus sighed dramatically

“If only.”

**“"Ahem - just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you.**

**"First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well."”**

The Marauders snickered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Obviously, you lot don’t listen,” she said, and the boys grinned at her

“He looks at us _every year_ when he says this,” Sirius chuckled madly.

“What are you going to do?” James teased, and Lily sighed

“Nothing,” she said, shrugging, and the boys grinned

“That’s my girl,” Sirius grinned, and Lily glared at him.

“I am _not_ your girl,” she said, and Sirius pouted

“But we love each other!”

“It’s one sided,” she said, and Sirius sighed

“How long will you keep rejecting my love?”

“We’ll see,” she said, grinning, and James and Remus chuckled.

**“Dumbledore's twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of the Weasley twins.”**

“Typical,” Lily chuckled, her eyes bright

“They’re part of our brotherhood!” Sirius said happily.

“We don’t have a brotherhood,” Remus snorted

“We _are_ a brotherhood, mate,” James said, and Remus sighed.

“Why do I bother?” he mumbled

“No idea,” Lily said honestly, and he grinned at her as James and Sirius pretended to look aghast.

**“"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors.”**

“Nobody listens to that, either,” Sirius said

“Honestly, these notices are a tad pointless,” James said in agreement, and Remus snorted

“They work on _everyone_ , except you lot,” he said, and James and Sirius shrugged.

“Once again, why do you bother arguing with them?” Lily asked, turning to Remus, “I mean, they already think they’re kings of the universe and everything runs their way, there’s really no point dealing with them,” she said and Remus snorted as James and Sirius chuckled.

“You have a point,” Remus said, and Lily smiled smugly.

**“"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch.”**

“Contact her Harry!” James urged, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He’s a _first year_ ,” she said, “he’s never flown a broom and to top it off, First Years _never_ make the house teams,” she said, and James sighed

“So?” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“He knows you’re right,” Sirius said, and Lily smiled

“Thanks ever so much for the translation”

“I won’t always be here to translate, you’ll have to learn sometime,” Sirius said dramatically, and Lily grinned at him as James snorted, shoving his best mate.

**“"And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."”**

“Erm, what?” James asked, frowning

“That’s new,” Sirius said, “I hope Harry ventures there!”

“Did you _not_ hear the ‘painful death’ part?” Lily hissed

“Oh come on, Evans!” Sirius said, “Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“I lost it,” she said bluntly, and James chuckled

“Where?”

“I don’t know,” she retorted, grinning, “I lost it, hence I can’t find it.”

“Thank you for explaining the concept of losing things to me,” James said sarcastically, “What would I do without your careful instruction?”

“Be dead in a gutter somewhere, I’d assume,” she said, and James rolled his eyes, grinning, as his two best friends laughed.

**“Harry laughed, but he was one of the few who did.”**

“That’s alright!” Sirius said cheerfully, “At least you followed the Marauder way!”

“I’m going to choose not to say anything,” Lily said, and Remus grinned

“Join the club,” he said, and Lily giggled.

**“"He's not serious?" he muttered to Percy.**

**"Must be," said Percy, frowning at Dumbledore. "It's odd, because he usually gives us a reason why we're not allowed to go somewhere - the forest's full of dangerous beasts, everyone knows that. I do think he might have told us prefects, at least."”**

“Dumbledore sends his sincerest apologies to you, Pompous Prefect Percy,” James said sarcastically, and Sirius sniggered madly.

“Dangerous beasts,” Sirius said, sending Remus a meaningful look, causing Remus to flush and James to snicker. Lily frowned, but chose not to say anything.

**“"And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" cried Dumbledore.”**

“I _love_ singing the school song!” Sirius said happily

“Because you lot always choose the most ridiculous tune,” Lily laughed

“What do _you_ pick?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged

“I change it every time,” she said

“Wild,” Sirius commented sarcastically, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Remus laughed.

**“Harry noticed that the other teachers' smiles had become rather fixed.”**

“They have,” James said, “Everyone knows only Dumbledore enjoys singing the school song,” he said, and Sirius snickered, nodding.

**“Dumbledore gave his wand a little flick, as if he was trying to get a fly off the end, and a long golden ribbon flew out of it, which rose high above the tables and twisted itself, snakelike, into words.**

**"Everyone pick their favorite tune," said Dumbledore, "and off we go!" And the school bellowed:**

**_Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,_ **

**_Teach us something please,_ **

**_Whether we be old and bald_ **

**_Or young with scabby knees,_ **

**_Our heads could do with filling_ **

**_With some interesting stuff,_ **

**_For now they're bare and full of air,_ **

**_Dead flies and bits of fluff,_ **

**_So teach us things worth knowing,_ **

**_Bring back what we've forgot,_ **

**_Just do your best, we'll do the rest,_ **

**_And learn until our brains all rot.”_ **

Predictably, the Marauders had sung the song, whilst Lily giggled. They were all singing it in different tunes. Sirius had chosen the funeral march. James had chosen opera, and Remus had chosen the super speedy tune.

Sirius finished last, and the three Marauders bowed. Lily laughed, and clapped for them.

“You’re a fantastic audience, Ginger-Flower,” Sirius commented, grinning, and Lily sighed

“Yes, I suppose I am,” she said, “I’ve always loved the lyrics of the school song,” she giggled, and the boys grinned, nodding

“It’s a fantastic school song,” James agreed, “Only Hogwartians would sing about how are brains are going to rot,” he said, and Lily giggled, nodding.

“Hogwartians,” Sirius laughed, “looks like that word's going to stick,” he said, winking at Lily, who laughed.

“Why are you so cheerful?” Remus asked, smirking as he noticed her eyes quickly flash to James.

“Don’t know,” she shrugged, but the way she looked at Remus told him she knew exactly what he was thinking. He couldn’t help but smirk at the fact that she didn’t deny it.

**“Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.”**

The boys laughed, and Lily giggled, shaking her head fondly.

**“Dumbledore conducted their last few lines with his wand and when they had finished, he was one of those who clapped loudest.”**

“As usual,” Remus commented, still smiling from Lily’s subtle admitting to her feelings for James.

“Why are _you_ in such a good mood?” Sirius asked Remus, who looked at Lily, who flushed darkly.

“I’ll tell you later,” he said, and Sirius’ eyes twinkled, catching on to what the subject of the good mood was.

“You better,” he said, looking at Lily, who flushed even deeper.

“Don’t I get to know?” James asked, and Remus grinned

“You’ll find out,” he said, and Lily sighed, closing her eyes, and both Remus and Sirius snickered quietly.

**“"Ah, music," he said, wiping his eyes. "A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!"”**

“People don’t _trot_ ,” Sirius snorted

“Very good Sirius,” Lily said, and the boys snickered at their friend.

**“The Gryffindor first years followed Percy through the chattering crowds, out of the Great Hall, and up the marble staircase. Harry's legs were like lead again, but only because he was so tired and full of food. He was too sleepy even to be surprised that the people in the portraits along the corridors whispered and pointed as they passed, or that twice Percy led them through doorways hidden behind sliding panels and hanging tapestries.”**

“You wont be surprised after a few days there,” James assured him.

“He’s too sleepy to be surprised,” Sirius pointed out

“But he might by surprised the next day,” James said, and Sirius sighed, shrugging

“I’ll give you that.”

**“They climbed more staircases, yawning and dragging their feet, and Harry was just wondering how much farther they had to go when they came to a sudden halt.**

**A bundle of walking sticks was floating in midair ahead of them, and as Percy took a step toward them they started throwing themselves at him.”**

“Peeves,” the four said together, shaking their heads slightly.

“That’s extremely unoriginal of him,” Sirius said, “I’m disappointed.”

“This is Peeves,” Remus said bluntly, “he’s not original.”

“Touché,” Sirius said, “But he’s usually a lot more creative.”

“They’re first years,” James said, “They don’t really know the difference.”

“Once again, touché.”

**“"Peeves," Percy whispered to the first years. "A poltergeist." He raised his voice, "Peeves - show yourself." A loud, rude sound, like the air being let out of a balloon, answered. "Do you want me to go to the Bloody Baron?"”**

“At least he knows to use that as a threat,” Lily said, and the boys looked at her incredulously, “what? I’m allowed to dislike people!”

“What’s he done to irritate you?” James asked amusedly

“He’s pompous and arrogant,” she said

“You should know how much she dislikes these qualities,” Sirius teased, and both Lily and James flushed as Remus burst out laughing.

**“There was a pop, and a little man with wicked, dark eyes and a wide mouth appeared, floating cross- legged in the air, clutching the walking sticks.**

**"Oooooooh!" he said, with an evil cackle. "Ickle Firsties! What fun!" He swooped suddenly at them. They all ducked.”**

“In Peeves’ defense, Firsties are incredibly fun to mess with,” Sirius said.

“Detention, Black,” Lily said in a bored voice, and Sirius snorted

“You don’t mean that.”

“We’ll see,” she winked, and James chuckled

**“"Go away, Peeves, or the Baron'll hear about this, I mean it!" barked Percy.”**

“WOOF!” Sirius barked, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James chuckled, “Come on Lily! Percy’s barking!”

“Oh shut up,” Lily said, a grin on her face.

**“Peeves stuck out his tongue and vanished, dropping the walking sticks on Neville's head. They heard him zooming away, rattling coats of armor as he passed.**

**"You want to watch out for Peeves," said Percy, as they set off again. "The Bloody Baron's the only one who can control him, he won't even listen to us prefects. Here we are."”**

“We’re just _prefects_!” Lily squeaked, and the boys chuckled, “Stop thinking you’re so bloody superior!”

“Calm down Lily,” James chuckled, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“Shut it Potter.”

“Will do, Evans.”

**“At the very end of the corridor hung a portrait of a very fat woman in a pink silk dress.”**

“What’s with your son, and pointing out fat people?” Sirius asked amusedly

“Now this time that isn’t fair,” Lily said, “I mean, she’s called the _Fat_ Lady,” she said, and Sirius sighed

“Duly noted, but still,” he said, and Lily shook her head

“You can pick on it next time, this time it’s rather unfair.”

“FINE EVANS. MERLIN!” Sirius yelled, and Lily smirked as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“Nice to know I have such an effect on you, Black,” she teased

“Alas Evans, you already know I love you,” he said dramatically, and Lily giggled, “You’re not going to say it back?”

“We’ll see,” she said, and Sirius sighed.

**“"Password?" she said.**

**"Caput Draconis," said Percy, and the portrait swung forward to reveal a round hole in the wall. They all scrambled through it - Neville needed a leg up”**

Sirius snickered, “I love first years.”

“You’re a pig,” she said, and Sirius quirked an eyebrow, “No, I don’t know either,” she sighed, and the boys laughed.

**“- and found themselves in the Gryffindor common room, a cozy, round room full of squashy armchairs.”**

“The _best_ squashy armchairs,” Remus sighed, bouncing on his armchair.

“You’re starting to sound like Lily,” Sirius said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“I _like_ this armchair!”

“See,” he said, gesturing to her, and the Marauders laughed, as Lily turned red.

**“Percy directed the girls through one door to their dormitory and the boys through another. At the top of a spiral staircase - they were obviously in one of the towers - they found their beds at last: five four-posters hung with deep red, velvet curtains. Their trunks had already been brought up. Too tired to talk much, they pulled on their pajamas and fell into bed.”**

“What does your dormitory look like?” Sirius asked Lily, who rolled her eyes, “What?”

“Like you haven’t seen the inside of the girls dorms,” she teased, and the boy sniggered, “All of you,” she said, and they all flushed guiltily.

**“"Great food, isn't it?" Ron muttered to Harry through the hangings. "Get off, Scabbers! He's chewing my sheets."”**

“That’s a misbehaved rat,” Sirius said faux sternly

“ _You’re_ a misbehaved rat,” Lily muttered, and the boys laughed

“What’s gotten into you Lily?” James laughed, and Lily shrugged. In all truth, she was nervous for her chat with James at the end of the chapter. Remus, seeming to understand, smiled at her.

“She’ll be fine,” he said, looking at her meaningfully, and Lily smiled sweetly at him

“Thanks Remus,” she said, and he shrugged

“That was _way_ too sincere for this conversation,” James chuckled, and the other three chuckled.

**“Harry was going to ask Ron if he'd had any of the treacle tart, but he fell asleep almost at once.”**

“I know the feeling,” James muttered, rubbing his eyes.

“Why are you rubbing your eyes?” Sirius asked

“For dramatic effect,” James said, grinning cheekily, and Sirius guffawed

“I’ve taught you well,” he said, and James rolled his eyes as Remus and Lily exchanged amused glances.

**“Perhaps Harry had eaten a bit too much,”**

“Not possible,” Sirius said, and the others rolled their eyes.

**“because he had a very strange dream. He was wearing Professor Quirrell's turban, which kept talking to him, telling him he must transfer to Slytherin at once, because it was his destiny. Harry told the turban he didn't want to be in Slytherin; it got heavier and heavier; he tried to pull it off but it tightened painfully - and there was Malfoy, laughing at him as he struggled with it -then Malfoy turned into the hook-nosed teacher, Snape, whose laugh became high and cold - there was a burst of green light and Harry woke, sweating and shaking.”**

“Whoa,” James said awkwardly, looking at his friends and Lily, who had shocked expressions on their faces

“I did not see that coming,” Remus said, shaking his head, “That’s, well, wow.”

“It probably doesn’t mean anything, does it?” Sirius asked, and they all shrugged

“I don’t know,” Lily said honestly, “It is a dream, isn't it? And I mean, it wasn’t Severus who killed us, it was Voldemort, so it cant really be saying anything.”

“That’s a valid point,” James said, nodding.

“Whatever,” Sirius said, “It’s just a dream. Not like he can do anything about it,” he said, and the others nodded in agreement, all of their minds elsewhere.

**“He rolled over and fell asleep again, and when he woke next day, he didn't remember the dream at all.”**

“Well there’s an abrupt end to a dramatic paragraph,” James muttered, and the others laughed.

“What’s the next chapter?” Sirius asked, and James turned the page

“ **Chapter Eight: The Potions Master.”**

“Sounds morbidly entertaining,” Remus said, and Lily giggled.

“Anyways,” Sirius said clapping his hands, “Moony, you have to come up to the dormitories with me,” he said, and Remus nodded.

“Why?” James asked, and Sirius shrugged

“So we can have sex,” he said, and James flushed, and Remus scrunched his nose, as Lily burst out laughing.

“They’re subtly leaving us to our talk,” Lily said, and James laughed, nodding, grinning at the extremely embarrassed Remus, who was glaring at Sirius.

“Shall we?” Sirius asked, gesturing to the dormitories.

“Keep a shield charm up, just in case,” James said to Remus, who chuckled

“Thanks for the advice,” he said sarcastically, and James winked

“Just looking out for you mate.”

“Let’s go,” Sirius said, “Goodbye fair maiden!” he said, “Oh, and bye Lily!” he added, and James scowled as Lily giggled madly. Sirius and Remus walked up the stairs and Sirius turned to him abruptly, “so what was so good before?”

“Lily was staring at James,” Remus said

Sirius gasped, grinning, “She was?”

“Yes,” Remus grinned, and Sirius punched the air triumphantly, “So what exactly happened before?” Sirius took a deep breath before launching into the story of Lily and James’ kiss.

“You know,” Sirius said, looking towards the door of the dormitory, “We _could_ spy on them,” he said, and Remus gave him a deadpan look, “Please?” Remus looked towards the door of the dormitory, and back at his friends expression, and sighed

“If we must,” he said, winking at Sirius, who grinned. The two opened the door and walked to the foot of the stairs, “Wait,” Remus said, and pulled his wand out. He tapped Sirius on the top of the head, causing the sensation of icy water flowing down from that point, and then himself. When he looked down, it was to see the floor. Perfect.

* * *

 

“So,” Lily said, looking at James, who was looking down at the floor uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry,” James blurted out, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up, “For yelling at you and all,” he said, and Lily smiled.

“I’m sorry too,” she said, and James grinned at her. They sat in an awkward silence for a few seconds, before James cleared his throat

“Look, about the-“

“Yes?” Lily said nervously.

“Well, I mean, I’m sorry, but, I’m not, you know?” he said, and Lily laughed.

“I do,” she said, nodding, and James looked down at the floor uncomfortably. Lily, biting back her nerves, got off the armchair she was sitting on and walked over to sit next to James, “I’m not sorry,” she said, and James’ head snapped up to look at her, “About the, er, kiss,” she said, and a smile spread across James’ face

“Really?” he said, and Lily laughed, looking away from him, a blush rising on her face, “Well, I’m not either,” he said, and Lily grinned, “why did you run?”

“I was scared,” she said, shrugging, and James grinned, “Oh shut up,” she said, shoving him lightly. They were silent for a few seconds, James looking at Lily, and Lily looking down at her hands, “So what happens now?” Lily asked, and James chuckled.

"Now, I ask you out, you say yes, and I snog you senseless," he said, "Evans, will you go out with me?" he asked teasingly

"No," Lily said, eyes twinkling mischievously

James chuckled, "Ah well, I'm still going to snog you senseless," he said, and Lily giggled as James leaned towards her and proceeded to do exactly that.

"You should know," Lily said pulling away from him, her eyes glinting with happiness, "I still love Sirius the most."

"I'll try and get past that," James chuckled, leaning towards her again, when-

"I _knew_ it!"

* * *

**Hey all! There’s the next chapter.**

**HAPPY FANFICCING!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!!! I would _really_ appreciate it.**


	9. The Potions Master

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to the one and only JK Rowling, who, by the way, is not me.**

* * *

**This chapter is dedicated to my dad for his 50 th Birthday. Love you!**

* * *

“Were you _spying_?” James asked, highly scandalized, looking around at the sound of his friend. Lily looked around and pulled out her wand, before waving it. With a popping sound, Remus and Sirius appeared, standing by the stairs of the dormitories. They looked at each other, and then down at themselves, before screaming and running up the stairs.

“Charming,” Lily commented, looking after them, and James snorted, shaking his head in amusement.

“Some friends,” he said, and Lily giggled. She looked down into her lap and heard James chuckle, “So you’re not looking at me now?”

“Er,” Lily said, looking up at him, to see his face only a few inches away from hers. He was grinning, "I am now," she said cheekily, grinning at him, and he rolled his eyes, an amused smile threatening to take over his face. He stood up and held his hand out, and Lily frowned at him, "Where are we going?" she asked worriedly, looking at his proffered hand as if it was going to strangle her.

"To murder my friends, interested?" he asked, and Lily giggled. She stood up and James glared at her, "The hand was there for a reason, Evans."

"I'm perfectly capable of standing up by myself thanks," she said, raising her eyebrows at him as if daring him to challenge her. Which, of course, being James, he did.

"That's not the point of the hand though," he said, waving his hand in front of her face

"Oh, then what is the point of the hand?" she asked, and James grinned. He grabbed her small hand in his.

"That, love, is the point of the hand," he said, squeezing her hand a little, and Lily laughed, squeezing his hand back, "Is that the best you can do?" he asked, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him, causing him to grin happily

"Don’t push it."

"Or what?" he asked excitedly, as the two started to make their way to the stairs leading to the boys dormitories

"I'll retract my hand, Potter," she said, and James snorted

"Doubtful."

"I will!"

"Then why haven’t you?" he challenged, winking at her, and Lily flushed.

"Shut up," she said bluntly, and James laughed.

"You astound me with your witty comebacks," he said teasingly, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him, "My point exactly," he laughed. Lily huffed, and attempted to pull her hand out of his, but he squeezed it tightly

"That's unfair!" she protested, and James shrugged

"I never said I would play fair, love. I’ve been waiting a while now to hold your hand so I’m not likely to let it go anytime soon, I assure you," he said, and Lily felt a pink blush creep up onto her face.

"You're incorrigible," she said bluntly, and saw James smile out of the corners of her eyes

"And?"

"I hate you."

"Oh, do you really?"

"Yes," she said bluntly, and James laughed

"Lil, why would you hate someone who can do this?" he asked, and kissed her. Lily rolled her eyes as he pulled away, obviously very proud of himself, "Still hate me?"

"Yes," she said bluntly, "That was less that satisfactory," she said stiffly, and James snorted

"I don’t believe you, I am an excellent snog," he said defensively, and Lily laughed

"Arrogant git," she said, and James grinned widely at her.

"But I’m _your_ arrogant git," he said, and Lily snorted

"That was, by far, the cheesiest thing you've ever said to me, and that includes the line you used on me in second year," she said, and James flushed darkly at this reference

"I was _twelve_ Evans, you shouldn't be so hard on me," he said, pouting, and Lily shrugged, causing him to huff irritably, "I didn’t take advice from Moony for a year after that," he muttered, and Lily laughed

"What was the line again?" she teased, and James groaned, closing his eyes as if trying to rid himself of this misery, "Lily, you make me feel silly-"

"With love, yes," he said bitterly, and Lily giggled, squeezing his hand, "Pathetic."

"Hey," she said, nudging him, "Only I’m allowed to call you pathetic."

"Because I’m your boyfriend?" he asked, and Lily could see the hopeful spark in his yes

"You were, before you started teasing me," she said, and James grinned.

"I take it back," he laughed, and Lily shook her head stubbornly, "Fine, if I murder my friends will you reinstate me as your boyfriend?" he asked, gesturing to the door to their dormitory

"But the love of my life is in there!" she gasped, and James rolled his eyes, fighting a smile.

"Now I’m definitely going to murder them," he muttered, pushing the door open, and Lily giggled. He looked back at her and she shook her head.

"I don’t think it would be good for our relationship if I watch you murder your two best friends," she said dramatically, and James smirked

"We're in a relationship?" he asked, and Lily flushed

"Unfortunately so," she replied somberly, and winked at the glaring James before turning on her heel and walking down the stairs

"I'll get you back for that!" he yelled after her, and heard her tinkling giggle, causing him to smile. He shut the door and turned to face the dormitory, his friends nowhere in sight. He pulled his wand out, " _Homenum revelio_ ," he muttered, and grinned, "I know you're both in here," he called out. He looked towards Remus' bed, since he was deciding to kill Remus first, making his death quick and painless, and then dealing with Sirius, who would be dying a slow and painful death for stealing Lily's heart. James snorted at his own wit, "Moony," he called out coaxingly.

He walked over to Remus' bed and pulled the hangings away. It was empty, which he had expected. He doubted his friend was stupid enough to hide on his bed. He looked under the beds and then walked into the bathroom. He pulled the shower curtains aside and was greeted by a shriek as Remus cowered away from him. .

"I'm sorry!" Remus squeaked, holding his head.

" _Wingardium Leviosa_ ," he said, and Remus, with a yell, floated into the air.

"No! Put me down!" Remus squeaked, thrashing around wildly. This obviously had no effect on James, who grinned happily and directed his friend towards the dorm where the beds were, 'accidentally' knocking him into the walls, "Watch it!" Remus squeaked, as his backside collided with the doorframe leading from the bathroom.

Not saying a word, James walked over to Sirius' bed and pulled the hangings aside, knowing that Sirius actually _was_ stupid enough to hide on his bed. Sirius, of course, as predicted, was on his bed, hiding under the covers. James dropped Remus on top of Sirius, emitting a loud squeak of terror from the lump on the bed and a yell from Remus.

"That was uncalled for," Sirius squawked, reappearing from under the covers, "Fancy seeing you here, Moony," he added, winking at Remus, who was lying next to him on the bed. Remus was not amused.

"So," James said, crossing his arms, and both Sirius and Remus turned to him, identical looks of terror on their faces, "You were spying," he said bluntly, and the two hung their heads simultaneously, "You know that I cant simply ignore this," he continued, and Sirius whimpered. An evil smile spread across James' face.

* * *

Lily looked up from the letter she was writing to Alice on the topic of her and James' new found relationship, which she would probably be receiving a howler for, to see James sauntering into the room, a satisfied expression on his face.

"Dead, then?" she asked, and James smirked

"Worse," he said, and Lily turned towards the stairs as Remus and Sirius walked down miserably. She burst out laughing

Remus had pink hair

Sirius had green hair

Both of them looked close to tears

"Why, don’t you two look dashing," she said teasingly, grinning at the two irritated boys. Sirius sniffled, "Why are they so upset?" she asked James, who grinned nastily. She got up from where she was sitting by the windows and made her way over to the armchairs where they had been sitting. She made to sit down on her favorite armchair, but James grabbed her arm and pulled her down onto the sofa beside him.

"I may or may not have hidden Remus' chocolate and Sirius' frog," he said nonchalantly, and Lily laughed as the two boys shot him looks of pure hatred

"I am never spying on them again," Remus muttered, and Sirius shook his head sadly

"I hope Spot's okay," he sniffed, and Remus threw him a dirty look

"It was your idea to spy," he said irritably, and Sirius glared at him

" _You're_ the one who cast the bloody charm to make us invisible," he muttered, and Remus snorted

"That's hardly-"

"Doesn’t matter whose fault it is," James said, grinning at his irritated best mates, "You both still don’t get your things until tomorrow _and_ you're stuck with your hair until midnight," he said, and they both looked towards the window. It was still light out.

"Are you saying we have to go down to dinner like this?" Remus gasped, and James smiled sweetly.

"So basically you're ending all punishment in time for Christmas," Lily said, and James nodded happily

"Nobody should be miserable on Christmas," he said, "If this had happened the day after Christmas," he said, trailing of, a nasty grin on his face.

"Thank Merlin it didn’t," Sirius sighed, and Lily giggled as Remus touched his hair, wincing slightly at the sheer pinkness of it.

"Let's just read," Remus said morosely. He picked the book up and opened it to the next chapter, clearing his throat.

"I can’t take you seriously with that hair mate," Sirius said, and Remus threw him a nasty look as Lily and James sniggered.

**"Chapter Eight: The Potions Master"**

"So, that's Snape, right?" Sirius asked, and Remus threw him an irritated look. Lily giggled, and James smiled at her, pulling her onto his lap.

"I'm sure she can sit by herself," Remus said, and James shot him a hard look, causing Remus to instantly grab his hair.

"I believe Remus has a point," an amused Lily said, tapping James' arms, but he only tightened them around her stomach.

"Good luck with him," Sirius snorted, and James whipped his wand out, "I JOKE!" he squawked, hiding his hair in his hands.

"See, I have power," James said, tucking his wand back into his pocket as Lily snorted.

**""There, look.""**

Sirius turned around, and the other three burst out laughing

"Look where? At what?" he asked, turning to Remus, who smirked

"I was reading you twat," Remus said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him

"You should bleeding  _say_ you're reading!" Sirius hissed, and Remus snorted

"So do you expect him to announce right before he reads?" Lily asked skeptically, grinning at Sirius

"Yes!" he said, "I mean, how hard is it? 'I AM ABOUT TO READ'," Sirius yelled, causing Lily to flinch, James to grin and Remus to jump.

"No you're not," James said, and Lily turned around to shoot him a look of irritation. He grinned at her and kissed her cheek quickly, causing her to giggle.

"Please, do _not_ do that in my presence," Remus said, looking away from them, and both Lily and James grinned

"Sorry my prudish friend," James said, and Remus glared at him as Lily and Sirius laughed

"All prudishness aside," Sirius said, and Lily snorted

"Is that your motto?" she asked, and Remus and James laughed as Sirius turned to wink at Lily.

"All prudishness aside," he repeated, and Lily grinned, "Please do not do those things whilst I’m forced to watch," he said, and Lily grinned.

"Nobody's telling you to watch," she said, and James chuckled, resting his chin on her shoulder and grinning at his best mate, who shook his head fondly.

"Why?" James teased, and Sirius turned to glare at him, before his eyes twinkled madly

"Well, I may be tempted to join in," Sirius said winking at Lily, who turned bright red as Remus snickered. James guffawed and Sirius grinned at him, “Not to mention, that’s the love of my life right there,” Sirius said dramatically.

“I always knew you had a thing for Potter,” Lily said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as the other two roared with laughter.

“I MEANT YOU!” he bellowed, and Lily winked at him.

“For shame wench!” Remus teased, and Lily laughed as James narrowed his eyes at Remus, who bit his lip instantly.

“Honestly Lily, you should know this, we’re bloody soul mates!” Sirius whined, “But our love is forbidden.”

“And why is it forbidden?” Lily asked, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“It’s all James’ fault,” he said, and Lily turned around to throw James a mock glare. James pouted in response, “We should just kill him off.” Sirius, Lily and Remus laughed as James threw Sirius a death glare.

**""Where?""**

"Right there on the sofa," he said, and then flushed as the other three burst out laughing, "SOME WARNING WOULD BE NICE!" he yelled, and Remus grinned.

"Right there on the sofa," James repeated, chuckling.

"We've been over this!" Sirius whined, "You're supposed to announce that you're going to read"

"I am going to read," Remus said dryly, and Sirius grinned at him.

**""Next to the tall kid with the red hair.""**

"Ronald!" Sirius sung, spreading his arms wide, and Lily turned to glare at him

"Sirius, shut up," she said, and Sirius grinned

"Or what?"

"I will curse you into the next century," she said bluntly

"I've always fancied the idea of time travel," Sirius said, eyes twinkling madly, and Remus and James sniggered as Lily threw him a scathing look.

"I hate you," she said irritably, and Sirius winked

"That's not what you said before," he said slyly, and Lily sighed, hiding her face in her hair as James and Remus laughed

"Aren’t you supposed to be on my side, or something?" she asked, turning to James, who blinked.

"I wasn’t aware that being your boyfriend meant I had to stop teasing you," he said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him

"It does entail that, yes," she said, crossing her arms, quirking an eyebrow. James smirked

"Then I guess I can’t be your boyfriend, love," he said, and Lily grinned.

"Fine," she said, and James snorted

"Fine."

"So you're her boyfriend?" Remus asked, and the other three turned to look at him

"No," Sirius said, voice dripping in sarcasm

"I'm sorry, I didn’t know the logistics," Remus muttered, and Lily cocked her head to the side

"We didn’t discuss them actually," she said, and James threw Remus a scathing look to which Sirius snickered.

"Are you going to?" Sirius asked innocently, and Lily nodded, causing James to groan

"I don’t want to have the talk," he whined, burying his face in her shoulder

"Well you'll have to," she said sternly, and James pouted.

"I hate you Remus," he muttered, and Remus grinned

**""Wearing the glasses?"**

"Sadly," James said

"I wonder what life would be like with glasses," Lily mused, bringing her hand up to her face.

"Why?" Remus snorted

"I don’t know, I’m just curious," she said

"Bloody annoying," Sirius said, and they all looked at him curiously

"How would you know that?" James asked, and Sirius grinned

"I do live with you mate," he said, "I know how reliant you are on your glasses. I remember that one incident in, what was it? Fifth year?" he asked, his eyes shining with malice.

"Sirius Black don’t you dare," James growled, and Sirius grinned wickedly

"Do tell," Lily said, leaning towards Sirius, and James gasped as his best friends burst out laughing

"I would love, but I'd rather not have my hair permanently died this awfully unflattering colour any longer than strictly necessary," Sirius said, fingering his lime green locks with a disgusted expression, causing Lily to giggle.

"Maybe tomorrow?" she said, and James made a disparaging noise in the back of his throat

"Of course," Sirius said wickedly, knowing James didn’t have the heart to curse him on Christmas

"Maybe we'll even tell you what his most prized possession is," Remus said, grinning, and James gasped.

"Yes!" Lily squeaked, and James shook his head violently

"Absolutely not."

"I'm afraid that's not your decision to make," Lily said, unwinding James' arms from her middle and grinning at him. She slid off him and moved to the other side of the sofa, resting her head on the armrest, curling her knees up.

"You're lucky I like you," James muttered, and Sirius snorted

"I believe the more appropriate term is lo-"

"Yes, thank you Padfoot," James said, cutting his best mate off, his face a dark shade of maroon. He looked over to see Lily fighting an amused smile and Remus laughing quietly, the book covering his face. Sirius winked at James.

**"Did you see his face?""**

"Attractive, isn’t it?" James said, stroking his face.

"Conceited prick," Lily muttered, and James' jaw dropped as his friends burst out laughing and Lily winked at him.

"Oi!"

"I know," she said, grinning childishly.

"I thought there was no teasing!" he whined, and Lily snorted

"That's completely one-sided," she said, "You're not allowed to tease me, that is all that my rule entails," she said, and James snorted irritably

"That's completely unfair"

"Life’s unfair," she winked, and James rolled his eyes, smiling, as his friends roared with laughter.

**"Did you see his scar?""**

"It's like lightening," Sirius said, "BOOM!"

"Lightening doesn’t go boom," James said, rolling his eyes, "Thunder goes boom"

"Same thing," Sirius said, waving it off

"No it's not!" James squeaked, "First, thunder goes BOOM and then lightening goes PSSHH," he said defensively, flushing as everyone burst out laughing

"Psshh?" Lily said, grinning at him, and James nodded defensively, trying to ignore the fact that his neck was burning and Lily could probably see.

"Well, it does," he said defensively, as he watched Sirius and Remus, both gasping for breath, clutch their stomachs, their laughter starting to sound a bit like sobs now due to their lack of oxygen intake.

"Prongs, that is the singularly most hilarious thing you have ever said," Remus said, and Sirius grinned

"I think it's a close second to the thing from last year," Sirius said, and Remus burst out laughing as James flushed and Lily's eyebrows shot up curiously

"What?" she asked excitedly, and James shook his head vigorously

"Well, mate, I would stop myself, but you have died my hair this inexplicably disgusting colour so I’ll say it anyway," Sirius said, and James groaned

"At least let me leave the room?" he begged, and his two evil best mates shook their heads, obviously enjoying themselves.

“Considering what he’s putting us through with this hair at dinnertime,” Remus said, turning to Sirius, who grinned wickedly

“So, Lily love,” he said, turning to Lily, who sat up excitedly.

“No!” James squawked, looking around frantically for something to throw at his best mate, “I FORBID YOU!”

“Ah, well, that just about does it then, doesn’t it?” Sirius said, grinning evilly, before turning to Lily, “So Prongs here was-“

“NO!”

“Oh bloody _Silencio_ ,” Lily said, pointing her wand at James, whose jaw dropped open as Remus and Sirius burst out laughing. James began to yell obscenities at Sirius, who only winked at his silent rampage and turned back to Lily.

“So, as you know, Prongs has asked you out a multitude of times,” he said, and Lily nodded. James stood up angrily, but Sirius continued to ignore him, Remus looking highly amused at the whole situation, “he came up with these ridiculous plans as to how to ask you out, obviously,” Sirius added, and Lily grinned at James, whose hands clenched into fists. He began to make his way over to Sirius, “So, at the end of one of his bloody long plans, or whatever he wants to call them, he realizes that the rest of us have stopped paying attention,” Sirius said, and James’ eyes narrowed to a dangerous size, “So then when he yells at us about being pricks or whatever, Wormtail asks what happens after his plan,” he said. However, as he opened his mouth to tell Lily James’ reply, the boy in question launched himself onto Sirius, who yelled out and attempted to wrestle the Quidditch Player off him, laughing all the while, “Moony!” Sirius yelled, “Finish the story!”

“Right!” Remus said, and turned to Lily quickly as James attempted to push himself off of Sirius, a feat that was proving difficult, as Sirius had decided to wrap his arms around James so he couldn’t get off. James thrashed wildly against Sirius’ arms, which only caused the other three to grin widely

“Finish before he breaks free,” Lily said urgently, and James began to struggle harder against Sirius’ hold.

“So he spreads his arms and says-“

"And then lads, she will snog me passionately and bear the fruit of my loins!" both Sirius and Remus exclaimed, and James’ body went limp in shock as Lily’s jaw dropped.

“WHAT?” she shrieked, turning to James, who flushed and looked away from her. She looked at Sirius, who nodded, before bursting into fits of hysteric giggles, “I can’t believe you were that- that-“

“Pathetic?” Remus suggested. Lily only giggled harder. Sirius turned to grin at his best mate, who showed him his middle finger before throwing himself moodily back onto the couch. Taking pity on the poor boy, Remus pointed his wand at James, whose voice returned

“I sodding hate you bloody fucking pricky wankers,” he said, and both Sirius and Remus burst out laughing.

“What’s wrong Jamie?” Sirius cooed, grinning widely

“Is Jamie embarrassed?” Remus asked, matching Sirius’ tone.

“You bet your arse I am,” James muttered, looking up at the ceiling. Lily grinned and leaned over, kissing him on the cheek.

“That’s okay,” she grinned as James turned to look at her, “I thought you were pathetic even before they told me that,” she said, and James rolled his eyes as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter, “So,” she said, an amused smile on her face, “Fruit of your loins, was it?” she asked, and James groaned as his friends, once again, burst out laughing

“I was only fifteen!” he groaned.

“Yes, last year,” Sirius said, winking at his flushing best mate.

**"Whispers followed Harry from the moment he left his dormitory the next day.”**

“I know the feeling,” Lily muttered darkly, and the boys snorted

“What about?” Sirius asked curiously

“You lot,” she said, and the boys grinned proudly, “Honestly, it’s not _funny_!”

“When was this?” Remus asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Fourth year.”

“Isn’t that when people thought you were madly in love with Prongs?” Sirius asked, and Lily glared at him.

“Yes,” she said darkly, and the boys chuckled

“That was a good week,” James sighed, and the other two boys snickered as Lily whacked him on the back of the head.

“You’re a terrible person,” she said, and James shrugged

“I did start the rumors,” he muttered to Sirius, who winked.

**“People lining up outside classrooms stood on tiptoe to get a look at him,”**

“People line up outside classrooms?” Sirius asked, bewildered

“That’s so odd! We’ve never done that!” James said, and Lily snorted

“Even if we did do that, you lot wouldn’t be there in time to make it into the line,” she said dryly, and the boys grinned wickedly

“Jealous?” James asked, and Lily shook her head

“This way I don’t have to see you lot,” she said happily, and the three boys pouted

“I thought we were getting so much closer!” Sirius whined, and Lily shrugged

“I’m a great actress,” she said, winking, and the boys laughed.

**“or doubled back to pass him in the corridors again, staring.”**

“Pathetic,” James muttered

“He would know,” Sirius said, turning to Lily, who giggled as James glared at his best mate.

“That’s just mean,” Remus said, and James grinned at him

“Moony, I love you,” James said, and Remus snorted

“If you loved me, you’d change my hair,” he said, and James shrugged

“I don’t love you that much,” he said, and Remus sighed.

“That’s what girls do,” Sirius said suddenly, grinning

“What?” Lily asked

“Double back in corridors to pass us again,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered

“Toerag,” she said irritably, and Sirius grinned

“Wrong person Red, Prongs is right there,” he said, pointing to James, who rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Harry wished they wouldn't, because he was trying to concentrate on finding his way to classes.”**

“Lost little firstie,” Sirius cooed, a wicked expression on his face

“Thank Merlin you lot aren’t at school to confuse him,” Lily said, and the boys snickered

“Didn’t we once send a firstie to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom when they asked us for the way to Potions?” Sirius asked, and Lily’s jaw clenched

“No,” she said bluntly, “I found the poor girl right after you talked to her and sent her in the right direction,” she said, and the boys looked at her incredulously

“Why would you do that?” Sirius asked, wounded

“Because she was a first year!” she said, “And she wasn’t even a Slytherin,” she added, and the boys grinned.

“Would you have helped a Slytherin?”

“Probably,” Lily said, “But I’d make it go the long way.”

“Good girl,” Remus said, and Lily grinned

**“** **There were a hundred and forty-two staircases at Hogwarts: wide, sweeping ones; narrow, rickety ones; some that led somewhere different on a Friday;”**

“I bloody hate those,” Lily muttered, and the boys laughed.

**“some with a vanishing step halfway up that you had to remember to jump.”**

“Wormtail _always_ forgets to jump those!” Remus said, rolling his eyes

“It is ridiculous,” agreed Sirius, “I mean, after six years, you should know to jump a step!”

“Oh leave him alone,” Lily said, and Sirius snorted

“He’s not here love”

“I know,” she said, and Sirius grinned at her

“Perfect Prefect,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed.

**“Then there were doors that wouldn't open unless you asked politely,”**

“I never ask them,” Sirius said

“Then how do you get through?” Lily asked

“Charm and good looks,” he said, winking, and Lily laughed.

“You flirt with the door?” she asked, and Sirius shrugged

“Mans got to do what a mans got to do,” he said wisely, and Lily snorted

“You’re a man?”

“I can prove it,” he said, affronted, as his best friends laughed. He stood up and Lily squeaked, hiding her face in her hands, “I’m insulted! Most girls would _kill_ to be in your position!” he gasped, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“I am _not_ most girls,” Lily said, and Sirius grinned

“I know,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes, “Why do you think I’m trying so hard with you?”

“Because she’s the one you can’t have?” Remus asked amusedly, and Sirius winked, nodding.

“Only one who hasn’t swooned at the sight of me,” he said, and Lily snorted as James rolled his eyes

“So you’re going to get her to swoon, am I correct?” James asked, and Sirius sighed

“No need, she’s already said she loves me,” he said cheekily, throwing himself down on the armchair, and James chuckled as Remus howled with laughter and Lily groaned.

**“or tickled them in exactly the right place,”**

“Like the kitchens,” Sirius stated happily, and the other two boys grinned

“That’s not technically a door,” Lily said, “It’s more like a wall.”

“Does that really matter, love?” Sirius asked, and Lily threw him a hard look

“Don’t call me love.”

“Can’t help it love. If it really bothers you, love, I’ll try and stop it, love. But, love, I’m afraid you may be stuck with it, love,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

**“and doors that weren't really doors at all, but solid walls just pretending.”**

“Rude,” Sirius said dramatically, and Lily giggled

“Please don’t tell me you thought that was funny,” James said, turning to her, an amused smile flickering on her face

“I wont,” she retorted, and James attempted to fight a smile as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Really Lily,” Remus said in mock astonishment. Lily turned towards him and grinned. While Lily wasn’t looking, Sirius leaned forwards, and James, taking it as his cue, leaned towards him.

“I’m happy for you mate,” Sirius whispered, and James grinned widely, “Don’t screw this one up,” he winked, and James threw him a deadpan look. Sirius snickered, winked, and leaned back as Lily turned around.

“Were you two snogging?” she asked bluntly, and James and Sirius paled as Remus burst out laughing.

“Would you be jealous?” James asked, quickly recovering from his shock

“No,” Lily shrugged, and James pouted as Sirius and Remus sniggered, “But I would beg you to let me tell the girls of Hogwarts,” she said, grinning wickedly, and the boys looked at her in astonishment

“Lily Evans, you amaze me every day,” James said, his voice so tender that Lily felt a violent blush creep up on her cheeks.

“I may vomit,” Sirius said after a few seconds of the two staring at each other, and Remus snorted magnificently as Lily and James threw him nasty looks.

**“It was also very hard to remember where anything was, because it all seemed to move around a lot.”**

“You’ll get used to it kiddo,” Sirius said cheerfully, and Lily sighed

“Can you please stop?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“Why would you want that? You love me!” he gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James attempted to cover up their sniggers

“No, I don’t,” she said, and Sirius snorted

“That’s not what you told Prongs when you two were snogging,” he winked, and Lily flushed an attractive shade of purple, James’ complexion close behind hers.

**“The people in the portraits kept going to visit each other, and Harry was sure the coats of armor could walk.”**

“They can,” said James darkly, absentmindedly rubbing his shoulder, causing his friends to snigger

“Do I even want to know?” Lily asked, amusedly regarding her boyfriend.

“How he accidentally missed Sirius and hit the suit of armor with a jinx causing it to chase after him all the way down to the Great Hall where it caught sight of McGonagall and stopped immediately but not after whacking him in the shoulder with the blunt side of it’s axe?” Remus said, “No, you don’t want to know,” he added, as Lily and Sirius burst out laughing and James shot him an amused look.

**“** **The ghosts didn't help, either. It was always a nasty shock when one of them glided suddenly through a door you were trying to open.”**

Predictably, Remus winced uncontrollably and the other three burst out laughing.

**“Nearly Headless Nick was always happy to point new Gryffindors in the right direction,”**

“Obviously,” James muttered, and the other three chuckled

“This is new for him! Don’t be so rude!” Lily chastised, whacking him on the shoulder.

“Sorry dear,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Don-“

“Call you dear, I know,” he said, winking, and Lily threw him a scathing look, “What about love?”

“What about it?” Sirius cut in, and then laughed himself silly as the other three looked at him as if he were losing his mind.

“Okay,” James said, shaking himself and turning back to Lily, smirking.

“You already call me love,” she said irritably, crossing her arms, acting as if Sirius’ outburst had never happened, “Even if I tell you to stop you wont.”

“Alas, that is the truth,” James said, winking, causing her to flush. Remus cleared his throat awkwardly.

**“but Peeves the Poltergeist”**

“Ouch,” Remus winced sympathetically.

“Why would you even _bother_ asking him?” James asked, flabbergasted.

**“was worth two locked doors and a trick staircase if you met him when you were late for class. He would drop wastepaper baskets on your head, pull rugs from under your feet, pelt you with bits of chalk, or sneak up behind you, invisible, grab your nose, and screech, "GOT YOUR CONK!"”**

Sirius and James sniggered.

“You’re incorrigible,” Lily said, glaring at the two boys, who looked at each other before turning back to her and bowing grandly

“Thank you for noticing,” James said, winking at her, and Lily rolled her eyes, an amuse smiled playing on her face

“Remember the time when Lily here would yell at Prongs for a comment like that?” Sirius asked Remus, a nostalgic note to his voice, “how time flies,” he said dramatically, and the other three laughed.

“You are ridiculous,” Lily said, and Sirius grinned

“Thank you for noticing,” he said, winking, mimicking James. James snorted.

“Just because she didn’t yell at him doesn’t mean she wont yell at you,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted.

“But that’s unfair! He _snogs_ her!” he hissed, and both Lily and James flushed as Remus grinned evilly.

“Are you intent on embarrassing them today?” Remus asked, and Sirius grinned

“I haven’t had the opportunity to take the mickey yet,” he sighed, and Remus grinned as James groaned and Lily rolled her eyes.

**“Even worse than Peeves, if that was possible, was the caretaker, Argus Filch.”**

“He’s _still_ there?” Sirius asked, bewildered

“Well, where else would he go?” James asked

“That’s true, jobs for squibs are limited,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“They can just work in the Muggle world,” Remus said, and the boys snorted

“Where’s the fun in that?” James asked, and then winked at Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him.

**“Harry and Ron managed to get on the wrong side of him on their very first morning.”**

“Hey! He’s following in your footsteps mate!” Sirius exclaimed happily, and James snorted as Lily threw them dirty looks

“Sirius Black,” she said, and he turned to her, eyes glinting madly, “I should probably remind you that _I_ haven’t done anything to you for spying yet,” she said, and Sirius’s expression fell almost comically.

“But _Lily_!” Sirius whined, falling off the armchair and crawling over to her

“Oh just bugger off,” she laughed, kicking him away when he tried to give her a hug, James and Remus laughing.

**“Filch found them trying to force their way through a door that unluckily turned out to be the entrance to the out-of-bounds corridor on the third floor.”**

The four of them grimaced

**“He wouldn't believe they were lost, was sure they were trying to break into it on purpose, and was threatening to lock them in the dungeons when they were rescued by Professor Quirrell, who was passing.”**

“That’s kind of uncalled for,” Lily said, frowning slightly, “It’s their first day of First Year, I mean, it’s understandable that they’re lost,” she said, and the boys shrugged

“If he looks like James, you really think Filch is going to believe them?” Remus asked, and James smiled smugly as Lily snorted.

“Point,” she said. Sirius lifted his arm and pointed forward, “What are you _doing_?”

“I’m pointing,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Sirius erupted in immature man giggles.

“Why am I friends with them?” Remus asked her, and Lily shrugged.

**“Filch owned a cat called Mrs. Norris, a scrawny, dust-colored creature with bulging, lamp like eyes just like Filch's. She patrolled the corridors alone. Break a rule in front of her, put just one toe out of line, and she'd whisk off for Filch, who'd appear, wheezing, two seconds later.”**

“I never understood the connection between Filch and his cat,” James said, and the other three frowned

“I don’t either,” Remus said, looking genuinely perplexed, “How does he know?”

“Doubt we’ll ever find out,” Lily sighed, and the boys grimaced.

**“Filch knew the secret passageways of the school better than anyone”**

“I respectfully disagree,” Sirius said, smiling slyly, and the other two Marauders smirked.

**“(except perhaps the Weasley twins)”**

The boys grinned, “Ah, our successors,” James said, pretending to wipe a tear away.

“Bless them,” Sirius sniffed, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus roared with laughter.

**“and could pop up as suddenly as any of the ghosts. The students all hated him, and it was the dearest ambition of many to give Mrs. Norris a good kick.”**

“I’ve done that!” Sirius announced

“We know,” James muttered grumpily

“That was the only time I’ve ever seen Filch that angry,” Remus muttered, and the boys shuddered.

“What did he do?” Lily asked, grinning.

“A month of detentions, every night except Quidditch nights, for Sirius,” Remus said, and Sirius scowled

“You forgot to mention that I was under his service during those detentions,” he muttered, and Lily grinned, “It’s not funny Evans!”

“Quite the contrary Black, it’s hilarious,” she winked, and Sirius’ mouth twitched as James and Remus snickered.

**“** **And then, once you had managed to find them, there were the classes themselves. There was a lot more to magic, as Harry quickly found out, than waving your wand and saying a few funny words.”**

“Why would you think that in the first place?” James asked, looking positively baffled

“He grew up a muggle,” Lily said, rolling her eyes

“Merlin, is that what Muggles think magic is?” Sirius gasped, and Lily nodded, “WHY?”

“Well, what else are they supposed to think it is?” Lily asked, and Sirius grimaced.

“Valid point you’ve got there, Ginger-Flower,” he said, and winked as Lily’s jaw fell open

“That’s back?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“It was never gone, love,” he winked and Lily groaned, hiding her face in her hands, as James and Remus chuckled.

“Make it stop,” she whined, looking at James, who grinned wickedly

“What’ll you give me if I do?” he challenged, and Lily scowled at him, turning away with a huff as the three boys sniggered

“Oh Merlin,” Remus groaned, and they looked at him, “This is going to be a long and boring paragraph,” he said, and they all grimaced

“Try not to interrupt,” Lily said and Sirius snorted

“But it’s _boring_ ,” he said, “Interruptions will make it more interesting!”

“If you dot interrupt it’ll go be faster,” she said, and Sirius sighed

“Alas, that is the truth. Alright, fine, no interruptions until the paragraph is over,” he said, and Lily sighed

“Chapter?” she asked hopefully, and Sirius shot her a deadpan look, “didn’t think so,” she sighed, and the boys grinned.

**“They had to study the night skies through their telescopes every Wednesday at midnight and learn the names of different stars and the movements of the planets. Three times a week they went out to the greenhouses behind the castle to study Herbology, with a dumpy little witch called Professor Sprout, where they learned how to take care of all the strange plants and fungi, and found out what they were used for.”**

“That’s it?” Sirius asked, bewildered, “When you said long I was expecting, like,”

“Long?” James suggested, and Sirius grinned

“Yes, thanks mate,” he said sarcastically, and James chuckled

“That’s not the end of the boring part,” Remus said bitterly, “I was just pausing.”

“Well, we can still make interruptions,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily let out a squeak, “I never promised, love,” he winked, and she rolled her eyes

**“Easily the most boring class was History of Magic,”**

“Hear hear,” Sirius said, raising an invisible glass,

“Agreed,” James said, nodding.

“At least he’s not a swot, and enjoys it,” Sirius said, shuddering violently

“Like Lily,” Remus said, winking at Lily, who huffed angrily as Sirius and James laughed

“I’ll have you know I absolutely detest that class,” she said, and the boys eyebrows shot up

“Lily Evans? Detesting a class?” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Now that’s not fair,” James said, “She hated Divination, remember?” he asked, grinning at her, and Lily flushed

“How could I not? What, with her accidentally throwing a Crystal Ball across the room,” he said dramatically, and Lily’s flush deepened.

“Can we just forget about that?” she asked feebly, and the boys shook their heads, identical mischievous grins on their faces.

**“which was the only one taught by a ghost. Professor Binns had been very old indeed when he had fallen asleep in front of the staff room fire and got up next morning to teach, leaving his body behind him. Binns droned on and on while they scribbled down names and dates, and got Emetic the Evil and Uric the Oddball mixed up.”**

“Who?” Sirius asked, and they all laughed

“I don’t remember _any_ of that,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head

“And you somehow managed to get an E on that OWL,” James said, shaking his head

“As did you,” Sirius said, and James rolled his eyes

“How that happened, I will never know,” he said, and Sirius chuckled

“Join the club.”

**“Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher, was a tiny little wizard who had to stand on a pile of books to see over his desk.”**

“Maybe we should invest in a stack of books for Ginger-Flower here,” he said, and Lily’s jaw dropped as the boys roared with laughter

“I’m not short!” she squeaked

“Yes, my dear, you are,” Sirius said

“You’re all just bloody giants!” she countered, and the boys grinned

**“At the start of their first class he took the roll call, and when he reached Harry's name he gave an excited squeak and toppled out of sight.”**

“Poor guy,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head

“Who? Flitwick or Harry?” Remus asked, and Sirius shrugged

“Both.”

“Why both?” Lily asked, and Sirius grinned at her

“Flitwick because it’ll take him a while to get all the way up there,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the Marauders laughed, “And Harry because he’s being squeaked over, at only eleven!”

“My poor baby,” Lily cooed, tucking her knees under her chin.

“Why is this a bad thing?” James asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Too much attention is _bad_ James,” she said, shaking her head, “he might turn out like you!” she added cheekily, and James gasped as his friends burst out laughing.

**“Professor McGonagall was again different. Harry had been quite right to think she wasn't a teacher to cross.”**

“She’s not,” Remus said

“Challenge accepted,” Sirius winked, and the other three snorted

“Sirius, you accepted that challenge in First Year, you twat,” James said, rolling his eyes

“And?” Sirius asked, and James chuckled

“And nothing,” he said after a few seconds of deliberating whether or not he should pursue the point further.

“Smart move,” Lily whispered to him as Sirius grinned smugly, and James grinned at her. He pretended to take a bow and Lily rolled her eyes, “shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything!” he whispered back indignantly, leaning closer to her, grinning. Lily rolled her eyes, a smile threatening to grow on her face.

“Oi!” Sirius yelled, and they looked at him, “No couple-y things!” he said awkwardly, waving his arms.

“And why not?” James asked, and Sirius flushed, causing Lily to grin.

“Because I’m in love with her!” Sirius retorted, and the other three laughed. James put his arm around Lily and pulled her towards him so she was leaning on his shoulder, his arm around her protectively.

“Mine,” James said, and the other two Marauders laughed as Lily smacked him, giggling.

**“Strict and clever, she gave them a talking-to the moment they sat down in her first class.”**

“Only Minnie dearest,” Sirius sighed dramatically.

“Don’t tell me you’re shocked!” Remus gasped, amusement visible on his features.

**“** **"Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts," she said.”**

“Dangerous?” Sirius said, eyebrows flying up, “How is it dangerous?”

“It’s dangerous if you go wrong,” James said, watching as Lily, who was leaning on him, played with her hair.

“Why?” Sirius asked, and James turned to him, exasperated.

“What if you did something wrong? If you ended transfiguring something permanently?” James asked, and Sirius looked at him in bewilderment, “And what about Animagus transformations? That’s mostly Transfiguration! Those are terrible if they go wrong!” he added, and Sirius snorted.

“So about an hour of dating Lily, and you’re a swot?” he asked, an amused smile on his face. Lily flushed.

“That’s an uncalled-for jibe at me,” Lily mumbled, and Sirius grinned at his best mate’s insulted expression

“What? No defense for me?” he asked her, and Lily grinned up at him. James felt the urge to swoop down and kiss her again.

“Nope,” Lily said, and James gave her shoulder a playful squeeze.

“I’ll get you for that,” he said, and Lily giggled

“That’s the second time you’ve said that today,” she said, and James winked.

“He’ll get you twice,” Sirius said, and then his face paled as everyone laughed, “Oh Merlin, I cannot believe I just- Oh Merlin,” he groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

“Should I keep reading?” Remus asked amusedly

“Stop laughing at me,” Sirius grumbled, “your hair is _pink_.”

“Yours is green!” Remus shot back, his face turning the colour of his hair.

“Pink is worse,” Sirius deadpanned, and Remus huffed angrily

“Why did you make _my_ hair pink?” Remus asked James, who shrugged.

“Green isn’t your colour,” Lily said seriously, and James and Sirius guffawed as Remus threw her a nasty look.

“It’s not your colour either,” he mumbled, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Quite the contrary, green matches my eyes,” she said, and grinned as Remus fought a smile and the other two boys laughed.

**“"Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned."”**

“Wonder why she hasn’t kicked us out then,” Sirius mused, and the others laughed

“I’m surprised she passed you lot for her NEWT level class,” Lily said amusedly, and the boys grinned

“She’d miss us too much otherwise,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling.

**“Then she changed her desk into a pig and back again.”**

“That’s abrupt,” Sirius snorted, and the others laughed.

 **“They were all very impressed and couldn't wait to get started, but soon realized they weren't going to be changing the furniture into animals for a long time.** **After taking a lot of complicated notes, they were each given a match and started trying to turn it into a needle.”**

“I did that!” James said happily

“We all did,” Remus snorted

“I meant on the first day,” James winked, and Lily shoved him

“I hate you,” she said, and James grinned down at her

“Do you really?” he asked, and Lily nodded stubbornly, “I’ll prove you wrong,” he said, and leaned towards her, kissing her lightly

“STOP!” Sirius yelled, throwing a pillow at the kissing couple.

“Honestly Sirius,” Lily said, turning to him, a goofy smile on her face, “You’re the one with the reputation to make a prostitute blush,” she said, and Sirius’ jaw fell as the other two howled with laughter.

“That’s uncalled for!” Sirius squeaked, “Besides, it doesn’t relate”

“Of course it does,” said Lily, “It’s a hypocritical situation. You’re the one always doing these things, nastily if I may add,” she said, and Sirius grinned wickedly as his friends snickered, “Yet you cant watch anybody else do it,” she said, and Sirius shrugged

“Not when it’s my best mate snogging the girl of my dreams,” he said dramatically, and Lily giggled as James rolled his eyes and Remus snorted.

“ **By the end of the lesson, only Hermione Granger had made any difference to her match; Professor McGonagall showed the class how it had gone all silver and pointy and gave Hermione a rare smile.”**

“She’s smiled at me before,” James said proudly, and the other boys snorted

“Before she realized your Marauding ways,” Lily said, and James’ jaw fell as the other boys laughed.

**“** **The class everyone had really been looking forward to was Defense Against the Dark Arts, but Quirrell's lessons turned out to be a bit of a joke.”**

“Shocker,” James muttered. Lily slapped his knee, “What? Why are you hitting me?” he asked, shaking his legs, and Lily giggled.

“Because I cannot possibly have you interrupting like he does,” she said, gesturing to Sirius, who glowered at her.

“You know you love it,” he winked, and Lily sighed, burying her face in James’ shirt, “hiding wont help you!”

“Of course it will,” she said, her voice muffled by the cotton shirt. James grinned and kissed the top of her head quickly.

**“His classroom smelled strongly of garlic,”**

“To ward off vampires,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

**“which everyone said was to ward off a vampire he'd met in Romania and was afraid would be coming back to get him one of these days.”**

“Hey!” Sirius said happily, spreading his arms out, and the others laughed.

“Yes, well done mate,” James said, and Sirius grinned at him

“See Lils! I’m the better choice!” he said, and James scowled as Lily giggled.

**“His turban, he told them, had been given to him by an African prince as a thank-you for getting rid of a troublesome zombie, but they weren't sure they believed this story.”**

“Don’t believe it,” Sirius said wisely

“Hagrid said he was brilliant,” Remus pointed out, and Sirius scowled

“It pains me to admit this, but Hagrid was, dare I say it, wrong,” he said, and the others gasped dramatically as Sirius pretended to be ashamed of himself.

**“** **For one thing, when Seamus Finnigan asked eagerly to hear how Quirrell had fought off the zombie, Quirrell went pink and started talking about the weather; for another, they had noticed that a funny smell hung around the turban, and the Weasley twins insisted that it was stuffed full of garlic as well, so that Quirrell was protected wherever he went.”**

The four of them sniggered.

“They’re probably right,” Sirius said, and the others chuckled

“It does seem a fair assumption,” Remus muttered, smiling

“But why didn’t he want to talk about how he fought the zombie?” Lily asked, and the boys shrugged

“Because he didn’t?” James suggested, and Lily shrugged.

“That’s just odd,” she said, “I mean, you’d think Dumbledore would know if he had,” she said, and the boys shrugged

“They’re probably just desperate for a DADA teacher Lils,” Remus said, “I mean, they have a new one, what, every year?”

“I wonder why that is,” Lily mused

“I heard it was cursed,” James said, and Lily snorted

“Legitimately cursed?”

“I don’t know,” James chuckled, and Lily grinned.

“As opposed to what?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed

“The joking kind of cursed; for example, I’m cursed with red hair,” she said, and Sirius chuckled

“I like your hair,” he said, and Lily smiled

“Thanks,” she said.

“I like your hair too!” James insisted

“That’s nice James,” she said indifferently, causing him to gasp, before grinning up at him, “Thanks.”

**“** **Harry was very relieved to find out that he wasn't miles behind everyone else.”**

“You will be if you don’t focus,” Remus said sternly, and they all snorted

“Swot,” Sirius said, and Lily turned to him exasperatedly

“Is that your word of the day?” she asked, and Sirius grinned, winking.

**“Lots of people had come from Muggle families and, like him, hadn't had any idea that they were witches and wizards. There was so much to learn that even people like Ron didn't have much of a head start.**

**Friday was an important day for Harry and Ron.”**

“Oh! Why?” Sirius asked curiously. They all chose to ignore him.

**“They finally managed to find their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast without getting lost once.”**

“Oh, bravo,” Sirius said sarcastically, and the others laughed

“It doesn’t seem complicated now, but it was before, remember?” Lily asked, and Sirius sighed

“I suppose,” he muttered

“Do you have superpowers?” Remus asked incredulously, “Because I have _never_ been able to talk sense into him!”

“I probably do,” Lily said seriously, and they all laughed

“Why can’t you ask if _I_ have superpowers?” James asked, pouting

“Because you usually help him see nonsense, hence, you have no superpowers,” Remus said sternly, and James pouted as Lily grinned.

**“** **"What have we got today?" Harry asked Ron as he poured sugar on his porridge.”**

“He takes sugar on his porridge?” Lily asked, bewildered

“Don’t you?” James asked, and she shook her head violently.

“Do you?” she asked and James shook his head

“My dad does,” he said, “that’s so odd.”

“Maybe he just likes the taste?” Remus asked, and the other two shrugged

“Honestly you two, not _everything_ is genetic!” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh shut up Sirius,” Lily said, flushing, causing the others to laugh,

**“** **"Double Potions with the Slytherins," said Ron.”**

The three Marauders grimaced.

Lily scrunched her nose.

“And Snape’s there!” Sirius said, aghast, “It’s like a repeat! Just with mini-Prongs!”

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” Lily asked, laughing, and Sirius grinned

“Thanks love.”

“Don’t mention it,” Lily said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, as James and Remus laughed.

**“"Snape's Head of Slytherin House. They say he always favors them - we'll be able to see if it's true."”**

“I bet it is,” Sirius muttered

**“"Wish McGonagall favored us, " said Harry.”**

“Well said,” James agreed, nodding his head.

“She does,” Lily said indignantly.

“No she doesn’t,” Sirius snorted

“Maybe not _you_ lot,” she said, “But the rest of the Gryffindors she does.”

“I don’t believe you,” Sirius said, and Lily raised her eyebrows

“Correction, he doesn’t _want_ to believe you,” Remus said, and Lily grinned at him as James laughed and Sirius’ jaw fell.

**“Professor McGonagall was head of Gryffindor House, but it hadn't stopped her from giving them a huge pile of homework the day before.”**

“Never does mate,” Sirius sighed, and the others grimaced

“Well that’s actually not a fair thing to say,” Lily said, playing with the hem of James’ shirt. Yes, it was driving him mad, “I mean, all heads of houses assign their house tons of homework” she said, and Sirius shrugged.

“Doesn’t really matter much, does it?” he asked morosely, and Lily shook her head sadly, still playing with the hem of James’ shirt.

**“** **Just then, the mail arrived. Harry had gotten used to this by now, but it had given him a bit of a shock on the first morning, when about a hundred owls had suddenly streamed into the Great Hall during breakfast, circling the tables until they saw their owners, and dropping letters and packages onto their laps.”**

“I loved the first time mail was delivered,” Remus said, still enamoured by the very memory of that morning.

“I know!” Lily sighed. James had half a mind to grab his shirt from her small hands, the other half of his mind enjoying the way she was playing with it.

“Were you shocked, as a muggle and all?” Sirius asked amusedly, and Lily nodded her head vigorously.

“Bloody frightening,” she muttered, and the boys chuckled.

**“** **Hedwig hadn't brought Harry anything so far. She sometimes flew in to nibble his ear”**

“Oh la la,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him.

“That wasn’t even funny,” Remus said dully, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“How can I be funny whilst watching him hold the woman I love?” Sirius asked, gesturing to James, who chuckled.

“ **and have a bit of toast before going off to sleep in the Owlery with the other school owls.”**

“Whore,” James muttered, and Lily burst out laughing, as did the other two

“SEE? He has _everything_ ,” Sirius said dramatically, and James winked at him as Lily rolled her eyes.

**“This morning, however, she fluttered down between the marmalade and the sugar bowl and dropped a note onto Harry's plate.”**

“Woo!” Sirius said

“Aw, Harry has _friends_ ,” Remus sniffed, and Lily threw him a nasty look, causing him to grin.

“Not you too!” she whined, “I thought you were the good one!”

“Oi!” James said, and Lily grinned at him before turning back to Remus

“I was,” he said sadly, “I was turned over to the dark side.”

“What _happened_ Remus?” James gasped dramatically

“Some wanker died my hair pink,” he muttered, and James grinned as Lily and Sirius roared with laughter.

**“Harry tore it open at once.”**

“Ha!” Lily said happily, shoving James.

“What?” he asked, bewilderment flooding his features, as well as the features of his friends.

“Ripping is better,” she said happily.

“I’m sorry?” James asked, looking down at the girl as if she were going insane.

“You don’t rip your wrapping paper,” she said exasperatedly, and Sirius and Remus burst out laughing as James raised his eyebrows amusedly

“ _How_ did you think of that?” he asked, and Lily shrugged, flushing slightly as the other two Marauders hadn’t stopped laughing.

“I don’t know!” she squeaked, hiding behind a curtain of fiery red hair. James laughed and kissed her temple.

“Read,” he said to Remus, who, noticing Lily’s embarrassment, sighed and opened the book. Lily grinned up at James, who winked at her, causing her stomach to do all sorts of funny things.

**“It said, in a very untidy scrawl:”**

“Rude,” Sirius scoffed

“Are you insulted?” Lily asked, and Sirius quirked an eyebrow

“Why, my dear, would I be insulted?” he asked and Lily shrugged

“Considering your handwriting resembles that of a three year old,” she said, and Sirius scowled at her cheeky face as Remus and James laughed.

“My handwriting is _not_ messy,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Okay Sirius.”

**_Dear Harry,_ **

**_I know you get Friday afternoons off, so would you like to come and have a cup of tea with me around three?_ ** ****

**_I want to hear all about your first week. Send us an answer back with Hedwig._ ** ****

**_Hagrid_ ** **”**

“That’s so nice of him!” Lily said happily. James looked down in disappointment, noticing that she had stopped playing with his shirt.

“It is!” Sirius said happily, grinning like a fool.

“Us?” Remus asked, frowning, “Who’s us?” he asked Lily, who shrugged

“I guess it’s just how Hagrid talks. Us probably just means him,” she explained, and Remus scrunched his nose.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered, and the other two Marauders sniggered

“Ah, Remmy, is the grammar bothering you?” James teased, and Remus stuck his nose in the air.

“Bugger off,” he said irritably, and the two other Marauders grinned at each other as Remus angrily looked for where he had left off.

 **“Harry borrowed Ron's quill, scribbled _Yes, please, see you later_ on the back of the note, and sent Hedwig off again.** **It was lucky that Harry had tea with Hagrid to look forward to, because the Potions lesson turned out to be the worst thing that had happened to him so far.”**

“Damn Snivellus,” James muttered, and then froze, realizing that Lily was still leaning on him. He looked down at her warily to see her looking at Remus.

“He wouldn’t be _that_ cruel, would he?” she asked, a pleading tone to her voice

“I think he would,” Remus said irritably

“Harry is the offspring of James, after all,” Sirius said, and Lily huffed, running her hand through her thick auburn hair, pushing it out of her face.

“Damn it James,” she said, and James chuckled, feeling his stomach flip as she played with the end of his shirt again.

**“** **At the start-of-term banquet, Harry had gotten the idea that Professor Snape disliked him. By the end of the first Potions lesson, he knew he'd been wrong.”**

“What?” Sirius said, flabbergasted.

“That’s, not what I expected,” Lily said, frowning.

“Snape, _likes_ him?” Remus asked, positively baffled.

“I-it doesn’t seem _possible_ ,” James said, frowning.

“No, it really doesn’t,” Sirius said, “Unless he saw Harry as Lily’s rather than yours,” he said, and James frowned

“Doubtful,” Lily said, shaking her head, “he supposedly looks exactly like James,” she said, “How could he think of _me_ if the child looks like _him_?” she asked, and they all shrugged

“He has your eyes,” James said, and Lily waved it off.

“That’s only a small feature”

“But they’re very vibrant,” Sirius said, “Not hard to miss.”

“Er, thanks,” Lily said awkwardly, and Sirius grinned at her as Remus laughed and James rolled his eyes fondly.

“They’re the same colour as my hair,” Sirius said, and they all burst out laughing.

“No, Lily, your eyes are a far more attractive shade of green,” James said, and Lily sighed in faux-relief

“Thank _Merlin_ ,” she said, clutching her heart, “I’d have to permanently close my eyes if that were true,” she said, and the boys laughed

“I’ll give you that,” Sirius said, nodding his head, “This is the most disgusting shade of green imaginable,” he muttered, flicking a lock of his lime green hair

“Hey now!” Remus said, “I _like_ the colour lime green!”

“WHAT?” Sirius bellowed, “But it’s _gross_!”

“No it’s not!”

“Yes, it is.”

“No!”

“Yes!

“No!

“Yes!”

“Boys!” Lily yelled, clapping her hands, “Enough.” She said it sternly enough to effectively shut them up, and James grinned down at her.

**“Snape didn't dislike Harry - he hated him.”**

“Ah,” Sirius said, nodding.

“That makes much more sense,” James said, nodding as well.

“At least we know the universe’s cosmic balance hasn’t been upset,” Remus said seriously, and they all laughed.

**“** **Potions lessons took place down in one of the dungeons. It was colder here than up in the main castle, and would have been quite creepy enough without the pickled animals floating in glass jars all around the walls.”**

“What pickled animals?” Sirius squeaked, his eyes wide

“Snape’s taken over, it’s probably significantly more creepy,” Remus said, and the other two boys snickered, before looking at Lily, who had chosen to have not heard them.

**“** **Snape, like Flitwick, started the class by taking the roll call, and like Flitwick, he paused at Harry's name.”**

“Well, this should be interesting,” Lily sighed, and the boys smiled at her.

**“** **"Ah, Yes," he said softly, "Harry Potter. Our new - celebrity."”**

“I’ll show you celebrity,” said Sirius, standing up, and Lily regarded him amusedly

“Honestly Sirius, calm down,” she laughed, and Sirius smiled slightly.

“You know, I can actually hear him saying that,” James said, cocking his head to the side.

“Sound nasty?” Sirius asked, and James smirked

“As always.”

“Very tactful, guys,” Lily mumbled, and they shot her sympathetic looks

“Can you turn a blind eye for this part where he’s ragging on Harry?” James asked, and Lily sighed.

“Fine.”

“I _love_ you!” Sirius said happily, blowing her a kiss, and Lily giggled.

**“Draco Malfoy and his friends Crabbe and Goyle sniggered behind their hands.”**

“Pricks”

“Sirius”

“Sorry.”

**“Snape finished calling the names and looked up at the class. His eyes were black like Hagrid's, but they had none of Hagrid's warmth.”**

“That they do not.”

“Sirius Black, I swear to god-“

“Keep your hair on woman!”

“Excuse me?”

“Er, I love you?”

“Good save,” James said sarcastically, a grin spreading across his face.

“Thanks,” Sirius winked.

**“They were cold and empty and made you think of dark tunnels.”**

“Jeez, your child scares me,” Remus shuddered, and the other three laughed

“Dark tunnels,” Sirius said mysteriously, “Honestly, he should just be a poet and be done with it.”

**“** **"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making," he began. He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every word - like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort.”**

“Because they’re too busy looking at his greasy hair and wishing they could wash it,” Sirius said wisely, and they all snorted with laughter

“Come on Lils,” James said, nudging her, “Don’t tell me his hair never bothered you!”

“It did,” she said, and the boys grinned

“Ever ask him about it?”

“Well, you lot constantly did, so I figured it’d be heartless for me to do it,” she said, and the boys laughed

“I believe a ‘thank you’ is in order?” Sirius said proudly, and Lily shook her head

**“"As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses.... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death - if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."”**

“He’s frightening me,” Sirius hissed, and the other three nodded sympathetically

“Why is he telling them all this?” Lily hissed, “He’s _never_ going to teach them that rubbish!”

“He’s not?” James asked, confused

“Well, you never learn all these things in NEWT level courses,” she said, “I looked through the syllabus.”

“You did?” Sirius asked, bewildered

“Er, well, I kind of coerced Slughorn into telling me,” she mumbled, and the boys laughed.

“That man is like putty in your hands,” Remus chuckled

“Rather like Prongs here,” Sirius said, and James shot him a nasty look as Lily laughed.

**“More silence followed this little speech. Harry and Ron exchanged looks with raised eyebrows. Hermione Granger was on the edge of her seat and looked desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead.”**

Sirius snorted.

**“** **"Potter!" said Snape suddenly.”**

“Oh here we go,” Lily said irritably, crossing her arms. James gave her a comforting squeeze.

“What do you think he’s going to do?” Sirius asked curiously

“Humiliate him,” James said, and Lily grimaced.

**“"What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"”**

“ _What_?” Lily hissed, and the boys looked at her warily, “He’s _really_ asking him this?” she asked angrily, and the boys exchanged worried glances.

“Er, yes?” Sirius said uncertainly, and the corners of Lily’s mouth twitched.

**“Powdered root of what to an infusion of what? Harry glanced at Ron, who looked as stumped as he was; Hermione's hand had shot into the air.”**

“Typical,” Sirius said bitterly, and Lily grinned at him

“Poor Harry is so confused!” Remus said sadly, “Why would you do this to him?” he asked the book, as if waiting for an answer.

“That’s really mean,” Lily sniffed angrily.

**“** **"I don't know, sir," said Harry.”**

“Don’t be so polite!” James said, “He’s being an arse!”

“For once, I agree with James,” Lily said, and James chuckled

“OH NO!” Sirius exclaimed, and they all jumped, turning to him, “Lily? Agreeing with James? The world is _ending!_ ” he screeched, hiding his face in his hands.

“Very funny,” Lily said, flushing, as James and Remus roared with laughter.

**“** **Snape's lips curled into a sneer.”**

“Sleezeball,” James muttered.

**“** **"Tut, tut - fame clearly isn't everything." He ignored Hermione's hand.”**

“Do _not_ do this to my son,” James said angrily, and Lily sighed, shaking her head

“He’s a ruthless bastard,” she said, and the boys froze for a second before erupting into howls of laughter

“Lily, can we just make you a Marauder so you can walk around and insult people?” Sirius asked, and Lily flushed, before laughing.

“That’d be _the coolest_ job ever,” she said, and the boys laughed

“Insulting people?” James asked, and Lily nodded, “Well you’re more than qualified,” he said bitterly, and Lily giggled

“James Potter, is that bitterness I hear?”

“Yes,” he said bluntly, and Lily giggled.

**“** **"Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"”**

“ _Such_ an arse,” Lily muttered

**“Hermione stretched her hand as high into the air as it would go without her leaving her seat, but Harry didn't have the faintest idea what a bezoar was. He tried not to look at Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, who were shaking with laughter.”**

“Like _they_ bloody know,” Remus said irritably, “that’s bloody _typical_.”

“This is _Malfoy_ ,” James said, “Snapes probably got a soft spot for him or something.”

**“"I don't know, sir."**

**"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?"”**

“Oi!” James said angrily

“I’ll have you know that Harry stayed up late reading his textbooks,” Sirius said angrily, “As much as it pains me to admit it, he did!”

**“Harry forced himself to keep looking straight into those cold eyes.”**

“That’s right Harry,” Sirius encouraged

“Don’t let him get the better of you,” Remus agreed.

“Keep staring into those dark tunnels!”

“Sirius!” Lily laughed, and he winked at her as the other two Marauders howled with laughter.

**“He had looked through his books at the Dursleys', but did Snape expect him to remember everything in _One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_?**

**Snape was still ignoring Hermione's quivering hand, "What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and Wolfsbane?" At this, Hermione stood up, her hand stretching toward the dungeon ceiling.”**

“Just bloody _sit down_!” Sirius hissed, “She’s _maddening_!”

**“** **"I don't know," said Harry quietly. "I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?"”**

The four of them burst out laughing

“Well _done_!” James laughed.

“Sassing Snape on his first day of school,” Sirius said, grinning, “He’s a true Marauder,” he said, pretending to cry.

**“A few people laughed; Harry caught Seamus's eye, and Seamus winked.”**

“Ah, Gryffindors,” Remus laughed, shaking his head fondly, “we’re a rather stupid bunch, aren’t we?” he asked, and Lily nodded as Sirius and James shook their heads violently.

“No we’re not!” James said defiantly

“Yes. James, we are,” Lily said, and James huffed.

 **“** **Snape, however, was not pleased.** **"Sit down," he snapped at Hermione.”**

“Don’t yell at her you _bastard_!” Sirius hissed and Lily giggled

“Staring to feel protective over Hermione, are we?” she teased, and Sirius shot her a nasty look, causing James and Remus to snigger.

**“"For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and Wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?"”**

“Because they don’t give a rats arse what you’re saying?” James suggested, and the other three laughed

**“There was a sudden rummaging for quills and parchment. Over the noise, Snape said, "And a point will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter."”**

“That’s alright,” Sirius said, grinning, “That’s worth losing a point over.”

“Honestly, the nerve of him!” James chuckled

“He would’ve given you a run for your money,” Remus said knowingly, and James laughed, nodding.

**“Things didn't improve for the Gryffindors as the Potions lesson continued. Snape put them all into pairs and set them to mixing up a simple potion to cure boils. He swept around in his long black cloak, watching them weigh dried nettles and crush snake fangs, criticizing almost everyone except Malfoy, whom he seemed to like.”**

“Told you.”

**“He was just telling everyone to look at the perfect way Malfoy had stewed his horned slugs when clouds of acid green smoke and a loud hissing filled the dungeon. Neville had somehow managed to melt Seamus's cauldron into a twisted blob, and their potion was seeping across the stone floor, burning holes in people's shoes. Within seconds, the whole class was standing on their stools while Neville, who had been drenched in the potion when the cauldron collapsed, moaned in pain as angry red boils sprang up all over his arms and legs.”**

“Poor boy,” Lily said sadly, “he probably put the porcupine quills in without taking the cauldron off the fire,” she said knowingly, and the boys snorted.

“Honestly Lily, only _you’d_ care about these things,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged, smiling.

“I’m a good student.”

“Swot,” he said, and Lily laughed good-naturedly.

**“"Idiot boy!" snarled Snape, clearing the spilled potion away with one wave of his wand. "I suppose you added the porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire?"”**

“See,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

 **“Neville whimpered as boils started to pop up all over his nose.** **"Take him up to the hospital wing," Snape spat at Seamus. Then he rounded on Harry and Ron, who had been working next to Neville.”**

“If he _dares_ -“

“Dares what?” James asked Lily, who glowered at the book

“Blame Harry.”

“How could he manage that?” he gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You don’t know Sev like I do,” she said, and James’ jaw clenched at the use of the old nickname.

“Thank Merlin for that,” he said, and was glad to see a grin flash briefly across her face.

“He used to be nice,” she said sadly, and they all turned to her, “Back when we were kids. He became, well, an arse, in about third or fourth year.”

“Really?” Sirius asked, “I find that hard to believe.”

“He was,” Lily said, nodding, “he was the first friend I had,” she said, and the boys grimaced, “told me I was a witch,” she said, smiling slightly, “And helped make fun of Tuney with me.”

“I’d be glad to offer my services on that matter,” Sirius said, and Lily burst out laughing.

“I’m sure you’d be better,” she said, nodding her head, grinning.

“And I can tell you you’re a witch,” James said, and Lily burst out laughing.

“Can you?”

“Lily,” he said, looking down at her seriously, “You’re a witch.”

“Really?” she gasped, and the four of them giggled like children.

**“** **"You - Potter - why didn't you tell him not to add the quills? Thought he'd make you look good if he got it wrong, did you? That's another point you've lost for Gryffindor."”**

“Bloody _Snivellus_ ,” Sirius sneered angrily

“How could he _possibly_ blame Harry?” James asked angrily

“Like that,” Remus said bitterly, gesturing to the book, earning himself an anry glare

“That’s just _uncalled_ for!” Lily said shrilly.

“Is Snivellus in the castle?” Sirius asked, turning to Lily, who huffed angrily

“Yes,” she said harshly, “and he’s going to wish he wasn’t,” she said darkly, and the boys gulped frightfully

“Okay, look, Lils, I cant believe I’m saying this, but don’t you think you should think about this before you do it?” James asked, and Lily snorted

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“I know,” James mumbled, “But-“

“I know what you’re saying,” she said, “Doesn’t mean I can’t fantasize about AK-ing him,” she said, and James chuckled as Sirius and Remus laughed

“No love, it doesn’t,” he said, kissing her temple.

**“This was so unfair that Harry opened his mouth to argue, but Ron kicked him behind their cauldron.”**

“Thanks Ron,” Lily said, running her hand through her auburn hair.

“I wish he had argued,” Sirius sighed sadly

“I don’t!” Remus said indignantly, “Snape would’ve given him detention!”

“And knowing him, he’d give him detentions for months,” James said bitterly, and Remus nodded in agreement as Sirius scowled

“Slimy bastard.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

**“** **"Don’t push it," he muttered, "I've heard Snape can turn very nasty."”**

“You heard correctly,” Lily said, and the boys snorted

“We can be nastier!”

“That’s not something to take much pride in,” Lily giggled, pinching her boyfriend’s cheek, and James chuckled as his friends laughed at him.

**“As they climbed the steps out of the dungeon an hour later, Harry's mind was racing and his spirits were low. He'd lost two points for Gryffindor in his very first week”**

“That’s _nothing_ young Prongs,” Sirius said wisely, “Your father lost us five on his first day,” he said happily, winking at James, who shrugged, grinning.

“Snivellus was asking for it!” he said defensively, and Lily snorted

“He _walked by_ you,” she said, and James shrugged

“I didn’t want him in my presence!” he said indignantly, and Lily, instead of screaming at him as she once would’ve done, rolled her eyes fondly.

“You’re ridiculous,” she said bluntly, and James grinned

“And you love me for it!”

“No, I really don’t,” she said, and James stuck his tongue out at his laughing friends

“She loves _me_ ,” Sirius said proudly, and Lily sighed as the other two boys laughed

**“- why did Snape hate him so much?”**

“Because,” Sirius said, and Lily turned to him expectantly, “what, no yelling?” he asked disappointedly, and Lily grinned as James and Remus laughed

“I’m genuinely curious to see what you’re going to say,” she said, and Sirius sighed dramatically.

“Because he’s proof that you picked James over him,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James grinned happily at the sentence, earning him an eye roll from Sirius and a snort from Remus.

“He doesn’t care,” Lily said bitterly, and Sirius threw her a blank look

“Lily, he loves you,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“So you’re suggesting that he hates James because he loves me and I picked James,” she said, and James grinned euphorically, causing Sirius to grin and wink at him, “and then there’s Harry, who’s basically proof of that?” she asked, and the three boys nodded, James slightly giddily, “Preposterous,” she snorted, and the three boys sighed.

“Lily he-“

“Doesn’t love me!” she exclaimed, “If he did, which I assure you he does _not_ , he wouldn’t have thrown our friendship away and chosen the Death Eaters over me,” she said bluntly, and the boys sighed, “End of conversation,” she said blankly

“If he did love you,” Remus said, and Lily turned to him angrily, “Would you pick him over James?” he asked, and Lily felt James stiffen slightly under her head.

“Doubt it,” she said, and James beamed at Remus, who chuckled, his friends’ obvious euphoria catching on.

“Would you have picked him back in third year?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed

“I _never_ would want something romantic with him,” she said, “he was a friend, that’s it,” she said bluntly, and the boys grinned.

“Good, because with that nose, snogging would’ve been difficult,” Sirius said, and Lily froze.

“You’re _disgusting_!” she screeched, sitting up straight, and pulling her wand out, pointing it at him. She waved it and Sirius screamed as his hair began to curl itself. When she was done, his hair was a curly lime green mob atop his head.

James and Remus were wheezing for air as Sirius screamed, Lily smirking sadistically

“Well done,” James said, smiling, and Lily grinned up at him.

“I learn from the best,” she said dully, and James laughed; he had done the same thing to her in their third year.

“Evans!” Sirius whined, and Lily grinned

“It’s going to unwind when the colour changes,” she said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as his two best friends sniggered madly

“Prongs!”

“Nope,” James said, shaking his head, and Sirius huffed irritably.

**“"Cheer up," said Ron, "Snape's always taking points off Fred and George.”**

“Of course he is,” Remus said, shaking head, half infuriated and half amused.

“That’s an unfair comparison!” Lily said, and James chuckled

“I’d rather he be compared to them than anyone else,” he said honestly, and Lily sighed as Sirius barked a laugh

“Couldn’t agree with you more!” he said, leaning over to hi-five James.

“ **Can I come and meet Hagrid with you?"”**

“Of course!” Sirius said happily, “Hagrid loves _everyone_! Sans the Slytherins, of course,” he said, and Lily giggled, “what?”

“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head quickly.

“What?” James asked, nudging her.

“He went on a _long_ rant about Severus after he called me a, well, you know,” she said, flushing a little towards the end.

“Really?” Sirius asked, sidetracking the ‘mudblood’ conversation, “What did he say?” he asked excitedly, bouncing up and down.

“I cant tell you,” Lily said sternly

“Come on Lils!” James coaxed, rubbing her arm, “PleasEe”

“No,” she said, giggling.

“Why not?” Remus asked

“Because Hagrid told me never to tell another person what he said,” she said, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“Fine,” he said, and the other two turned to him, bewildered

“Fine?” James asked, eyebrows high on his forehead

“Fine?” Remus squeaked

“Yes, because I respect Hagrid,” Sirius said, and James snorted

“The new hair has gotten to you,” he said, shaking his head, and Sirius glared at him as the others laughed, touching his hair protectively.

**“At five to three they left the castle and made their way across the grounds. Hagrid lived in a small wooden house on the edge of the forbidden forest. A crossbow and a pair of galoshes were outside the front door.”**

“Which Sirius stole to go ‘hunting’,” Remus said, and Lily laughed as James and Sirius snickered

“What were you hunting?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“Slytherins,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“Get any?” she asked, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“Hagrid caught us right before I was about to fire,” he said, and Lily grinned as James and Remus snickered

**“** **When Harry knocked they heard a frantic scrabbling from inside and several booming barks.”**

“I see Hagrids excited,” Sirius said, and the others burst out laughing.

**“Then Hagrid's voice rang out, saying, "Back, Fang – back!"”**

“Oh, it was the dog,” Sirius said stupidly, and the other three snorted

“I hate that dog,” James muttered irritably, and Lily grinned as Sirius and Remus snorted with laughter

“Why?” she asked, and James shoko his head

“You wouldn’t say what Hagrid told you,” he said, pouting, and the other two grinned

“Well done,” Sirius whispered to him, and James winked at him.

“Well, then, keep your story to yourself,” she said, crossing her arms, and James sighed

“I will,” he said, and Lily smiled

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

“Most dysfunctional couple ever,” Remus said, and Sirius grinned as the two flushed.

 **“Hagrid's big, hairy face appeared in the crack as he pulled the door open.** **"Hang on," he said. "Back, Fang!" He let them in, struggling to keep a hold on the collar of an enormous black boarhound.”**

“Evil dog,” James muttered, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as she felt his gaze flicker to her

“Mentioning it won’t make me any more curious,” she said, and James huffed as the other two boys grimaced

“Close mate,” Sirius said, and James shrugged somberly.

“I can only do so much,” he said, and the other two boys laughed as Lily giggled.

**“** **There was only one room inside. Hams and pheasants were hanging from the ceiling, a copper kettle was boiling on the open fire, and in the corner stood a massive bed with a patchwork quilt over it.**

**"Make yerselves at home," said Hagrid, letting go of Fang, who bounded straight at Ron and started licking his ears. Like Hagrid, Fang was clearly not as fierce as he looked.”**

“He really is the sweetest dog,” Lily said happily.

“No he’s not!” James said, and Lily turned to him, eyebrows raised, “Fine I’ll tell you” he said, and Lily grinned as his friends groaned

“She has far too much power over you,” Remus said, and James sighed

“I know,” he muttered, and Lily grinned, “Well, basically-“

“When we visited one time,” Sirius cut in, and they all turned to him, “what? I want to tell it,” he said, and James chuckled, “So we visited and the dog decides it doesn’t necessarily like James,” he said, and James rolled his eyes, “So he runs straight at him and sticks his nose, well, you know where,” Sirius said, gesturing ot his crotch area, and Lily giggled as James flushed dep maroon.

“What’s so evil about that?” Lily asked, “Dogs _always_ do that!”

“Well, dogs don’t usually bite,” Sirius said, and Lily burst out laughing as James winced

”That bloody _hurt_ ,” he said, but the other three failed to comfort him as they were too busy screaming with laughter.

“Aw, poor Jamie,” Lily cooed, pinching his cheek affectionately

“You going to kiss it better?” Sirius teased, wagging his eyebrows suggestively, and Lily turned a bright shade of purple as James covered up laugh and Remus shook with contained laughter.

“You’re sick,” she said, and turned so she was facing Remus, but not before getting off from James so that he wasn’t touching her at all. James threw Sirius a glare.

**“** **"This is Ron," Harry told Hagrid, who was pouring boiling water into a large teapot and putting rock cakes onto a plate.**

**"Another Weasley, eh?" said Hagrid, glancing at Ron's freckles. “I spent half me life chasin' yer twin brothers away from the forest."”**

The Marauder grinned

“He never chases us away from the forest,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“Because he wants you to die.”

“Now that’s a bit harsh Evans,” Sirius said, as James and Remus laughed, “Just because I suggested-“

“One more word and I’ll curse you so hard you wont be able to sit on a broom,” Lily growled, and Sirius gulped, crossing his legs instinctively, as did James and Remus.

**“The rock cakes were shapeless lumps with raisins that almost broke their teeth, but Harry and Ron pretended to be enjoying them as they told Hagrid all about their first -lessons.”**

“So polite,” Sirius said, sniffling, and Lily sighed

“Now I’m almost hoping my child isn’t polite so you’ll stop _teasing_ me,” she said, and Sirius grinned as the other two Marauders laughed

“Can you imagine?” Remus asked, “a rude Lily?”

“No,” James laughed, “I really cant.”

**“Fang rested his head on Harry's knee and drooled all over his robes.”**

“Don’t complain,” James said irritably, and the others laughed. He looked over at Lily, who was sitting right next to him, and she grinned at him.

**“** **Harry and Ron were delighted to hear Hagrid call Fitch "that old git."”**

“Yeah Hagrid!” Sirius cheered, as the other three laughed.

“He is an old git,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Yes James, we all know that.”

“We should call him that!” Sirius said happily

“Is it your goal in life to get detentions?” Lily asked, and the other two boys laughed as Sirius grinned proudly

“Yes,” he said, “I’ll have you know I’ve had 37 from this year, and it’s only Christmas break,” he said happily, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“How?” she gasped

“I would tell you love, but that would involve a lot of secret telling,” he said dramatically, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Fine,” she said, turning to Remus, who grinned at Sirius’ scandalized expression

“Are you saying you don’t care?” Sirius gasped, and Lily winked at him, causing his jaw to drop, impossibly, further.

**“"An' as fer that cat, Mrs. Norris, I'd like ter introduce her to Fang sometime.”**

“Mrs. Norris vs. Fang,” Remus said dramatically

“I would love to see that,” Sirius said excitedly

“No you wouldn’t, Mrs. Norris would kick butt,” Lily said morosely, and Sirius gaped at her, “Didn’t you know? Fang’s a bloody coward!”

“NO!” Sirius gasped, and Lily nodded sadlym, “Damnit!”

**“D'yeh know, every time I go up ter the school, she follows me everywhere? Can't get rid of her - Fitch puts her up to it."”**

“Trust Filch to irritate Hagrid of all people,” James muttered irritably, crossing his arms.

“The Slytherins irritate Hagrid,” Sirius pointed out, and James threw him a blank look

“That’s the point, mate.”

“What point?” Sirius asked, looking genuinely baffled

“Never mind,” James chuckled

“What point?”

“Forget it!”

“WHAT POINT?”

“Sirius Black!” Lily hissed, and he quietened immediately, his hand flying to his hair

“Thanks,” James whispered to Lily, and she giggled, shaking her head fondly.

**“Harry told Hagrid about Snape's lesson. Hagrid, like Ron, told Harry not to worry about it, that Snape liked hardly any of the students.”**

“While that may be true,” Remus said, “Harry’s a special case.”

“Agreed,” James said, looking neither upset nor euphoric at the thought of _his_ son being Snape’s new arch-enemy

“Following in his fathers’ footsteps,” Sirius sniffed, and James laughed.

**“** **"But he seemed to really hate me!"**

**"Rubbish!" said Hagrid. "Why should he?"”**

“Let me see, maybe because James took Lily from his slimy clutches and they got married and shagged and had Harry,” Sirius said, and both Lily and James turned marvelous shades of maroon at the mentioning of shagging.

“Come on you two,” Remus laughed, seeing their embarrassed faces, “You have to know how babies are made!”

“Of course!” Sirius said, enjoying their obvious squirming, “You see, when two people love each other very much, they take of all their clothes and-“

SLAP

“Bloody _ow_!” Sirius screamed, holding onto his arm. James shook his hand to cure it from the tingling sensation of having slapped very hard, “PRONGS!”

“Don’t even,” James said, still a deep shade of maroon. Lily had moved further away from James, her cheeks a fiery shade of red. Remus winked at Sirius, who grinned back, the two obviously very pleased with themselves for this embarrassment.

**“Yet Harry couldn't help thinking that Hagrid didn't quite meet his eyes when he said that.”**

“Because he didn’t.”

“Don’t make me hit you,” Lily said, and Sirius winked at her

“You going to spank me?” he asked suggestively, and she threw him a dark look, as did James, while Remus shook with silent laughter.

“I’ll kill you,” she muttered, and Sirius grinned

“Lily, love, if it were you killing someone, I doubt they’d mind,” he winked, and Lily flushed, before hiding her face as Sirius and Remus laughed and James rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face.

“You’re an awful human being,” she said, and Sirius laughed.

**“"How's yer brother Charlie?" Hagrid asked Ron. "I liked him a lot - great with animals."”**

“Subtle segway,” Sirius muttered, and the other three laughed

**“Harry wondered if Hagrid had changed the subject on purpose.”**

“He had,” Lily said, nodding her head, and the boys laughed

“Who’s interrupting now?” Sirius teased, and Lily showed her a specific finger on her hand, “Whoa!” he laughed, holding his hands up in surrender as James and Remus howled with laughter, “That was rather rude, Evans.”

“You deserve it,” she shrugged, and Sirius sighed

“Alas, that is the truth,” he sniffed, and Lily let out a reluctant giggle.

**“While Ron told Hagrid all about Charlie's work with dragons, Harry picked up a piece of paper that was lying on the table under the tea cozy. It was a cutting from the _Daily Prophet_ :”**

“Your son is reading the newspaper,” Sirisu informed James, who snorted, “whilst hanging out with mates, at Hagrids hut. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Lily and Remus laughed as James rolled his eyes fondly, chuckling.

“ ** _GRINGOTTS BREAK-IN LATEST”_**

“Oh, okay, he can read it,” Sirius said, “I retract my disappointment and disgust”

“I bet it means ever so much to him,” James said sarcastically, and Sirius winked at his best mate.

**“ _Investigations continue into the break-in at Gringotts on 31 July, widely believed to be the work of Dark wizards or witches unknown._** ****

**_Gringotts goblins today insisted that nothing had been taken. The vault that was searched had in fact been emptied the same day._ ** ****

**_"But we're not telling you what was in there, so keep your noses out if you know what's good for you," said a Gringotts spokesgoblin this afternoon._ ** **”**

“Still no news?” Sirius gasped, his eyebrows crinkling worriedly

“This is really strange,” Remus murmured, rereading the article.

“Nothing had been taken?” Lily said, frowning, “then why’s it a big deal?”

“That _is_ the big deal!” James said, “there was a break in and nothing was taken, why bother?” he asked, and Lily shook her head, “Plus, it was a high security vault, was it not?” he said, and Lily nodded.

“I suppose,” she sighed, “It’s all just so strange!”

“I know,” Sirius said sympathetically, scratching his head absentmindedly, “Goblins are pleasant, aren’t they?” he mused, and the others laughed

“Yes, they are,” said Remus sarcastically, and Sirius sniggered.

**“Harry remembered Ron telling him on the train that someone had tried to rob Gringotts, but Ron hadn't mentioned the date.”**

“Why? Why’s that important?” James asked, and the others shrugged

“Were they there on that day?” Sirius asked

“We don’t know! They never mentioned dates before!” Remus squawked, and Sirius growled

“ _So_ infuriating,” he muttered, and the other nodded in agreement.

**“** **"Hagrid!" said Harry, "that Gringotts break-in happened on my birthday! It might've been happening while we were there!"”**

Lily squealed excitedly and the boys turned to her, bewildered

“What?” James asked, eyebrows near his hairline

“That’s his birthday!” she said happily, “the 31st of July!” she sung happily, grinning.

“Oh!” James gasped, a slow smile spreading across his face.

“I know his birthday!” Lily said happily, grinning, “Okay, I’m all good now.”

“You sure?” Sirius asked, a grin on his face

“Yep,” Lily said cheerfully, grinning like a loon.

“You going to throw a party on the thirty first?” Remus teased, and Lily laughed, shaking her head

“I’ll probably be freaking out,” she said.

“Ah, right, birth,” said James, and Lily shuddered violently

“Can you _please_?” she hissed, and James winked at her as the other two laughed.

**“There was no doubt about it, Hagrid definitely didn't meet Harry's eyes this time. He grunted and offered him another rock cake.”**

“Smooth,” Sirius laughed, and the others grinned

**“Harry read the story again. The vault that was searched had in fact been emptied earlier that same day. Hagrid had emptied vault seven hundred and thirteen, if you could call it emptying, taking out that grubby little package. Had that been what the thieves were looking for?”**

“Smart kid,” Remus said, nodding his head appreciatively

“Why would they want the sorcerers stone?” Lily asked, frowning.

“I don’t know,” James said, shaking his head, “What does it do?”

“No idea,” Sirius said.

“Okay, I’ll go check the-“

“Library,” all three boys said, and Lily scowled as they broke down in fits of laughter

“Don’t go to the library love,” James said, smiling at her, “We’ll find out in the book! It’s a ton more exciting,” he said, and Lily sighed after a few seconds of him looking at her coaxingly

“Fine,” she sighed, and James grinned as his friends stared at him incredulously

**“** **As Harry and Ron walked back to the castle for dinner, their pockets weighed down with rock cakes they'd been too polite to refuse,”**

The boys snorted and Lily laughed.

**“Harry thought that none of the lessons he'd had so far had given him as much to think about as tea with Hagrid. Had Hagrid collected that package just in time? Where was it now? And did Hagrid know something about Snape that he didn't want to tell Harry?”**

“Wow, mysterious,” Sirius said dramatically

“Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo,” James sung, and they all laughed

“That’s the end of the chapter,” Remus said, and they all sighed.

“Why do the chapters always end at maddening points?” Sirius asked, and the others shrugged, shaking their heads amusedly

“Hey!” James said happily, and they all looked at him as if he were insane, “Guess what time it is!”

“What?” Lily asked warily

“Dinner time,” he answered, grinning evilly at Sirius and Remus, who paled

“Er, I’m not really hungry,” Sirius said, and James snorted

”As if,” he said, “Plus, you should really keep us company.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Sirius muttered, pushing himself off the sofa, Remus mimicking his actions

“Go ahead,” James said, gesturing forwards.

* * *

“So. Embarassing.” Sirius muttered as the few people who were at Hogwarts kept turning ot look at him and Remus, laughing madly as they turned away

“I hate this,” Remus groaned, hiding his hair in his hands

“At least yours is just a different colour,” Sirius hissed, and Remus grimaced, patting him comfortingly on the shoulder.

“This is way too much fun,” James said happily, grinning down at his Shepherd’s Pie.

“You’re cruel,” a grinning Lily said, watching the two fidget with their hair uncomfortably

“Stop looking!” Sirius hissed at a few people, who turned around instantly, afraid.

“Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin.” They all turned to see a rather perplexed McGonagall standing next to them, as if not sure if she should yell at them or laugh at the ridiculous hair.

“Yes?” Sirius said

“What has happened to your hair?” she asked, lips pursed in a tight line

“It’s his fault!” Sirius whined, pointing to James, who gulped as McGonagall turned to glare at him. Lily, taking pity on her poor boyfriend, cleared her throat, and McGonagall turned to her instead, her eyes significantly less sharp

“Well, you see Professor, James and I were in the common Room, and he, er, asked me out, and I, uhm, said yes,” she said, not failing to notice how McGonagall’s eyebrows shot up and the three boys chuckled at her response, “And then we realized they’d been spying on us,” she said, pointing at Sirius and Remus, “So James went up to the dormitory where they’d hidden and they came down like this,” she finished, and McGonagall nodded.

“I see,” she said, her voice shaking with suppressed laughter, “Well, then, I hope you two learn your lesson,” she said to Sirius and Remus, whose jaws dropped, before turning to James, who was laughing at his best mates, “and congratulations, Mr. Potter, on finally acquiring Ms. Evans’ heart,” she said, and turned on her heel, leaving Lily, Sirius and Remus laughing and James with his jaw wide open.

“You said _yes?_ ” a voice said from behind them, and they all turned to see Snape standing there, an eyebrow raised.

“Oh bugger off you fucking bastard,” Lily said, waving her hand, and Snape’s eyebrows flew up, his eyes narrowing dangerously, before he glared at James, who was trying to contain his laughter

“Li-“

“Go, away,” Lily said, turning to glare at Snape, who threw her a nasty look before storming off.

“Well done,” Sirius wheezed, as the three boys burst out laughing after Snape stormed away.

“Oh bugger off,” Lily said, grinning.

“We should get to sleep,” James said suddenly, “It’s Christmas tomorrow!”

“So?” Lily asked, eyebrow quirked

“Well, you have to wake up early on Christmas!” he said, and Lily rolled her yes, as did Sirius and Remus

“He’ll have us up at the crack of dawn,” Remus muttered darkly, “Might as well get enough sleep,” he said, standing up. As he stood up, peoples eyes flickered to him, and he flushed as he noticed a group of fourth year Ravenclaw girls giggle madly.

“You think _you_ have it bad,” Sirius muttered, and walked quickly out of the Great hall, trying not to notice the laughing masses, Remus on his tail.

“Well that was fun,” Lily laughed, as she and James made their way out of the Great Hall. Right before they left, James grabbed her hand, and they heard an audible gasp echo throughout the Great Hall, “Marvellous,” Lily said dully, as they walked by a few Hufflepuffs who instantly started to whisper

“Enjoy it, love,” James laughed

“No thanks,” she muttered, but couldn’t help the giggle that escape her as someone wolf-whistled behind them. James turned around and winked at the Ravenclaw boy, who laughed, before they walked out of the Great Hall, “so, the logistics," Lily said.

“What?” James said, baffled. He frowned for a second before realization clouded his features and he sighed dramatically, "Do we have to?" he whined, and Lily nodded sternly.

"Yes, so, what do you think we are?" she asked, and James sighed, running his free hand through his hair, "Because I feel like I’m your girlfriend, but-"

"You are my girlfriend," James said, smiling, and Lily beamed at him.

"I see," she said, "Now that that's settled-" and with that, she grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards her.

“You know you’re snogging me in the middle of a hallway, right?” James murmured against her lips, smiling slightly

“Oh shut up,” she muttered.

“Good, I’ve been wanting to do this all day.”

* * *

**Hope you liked the chapter, please leave a review, I would appreciate it muchly. It bloody makes my days (:**

 

**HAPPY FANFICTIONING**


	10. The Midnight Duel

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, I do not own the rights to Harry Potter.**

* * *

BANG!

“What the?” Lily sat up quickly as the door to her dormitory flew open, hitting the wall with such force that the noise woke her of her deep slumber.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!” she heard a very masculine voice yell from by the door. She couldn’t see, considering her bed hangings were drawn, but she groaned as she remembered Sirius’ warning; James woke up at the crack of dawn on Christmas. She turned over to look at her clock and saw that it was 5am. The hangings around her bed were pulled away very violently and she shrieked, hiding under the covers, “Wake up! It’s _Christmas!_ ”

“That’s bloody fantastic,” she muttered, and heard James’ manic laughter.

“It is, isn’t it!” he yelled happily. There was silence, and for a peaceful second Lily thought he had gone away, then-

“Bloody Merlin!” she shrieked, as she was levitated into the air, her covers still wrapped around her, “Potter!”

“Get up!” he sung, and Lily huffed, pushing the covers away from her face to look down at the grinning boy. He was standing by her bed, wand pointing at her, and a large adorable grin on his face. Lily didn’t have the heart to yell at him, what, with his disheveled hair, lopsided glasses, adorable grin and bright eyes, wearing full length pajama pants covered in Christmas Trees and a woolly reindeer jumper. She half expected him to be wearing those muggle headbands with antlers on it.

“I am up,” she said, gesturing to her position, floating in midair. James laughed like a child and waved his wand, causing her to fall down onto her bed, bouncing at the force of the landing, “I would’ve expected to have been dropped more ceremoniously than that,” she muttered angrily, turning to him. James only laughed and pulled her covers away, causing her to scream at the sudden cold. She was properly attired, of course, wearing a large t-shirt and pajama pants, her hair tied up in a messy bun.

“Come on!” he yelled happily, grabbing her hand and literally pushing her towards the bathroom, “Hurry up!”

“Just go wait for me downstairs!” she hissed amusedly, watching James jump up and down impatiently by the door.

“Okay!” he yelled, and grinned at her before grabbing his broom from the floor and flying out. Lily snorted; of course James Potter would know how to get up into the girls dormitories. She brushed her teeth quickly, incase James decided to come up here and nag her again, washed her face, and changed her shirt into something more appropriate, a black fitting shirt, and made her way down the stairs, yawning hugely, her wand tucked into the waistband of her pants.

“LILY!” James sung as she came into view, and ran over to her. She looked behind him to see Sirius and Remus sitting on the floor by the Christmas tree, eyes drooping, looking as if they’d not slept at all. Lily looked at James quickly, just in time to see him crash into her, enveloping her in a bear hug

“Er, hi?” she said uncertainly, the wee hours of morning making it difficult for her brain to adjust to the sixteen year old boy squeezing her to death. James let go of her and grinned widely, before leaning down and kissing her full force.

“Come on!” Sirius whined, rubbing his eyes, “It’s too early for this!” he groaned, as James deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into her mouth. Lily’s hands instinctively wrapped themselves around his neck to keep balance, as he ravished her.

“I agree,” Remus muttered, hiding his face in his knees

“Maybe if we leave them to it, we can go back to sleep and they wont notice,” Sirius muttered, and Remus snorted. He frowned, as if pondering this, and then sighed, shaking his head

“Wouldn’t be worth the wrath of Prongs,” he muttered, and Sirius grimaced. He looked back to see the couple still at it and huffed. He grabbed a couch cushion and threw it at them, hitting James right in the face. He pulled away from Lily and grinned down at her swollen lips before taking her hand, completely ignoring the pillow, and led the blushing girl to the Christmas Tree in the middle of the Common Room.

“Good morning,” Lily muttered, seating herself next to Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes

“What’s so good about it?” he muttered, and Lily snorted

“This is way too early,” she sighed, and Remus chuckled

“You were thoroughly woken up,” he said, gesturing to where the couple had just snogged, and Lily flushed as Sirius snickered.

“I’ll be right back!” James sung, and sprinted up the stairs to his dormitory.

“Thank Merlin,” Sirius groaned, falling backwards so he was lying down on the floor, covering his eyes with his arm.

“He’s too bloody chirpy,” Remus grumbled, rubbing his eyes moodily

“I see you’re all morning people,” Lily teased, and the boys threw her sardonic glares

“I hope you get married,” Sirius muttered, “So you have to deal with this every Christmas,” he said, and Lily groaned as Remus laughed

“I wouldn’t ever subject someone to this kind of torture,” Remus said, and Sirius sighed

“Alas, that is the sad truth,” he said, before sitting up quickly, “Look!” he said happily, shoving his head in Lily’s face

“Er, what?” she said uncertainly

“My _hair_!” he sung, fingering his majestic dark waves of hair, “It’s back!”

“I see that,” Lily laughed

“Best thing ever,” Remus sighed, “It was almost worth being woken up by Prongs, just so I could see myself with my normal hair again.”

“So did you get your possessions back?” Lily teased, and the two nodded happily

“Spot was okay,” Sirius said and Lily snorted

”I was so worried,” she said sarcastically, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her as Remus laughed, “Why do you two look like you haven’t slept at all?”

“Because we haven’t,” Sirius muttered darkly, “Bloody Prongs.”

“Why?” Lily asked curiously

“He went on for _hours_ about you two,” Remus muttered, and Lily flushed, grinning.

“Honestly, you’re like a bunch of girls,” she said, and the boys glared at her

“Correction,” Sirius said, “Prongs is like a little girl.”

“Speaking of,” Lily said, eyes widening, “You lot promised me you’d tell me what his most prized possession is!” she said, and the two grinned mischievously

“Don’t worry Lils, we did,” Remus said, nodding towards the presents. Lily gasped and made a lunge for a present, but was stopped by Sirius

“If he comes down and you’ve already started, he will actually murder us all,” he said wisely, and Lily huffed.

“I’m back!” James sung, sauntering down the stairs

“Where did you go?” Remus asked as Sirius prayed to the heavens.

“Bathroom,” James shrugged, seating himself next to Lily, “Hi!” he said, kissing her on the cheek, and Lily laughed.

“Hello,” she said.

“Let’s read,” James said happily, and the other three gaped at him.

“Mate, there are presents here and you want to read?” Sirius asked, bewildered, and James shrugged

“I feel like reading!”

“And we’re not supposed to argue with him on Christmas,” Sirius whispered to Lily, who rolled her eyes

“I want to open my presents!” Lily whined, but James shook his head sternly.

“Why bother?” Remus muttered, eying the large pile of presents longingly.

“James!” Lily said irritably, and James winked at her, kissing her quickly, before opening the book

“ **Chapter Nine: The Midnight Duel”**

“There _will_ be a bloody midnight duel if you wont let me open my presents,” Sirius muttered darkly, looking longingly at his presents

“I’ll be your second,” Lily said to Sirius, who grinned widely at her as Remus laughed and James shook his head jauntily

“Why are you so happy?” Remus asked amusedly

“It’s bothering me,” Sirius added, pouting, and Lily giggled.

“It’s _Christmas_ ,” James said happily.

“It’s also bloody 5 in the morning,” Sirius muttered to Lily, who snorted in a very non-ladylike fashion.

**“Harry had never believed he would meet a boy he hated more than Dudley, but that was before he met Draco Malfoy”**

“That’s my boy,” Sirius said, still looking longingly at his presents.

“James can we at least open _one?_ ” Remus begged, and James shook his head sternly

“I hate him,” Sirius said, “I really hate him.”

**“Still, first-year Gryffindors only had Potions with the Slytherins, so they didn't have to put up with Malfoy much.”**

“Why do they always do that?” James asked, and the delirious three turned to him, eyebrows quirked.

“Do what?” Sirius asked bluntly

“Pair the Gryffindors with the Slytherins. I mean, don’t they _know_ that’s a bad idea?” he asked, and the other three shrugged, “Why are you lot so unresponsive?” James asked, and Lily shot him a look as Remus and Sirius gaped like fish.

“It’s _five_ ,” she said, “Not to mention the fact that there are presents _right there_ and we can’t open them,” she said, and James shrugged.

“Fine,” he said, and flicked his wand, causing all the presents to disappear and the other three to yell out in indignation

“WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY PRESENTS?” Remus bellowed, standing up, and Lily looked at him in shock

“Remus and presents is equivalent on the crazy scale to James and Christmas,” Sirius whispered to Lily, who laughed

“I don’t find that hard to believe,” she said as Remus continued to yell at James, who didn’t seem to be listening.

“They’re somewhere,” James said, “You’ll get them when the chapter is over.”

“YOU BLOODY-“

“Just sit,” Sirius said tiredly, yanking on the back of Remus’ shirt, “The faster he finishes the bloody chapter, the faster we get presents.”

“Fine,” Remus huffed, sitting on the other side of Sirius, arms crossed.

“When did you become wise?” Lily asked, and Sirius snorted as the other two laughed.

**“Or at least, they didn't until they spotted a notice pinned up in the Gryffindor common room that made them all groan. Flying lessons would be starting on Thursday”**

“WHY IS THAT BAD?” Sirius bellowed angrily, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two boys nodded in agreement

“Honestly, what is it with boys and Quidditch?” she asked, and the three boys turned to glare at her

“If I remember correctly, Evans, you’re a Quidditch fan as well,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed as Sirius smiled smugly and James and Remus grinned at him.

“That’s not the point,” she said, and the three boys grinned wickedly at her, “Oh bugger off, I’m sleepy.”

“I can wake you up,” James said, winking slyly at her, and the other two boys sniggered as Lily flushed furiously

“Evil bloody conniving wanker,” she muttered under her breath, and James’ eyebrows flew up amusedly as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

**“– and Gryffindor and Slytherin would be learning together.”**

They all groaned

“And Malfoy can fly,” Lily sighed sadly

“And Harry cant,” Remus added sadly

“Hopefully he’ll have natural talent?” Lily suggested, and Sirius smirked

“Are you suggesting that you’re a good flier?” he teased, “Because from what I remember-“

“Oh _shut it_ Sirius,” Lily muttered embarrassedly as James and Remus laughed manically. Suddenly, James’ eyes widened

“Are you saying I’m a good flier?” he gasped, and both Remus and Sirius gasped as Lily flushed slightly

“Well, I mean, you’re Captain,” she said feebly, and James beamed so magnificently it looked like he had just found out Christmas was everyday. Which, in James’ case, would be nothing short of the best thing ever.

“Can I get this in writing?” James asked seriously, and his two friends burst out laughing as Lily stuck her tongue out at him

“Shut it!” she squeaked, “I’m just praying he’s better than Malfoy, is that so bad?” she asked weakly, trying not to blush even _more_ under James’ amused gaze.

“Ah Lily,” Sirius said happily, throwing his arm around her shoulder, “if he’s anything like James, and Malfoy is anything like, well, the Malfoy who graduated a few years ago,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered, “I assure you he will be better.”

“Padfoot!” James cried, smiling sweetly at him.

“Don’t get all gooey on me,” Sirius warned darkly, holding a hand up at James, “I swear to Merlin, I might have to kill you,” he said, and Lily and Remus laughed as James winked suggestively at Sirius

“What would you do without me?”

“Have sex with Remus,” Lily answered automatically, and the three boys gaped at her, before slowly, Remus started laughing, closely followed by the other boys

“Lily, I love you,” Remus laughed, and Lily grinned as James and Sirius chuckled, not looking at each other due to the inference that they had sex with each other

**“"Typical," said Harry darkly. "Just what I always wanted. To make a fool of myself on a broomstick in front of Malfoy."”**

Sirius laughed and they all looked at him, “when did he become a real person?” he asked, and the other three laughed

“He does sound like a Hogwartian, doesn’t he?” Remus mused, winking at Lily, who rolled her eyes as the three boys snickered

“Honestly, add it to the list of ‘things to embarrass Lily with’ that you lot no doubt have stashed somewhere,” she muttered, and the boys laughed.

“I assure you Ginger,” Sirius said, “That list is already too long.”

“Like you have a list,” she snorted, and the boys grinned mischievously, “WHAT?”

“Happy Christmas!” Sirius said happily, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed.

**“He had been looking forward to learning to fly more than anything else.”**

“He’s my son alright,” James said happily

“And my godson,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted magnificently

“What makes you say _you’ll_ get him as a godson?” Remus asked, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“What makes you think _you’ll_ get it?” he challenged, “James is my best mate!”

“He’s mine too!”

“He’s mine more!”

“Fine, but Lily likes me more,” Remus said proudly, “And we all know what influence Lily has over James,” he added, smiling smugly as Sirius’ jaw dropped

“You’re going to make _him_ godfather?” he asked, turning around to look at Lily and James

“Can we just _not_ discuss this ridiculous issue?” Lily asked, and both Remus and Sirius blanched as James sniggered madly.

**“"You don't know that you'll make a fool of yourself," said Ron reasonably. "Any way, I know Malfoy's always going on about how good he is at Quidditch, but I bet that's all talk."”**

“Ah Ronniekins,” Sirius said happily, twisting quickly so he was lying on his stomach with his head resting on his hands, “You grow on me more and more.”

“He has a point,” Lily mused, and the boys laughed

“Lily, I never thought I’d see you hate someone more than you hate James, but that day has come,” Remus announced grandly, and Sirius howled with laughter as James shot them dirty looks and Lily hid her giggles.

“Lily doesn’t hate me!” James said, turning to her, “Do you?”

“Yes James, I do,” she replied, and James pouted, “As far as you and I are concerned, we will always be strictly foe,” she said, and James snorted as his friends laughed.

“Ouch Prongs,” Sirius laughed, and James stuck his tongue out at him.

**“Malfoy certainly did talk about flying a lot.”**

“It’s a wonder he can get off the ground, big head like that,” Sirius said, and then grinned at Lily as James and Remus roared with laughter, “How’d I do?”

“Good, for an amateur,” Lily said, giggling, “You didn’t have the proper imposition,” she said, and Sirius rolled his eyes as the others laughed, the corners of his mouth turning up.

**“He complained loudly about first years never getting on the house Quidditch teams”**

“You wouldn’t have made it anyway,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed, causing him to grin mischievously

“Must you?” she asked, turning to him, and he nodded seriously.

“That’s my nephew right there,” he said, and this his nose scrunched, “That’s a disgusting thought,” he said, and the others laughed.

“So I presume Narcissa did marry Malfoy then?” Remus asked amusedly, and Sirius snorted

“She really had no choice, they’ve been betrothed since she was born,” Sirius muttered darkly, “There was really no escape for her.”

“Escape?” Lily asked curiously

“Yes, escape. I escaped from that pureblood mania,” he added as an explanation, and Lily frowned

“But that’s different,” she said, “She was a Slytherin, from what I remember.”

“So was Andromeda,” Sirius said, “And she’s dating a muggleborn,” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up, “I know.”

“Oh I don’t mean that in a bad way!” she squeaked, and Sirius chuckled.

“Wasn’t implying that you did, Red.”

“Then again,” James said, “She is Bellatrix’s sister,” he said, and Sirius sighed

“So is Andromeda.”

“But she got kicked out, didn’t she?” James asked curiously, and Sirius nodded.

“Just like me,” he said, nodding, “Because she started dating that muggleborn. Which is probably why Narcissa turned evil anyways,” he added, frowning, and they all looked at him as if he’d gone insane.

“Because Andromeda was gone?” Remus asked, frowning, and Sirius nodded

“Yes,” he said, “And she was left with Bellatrix’s influence,” he said, and they all nodded in understanding. They were awkwardly silent for a few moments, digesting this information, “MOVING ON,” he announced loudly, and they all laughed before turning to James, who cleared his throat before continuing.

**“and told long, boastful stories that always seemed to end with him narrowly escaping Muggles in helicopters.”**

“Bullshit,” Remus coughed, and they all laughed

**“He wasn't the only one, though: the way Seamus Finnigan told it, he'd spend most of his childhood zooming around the countryside on his broomstick.”**

“But he’s a Gryffindor!” James gasped

“Yes, and our kind have been known to spout bullshit,” Lily said, looking pointedly at James, who flushed as his two best friends snickered, “Don’t even get me started on you two,” Lily said, turning to them, and they stopped laughing instantly, causing James to smirk.

**“Even Ron would tell anyone who'd listen about the time he'd almost hit a hang glider on Charlie's old broom.”**

“Ron!” Sirius gasped, “I am appalled!”

“You know what appalled means?” Lily gasped, and Sirius nudged the giggling redhead playfully as Remus and James sniggered madly.

**“Everyone from wizarding families talked about Quidditch constantly. Ron had already had a big argument about Dean Thomas, who shared their dormitory, about soccer.”**

Lily grimaced

“What’s soccer?” Sirius asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Haven’t we been over this?” she asked, and Sirius shrugged

“That was a few chapters ago Lils,” Remus said, “You cant expect him to remember that,” he added, grinning cheekily at Sirius, who scowled at him.

“Not at bloody five in the morning,” Sirius said, throwing James a dirty look.

**“Ron couldn't see what was exciting about a game with only one ball where no one was allowed to fly.”**

“Absolutely nothing,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the two other boys nodded in agreement

“I’ll have you know, it’s a very big thing in the muggle world,” she said, “It’s like Quidditch to them,” she said, and the boys’ eyebrows shot up

“But _how_ could that be exciting?” Sirius asked-well, whined-as he rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling.

“I don’t know how to describe it,” Lily said, “Not to mention I’m not a big fan of it in the first place,” she sniffed, and the boys laughed

“Then why did you bloody defend it?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged, smiling sheepishly

“I felt an obligation to my people,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“Harry had caught Ron prodding Dean's poster of West Ham soccer team, trying to make the players move.”**

“I hate how muggle pictures don’t move,” Sirius said irritably, and Lily shrugged

“I kind of like it,” she said, “It captures the moment you wanted to capture.”

“But there’s no _life_ in it!” Sirius argued, and Lily shrugged again.

“The point of taking a picture is for memories,” she said, “You don’t need to remember every little twitch,” she added, and Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but was elbowed in the gut by Remus

“Drop it,” Remus advised quietly, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“Things I do for you Moony,” he said, and Remus grinned.

**“Neville had never been on a broomstick in his life, because his grandmother had never let him near one.”**

“I wonder why,” James said sarcastically, and Sirius guffawed in agreement, earning both of them scowls from Lily.

**“Privately, Harry felt she'd had good reason, because Neville managed to have an extraordinary number of accidents even with both feet on the ground.”**

The two boys smiled smugly at Lily, who huffed and crossed her arms.

“My son is rude,” she muttered darkly, and the boys laughed

“It specifically says ‘privately, Harry felt…’” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“That doesn’t matter,” she said, and the boy snorted

“That was very logical, actually,” Remus said, and Lily threw him a nasty look, effectively shutting him up

“See, this is what scares me about women,” Sirius said, “They have the power to shut us all up,” he said, and Lily grinned as the three boys mock scowled at her.

**“Hermione Granger was almost as nervous about flying as Neville was.”**

“Hermione? Nervous?” Sirius gasped, “That’s _actually_ a first, I’m genuinely in shock,” he said sarcastically, and Lily rolled her eyes

“She’s nervous because she can’t learn it out of a book,” James snickered

“Just like Lily was,” Remus added, and Lily’s eyes narrowed, the corners of her mouth twitching, as the boys roared with laughter

“That’s okay Ginger-Flower,” Sirius cooed, “We still love you!”

“Oh, thank Merlin,” Lily deadpanned, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as the other two laughed.

**“This was something you couldn't learn by heart out of a book”**

“See,” James said, winking at Lily, who rolled her eyes amusedly as the other two snickered.

**“– not that she hadn't tried.”**

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” Sirius said, grinning.

“Didn’t you try that Lily?” Remus asked innocently, and Lily gaped at him as Sirius and James laughed

“I thought you were the nice one!” she squeaked, and Remus shrugged, grinning evilly

“Never trust a Marauder,” he said wisely, and Sirius gasped

“We’re extremely trustworthy!” he said indignantly, and Lily rolled her eyes

“The _word_ Marauder implies a lack of trustworthiness,” she said, and Sirius grinned sheepishly as his friends chuckled.

“Not to mention the fact that it’s only five in the morning,” Remus continued with his explanation, “I haven’t had the time to develop my niceties,” he said, and they all laughed.

“Is that what you do while Black is grooming himself?” Lily asked innocently, and Sirius spluttered as the other two laughed

“I don’t _groom_ myself!”

“Oh just drop it,” Lily snorted, “Nobody’s hair looks so perfect in the morning.”

“You think my hair is perfect?” Sirius asked, winking, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“You know love, if you keep doing that, they might roll out of your head,” James said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the other two boys laughed.

**“At breakfast on Thursday she bored them all stupid with flying tips she'd gotten out of a library book called _Quidditch Through the Ages_.”**

“Those tips aren’t stupid!” James said indignantly.

“Yes, they are,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“I love that book!” James said defensively

“Enough said,” Lily said, and grinned at James, who pretended to glare at her as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“Neville was hanging on to her every word, desperate for anything that might help him hang on to his broomstick later, but everybody else was very pleased when Hermione's lecture was interrupted by the arrival of the mail.”**

“Thank Merlin for mail,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly as the other two boys laughed.

**“Harry hadn't had a single letter since Hagrid's note, something that Malfoy had been quick to notice, of course.”**

“Prick,” Sirius said darkly

“Wanker,” James agreed

“Tosser.”

“Prat”

“Twat”

“Twit”

“Toadface”

“Ditwad”

“Arsehole”

“Toerag”

“No James, that’s you,” Lily said, and James’ jaw dropped as his friends howled with laughter.

**“Malfoy's eagle owl was always bringing him packages of sweets from home, which he opened gloatingly at the Slytherin table.”**

“I hope they’re poisoned,” Sirius muttered, and Lily laughed.

“Merlin Lily!” Remus gasped, “Shouldn’t you be disapproving?”

“I, like you, have not had time to develop my more admirable traits due to the ungodly hour at which I was woken up,” she said, and James flushed slightly as his friends laughed

“Why, Miss Evans, that was a very formal monologue you just delivered,” Remus said amusedly, and Lily winked at him, grinning like a fool.

“I try,” she said, and the boys laughed

“So basically, you’re Prefect by day, Insane by night, and Marauder in disguise at ungodly hours?” Sirius asked, and Lily laughed.

“That sounds about right,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“A barn owl brought Neville a small package from his grandmother.”**

“She loves you!” Sirius exclaimed happily

“Or she’s sent him something embarrassing,” Remus said

“Like what?” James asked, “It’s a _small_ package!”

“She might have sent him his balls in a box,” Sirius mused, and the boys laughed as Lily attempted to hold one back.

“You know you want to laugh,” James taunted, poking Lily’s cheek repeatedly. She let out a bubble of laughter and slapped his hand away as Remus and Sirius laughed

“You’re _terrible_ ,” she squeaked, shoving Sirius in the shoulder and having no effect considering he was still lying down, attempting to look angry with a grin growing on her features

“You thought it was funny,” Sirius said, and Lily huffed, causing him to smirk, “That’s basically a confirmation love,” he said, and Lily huffed again, causing all the boys to laugh.

“She probably agrees, deep down,” Remus said, and Lily threw him a scandalized look as the boys continued to laugh at her.

**“He opened it excitedly and showed them a glass ball”**

“I told you she’d send him balls,” Sirius said simply, and James and Remus snorted with laughter as Lily squeaked and shoved the smirking Sirius once more

“You’re _impossible_ ,” she said, and Sirius grinned at her

“I love you too Ginger-Flower.”

**“the size of a large marble, which seemed to be full of white smoke.”**

“It’s the perfect size too,” Sirius added, and Lily groaned as the boys laughed

“That makes sense,” James said seriously, “He is a first year, after all.”

“These things do grow with time,” Sirius agreed, and Remus burst out laughing

“What’s so funny?” James asked, watching the wheezing Remus with a bewildered expression on his face

“Lily-face-,” he managed to choke out, and they turned to see that Lily had bypassed red and was now heading for a purple complexion.

“Is all this talk about balls making you uncomfortable?” James teased, and Lily hid her face in her knees as her face achieved the colour purple, causing all three boys to roar with laughter

“I assure you though,” Sirius said, “They do grow with time.”

“Shut _up_ ,” Lily hissed, and the boys sniggered madly.

**“"It's a Remembrall!" he explained.”**

“I’ve heard of those!” Remus said excitedly

“What are they?” James asked, and Remus grinned

“Read and find out,” Remus said enigmatically, and James snorted as Lily giggled and Sirius let out a snort of laughter.

**“"Gran knows I forget things –“**

“Everyone does,” Sirius muttered, and the others chuckled

**“this tells you if there's something you've forgotten to do. Look, you hold it tight like this and if it turns red – oh…" His face fell, because the Remembral had suddenly glowed scarlet, "…you've forgotten something…"”**

“What’s he forgotten?” Sirius asked curiously

“Who _cares_!” James squeaked, “Those things are _amazing_!”

“Why?” Sirius asked, bewildered

“Can you imagine how much easier pranking would be?” James gasped, and Sirius’ eyes widened

“Merlin,” he breathed, “I want one!”

“Of course, if we got Lily one, she’d use it to figure out what homework she hadn’t done,” Remus said, and the boys laughed as Lily flushed

“Must you always do this to me?” she asked, and Remus pretended to think before nodding, “What _happened_ to you?” she squeaked

“Ah Lily,” James said, “Remus may seem like a perfectly nice fellow, but he’s just as devious as the rest of us,” he said, and Lily grimaced as Remus grinned manically

“Or he’s just sleepy,” she muttered, and Sirius, the only one who heard, winked at her.

**“Neville was trying to remember what he'd forgotten when Draco Malfoy, who was passing the Gryffindor table, snatched the Remembrall out of his hand.”**

“Give him that back!” Sirius said fiercely

“Why is Malfoy passing the Gryffindor table?” Lily asked, “Gryffindor and Slytherins are across the hall from each other!”

“For obvious reasons,” James added, causing Lily’s mouth to twitch.

“Has that ever stopped the Slytherins from walking over?” Remus asked, and Lily sighed, shaking her head irritably.

**“Harry and Ron jumped to their feet. They were half hoping for a reason to fight Malfoy, but Professor McGonagall, who could spot trouble quicker than any teacher in the school, was there in a flash.”**

“Don’t fight Malfoy!” Lily hissed, and the boys turned to her incredulously

“Why ever not?” James asked, worried that she had suddenly developed a liking for Malfoy.

“Because,” she sighed, “It’ll just give him the satisfaction,” she said

“And you don’t want him to be satisfied,” Remus finished, and Lily nodded

“That sounds _naughty_ ,” Sirius said, winking, and Lily smacked the back of his head as Remus and James laughed.

“I love how McGonagall suddenly _appears_ ,” Remus said, rolling his eyes

“She never appears for us,” James pouted, and Lily snorted

“Because she wants nothing to do with you lot,” she said, and the boys mock glared at her, “What? It’s true!”

“She loves us,” Sirius said, waving her off, “Deep down.”

“So deep down it’ll take an eternity to find the emotion,” Lily added, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her amusedly as his friends laughed.

**“"What's going on?"”**

“Well, it’s breakfast time, love,” Sirius said, answering the McGonagall in the book, “And as usual, Malfoy is being a prick and Harry and Ron are being the brave little Gryffindors they are and Neville’s as clueless and lumpy as ever,” he said, and Lily shot him an amused look as the other two boys howled with laughter.

“Accurate explanation mate,” James chuckled, and Sirius covered his chest dramatically.

**“"Malfoy's got my Remembrall, Professor."”**

“Tattle-tale.”

“Sirius Black.”

“Lily Evans!”

“Okay fine! I’ll stop! No need to _maim_ me!”

“I didn’t _maim_ you,” she snorted as Sirius rubbed his forehead childishly.

“Might as well have,” he muttered, and Lily winked at James, who continued to chuckle along with Remus.

**“Scowling, Malfoy quickly dropped the Remembrall back on the table.**

**"Just looking," he said, and he sloped away with Crabbe and Goyle behind him.”**

“Minnie one, Malfoy zero,” Sirius said, and they all laughed.

**“At three-thirty that afternoon, Harry, Ron, and the other Gryffindors hurried down the front steps onto the grounds for their first flying lesson. It was a clear, breezy day, and the grass rippled under their feet as they marched down the sloping lawns toward a smooth, flat lawn on the opposite side of the grounds to the forbidden forest, whose trees were swaying darkly in the distance.”**

“Okay, even in my drowsy early morning state, I have to say that that is poetic,” Sirius said, and the other three chuckled

“What drowsy early morning state?” Lily asked, “You’re as annoying as ever.”

“Don’t you love it?” Sirius asked, “I made the effort for _you_ love.”

“Of course you did,” she said, rolling her eyes

“I did!”

“Yes, to annoy me,” she said, “Not to gain my affection.”

“That’s because I already have your affection,” Sirius said, grinning devilishly

**“The Slytherins were already there,”**

“AVADA KEDAVRA!” Sirius yelled, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus howled with laughter.

**“and so were twenty broomsticks in neat lines on the ground. Harry had heard Fred and George Weasley complain about the school brooms, saying that some of them started to vibrate if you flew too high, or always flew slightly to the left.”**

“Ruddy school brooms,” James muttered angrily, and the other two boys nodded in agreement while Lily simply shook her head fondly, lips pursed to avoid bursting out into laughter looking at the boys’ serious expressions.

**“Their teacher, Madam Hooch, arrived. She had short, gray hair, and yellow eyes like a hawk.”**

“She sounds scary,” Sirius said, shuddering.

“Hooch,” James chuckled, and both Lily and Remus burst out laughing at his childlike amusement.

“Really?” Sirius asked, smirking, and James nodded, giggling.

**“"Well, what are you all waiting for?" she barked. "Everyone stand by a broomstick. Come on, hurry up."”**

“No!” Sirius said, and the other three snorted

“Rebel,” Lily said sarcastically, and Sirius winked at her

**“Harry glanced down at this broom. It was old and some of the twigs stuck out at odd angles.”**

“I _hate_ the school brooms!” Sirius hissed, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two boys looked at him sympathetically.

**“"Stick out your right hand over your broom," called Madam Hooch at the front, "and say 'Up!'"”**

Simultaneously, all three boys held their right arms in front of them, Sirius’ sticking straight up as he was lying on his back, and said “Up.”

“You’re all ridiculous,” Lily said, smiling, as the three boys giggled like the little girls they truly were.

**“"UP!" everyone shouted.”**

“There was _no need_ to yell!” Remus squeaked, clasping his chest as James sniggered madly.

Remus had jumped violently, Lily had squeaked loudly, and Sirius had yelled out, rolling onto his stomach to hide his face in fear.

“You’re an insolent, conniving, horrible bloody arrogant toerag,” Lily said, and James winked at her as Sirius and Remus glared at him in agreement, Sirius looking rather adorable with his hair covering his face.

**“Harry's broom jumped into his hand at once, but it was one of the few that did.”**

The four of them suddenly had eyebrows perched high on their foreheads

“Really?” James said, his face a mask of shock.

“This should be interesting,” Sirius agreed, looking intrigued as he rolled back onto his back.

“Maybe he does have raw, natural talent,” Remus said, and James grinned happily as Lily sighed sadly

“What’s wrong with that?” Sirius asked her, and Lily sighed again.

“If he messes his hair up like the arrogant toerag James is, I’ll have to kill someone,” she said, and the boys laughed, James ruffling his hair nervously.

**“Hermione Granger's had simply rolled over on the ground, and Neville's hadn't moved at all. Perhaps brooms, like horses, could tell when you were afraid,”**

They all snorted in amusement

“Your child has _no_ self esteem whatsoever,” Sirius said, and James shook his head fondly.

“James was too possessive,” Lily said seriously, and Sirius and Remus burst out laughing as James shot her a sarcastically amused look.

“Of course,” Remus chuckled, “Cant ever separate Prongs and his ego.”

“That would be the end of the world!” Sirius gasped.

“I’m waking you lot up at 4 next Christmas,” James muttered, and the other three paled, causing a devilish smirk to grow on his face.

“You wouldn’t!” Sirius gasped

“Try me,” James replied, his eyes glinting madly.

**“though there was a quaver in Neville's voice that said only too clearly that he wanted to keep his feet on the ground.”**

Lily smiled sympathetically as the three boys snorted.

“Coward,” Sirius snickered.

“He’s a Gryffindor,” Lily shot back, and Sirius scowled as James and Remus snickered.

“Well done,” Remus said, “he can’t even say some are cowardly because we’d take a jab at him!” he said happily, and Lily grinned as Sirius huffed and crossed his arms across his chest.

**“Madam Hooch then showed them how to mount their brooms without sliding off the end, and walked up and down the rows correcting their grips. Harry and Ron were delighted when she told Malfoy he'd been doing it wrong for years.”**

They all smirked.

“Take _that_ Malfoy,” Sirius said, taking sadistic pleasure in something that hadn’t even happened yet.

“He probably got tips from his father,” James said seriously, and the two sniggered madly.

**“"Now, when I blow my whistle, you kick off from the ground, hard," said Madam Hooch. "Keep your brooms steady, rise a few feet, and then come straight back down by leaning forward slightly. On my whistle – three – two –"”**

“And James was already in the air,” Sirius said, and they all laughed

“I already knew what to do!” James said defensively, and Sirius winked at his best mate playfully.

“You weren’t much better,” Lily said, “You followed right after him!” she squeaked, and Sirius flushed slightly.

“I was responsible,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the two boys shot him sarcastic looks

“You jinxed Sirius’ broom!” Lily squeaked, and Remus shrugged as Sirius scowled at the memory of having a broom enjoy dangerously diving way too much.

“My feet were on the ground,” he said simply, and Lily shook her head amusedly.

**“But Neville, nervous and jumpy and frightened of being left on the ground, pushed off hard before the whistle had touched Madam Hooch's lips.”**

“Idiot,” the boys snorted simultaneously shaking their heads in irritation.

**“"Come back, boy!" she shouted, but Neville was rising straight up like a cork shot out of a bottle – twelve feet – twenty feet. Harry saw his scared white face look down at the ground falling away, saw him gasp, slip sideways off the broom and –**

**WHAM – a thud and a nasty crack and Neville lay facedown on the grass in a heap. His broomstick was still rising higher and higher, and started to drift lazily toward the forbidden forest and out of sight.”**

Lily gasped, holding her hand over her mouth, “Is he okay?” she squeaked, her voice sounding muffled

“He’s fine,” Sirius said, shaking his head amusedly at her motherly reaction.

“I hope he’s okay!” she squeaked, shaking her head quickly.

“He’s fine!” Remus said, and Lily bit her lip

“What’s going to happen to the broom?” Sirius asked, and James smirked at Lily’s scandalized expression

“How can you even _think_ of that?” she hissed, and Sirius flushed guiltily.

“He’s okay Ginger-Flower,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“He’s only a baby!” she squeaked, and the three boys exchanged a look that clearly stated they weren’t to mess with a motherly Lily.

**“Madam Hooch was bending over Neville, her face as white as his.”**

“See! She’s worried too!” Lily squeaked

“Yes, because she thinks her job is in jeopardy,” Sirius muttered, and Remus smirked in agreement.

**“"Broken wrist," Harry heard her mutter. "Come on, boy – it's all right, up you get."”**

“Poor baby,” Sirius cooed, and Lily threw him a scathing look as the other two boys covered up violent snorts of laughter

“A broken wrist _hurts_ ,” said Lily in a tone one would use to chastise a toddler.

“How would _you_ know?” Sirius countered

“Yeah Lily, you’ve never broken your wrist,” Remus said level headedly

“How do you know that?” Lily challenged

“Have you?” James gasped, and Lily nodded, “When? How?”

“Concerned?” Lily teased, and James pinked slightly as his two friends sniggered, “Yes I broke it when I was eight,” she said, absentmindedly twisting her left wrist around in a circle.

“How?” Sirius asked

“I fell out of a tree,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing

“What were you doing up in the tree in the first place?” Remus teased, and Lily grinned

“Climbing,” she said, and Sirius snorted

“For what?”

“Recreational activity,” Lily said, and the boys laughed

“Shouldn’t you have been, I don’t know, playing inside with dolls or something?” James teased, and Lily snorted

“I was hiding from Petunia in the tree because she wanted to play with the dollhouse,” she said darkly, and the boys burst out laughing

“And you didn’t want to?” Remus teased, and Lily shook her head

“I was _not_ a girly girl,” she said, “I liked to climb trees and blow things up,” she said, and the boys grinned.

“Are you sure you’re not a bloke on the inside?” Sirius teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

**“She turned to the rest of the class.**

**"None of you is to move while I take this boy to the hospital wing! You leave those brooms where they are or you'll be out of Hogwarts before you can say 'Quidditch.' Come on, dear."”**

“I hate when teachers say that,” Sirius said, “Don’t move!” he mimicked, “I mean, what are you supposed to do?” he asked, and the other three laughed.

**“Neville, his face tear-streaked, clutching his wrist, hobbled off with Madam Hooch, who had her arm around him.**

**No sooner were they out of earshot than Malfoy burst into laughter.”**

“ _Such_ an arse,” Lily muttered, and the boys grimaced in agreement.

“He is a nasty little snot, isn’t he?” Sirius said bitterly.

“How can you laugh at an injured person?” Lily gasped, and the boys chuckled at Lily’s overt niceness.

**“"Did you see his face, the great lump?"”**

“Want to see your face when I’m through with you?” James asked, and the others laughed.

“Will he be _able_ to see?” Sirius asked, and James winked, causing Sirius to laugh.

**“The other Slytherins joined in.”**

“Obviously,” Sirius muttered darkly.

**“"Shut up, Malfoy," snapped Parvati Patil.”**

“Who is this? I like her,” Sirius said happily, and Lily laughed

“She’s another Gryffindor,” she said, and he turned to her with raised eyebrows

“How do you know this?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Process of elimination,” she said, “There are only First Years there, and only Slytherin and Gryffindor. Since she’s telling Malfoy to shut up, she’s a Gryffindor,” she said, and Sirius nodded

“Not to mention the fact that she was mentioned in the sorting,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two laughed

“Her house wasn’t announced,” Lily said, and James frowned, “Her last name was just mentioned leading up to Harry’s,” she said smugly, and James looked towards the heavens as Lily flushed and the other two boys snickered.

**“"Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom?" said Pansy Parkinson, a hard-faced Slytherin girl. "Never thought _you'd_ like fat little cry-babies, Parvati."”**

“Rude,” Sirius sung, and Lily laughed, smacking his shoulder, “You know Ginger-Flower, if you keep touching me, Prongs may get jealous,” he said, and James snorted magnificently as Lily flushed and Remus chuckled.

**“"Look!" said Malfoy, darting forward and snatching something out of the grass. "It's that stupid thing Longbottom's Gran sent him."”**

“Oi! Don’t touch his ball!” Sirius gasped, and Lily hid her face in her knees as the boys sniggered at her reddening face

“Does the mention of balls make you awkward?” Remus teased, and Lily showed him her longest finger, “Lily!”

“I have _never_ seen you do that!” James gasped, and Lily shrugged

“It’s only used in critical situations,” she said, and Remus scowled as she winked at him and the other two Marauders laughed.

**“The Remembrall glittered in the sun as he held it up.”**

“Poetic,” Sirius snorted, and the others rolled their eyes.

**“"Give that here, Malfoy," said Harry quietly. Everyone stopped talking to watch.”**

“Finally!” Sirius squeaked, sitting up, “an _interesting_ scene!”

“Agreed,” James said, sitting up straight, “I was getting bored.”

“No you weren’t,” Remus snorted, and James shot him a look, “I’m frightened James.”

“I bet,” James said as Sirius and Lily laughed.

**“Malfoy smiled nastily.**

**"I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find – how about, up a tree?"”**

“Twat”

“Sirius ruddy _Black_!”

“Lily, I told you about the touching thing- bloody _ow_ woman!”

**“"Give it _here_!" Harry yelled, but Malfoy had leapt onto his broomstick and taken off. He hadn't been lying, he _could_ fly well. Hovering level with the topmost branches of an oak he called, "Come and get it, Potter!"”**

“Don’t do it!” Lily squealed as the three Marauders grinned mischievously

“He’ll get it,” James said, and Lily groaned

“He’s going to get in _so_ much trouble,” she muttered, and the boys shrugged

“What’s life without a little fun?” Sirius asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Safe,” she said, and the boys grimaced

“That does not sound fun,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes once again

“They’re going to fall out some day, I assure you,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled.

**“Harry grabbed his broom.”**

The boys hooted. Lily grimaced.

**“" _No!_ " shouted Hermione Granger. "Madam Hooch told us not to move – you'll get us all into trouble."”**

“ _Thank you_!” Lily said, and the boys shot her nasty looks

“Don’t side with the enemy!” Sirius hissed, and Lily rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her lips

“She’s not the enemy,” she chuckled, “She’s just a little girl.”

“Who is annoying as hell,” Sirius added, and Lily shook her head

“She’s responsible. Something you lot should learn,” she said, and the boys snorted

“I’m responsible!” Remus said defensively, “I’m a sodding Prefect, aren’t I?”

“And I’m going to be Head Boy,” James said

“And I have to be responsible enough to not kill them with my bare hands,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled as James and Remus snorted.

**“Harry ignored her.”**

“Good boy,” Sirius said, and winked at the seething Lily

“Come on Lily!” James whined, “You don’t want Malfoy to win!”

“Fine,” Lily huffed, crossing her arms, and James winked at Sirius, who grinned.

**“Blood was pounding in his ears. He mounted the broom and kicked hard against the ground and up, up he soared; air rushed through his hair, and his robes whipped out behind him – and in a rush of fierce joy he realized he'd found something he could do without being taught – this was easy, this was _wonderful_.”**

They all regarded the book in mild shock

“Well, that was unexpected,” Remus said, and James chuckled

“He _does_ have raw talent then,” he said, smiling proudly, and Lily looked at him oddly. His fatherly affection was twisting her mind in ways she could not comprehend. She was snapped out of her thoughts by a mad sniggering to her right.

“What?” she asked the manic Sirius, who was now silently laughing, tears in his eyes

“Malfoy is going to be _so_ scared,” he wheezed, and the other two boys sniggered as Lily felt a laugh bubble up her esophagus and escape her mouth without permission.

**“He pulled his broomstick up a little to take it even higher, and heard screams and gasps of girls back on the ground and an admiring whoop from Ron.”**

“Why are they _screaming_?” Lily asked incredulously

“I wouldn’t know,” James muttered, “You’re the girl.”

“But we’ve established that Lily’s a bloke at heart,” Sirius said, and James rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Why do they scream though?” Remus asked, and Lily snorted

“Attention?” she suggested, and the boys snickered.

“You, my dear, are a bitch,” Sirius said, and Lily grinned proudly, causing the boy to laugh.

**“He turned his broomstick sharply to face Malfoy in midair. Malfoy looked stunned.”**

Sirius grinned devilishly, “I have never been happier that you two shagged and had him,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed deep maroon as James grinned and Remus snorted.

**“"Give it here," Harry called, "or I'll knock you off your broom!"”**

“Like you can,” Lily said, and the boys laughed

“Aren’t you on his side?” Remus asked, and Lily sighed

“He’s being too much like James right now, it’s irritating me,” she said, and James scowled playfully as she winked at him and Sirius and Remus laughed, “Not to mention the fact that he shouldn’t make empty threats,” she said, and the boys grimaced in acceptance.

“Well he’s a good flier so far,” James reasoned, “Maybe it’s not an empty threat?”

“But he’s never done it before!” Lily argued, and James shrugged

“Doesn’t matter,” he said, and Lily sighed, running her hand through her hair.

**“"Oh, yeah?" said Malfoy, trying to sneer, but looking worried.”**

Sirius sniggered again.

“You’re not going to get over that, are you?” Lily teased, and Sirius shook his head childishly.

**“Harry knew, somehow, what to do.”**

James smiled smugly at Lily, who chose to ignore him, while his friends sniggered at her obvious disdain.

**“He leaned forward and grasped the broom tightly in both hands, and it shot toward Malfoy like a javelin.”**

“What’s a javelin?” James asked, and Lily sighed

“It’s like a stick that muggles throw,” she said, “to see who can throw it the furthest,” she said, and the boys rolled their eyes

“What a pathetic excuse for a sport,” James muttered, “Throwing sticks, honestly.”

“You throw balls,” Lily said, and James rolled his eyes

“That’s different! There’s an objective; to get it through the hoops and score a goal,” he said.

“Well, muggles have to throw it as far as they can to beat someone,” she said, “Isn’t that objective enough?”

“Don’t be smart,” James muttered, and his friends sniggered madly as Lily grinned triumphantly.

“At least I won this time,” she said, and James smirked.

**“Malfoy only just got out of the way in time; Harry made a sharp turn about to face Malfoy and held the broom steady. A few people below were clapping.”**

“Well, that is rather impressive,” Remus said, eyebrows high, “How does he know how to do this?”

“He’s already said he did somehow,” James said, frowning slightly, “That’s all it says about him knowing what to do.”

“Could it be because it’s in his blood?” Sirius asked

“I don’t think knowledge is hereditary though,” Lily said, “Otherwise we’d know everything our parents knew, and can you imagine how much easier our lives would be?” she asked, and the boys chuckled.

“Yes, but isn’t tendency hereditary?” James asked, “Like, you may have a tendency to, I don’t know, put on weight, that’s hereditary,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“So you’re suggesting that he’s been given a tendency to be good at Quidditch?” she asked, and James shrugged

“Makes sense to me,” he said, and Lily bit her lip, thinking, before sighing and nodding, much to James’ satisfaction and his friends’ amusement.

“Wow Lily, I think you’re losing your touch,” Remus said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Sirius laughed.

**“"No Crabbe and Goyle up here to save your neck, Malfoy," Harry called.**

**The same thought seemed to have struck Malfoy.”**

“Nice going Harry,” James laughed, and Lily rolled her eyes

**“"Catch it if you can, then!" he shouted, and he threw the glass ball high into the air and streaked back to the ground.”**

“He’s not going to be able to do it,” Sirius said, shaking his head violently, sitting up straighter.

“Nobody could,” James said, shaking his head similarly.

“Not on their first try at least,” Sirius said, and James nodded in agreement.

“Plus it’s not like this thing has wings,” James said, “Gravity is playing with this! It’s almost impossible!”

“Honestly you two,” Lily sighed, and the boys winked at her as Remus chuckled.

**“Harry saw, as though in slow motion, the ball rise up in the air and then start to fall. He leaned forward and pointed his broom handle down – next second he was gathering speed in a steep dive, racing the ball – wind whistled in his ears, mingled with the screams of people watching – he stretched out his hand – a foot from the ground he caught it, just in time to pull his broom straight, and he toppled gently onto the grass with the Remembrall clutched safely in his fist.”**

James, Sirius and Remus might as well have had their chins glued to the floor.

“No”

“Bloody”

“Way,” James breathed, eyes wide in wonder.

“A first year!” Sirius squeaked in amazement, “A _First Year_ Prongs!”

“That’s, well, wow, that’s just, whoa,” Remus said, shaking his head, at a loss for words

“A _foot_ from the ground?” James gasped, “ _Merlin_! That’s _amazing!_ ”

“And he didn’t hurt himself!” Sirius gasped

“He _dived_ whilst on his first time on a broom,” James said, shaking his head incredulously, “What the bloody hell is this?” he squeaked

“He doesn’t even need to bloody train,” Sirius said, and James shook his head in amazement

**“"HARRY POTTER!"”**

All four of them groaned

“McGonagall! You ruin _everything_ ,” Sirius whined, and Lily laughed.

**“His heart sank faster than he'd just dived.”**

“Show off,” Sirius muttered, and the others laughed.

**“Professor McGonagall was running toward them. He got to his feet, trembling.”**

“McGonagall can run?” James gasped

“I have _never_ seen her run,” Sirius gaped, and Lily giggled.

**“" _Never_ – in all my time at Hogwarts –"”**

“Now that’s a blatant lie,” James said, looking a tad insulted.

“Agreed,” Sirius said, “I mean, we did that!”

“Maybe she’s had a flashback,” Remus snorted, and the others chuckled.

“Or she’s purposely blocked out all memory of you twats,” Lily said cheekily, and the boys laughed.

**“Professor McGonagall was almost speechless with shock, and her glasses flashed furiously, "– how _dare_ you – might have broken your neck –"**

**"It wasn't his fault, Professor –"**

**"Be quiet, Miss Patil –"**

**"But Malfoy –"**

**"That's _enough_ , Mr. Weasley. Potter, follow me, now."”**

“That’s so sweet!” James grinned, “They stood up for him!”

“They’re Gryffindors,” Sirius said, as if it were obvious as to why they’d stood up for him.

**“Harry caught sight of Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle's triumphant faces as he left, walking numbly in Professor McGonagall's wake as she strode toward the castle.”**

“Don’t gloat Malfoy,” Lily muttered, “At least he can fly better than you.”

“Ouch Lily,” James said as the other two laughed, “You really know how to hurt a bloke!”

“Practice makes perfect,” she said, winking at James, who chuckled, shaking his head fondly.

**“He was going to be expelled, he just knew it.”**

“No you wont,” Lily said, shaking her head

“She’s right,” James said, “I wasn’t expelled.”

“And he hasn’t been expelled for the past six years despite everything either,” Lily said, and the three Marauders shot her scowls, and she grinned widely.

**“He wanted to say something to defend himself, but there seemed to be something wrong with his voice.”**

“Remember the expulsion scare?” Sirius asked James, who shuddered, as did Remus.

“That was scary,” Remus agreed, nodding

“When?” Lily asked curiously

“Third year,” James said, looking haunted at the memory.

“What did you lot do?” Lily asked incredulously, and the three boys shook their heads

“ _Never_ again,” James muttered, and the other two nodded in agreement.

**“Professor McGonagall was sweeping along without even looking at him; he had to jog to keep up. Now he'd done it. He hadn't even lasted two weeks. He'd be packing his bags in ten minutes. What would the Dursleys say when he turned up on the doorstep?”**

“Probably gloat,” Lily said, and the boys laughed

“Really? I’d expect disappointment,” Remus mused, and Lily shrugged

“The gloating would make him feel worse,” she said, and the boys nodded in understanding

**“Up the front steps, up the marble staircase inside, and still Professor McGonagall didn't say a word to him. She wrenched open doors and marched along corridors with Harry trotting miserably behind her.”**

“Why is she so silent?” Remus asked bewilderedly.

“She usually never stops yelling when she’s angry,” Sirius nodded, shaking his head on shock.

“Not even angry sniffing?” James squeaked, and they all shook their heads.

**“Maybe she was taking him to Dumbledore.”**

“No, that’s not that bad,” James said, shaking his head

“Agreed,” Sirius said, “If she’s barely taken _us_ to Dumbledore, she’s not taking you there,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

**“He thought of Hagrid, expelled but allowed to stay on as gamekeeper. Perhaps he could be Hagrid's assistant. His stomach twisted as he imagined it, watching Ron and the others becoming wizards while he stumped around the grounds carrying Hagrid's bag.”**

“This child is way too dramatic,” James chuckled, and the others laughed

“Well that’s only expected,” Remus said, “I mean, look at his parents!”

“Oi!” James squawked

“That’s uncalled for,” Lily said, shaking her head.

“He has a point,” Sirius snickered, and the legendary couple shot him angry glares.

**“Professor McGonagall stopped outside a classroom. She opened the door and poked her head inside.”**

“That’s odd, you’d expect her to just barge in there,” James said, and the others nodded in confusion.

**“"Excuse me, Professor Flitwick, could I borrow Wood for a moment?"”**

“What’s Wood?” Sirius asked, eyebrow quirked

“Sounds like something she’s going to beat him with,” James said.

“Don’t tell me they’ve introduced beatings at Hogwarts!” Sirius gasped, his face paling.

“Thank Merlin we’re not there anymore,” James said, shaking his head, and Sirius and Remus laughed nervously.

“Doesn’t sound like she’s asking for an object though,” Lily said, “Sounds more like she’s asking to borrow a person.”

“Who names their child Wood?” Sirius asked, bewildered

“ _Last_ name Black,” she said, rolling her eyes, and Sirius smiled sheepishly as Remus and James sniggered

“I think Lily’s right,” Remus said, and Lily smiled.

**“Wood? thought Harry, bewildered; was Wood a cane she was going to use on him?”**

“See,” Sirius said, gesturing to the book

“Yes, well done Sirius,” James said, rolling his eyes

“Oi! You thought it was a cane or something as well!” Sirius said, and James flushed slightly as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“But Wood turned out to be a person, a burly fifth-year boy who came out of Flitwick's class looking confused.”**

Lily smirked, and the three boys pinked slightly.

**“"Follow me, you two," said Professor McGonagall, and they marched on up the corridor, Wood looking curiously at Harry.”**

“What do you think is going on?” Sirius asked, and James frowned

“Quidditch?” he asked, and Remus’ jaw dropped

“No way! He’s a _first year_!” he hissed, and James shrugged

“It seems to make sense,” Lily said, frowning slightly, “And it’s not like they can’t bend the rules.”

“I thought you were one of those ‘rules are meant to be followed’ kinds of people,” Sirius teased, and Lily threw him a dark look as James and Remus laughed.

“They are,” she said, and the boys snorted simultaneously.

**“"In here."**

**Professor McGonagall pointed them into a classroom that was empty except for Peeves, who was busy writing rude words on the blackboard.”**

The boys all snorted

“I would love to walk into Transfiguration one day to see rude words written on the board,” Sirius laughed, and the others chuckled.

“McGonagall would go ballistic,” James agreed

“Yes, and blame you lot,” Lily said, and the boys grimaced.

“Being a troublemaker has so many disadvantages,” Sirius said dramatically, and the other two snickered as Lily shook her head fondly.

**“"Out, Peeves!" she barked. Peeves threw the chalk into a bin, which clanged loudly, and swooped out cursing. Professor McGonagall slammed the door behind him and turned to face the two boys.”**

“Peeves listened?” James asked incredulously

“He did make a lot of noise and then fly out cursing,” Remus reasoned, and James shrugged

“That’s ridiculous though! I can’t believe he actually left!”

“McGonagall did bark,” Sirius said, smirking slightly, and James snorted

**“"Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood – I've found you a Seeker."”**

James almost dropped the book in shock. Sirius had actually sat up, and was looking, slack jawed, at the book. Remus’ eyebrows were now part of his hairline. Lily’s face was the epitome of incredulity.

“No!” James gasped, looking down at it, “A First Year!”

“This is just, well, wow,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“This is not happening,” Lily said, shaking her head in bewilderment, “McGonagall did not just offer my eleven year old a position on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team,” she said, still shaking her head, “He’s going to get _killed_!”

“Why?” Sirius asked curiously

“Because he’s the _Seeker_!” she said, “The statistics show that they get hurt the most since they’re so important! Not the mention the fact that he’s Harry bleeding Potter and he defeated Voldemort and the Slytherins probably already hate him,” she said, and the boys looked at each other uncomfortably

“Nice to know you know so much about Quidditch,” James said after a couple seconds of awkward silence, and the other two boys snickered at the mischievous glint in James’ eyes and the pink blush on Lily’s face.

“Shut up,” she advised, “if he gets hurt, so help me Merlin. James Potter, I will kill you,” she said, and James’ eyebrows flew up as Remus and Sirius laughed

“Why me?” he squeaked

“Well, he obviously didn’t get Quidditch from _me_ ,” she said, rolling her eyes, and James flushed with pleasure under her rare compliment.

“He’ll be brilliant,” James said, rolling his eyes, “Leave him alone.”

**“Wood's expression changed from puzzlement to delight.**

**"Are you serious, Professor?"”**

“No, she’s joking,” Sirius said, and started laughing at his own joke.

“Honestly, what a fool,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head, “When does McGonagall use sarcasm?”

“It was an exclamation of delight,” Lily said, “Leave him alone.”

“Why?” James teased

“Because he’s going to train my baby not to get hurt,” she said, and the boys snorted.

“He’s not a baby Lily,” Sirius said, “Although a baby playing Quidditch would be _quite_ a sight,” he said, and the other boys laughed as Lily shook her head fondly.

**“"Absolutely," said Professor McGonagall crisply. "The boy's a natural. I've never seen anything like it. Was that your first time on a broomstick, Potter?"”**

“So she’s saying he’s better than me?” James pouted, and they all laughed

“And that’s saying something as she made you Captain in your Fourth Year,” Lily said, and the boys looked at her amusedly, “What?”

“Lily Evans, did you just _compliment_ me?” James asked, a smile playing on his lips, and Lily flushed

“Its fact James,” she said, rolling her eyes to cover up her reddened cheeks. James leaned forwards and kissed her cheek quickly, smiling.

“That’s alright Lily, one is allowed to say that they’re boyfriend is bloody brilliant,” he winked, and the other two laughed as Lily flushed.

**“Harry nodded silently. He didn't have a clue what was going on, but he didn't seemed to be being expelled, and some of the feeling started coming back to his legs.”**

“That’s a blatant lie,” Sirius said, “if you lost feeling in your legs you wouldn’t be able to stand up,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two Marauders snorted

“I absolutely loathe you,” she muttered, and saw James grin.

“What? You absolutely love me? Oh Lily,” Sirius cooed, throwing his arm around her shoulders. Lily sent him a nasty look, as did James, and Remus grinned.

“I don’t love you, I want you to get your hand off me,” she said, and Sirius grinned devilishly

“What was that? You want me to hurry up and shag you? Why Lily! I didn’t know you were so dirty!” he gasped, and Lily scowled, flushing, as Remus burst out laughing and James threw Sirius a warning look, to which he responded to with a playful wink, earning a grin from James. Boys and their silent conversations.

“Mate, you have to stop this,” James said dramatically, “You cannot talk about shagging my girlfriend, it’s against ethical code.”

“Damn,” Sirius muttered, before instantly brightening, “What about a threesome?” he asked, winking roguishly at Lily, who flushed a new shade of red that the boys weren’t sure existed

“Absolutely not,” James said bluntly, and Lily didn’t know whether to scowl at him for making it sound like they were having sex, or smile at him for saving her the torture of having Sirius wink at her like that again. She settled on ignoring the conversation and staring at the book, amusing all three boys to no end.

**“"He caught this thing in his hand after a fifty-foot dive," Professor McGonagall told Wood. "Didn't even scratch himself. Charlie Weasley couldn't have done it."”**

“Who?” Sirius asked, and James shrugged

“Weasley, Ron’s older brother,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Sirius flushed slightly

“He was Quidditch Captain,” Lily said, and Sirius looked at her incredulously

“HOW DO YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?” he asked, and Lily giggled as James and Remus snorted

“Magic of paying attention while someone’s reading,” she said, and Sirius snorted as his two friends laughed.

**“Wood was now looking as though all his dreams had come true at once.”**

“That would be such an amazing thing,” Sirius sighed longingly, and Lily laughed along with the two boys, “Nice to see your gorgeous smile, love,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly

“Stop flirting with me,” she said, and Sirius shook his head, winking at the glaring James.

**“"Ever seen a game of Quidditch, Potter?" he asked excitedly.”**

“No,” James said bitterly.

“Can you lot _stop_ answering everyone?” Lily squeaked, smiling too widely to come across as threatening.

“And what would you do if we didn’t?” Sirius teased, and Lily huffed, causing him to smirk triumphantly

“Why do I bother with you idiots?” she muttered rhetorically. Of course, the boys ignored her rhetoric’s

“Because you love us!” Sirius said happily, and Lily sighed angrily as the three boys grinned at her adorably.

“Say you love us Lily!” Remus teased, and Lily shook her head

“I wont continue reading until you say it,” James said, and Lily glared at him. They continued to look at her expectantly until she sighed

“Fine, I love you, whatever,” she said, and the boys grinned identically.

**“"Wood's captain of the Gryffindor team," Professor McGonagall explained.”**

“No shit,” James said, and the others laughed.

**“"He's just the build for a Seeker, too," said Wood, now walking around Harry and staring at him. "Light – speedy – we'll have to get him a decent broom, Professor – a Nimbus Two Thousand or a Cleansweep Seven, I'd say."”**

The boys’ jaws dropped longingly and Lily laughed.

“Two Thousand?” James breathed, “Merlin!”

“The Cleansweep _seven!_ ” Sirius squeaked, and James rolled his eyes

“Nimbus’s are better,” he said, and Sirius threw him a dirty look

“Absolutely not.”

“They are!”

“Does it really matter?” Lily asked, and the boys turned to her open-mouthed, “Er, I’m only joking?” she squeaked under their unnaturally angry stares, causing them all to laugh.

**“"I shall speak to Professor Dumbledore and see if we can't bend the first-year rule. Heaven knows, we need a better team than last year. _Flattened_ in that last match by Slytherin, I couldn't look Severus Snape in the face for weeks...."”**

“You can’t _ever_ look him in the face,” Sirius said, “I mean, why would you want to?”

“Shush,” Lily laughed, smacking his arm half-heartedly

“Lily, all this touching has _got_ to stop!” Sirius gasped, “I mean, you’d think you loved me more than Prongs! Then again…I’m pretty sure you do,” he said playfully, and Lily sighed as James glared and Remus laughed like a fool.

“I should have never even joked about that,” she muttered, and Sirius grinned devilishly.

“I find it depressing that the Gryffindor Quidditch Team is so pathetic,” James muttered, shaking his head sadly

“That’s because they don’t have you to brilliantly captain them,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes with sarcasm that James chose to ignore and grinned.

“Now that they’ve bent the First Year rule, the teams sure to do better,” Remus said, and Lily grinned

“I _knew_ they’d bend the rule,” she said happily, and the boys snorted

“Nobody ever denied it love,” James said, and Lily threw him a ‘don’t mess with me’ look, sending him into a sombre silence, greatly amusing his friends.

**“Professor McGonagall peered sternly over her glasses at Harry.**

**"I want to hear you're training hard, Potter, or I may change my mind about punishing you."”**

“She’s said that to me so many times,” James grinned, and Lily laughed

“She _never_ gives you detentions close to Quidditch games,” she laughed, and James winked

“Doesn’t give them to Sirius either,” he said, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“She knows you lot wouldn’t last without my excellent beating skills,” he said, and they all snorted.

**“Then she suddenly smiled.”**

Sirius yelled.

“That’s not _natural_!” James gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius howled with laughter

**“"Your father would have been proud," she said. "He was an excellent Quidditch player himself."”**

James looked down at the book in shock, a smile on his face. Lily noticed his eyes were shining more than usual. Oh Merlin, James Potter had tears in his eyes. His friends, seeming to notice this, exchanged a look before yelling out loudly, scaring Lily out of her skin

“I _knew_ McGonagall loved you for your stupid Quidditchness,” Sirius said bitterly, and Lily saw James chuckled slightly, before attempting to subtly wipe his eyes. She turned away to give him a second, knowing it would damage his precious ego if she saw him cry.

When he had successfully wiped his eyes, Lily smiled at him, and he grinned back at her. She looked down at the floor and James nodded thanks at his two best mates, who only winked back at him.

“Er, what do I do when there’s a divider?” James said, and they all looked at him, “Like, a scene change, or something,” he said, and Lily looked at him

“What are you saying?” she asked, and James chuckled as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Look!” he said, shoving the book in her face. Lily looked down at it and shrugged

“Just say something,” she said.

“Or sing!” Sirius exclaimed, “I mean, it’s a triple O so that would be OOOO!” Sirius sung in true opera style, and Lily and Remus laughed as James flushed

“I am _not_ doing that,” he said, and Sirius pouted dramatically

“How about _you_ sing and James can read?” Lily suggested, and the two boys beamed at her

**“oOo”**

“Well done Sirius,” Lily laughed, and Sirius winked. The other two Marauders were rolling on the floor laughing.

“You have a beautiful singing voice,” Remus choked.

“You should be a singer,” James agreed, shaking his head, grinning, “You’d but Celestina Warbock out of business,” he said, and Sirius snorted

“That shouldn’t be too hard to do,” he laughed, and they all laughed before James had enough sense to pick u the book, effectively ending their hysterical laughter.

**“"You're _joking_."”**

“Yes, I am,” James said, and started laughing. Sirius and Remus were trying to hold back immature laughter, and Lily was rolling her eyes, grinning like an idiot

“You know it’s too early in the morning when you find _that_ funny,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

**“It was dinnertime. Harry had just finished telling Ron what had happened when he'd left the grounds with Professor McGonagall, Ron had a piece of steak and kidney pie halfway to his mouth, but he'd forgotten all about it.”**

“Ah, I don’t blame you Ronald,” Sirius said in an overtly wise voice, “I can forgive your forgetting about food in this situation,” he said, and the others snorted with laughter

“I love how we’ve all started talking to a book,” Remus said, and Lily winked at him as the other two snorted.

**“" _Seeker_?" he said. "But first years _never_ – you must be the youngest player in about –"**

**"– century," said Harry, shoveling pie into his mouth. He felt particularly hungry after the excitement of the afternoon. "Wood told me."”**

“My son is the youngest player in a century,” James said, his eyes sparkling with pride. Lily smiled at the adorable crooked grin on James’ face and the other two sighed, shaking their heads

“Damn it,” Sirius muttered, “Your child is better than mine!”

“Sirius!” Lily squeaked as the boys roared with laughter.

**“Ron was so amazed, so impressed, he just sat and gaped at Harry.”**

“That’s rather rude,” Sirius muttered, and Lily smacked his arm again, “Do you just enjoy touching my bicep?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus snickered and James snorted, his eyes narrowed slightly.

“Yes Sirius,” Lily said sarcastically, and Sirius’ pouted as the other two Marauders laughed.

**“"I start training next week," said Harry. "Only don't tell anyone, Wood wants to keep it a secret."”**

“Smart move,” James agreed.

“Shut up Mr. Quidditch Captain,” Lily muttered, and Sirius and Remus laughed at James’ amused expression.

**“Fred and George Weasley now came into the hall, spotted Harry, and hurried over.**

**"Well done," said George in a low voice. "Wood told us. We're on the team too – Beaters."”**

“That’s _perfect_!” Remus laughed

“I know!” Sirius grinned, “I mean, good Beaters can communicate well with each other, can you imagine how deadly they’d be if they could practically read each others minds?” he laughed, and James frowned thoughtfully, “Please don’t replace me,” Sirius squeaked, and Lily and Remus burst out laughing as James grinned at Sirius.

“Not possible mate,” James aid, and Sirius grinned at him.

“Enough of this romance,” Remus said, and the two boys cleared their throats, looking away from each other, as Lily giggled.

**“"I tell you, we're going to win that Quidditch cup for sure this year," said Fred. "We haven't won since Charlie left, but this year's ream is going to be brilliant. You must be good, Harry, Wood was almost skipping when he told us."”**

James and Sirius beamed proudly. Lily shook her head fondly at them and Remus laughed at her reaction.

**“"Anyway, we've got to go, Lee Jordan reckons he's found a new secret passageway out of the school."”**

“New?” Sirius said, sitting up, eyebrow quirked

“No,” James snorted, “We would’ve found it,” he said, and Sirius nodded

“It’s probably one of those ridiculous ones that you can’t use,” Sirius said knowingly, and James nodded

“Like you know all the secret passageways,” Lily snorted, and the boys looked at her with insulted expressions.

“I’m genuinely insulted that you thought we didn’t,” James said.

“You do?” she gasped, and the three boys nodded, rolling their eyes, as if they were attempting to teach a top Auror how to disarm someone.

**“"Bet it's that one behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy that we found in our first week. See you."”**

“That one’s caved in,” James muttered, and the boys nodded grimly

“Hate that,” Sirius said, “It was _so_ convenient.”

“How did it cave in?” Lily asked, and the boys shrugged

“It was just caved in one day,” Remus said sadly.

“That was the easiest way to get supplies,” Sirius said, “Now we have to go through Honeydukes,” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“You’re not just messing with me, are you?” she said, and the boys shook their heads, their faces so honest that she couldn’t possibly believe they were lying.

“Wait,” Remus said, frowning, “They found it in their first week?” he asked, and the other two grinned widely

“They found it!” James squeaked, and Sirius grinned. As realization dawned on Remus, he grinned like a fool.

“Found what?” Lily asked, and the boys shook their heads

“Something we’re planning on leaving behind for the next generation of troublemakers,” James said simply, and Lily’s eyes narrowed, but she didn’t say anything after that.

**“Fred and George had hardly disappeared when someone far less welcome turned up: Malfoy, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle.”**

“TELL HIM!” Sirius yelled excitedly, and the other three shook their heads

“What part of secret do you not understand?” Remus asked, and then bit his lip guiltily as Sirius’ face fell. An awkward silence descended on the Marauders as memories of that Full Moon night in their fifth year ran through their minds, the night when Severus Snape was almost turned into a werewolf because of Sirius’ stupidity, until Lily cleared her throat.

“Moving on?” she suggested, knowing this was something they were not going to tell her.

**“"Having a last meal, Potter? When are you getting the train back to the Muggles?"**

**"You're a lot braver now that you're back on the ground and you've got your little friends with you," said Harry coolly.”**

The three boys snickered and Lily shook her head in exasperation.

“Your son is my new favorite person,” Sirius said, and James laughed.

**“There was of course nothing at all little about Crabbe and Goyle, but as the High Table was full of teachers, neither of them could do more than crack their knuckles and scowl.”**

“Oh, I’m so scared,” Sirius gasped, pretending to quake with fear, and Lily giggled as the other two shook their heads fondly.

**“"I'd take you on anytime on my own," said Malfoy. "Tonight, if you want. Wizard's duel. Wands only – no contact. What's the matter? Never heard of a wizard's duel before, I suppose?"”**

“WHAT?” Lily squeaked, “No, absolutely not,” she said, shaking her head sternly.

“But Lily!” James whined, “He can’t back out! He’ll come across as a coward!”

“Who bloody _cares_?” she said harshly

“I do!” James said

“So do I!” Sirius cut in, and Lily turned her angry glare on him.

“He will not be going!” she hissed, and the boys rolled their eyes, “All this Gryffindor chauvinism and idiocy is ridiculous,” she said, and Remus chuckled at James’ and Sirius’ insulted expressions.

“IT wont be so bad Lily,” Remus reasoned, “I mean, they’re first years, what can they do?” he asked, and Lily shook her head

“That’s not the point,” she said, and Remus frowned as James snorted, “It’s the fact that he’ll think its okay to do these things!” she said, and Remus rolled his eyes at the paranoid sixteen-year-old girl as the other two boys shook their heads fondly.

**“"Of course he has," said Ron, wheeling around. "I'm his second, who's yours?"”**

“You don’t need a bloody second,” Sirius snorted, “The most you can do is wave your wands around, nothings going to _happen_ ,” he said, and the other three laughed

“Who knows, maybe they’ll shoot out sparks and it’ll hit a curtain that’ll fall on someone and they’ll burn to death,” James said, and they all turned to look at him incredulously, causing him to flush, “Erm…I mean…”

“Okay,” Lily said bluntly, trying to cover up her laughter as Sirius and Remus shook with silent laughter next to her and James’ complexion darkened.

**“Malfoy looked at Crabbe and Goyle, sizing them up.**

**"Crabbe," he said. "Midnight all right? We'll meet you in the trophy room; that's always unlocked."”**

“Don’t go,” Lily said, shaking her head, “You’ll get in trouble.”

“I doubt Malfoy’ll even show up,” Sirius snorted, “Bloody coward.”

“Then what’s the point of organizing it?” Remus asked, and James snorted

“It’s a trap, mate,” James said, and Remus nodded in understanding.

“I think you’ve been spending too much time with Wormtail,” Sirius muttered, and James laughed as Lily clicked her tongue disapprovingly and Remus chuckled.

**“When Malfoy had gone, Ron and Harry looked at each other.**

**"What _is_ a wizard's duel?" said Harry. "And what do you mean, you're my second?"”**

“My poor uninformed baby,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

**“"Well, a second's there to take over if you die," said Ron casually, getting started at last on his cold pie.”**

“Oh yes, lets just throw death around like it’s a joke and eat pie,” Remus said, and the other three laughed.

**“Catching the look on Harry's face, he added quickly, "But people only die in proper duels, you know, with real wizards. The most you and Malfoy'll be able to do is send sparks at each other. Neither of you knows enough magic to do any real damage. I bet he expected you to refuse, anyway."”**

“Thank you Ronald,” Lily said, grinning, “I can’t believe Harry was actually scared.”

“Oi! Leave the poor boy alone! Nobody fancies ending their lives,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus sniggered at Sirius’ defiant expression.

**“"And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?"**

**"Throw it away and punch him on the nose," Ron suggested.”**

They all burst out laughing.

“He’s got the right attitude, that one,” James chuckled, and the others nodded in agreement.

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Sirius mused, “I mean, nobody would ever expect that, even in a normal duel.”

“Yes, but in a normal duel they can kill you so you wouldn’t need to punch them in the face because you’d be dead,” Lily said bluntly, and the boys burst out laughing.

**“"Excuse me."**

**They both looked up. It was Hermione Granger.”**

“You’re excused,” James said pleasantly

“Yes, now leave,” Sirius advised, and Lily sighed deeply, “Lily, would you mind saving those noises for when you and Prongs are alone?” he asked, and Lily shrieked as James flushed and Remus sniggered madly.

“You-insolent-bloody- _arse_!” Lily screeched, accentuating every word with a slap to the back of Sirius’ head.

“Oi! Woman!” he yelled, holding the back of his head, “That bloody _hurt_!”

“It was supposed to,” she said nastily, and Sirius grinned wickedly and winked at James, who chuckled silently.

**“"Can't a person eat in peace in this place?" said Ron.”**

“No,” Lily said solemnly, and the boys laughed.

**“Hermione ignored him and spoke to Harry.”**

“Oi! Don’t ignore my Ronald!” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I would’ve ignored him too,” she said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her

“So would’ve I but that’s not the point,” he said, and Lily giggled.

**“"I couldn't help overhearing what you and Malfoy were saying –"**

**"Bet you could," Ron muttered.”**

“Ron!” Lily laughed, as the three boys snickered.

“He has a valid point,” James said, and they all chuckled.

**“"—and you _mustn't_ go wandering around the school at night, think of the points you'll lose Gryffindor if you're caught, and you're bound to be. It's really very selfish of you."”**

“Thank you for being the only sensible one around,” Lily said, and the boys snorted

“Sensible people are no fun,” Sirius muttered, and Lily raised her eyebrow at him in a threatening manner, causing him to grin sheepishly.

**“"And it's really none of your business," said Harry.**

**"Good-bye," said Ron.”**

“Harry!” Lily squawked, as the boys sniggered madly

“Look like he’s more James’ son than yours now,” Remus said, and Lily pouted.

“I hate this,” she groaned, “How have I wronged the universe in order to deserve this?” she asked, and Remus and Sirius snorted as James’ jaw dropped

“I’m not that bad!”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Lily muttered darkly, and Remus and Sirius snickered as James blinked, taken aback.

“Sirius,” James said, and Sirius looked at him, “You have to sing again,” he said, sounding sombre, and Sirius grinned wickedly.

**“oOo”**

“Thanks,” James chuckled, as Lily and Remus howled with laughter and Sirius grinned proudly. He had chosen, this time, to sing in a deep baritone and carry it on for so long that the time taken for that one note could challenge the length of Dumbledore’s beard.

**“All the same, it wasn't what you'd call the perfect end to the day, Harry thought, as he lay awake much later listening to Dean and Seamus falling asleep (Neville wasn't back from the hospital wing).”**

“It was a perfect day to any day,” Remus muttered, “Let alone one where you make history.”

“Because that’s oh so new for him, right?” Sirius said, and they all laughed.

“Oi,” Lily said, after recovering from her giggles, “No knocking my son.”

“I assure you, I will never knock your son,” Sirius said, “You, on the other hand-“ Lily flushed darkly as James narrowed his eyes to slits. Remus shot Sirius a sympathetic look and nodded towards James, causing Sirius’ face to pale

“It was a joke!” Sirius squeaked, but that did nothing to change the expression on James’ face.

“You’re on probation,” James said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as Remus grimaced and Lily quirked an eyebrow

“Er, what?” she asked, and Remus sighed

“As a best mate,” Remus said, “If you don’t behave long enough for the other one to feel better, you’re kicked out of the dorm for a night, and are forced to sleep in the Astronomy Tower,” Remus said, “And your wand is confiscated.”

“Isn’t that a little severe?” Lily asked, and the boys all shook their heads

“In Fifth Year I had to spend a week in the Astronomy Tower after the, er, Incident,” Sirius said, and both Remus and James shrugged

“You deserved it.”

“That I did,” Sirius sighed.

“Still, that sounds extremely mean,” Lily said, and the boys grinned

“Just don’t get yourself on probation, yeah?” James suggested, and Lily laughed as Sirius pouted.

“Am I _really_ on probation?” he asked sadly, and James sighed before shaking his head.

“No, but only because it’s Christmas,” he said, and Sirius grinned widely.

“I _love_ you!” he yelled happily, and James rolled his eyes amusedly.

**“Ron had spent all evening giving him advice such as "If he tries to curse you, you'd better dodge it, because I can't remember how to block them."”**

They all laughed

“That’s reassuring,” Lily giggled, and the boys continued to laugh.

**“There was a very good chance they were going to get caught by Filch or Mrs. Norris, and Harry felt he was pushing his luck, breaking another school rule today.”**

“Ah Harrykins,” Sirius said, and Lily scowled at the nickname, much to James’ amusement, “there’s nothing wrong with breaking school rules!”

“Yes, there is,” Lily said, shaking her head sternly

“Well, what’s life without a few rules broken?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head

“I’m not going to win, am I?” she asked Remus, who shook his head, grinning.

**“On the other hand, Malfoy's sneering face kept looming out of the darkness – this was his big chance to beat Malfoy face-to-face. He couldn't miss it.”**

“I hate you,” Lily said, glaring at James who grinned at her sheepishly as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

**“"Half-past eleven," Ron muttered at last, "we'd better go."”**

“No!” Lily whined, and the boys grinned mischievously

“Oh Lily,” Sirius laughed, “You worry too much.”

**“They pulled on their bathrobes,”**

“Because that’s what one wears during a wizards duel,” Sirius said, and Lily burst out laughing.

“Yes, that is also what one wears in front of their enemy,” James agreed, and Sirius snorted as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“picked up their wands, and crept across the tower room, down the spiral staircase, and into the Gryffindor common room. A few embers were still glowing in the fireplace, turning all the armchairs into hunched black shadows.”**

Sirius turned to Lily, who sighed, and nodded for him to continue, earning a breathtaking grin, “That was _so_ poetic!” Sirius squealed, and Lily sighed in defeat as James and Remus laughed

“That’s good,” Lily said, “Every girl dreams of a man who does that stuff,” she said, and the boys jaws dropped to the floor.

“WHAT?” James bellowed, and Lily nodded

“All girls dream of writers and poets who will talk to them in riddles and kiss their smiles and all that other knight in shining armor rubbish,” she said, and the boys grinned

“Do you?” Sirius teased, and Lily sighed dramatically

“I had to give it all up since some cruel god decided to just go ahead and stick me with Potter,” she said, and both Sirius and Remus roared with laughter at James’ wounded expression.

**“They had almost reached the portrait hole when a voice spoke from the chair nearest the fire, "I can't believe you're going to do this, Harry."”**

Sirius groaned loudly, “Hermione bloody Granger,” he muttered, and Lily grinned happily as he scowled at her obvious glee.

“She’s such a sensible little girl,” Lily said happily, “Thank Merlin he has good influence, and not just Ron.”

“Oi!” Sirius yelled, “Ron is perfectly acceptable company!”

“But he’s not sensible,” Lily said wisely, and Sirius rolled his eyes as Remus and James grinned, “And once sensible influence is inflicted, he’ll be a good little boy,” she said happily, and the other three snorted

“Being around a sensible bird will do nothing to help their character,” Sirius said, and Lily grinned as James gasped and Remus’ eyebrows shot up

“Merlin,” James gasped, “Since we’ve been with Lily we haven’t pulled a single prank!” he gasped, and Sirius’ jaw dropped in shock as Lily grinned wider

“LILY EVANS!”

“I know,” she cooed, patting Sirius on the cheek, and he huffed angrily

“The second we finish this book, I’m going to pull a prank _so large_ you will be cowering,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus’ eyes twinkled mischievously, the inklings of plans brimming in their minds.

**“A lamp flickered on. It was Hermione Granger, wearing a pink bathrobe and a frown.”**

“That is the most dramatic entrance _ever_ ,” Sirius declared, and they all laughed.

“If only her chair spun around or something,” James said sadly, and Sirius pouted.

**“" _You!_ " said Ron furiously. "Go back to bed!"”**

“Yes Ronald, because that’s going to work,” Lily said, and the boys snickered.

**“"I almost told your brother," Hermione snapped, "Percy – he's a prefect, he'd put a stop to this."”**

“That’s rather uncalled for,” Sirius said, and turned to glare at Lily, “Don’t you dare stick up for her this time.”

“I wasn’t going to!” Lily squeaked as James and Remus roared with laughter.

**“Harry couldn't believe anyone could be so interfering.”**

“You obviously have not met your parents,” Remus said bluntly, and both Lily and James shrieked in indignation as Sirius sniggered darkly.

**“"Come on," he said to Ron. He pushed open the portrait of the Fat Lady and climbed through the hole.**

**Hermione wasn't going to give up that easily. She followed Ron through the portrait hole, hissing at them like an angry goose.”**

“Were her feathers flying everywhere?” Sirius asked, his face straight, and Lily giggled madly as James and Remus chuckled.

“She sounds just like Lily,” Remus laughed, and Lily grinned proudly

“Nice to know I’m so responsible,” she said happily, and the boys rolled their eyes.

**“"Don't you _care_ about Gryffindor, do you _only_ care about yourselves? _I_ don't want Slytherin to win the house cup, and you'll lose all the points I got from Professor McGonagall for knowing about Switching Spells."”**

“She has a point,” James said, and Sirius threw him a nasty look, “shutting up now.”

**“"Go away."”**

“Thank you,” Sirius sung, and Lily scowled as James and Remus laughed

**“"All right, but I warned you, you just remember what I said when you're on the train home tomorrow, you're so –"”**

“Why do people always say that?” Sirius asked, “You’ll be on the train home tomorrow and you’ll be sorry, or something along those lines,” he said, shaking his head.

“It’s lost its thrill after six years of the same threat,” James agreed, and Sirius winked as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“But what they were, they didn't find out.”**

“Because she died?” Sirius asked hopefully, and Lily glared at him, “Sorry that was mean.”

“Yes, it was,” said Lily bluntly, whacking the back of his head, and Sirius grinned sheepishly as James and Remus laughed.

**“Hermione had turned to the portrait of the Fat Lady to get back inside and found herself facing an empty painting. The Fat Lady had gone on a nighttime visit and Hermione was locked out of Gryffindor tower.”**

“I _hate_ it when that happens,” Lily muttered, and the boys looked at her, eyebrows raised

“What are _you,_ Lily Evans, doing outside at a time like that?” Remus asked, and Lily flushed, causing the boys to grin and James’ eyes to narrow slightly.

“Meet people?” she squeaked, and both Sirius and Remus sniggered as James looked away from her, pretending not to listen, his jaw clenched.

“Saucy,” Sirius said, winking, and Lily flushed.

“Not like that!” she said, and they smirked, even James.

“Sure,” James said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

“Who would’ve thought, Lily Evans, a broom closet snogger!” Sirius gasped, and Lily smacked the back of his head as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“I didn’t know that,” James chuckled, and Remus grinned wickedly

“Well, you will,” he said, and James winked at Lily, who was flushing madly, as Sirius and Remus laughed at her.

**“"Now what am I going to do?" she asked shrilly.”**

“You’re the genius,” Sirius mocked, and Lily glared at him.

“If you don’t shut up _right now_ ,” she said, and he grinned at her.

“What? What are you going to do?”

“Well, since ‘balls’ has come up so often, there are things one can do to them,” Lily said, gesturing to her wand, and Sirius paled, crossing his legs instantly, causing Remus and James to roar with laughter.

**“"That's your problem," said Ron. "We've got to go, we're going to be late."”**

“‘That’s your problem’,” Remus chuckled

“Dong laugh!” Lily squeaked, “That’s so mean!”

“Well, it is her problem, not theirs,” James said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him, causing him to grin at her.

**“They hadn't even reached the end of the corridor when Hermione caught up with them.**

**"I'm coming with you," she said.”**

“No!” Sirius moaned, and Lily turned to face, him causing him to jam his legs together.

“They’ll need her,” Remus chuckled, “She’s make a better second than Ron anyway.”

“Touché,” James laughed, shaking his head, “At least she knows how to do magic.”

“That is also true,” Sirius said solemnly, “Fine Hermione, you can come along.”

“Because she really needs _your_ permission,” Lily muttered, and Remus and James laughed at Sirius’ wounded expression.

**“"You are _not_."**

**"D'you think I'm going to stand out here and wait for Filch to catch me? If he finds all three of us I'll tell him the truth, that I was trying to stop you, and you can back me up."”**

“That’s so mean!” James squawked, gaping open-mouthed at the book in his hands, “how could anyone _do_ that?” he asked, and the others shook their heads

“You have to admit hat’s a rather snotty thing to do,” Sirius said, looking at Lily, who sighed

“It is,” she said, shaking her head, “Plus, it probably wouldn’t work anyway, and she’d still get in trouble for being out so late,” she said, and the boys smirked.

“Okay, she can go along,” James said happily, and Lily glared at him, a glare he chose not to see.

**“"You've got some nerve –" said Ron loudly.**

**"Shut up, both of you!" said Harry sharply. "I heard something."”**

“What a hothead,” Remus laughed, “Ron,” he said, in reference to the confused faces looking at him.

“Ah, it’s only expected,” Sirius said, “he’s a ginger.”

“Hey!” Lily whined, and James snorted

“I don’t think you have a defense Lil,” he said, “Your temper is legendary,” he winked, and Lily flushed as the other boys laughed

“Seems like Harry got her sternness,” Sirius laughed, and Lily grinned

“‘Shut up, both of you!’” Remus mimicked, and the other grinned

“That does sound a lot like Lily,” Sirius agreed, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling.

“I never say that,” she said, and James laughed, causing her to flush again.

**“It was a sort of snuffling.”**

“Mrs. Norris?” James suggested.

**“"Mrs. Norris?" breathed Ron, squinting through the dark.”**

James grinned, and the others laughed at his ridiculous euphoria.

“Yes well done James, you have the same intellectual level as an eleven year old,” Lily said, and James pouted as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“It wasn't Mrs. Norris.”**

“Merlin mate, you can’t do anything!” Sirius gasped, and James scowled as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“It was Neville. He was curled up on the floor, fast asleep, but jerked awake as they crept nearer.”**

“Hobo,” Sirius said, and they all burst out laughing

“You’re so mean!” Lily squealed, laughing.

“What the hell is he doing on the floor? In a corridor?” James asked, and Sirius grinned

“See? He’s a hobo.”

“You’re an arse,” Lily said, and Sirius grinned

“That’s so sweet!” James cooed, and Lily turned her glare on him as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Arse,” she said again, and James laughed

“Thinking about my arse already? I knew I picked a winner,” he winked, and Lily flushed as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

**“"Thank goodness you found me! I've been out here for hours, I couldn't remember the new password to get in to bed."”**

“Pathetic,” Remus snorted and the others chuckled.

“Couldn’t he just go ask someone?” Lily asked, and the boys grinned

“That’s why he’s a pathetic lump Lily, because he’s not brilliant like you,” Sirius cooed, pinching her cheek, and she slapped his hand away, smiling, as the boys laughed.

**“"Keep your voice down, Neville. The password's 'Pig snout' but it won't help you now, the Fat Lady's gone off somewhere."”**

“Yes, believe it or not, they have lives, as she’s only too kind to remind me of,” Lily said, and the boys grimaced.

“I know right?” James asked, and Lily nodded bitterly

“And then when she gets irritable when people just say the password and don’t ask her about her life,” Sirius said, and the others laughed

“Some people are just so self absorbed,” Remus said, as Sirius inspected his bicep for some reason.

“I know!” he said, and the others rolled their eyes amusedly.

**“"How's your arm?" said Harry.”**

“Look at your good little boy,” Sirius teased Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him, smiling proudly.

**“"Fine," said Neville, showing them. "Madam Pomfrey mended it in about a minute."”**

“As usual,” James chuckled.

**“"Good – well, look, Neville, we've got to be somewhere, we'll see you later –"**

**"Don't leave me!" said Neville, scrambling to his feet, "I don't want to stay here alone, the Bloody Baron's been past twice already."”**

They all winced

“Fine, you can go along with them,” James said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped

“Another one?” he squeaked, “Can we at least ditch one?”

“No,” Lily said, “Because you’ll ditch Hermione, and we’ve established that she’s needed.”

“Bloody hell,” Sirius muttered, and James and Remus grinned as Lily smiled smugly.

**“Ron looked at his watch and then glared furiously at Hermione and Neville.**

**"If either of you get us caught, I'll never rest until I've learned that Curse of the Bogies Quirrell told us about, and used it on you."”**

“Bless them, they don’t know the Bat-Bogey Hex yet,” Sirius sniffed, and the others laughed.

“I do,” Lily said, looking pointedly at Sirius, who grinned sheepishly as Remus and James laughed.

**“Hermione opened her mouth,”**

“Probably to explain the Bat-Bogey Hex,” Remus muttered, and the other three laughed.

**“perhaps to tell Ron exactly how to use the Curse of the Bogies,”**

“HA! See?” Remus said, and the others laughed once again.

“You’re insane Remus,” Lily said, and Remus smiled at her.

“A Marauder never gets tired of hearing that,” he said, and the other two grinned as Lily rolled her eyes.

**“but Harry hissed at her to be quiet and beckoned them all forward.”**

“My son, the leader,” James said dramatically grasping his chest, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling slightly, as Remus and Sirius snorted.

“He obviously didn’t get it from you,” Sirius said, and James’ jaw dropped

“But I’m Head Marauder!” he squawked, and the other boys snorted magnificently.

“YOU ARE NOT!”

“BOLLOCKS!”

“I AM!”

“NO!”

“NO I AM!”

“I AM!”

“NO I AM”

“OI! WHAT ABOUT ME?”

“Shut up, all of you,” Lily said in a eerily calm voice, that got the boys to be quiet, “How about we ask some poor defenseless Ravenclaw First Year at breakfast?” she suggested, and the boys grinned at her.

“Excellent idea love,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes fondly.

**“They flitted along corridors striped with bars of moonlight from the high windows. At every turn Harry expected to run into Filch or Mrs. Norris, but they were lucky.”**

“After a while, that fear dies down,” James said wisely, and Lily glared at him, “What?”

“She doesn’t approve of your night time antics,” Sirius said, and James snorted

“She’ll have to deal with it,” he said, grinning at Lily, who raised her eyebrows at him in a faux threatening manner

“Oh really?” she challenged, and James winked at her.

“You know you love it,” James said, and Lily snorted, shaking her head

“I don’t, I really don’t.”

“Yes! You do!” James said, “You love the bad boy thing,” he said, and Lily flushed, “It makes your stomach flutter.”

“No it doesn’t!” she said indignantly, and the boys all smirked at her reddened cheeks and the answer they gave away.

**“They sped up a staircase to the third floor and tiptoed toward the trophy room.”**

“Bloody hate that room,” Sirius muttered

“Amount of times we’ve had to clean it,” James snorted, shaking his head, and Lily giggled at the looks of disgust on the Marauders faces

“I mean, _how_ do trophy’s get so dirty?” Sirius asked, and James shook his head.

“Remember when we had to clean them three nights in a row?” James asked, and Sirius snorted

“What people do with those trophies, I never want to know,” he said, and James grimaced as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Malfoy and Crabbe weren't there yet.”**

“They’re not coming,” Sirius said bitterly, “Unreliable berks.”

“I think devious villains works as well,” Lily said, and Sirius barked a laugh as Remus and James snickered.

“‘Devious villains’?” Sirius wheezed, and Lily flushed, “Only you would come up with such ridiculous words, love.”

“They’re not ridiculous!” Lily squeaked as James and Remus laughed.

“Yes, love, they are,” James said, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“They are not! They’re just words!”

“Yes, but they’re ridiculous words,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes, causing him to grin and kiss her on the cheek.

“Merlin, what’s with all this sudden affection?” Remus grumbled, turning away as James continued to kiss Lily’s cheek, inching closer to her mouth.

“Feeling left out Moony?” James teased, stopping to grin at his friend, “I’ll get you next if you like!”

“Fuck you,” Remus muttered as James and Sirius roared with laughter and Lily giggled.

“Remus! Language!” Lily teased, and Remus shook his head fondly as the three of them laughed.

**““The crystal trophy cases glimmered where the moonlight caught them. Cups, shields, plates, and statues winked silver and gold in the darkness.”**

Sirius sighed, grasping his chest dramatically, “Sex to my ears,” he said, and the other three burst out laughing.

“My voice?” James teased, and Sirius batted his eyelashes at James, who winked back.

“What have I gotten myself into?” Lily asked, and Remus laughed as Sirius and James grinned sheepishly

“Don’t worry love, you’re still my one and only,” James said, smiling sweetly at her, and Lily flushed slightly.

“You disgust me,” Sirius said, his face contorted.

“You disgust me too, Sirius,” Lily said, and Sirius rolled his eyes, fighting a grin, as Remus and James laughed.

**“They edged along the walls, keeping their eyes on the doors at either end of the room. Harry took out his wand in case Malfoy leapt in started at once.”**

“He’s not that clever,” Sirius said, and the other three snorted

**“The minutes crept by.**

**"He's late, maybe he's chickened out," Ron whispered.”**

“Eve I have to admit that he hasn’t,” Sirius said sadly, “Pricks just too clever for you.”

“Sirius Orion Black,” Lily said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“How do you know my middle name?” he squawked, and Lily shrugged, grinning, “No this simply wont do,” Sirius groaned, “It’s only fair that you tell me yours,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Absolutely not, I found out on my own terms, you’ll have to do that as well,” she said, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at her, as did James and Remus.

“Please?” James coaxed, and Lily shook her head stubbornly.

“Tell or I’ll make him snog you into submission!” Remus said, and James and Sirius laughed as Lily snorted.

“Oh no,” Lily deadpanned, and Remus scowled at her as James and Sirius snickered.

“I’ll have you know, Moony, that snogging me is not punishment,” James said

“I would know,” Sirius said, and James snorted as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“Then a noise in the next room made them jump. Harry had only just raised his wand when they heard someone speak – and it wasn't Malfoy.**

**"Sniff around, my sweet, they might be lurking in a corner."”**

“RUN!” the three Marauders yelled, and Lily grimaced.

“Filch,” she muttered, “Malfoy’s a smart bastard,” she said, and the boys snorted in agreement.

“And you yelled at _me_ for language,” Remus muttered, and Lily winked at him as James and Sirius laughed

“Admittedly,” Sirius said, “Malfoy was bloody clever.”

“Agreed,” James sighed, “But I would never admit it in front of the Wizengamot,” he added, and the other three laughed.

**“It was Filch speaking to Mrs. Norris.”**

“Thanks.”

“Never would’ve known without your statement.”

“Obvious statement at that.”

**“Horror-struck, Harry waved madly at the other three to follow him as quickly as possible; they scurried silently toward the door, away from Filch's voice. Neville's robes had barely whipped around the corner when they heard Filch enter the trophy room.**

**"They're in here somewhere," they heard him mutter, "probably hiding."”**

“Of course, Neville would be the last out,” Remus said, and Sirius’ eyes twinkled madly

“THE FAT JOKES ARE BACK!” he yelled gleefully, and Lily groaned as James and Remus snickered. She crawled over to James, away from Sirius who was trying to hug her, and hid her face in his shoulder.

“Make it stop,” she whined, her voice muffled, and James chuckled, kissing the top of her head quickly.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that love,” he said, and Lily groaned again, and violently punched James’ arm, “OW!”

“It’s your fault,” she said, and James rolled his eyes as Sirius and Remus snickered.

“Don’t _abuse_ my arm,” he muttered, and Lily rubbed the part she had punched with a feather light touch.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” James chuckled, putting his arm around her as she turned her face so she was simply resting her head on his shoulder, looking down at the book.

**“"This way!" Harry mouthed to the others and, petrified, they began to creep down a long gallery full of suits of armor. They could hear Filch getting nearer. Neville suddenly let out a frightened squeak and broke into a run –“**

“What the hell,” Sirius said bluntly, shaking his head, “I mean, WHERE is your Gryffindor courage? WHY were you placed in Gryffindor? WHY did your parents ever bother to shag and create you? Where was the sanity in that?”

“Er, mate?” James cut in amusedly as Lily and Remus shook with silent laughter. Sirius flushed, causing the others to burst out laughing.

“That just made my day,” Lily said, and Sirius beamed brightly

“I MADE YOUR DAY?” he asked happily, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered.

“It’s still early, there’s a lot of the day left,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

**“he tripped, grabbed Ron around the waist, and the pair of them toppled right into a suit of armor.”**

“He tripped because he’s so large that gravity has extra effect on him,” Sirius said automatically, and breathed in deeply, a content smile on his face, “Merlin I’ve missed this.”

“Tosser,” Lily muttered, and saw James grin and ruffle his hair out of the corner of her eyes.

**“The clanging and crashing were enough to wake the whole castle.”**

“Exaggeration,” Remus muttered.

“ITS SO LOUD BECAUSE SOMEONE SO LARGE KNOCKED INTO IT!” Sirius yelled, causing the rest of them to jump, “FAT JOKES HAVE RETURNED!”

“Hallelujah,” Lily said irritably, and the other two boys laughed.

**“"RUN!" Harry yelled,”**

“Because that’s not a dead give away,” James said sarcastically, and was rewarded by a giggling Lily wrapping her arms around his right arm, and two laughing friends.

**“and the four of them sprinted down the gallery, not looking back to see whether Filch was following – they swung around the doorpost and galloped down one corridor then another, Harry in the lead,”**

“Because he’s really scrawny and gravity cant get a hold on him. BOOM!” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Was that a fat joke, or a skinny joke, or a gravity joke?” she asked, and Sirius blanched

“I don’t know,” he said, and Lily snorted as James and Remus sniggered at Sirius’ stupefied expression.

**“without any idea where they were or where they were going – they ripped through a tapestry”**

“I have probably snogged in there,” Sirius said, and Lily scrunched her nose daintily as James and Remus sniggered.

“Same,” James said, and Lily turned her head to glare at him, earning herself a wink, “Don’t be jealous love, we’ll go in there.”

“Shut up,” Lily said, turning away from him, as Sirius and Remus sniggered madly at her blushing face.

**“and found themselves in a hidden passageway, hurtled along it and came out near their Charms classroom, which they knew was miles from the trophy room.”**

“Hey! I found that passageway!” James said happily

“NO YOU DIDN’T!” Sirius bellowed indignantly, and James rolled his eyes as Remus and Lily massaged their ears.

“Yes, I did, I found it when looking for somewhere to snog Valerie Martins,” he said, and Remus snorted as Sirius nodded.

“Oh, right.”

“You snogged Valerie Martins?” Lily asked in disgust, and both Sirius and Remus laughed as James turned to her amusedly

“Yes, so?”

“That’s disgusting,” she shuddered, “I cant snog you for a long time now,” she said, and James’ jaw dropped as Sirius and Remus howled with laughter

“That was _years_ ago!” he yelled indignantly, and Lily shrugged, “That’s not fair!” he whined, “It’s _Christmas_!”

“‘Tis the season to be jolly,” Remus said seriously, and Lily giggled as James rolled his eyes

“Fa la la la la, la la, la la,” Sirius deadpanned, and the other three burst out laughing

**“"I think we've lost him," Harry panted, leaning against the cold wall and wiping his forehead. Neville was bent double, wheezing and spluttering.”**

“Because he’s fat,” Sirius said happily, “Doesn’t get enough exercise.”

“Sirius, will you just _please_ -“

“Fine, Evans, I’ll shag you, but just once,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James chuckled softly and Remus snorted.

“Yes Sirius, because that’s what I was asking,” Lily said sarcastically, and Sirius winked

“I know love, but you shouldn’t ask these things with Prongs around,” he said, “He’s the awful jealous sort,” Sirius said, and James flushed as Lily and Remus laughed

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Lily said, “I’ll have to hide all my other lovers as well,” she sighed, and James snorted as Remus and Sirius laughed. Lily giggled and ruffled his hair.

**“"I – _told_ – you," Hermione gasped, clutching at the stitch in her chest, "I – told – you."”**

“So she’s the ‘I told you so’ sort, is she?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed, shaking her head fondly, as Remus and James laughed.

**“"We've got to get back to Gryffindor tower," said Ron, "quickly as possible."”**

“Yes Ronald!” Sirius said, punching the air, “Thinking fast! Well done!”

“What is _with_ you?” Remus asked amusedly

“Well, Lily dear is steadily turning red,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed slightly, “I’m trying to get her face to match her hair,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed and Sirius winked at her.

**“"Malfoy tricked you," Hermione said to Harry. "You realize that, don't you? He was never going to meet you – Filch knew someone was going to be in the trophy room, Malfoy must have tipped him off."”**

“Smart, that one,” James said, and the other three nodded

“Told you she’d come in handy,” Lily said smugly, and Sirius huffed angrily

“So _you’re_ the ‘I told you so’ sort as well?” he asked, and Lily’s eyes twinkled

“I’m sure you know that, after all that James’ told you about me being the ‘I told you so’ sort,” she said, and James flushed as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“Stop bringing that up!” he whined.

“That’s only the second time since we started the book that I brought it up,” Lily pointed out, and James scowled as Remus and Sirius laughed harder.

**“Harry thought she was probably right, but he wasn't going to tell her that.”**

“Don’t,” Sirius advised, “She’ll get all snotty.”

“My son thanks you very much for that,” Lily said, and Sirius grinned as Remus and James snickered.

**“"Let's go."**

**It wasn't going to be that simple. They hadn't gone more than a dozen paces when a doorknob rattled and something came shooting out of a classroom in front of them.**

**It was Peeves. He caught sight of them and let out a squeal of delight.”**

They all groaned, loudly.

“Why now?” James whined, and Lily shook her head sadly.

**“"Shut up, Peeves – please – you'll get us thrown out."”**

“Who says please to Peeves?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged

“Maybe it works?”

“Doubtful,” James said, and Lily sighed, knowing he was probably right.

**“Peeves cackled.”**

“Yep, didn’t work,” James said, and the others threw him sarcastic looks, but didn’t say anything.

**“"Wandering around at midnight, Ickle Firsties? Tut, tut, tut. Naughty, naughty, you'll get caughty."**

**"Not if you don't give us away, Peeves, please."”**

“Good boy,” Sirius laughed, “He knows he’s to grovel.”

“Oh shut up,” James chuckled.

“It’s in his blood,” Sirius said, turning to Lily, who giggled as James scowled.

“I don’t grovel!”

“Only to Lily you do,” Remus said, and Sirius barked a laugh as Lily giggled and James hid his face.

**“"Should tell Filch, I should," said Peeves in a saintly voice, but his eyes glittered wickedly. "It's for your own good, you know."”**

“Every time,” Remus muttered, shaking his head.

“Not to me,” James said happily, and the others rolled their eyes

“Because you’re both prats,” Lily said, and James’ jaw dropped as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“You’re part of a prat house!” Sirius wheezed, and Lily burst out laughing, “Get it? Frat house? Prat house?”

“Yes, I get it,” James snorted as Lily, Sirius and Remus continued to laugh, “Bloody hilarious.”

**“"Get out of the way," snapped Ron, taking a swipe at Peeves”**

“Big mistake,” James grimaced.

“Stupid Ginger who cant control his emotions!” Sirius hissed, and Lily threw him a threatening look, and Sirius blew her a kiss.

**“– this was a big mistake.”**

“Told you,” James said, and the other three chuckled.

**“"STUDENTS OUT OF BED!" Peeves bellowed, "STUDENTS OUT OF BED DOWN THE CHARMS CORRIDOR!"**

**Ducking under Peeves, they ran for their lives, right to the end of the corridor where they slammed into a door – and it was locked.”**

The boys swore.

“What are they going to do now?” Sirius whined

“They have wands,” James said, and Remus rolled his eyes

“But they know no magic!”

“Hermione does,” Lily said, and the boys’ jaws dropped

“SAVE THEM HERMIONE!” Sirius squeaked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“ _Now_ you like her,” she muttered, so only James could hear, and James chuckled.

**“"This is it!" Ron moaned, as they pushed helplessly at the door, "We're done for! This is the end!"”**

“They’re all so dramatic,” James laughed, and Lily giggled.

“Looks like Harry’s dramatic nature is contagious,” Remus said, and Lily and James scowled at him as Remus and Sirius snickered madly, Sirius reaching over to hi-five Remus.

**“They could hear footsteps, Filch running as fast as he could toward Peeves's shouts.”**

“I love how Filch runs,” Sirius said smirking, “he looks like he’s dying.”

“That’s pleasant Sirius,” Lily said offhandedly, and James and Remus laughed as Sirius chuckled fondly.

**“"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wand,”**

“Oi! Use your own!” Sirius yelled, and Lily threw a cushion at him, effectively shutting him up, causing James and Remus to snicker.

**“tapped the lock, and whispered, " _Alohomora!_ "”**

“YES!” James yelled happily.

“I knew she’d come in handy,” Sirius said, and Lily gaped at him as Remus and James laughed at her bewildered expression.

“Oh, did you now?” Lily asked, and Sirius flushed, grinning at Lily.

“Course,” he said, winking, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Prick,” she said, and Sirius pouted as Remus and James laughed.

**“The lock clicked and the door swung open – they piled through it quickly, and pressed their ears against it, listening.”**

“I’m amazed there’s enough space, doesn’t Neville take up half the doorway?” Sirius asked, his eyes twinkling manically

“You are incorrigible,” Lily said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus grinned.

“But that’s Prongs!” Sirius whined, and then his eyes twinkled, “So after six years of you calling me incorrigible, will you be dating me?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“In your sick dreams Sirius,” she said, and Sirius grinned wickedly

“Sweetheart, in my sick dreams, people don’t date, they do…other things,” he winked, and Lily hid her face in James’ shoulder again as Remus and James sniggered madly.

**“"Which way did they go, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me."**

**"Say 'please.'"”**

“See? Saying please to Peeves may work,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

**“"Don't mess with me, Peeves, now _where did they go?_ "**

**"Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice.”**

The three boys sniggered and Lily shook her head, grinning.

“I love this trick,” Sirius said happily.

“We use it on McGonagall _all the time_ ,” James chuckled

“And get a detention, _every time_ ,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, and James and Sirius grinned as Lily shook her head disapprovingly, a traitorous smile on her face.

**“"All right – _please_."**

**"NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage.”**

“Peeves gains so much respect from me every time he makes someone curse,” James said, and Sirius snickered

“Especially when it’s a teacher, and especially when that teacher is McGonagall,” Sirius said, and James sniggered

“Remember when she said fuck?”

“That was _awesome_ ,” Sirius breathed as James, Remus and Lily laughed.

“That really was the best Transfiguration lesson ever,” Lily said, and the boys laughed in agreement.

“In her defense, nobody would’ve expected Peeves to jump out from behind her desk and spray her with fuchsia paint,” Remus said.

“That is totally her colour,” Sirius said, and they howled with laughter.

**“"He thinks this door is locked," Harry whispered. "I think we'll be okay – get _off_ , Neville!" For Neville had been tugging on the sleeve of Harry's bathrobe for the last minute. " _What?_ "”**

“I hate it when people tug my sleeves,” Lily said irritably, “I mean, what’s wrong with just talking? You were given a voice, bloody use it!”

The boys looked at her incredulously for a second before bursting out laughing, leaving her blushing foolishly.

**“Harry turned around – and saw, quite clearly, what. For a moment, he was sure he'd walked into a nightmare – this was too much, on top of everything that had happened so far.”**

“Snape in his underwear,” Sirius said, and James and Remus roared with laughter as Lily clicked her tongue disapprovingly, her face twitching with laughter, her lips pursed.

**“They weren't in a room, as he has supposed. They were in a corridor. The forbidden corridor on the third floor. And now they knew why it was forbidden.”**

“Because it’s where Snape goes to grease his hair,” Sirius nodded solemnly, and James and Remus laughed again, a giggle escaping Lily

“Oh leave him alone,” she said, giggling madly, “Just shut up so I know what’s happening to my poor baby.”

“Oh right!” Sirius said suddenly, “Forgotten he was in a nightmare worthy of almost naked Snape’s,” he shuddered, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus sniggered, wincing slightly at that mental image.

**“They were looking straight into the eyes of a monstrous dog, a dog that filled the whole space between ceiling and floor.”**

“I _love_ dogs!” Lily said happily, and the boys smirked amusedly.

“You do?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded happily. Sirius grinned slyly at James, who snorted and shook his head amusedly. Remus was trying very hard to hold back laughter

“But that’s one big dog,” James said, and Lily shrugged

“It’s just a dog,” she said

“But it’s a big dog, taking up the whole corridor,” Remus said, and Lily looked up at the ceiling, before shuddering.

“Merlin, that’s a big dog,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“It had three heads.”**

They all paled.

“Holy Mother of Merlin,” James breathed, eyes wide.

“Run,” Sirius said, “Run for your lives.”

“What the bloody hell is a dog like that doing locked in a school?” Lily squeaked, and the boys shrugged, eyes still wide.

**“Three pairs of rolling, mad eyes; three noses, twitching and quivering in their direction; three drooling mouths, saliva hanging in slippery ropes from yellowish fangs.**

**It was standing quite still, all six eyes staring at them, and Harry knew that the only reason they weren't already dead was that their sudden appearance had taken it by surprise, but it was quickly getting over that, there was no mistaking what those thunderous growls meant.”**

“Run!” Remus urged, “Run _now_!” he yelled, and the others nodded vigorously in agreement.

“WHY is it in the school?” James asked, bewildered, and the other three shrugged, bouncing up and down in anticipation

“Hurry up! I want to know if my son makes it out alive,” Lily said, and James nodded, pale, and turned back to the book.

**“Harry groped for the doorknob – between Filch and death, he'd take Filch.”**

They all snorted

“Smart choice,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

“At least he’s got his priorities in check,” James said, and Lily giggled, snuggling more comfortably into his muscular shoulder.

**“They fell backward – Harry slammed the door shut, and they ran, they almost flew, back down the corridor.”**

The four of them exhaled

“Oh thank Merlin,” Lily breathed, closing her eyes for a second and taking in a deep breath.

“At least they’re okay!” Sirius squeaked, and the others nodded

“I think they’re all going to need extensive therapy,” James said, and the others laughed.

“These genetics, I tell you,” Sirius teased, and James stuck his tongue out at Sirius as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“Filch must have hurried off to look for them somewhere else, because they didn't see him anywhere, but they hardly cared – all they wanted to do was put as much space as possible between them and that monster. They didn't stop running until they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady on the seventh floor.”**

“That’s a long way away!” Lily gasped, eyes wide.

“Are you saying you cant run that far?” Sirius teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“I am perfectly capable of running, thanks,” she said, and the boys grinned, “I just choose not to.”

“Of course you are, love,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him.

“I _am_ ,” she whined, and Sirius winked at her. She opened her mouth to say something again but James chuckled and kissed her forehead quickly.

“Let it go,” he said, and Lily ‘harrumph’-ed before crossing her arms, allowing James to pull her closer to him.

**“"Where on earth have you all been?" she asked, looking at their bathrobes hanging off their shoulders and their flushed, sweaty faces.”**

“Sounds like they’ve been doing something _wild_ ,” Sirius said, winking suggestively, and Lily’s leg shot out, kicking him, hard, in the knee, “OW!” he whined, whimpering as he clutched his leg

“You deserved that,” she muttered, and Remus and James chuckled as Sirius pretended to cry, “Sorry,” she added, and the other two boys sighed as Sirius started to laugh

“You would be the worst villain ever,” he said, and Lily shrugged, smiling

“Good thing I’m a superhero, Outcast,” she said, and Sirius grinned at her as James and Remus chuckled.

“Right you are Mudblood.”

**“"Never mind that – pig snout, pig snout," panted Harry, and the portrait swung forward. They scrambled into the common room and collapsed, trembling, into armchairs.”**

“What?” Sirius yelped, “He doesn’t get yelled at for not answering her question and just yelling the password at her?”

“Bloody double standards,” Remus muttered

“It’s because he’s a cute little First Year,” Sirius said, “That’s why she’s so nice to him.”

“Or because he doesn’t cause mischief,” Lily said, and Sirius snorted

“Love, if that wasn’t mischief, I don’t know what was,” he said, and Lily flushed as Remus and James grinned at Sirius, who winked.

**“It was a while before any of them said anything. Neville, indeed, looked as if he'd never speak again.”**

“Fat got clogged in his throat,” Sirius said knowingly, and Lily groaned as James and Remus laughed.

“Enough!” she whined, “I thought we were done with these!”

“Tut tut,” Sirius said, shaking his finger at her as if telling off a toddler, “Do not complain Lily love, people like Slytherins have to go through life without humour! You should be thankful!”

“That’s why we provide them with so much,” James said, and Lily snorted as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“You don’t provide them with anything, you use them as examples of your humour,” she said, and the boys shrugged

“Tomato, tomato,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and James sniggered.

**“"What do they think they're doing, keeping a thing like that locked up in a school?" said Ron finally. "If any dog needs exercise, that one does."”**

They burst out laughing

“This child has such a vivid sense of humour,” Lily grinned, “I’ve always wondered where children get such funny jokes from.”

“They’re just one of a kind,” Remus chuckled, and Lily giggled.

“Oi!” Sirius said, “I’m one of a kind!”

“Yes, so is Severus,” Lily said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as Remus and James shoved their fists in their mouth to hold back laughter.

“Did you just compare me to _Snape_ of all people? Lily I am _insulted_!” Sirius squawked, and Lily winked at him as Remus and James finally let their laughter free.

**“Hermione had got both her breath and her bad temper back again.”**

“Ah, wonderful,” Sirius said sarcastically.

**“"You don't use your eyes, any of you, do you?" she snapped. "Didn't you see what it was standing on?"”**

“Er, did you see how many heads it had?” James asked, frowning.

“Why was she looking at the _floor_?” Sirius asked, eyebrows high on his head, “See Lily, you know-it-alls are a strange bunch,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James laughed.

**“"The floor?" Harry suggested.”**

The boys burst out laughing as Lily tutted disapprovingly

“Brilliant!” James laughed, and Lily sighed, shaking her head

“You want to laugh Lily!” Remus grinned

“You know you do,” Sirius coaxed, and Lily smiled slightly

“Almost there!” James said, poking her cheek, and Lily burst out laughing, causing the boys to grin triumphantly

“Idiots,” she muttered, and the boys grinned smugly.

**“"I wasn't looking at its feet, I was too busy with its heads."”**

“Yes, because you’re normal,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Obviously what it was standing on was important, because otherwise she wouldn’t have brought it up,” Lily said, and the boys rolled their eyes disbelievingly

“Okay Lily,” Sirius said, “Keep telling yourself that.”

**“"No, _not_ the floor. It was standing on a trapdoor. It's obviously guarding something."”**

Lily smiled smugly and the boys raised their eyebrows

“The stone?” Remus asked, bewildered, and Lily’s smile turned into a smirk as she looked at Sirius and James, who were flushing.

“I told you so,” she sung, and they burst out laughing as she grinned.

**“She stood up, glaring at them.**

**"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed – or worse, expelled. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to bed."”**

They all frowned

“She needs to sort out her priorities,” James said after a beat, and they all burst out laughing.

“We could all have been killed, or worse, expelled,” Sirius said dramatically, hair flips and girly voice included, causing the other three to squeal with laughter.

**“Ron stared after her, his mouth open.”**

“Love struck,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted as the other two laughed.

**“"No, we don't mind," he said. "You'd think we dragged her along, wouldn't you?"”**

The boys burst out laughing as Lily shook her head, grinning.

“He’s impossible,” she said, shaking her head, “How did my son wind up with a friend like him?”

“He got lucky,” James said, and Lily chuckled as Remus and Sirius grinned at the couple. Seeing them now made it obvious that they were made for each other.

**“But Hermione had given something else to think about as he climbed back into bed.”**

“Harry Potter, you are way too young to be thinking these things,” Sirius said sternly, and Lily’s face turned the colour of plum as James and Remus roared with laughter, “Give it a year”

“Or never,” Lily shuddered.

“Would you rather he fancied blokes?” James asked, and Lily sighed.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled

“That sounds a tad defensive Sirius,” she teased, and Sirius stuck his longest finger out to her and she giggled as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“You can’t help it Lils,” Remus said, chuckling, “All boys have those thoughts.”

“You lot are disgusting,” she said, shaking her head, and the boys grinned

“Thanks,” they said simultaneously, and Lily snorted.

**“The dog was guarding something…. What had Hagrid said?”**

“HAGRID!” Sirius said happily, and Lily groaned

“Come on Sirius, there’s two more sentences! _Please_ shut up?” she pleaded, and Sirius sighed

“I’ll try.”

“Bullshit,” James chuckled, and Sirius winked as Lily sighed sadly and Remus sniggered.

**“Gringotts was the safest place in the world for something you wanted to hide – except perhaps Hogwarts.”**

“Hogwarts is very safe,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head in annoyance as Remus and James laughed

“That was just for Lily’s sake, wasn’t it?” Remus chuckled, and Sirius nodded happily, blowing Lily a kiss, which ignored.

 **“It looked as though Harry had found out where the grubby little package from vault seven hundred and thirteen** **was.”**

“Good,” Sirius said happily, “Now go get it!”

“Absolutely not!” Lily squeaked, and Sirius grinned wickedly as James and Remus chuckled. Sirius turned expectedly to James, who smiled.

“That’s the end,” he said, snapping the book shut.

“What’s the next chapter?” Remus asked, and James glared, before opening the book again.

**“Chapter Ten: Halloween”**

“I LOVE HALLOWEEN!” Sirius announced happily.

“I love the Halloween Feast,” Lily said, and the boys grinned dreamily.

“Yeah,” they breathed, and Lily laughed. They sat in silence for a moment before Lily squealed

“Presents!” she sung happily, and the other two boys turned to glare at James, until he waved his wand and the presents reappeared.

“YAY!” Remus yelled happily, running over to his stack of presents. Lily sprinted over to her stack and searched for her present from Remus and Sirius. She found it finally and opened the card on the front.

**_Lilbit_ ** _, since we just barely became friends a couple days before Christmas, we had no time to get you an actual present, hopefully this will suffice. You wanted to know what James’ most prized possession was, well, here it is. Love, Remus and Sirius **Oi! Why is my name second?**_

Lily giggled and ripped the wrapping paper off and burst out laughing. Remus and Sirius grinned simultaneously as Lily rolled around on the floor laughing. James frowned and walked over to see what she was laughing at, and his face drained of all bloody

“WANKERS!” he screeched, launching himself at Sirius and Remus, tackling them to the floor. Lily laughed and picked up the large box of Sleekezey’s hair products and walked over to the seething James. He pushed himself off of his traitorous friends, and when Lily placed a hand on his forearm, he looked anywhere but at her. She giggled and put her hand on his cheek, and he sighed and looked down at her. She grinned and got up on her tiptoes, kissing him softly on the lips, and felt him smile slightly against her lips.

“Here,” she giggled, handing the box to him, and James flushed darkly, “And you almost had me convinced it was natural,” she sighed, and James’ jaw dropped as Remus and Sirius, who were busy unwrapping presents, Sirius sporting a split lip and Remus with a bruise forming on his left cheekbone, sniggered madly

“It is natural!” he squawked, and Lily grinned up at him.

“Okay James,” she chuckled, and kissed his cheek, before handing the box to him.

“He’s telling the truth,” Remus said, “That’s for bad hair days,” he said, and James scowled as Lily giggled madly.

“It’s basically to make his hair smell good,” Sirius said, and James kicked him as Lily bit her lip to keep from bursting out laughing. She leaned over and smelled James hair, and laughed.

“At least it works,” she said, breathing in the smell again, and James smiled smugly at his friends, who rolled their eyes amusedly. She saw Sirius grab her present and flushed, “right, since we only became friends a couple days ago I couldn’t-“

“Don’t worry about it Lily,” Sirius grinned, “We didn’t even get you a present, that’s still Prongs’”

“Still,” Lily said, “I don’t know if you’ll like it.” Sirius ripped open the wrapping paper and his jaw dropped.

“Oh. My. Merlin,” he squawked, and looked at her, “I LOVE YOU!” he yelled happily, sprinting over and wrapping his arms around her waist, swinging her around, a chocolate frog card of Merlin in his hand, “I HAVE ALL THE CHOCOLATE FROG CARDS NOW!” he yelled happily, kissing her hugely on the cheek. Lily giggled and stumbled a little from the lack of body when Sirius put her down and promptly ran over to Remus gloat and shove the card in his face.

James’ eyes widened as he saw what Sirius was holding and ran over to his stack, grabbing his present from Lily and ripping the paper away, his jaw dropping as a chocolate frog card fell out; Circe.

“LILY!” James shrieked, and ran over to her, hugging her and swinging her around in circles. Lily giggled, properly dizzy, as he put her down on the floor, and kissed her full on the mouth, “SIRIUS!” he bellowed as he let go of Lily, “WE BOTH HAVE ALL THE CHOCOLATE FROG CARDS!”

The two squealed in a very non-manly manner, and Lily giggled, walking over to her presents. She saw Remus’ eyes widen as he ripped the wrapping paper off her present and giggled.

“I haven’t even heard of these!” he breathed, looking down at the large boxes of muggle chocolates Lily had given him, and he looked at her with wide worshipping eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you too Remus,” Lily laughed, sitting down as Remus continued to worship his 5 boxes of muggle chocolates. Her mother sent her chocolates regularly, and Lily didn’t have the heart to tell her mother that she didn’t like the ones she was being sent. At least she’d put them to good use. She pulled forwards her one from James after opening the beautiful knee high boots from her parents, which she was already wearing, and ripped the wrapping paper off. There was no card.

She screamed and dropped the present immediately, “I knew you’d like it,” James chuckled, suddenly behind her, looking down at the ruby pendant fastened to a delicate silver chain.

“What? How? When? What? Why?” Lily squeaked, her voice rising in octave with every question. James chuckled and kissed her cheek

“I owled my parents,” he said, “And they sent it to me,” he said, and Lily shook her head violently, “Plus, you said you liked rubies,” he shrugged, and Lily whimpered

“But you spent so much money on me!” she squeaked, “I cant accept it!” she squeaked, shoving it towards him, “I gave you a bloody chocolate frog card!” she said, shaking her head violently.

“Lily,” James smiled, leaning down to get the necklace, and, ignoring her feeble attempts to fight him off, fastening it around her neck, “Take the damn present,” he said, and Lily shook her head, her resolve melting as she fingered the beautiful stone.

“But I cant reciprocate it,” she whimpered, looking up into his eyes with wide emerald ones, “I cant give you something as- as-”

“I don’t want anything,” James said, smiling at her, “You finally agreed to go out with me, that’s the best Christmas Present ever,” he said, kissing her cheek softly, and Lily chuckled quietly, shaking her head slightly

“Bloody charmer,” she said, and James grinned widely, “I don’t forgive you for giving me such an expensive gift though,” she said, and James chuckled

“It’s not expensive,” he said, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at him disbelievingly, “Okay, fine, it is,” he said, and Lily whimpered, “But you’re worth it,” he smiled, and Lily glared at him.

“No more flirting,” she said, and James beamed.

“So you accept it?” he asked, and Lily sighed, looking down at the necklace, “I knew you’d love it,” he said happily, and Lily smiled.

“I do,” she said, and James grinned. She sighed and leaned over to kiss him quickly, “You’re a terrible person,” she muttered as she pulled away, and James snickered.

“I know,” he said, and Lily giggled.

“Oi! Snoggers!” Sirius called, and the couple turned to him amusedly, “Breakfast time! Let’s go!” he said excitedly. Lily looked at him and snorted

“Sirius, what are you wearing?” she asked, and Sirius grinned roguishly

“A present from Prongs,” he said, grinning at James as he fondly fingered the leather jacket he was wearing, “Sexy, isn’t it?” he asked, and Lily giggled.

“Get used to the expensive presents,” Remus said, looking down at his brand new authentic jazz record and trilby hat to go with it, “James always over does it,” he said, glaring at James, who shrugged.

“Why not?” James said, and his friends rolled their eyes fondly.

“Mate, it’s not fair, I mean, I got you a book,” Sirius said, and James chuckled

“It’s not just any book,” he said, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at their mischievous expressions.

“‘How To Prepare Your Wand When Entering Her Chamber Of Secrets’,” Remus read out loud, holding up a large book, “Nice,” he commented, as Sirius and James grinned mischievously and Lily shook her head fondly.

“What do I get myself mixed up in,” she said, shaking her head, and then she squeaked, causing the boys to jump, “OH MERLIN!” she yelled.

“What?” the boys asked.

“I have _the best_ books for you lot!” she squeaked, and ran up to her dormitory, leaving the boys frozen downstairs. They looked at each other in bewilderment before Lily reappeared, grinning, “Here,” she said, holding the books out. The boys ran over and grabbed them, and laughed.

_Transfigure their Sanity 101_

_The Idiots Guide to Bullshitting_

“Thanks,” Remus laughed, as James and Sirius opened the books, looking through them with interest, “Only time I’ve ever seen them excited over books,” he muttered, and Lily giggled.

“Yes, well, I didn’t need them,” she said, and the boys grinned at her.

“THANK YOU LILY!” Sirius yelled, throwing himself on her in a bear hug. James and Remus shrugged before throwing themselves on the two, and Lily squealed as three giant, attractive, teenage boys crushed her to death.

“Okay, let Lily breathe,” James chuckled, and Sirius threw him a snarky look as he finally let go of Lily, who took in a deep breath, her face flushed from laughter. She beamed at James, who grinned down at her.

“BREAKFAST!” Sirius sung happily, and grabbed Remus and sprinted out of the Common Room, “COME ON LOVEBIRDS!”

“Coming,” James muttered, and Lily giggled. James grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him, causing her to blush maddeningly, “I really liked my presents,” he said, and Lily smiled.

“I tried,” she said, and James chuckled, “How’d you like the second one?” she teased, and James frowned

“The books?”

“No, the one after the Chocolate Frog card,” she said, grinning, “I figure this way you can blackmail Sirius,” she added, and James’ eyes widened. He let go of her, causing her to stumble, and launched himself at the pile of wrapping paper, digging through it. He got to the bottom and found a little folded up note. Covered in wrapping paper, he opened the note and Lily came up behind him smiling. There was only one word written on the paper in Lily’s cursive writing.

_Claire_

“Claire?” James asked, and Lily smiled, “What’s that?”

“My middle name,” she shrugged, and James’ eyes widened, causing Lily to burst out laughing.

“YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON EVER!” James yelled happily, swinging her around, and Lily laughed.

“Come on,” she laughed, taking his hand, “Let’s go eat breakfast.”

“I _love_ Christmas breakfast,” James said happily, as he and Lily walked through the castle to the Great Hall.

“Why?” she asked, nose scrunched

“Well first, because it’s Christmas,” he said, and Lily nodded, “And, I just really love breakfast,” he said, and Lily snorted

”I hate it.”

“WHY?” he gasped, and Lily shrugged

“Everything tastes disgusting in the morning,” she said, “My taste buds don’t wake up until noon,” she said, and James laughed.

“You’re a strange one Lily Claire Evans,” he said, and Lily sighed, shaking her head amusedly. They walked in to see Sirius and Remus sitting at the Gryffindor Table, Remus looking extremely irritated

“What happened?” Lily asked, her voice shaking with unrestrained laughter.

“He just kissed me on the cheek, for Christmas,” Remus mumbled, and Sirius grinned

“You know you liked it,” he winked, and Remus shook his head irritably, stabbing a sausage rather violently. Lily bit back a giggle.

After Sirius kissed him a second time, Remus stormed angrily out of the hall. Sirius gasped dramatically and ran after him, yelling at Remus to ‘calm down baby, we’ll keep it a secret’, much to the inhabitants of the Great Hall’s amusement.

A couple seconds later, another person came up in front of them, and Lily looked up to see a Ravenclaw Second Year she’d seen around, “Can we help you?” she asked politely, and the kid smiled slightly

“Er, well, I was sent to find out if you were dating,” he said awkwardly, and James snorted into his Sheppard’s Pie as Lily smirked.

“By who?” James asked, and the kid flushed.

“Er, those sixth years over there,” he said, and Lily looked over to see a group of James’ fan girls sitting together. Lily giggled violently as James snorted.

“Yes, we are,” he said, and the kid smiled and nodded his thanks before flitting over to the fan girls. Lily watched and held back a laugh as he informed them of the news and as their faces abruptly fell. She burst out laughing as she saw Amelia Bones, a fifth year, burst into tears.

“That’s rude Evans,” James said, grinning, and Lily continued to giggle, looking down into her lap, shaking violently, “Lily!” he laughed, as she snorted through her laughter.

“Oh Merlin!” she squeaked, her face red, “Oh that’s so embarrassing!”

“I didn’t know you snorted when you laughed,” James teased, and Lily continued to giggle

“I don’t!” she insisted, and then promptly snorted again, “Ah damn it!” she squeaked, and James laughed

“Don’t worry Lils,” he laughed, “I think it’s cute,” he said, and turned her head to face him, firmly planting a kiss on her lips.

“OH MERLIN!”

“NO WAY!”

“THEYRE DATING?”

“BLOODY HELL!”

“YOU OWE ME 20 GALLEONS!”

“OH MY MERLIN!”

“NO!”

“Sorry girls, he’s off the market!”

“GIRLS? _She’s_ off the market!”

“Are you _crying_?”

“I _KNEW_ THIS WOULD HAPPEN!”

Lily and James were openly laughing by this point, their faces still close together.

“This is way too much fun,” Lily giggled, and James grinned, pressing a kiss to her lips again, bringing on a whole new round of squeals. James snickered.

“Might as well give them something to really talk about,” he muttered, and Lily gave him a mock stern glare, “it’s only right,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling. James grinned and grabbed the back of her head, directing her head back to his and kissing her passionately, shoving his tongue into her mouth.

“BUT WE JUST BROKE UP!”

“You were never dating Jess”

“WE WERE!”

“THIS IS MUTINY!”

“I don’t understand,” Lily murmured against James’ lips, and James grinned, kissing her harder

“Who cares Lil, I’ve wanted to do this for a while, shut up,” he said, and kissed her, causing Lily to giggle.

“Oi, lovebirds!” they snapped apart as they saw Sirius and Remus standing over them, looking highly amused.

“What are you doing?” Remus asked, and James threw him a blank look

“What does it look like we’re doing?” he asked, and Lily grinned.

“Are you not aware of the screaming?” Remus asked, and Lily grinned

“Why do you think we’re doing this?” she asked, and the other two boys snickered.

“Ah Lily, you truly are a Marauder,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“I love you,” James chuckled, and covered his mouth as Sirius and Remus grinned and Lily’s eyes widened.

“What?” she squeaked, and James flushed darkly, pulling quickly away from her and looking at the wall across the room, “James, what did you say?”

Sirius decided to save his friend from this embarrassment as Remus snickered madly and whistled to a First Year walking by, “Oi!” he yelled, and the kid walked over nervously.

“Er, yes?” the little girl said, and Lily smiled sweetly at her. She was nervous, that much was obvious

“We have a question to ask you,” Sirius said, and James smirked, catching on. He turned to the little girl, whose eyes widened as he addressed her, causing Lily to giggle.

“Oi, kid, who’s the head marauder?” James asked her, and the girl looked at them confusedly.

“Er, you are,” she replied.

James smirked. Sirius’ jaw fell. Remus snorted. Lily burst out laughing. Remus and Sirius started yelling obscenities and James sat there, smirking. The girl looked terrified

“Sorry,” Lily said, turning to her, “You can go now,” she said. The girl grinned at her before running away

“BOLLOCKS!”

“YOU ARE _NOT_ THE HEAD MARAUDER!”

* * *

As they left the Great Hall, James still avoiding Lily for his stupid slip of the tongue, not that it was a lie, she caught up to him and grinned.

He looked away from her.

Lily giggled and shoved a piece of parchment in his pocket before skipping away to walk with Remus and Sirius, who threw his arm around her.

James pulled the little piece of paper out and looked down to see a small heart drawn in black ink.

It was a very Happy Christmas indeed.

* * *

**Hope you liked it! REVIEW PLEASE (:**


	11. Halloween

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter. I wish I did, but that’s different (:**

* * *

“Good morning!” Lily sung, walking into the Great Hall and seating herself down next to the three boys.

“Someone’s chirpy this morning,” Remus said amusedly, and Lily shrugged happily.

“I got to sleep in today,” she said, and the boys laughed

“I’ll say,” James chuckled, “It’s lunch time.”

“So your greeting was not appropriate,” Sirius added, grinning mischievously at her, “You should’ve said good afternoon.”

“Yes, but nobody says good afternoon, ever,” she said, “And it’s morning for _me_ so I said good morning,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

“Okay,” James smiled, and kissed her temple.

“What have you lot been doing?” she asked, reaching over for a turkey sandwich.

“Well, we were going to attempt to wake you up, since we want to read,” Sirius said, and her eyes bulged.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” she squeaked, and Sirius laughed.

“No worries love,” he said.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” she asked, and James shrugged

“Figured we should let you sleep,” he said, but she saw the twinkle in his eyes

“What did you do?” she asked, her tone harsher, as she looked around at the three boys, who flushed slightly.

“Nothing!” James squeaked, and she looked at him skeptically, before looking around the hall, eyes narrowed.

“You’re pulling a prank, aren’t you?” she asked, and the boys paled.

“Do something!” Sirius whispered to James, who nodded and grabbed Lily’s face, directing it to his, and kissing her full on the mouth. He kept one hand firmly on the back of her head so she couldn’t move.

“Well that works,” Remus chuckled, and turned to Sirius, who looked exceptionally proud of his best mate.

“I wouldn’t have even thought of that!” he gasped, “Oh he’s growing up too fast,” Sirius sniffed, and Remus rolled his eyes

“You know he was going to do that sooner or later, without an excuse to,” he retorted, and Sirius snickered. James waved his hand around at them, and they turned to look at him. He held up his pointer finger, and waved it around, before giving them a thumbs up, all the while, keeping his other hand firmly on the back of Lily’s head.

“Start without you?” Sirius whispered, and James shook his index finger. He held up two fingers.

“In two minutes?” Remus whispered, and James put his thumb up again. He then pointed at Lily.

“So as soon as you break apart from Evans then?” Sirius whispered, and James put his thumb up again. And then waved his pointer finger around.

“Ah, so as soon as he breaks apart from her, we’ll start the prank,” Remus whispered, and James gave him a thumb up.

“She may be irked that you’re not giving the snog full attention,” Sirius whispered teasingly, and James stuck his middle finger up, causing both boys to chuckle. Sirius and Remus began to wave their wands in complicated motions, preparing for the prank, when James held up three fingers. Two fingers. One finger.

“Now!” he yelled, pulling away from Lily quickly and whipping his wand out. The boys waved their wands, James pointing at the ceiling, Sirius pointing at the teachers’ table, and Remus murmuring spells directed at the other tables. Lily’s eyes widened as she realized what was happening, but as soon as she opened her mouth to scream at them, there was a loud bang.

Lily shivered violently and looked up to see that it was snowing. Not only that, but the floor, and, oh Merlin, the _tables_ were covered with snow as well. The food was the only thing in the hall not covered with snow. Suddenly, something swooped from the ceiling, and everyone screamed as what looked like Santa’s sleigh, led by a stag, dog, mouse and wolf swooped down and delivered presents. Well, ‘presents’. Presents, which really turned out to be sprinklings of glitter. As Lily watched, the Slytherins were showered in glitter, and with a flash, they were wearing…oh Merlin.

“You dressed the Slytherins in bikinis?” Lily asked in a bored voice, turning to glare at the boys, who grinned happily, “You dressed them in bikinis and made it snow, real mature,” she said, and they grinned devilishly.

“Darling,” Sirius said, leaning forwards, “You were so distracted looking at the Slytherins, you didn’t notice what everyone else was wearing,” he winked. She looked quickly towards the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables to see that everyone at those tables was dressed similarly. She looked up to the teachers’ table and was rather scarred to see them in bikinis as well. She groaned and slowly looked down at herself.

“I hate you all,” she muttered, and stood up. She noticed James’ eyes looking over her and flushed. She flicked her wand and she was wearing her Hogwarts robes again, before pointing it at the three boys, who cringed.

“But I’m your boyfriend!” James squeaked, and Lily grinned.

“I know,” she said sweetly, and then flicked her wand. They flinched, but all that happened was that their wands flew to her. She flicked her wand once more, and the boys found themselves wearing bikinis. She grinned at their horrified expressions, and grabbed her sandwich, skipping out of the snow covered room as the other houses and the teachers laughed at the boys’ horrified expressions, their three wands swinging in her hands.

* * *

The boys sprinted into the common room, where they saw Lily sitting, arms crossed, smiling sweetly at them.

“Hello boys,” she said, and grinned at them.

“You are a cruel human being,” James said. They’d all taken off the bikini tops to better cover their nether regions, and Lily grinned madly at them.

“I learn from the best,” she said, and winked at the boys, who shook their heads, “I suggest you lot go put some pants on,” she said, and they all flushed madly, looking down, before sprinting up the stairs to their dormitories. Lily hummed under her breath, twirling her wand between her fingers, when they came down, dressed in the robes she’d sent to their rooms, and sat down, James sitting right next to her.

“Remind me to never play a prank on her ever again,” Sirius muttered, and James nodded, glaring at Lily, who grinned at him.

“Hopefully you now know to never play a prank on me,” she said happily, and leaned over to kiss James on the cheek, before sitting up, leaving him fighting a smile.

“Can I have my wand back?” Remus asked, and Lily grinned at him.

“No,” she said simply, and he glared at her.

“Now Lily, you shouldn’t be acting so harsh,” Sirius said, “We’re Marauders, we prank,” he said, and she shrugged.

“I’m Lily Evans,” she said, “I punish you for pranking,” she said, and they all grimaced, “Now, you’ll get your wands back after we finish this chapter,” she said happily, and their jaws dropped.

“But that’ll take so long!” Sirius gasped, and she shrugged good-naturedly.

“I hate you when you sleep in,” Remus muttered, and she grinned. She reached over for the book, and Sirius caught James’ eye.

He touched his nose.

James grinned.

He pounced on Lily, and grabbed her face, attaching his lips to hers. Sirius winked at Remus, who grinned and walked over to the kissing couple. He reached down and in a flash, he grabbed the three wands. Lily squeaked, and pushed James off her, but it was only to see the three boys, wand in hand, grinning at her.

“And you, Lily Evans, should learn a lesson,” Sirius said wisely.

“Never, pull a prank on a Marauder,” James said, winking, and Lily glared at him as the others laughed.

“Now, just read the book,” Remus said, and Lily glared at him before reaching over for the book. James put his arm around her shoulder and she shrugged it off, shifting to the other side of the sofa and leaning her back against the armrest. James rolled his eyes as Remus and Sirius sniggered.

**“Chapter 10: Halloween,”**

James grinned at her, “So you’re not going to talk to us?” he asked, and she sniffed, looking down at the book, waiting for him to stop talking.

“I don’t think she is mate,” Sirius said, grinning.

“Lily!” Remus called, and she continued to look at the book.

“Lily, love, if you don’t speak, I might have to make you,” James said

**“Malfoy couldn't believe his eyes when he saw that Harry and Ron were still at Hogwarts the next day, looking tired but perfectly cheerful.”**

The boys sniggered, both at Lily’s determination to ignore them, as well as the book.

“Malfoy’s in shock,” Sirius sniggered, and the other two boys grinned. Lily continued to look at the book.

“So she’s really not going to speak?” Remus asked, amused, regarding Lily.

“It won’t last long,” Sirius said.

“I don’t think it’s just a speaking ban,” Remus said, “I think it’s a ban to acknowledging us at all,” he said, and Sirius laughed as James grinned at Lily, who continued to look at the book.

“We all know she’s good at hiding her emotions,” Sirius said, shaking his head, “But we also know that she cannot resist the temptation to yell at us,” he said gleefully.

“What do you intend to do?” James asked, grinning at his best mate.

“Well, you could sexually harass her,” Sirius said, and Remus chuckled.

“Aren’t you trying to get back in her good books?” Remus asked, and Sirius swore.

“Ah, that is true,” he said, looking at Lily, “I suppose we’ll just have to woo her,” he said dramatically, and the other boys laughed.

“This should be fun,” James said, and Sirius grinned.

“No snogging though,” Sirius added, and James balked, “It’s so much more entertaining this way,” he said, and James smirked, looking at Lily. He saw the smallest traces of panic on her face, which she wiped away immediately, and grinned.

**“Indeed, by the next morning Harry and Ron thought that meeting the three headed dog had been an excellent adventure,”**

Lily scowled, and the boys snickered.

“This shouldn’t be too hard,” Sirius said, and leaned over to Lily, batting his eyelids at her. She continued to look resolutely at the book, a look of pure disapproval on her face.

Remus chuckled and walked over to Lily, and stood behind her. He reached forwards and began to lightly move his fingers through her long red ponytail.

James grinned and placed his hands on her knees, his long fingers dancing on her thighs.

“Lily,” Sirius breathed, and James saw her squirm just slightly, and grinned madly. He moved his hands up slightly, and saw her eyes dart to his hands on her knees, before focusing on the book. Remus pulled the hair tie out of her hair, and it cascaded down her back. Sirius leaned closer, so close, in fact, that if he hadn’t been James’ best mate and James was absolutely certain he wouldn’t do anything, he would’ve had to curse him.

James’ hands moved further up

Remus’ fingers made contact with her neck

Sirius moved in closer.

“Stop!” she shrieked, and the boys yelled out triumphantly, hi-fiving each other. Lily was steadily turning bright red. The boys hadn’t moved, “Can you _please_?” she squeaked, waving her hands around, and they chuckled, moving back to their original positions, “I hate you all,” she said, and the boys grinned

“We know love,” James said, patting her knee.

“We got you talking!” Sirius said happily, and Lily turned to glare at him

“You cheated,” she said, and he raised an eyebrow challengingly as Remus and James grinned

“And how, may I ask, did we cheat?” Sirius asked, grinning.

“You messed with my hormones!” she squeaked, and the boys sniggered, “that’s cheating! Nobody can control their hormones!”

“Nice to know we can turn even _you_ into a hormonal puddle,” Sirius said, and Lily’s jaw dropped as James and Remus burst out laughing

“I was _not_ a hormonal puddle!”

“But you could be,” Sirius sung, and Lily flushed, causing the boys to grin.  

**“and they were quite keen to have another one.”**

“Absolutely not,” Lily said sternly, and Sirius sniggered

“So you’ve absolutely forgotten about your ban?” eh asked, and she glared at him.

“What’s the point when I know next time you lot wont stop?” she asked, and Sirius grinned wickedly.

“Ah, love, you know us well,” he said, and James and Remus chuckled as Lily flushed.

**“In the meantime, Harry filled Ron in about the package that seemed to have been moved from Gringotts to Hogwarts, and they spent a lot of time wondering what could possibly need such heavy protection.”**

“The Sorcerers Stone,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled.

“Well done mate,” James said seriously

“You should be a detective,” Remus agreed, nodding, and Sirius grinned.

“Thank you,” he said, and turned to Lily, who snorted

“ _I’m_ not complimenting you,” she said, and he gasped dramatically, clutching his heart.

“But Lily!”

“No buts,” she said, and he grinned.

“But what would you do without mine?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“You might as well compliment him,” James said, and Lily sighed.

“Bloody marvelous,” she said sarcastically, and Sirius grinned triumphantly as James and Remus chuckled at Lily’s obvious amusement, which she was trying ever so hard to hide.

**“"It's either really valuable or really dangerous," said Ron.”**

“Or both,” James said, and the others chuckled.

**“"Or both," said Harry.”**

James grinned happily.

“Wonder what the stone actually _does_ ,” Sirius said, watching James’ euphoric expression with mild amusement.

“I really want to know!” Lily whined, and the boys grinned

“Yes, but we’ve forbidden you from going to the library and checking, so you’ll have to wait,” Remus said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the other two laughed.

“It’s okay Lily,” James said, grinning at her, “You’re not alone in this not-knowing-ness,” he said, “We don’t know either!”

“Yes, because you lot usually know everything,” she muttered, and the three shot her mock insulted looks.

“You know, we are top of the class,” Sirius said smugly.

“After me,” she said, and James snorted

“And _I’m_ the conceited twit, arrogant toerag, big-headed git?” he asked, and Lily flushed as the other two boys sniggered.

“I don’t _parade_ the fact that I’m top of the class!” she squeaked, and James winked at her.

“Yes, but you just did, and used it to spite us,” he said, and Lily scowled, “So I believe we’re at liberty to say-“

“Lily Evans,” Remus started, smirking, “You are a conceited twit.”

“Lily Evans,” Sirius continued, grinning at her affronted expression, “You are an arrogant toerag.”

“Lily C. Evans,” James said, “You are a big-headed git,” he said, grinning, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling.

“YOU KNOW HER MIDDLE NAME?” Sirius gasped, and James smirked, turning to look at Sirius’ appalled expression

“Yes, I do,” he said, and Sirius, flabbergasted, turned to gawk at the giggling Lily.

“TELL ME!” he cried, and she shook her head and continued to read.

**“But as all they knew for sure about the mysterious object was that it was about two inches long, they didn't have much chance of guessing what it was without further clues.”**

“You know what else I’m going to need further clues for?” Sirius asked, and Lily giggled as Remus and James snickered.

“Guessing my middle name?” Lily asked, and Sirius nodded vigorously

“THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THIS!” he bellowed, “You told _him_ but you didn’t tell _me_?” he squeaked, and Lily shrugged, “DO NOT SHRUG AT ME LILY WHATEVER-YOUR-MIDDLE-NAME-IS EVANS!” he yelled, and Lily laughed as James chuckled and Remus shook his head fondly.

“You have one clue,” Remus said, and Sirius turned to him, “It begins with a C,” he said, and Sirius’ eyes widened.

“I’ll keep guessing,” he said happily, and turned to Lily.

“Fine,” Lily shrugged

“Wait,” Remus said, holding up a hand, “You _have_ to tell him if he guesses right,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“Fine,” she said, and Sirius beamed, “But you cant start guessing until the end of the chapter,” she said, and Sirius’ eyebrows flew up.

“Why?”

“Because then I’ll forget about the story,” she said, and he beamed.

“Nice to know I have such an effect on you, love,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

**“Neither Neville nor Hermione showed the slightest interest what lay underneath the dog and the trapdoor.”**

“Because they’re boring,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him, “What? They are being boring!”

“Not sticking your nose in places it shouldn’t be is not boring, it’s sensible,” she said, and James grinned.

“And of course, he’d know all about sticking his nose in places it shouldn’t be,” he winked, and Sirius grinned, before barking. Remus and James roared with laughter at their inside joke, and Lily shook her head, muttering about crazy boys.

**“All Neville cared about was never going near that dog again.”**

“Coward,” Sirius said simply, and Lily sighed exasperatedly

“Weren’t you making fat jokes on him?” James asked, and Lily shrieked indignantly as Sirius’ eyes widened and Remus chuckled.

“I _knew_ I was forgetting something!” he squeaked, and grinned at James, who was trying to ignore the hole Lily was burning through him with her icy glare, “You’re the best mate ever.”

“Thanks,” James chuckled,

“Hopefully that makes up for what a rubbish boyfriend he is,” Lily said, and James’ jaw dropped as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“Well, at least he’s not fat, and unable to outrun three headed dogs, therefore never wanting to go near them again,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed as James and Remus sniggered.

**“Hermione was now refusing to speak to Harry and Ron,”**

“I wouldn’t either,” Lily said, and the boys snorted

“Yes you would,” James said

“You’d just be yelling at them the entire time,” Sirius finished, and Lily scowled as the boys sniggered.

**“but she was such a bossy know-it-all that they saw this as an added bonus.”**

Lily’s jaw dropped as James, Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Ouch Lily,” Remus laughed, “Your son hates someone who’s exactly like you!” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two boys sniggered.

“Come on, that’s not fair,” Sirius said, “she’s not _that_ bad,” he said, and Remus sighed

“I suppose,” he said, winking at Lily, who glared at him.

“So do you just become worse after pranks?” she asked, and Remus grinned as James and Sirius laughed like mad men.

“Mornings and pranks,” Remus said, and Lily shook her head in exasperation as the three boys snickered.

**“All they really wanted now was a way of getting back at Malfoy,”**

“Who doesn’t?” Sirius asked, and Lily shot him an amused look as his two friends chuckled.

**“and to their great delight, just such a thing arrived in the mail about a week later.”**

“What? What? What?” Sirius asked excitedly, bouncing up and down like a child.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Lily replied, giggling, and Remus and James laughed.

**“As the owls flooded into the Great Hall as usual, everyone's attention was caught at once by a long, thin package carried by six large screech owls.”**

“Yuck, screech owls,” Sirius muttered, and Lily’s jaw dropped.

“The owls are carrying a large package for Harry and all you can think of are the bloody owls carrying the package?” she asked incredulously, and Sirius gaped as James and Remus regarded him as bewilderedly as Lily had.

“Oh Merlin!” he squeaked, “something’s wrong with me!”

“Well, I already knew that,” James said cheekily, and Sirius glowered at him as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“Harry was just as interested as everyone else to see what was in this large parcel, and was amazed when the owls soared down and dropped it right in front of him,”**

“He was amazed? Really?” James asked, shaking his head.

“Well, he didn’t know it was for him,” Lily said defensively, and James snorted, “It’s not like he’s reading the book!” she said, and James flushed.

“Right, forgot about that,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius snickered on their friends’ behalf.

“What do you think it is?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed.

“A broomstick,” she said bluntly, and Sirius’ jaw dropped, as did the others’

“OH MERLIN!” James squawked, causing Lily to jump, “My sons first broomstick!” he said excitedly.

“I wonder what make it is,” Sirius mused.

“Its either the Cleansweep Seven or the Nimbus Two Thousand,” Remus said, and Sirius looked at him, “Wood said so in the previous chapter,” Remus said, and realization dawned on Sirius’ handsome features.

“Right, of course,” he said, and looked at James, “I bet it’s the Cleansweep,” he said, and James snorted, shaking his head.

“No, my sons going to have a Nimbus,” he said

“Does it really matter?” Lily asked, and they turned to look at her harshly, “Er, I mean, that’s such an important decision,” she said, and she saw the corners of James’ and Sirius’ mouths twitch as Remus chuckled.

**“knocking his bacon to the floor.”**

Sirius gasped, and the other three shook their heads fondly.

**“They had hardly fluttered out of the way when another owl dropped a letter on top of the parcel.”**

“Open it!” James urged

“And don’t open it carefully,” Lily said, and James rolled his eyes amusedly as Remus and Sirius barked with laughter.

**“Harry ripped open the letter first,”**

Lily smiled smugly, and Remus and Sirius chuckled as James shook his head fondly.

**“which was lucky, because it said:**

**_DO NOT OPEN THE PARCEL AT THE TABLE”_ **

“Good thing he opened it first,” Sirius laughed.

“Yes, we know, considering it said ‘which was lucky, because it said’,” Remus said, and Sirius looked at him sardonically as Lily and James laughed.

“It’s in capitals too,” Lily said, and Sirius smirked at Remus, who quirked an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t see how that benefits your argument,” Remus said, “Mine’s still winning.”

“But that shows the severity behind the not opening of the letter,” Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Yes, and the book still clearly states that it was lucky that he didn’t open it first _because_ it read-“

“We get it,” James said as Lily continued to laugh, “Now can we please continue reading?”

**“ _It contains your new Nimbus Two Thousand,_ ”**

The boys whistled. Lily’s eyes widened, impressed.

“I _told you_ it would be the Nimbus,” James said smugly, grinning at Sirius, who scoffed.

“Cleansweeps are better.”

“No they’re not, they grow unsteady after a few years, the statistics for malfunction are higher, and they are heavier than Nimbus’s,” Lily said bluntly, and the boys looked at her, until James grinned.

“And this is why you’re my girlfriend,” he said, kissing her cheek, and grinning at Sirius, who shook his head fondly.

**“ _but I don't want everybody knowing you've got a broomstick or they'll all want one._ ”**

They all laughed

“That’s such a funny sentence,” Sirius chuckled, “Only McGonagall could be this amusing,” he said, and Remus quirked an eyebrow at him.

“How do you McGonagall wrote this?” he asked, and Sirius looked at him blankly

“Because they’re lovers and he knows everything about her,” James said, faking astonishment that Remus didn’t know this.

“Duh,” Lily said, rolling her eyes, and the boys burst out laughing.

**“ _Oliver Wood will meet you tonight on the Quidditch field at seven o'clock for your first training session.”_**

“His first Quidditch training session!” James squeaked excitedly.

“Don’t wet yourself,” Sirius muttered, grinning like a fool.

**“ _Professor M. McGonagall_ ”**

Sirius shot Remus a smug look, and Remus snorted as Lily and James laughed.

**“Harry had difficulty hiding his glee as he handed the note to Ron to read.”**

“Don’t hide it! Let it reign free!” Sirius said dramatically, and Lily looked at him, eyebrow quirked, questioning his mental stability, as Remus and James snickered in response to her expression.

**“"A Nimbus Two Thousand!" Ron moaned enviously. "I've never even _touched_ one."”**

“Neither have I,” James said dramatically, and the boys laughed madly as Lily shook her head, smiling.

**“They left the hall quickly, wanting to unwrap the broomstick in private before their first class,”**

“Who wouldn’t?” Sirius snorted.

“I’d be offended if they didn’t,” James said, shaking his head, and Sirius grinned

“And this is why you’re my best mate,” he said, and James grinned at Sirius in a soppy manner.

“Don’t _ever_ make that face again,” Remus said, as Sirius batted his eyelids at James. Lily laughed.

“At least I know who his true love is,” she said, and James gasped as Sirius and Remus snickered

“What?” he squeaked, and Lily grinned, patting his shoulder absentmindedly

“It’s okay James,” she said, “I will always love Alice more than you anyway,” she said, and James pouted as Remus and Sirius snickered.

“You should love us more!” Sirius gasped, “Bros before hoes!”

“Lily is not a hoe,” James said, and Sirius scoffed

“Same general principle.”

“Sirius is a hoe,” Lily said, “So you should love Remus the most,” she concluded, and Sirius spluttered as Remus and James roared with laughter.

**“but halfway across the Entrance Hall they found the way upstairs barred by Crabbe and Goyle.”**

“Fat joke?” Sirius suggested, and Lily snorted

“Muscle joke,” she said, and Sirius pouted as Remus and James laughed

“But muscle jokes are no fun!” he whined, and Lily shrugged.

**“Malfoy seized the package from Harry and felt it.”**

“That sounds exceptionally dirty,” Sirius said, wagging his eyebrows, and Lily glared at him as James and Remus sniggered in an immature manner.

“You disgust me,” Lily said bluntly, “And shall never know my middle name thanks to it,” she said, eyes glinting mischievously, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as the sniggers became louder.

“NO!”

“Yes,” she said solemnly, and Sirius pretended to cry as she looked back at the book with a dramatic sigh.

**“"That's a broomstick," he said,”**

“Very good evil spawn,” Sirius praised, and Lily laughed as James and Remus shook their heads fondly.

**“throwing it back to Harry with a mixture of jealousy and spite on his face.”**

“That’s right! Be jealous Malfoy!” Sirius said happily

“Oi, Outcast, you’re giving away your identity,” Lily chastised, and he gasped.

“Mudblood! Say it isn’t so!” he gasped, and Lily shook her head dramatically

“I may have to end your career as a superhero,” she said, managing to sound regretful, “You’d give us away too quickly!”

“No! I wont! Give me another chance!” Sirius begged, and Remus laughed

“Is this starting to sound like a cheesy break-up to you as well?” he asked James, who snorted and nodded as Sirius continued to beg Lily, whose lips were pursed in her attempt to hold back laughter.

“If it was anyone but him, they’d be in the fire by now,” he said, and Remus laughed.

**“"You'll be in for it this time, Potter, first years aren't allowed them."”**

“He is!” Remus said happily, and the other three grinned.

“I can’t _wait_ until he finds out Harry’s Seeker,” James said excitedly, and Sirius beamed.

“He’ll be _mad_ with jealousy!” he squeaked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You lot take pleasure in the weirdest things,” she said, grinning despite herself.

**“Ron couldn't resist it.”**

“That’s okay Ron, I wouldn’t be able to either,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted

“That’s not saying much,” she said, and Sirius scowled playfully as James and Remus chuckled

**“"It's not any old broomstick," he said, "it's a Nimbus Two Thousand. What did you say you've got at home, Malfoy, a Comet Two Sixty?" Ron grinned at Harry. "Comets look flashy, but they're not in the same league as the Nimbus."”**

“Yeah Ron!” Sirius cheered, as James and Remus laughed.

“Comets are useless,” James said, shaking his head amusedly.

“There’s something broomstick related that we can agree on,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly.

**“"What would you know about it, Weasley, you couldn't afford half the handle," Malfoy snapped back. "I suppose you and your brothers have to save up twig by twig."”**

“Why you snot nosed little-“

“Pesky little slimeball!” James finished for Sirius, both of them glowering angrily at the book.

“That’s hitting _way_ below the belt,” Remus said, shaking his head angrily

“And we’re back on broomsticks,” Lily said in an attempt to break the tension, and the boys burst out laughing.

“You keep surprising me,” James chuckled, smiling affectionately at the redhead.

“In a good way, I hope,” Lily teased, and James grinned as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“Before Ron could answer, Professor Flitwick appeared at Malfoy's elbow.”**

“Hello Filius!” Sirius sung, and Lily shook her head disapprovingly.

“Only you call teachers by their first names,” she said, and Sirius grinned

“Breaks the boundary, you see,” he said.

“The boundary is there for a reason,” she pointed out, and Sirius shrugged

“Learning from them seems more personal this way,” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows rose, unable to come up with a witty comeback. Sirius smirked and winked at James, who was shaking with suppressed laughter, as was Remus.

**“"Not arguing, I hope, boys?" he squeaked.”**

“I love how small he is,” Sirius said happily, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“I wonder what a teacher would do if someone responded with ‘yes, we’re arguing, what are you going to do about it?’” Remus mused, and the others burst out laughing.

“Now that would be something I would pay good money to see,” James laughed.

**“"Potter's been sent a broomstick, Professor," said Malfoy quickly.”**

“Tattle tale,” Sirius muttered irritably, crossing his arms

“What does it matter?” Lily asked, “He’ll just be embarrassed,” she said, and the boys looked at her, “Well, obviously all the teachers know about Harry’s position on the Quidditch Team,” she said, and the boys grinned devilishly

“Come on Flitwick!” Remus said excitedly, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Sirius bounced up and down eagerly.

**“"Yes, yes, that's right," said Professor Flitwick, beaming at Harry. "Professor McGonagall told me all about the special circumstances, Potter. And what model is it?"”**

Sirius sniggered, and Lily shook her head as his sniggering triggered the others.

**“"A Nimbus Two Thousand, sir," said Harry, fighting not to laugh at the look of horror on Malfoy's face. "And it's really thanks to Malfoy here that I've got it," he added.”**

The four of them burst out laughing.

“Well done!” James cheered happily, removing his glasses to wipe his eyes.

“I wish I was there to see Malfoy’s face!” Sirius wheezed, clutching his stomach as he took deep breaths.

“It would be absolutely priceless,” Lily agreed, grinning, “I wonder where he got all this cheek from?” she said, winking at James, whose jaw dropped as the other two snickered.

“I’m not _cheeky_!” he squeaked, “ _You’re_ the cheeky one,” he defended, “I simply make cruel mocking jokes.”

“Aye, the lad has a point,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted as James and Remus sniggered.

“I suppose cheekiness is one of my talents,” she conceded, and the boys laughed.

“Just ask Slughorn, he adores it,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys chuckled.

“Is that _jealousy_ I hear?” she gasped, and Remus snorted as the other three laughed.

**“Harry and Ron headed upstairs, smothering their laughter at Malfoy's obvious rage and confusion.”**

“Ah, well done,” Sirius said, “Couldn’t have done it better myself.”

“We’ve been over their brilliance, can we move on?” Lily asked, and the boys chuckled, Sirius rather sheepishly.

**“"Well, it's true," Harry chortled as they reached the top of the marble staircase, "If he hadn't stolen Neville's Remembrall I wouldn't be on the team…"”**

“I suppose that is true,” James said, smiling slightly.

“Thank you Draco Malfoy darling!” Sirius sung, and then scrunched his nose, “No, ‘Malfoy’ and ‘darling’ do not work in the same sentence,” he said, and the other three burst out laughing.

“I don’t think the word ‘Draco’ works in any sentence,” James said, and Sirius and Remus howled with laughter as Lily clucked her tongue disapprovingly, fighting a smile.

**“"So I suppose you think that's a reward for breaking rules?"”**

“Hello Hermione,” Sirius said dully, and Lily shook her head fondly as Remus and James laughed.

**“came an angry voice from just behind them.”**

“She’s probably PMS-ing,” Sirius stage whispered to James, who chuckled as Lily rolled her eyes

“She’s eleven,” she said, and Sirius looked at her

“And?”

“Well, she may not have started yet,” she said, and the boys eyebrows shot up

“Really?” Remus gasped, and Lily nodded

“Oh yeah, tons of girls only got it in Second Year, the last one in our year getting it in Third,” she said, and the boys’ eyes widened.

“That’s so weird,” James said, fascinated.

“When did you get yours?” Sirius asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“That is a story I would only share with a daughter,” she said, and the boys snorted.

“That can be arranged,” James said, winking at her, and Lily shot him a disapproving look as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

**“Hermione was stomping up the stairs, looking disapprovingly at the package in Harry's hand.”**

**"I thought you weren't speaking to us?" said Harry.”**

“Harry Potter!” Lily chastised amusedly as the boys roared with laughter.

“It was a reasonable question!” James said defensively, “I mean, she wasn’t!”

“So?” Lily asked, and the boys frowned.

“That _was_ my answer,” James said, and Lily shook her head fondly as Sirius and Remus chuckled.

**“"Yes, don't stop now," said Ron, "it's doing us so much good."”**

“Ronald Weasley!” Lily squeaked as the boys roared with laughter once more.

“These children are brilliant,” Sirius said, “Well done you,” he said, leaning over to ruffle James’ hair.

“That was way too affectionate,” Remus said, and the boys snorted as Lily giggled.

“There’s nothing wrong with a little man love,” Sirius said confidently, crossing his arms.

“There is when your significant other has a girlfriend,” Remus said, and Sirius scowled as Lily laughed.

“That’s okay,” she said, “You can have him.”

“Lily!” James squeaked, as Sirius and Remus laughed. She turned to him and smiled sweetly, before turning back to the book, “I feel so traded.”

“You were,” she said simply, and James pouted as his friends sniggered.

**“Hermione marched away with her nose in the air.”**

“You should watch where you’re going,” Sirius chastised.

“Yeah, you could walk into a wall, or something,” said James, winking at Lily, who flushed as the others sniggered.

“That was _one time_ , and I was _twelve_ ,” she said, and he shrugged, grinning wickedly.

**“Harry had a lot of trouble keeping his mind on his lessons that day.”**

“Do you ever keep your mind on your lessons?” Sirius asked, and Lily scowled as the boys chuckled.

“He _should_ ,” she said, and Sirius snorted.

“Sorry your majesty,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus laughed.

**“It kept wandering up to the dormitory where his new broomstick was lying under his bed, or straying off to the Quidditch field where he'd be learning to play that night.”**

James let out a nostalgic sigh, a smile spreading across his features, “Remember that feeling?” he asked, turning to Sirius, who grinned and nodded.

“Right before the first Quidditch practice,” he said, and James grinned. They looked dreamily at the carpet for a few moments, and Lily shot Remus a bewildered look, causing him to chuckle.

“Come on boys, let’s move on,” he said, and the two nodded slowly, turning to Lily, who shook her head at the sheer idiocy of the situation before looking down at the book.

**“He bolted his dinner that evening without noticing what he was eating,”**

“Don’t do that!” Lily squeaked

“He’s excited!” Sirius said back, “People always rush when they’re excited!”

“He shouldn’t inhale his food!” she said indignantly.

“He’s excited to get out and fly!” James said, and Lily huffed

“How do you bloody expect him to do that when he’s died from choking on his food?” she countered, and the boys opened and closed their mouths like fish as Remus grinned at their stupefied expressions.

**“and then rushed upstairs with Ron to unwrap the Nimbus Two Thousand at last.”**

“They never unwrapped it?” James gasped, and the other shook their heads. Even Lily was in mild shock.

“I would’ve unwrapped it the second I got it,” Remus said, eyes wide in shock.

“You’re _supposed_ to open it the second you get it,” Sirius said, and Remus nodded dumbly.

“That’s what normal people do,” James said, and Lily grinned mischievously.

“Even more proof that he’s your son,” she said, and James spluttered as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“"Wow," Ron sighed, as the broomstick rolled onto Harry's bedspread.**

**Even Harry, who knew nothing about the different brooms,”**

James grimaced.

**“thought it looked wonderful. Sleek and shiny, with a mahogany handle, it had a long tail of neat, straight twigs and Nimbus Two Thousand written in gold near the top.”**

The three boys groaned longingly and Lily shook her head, smiling.

**“As seven o'clock drew nearer, Harry left the castle and set off in the dusk toward the Quidditch field. He'd never been inside the stadium before.”**

“Now that’s a right shame,” Sirius said, shaking his head.

“We went down there the first day!” James said, and Sirius snickered

“And got lost,” Sirius said, and James grinned.

“At least we met Hagrid!” James said, and Sirius laughed.

“They didn’t come back for four hours,” Remus said to Lily, “Peter and I had thought they’d died,” he said, and the two boys smiled sheepishly as Remus glared at him.

“Don’t worry Moony,” James said, “We’d never die and leave you with just Wormtail for company,” he said, and Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius laughed and Lily clucked her tongue disapprovingly.

**“Hundreds of seats were raised in stands around the field so that the spectators were high enough to see what was going on.”**

“Well obviously,” Remus snorted, “You can’t expect them to watch from the ground!”

“You _could,_ ” Lily said, “It’d be interesting.”

“How?” Sirius asked, amused.

“Well obviously you wouldn’t see as much, but you’d still be able to see fine,” she said, and the boys chuckled, shaking their heads.

“How about, next time there’s a Quidditch match, you can stay down on the floor, and see what it’s like, yeah?” James suggested, and Lily huffed, crossing her arms.

“Fine,” she said, and the boys grinned.

“Fine!” James said mockingly, and a giggle spilt from Lily’s mouth as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“At either end of the field were three golden poles with hoops on the end. They reminded Harry of the little plastic sticks Muggle children blew bubbles through, except that they were fifty feet high.”**

“I never thought of them like that!” Lily gasped, her eyes wide open, and a grin on her face, “they _do_!”

“I don’t get it,” Sirius said, frowning, “Muggle kids can blow bubbles…?”

“Out of Quidditch goals?” James asked, adorably confused. Lily giggled and shook her head.

“No!” she laughed, and the boys flushed, “No what it is, is there’s a little container filled with liquid,” she said, “and then you dip this stick with a hoop on the end, which looks like a smaller version of those goal posts, and then you blow through the hole, and bubbles come out,” she said, and the boys’ jaws dropped in awe.

“I want one!” James gasped, and Lily grinned.

“Well since I’m taking you lot to a theme park, might as well add that to the list,” she giggled, and the boys’ eyes widened

“You’re actually going to take us to a theme park?” Sirius breathed, and Lily grinned

“If you want,” she said, and he beamed at her.

“I knew there was a reason we loved you,” he said, and the other two boys beamed as well, causing Lily to flush.

“It’s no big deal,” she mumbled, looking down at the book with reddened cheeks.

**“Too eager to fly again to wait for Wood, Harry mounted his broomstick and kicked off from the ground.”**

“What is it with you lot and this obsession with flying?” Lily asked exasperatedly, and the boys grinned.

“Just because you were rubbish,” James said, trailing off, and winking at t eh affronted redhead.

“I was not!” she squeaked

“Yes, love, you were,” James chuckled, “But that’s oaky, nobody’s perfect,” he said, and kissed her cheek, “I’m pretty damn close,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

“Of course you are,” she said sarcastically, and he winked at her.

**“What a feeling – he swooped in and out of the goal posts and then sped up and down the field. The Nimbus Two Thousand turned wherever he wanted at his slightest touch.”**

“I want,” Sirius said bluntly, and the other two boys nodded dumbly as Lily shook her head fondly.

**“"Hey, Potter, come down!"”**

“Hi Oliver!” Sirius sung, and Lily giggled as the other two boys laughed.

**“Oliver Wood had arrived. He was carrying a large wooden crate under his arm. Harry landed next to him.”**

“Oh Merlin!” James squawked, “My son is going to play Quidditch!” he gasped, “With the actual balls, and the actual pitch,” he added, eyes wide beneath his glasses, “Oh Merlin!”

“Deep breaths James,” Remus said, regarding James amusedly

“But this- this is huge!” James gasped, and Sirius rolled his eyes. He looked at Lily, and gestured to James, and she quirked an eyebrow, “Oh my! Merlin!” he continued to squeak and Lily giggled.

“Calm down,” she said, grinning at him, and he turned to her. She reached over and grabbed his hand and squeezed it, “You’re acting like an idiot,” she said, and James laughed breathlessly as Sirius and Remus chuckled.

“I’ll try and control it,” James said after a few deep breaths, and she grinned.

“I wasn’t aware that was possible,” she teased, and James rolled his eyes as she laughed and Sirius and Remus grinned.

**“"Very nice," said Wood, his eyes glinting. "I see what McGonagall meant … you really are a natural.”**

Sirius and James beamed proudly.

**“I'm just going to teach you the rules this evening, then you'll be joining team practice three times a week."”**

“Oh this is going to be boring then,” Sirius said, losing all enthusiasm and flopping backwards.

“What? Why?” Lily asked, bewildered.

“Because he’s explaining the rules,” he muttered, and Lily laughed as James and Remus grimaced.

“This is going to be a tad boring,” Remus sighed, and Lily shook her head fondly.  

**“He opened the crate. Inside were four different-sized balls.”**

“Quaffle, Bludgers and Snitch,” Sirius said, and James and Remus exchanged a look before giving him a sarcastic round of applause.

**“"Right," said Wood. "Now, Quidditch is easy enough to understand, even if it's not too easy to play. There are seven players on each side. Three of them are called Chasers."”**

“Like me!” James said happily, and Lily cocked her head to the side, “Please tell me you knew that,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“I did!” she said, as Remus and Sirius snickered at James’ relieved expression.

**“"Three Chasers," Harry repeated, as Wood took out a bright red ball about the size of a soccer ball.”**

“What is it with muggles and soccer?” Sirius huffed, and Lily sighed

“We’ve been over this Sirius!” she said exasperatedly, and he shrugged as James and Remus chuckled.

**“"This ball's called the Quaffle," said Wood. "The Chasers throw the Quaffle to each other and try and get it through one of the hoops to score a goal. Ten points every time the Quaffle goes through one of the hoops. Follow me?"”**

“If he doesn’t, I would be very worried about his ability to perform mental processes,” Remus said, and the other three laughed.

**“"The Chasers throw the Quaffle and put it through the hoops to score," Harry recited. "So – that's sort of like basketball on broomsticks with six hoops, isn't it?"”**

“Yes!” Lily said, and the boys quirked their eyebrows at her.

“And what, if I may ask, is basketball?” Sirius asked.

“Sounds like muggles are throwing a ball into a basket,” James said, and Lily nodded, “Pathetic,” he muttered

“No! No it’s not like that!” she said defensively, “The baskets are pretty high in the air, one on each side of the court, and there are two teams, and-“

“You get points if you put the ball in the basket,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded, “Muggles!”

“I wish I could see a match,” James said, and Lily huffed as the three boys turned to look at her pleadingly.

“Honestly, do I have to show you _everything?_ ” she asked exasperatedly, “There’s the theme parks, soccer matches, and now this?” she asked, and the boys nodded, grinning.

**“"What's basketball?" said Wood curiously.”**

“Useless,” Lily muttered, and the boys guffawed.

**“"Never mind," said Harry quickly.**

**"Now, there's another player on each side who's called the Keeper – I'm Keeper for Gryffindor. I have to fly around our hoops and stop the other team from scoring."”**

“The goal keeper,” Lily said, and the boys chuckled

“Muggle terms?” James asked, and Lily nodded happily.

“Is that from basketball or soccer?” Remus asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Soccer,” she said.

“There’s one I’ve never seen before,” Sirius suddenly said, “The Captain’s a Keeper,” he said, and James’ eyebrows shot up

“I’ve never heard of that,” he said, “That actually makes a lot of sense, the Captain can watch the team and make tons of pointers,” he said, and Sirius nodded, smiling.

“Thinking about transferring?” he teased, and James rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed.

“You wish.”

“I don’t care actually, I’d still keep my position,” Sirius said, and James shook his head, defeated, as Sirius smirked triumphantly.

**“"Three Chasers, one Keeper," said Harry, who was determined to remember it all. "And they play with the Quaffle. Okay, got that. So what are they for?" He pointed at the three balls left inside the box.**

**"I'll show you now," said Wood. "Take this."**

**He handed Harry a small club, a bit like a short baseball bat.”**

The boys turned to Lily, who sighed, “Baseball?” she asked, and the boys nodded enthusiastically, “Basically, there are two teams, of course, on a baseball field, containing four bases; first base, second base, third base and fourth base,” she said, “Which can also be known as home, but whatever,” she said, and the boys grinned, paying attention, “So one of the team fields, meaning they stand around the baseball pitch ready to catch the ball, one of them is pitching, that is to say, throwing the ball, and one is catching, crouching behind the batsman,” she said, and the boys nodded, “The other team is batting, and so they use bats resembling the Beaters bats, only they’re longer, and when the pitcher throws the ball, the batter has to whack it and run,” she said, and Sirius raised his hand.

“Where do they run?”

“Well the aim is to get a home run, which is, run from home plate, all the way around, and back to home plate again,” she said, “and that earns you points.”

“How far are the bases?” James asked, and Lily sighed.

“I don’t know! But they go around in a square,” she said, and the boys nodded seriously.

“Why do muggles have _so many_ sports?” Sirius asked, flabbergasted.

“Because it’s much more entertaining than having just one,” Lily said, and the boys chuckled.

“Another thing for this list,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus grinned excitedly.

**“"I'm going to show you what the Bludgers do," Wood said. "These two are the Bludgers."”**

“Nasty little buggers,” muttered James, and Sirius nodded solemnly.

**“He showed Harry two identical balls, jet black and slightly smaller than the red Quaffle. Harry noticed that they seemed to be straining to escape the straps holding them inside the box.”**

“They are,” James muttered, and Sirius grimaced.

“I hate releasing them,” Sirius muttered, and James nodded.

“Especially when you release them, and someone asks you a question, and they thing ‘hey, look, he’s not paying attention!’ and wham right into you,” James said, and Sirius nodded, fighting laughter that Remus and Lily had already succumbed to, as James absentmindedly rubbed a spot on his lower back.

**“"Stand back," Wood warned Harry.”**

“Smart man,” Sirius commented, winking at James, who scowled.

**“He bent down and freed one of the Bludgers.”**

“Now run for your life,” James said, and the other three burst out laughing.

“Unless you have my expert protection,” Sirius said, and James chuckled

“Of course,” he said, rolling his eyes, and Sirius beamed.

**“At once, the black ball rose high in the air and then pelted straight at Harry's face.”**

“Oi! Bludger! It’s not James,” Sirius said, and James scowled as the others burst out laughing.

**“Harry swung at it with the bat to stop it from breaking his nose,”**

“Smart thinking.”

“Shut up Sirius”

“Sure thing Red.”

**“and sent it zigzagging away into the air – it zoomed around their heads and then shot at Wood, who dived on top of it and managed to pin it to the ground.”**

“That’s a brave lad right there,” Remus said, “pouncing on a bludger!”

“I know,” James breathed, awestruck, “If only he was here!” he whined, and Sirius snickered

“You’re just saying that because you hate our Keeper,” he said, and James scowled.

“What’s wrong with McLaggen?” Lily asked, bewildered, and James snorted

“What _isn’t_?” he asked, and the other two boys snickered as Lily shook her head, biting back a laugh.

**"See?" Wood panted, forcing the struggling Bludger back into the crate and strapping it down safely. "The Bludgers rocket around, trying to knock players off their brooms. That's why you have two Beaters on each team – the Weasley twins are ours – it's their job to protect their side from Bludgers and try and knock them toward the other team. So – think you've got all that?"”**

“I also wish the Weasley twins were here,” he said longingly, and Sirius made a disparaging noise.

“Oi!”

“I’d stick you on something else,” James said, “You’d make a brilliant chaser.”

“He’s always wanted to put Sirius on as a Chaser,” Remus whispered to Lily, who nodded in understanding.

“Yes, but I’d much rather whack the Bludgers around and hurt people,” Sirius said, acting as if Remus hadn’t said anything, and James rolled his eyes

“And that is why you are a Beater,” he said, and Sirius grinned as Lily shook her head fondly and Remus chuckled.

**“"Three Chasers try and score with the Quaffle; the Keeper guards the goal posts; the Beaters keep Bludgers away from their team," Harry reeled off.”**

“Good boy,” James said, grinning.

“Correction,” Sirius said, “Beaters keep Bludgers away from their team _and_ try to knock the other team to the ground,” he said, and James nodded proudly.

“No wonder he’s a bloody Beater,” Lily muttered, and Remus grinned at her.

**“"Very good," said Wood.**

**"Er – have the Bludgers ever killed anyone?" Harry asked, hoping he sounded offhand.”**

The four of them laughed.

“Scared?” Sirius teased, and James laughed

“Yes, he is,” he said, nodding his head, amused.

**“"Never at Hogwarts. We've had a couple of broken jaws”**

Sirius rubbed his jaw gingerly, grimacing.

**“but nothing worse than that. Now, the last member of the team is the Seeker. That's you. And you don't have to worry about the Quaffle or the Bludgers –"”**

“Unless they try to kill you, of course,” James said, and the others laughed.

**“"—unless they crack my head open."”**

“Well done,” James laughed, as the other three shook their heads.

“Honestly, I don’t think anyone could ever deny that he was your son,” Remus said, and James beamed proudly

“They’d deny he was Lily’s,” Sirius teased, and Lily scowled as the boys snickered.

“He has my eyes, thanks,” she said, and they laughed.

“And her manners,” James said, and Sirius gasped.

“Can’t forget about those manners,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys sniggered madly.

**“"Don't worry, the Weasleys are more than a match for the Bludgers – I mean, they're like a pair of human Bludgers themselves."”**

“We need to get you a partner you coordinate with better,” James announced, and Sirius quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Er, okay,” he said, and James nodded, frowning slightly.

“He’s lost it,” Remus said, and Sirius chuckled

“As long as I’m still on the team, I couldn’t care less,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly as Remus and Sirius snickered and James continued to think.

**“Wood reached into the crate and took out the fourth and last ball. Compared with the Quaffle and the Bludgers, it was tiny, about the size of a walnut. It was bright gold and had little fluttering silver wings.”**

“The Golden Snitch,” the three boys said in unison, and Lily snorted.

“You lot are pathetic,” she said, and they beamed at her.

“Oh Lily!” Sirius sniffed, waving his hand in an ‘aw shucks’ kind of way.

“I haven’t blushed this much since Madam Pomfrey said she liked my new earmuffs,” James said, and they all burst out laughing.

**“" _This_ ," said Wood, "is the Golden Snitch, and it's the most important ball of the lot. It's very hard to catch because it's so fast and difficult to see.”**

“Yes, and your old man eyes don’t really help with that,” Sirius said, winking at James, who threw him a mock glare as the other two laughed.

**“It's the Seeker's job to catch it. You've got to weave in and out of the Chasers, Beaters, Bludgers, and Quaffle”**

“The Quaffle doesn’t fly by itself, so that’s incorrect,” James said

“Yes, very good James, can we move on now?” Sirius asked, and James nodded stiffly

“As long as the point has gotten across.”

“It’s gotten across and has been duly noted,” Sirius assured him, and James nodded in a rather pompous manner, before the two burst out laughing. Lily and Remus exchanged an exasperated look, before she turned back to the book with a sigh, her mouth twitching.

**“to get it before the other team's Seeker,”**

“But isn’t hat kind of obvious?” Sirius said, and James snorted in agreement as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“because whichever Seeker catches the Snitch wins his team an extra hundred and fifty points, so they nearly always win. That's why Seekers get fouled so much.”**

“That’s some bloody fantastic encouragement,” Remus said, and Lily, James and Sirius laughed.

“I bet he’s pumped to be a Seeker now!” Sirius said sarcastically.

“Of course!” James gasped, acting affronted, “Who doesn’t want to get fouled?”

“Oh, of course, sorry, my bad,” Sirius said apologetically, and they all burst out laughing once again.

**“A game of Quidditch only ends when the Snitch is caught, so it can go on for ages – I think the record is three months, they had to keep bringing on substitutes so the players could get some sleep.”**

“Best Quidditch match in the history of the world,” James declared, and Sirius snorted.

“Only you read the whole game,” he muttered, and James scowled as Lily and Remus laughed.

“You read the entire game?” Lily asked, and James flushed, before nodding.

“It’s a valuable piece of history!” he said indignantly, and Lily chuckled, shaking her head, and Remus and Sirius rolled their eyes amusedly.

“With an excuse like that, I’m not surprised you got the Head Boy position,” Sirius said, and James gaped as Lily and Remus burst out laughing.

**“"Well, that's it – any questions?"**

**Harry shook his head. He understood what he had to do all right; it was doing it that was going to be the problem.”**

“Ah young Harry,” Sirius said, and Lily looked up at him impatiently, causing James to chuckle, “things are easier done than thought,” he said wisely, and Lily snorted magnificently, causing James and Remus to burst out laughing and Sirius to quirk an eyebrow at her amusedly.

“I believe the quote is ‘easier said than done’,” she said, and Sirius grinned.

“Yes, but doing is easier than thinking about it,” he said, and Lily sighed, “Don’t deny it!” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered.

“I wasn’t going to,” she said, and his eyes widened.

“Because I was right?” he asked excitedly, and Lily snorted.

“No,” she said, winking, “Because I want you to shut up,” she said, and his jaw dropped as Remus and James roared with laughter.

**“"We won't practice with the Snitch yet," said Wood, carefully shutting it back inside the crate,”**

“NO!” James whined.

**“"it's too dark, we might lose it. Let's try you out with a few of these."**

**He pulled a bag of ordinary gold balls out of his pocket and a few minutes later, he and Harry were up in the air, Wood throwing the golf balls as hard as he could in every direction for Harry to catch.”**

“Fine,” James muttered, and the other three burst out laughing.

“His logic was sound,” Lily said, and James scowled.

“My son is playing Quidditch with golf balls,” he muttered, and then frowned, “What the bloody hell _is_ a golf ball?” he asked, and Lily sighed dramatically.

“Another Muggle Sport!” Sirius said excitedly, and the other two grinned at Lily’s exasperated expression.

“Basically, one has a long club and you swing it and hit a ball into a hole, which is far away,” she said, and the boys looked at her, “I don’t know golf,” she said, shaking her head, “I don’t waste my time with it.”

The boys laughed, “So no chance of seeing it?” James asked, and Lily glared at him.

“I’ll send you with Vermin, I’m not taking you,” she said, and the boys snickered.

“Vermin,” Sirius snickered, “Is that Vernon Dursley?”

“Yes,” Lily said, and the boys sniggered madly.

“Well then I’ rather not,” James said, and Lily smiled.

“Good, because I’m not even bothering with that one on the list,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“It cant be _that_ bad, can it?” Sirius asked, and Lily looked at him.

“You’d hate it,” she said, “the objective is to get the lowest score,” she said, and the boys’ jaws dropped.

“So that’s off the list,” James said, and Lily grinned as the other two boys nodded in agreement.

**“Harry didn't miss a single one, and Wood was delighted.”**

James grinned proudly, and pat Lily’s knee. Lily looked over at him to see him beaming with pride and shook her head fondly. Sirius and Remus watched the exchange and then grinned at each other. The fact that James had finally gotten Lily, and was ecstatic, bloated them with happiness.

**“After half an hour, night had really fallen and they couldn't carry on.”**

“Well, if the matches go on forever and ever you’ll need to play through the night,” Lily said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“What about during storms?” Sirius said, “it gets pitch black sometimes!”

“Exactly!” James said, “So they _should_ keep playing!” he said, and Remus snorted.

“It’s not like they’ll lose the balls,” Lily said, “If Harry misses-”

“Which he wont,” James cut in, and Lily rolled her eyes, but made no other gesture to suggest she’d heard him.

“-the balls will fall straight to the ground considering they’re not enchanted,” she said, and the boys nodded.

“Oh Lily,” James said, patting her knee, “We can make a Quidditch Captain of you yet!”

“Yes, but then I’d take your place, and you’d be jealous,” she said, and James chuckled as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

**“"That Quidditch Cup'll have our name on it this year," said Wood happily as they trudged back up to the castle. "I wouldn't be surprised if you turn out better than Charlie Weasley, and he could have played for England if he hadn't gone off chasing dragons."”**

The boys gasped.

“He’s _that_ good?” Lily asked incredulously, eyebrows raised.

“Who? Charlie or Harry?” Remus asked, and Lily choked.

“Harry,” she said, and Remus shrugged.

“Must come with the genes,” he said, and James beamed.

“He wasn’t talking about you, he was talking about our future Quidditch Captain,” Sirius said, gesturing to Lily, who giggled as James rolled his eyes, grinning.

“ _Why_ would someone turn down playing for England to study dragons?” James asked, and the boys shrugged.

“Maybe it was his passion,” Lily shrugged, and the boys snorted.

“If you’re a Quidditch Player, Quidditch is your passion,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes, before saluting.

“Yes Captain,” she said, and James grinned as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter. She looked down at the book and groaned.

“What?” James asked.

“Sirius,” she said, and he quirked an eyebrow at her, “Looks like you’re going to have to sing again,” she said, and he grinned wickedly as Remus and James chuckled.

**“oOo”**

Choosing this time to sing it in a high-pitched voice, Sirius was able to reduce the three to crazy, panting, giggling fools.

“Watch out Celestina,” Remus said, “There’s a rising star coming through!”

“You betcha,” Sirius said, winking, and Remus rolled his eyes as Lily and James continued to laugh madly.

**“Perhaps it was because he was so busy, what with Quidditch practice three evenings a week”**

“That’s nothing,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

**“on top of all his homework,”**

“What homework? You’re in First Year!” Remus said.

**“but Harry could hardly believe it when he realized that he'd already been at Hogwarts two months.”**

“Already?” James said, eyebrows high.

“Will you three _stop it_?” Lily said irritably, and the boys grinned.

“What would you do if we did?” James asked, pouting.

“Smile,” she muttered, and James chuckled as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“You’d miss the interruptions,” Sirius said, “Admit it.”

“Never,” Lily said, winking, and the boys grinned.

**“The castle felt more like home than Privet Drive ever had.”**

“I bet,” Lily said, “Especially with Petunia around.”

“Is Hogwarts more your home?” James asked, and Lily shrugged.

“In some ways,” she said, and the boys nodded thoughtfully.

**“His lessons, too, were becoming more and more interesting now that they had mastered the basics.”**

“And they’ll keep getting more interesting,” Remus said.

“Until you have exams,” James said dully.

“Then magic is a pain in the arse,” Sirius said

“And you wish you were a muggle,” Remus said solemnly.

“And _that’s_ when Privet Drive will seem appealing,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted.

“No, it will _never_ be that severe,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“On Halloween morning”**

“I LOVE HALLOWEEN!”

“Yes, thank you for that Sirius.”

**“they woke to the delicious smell of baking pumpkin”**

“I LOVE BAKING PUMPKIN!”

“Once again, that’s marvelous Sirius.”

**“wafting through the corridors.”**

“I LOVE IT WHEN-”

“ _Langlock_ ,” Lily muttered, and Sirius’ eyes widened as his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, and his two friends roared with laughter.

“I didn’t know you had it in you!” Remus laughed, grinning at Lily. She winked at Sirius, whose face was the epitome of shock, and cleared her throat.

“Now you know, that next time you irritate me to the verge of spontaneous combustion, I am not afraid to use my wand,” she said, and Sirius nodded dumbly as James and Remus looked at her in awe. She waved her wand and Sirius’ tongue flopped down.

“I can’t believe you!” he gasped, grabbing his tongue in his fingers, causing Lily to wince, “I’m sorry!” he said, and Lily was about to forgive him when she realized he was talking to his tongue.

“Excu-”

“ _Langlock_ ,” Sirius muttered and winked at Lily, who glared furiously, before flicking his wand, un-sticking her tongue.

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK!”

“I love you too,” he winked, as James and Remus roared with laughter and Lily’s mouth twitched, “Hey! Tit for tat eh?” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“What tit for tat?” she asked irritably, and Sirius grinned wickedly

“Don’t you dare,” James said, and Sirius sighed.

“You ruin all my fun,” he muttered, and Lily flushed violently as she realized what Sirius was about to say. She looked at James and grinned at him, and he winked at her.

**“Even better, Professor Flitwick announced in Charms that he thought they were ready to start making objects fly,”**

“I loved that lesson,” Sirius said, and grinned wickedly at Lily, whose eyes narrowed to slits, “You going to Langlock me, love?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered.

“I hated it,” she said after a moments silence, and Sirius’ jaw dropped at her reaction, well, lack thereof, causing James and Remus to let out peels of laughter.

“Why?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Because nobody was saying the bloody incantation right!” she squeaked, and the boys laughed.

“Teachers pet,” James teased, and Lily glared at him, “Er, I was joking,” he said, and Lily giggled as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“something they had all been dying to try since they'd seen him make Neville's toad zoom around the classroom.”**

“Now that sounds interesting,” Sirius said, grinning.

“If only he’d squashed it,” James sighed, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

**“Professor Flitwick put the class into pairs to practice. Harry's partner was Seamus Finnigan (which was a relief, because Neville had been trying to catch his eye).”**

The boys sniggered as Lily shook her head disapprovingly.

“Harry Potter,” she said sternly, and the boys laughed.

“He needs a middle name,” James said, and Lily turned to look at him, eyebrow quirked.

“Why?”

“Because,” he said, “It’s easier to yell at him!”

“Ah, you have a point,” Lily said, grinning.

“So what would it be?” he asked.

“SIRIUS!” Sirius yelled happily, and Lily snorted as James and Remus laughed.

“Absolutely not,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

“Well, Potters have a history of using their fathers names as middle names,” James said and Lily looked at him.

“What’s yours?” she asked, and he grinned.

“I’m not telling,” he said and she pouted.

“But you know mine!”

“Fine, its Daniel, happy?” he said, and Lily beamed.

“I don’t know yours! Mine’s Orion, by the way,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling, as James and Remus laughed.

**“Ron, however, was to be working with Hermione Granger.”**

“May Merlin be with you,” Sirius said solemnly, and Lily shook her head as the other two boys grinned.

**“It was hard to tell whether Ron or Hermione was angrier about this.”**

“Why would _she_ be angry?” Sirius asked, flabbergasted.

“Because she’s like Lily, and Ron is like you,” James said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as Lily giggled.

“Sounds pretty accurate,” she said, and Sirius scoffed.

“Rubbish, Lily loves me,” he said, and she smiled sweetly.

“To tell you the truth Sirius, that was a lie, I only said it to irritate James,” she said, and Sirius snorted.

“I know a lie when I see one,” he said and Lily sighed, defeated, as he winked at her, and as James and Remus laughed.

**“She hadn't spoken to either of them since the day Harry's broomstick had arrived.”**

“Rude,” James said, and Sirius snorted and Remus laughed as Lily threw him a scathing glance.

**“"Now, don't forget that nice wrist movement we've been practicing!" squeaked Professor Flitwick, perched on top of his pile of books as usual.”**

“Swish and flick,” Lily said, grinning childishly, and the boys chuckled.

“And you’re, a sixth year, is it?” Sirius teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Remus and James laughed.

**“"Swish and flick, remember, swish and flick. And saying the magic words properly is very important, too – never forget Wizard Baruffio,”**

“Who said ‘s’ in stead of ‘f’ and found himself on the floor with a buffalo on his chest,” Lily said, grinning, and the boys laughed.

“Aren’t you a little charms nerd,” James teased, and Lily grinned widely at him.

“Yes, I am,” she said, and the three boys chuckled.

**“who said 's' instead of 'f' and found himself on the floor with a buffalo on his chest."”**

James, Sirius and Remus grinned as Lily smiled to herself.

**“It was very difficult. Harry and Seamus swished and flicked, but the feather they were supposed to be sending skyward just lay on the desktop.”**

“Don’t worry mate,” Sirius said, “The feather’s to heavy.” Lily sighed exasperatedly as Sirius winked at her and the other two boys roared with laughter.

**“Seamus got so impatient that he prodded it with his wand and set it on fire to it”**

The boys laughed. Lily shook her head.

**“– Harry had to put it out with his hat.”**

“Ah, resourceful, just like a true Marauder,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted as James and Remus laughed.

“He is _not_ a Marauder,” she insisted, and the boys grinned

“Keep telling yourself that love,” James said, grinning at her, and Lily scowled at him.

**“Ron, at the next table, wasn't having much more luck.”**

“Because he’s got Hermione Granger breathing down his neck,” Sirius said irritably, and Lily turned to look at James, who grinned at her irritation and leaned over to kiss her cheek quickly, before sitting back up.

**“" _Wingardium Leviosa!_ " he shouted, waving his long arms like a windmill.”**

“Oh yes, that’s going to work,” Remus said, and Lily laughed.

“Honestly, it’s Charms-nerd mania in here!” Sirius gasped, and the two prefects glared at him as James covered up a snort of laughter with a well-timed cough.

“It’s the swish and flick,” Lily said, “It doesn’t take a Charms nerd to know he’s doing it wrong,” she said, and Sirius laughed, causing her to flush.

**“"You're saying it wrong," Harry heard Hermione snap. "It's Wing- _gar_ -dium Levi- _o_ -sa, make the 'gar' nice and long."”**

Sirius scowled.

“She’s right, you know,” Lily said, beaming, and he turned his glare on her.

“Shut it, Evans.”

“No thank you Black,” she said, and the other two boys snickered as Sirius glared at James, who winked back at him.

**“"You do it, them, if you're so clever," Ron snarled.”**

“And she will,” Lily said, grinning, and James flushed.

“Shut it,” he muttered, and she shook her head happily.

“He’s repeating your mistakes, James,” she said, grinning at him, “He should learn never to challenge a Charms nerd,” she said, and James rolled his eyes, smiling, as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“Hermione rolled up the sleeves of her gown, flicked her wand, and said, " _Wingardium Leviosa!_ "**

**Their feather rose off their desk and hovered about four feet above their heads.”**

Lily grinned at James, who sighed.

“I was _eleven_ and I was stupid,” he said defensively, “I’m sorry I teased you! Happy?”

“Blissfully,” Lily said chirpily, and James rolled his eyes as Reus and Sirius sniggered.

**“"Oh, well done!" cried Professor Flitwick, clapping. "Everyone see here, Miss Granger's done it!"**

**Ron was in a very bad mood by the end of the class.”**

“Poor Ronniekins,” Sirius cooed.

“She didn’t do anything wrong,” Lily said indignantly, and Sirius glared at her.

“Let me comfort the child!” he said, and Lily grinned and shook her head.

“He has to learn.”

“Shove off,” Sirius said teasingly, and Lily giggled.

**“"It's no wonder no one can stand her," he said to Harry as they pushed their way into the crowded corridor, "she's a nightmare, honestly."”**

Lily adopted a sad expression, “No she’s not,” she said, and the boys turned to look at her.

“Yes, she is,” said Sirius, and Lily shook her head.

“She’s _not_ ,” she said, “She’s just _trying_ ,” she said, and the boys smiled sympathetically.

“She’s not _you_ ,” Remus said, and Lily shrugged.

“She might as well be.”

**“Someone knocked into Harry as they hurried past him. It was Hermione. Harry caught a glimpse of her face – and was startled to see that she was in tears.”**

Lily let out an exasperated sigh as the boys looked down at the book, pale.

“Those idiots,” she muttered, and, for once, the boys agreed with her.

“Poor girl,” Remus said sadly.

“I feel bad,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him.

“It’s about bloody time,” she said, and Sirius looked down shamefacedly. James looked at Lily, to see she was smirking. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she gestured to Sirius, before beaming. He shook his head fondly, grinning madly, as his friend continued to look ashamed of himself, before reaching over to hi-five Lily, who giggled and hi-fived him back.

**“"I think she heard you."”**

“ _Really_?” Lily said sarcastically, and the boys chuckled.

“Either that, or she saw Malfoy’s face and burst into tears,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“Both are incredibly likely,” she said dramatically, and Sirius winked at her.

**“"So?" said Ron, but he looked a bit uncomfortable. "She must've noticed she's got no friends."”**

“That’s uncalled for,” Lily said angrily, and the boys grimaced.

“It is,” Sirius said sadly, “I have new found irritation for Ron,” he said, and Lily shook her head as James and Remus laughed.

**“Hermione didn't turn up for the next class and wasn't seen all afternoon.”**

“I hope she’s okay,” Remus said worriedly.

“She’s fine,” Lily sighed, shaking her head, “she’s just crying.”

“That’s not fine!” Sirius squeaked, “You idiot boys! Go apologize!”

“I have never seen this side of you,” Lily said, smirking, and Sirius grinned as James and Remus chuckled.

“What can I say? You bring out the worst in me,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed.

**“On their way down to the Great Hall for the Halloween feast, Harry and Ron overheard Parvati Patil telling her friend Lavender that Hermione was crying in the girls' bathroom and wanted to be left alone.”**

The boys paled. Lily shrugged.

“Why are you shrugging?” Sirius squeaked, “This is _terrible_!” he said, and Lily sighed.

“All girls have had the bathroom crying day,” she said, and the boys looked at her, eyes wide.

“Have you?” James asked.

“Am I a girl?” she asked, and he shook his head, grinning cheekily.

“When did you have your bathroom crying day?” Remus asked, shaking his head at his giggling friends.

“Fifth year,” she said, and the boys fell silent, “and it wasn’t just a day,” she said, and the boys grimaced.

“Sorry,” James said, and she turned to him with a surprised smile.

“It’s okay,” she smiled, and he smiled at her uncomfortably, “Although, I stand by the big-headed git comment,” she said, and James laughed.

**“Ron looked still more awkward at this, but a moment later they had entered the Great Hall, where the Halloween decorations put Hermione out of their minds.”**

“That’s rude,” Sirius said irritably, crossing his arms.

“Well, can you blame them?” James asked, “Remember seeing the Halloween feast for the first time?”

“We didn’t play our prank because it was too lovely to destroy,” Sirius said, and James nodded.

“So _that’s why_ there was no prank!” Lily laughed, “People were discussing the lack of prank for weeks!” she said, and the boys’ eyes twinkled.

**“A thousand live bats fluttered from the walls and ceiling while a thousand more swooped over the tables in low black clouds, making the candles in the pumpkins stutter. The feast appeared suddenly on the golden plates, as it had at the start-of-term banquet.”**

They all smiled dreamily.

“I love the Halloween feast,” Lily said, and the boys grinned.

**“Harry was just helping himself to a baked potato when Professor Quirrell came sprinting into the hall, his turban askew and terror on his face.”**

“Vampires!” Sirius yelled in alarm.

“Mirrors!” James yelled, and the other three burst out laughing.

“Yes, that seems more like it,” Sirius said, grinning at James, as Lily and Remus attempted to catch their breath.

“Turban askew,” Lily giggled, “Wonder what that looks like,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Is this the same Lily Evans we’ve known for years?” Sirius asked, and they all laughed.

**“Everyone stared as he reached Professor Dumbledore's chair, slumped against the table, and gasped, "Troll – in the dungeons – thought you ought to know."**

**He then sank to the floor in a dead faint.”**

They all gaped at the book.

“WHAT?” Lily shrieked, “How did a _troll_ get in?”

“Not by itself!” James said, bewildered, eyes wide.

“Someone must’ve let it in,” Sirius said, an angry look in his eyes as they flickered to the Portrait Hole.

“It wasn’t Severus,” Lily said confidently, and the boys rolled their eyes.

“Of course it wasn’t,” Remus said, disguising his sarcasm, but Lily seemed to catch it, and James saw her eyes glint sadly.

**“There was an uproar. It took several purple fireworks exploding from the end of Professor Dumbledore's wand to bring silence.”**

“Purple?” Sirius asked, and Lily turned on him.

“Not the time,” she said, and he shrugged.

“I was simply going to point out that it was the colour of sexual frustration,” he muttered, and the boys burst out laughing as Lily sighed in exasperation, turning to Sirius to shoot him an exasperated smile.

**“"Prefects," he rumbled, "lead your Houses back to the dormitories immediately!"**

**Percy was in his element.”**

The boys grimaced.

“Wonder what’s worse,” Sirius mused, “Percy the Prefect, or a troll,” he said, and the others laughed.

“I’d have to go with Percy the Prefect,” James said, “Much more annoying. Plus, it’d be a slow and painful death, as opposed to a troll, where it’d be quick,” he added, and the other three burst out laughing.

“Can you imagine? Death by Percy,” Sirius said, and shuddered.

**“"Follow me! Stick together, first years! No need to fear the troll if you follow my orders! Stay close behind me, now. Make way, first years coming through! Excuse me, I'm a prefect!"”**

“Really Percy?” James gasped.

“We didn’t know!” Sirius said, imitating James’ tone.

**“"How could a troll get in?" Harry asked as they climbed the stairs.**

**"Don't ask me, they're supposed to be really stupid," said Ron. "Maybe Peeves let it in for a Halloween joke."”**

“They are really stupid!” Lily said, nodding her head.

“Peeves wouldn’t do that,” Remus snorted, “He’s not like that.”

“Agreed,” James said, “it’s too severe and dangerous for Peeves.”

“Plus, I think he’d be too chicken to do it,” Sirius snickered, and the others laughed.

**“They passed different groups of people hurrying in different directions. As they jostled their way through a crowd of confused Hufflepuffs, Harry suddenly grabbed Ron's arm.”**

“What? What happened?” Sirius asked, eyes wide in panic.

“I don’t know!” Remus squeaked, “Let Lily read!”

**“"I've just thought – Hermione."”**

Lily smiled, “Harry!” she cooed, grinning like a loon.

“Yes, he’s definitely Lily’s son,” Remus said, laughing, “When his life is in peril, he rescues those he dislikes,” he said, and both Sirius and James laughed. Lily was too far-gone in her happiness to be insulted by the obvious jab at her overt niceness.

**“"What about her?"”**

Lily scoffed, and the boys laughed.

**“"She doesn't know about the troll."”**

Lily smiled again, and the boys laughed.

“Lily, love, you are just too predictable,” James chuckled, kissing her forehead tenderly.

“Well _excuse me_ for being proud of my son,” she said, and he grinned at her.

“You’re excused,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“Ron bit his lip.**

**"Oh, all right," he snapped. "But Percy better not see us."”**

“I’d yell at him, but that would actually be disastrous,” Lily sighed, and the boys burst out laughing

“Just when I thought you were predictable,” Sirius said, and Lily beamed at him.

“Never make that mistake,” she said, and Sirius grinned as Remus and James laughed.

**“Ducking down, they joined the Hufflepuffs going the other way, slipped down a deserted corridor, and hurried off toward the girls' bathroom.”**

“They really are Marauderish, aren’t they?” Remus chuckled as James and Sirius beamed proudly. Lily seemed to be fighting between disapproval of rule breaking and pride that they were doing it to save someone.

“Don’t disapprove, approve,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly, smiling, as the other two boys laughed.

“I approve,” she said, and the boys beamed.

“We have successfully corrupted the goody two shoes!” Sirius announced, and James and Remus laughed at Lily’s affronted expression.

**“They had just turned the corner when they heard quick footsteps behind them.”**

“Percy!” Sirius squeaked, hiding his face.

**“"Percy!" hissed Ron, pulling Harry behind a large stone griffin.”**

“Great minds think alike,” James chuckled

“You think I’m great?” Sirius said dramatically, grinning sappily at James, who sighed dramatically

“‘Tis the truth,” he said dramatically, and Sirius beamed.

“Oh _James_!”

“Enough!” Remus said, looking sick, as Lily laughed.

**“Peering around it, however, they saw not Percy but Snape. He crossed the corridor and disappeared from view.”**

Sirius turned to Lily, who was biting her lip.

“He let it in,” he said, and Lily shook her head.

“He wouldn’t,” she said, but the sadness in her voice gave her true opinion away.

**“"What's he doing?" Harry whispered. "Why isn't he down in the dungeons with the rest of the teachers?"**

**"Search me."”**

“Lily, why would he be parading around if it wasn’t a plan?” Remus asked, and Lily sniffed.

“Fine! I get it! My ex-best friend turned to the dark side! Happy?” she exploded, and both Sirius and Remus adopted sorry expressions.

“Lily I-”

“Whatever,” she muttered, and turned the page violently. James looked at his friends, who looked genuinely upset that they’d upset Lily. He placed a hand on her knee and she sighed, “It’s fine,” she said, looking up at Sirius and Remus.

**“Quietly as possible, they crept along the next corridor after Snape's fading footsteps.**

**"He's heading for the third floor," Harry said, but Ron held up his hand.”**

“The stone?” James said warily, keeping his eyes on Lily

“There’s nothing else there,” she said, and looked over at Sirius and Remus, who were still looking guiltily down at the floor, “I wasn’t joking. It’s fine. I overreacted,” she said, and the boys shook their heads violently

“We shouldn’t have kept pushing on that topic,” Remus said, and Sirius nodded along violently.

“I don’t care,” said Lily, sounding tired, “Just keep bashing on him. It doesn’t seem normal if you don’t,” she said, smiling, and the two boys grinned at her. James smiled slightly, looking at her.

**“"Can you smell something?"”**

“Guilty,” said Sirius, and they all burst out laughing.

**“Harry sniffed and a foul stench reached his nostrils, a mixture of old socks and the kind of public toilet no one seems to clean.”**

“Okay, it wasn’t _that_ bad,” Sirius said, sounding offended, and the others continued to laugh.

**“And then they heard it – a low grunting, and the shuffling footfalls of gigantic feet.”**

They all paled.

“Run!” James urged, “It’s a bloody troll! Run!”

“They wont,” Lily said, sighing.

“Fingers crossed they live, eh?” Sirius said, laughing nervously.

**“Ron pointed – at the end of a passage to the left, something huge was moving toward them. They shrank into the shadows and watched as it emerged into a patch of moonlight.**

**It was a horrible sight. Twelve feet tall, its skin was a dull, granite grey, its great lumpy body like a boulder with its small bald head perched on top like a coconut. It had short legs thick as tree trunks with flat, horny feet. The smell coming from it was incredible. It was holding a huge wooden club, which dragged along the floor because its arms were so long.”**

They all paled.

“Merlin,” James breathed, eyes wide, horrified.

“They should _run_ ,” Sirius said, playing with the pillow of the armchair so he wouldn’t completely lose it.

“I’ve never seen a troll,” Remus said, eyes wide, “Merlin, that’s frightening!”

“It is!” James squeaked.

“If it sees them, they’ll be goners,” Lily said bluntly, and the boys nodded worriedly.

**“The troll stopped next to a doorway and peered inside. It waggled its long ears, making up its tiny mind, then slouched slowly into the room.”**

Lily paled.

“What?” James asked, and Lily shook her head, hand on her mouth, “What?”

“You’ll see,” she choked out, and the boys looked at the book curiously.

**“"The key's in the lock," Harry muttered. "We could lock it in."**

**"Good idea," said Ron nervously.”**

“Do it!” Sirius urged. James kept his eye on Lily, and saw her pale further. He rubbed her knee soothingly, and saw her fearful eyes flicker to him, before back down to the book.

**“They edged toward the open door, mouths dry, praying the troll wasn't about to come out of it. With one great leap, Harry managed to grab the key, slam the door, and lock it.**

**" _Yes!_ "”**

“YES!” Sirius and Remus yelled happily. James was still watching Lily. She shuddered slightly.

“What?” he whispered, and Lily whimpered.

“What room do you think it is?” she whispered, and James’ eyes widened, the blood draining out of his face.

**“Flushed with their victory, they started to run back up the passage, but as they reached the corner they heard something that made their hearts stop – a high, petrified scream – and it was coming from the chamber they'd just chained up.”**

“Shit,” Sirius gasped, smacking his hand to his mouth.

“Hermione!” James breathed.

“Idiots!” Remus groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

**“"Oh, no," said Ron, pale as the Bloody Baron.**

**"It's the girls' bathroom!" Harry gasped.**

**" _Hermione!_ " they said together.”**

“Go!” the boys urged, and Lily nodded.

“The poor girl,” Lily said, shaking her head.

**“It was the last thing they wanted to do, but what choice did they have?”**

“Absolutely none,” Lily said harshly, and the boys’ eyebrows shot up.

“Do all girls have the ‘mother’ attitude hidden somewhere in them?” Sirius asked, and Lily’s mouth twitched as Remus and James chuckled half-heartedly, still worried about Hermione.

**“Wheeling around, they sprinted back to the door and turned the key, fumbling in their panic. Harry pulled the door open and they ran inside.**

**Hermione Granger was shrinking against the wall opposite, looking as if she was about to faint. The troll was advancing on her, knocking the sinks off the walls as it went.”**

They all paled.

“I take back every bad thing I ever said about her,” Sirius said, “I just hope she makes it out of this okay.”

“She will,” Lily said confidently, nodding her still pale face.

“That’s bloody frightening,” James said, shuddering.

“Do not faint!” Remus squeaked, and the others nodded vigorously.

**“"Confuse it!" Harry said desperately to Ron, and, seizing a tap, he threw it as hard as he could against the wall.”**

“Smart boy,” Sirius chuckled.

**“The troll stopped a few feet from Hermione. It lumbered around, blinking stupidly, to see what had made the noise. Its mean little eyes saw Harry. It hesitated, then made for him instead, lifting its club as it went.”**

“Run!” James yelled, pale as a sheet.

“Oh Merlin!” Lily squeaked, “A troll is advancing on my eleven year old!” she choked, and the boys paled.

“This is frightening,” said Remus bluntly, “Oh my Merlin, and they’re _First Years_.”

“Bloody brave ones too,” Sirius muttered, and the other three nodded.

**“"Oy, pea-brain!" yelled Ron from the other side of the chamber, and he threw a metal pipe at it.”**

Sirius sniggered.

“What could possibly be funny right now?” Remus asked exasperatedly

“Pea-brain,” Sirius sniggered, and the other three laughed.

“You are one of a kind,” Lily laughed, shaking her head fondly, and Sirius grinned.

“I’m the only Outcast to your Mudblood,” he said, and Lily giggled

“Yes, you are,” she said, and his eyes twinkled, “Now lets see if my son and his friends survive, yes?” she suggested, and Sirius saluted.

**“The troll didn't even seem to notice the pipe hitting its shoulder, but heard the yell and paused again, turning its ugly snout toward Ron instead, giving Harry time to run around it.”**

“Yes for the running!” James said.

“No!” Lily squeaked, “Go to Hermione!”

“Or help Ron!” Sirius said, terrified.

“Whatever it is, do _something_ ,” Remus said, and the other three nodded in agreement.

**“"Come on, run, _run_!" Harry yelled at Hermione, trying to pull her toward the door, but she couldn't move, she was still flat again the wall, her mouth open with terror.”**

“Poor girl,” Lily said, shaking her head sadly.

“I can’t believe how selfless he is,” James said, shaking his head, smiling slightly.

“He gets it from me,” Lily said, winking at James, who chuckled as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“The shouting and the echoes seemed to be driving the troll berserk. It roared again and started toward Ron, who was nearest and had no way to escape.”**

“Help him!” Sirius yelled, alarmed.

**“Harry then did something that was both very brave and very stupid: he took a great running jump and managed to fasten his arms around the troll's neck from behind.”**

The four of their jaws dropped.

“That couldn’t have happened,” Sirius said, shaking his head, “Are you sure you’re reading properly? Because an eleven year old is _not_ brave enough to do that,” he said, and Lily shook her head, mouth open.

“H-he did,” she said.

“That _was_ a very stupid thing to do, though,” James muttered and Lily nodded.

“But ridiculously brave,” she whispered.

“He did that for his best mate,” Sirius said, smiling.

“Who wouldn’t?” James said, grinning at Sirius and Remus, who beamed back.

**“The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick along bit of wood up its nose,”**

“WHAT?” James roared, “You stuck your wand up his nose? How stupid could you get?”

“I doubt he did it on purpose,” Sirius said, fighting the urge to laugh.

**“and Harry's wand had still been in his hand when he'd jumped – and it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.”**

“See,” Sirius said, his voice strained from restraining his laughter.

“Oh just bloody laugh,” James said, mouth twitching, and Sirius obliged.

“That’s- so- funny,” he choked out, and the other three slowly joined in his hysterics, “He shoved his wand- his wand- up the trolls nose- up his _nose_ ,” he choked out, and by the end of his sentence, they were all roaring with laughter.

**“Howling in pain, the troll twisted and flailed its club, with Harry clinging on for dear life; any second, the troll was going to rip him off or catch him a terrible blow with the club.”**

“I should hope not,” Lily squeaked, frightened once more.

**“Hermione had sunk to the floor in fright;”**

Instead of saying something demeaning, Sirius smiled sympathetically, “Poor girl,” he said, smiling, and they all looked at him incredulously

“Call the newspapers!” James yelled, “Sirius Black has a soft side!”

“Oh Merlin!” Remus yelled in alarm.

“Yes, get the baby book,” Lily muttered sarcastically, and the boys burst out laughing

“The _baby book_?” Sirius laughed, “That’s a new one! Well done!”

“I try,” Lily grinned.

**“Ron pulled out his own wand – not knowing what he was going to do he heard himself cry the first spell that came into his head: " _Wingardium Leviosa!_ "”**

“What’s he going to do? Levitate the troll?” Remus asked, and the other three shook their heads, clueless.

“Isn’t that romantic? It was the first spell to pop into his head,” James cooed, and the other three grinned.

“That’s so cute!” Lily squealed, grinning like a fool.

“I always knew there was a little girl in there somewhere!” Sirius said, pointing to Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him as Remus and James laughed.

**“The club flew suddenly out of the troll's hand, rose high, high up into the air, turned slowly over – and dropped, with a sickening crack, onto its owner's head.”**

“BRILLIANT!” Sirius roared, grinning like the mad man he truly was.

“That was absolutely genius,” James said, beaming.

“I did _not_ see that coming,” Remus laughed

“I don’t think anyone could have,” James chuckled, shaking his head.

**“The troll swayed in the spot and then fell flat on its face, with a thud that made the whole room tremble.”**

“I’d make a fat joke, but it’s not even worth it,” Sirius said, and the other three laughed, suddenly in good spirits.

“I cannot believe this,” Lily said, shaking her head, “Three eleven year olds took on a troll and _won_ ,” she said disbelievingly.

“And one of them happened to be your son,” Sirius said, and Lily beamed.

“She’s right,” James said, smiling, “That’s just, wow.”

“Agreed,” Remus said, grinning.

**“Harry got to his feet. He was shaking and out of breath. Ron was standing there with his wand still raised, staring at what he had done.”**

“Ah these boys,” Lily said fondly as the three boys laughed.

“I love Ron,” Sirius laughed, “he’s surprised that he actually did something amazing,” he said, and the others laughed, “at least Harry’s reaction is justified.”

“Idiot brought it onto himself,” Lily muttered, and the boys grinned.

“Getting protective there, Evans?” Sirius teased, and Lily glowered as the boys snickered.

**“It was Hermione who spoke first.”**

“Shocker,” Sirius said, sounding amused, rather than nasty, for the first time.

**“"Is it – dead?"”**

“I sure hope so,” Remus muttered.

“But it wont be,” James said, “They just knocked it on the head.”

“Let me dream Prongs!” Remus said dramatically, and James laughed.

**“"I don't think so," said Harry, "I think it's just been knocked out."”**

James gave Remus a pointed look, which he resolutely ignored, much to Sirius and Lily’s amusement.

**“He bent down and pulled his wand out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.”**

“Gross!” Sirius whined, his face contorting in disgust.

“That’s so disgusting,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“On his wand too!” James said, attempting to control his gag reflexes.

“Relax,” Lily said, “He’ll wash it.”

“You sure?” James aid, and Lily scowled.

“He better.”

“For once, I’m one her side in all this hygiene stuff,” Sirius said, and the other boys laughed.

**“"Urgh – troll boogers."**

**He wiped it on the troll's trousers.”**

“Way to get back at the troll mate,” Sirius joked, and the others laughed.

**“A sudden slamming and loud footsteps made the three of them look up. They hadn't realized what a racket they had been making, but of course, someone downstairs must have heard the crashes and the troll's roars.”**

“Merlin, that must’ve been _quite_ a noise,” Remus said, eyebrows high on his forehead.

“I’m amazed nobody got there earlier,” Lily said, frowning.

“Well, the students are all in their Common Rooms, and the teachers were in the dungeons,” Sirius said, and the Lily and Remus sighed.

“I think this is the first time Padfoot ahs had a point over you two,” James said in amazement, and Sirius scowled playfully as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“A moment later, Professor McGonagall had come bursting into the room,”**

They all groaned.

“She’s going to be _so_ mad,” Sirius muttered

“And for good reason,” Lily said, and he sighed, before nodding in agreement.

**“closely followed by Snape,”**

“Oh look who’s returned,” Lily said bitterly, and the boys grimaced awkwardly.

**“with Quirrell bringing up the rear. Quirrell took one look at the troll, let out a faint whimper, and sat down quickly down on a toilet, clutching his heart.”**

The boys snorted.

“Wimp,” James said and Lily laughed

“Why is it you’ve never taken to him?” she asked, and he shrugged.

“There’s something strange about him,” he said, and Lily sighed, shaking her head as Remus and Sirius rolled their eyes.

**“Snape bent over the troll.”**

“They’re having a reunion,” Sirius said, “long lost brothers, you see,” he finished, and the others burst out laughing.

**“Professor McGonagall was looking at Ron and Harry. Harry had never seen her look so angry. Her lips were white. Hopes of winning fifty points for Gryffindor faded quickly from Harry's mind.”**

They all laughed.

“McGonagall would never reward you for breaking the rules,” Sirius chuckled.

“They all learn with time,” James said, shaking his head fondly.

**“"What on earth were you thinking?" said Professor McGonagall, with cold fury in her voice. Harry looked at Ron, who was still standing with his wand in the air.”**

“Put your wand down!” Remus laughed.

“He just gave her reason to assume it was their fault,” James chuckled, shaking his head.

“Wonder what Hermione’ll say,” Lily mused, and Sirius shrugged.

“She’ll probably stay silent.”

“Doubt it,” Lily said, shaking her head, and Sirius scowled, causing Remus and James to laugh; Sirius hated being wrong.

**“"You're lucky you weren't killed. Why aren't you in your dormitory?"”**

“Because we’re courageous Gryffindors who decided to defeat the troll and save the lady whilst you lot were busy fluttering about he dungeons,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

“She’s got a point” James said, “They were lucky they weren’t killed.”

“Well, we all know that,” Sirius said, “But they weren’t, so let’s forget that, yeah?”

**“Snape gave Harry a swift, piercing look.”**

“Don’t you _dare_ glare at my son,” Lily said harshly, and the boys swallowed nervously. An angry Lily was not something they felt qualified enough to deal with.

**“Harry looked at the floor. He wished Ron would put his wand down.”**

They all laughed.

“That boy is _still_ in shock?” Sirius asked, grinning.

“He’s probably just surprised that the spell actually worked,” James chuckled, “Remember the first time one of our spells worked?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said dreamily, “It was like magic!” he said, and burst out laughing as the other three rolled their eyes, all secretly fighting off laughter.

**“Then a small voice came out of the shadows.**

**"Please, Professor McGonagall – they were looking for me."”**

“Hermione!” Sirius gasped, grinning.

“I knew she’d come around,” Remus smiled, and they all laughed at Lily’s eye roll.

“No you didn’t,” she muttered, and Remus flushed.

“Well, I did in this situation,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“I still get credit for her,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Fine,” James said, and Lily beamed.

**“"Miss Granger!"**

**Hermione had managed to get to her feet at last.**

**"I went looking for the troll because I – I thought I could deal with it on my own – you know, because I've read all about them."”**

They all gasped.

“She’s- she’s _lying_?” James spluttered in amazement.

“I may have to start really liking her,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You always liked her, Sirius,” she said, and Sirius pinked slightly as Remus and James snickered.

**“Ron dropped his wand. Hermione Granger, telling a downright lie to a teacher?”**

“I know right?” Sirius said, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Ah Ronald, nice to know we’re on the same page,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed.

**“"If they hadn't found me, I'd be dead now. Harry stuck his wand up its nose”**

As if on cue, Sirius sniggered, and the others laughed at his immaturity.

**“and Ron knocked it out with its own club. They didn't have time to come and fetch anyone. It was about to finish me off when they arrived."”**

“Hermione Granger,” James said, smiling, “You are my third favorite female in the world,” he said, and Sirius laughed.

“Mummy, Lily and then Hermione,” he said, and James flushed, as did Lily, as Remus and Sirius sniggered madly.

“You know what Sirius,” James said, “It’s the same for you!”

“So?” Sirius said, “I don’t flush so it doesn’t matter,” he winked, and James cursed as Lily laughed.

“It’s the bloody redhead genes,” James muttered, “Bloody Potter men and their redheads,” he added bitterly, and Lily rolled her eyes fondly as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“Harry and Ron tried to look as though this story wasn't new to them.”**

The boys roared with laughter and Lily giggled.

“How do you do manage that?” she asked, and the boys grinned

“It’s easy, actually,” James said

“Oh, of course, you lot must’ve had tons of practice,” she teased, and they beamed, nodding.

“Of course!” Sirius said, “Whenever one of us has to come up with a brilliantly extravagant excuse, we all have to pretend it’s true,” he said, and Lily giggled.

“Yes, and those excuses almost never work.”

“Yes, but they seldom do,” he said, and Lily laughed as James and Remus rolled their eyes.

**“"Well – in that case…" said Professor McGonagall, staring at the three of them, "Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?"”**

“And she’s taking this?” Sirius gasped.

“She’s not as bad as you think,” Lily said, grinning cheekily, and the boys laughed

“We’re not talking about you, self-centered prat,” James teased, and Lily giggled as Reus and Sirius roared with laughter

“Oi, Potter, that’s copyrighted, you arrogant toerag,” she said, and James pouted magnificently. Lily beamed.

**“Hermione hung her head. Harry was speechless. Hermione was the last person to do anything against the rules, and here she was, pretending she had, to get them out of trouble. It was as if Snape had started handing out sweets.”**

The boys burst out laughing and Lily shook her head.

“That would be the absolute end of the world,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

“Snape? Handing out sweets?” James laughed, “Only if they were used to poison the poor.”

“Of course,” Remus snorted, and they all laughed, “He’s such a creative child, it’s hilarious,” Remus said, and James and Lily beamed at each other.

“I still can’t believe Hermione’s lying to keep them out of trouble,” Sirius said, shaking his head fondly.

“Believe it,” Remus said, and Sirius shot him a sardonic look as James and Lily laughed.

**“"Miss Granger, five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this," said Professor McGonagall. "I'm very disappointed in you. If you're not hurt at all, you'd better get off to Gryffindor tower. Students are finishing the feast in their houses."”**

“Like a picnic!” Sirius sung, “I wish we could do that!”

“So I suppose you’re going ot let the troll in then?” James said, and Sirius snorted as Remus and Lily laughed.

“No, mate, we’ll just send Wormtail in there,” Sirius said.

“Of course,” James chuckled, “Just make him take his socks off.”

“James!” Lily chastised, and Remus chuckled

“You cant even yell at him for that,” Remus said, “he’s absolutely right,” he said, and Lily’s face contorted with disgust.

“You can’t be serious.”

“No, that’s me,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed, “But he’s not joking. We make him sleep with socks on,” he said, and the other two boys nodded vigorously.

“Doesn’t he even, I don’t know, shower?” she asked, and the boys burst out laughing as she blushed furiously.

“It’s his natural body odor,” Sirius said, “Trust me, we’ve scourgified him multiple times.”

“That’s gross,” Lily shuddered, and the boys chuckled.

**“Hermione left.”**

“BYE!” Sirius yelled, waving, and Lily rolled her eyes, turning back to the book, as James and Remus snickered.

**“Professor McGonagall turned to Harry and Ron.”**

“Brace yourselves,” Sirius said in a deep voice, and the other three laughed.

**“"Well, I still say you were lucky, but not many first years could have taken on a full-grown mountain troll. You each win Gryffindor five points. Professor Dumbledore will be informed of this. You may go."”**

“What? No detentions?” Sirius gasped.

“They only got ten points?” James asked, bewildered

“Technically, they got five, since McGonagall took five from Hermione,” Lily pointed out, and James’ jaw dropped.

“ _Five points_?” James asked, flabbergasted, “That’s _it_?”

“That’s ridiculous,” Remus agreed, “They deserve way more than five points,” he said, and James nodded furiously.

“They took on a bloody troll, for Merlin’s sakes,” he said, and Lily sighed

“Which is why they didn’t get that many points,” she said, and he huffed.

“Fine,” he muttered, and Lily giggled.

**“They hurried out of the chamber and didn't speak at all until they had climbed two floors up.”**

“What do you think?” Sirius asked, “Shock, or to make sure McGonagall had no idea what they were talking about?”

“Shock,” Lily said almost immediately, and Sirius scowled at her

“You’re not allowed to play this game anymore,” he said, and she smirked as James and Remus laughed.

**“It was a relief to be away from the smell of the troll, quite apart from anything else.”**

“You were wrong!” Sirius sung, “It was _relief_!”

“Well, that wasn’t one of your options, so you were wrong too,” Lily said coolly, and Sirius’ expression fell, causing James and Remus to snigger madly.

**“"We should have gotten more than ten points," Ron grumbled.”**

“I agree,” Sirius muttered.

**“"Five, you mean, once she's taken off Hermione's."”**

“I see you got your mothers’ math abilities,” Remus commented, winking at the appalled James, as Sirius and Lily laughed.

“I could’ve done that!” James protested

“Ah, but the real question then is, why didn’t you?” Sirius asked, and James scowled as Sirius, Remus and Lily laughed.

**“"Good of her to get us out of trouble like that," Ron admitted. "Mind you, we did save her."”**

“Can’t you just say you’re grateful?” Lily asked exasperatedly, and the boys chuckled

“No,” Sirius said, “He has his pride.”

“All men do,” James added, and Lily nodded.

“No wonder you lot can express your emotions so well,” she mused, “you’re not man enough to have pride,” she winked, and the three boys shot her faux angry looks.

“You’ll pay for that Evans,” Sirius said dangerously, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly.

**“"She might not have needed saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her," Harry reminded him.”**

“Ah, there’s my boy,” Lily smiled, and the boys scowled

“Harry, I am disappointed in you,” James said, and Lily snorted

“As if,” she teased, and James sighed dramatically

“Must you always ruin my stern paternal moments?” he asked, and Lily giggled as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“When they’re that ridiculous, yes,” she said, and James stuck his tongue out a her as the other two continued to laugh.

**“They had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.**

**"Pig snout," they said and entered.”**

“Pig snout,” Sirius snorted, “most unoriginal password ever,” he muttered.

“How would that be original?” Lily asked, quirking an eyebrow, and Sirius flushed.

“That comment made more sense in my head,” he muttered, and both James and Remus snickered.

“So it probably didn’t make much sense to start with,” she teased, and Sirius gasped, attempting to fight a smile as Remus and James roared with laughter.

“Don’t push it Evans,” he said, “I’m already punishing you for the jab at my man-ness.”

“I’m frightened,” she said sarcastically, and Sirius’ mouth twitched with laughter as James and Remus laughed again.

**“The common room was packed and noisy. Everyone was eating the food that had been sent up. Hermione, however, stood alone by the door, waiting for them.”**

“That’s so cute!” Lily cooed, grinning.

“What’s she doing?” James asked, and Lily smiled.

“She’s going to thank them,” she said happily.

“For what?” Sirius asked, and she turned to him exasperatedly.

“For saving her life?”

“Oh, of course,” Sirius said, flushing, as James and Remus snickered.

**“There was a very embarrassed pause. Then, none of them looking at each other, they all said "Thanks," and hurried off to get plates.”**

They al grinned hugely

“That is _the cutest_ thing _ever_!” Lily squealed, and James looked at her, eyebrows raised, amused.

“Have you always been so girly?” he asked, and Lily scowled

“Only when cute things happen,” she said, and James chuckled, as did Sirius and Remus.

“She’s right, though,” said Sirius, “that was adorable,” he said, and both Remus and James gave in to their loony grins as well.

“Looks like the start to an amazing friendship,” Remus said, and the other three beamed.

**“But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.”**

They all chuckled

“Of course,” Sirius said, and they all laughed.

“There,” Lily said, closing the book, “that’s the chapter.”

“I liked that chapter,” James said, and Lily grinned.

“What’s next?” Remus asked, and Lily looked down at the book

**“Chapter 11: Quidditch.”**

“Read it!” James said excitedly

“I’m _so_ excited!” Sirius yelled happily.

“But I’m hungry,” James said, and Sirius gasped, touching his stomach.

“Me too!” he breathed, “We’ll read it _as soon as_ we come back,” he commanded, and Lily snorted.

“Fine,” she said, and the boys beamed. She then noticed something and frowned, “Where’s Remus?”

“Right here,” a voice said from behind her, and she screamed as suddenly, three boys pounced at her.

“Stop!” she shrieked, as three pairs of hands began to tickle her, “Stop!” she choked out through her laughter, squirming around, but it wasn’t any use. Sirius was on one side of her, Remus was on the other, and James was tickling her feet.

“This is for picking on our manliness,” Sirius said, as Lily shrieked, barely heard over the boys’ laughter.

“This…is…inhumane!” she managed to scream through her laughter, and the boys sniggered.

“No it’s not,” James said, holding her ankle tightly as she attempted ot kick him off.

“Now Lily,” Remus said calmly, as she continued to scream with laughter, “if you apologize, we’ll let you go,” he said, and Lily squealed as James managed to grab both of her legs in one arm.

“Fine!” she choked out after a few more seconds of merciless torture, “Fine! I’m sorry!”

“Why?” Sirius asked, grinning as he continued ot tickle the laughing redhead

“Sorry for what?” James asked.

“For…for challenging your manliness!” she screamed, and the three hands withdrew, “Jerks,” she muttered, and the boys grinned.

“We love you too,” Sirius aid, “Now come on, time for food,” he said, and Lily sighed, getting off the sofa, wiping the tears from the laughter off her face. Sirius and Remus grinned at her mischievously and made their way to the Portrait Hole as she and James tagged behind, James grabbing her hand.

“I hate you,” she muttered, and he beamed.

“Oh, I know,” he said, and she huffed irritably, “but that’s a passionate emotion, is it not?” he asked, and against her better judgment, she giggled. Suddenly, Sirius turnd around and walked over to her, stopping right in front ofher.

“What is it?” he asked, and she quirked an eyebrow, before laughing.

“You said you’d _guess_ my middle name,” she said, and he scowled. He glared at James, who snickered as Remus joined him, and then turned back down to the redhead.

“Catherine?”

“No,” she said, grinning.

“You swore you would tell him if he guessed right,” Remus said, and Lily nodded

“I know,” she said and Sirius grinned

“Cate?”

“With a C? Really Sirius?”

“Fine,” he muttered, ignoring his friends’ chuckles, “Chloe?”

“Do I _look_ like a Chloe?” she asked, amused.

“It was worth a shot,” he muttered, “Cassie?”

“Really Sirius?” Lily asked, amused.

“I was just _checking_!” he said defensively.

“Make sensible guesses, you dolt,” Lily laughed, and he snorted

“They are sensible!” he said, “Names are names!”

“Fine,” she laughed, as James tickled the pear, and they walked into the kitchens. They sat down at one of the tables, and the ever-eager house elves shoved food underneath their noses. Sirius looked up from his food, grinning at Lily.

“Casserole?”

* * *

**I just want to say, I mean no offence to golfers, or anyone else who takes offence to this chapter, or any of my other chapters.**

 

**REVIEW PLEASE.**


	12. Quidditch

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I simply meddle with the characters.**

* * *

“Lily!”

She turned around to see James sprinting towards her, and smirked, “What do you want, Potter?” she asked in her most ferocious manner, and James laughed.

“Go out with me, Evans?” he asked, smiling crookedly at her, and Lily snorted.

“When hell freezes over,” she said, and James beamed.

“Well, the floor is covered in snow, so I figure now’s as good a time as ever,” he winked, and Lily laughed.

“Well done,” she said, and he took a bow.

“What’re you doing out here, anyway?” he asked, as they walked through the snow covered grounds.

“I felt like some fresh air,” she shrugged

“That’s what windows are for,” he said, grinning cheekily, and Lily threw him a scathing look, causing his grin to widen.

“Why? Why do you enjoy doing this to me?” she asked, and James laughed, and turned so he was standing in front of her, blocking her path.

“Because,” he said, and she quirked an eyebrow.

“Because?”

“Yes, because,” he answered, smiling, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“That’s no answer.”

“It is now,” he sung, and Lily giggled as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Why are you so clingy?” she teased, grinning up at him, and wrapping her arms around his neck. He gasped, and dropped his arms immediately

“I am not _clingy_ ,” he hissed, and she grinned at him, “ _You’re_ the one who’s holding onto me,” he pointed out, and she shrugged.

“Yes, but I am clingy,” she said, and he laughed, placing his hands on her hips.

“Are you now?”

“Yes,” she said, nodding her head, “I’m clingy, and whiney, and sensitive, and-”

“Lily Evans,” James laughed, “Are you trying to get me to break up with you?”

“Why? Is it working?” she asked, and he chuckled, leaning his forehead against hers.

“I don’t think anything would,” he said, and she beamed up at him.

“Can we add cheesy to your list?” she asked, and he narrowed his eyes at her, only causing her smile to grow.

“Isn’t this _nice_?”

“Make him go away,” Lily whined, and James chuckled, kissing her forehead. Sirius gasped and clutched at his chest, sauntering over to them, Remus right behind him, laughing.

“Why, Lily love, that’s hurtful,” he said, and James grinned as Lily rolled her eyes at him.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, and Sirius sighed.

“Well, I came here to try and win you back, but it seems like he’s got you caught in his trap,” he said dramatically, and Lily giggled. James mock scowled at his best mate, who stopped right next to Lily, Remus falling into step beside him.

“Well, you should give up and leave then, shouldn’t you?” James said, and Sirius gasped as Lily grinned at James and Remus laughed.

“How _rude_ ,” Sirius said dramatically, “Come on Lily, we’re leaving,” he said, and Remus snorted.

“She’s not going anywhere,” he said, gesturing to the couple’s current position.

“Oh, yes, I see,” Sirius said, “You know, it’s not very nice to _parade_ your bloody couple-ness in my company when you know _very well_ that I am miserable,” he said, and the other three laughed, “But I know how you can make it up to me,” he said, eyes twinkling, and Lily groaned as Remus and James chuckled.

“I am _not_ telling you my middle name,” she said, and Sirius stomped his foot.

“Why can’t you just _tell_ me?” Sirius whined

“Did you just _stomp your foot_?” James asked, amused.

“There’s nothing wrong with that!” Sirius hissed, and Lily laughed.

“It’s a very girly thing to do, Sirius,” she said, and he scowled at her.

“I will find out,” he said, “when you’re Quidditch Captain they’ll announce it,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“Speaking of Quidditch,” Remus said, “Don’t you want to get back to the book?” he said, and Lily squeaked, letting go of James immediately.

“James let go,” she said, and he shook his head childishly, causing his friends to laugh, “I _knew_ you were clingy,” she said, and he let go immediately. She grinned up at him before turning on her heel and walking up to the castle.

“She’s a keeper, that one,” Sirius said, and James grinned.

“I thought she was Captain?”

* * *

“Took you long enough,” Lily teased, sitting cross-legged on her armchair.

“Evans!” Sirius yelled, and she beamed at him, “I want to sit there!”

“No,” she said, and he turned to James, looking highly scandalized.

“Prongs!” he said, and James grinned, “Control your woman!”

“Excuse me?” Lily squeaked, as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“You heard me,” Sirius winked, before sighing dramatically, “Looks like I’m stuck with Prongs,” he said, flopping down onto the sofa next to James, leaving Remus with the other armchair.

“If I must,” James sighed, and Sirius sniffed.

“That’s hurtful,” he cried, and James shrugged.

“You’re not the only woman in my life now,” James said, and Sirius scowled as Remus and Lily laughed.

“Just read the damn book,” Sirius muttered, turning away from the snickering James and crossing his arms moodily. Lily giggled and opened the book to the right page.

**“As they entered November, the weather turned very cold.”**

“I wonder why,” Remus gasped, and the others laughed

“I mean, it’s not like winter’s approaching or anything,” James replied, imitating Remus’ tone

“I know!” Remus yelled.

**“The mountains around the school became icy gray and the lake like chilled steel. Every morning the ground was covered in frost.”**

“Poetic,” Sirius said dreamily, and Lily rolled her eyes, “Isn’t he just your knight in shining armor?” he asked Lily, who snorted as James and Remus laughed.

“No!” James gasped, “That’s me!”

“I never wanted a knight in shining armor,” she said, “I wanted a Prince.” The boys laughed.

“Well, he’s rich enough to _be_ a Prince,” Remus said, and James flushed darkly

“Please stop with the ‘James is a rich boy’ jokes,” James whined, and Remus and Sirius grinned.

“Not likely,” Sirius said, clapping James on the back, and James groaned as Lily giggled.

**“Hagrid could be seen from the upstairs windows defrosting broomsticks on the Quidditch field, bundled up in a long moleskin overcoat, rabbit fur gloves, and enormous beaver skin boots.”**

“Is it just me, or does what he’s wearing sound bloody comfortable?” Sirius asked, and the others snorted.

“It does actually,” Lily said after a moments thought, “He sounds very…very…” she trailed off, looking for the word.

“Warm?” James suggested, and Lily shook her head.

“That’s not the word I’m looking for,” she said, and James chuckled.

“Whatever it is,” he said, “he probably has to be comfortable, considering he’s doing the most boring thing _ever_ ,” he muttered.

“Defrosting broomsticks,” Remus agreed solemnly, and Sirius scowled.

“That sounds bloody boring,” Sirius said, and the others chuckled.

“It does,” James agreed.

“This is why you should stay in school,” Lily said, and Sirius snorted as James and Remus laughed.

“I don’t need school,” Sirius said, leaning back and putting his feet up on the coffee table.

“Because you’re just a bloody genius, aren’t you?” Lily said sarcastically, and both James and Remus sniggered as Sirius’ jaw dropped

“Ginger-Flower, are you implying that I am _not_ a genius?” he gasped, smirking as Lily scowled at the use of her nickname,

“Don’t need to imply it,” she said overly sweetly, and Sirius threw her a mock glare as James and Remus snickered.

**“The Quidditch season had begun.”**

James and Sirius performed a little dance on the sofa together.

“We should never let them sit together from now on,” Lily mused, and Remus snorted.

“Agreed,” he said, nodding, “Maybe you should sit next to Prongs from now on.”

“No thanks,” she said, and James gasped, clutching his chest, as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“Lily!”

“What, Potter?” she asked, and he winked at her as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“On Saturday, Harry would be playing in his first match after weeks of training: Gryffindor versus Slytherin.”**

“Kill them!” Sirius roared, pumping his fist in the air.

“He’s playing his _first ever_ Quidditch match,” James said excitedly, “and I assure you, my friend, Slytherin will go home crying,” he said, winking at Sirius, who sniggered madly.

“I love it when the Slytherins cry,” he said, and James smirked in agreement.

“I’m afraid,” Lily whispered to Remus, who laughed.

“Me too, Lils, me too,” he said, running his hand through his hair, as Sirius and James smirked evilly at the prospect of sobbing Slytherins.

**“If Gryffindor won, they would move up into second place in the house championship.”**

“And they will,” James said confidently

“So they’ll be second place,” Sirius finished.

“And then they’ll win their next match.”

“And get first”

“And then the school shall bow before them”

“The Slytherins will sob.”

“The Gryffindors will cheer”

“And-“

“Enough!” Remus laughed, as Lily shook her head disapprovingly, attempting to fight off a fast growing smile.

“No!” Sirius argued childishly, sticking his tongue out at Remus, who rolled his eyes as Lily grinned.

“What are you going to do about it, Moony?” James teased, and Remus muttered something under his breath, crossing his arms dejectedly, as James and Sirius high fived and Lily gave in to her giggles.

**“Hardly anyone had seen Harry play because Wood had decided that, as their secret weapon, Harry should be kept, well, secret.”**

“That’s good logic,” James said, and Lily snorted

“Yes, keeping a _secret_ weapon a _secret_ , how did he ever think of that?” she said sarcastically, and James stuck his tongue out at her as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“I was just pointing that out,” he said, and Lily grinned

“Okay James,” she said sweetly, and James scowled at her condescending tone as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“Then again,” Sirius said, “This is Hogwarts.”

“So nothing stays a secret,” James finished, “Therefore, my comment was _not_ so stupid,” he said, glaring at Lily, who shrugged, grinning.

“James, your comments will always be stupid,” she said, winking, and James’ lips twitched as Sirius and Remus chuckled.

**“But the news that he was playing Seeker had leaked out somehow,”**

James threw Lily a triumphant look, which she chose not to see, causing the other two to snicker.

**“and Harry didn't know which was worse - people telling him he'd be brilliant or people telling him they'd be running around underneath him holding a mattress.”**

The boys sniggered. Lily scowled.

“That’s mean,” she said bluntly, and the boys shrugged.

“It’s competition,” James said, and she threw him a look, “what? It is!”

“Are you telling me that you say that to people?” she asked, and he beamed.

“Only Slytherins,” he said, and against her better judgment, Lily giggled.

**“It was really lucky that Harry now had Hermione as a friend.”**

“There’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear,” Remus said amusedly, and Lily grinned proudly.

“Still taking credit?” James asked, and Lily grinned, nodding.

“That’s not fair!” Sirius said, and she turned to him with raised eyebrows.

“And you’re one to talk,” she said, and he flushed slightly as James and Remus sniggered.

“Rude, Evans.”

“Tough, Black,” she responded, imitating his tone, and Sirius barked a laugh.

**“He didn't know how he'd have gotten through all his homework without her,”**

“Girls do have their uses,” Sirius agreed, and winked at Lily’s scandalized expression.

“Sirius!” she shrieked, as James and Remus hid chuckles and Sirius openly beamed at her.

“Yes?” he asked innocently, and James covered a bark of laughter with a very violent coughing fit.

“That’s so- so-”

“Pathetic? Dim-witted?” he suggested, and Lily snorted.

“Idiotic,” she said, and Sirius gasped as James and Remus laughed.

“Say it isn’t so!” he cried, and Lily huffed, “Come on Ginger-Flower, you know you want to laugh.”

“No, I _don’t_ know,” she said, and he beamed

“Well, now you do,” he winked, and Lily fought a smile as Remus and James succumbed to laughter.

**“what with all the last-minute Quidditch practice Wood was making them do.”**

“So it isn’t just you then,” Sirius mumbled, glaring at James, who grinned.

“No, it isn’t,” he said, smiling angelically, “So you should stop complaining.”

“Sorry,” Sirius said, “The message is from my male parts,” he said, and Remus and Lily burst out laughing as James shook his head fondly, “You’re harboring my chances at having children!” Sirius cried, and James beamed

“Not harboring mine, obviously, so that’s okay,” he said, grinning cheekily, and Sirius scowled as Remus and Lily laughed, Lily slightly awkwardly.

**“She had also lent him _Quidditch Through the Ages_ , which turned out to be a very interesting read.”**

“Isn’t it?” James asked excitedly, and Sirius rolled his eyes at Lily, who giggled.

“Mate, I think you’re one of the only people who read that,” he said, and James scowled at him.

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” Remus said, chuckling, “Even _I_ have never read that.”

“Yes, and he’s read every book in the library except that one!” Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes, causing Lily to grin. James sighed, and ran his hand through his hair, and Lily, taking pity on the poor boy, sighed.

“I’ve read it,” she said, and James’ expression lit up as Sirius’ jaw dropped.

“What?” Sirius squeaked, and Lily shrugged, smiling slightly. James turned to her and beamed at her, full force, and she couldn’t keep the grin off her face. Somehow, James’ happiness seemed contagious. It even made lying about being a Quidditch nerd to Sirius worth it.

“See,” James said, turning to grin at Sirius who groaned. Lily looked over at Remus, who smiled at her knowingly, and shrugged, causing him to grin and turn back to his bickering friends.

**“Harry learned that there were seven hundred ways of committing a Quidditch foul”**

“Are there really?” Lily gasped, and James nodded knowledgably as Sirius and Remus exchanged a look regarding his insane Quidditch knowledge.

“All of them happened during a World Cup match,” James said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up, “In 1473”

“How do you know this?” she asked, attempting to tease but looking much too impressed to come across as condescending.

“I read,” he said, winking at Lily, who rolled her eyes, smiling, as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“and that all of them had happened during a World Cup match in 1473;”**

“And _I’m_ a nerd,” Lily muttered, and James’ jaw dropped as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter

“I am not a nerd!”

“Yes, you are,” she laughed, “when it comes to Quidditch at least”

“And Transfiguration,” Remus said, and Lily glared at James, who beamed at her.

“I’ll tutor you, if you want,” he said innocently, and Lily narrowed her eyes as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“that Seekers were usually the smallest and fastest players,”**

“Yes, they are,” James nodded.

“Which is why _you_ , my dear, are a Seeker,” Sirius said, “Because small is in your genes!”

“Oi!” James said, flushing, and Sirius snickered.

“I was talking about Lily,” he said, and Lily let out a shriek of indignation as the boys laughed.

“I am not small!” she squeaked, and the boys grinned at her.

“I beg to differ,” James said, and Lily glared at him.

“ _You’re_ small,” she muttered defensively, and James regarded her amusedly as Remus and Sirius laughed

“Is that the best you can do?” he teased, and Lily crossed her arms, steadily turning red, “Lily Evans, I believe you’re losing your touch.”

“ _You’re_ losing your touch,” she mumbled, and James threw his head back, laughing, as the other two boys continued to roar with laughter and Lily hid her face in her knees.

**“and that most serious Quidditch accidents seemed to happen to them;”**

“Alas, that is the sad truth,” James said, and Sirius snickered.

“ _You’re_ the sad truth,” he said, and Lily hid her face once again as the boys laughed.

“You’re cruel,” she said, and Sirius smiled at her.

“I learn from the best,” he winked, and Lily laughed.

“That’s true,” she said, and Sirius laughed.

“Arrogant git,” James said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at his grinning face as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“that although people rarely died playing Quidditch, referees had been known to vanish and turn up months later in the Sahara Desert.”**

“Especially when they make bloody stupid calls,” Sirius muttered, and the other boys nodded as Lily shook her head fondly.

**“Hermione had become a bit more relaxed about breaking rules”**

“Good for her,” James said.

“Yay!” Sirius said happily. Lily looked scandalized.

“What did they _do_ to her?” she gasped, and the boys laughed.

“Ah Lily, only you can go through life following the rules,” Remus said, and Lily sighed dramatically.

“I don’t follow the rules,” she said, and the boys snorted.

“Lily, you’re a goody girl,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head playfully.

“I’m not! I’m a terrible, foul person,” she said, grinning, and the boys chuckled

“Tell me one thing you do that would make you a terrible foul person,” James said, and Lily thought for a moment.

“I curse,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing, “In my head. All the time. It’s a never-ending stream of curse words. I swear. It’s disgusting.”

“Is it?” James asked, grinning, and Lily beamed.

“Yes,” she nodded, and the boys chuckled.

“I don’t believe you,” James said, and Lily glared at him.

“Its true.”

“Well, say one,” he said, and Lily’s jaw dropped

“What?” she squeaked, and James grinned devilishly.

“A filthy curse word. Say one,” he said, and she shook her head, “then I’m afraid I don’t believe you,” he said and Lily glared at him.

“It’s true!” she said, and James beamed. Sirius and Remus were following their discussion, their heads looking back and forth as comments were exchanged, wide smiles on their faces.

“Then say one,” he said, “prove it.”

“I can’t,” she said, and he smirked

“And why not?”

“B-because the words, t-they’re _filthy_ ,” she said, and James threw his head back, laughing, “It wouldn’t be right to say them out loud. I wouldn’t want to violate your ears,” she said, smiling as the three boys roared with laughter.

“How considerate of you,” Remus laughed, and Lily grinned

“I try.”

“You, Lily Evans, are remarkable,” Sirius said affectionately, and Lily beamed at him.

**“since Harry and Ron had saved her from the mountain troll, and she was much nicer for it.”**

“Well, she should be,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Actually, if you almost die breaking the rules, doesn’t it make sense to become a strict rule abider?” she asked, and the boys grinned.

“No,” Sirius said, eyes twinkling as he looked at Remus, who flushed slightly, “eh _Moony_?” he asked, and Remus glared at him as James and Sirius roared with laughter.

“Another one of those things I can’t know?” Lily asked, and Remus shot her an apologetic look, “Alright,” she said good-naturedly, flashing him a smile, before looking down at the book.

**“The day before Harry's first Quidditch match the three of them were out in the freezing courtyard during break, and she had conjured them up a bright blue fire that could be carried around in a jam jar.”**

“In First Year?” Remus asked, impressed.

“I love those flames,” Lily said happily, and the boys chuckled.

“Why?” James asked, and Lily grinned.

“Because you can scoop them up!” she said excitedly, “With your _hands_!”

“That is actually pretty neat,” James agreed, smiling in response to Lily’s childlike fascination.

**“They were standing with their backs to it, getting warm,”**

“Warming buttocks, are they?” Sirius asked, and the others laughed.

“Merlin knows a freezing buttocks could be disastrous,” James said, nodding.

“You wouldn’t be able to sit!”

“Merlin! What if you got frostbite?”

“Oh no! What would you do if your buttocks fell off?”

“You’d have no cushion to sit on!”

“Yes, as terrible as that sounds, that is _not_ the focus of the chapter,” Lily said, and the boys grinned at her, “So can we _please_ move on?”

“Only because you said the magic word,” Sirius said, grinning cheekily, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered.

**“when Snape crossed the yard.”**

Sirius made gagging noises.

**“Harry noticed at once that Snape was limping.”**

“Oh no,” Sirius said, grinning like a loon.

“I hope it’s hurting him,” James said longingly, and Lily clucked her tongue as the three boys laughed.

**“Harry, Ron, and Hermione moved closer together to block the fire from view; they were sure it wouldn't be allowed.”**

“It isn’t,” Lily said.

“I never knew why that was against the rules,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged

“Oh so do you just listen because it’s a rule?” James teased, and Lily scowled at him as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Rules are there for a reason!”

“And what is that reason?” James challenged, and she huffed, crossing her arms, causing the three boys to smirk.

**“Unfortunately, something about their guilty faces caught Snape's eye.”**

“Obviously,” James said bitterly.

**“He limped over.”**

Sirius sniggered.

“That’s mean Sirius,” Lily said, shaking her head exasperatedly.

“He’s mean,” he said simply, and Lily bit her lip to stop from smiling as James and Remus chuckled.

**“He hadn't seen the fire, but he seemed to be looking for a reason to tell them off anyway.”**

“Surprise, surprise,” Sirius said in a falsely cheery tone.

“I bet he’d even tell Harry off for not brushing his hair,” Remus said, and James’ eyes narrowed.

“It _grows_ like that,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“Shame,” she said sadly, winking at James, who shot her a sarcastic look as his two friends’ laughed.

**“"What's that you've got there, Potter?" It was _Quidditch Through the Ages_. Harry showed him.”**

“That sounds relatively safe,” Lily said, and the boys nodded.

**“"Library books are not to be taken outside the school," said Snape. "Give it to me. Five points from Gryffindor."”**

“WHAT?” the three boys roared.

“That’s not a rule!” Lily said angrily.

“He made that up!” Sirius yelled, pointing at the book.

“That’s not fair!” James said irritably, “He just lost five points for _nothing_!”

“So it’d be okay with you if he actually did something?” Remus asked, and James scoffed.

“Obviously,” he said, “I’m expecting him to,” he added, grinning cheekily at Lily, who shook her head fondly as the three Marauders sniggered.

**“"He's just made that rule up," Harry muttered angrily as Snape limped away.”**

“He did,” Lily said, nodding.

“At least he’s limping,” Sirius muttered darkly, “We know he’s in pain.”

**“"Wonder what's wrong with his leg."”**

“Who cares?” James asked, and Sirius sniggered.

**“"Dunno, but I hope it's really hurting him," said Ron bitterly.”**

The three boys burst out laughing. Lily clucked her tongue disapprovingly, grinning.

“He’s a cheeky little boy,” she said, shaking her head fondly.

“He’s bloody brilliant,” James agreed, nodding his head.

**“The Gryffindor common room was very noisy that evening.”**

“What else is new?” Sirius asked, and the others laughed.

“I don’t think it’s ever been quiet,” James mused, cocking his head to the side

“That would be _so_ scary,” Sirius shuddered, and James grinned.

“Wonder what it’d take for the Common Room to fall silent,” he said, and Remus smirked

“First day of term, you snog Lily,” he said, and they all burst out laughing.

“That would bring about a silence,” Lily agreed, giggling.

“Alright then,” James said, grinning.

“What?” Lily asked, and he winked at her.

“I’ll do it,” he said, and Sirius and Remus grinned mischievously.

**“Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat together next to a window.”**

“I hate it next to the window,” James muttered, and the other two boys sniggered.

“We know Prongs,” Sirius said

“Considering you whine every time we’re forced to sit there,” Remus said, and James scowled as the other three laughed.

“Honestly James,” Lily said, shaking her head, and he scowled

“I like sitting here!”

“You should be able to adapt well to change,” Lily said, and he snorted.

“I don’t need change,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two boys snickered.

**“Hermione was checking Harry and Ron's Charms homework for them.”**

“Ah, girls and their uses,” Sirius said, winking at the scowling Lily, as Remus and James chuckled.

**“She would never let them copy ("How will you learn?"), but by asking her to read it through, they got the right answers anyway.”**

“She should just let them copy,” James said, shaking his head

“But she’s right! They’ll never learn!” Lily squeaked, and James shrugged

“Does that really matter?”

“Of course it does!” Lily said hotly, “If they blindly copy all the time they’ll have no idea what’s going on! And then they’ll fail their O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T.S, and never get a good job, and then they can’t ever-”

“Merlin woman!” Sirius yelled, cutting her off, “So copying a homework assignment in First Year can ultimately lead to your doom?” he gasped, and Lily’s mouth twitched as Remus and James roared with laughter.

“Shut up,” she said, and Sirius winked at her.

“If you tell me your middle name!”

“We’re back on this?” she asked exasperatedly, grinning

“YES! TELL ME!”

“No,” she said simply, and he pouted as Remus and James snickered.

**“Harry felt restless. He wanted _Quidditch Through the Ages_ back, to take his mind off his nerves about tomorrow.”**

“So he relies on Lily’s genes to calm nerves,” Remus said, and Lily’s jaw dropped as Sirius and James howled with laughter.

“Remus!”

“I was just musing,” he said defensively, grinning cheekily.

“Sure you were.”

“I was!” he laughed, as Lily crossed her arms with a huff, and the other two continued to laugh at her expense.

**“Why should he be afraid of Snape?”**

“That’s the spirit!” Sirius said

“You shouldn’t,” James agreed.

“Unless his hair accidentally touches you,” Sirius said and James gasped dramatically

“Oh no! You’d catch the slime!”

“MERLIN!”

“You two are ridiculous,” Lily said bluntly, as the two burst into fits of immature giggles. She turned to Remus to exchange a look with him, only to see him covering up fits of his own laughter, “Useless,” she muttered under her breath, and turned back to the book.

**“Getting up, he told Ron and Hermione he was going to ask Snape if he could have it.**

**"Better you than me," they said together”**

“Such good friends,” Lily laughed, as the three boys roared with laughter.

“I think it’s sad that they’re afraid of Snape,” Remus said, and the other two boys nodded somberly.

“Gryffindors should not fear slimy sleezeballs,” Sirius agreed, and Lily rolled her eyes as they once again succumbed to fits of not-so-manly laughter.

**“but Harry had an idea that Snape wouldn't refuse if there were other teachers listening.”**

“That’s very good logic,” Sirius agreed, and Lily rolled her eyes

“What would _you_ know about logic?” she asked, and Sirius gasped, clutching his chest, as James and Remus sniggered.

“Lily C. Evans!”

“What does the C stand for?” she challenged, and winked as his jaw fell and James and Remus laughed like madmen

“That’s cruel!”

“No, that’s not what it stands for,” she said, and Sirius threw her a sarcastic look as his two friends continued to laugh and she grinned cheekily.

**“He made his way down to the staffroom and knocked. There was no answer.”**

“Odd,” Lily said, frowning.

“Why is that odd?” Sirius asked

”There’s always an answer!”

“How often do you go to the staff room?” Remus asked.

“Pretty often,” James said, “To ask them to invent a grade above an ‘O’ so she can achieve it,” he said, and Lily flushed madly as the boys howled with laughter

“That’s uncalled for!”

“No it’s not,” James said, smiling at her sweetly. 

**“He knocked again. Nothing.”**

“Don’t open the door!” Sirius squeaked, and they all turned to look at him, bewildered.

“Why?” James asked, after a moment’s silence

“It just sounds like a really scary thing,” he said, and the other three snorted.

**“Perhaps Snape had left the book in there.”**

“Doubtful,” James said, shaking his head.

“He probably carries it around with him to show off incase he walks by Harry,” Sirius said knowingly, and the other three laughed.

“That does sound like him,” Lily agreed, and Sirius’ eyebrows shot up

“He’s _really_ that pathetic?” he gasped, and Lily smirked as the three boys burst out laughing.

**“It was worth a try.”**

“That’s the spirit!” Sirius cheered, and Lily turned to glare at him.

“Will you _please_?”

“If you tell me your middle name I will,” he said, sing-songing like a child.

“Then never mind,” she said coolly, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus snickered.

**“He pushed the door ajar and peered inside -- and a horrible scene met his eyes.”**

“I _told_ you it would be scary!” Sirius yelled, turning to James, and they all laughed.

**“Snape and Filch were inside, alone.”**

“OH MERLIN!” Sirius yelled, covering his eyes.

“What?” Lily squeaked

“They’re in there,” he yelled, “ _alone_ ,” he emphasized, giving her a meaningful look. Lily’s face immediately changed to one of disgust as James and Remus made retching noises.

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK!” she screeched, shaking her head quickly as if to rid her mind of the thought.

“Yes?” he asked slyly, still looking disgusted.

“That’s _not_ what’s going on in there!”

“THEN WHY ELSE WOULD IT BE SO GROSS?” he challenged, and Lily shuddered.

“My poor baby did _not_ see that,” she said, and Sirius snorted

“If you say so,” he said.

“JAMES!” she screeched, and he turned towards her.

“Yes?”

“PLEASE control your idiot,” she said, and James chuckled as Sirius’ jaw fell and Remus sniggered madly.

**“Snape was holding his robes above his knees.”**

“YUCK! YUCK! YUCK!” Sirius exclaimed, clutching his hair.

“That is disgusting,” James shuddered, “Snapes legs.”

“JAMES!” Remus screeched, shaking his head, squinting, “Do _not_ put those images in my head!”

“Sorry! I’m ever so sorry! Nobody deserves those images,” James said sincerely, and shuddered.

“That is so gross,” Sirius said, shuddering, “I _told_ you something gross was going on in there,” he said to Lily, whose face was contorted in revulsion.

“WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN THERE?” she shrieked, and the boys shrugged, smirking slightly at Lily’s repulsed expression.

**“One of his legs was bloody and mangled. Filch was handing Snape bandages.”**

“Oh,” Sirius said guiltily, “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I _told_ you,” Lily muttered irritably, and Sirius winked at her as James and Remus snickered.

“It’s still disgusting,” Sirius mused, “Snapes leg is exposed, for one,” he said, and the boys roared with laughter as Lily clucked her tongue disapprovingly, smiling.

“And secondly, one of them is bloody and mangled,” she said, and shuddered.

“I think the exposure of Snape’s legs is worse,” James said after a moments thought.

“No!” Sirius squeaked, and James smirked.

“Sirius is squeamish around blood,” Remus stage-whispered to Lily, who giggled as Sirius scowled and James grinned magnificently

“He _did_ say he had a weak stomach,” Lily said, and Sirius nodded, unsure of whether Lily was helping his case or not. James, guessing Sirius’ confusion, chuckled and ruffled his best mates hair.

**“"Blasted thing," Snape was saying. "How are you supposed to keep your eyes on all three heads at once?"”**

“What’s he doing next to the three headed dog?” Sirius asked, and then looked warily at Lily, remembering her sadness when finding out Snape was responsible for the troll and was attempting to steal the stone.

“You’re probably right,” Lily sighed, turning the page, and Sirius grimaced.

**“Harry tried to shut the door quietly, but - "POTTER!"”**

“Damn it,” James muttered, as the others grimaced.

“He’s going to _shred_ him,” Remus said sadly.

“Nice knowing you,” Sirius said sadly, waving, and Lily burst out laughing.

“You’re laughing?” Remus asked incredulously, and Lily nodded, giggling.

“He’ll be fine,” she said, waving it off, “there’s still a few chapters left,” she said, and the boys grinned.

“Ah logical Lily,” Sirius said fondly and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two boys chuckled.

**“Snape's face was twisted with fury as he dropped his robes quickly to hide his leg. Harry gulped.”**

“Thank Merlin his leg is hidden,” Sirius mumbled, and the other three burst out laughing.

**“"I just wondered if I could have my book back."**

**"GET OUT! OUT!"”**

“Nice try,” James chuckled as the other three laughed.

“He’s so funny!” Sirius wheezed, “I mean, he can _see_ that Snape’s about to blow his top and he _still_ asks,” he laughed.

“And Snape!” James wheezed, “‘Get out! Out!’” he said, imitating Snape’s voice, bringing about another round of giggles.

**“Harry left, before Snape could take any more points from Gryffindor.”**

The boys burst out laughing as Lily shook her head fondly, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

“Smart, this one,” Remus chuckled, nodding towards the book.

“He gets it from me,” both James and Lily said at the same time, and then looked at each other amusedly as Sirius and Remus burst out laughing.

**“He sprinted back upstairs.**

**"Did you get it?" Ron asked as Harry joined them. "What's the matter?" In a low whisper, Harry told them what he'd seen.”**

“Were they as scarred at the mention of Snape’s leg?” Sirius asked in a sombre tone, and Lily snorted as James and Remus laughed.

“I doubt he discussed that,” she said, and Sirius shrugged

“You never know,” he said mysteriously, in an annoyingly wise tone, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus chuckled.

**“"You know what this means." he finished breathlessly. "He tried to get past that three-headed dog at Halloween! That's where he was going when we saw him -- he's after whatever it's guarding! And I’d bet my broomstick”**

The boys gasped.

“That’s a bit severe,” Sirius said, eyes wide.

“That _is_ ,” James said, shaking his head, “So stupid of him.”

“What if he’s wrong?”

“Which I doubt he is, but still!”

“Yes, exactly!”

“It’s a _Nimbus Two Thousand!_ ”

“My thoughts precisely!”

“I hate to break up your little broom-worshipping moment, but we have a story to read,” Lily said, and the boys grinned sheepishly as Remus sniggered.

**“he let that troll in, to make a diversion!" Hermione's eyes were wide.”**

“Oh here comes the ‘but he’s a teacher!’ exclamation,” Sirius said, leaning back, and both James and Remus snickered as Lily’s jaw dropped.

“Why are you being such an arse?” she asked, and Sirius gaped as James and Remus snickered ever harder.

“I’m not being an arse!” he said defensively and Lily smirked.

“Of course you’re not,” she said condescendingly, and Sirius scowled at her as James and Remus continued to snicker.

“Oh _shut it_ you two,” Sirius muttered, whacking James no the back of the head, only causing the two boys to burst out laughing and Lily to giggle.

**“"No-he wouldn't, she said. "I know he's not very nice, but he wouldn't try and steal something Dumbledore was keeping safe."”**

“Ah, but sweetheart, he is,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed sadly as James and Remus rolled their eyes at their friend.

“I can’t believe it,” Lily said, shaking her head.

“BELIEVE IT BABY!” Sirius yelled jauntily, and Lily jumped as James and Remus turned to throw Sirius warning looks for his lack of tact. To all of their surprise, Lily started to giggle.

“You’re an idiot,” she said affectionately, and Sirius beamed at his two friends, who looked dumbstruck.

**“"Honestly, Hermione, you think all teachers are saints or something," snapped Ron.”**

“I wonder if we know anyone like that,” Sirius said, looking pointedly at Lily.

“I don’t think we do,” she said, playing along, and Sirius rolled his eyes fondly as his two friends snickered and Lily grinned widely at him.

“I was talking about _you_ , Ginger-Flower,” Sirius said, and Lily beamed at him.

“I know,” she said simply, “I refused to acknowledge it,” she said, and both James and Remus burst out laughing as Sirius snorted, shaking his head.

**“"I'm with Harry. I wouldn't put anything past Snape.”**

“That’s a good philosophy,” James agreed, and Lily rolled her eyes, fighting a smile, as Remus and Sirius sniggered.

**“But what's he after? What's that dog guarding?"”**

“The sorcerers stone,” James said, and Sirius rolled his eyes at Lily, who giggled, before gasping dramatically

“How did you know?” Sirius asked dramatically, and James shrugged, smirking.

“My bursting brains are full of knowledge,” he said, and Lily snorted as Sirius and Remus chuckled.

“ _Bursting_ brains?” she asked, “Bursting from _what_?”

“What do you think, dear?” he asked, and winked at her as her nose scrunched in disgust, and Remus and Sirius’ chuckles morphed into snickers.

“I think there’s just so much air in your head that it’s bursting,” she said, “air pressure, and all,” she said, grinning cheekily at James as his eyes narrowed playfully and Sirius and Remus burst out laughing

“Air pressure,” Remus chuckled, wiping his eyes, as Sirius gasped for breath.

“I’ll get you for that,” James said, smirking, and Lily paled at the glint of mischief in his eyes, “It’s Claire,” he said, not breaking eye contact with her, and she shrieked as Remus’ and Sirius’ eyes widened.

“ _Claire_?” Sirius asked, squealing with glee. Lily glared at James, who only winked at her, “Your middle name is _Claire_?” he asked, jumping up and down. James grinned as Lily let out an irritable huff and turned the page of the book rather violently

“Lily Claire Evans,” Remus said, and Sirius’ eyes widened

“LILY CLAIRE EVANS!” he yelled, and Lily turned her furious gaze on James, who only winked once again, leaning backwards, resting his feet up on the coffee table, and placing his arms behind his head, “LILY CLAIRE! CLAIRE! L.C.E!” he sung happily, and Lily groaned as James and Remus snickered, “Prongs,” Sirius said, turning to James, “I love you.”

“Okay,” James chuckled, running his hand through his hair.

**“Harry went to bed with his head buzzing with the same question. Neville was snoring loudly, but Harry couldn't sleep.”**

“I hate snorers,” Lily muttered, and Sirius beamed as James flushed.

“Well that’s a right shame, considering your husband-to-be snores like a bloody dragon,” he said, and Lily glowered at James, still irritated for him revealing her middle name

“You _do_?” she hissed, and James beamed at her.

“You’ll get use to it,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus snickered.

“Come on Claire,” Sirius said, and Lily scowled to herself as James and Remus sniggered, “Don’t be so uptight!”

“Don’t be such an arse, Orion,” she said, and both James and Remus burst out laughing as Sirius scowled, “That’s enough of you, John and Daniel,” she said, looking at James and Remus respectively, both of whom stopped laughing immediately.

“Oh look at us, middle naming each other,” Sirius sniffed, wiping away an imaginary tear, “We’re _bonding_!”

“Shut up,” Lily said, shaking her head, smiling slightly, as the three boys snickered.

**“He tried to empty his mind -he needed to sleep, he had to, he had his first Quidditch match in a few hours”**

“OH, RIGHT!” James bellowed, “GO TO SLEEP!”

“You’re one to talk,” Sirius muttered, and James chose to ignore him as Lily quirked an eyebrow at Sirius, “he doesn’t sleep until _late_ going over Quidditch strategies and wakes up especially early for pre-match workout,” he said, shuddering at the idea of having to workout so early in the morning.

“That’s disgusting,” Lily said bluntly, and James smirked as the other three laughed.

**“-- but the expression on Snape's face when Harry had seen his leg wasn't easy to forget.”**

“Well, neither was the leg,” James reasoned, and Sirius and Remus howled with laughter.

“I hope he isn’t stuck with that,” Sirius said, and James grimaced

“Poor child.”

“Sing,” Lily said, and the boys looked at her as if she’d gone insane

“What was that, Claire?” Sirius asked, and Lily let out a sigh as James and Remus chuckled.

“You have to sing, it’s a transition,” she said, and Sirius beamed.

“On it Lily Claire,” he sung chirpily, and Lily glared at James, who winked.

**“oOo”**

Lily snorted as Sirius sung the transition as a ridiculously long and wide ranged arpeggio. James’ and Remus’ eyebrows were high on their foreheads

“I had _no_ idea your voice could go so high,” Remus said, shaking his head, looking dumbstruck.

“Mind. Blown,” James agreed, nodding, and Lily giggled as Sirius grinned proudly and the other two boys looked at him incredulously.

**“The next morning dawned very bright and cold.”**

“A perfect day for Quidditch,” James said, smiling, and Sirius snorted.

“He says that before _every_ game,” Sirius said to Lily, who laughed.

“Well then it cant always be true,” she said, and James scowled.

“Every day is the perfect day for Quidditch,” he said defensively, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus chuckled.

“Okay James,” she conceded, and James beamed happily. She looked over at Remus and Sirius, who were looking at her incredulously, and rolled her eyes, causing them to snicker.

**“The Great Hall was full of the delicious smell of fried sausages”**

Sirius groaned deep in his throat.

**“and the cheerful chatter of everyone looking forward to a good Quidditch match.”**

“And a good Quidditch match they’ll get,” Sirius said happily, and then turned to Lily with an angelic expression on his face.

“What?” she sighed, and he beamed.

“Lily Claire,” he started, “Would you concur to a visit to the kitchens to get some fried sausages?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“No, I do not concur,” she said.

“Why?” he whined, bouncing up and down on the sofa.

“Because I’m reading,” she said, “And you addressed me as Lily Claire,” she added, and Sirius smirked devilishly as James and Remus sniggered.

“It is your name,” Sirius said innocently, and Lily glared at him.

“I will rip that damn frog to shreds,” she muttered, and was awarded with all the blood draining from Sirius’ face.

“NOT SPOT!” he cried.

“I thought it was Squishy,” Remus deadpanned, turning to look at Sirius, who smiled.

“I was hoping one of you would point that out,” he said, and the other three rolled their eyes, “Well, you see, Squishy is his full name,” he said, “and Spot is his pet name.”

“I wasn’t aware plush frogs had such complicated names,” Lily teased, and Sirius scowled as James and Remus laughed.

“He’s not just a plush frog Claire,” he said condescendingly, “he is _the_ plush frog.”

“Oh, of course, sorry, my bad,” she deadpanned, and Sirius smirked as James and Remus laughed. 

**“"You've got to eat some breakfast."”**

“Yes, you have to,” Sirius said, nodding, and the other three snorted.

**“"I don't want anything."”**

“Harry!” Lily chastised.

“How do you know its Harry?” James asked, bewildered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Simple logic,” she said, and then bit her lip, “Oh that’s right, you cant do that,” she said, grinning, and James narrowed his eyes playfully as Lily grinned and James and Sirius sniggered.

“How do you know?” James asked, and Lily beamed.

“Well, he’s the one playing Quidditch,” she said, and James flushed in embarrassment.

“I feel stupid,” he said, and Lily giggled.

“Aw Prongs,” Sirius said sympathetically, clapping him on the shoulder, “You _are_ stupid,” he said, and James punched him in the shoulder as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“"Just a bit of toast," wheedled Hermione.**

**"I'm not hungry." Harry felt terrible. In an hour's time he'd be walking onto the field.”**

“Ah nerves,” Sirius said, smiling fondly.

“He should eat,” James said, shaking his head.

“That’s hypocritical of you,” Remus said, and James flushed as Sirius beamed and Lily quirked an eyebrow.

“But that’s _different_ ,” James said exasperatedly, as if he’d been over this a lot, “I’m simply _not hungry_ on Quidditch mornings!” he said, and Lily smirked.

“You mean you’re nervous,” she said, and James scowled at her.

“I don’t get nervous before Quidditch matches,” he said so forcefully that Lily believed him.

“Okay,” she said simply, and James immediately looked guilty.

**“"Harry, you need your strength," said Seamus Finnigan. "Seekers are always the ones who get clobbered by the other team."”**

“I bet he feels tons better,” Remus said sarcastically, and the other three laughed.

**“"Thanks, Seamus," said Harry, watching Seamus pile ketchup on his sausages.”**

Sirius gagged, “KETCHUP?” he yelled.

“Yes, ketchup,” James said, watching his friend amusedly.

“WHY?” Sirius bellowed, his face contorted with disgust, “KETCHUP! And _sausages_?” he asked, and Lily laughed.

“You know, most people do eat sausages with ketchup,” she said, and Sirius looked at her slowly.

“That’s _wrong_ ,” he said, and Lily snorted as James and Remus snickered. 

**“By eleven o'clock the whole school seemed to be out in the stands around the Quidditch pitch. Many students had binoculars.”**

“All the better to see them with,” Sirius said, and Lily burst into a fit of giggles, causing the three boys to look bewildered.

“What?” James asked, a slow smile spreading across his face as Lily giggled uncontrollably.

“He just quoted ‘Little Red Riding Hood’!” she said, and looked around at the boys, who looked clueless.

“Who?” Remus asked, and Lily’s jaw dropped

“You don’t know Little Red Riding Hood?” she asked, and the boys shook their heads, looking at her as if she’d gone mental.

“Is it a muggle thing?” James asked, and Lily nodded

“Then why are you surprised we don’t know it?” Sirius teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Remus laughed.

“I was in _shock_ you twat,” she said, and Sirius beamed.

“Now Claire, that is no way to talk to somebody,” he said, and Lily scowled at him as James and Remus’ shoulder shook with laughter.

“Well you don’t count as anybody,” she said, and Sirius pouted magnificently.

**“The seats might be raised high in the air, but it was still difficult to see what was going on sometimes.”**

“It is,” Lily said, nodding her head, and James beamed.

“Poor you,” he said sadly, “You don’t get to see me!”

“Oh yes, I’m usually crushed,” she deadpanned, and James winked as Remus and Sirius guffawed.

**“Ron and Hermione joined Neville, Seamus, and Dean the West Ham fan up in the top row.”**

“West Ham?” Sirius asked, brow furled in confusion, his head cocked to the side, “Is that a kind of ham?”

“I don’t think so,” James said, frowning as well. Lily looked amused.

“Okay, good, because I thought I knew all the types of ham,” Sirius said, looking relieved. Lily burst out laughing, and the boys turned to look at her.

“It’s a _football team_ , you daft imbeciles,” she laughed, and the two boys flushed as Remus snickered.

“Why are _you_ laughing?” Sirius asked Remus, who beamed.

“I figured it was a football team,” he said, and the two boys gaped as Lily laughed harder.

“WHAT? HOW?”

“Simple logic,” Remus said, and Lily beamed.

“Well we know James isn’t capable of that,” she said and Remus nodded seriously, eyes twinkling as his friends glared at him.

“And evidently Sirius cant do it either,” Remus said, and Lily nodded, beaming as the boys turned to glare at her

**“As a surprise for Harry, they had painted a large banner on one of the sheets Scabbers had ruined. It said ‘Potter for President’, and Dean, who was good at drawing, had done a large Gryffindor lion underneath. Then Hermione had performed a tricky little charm so that the paint flashed different colors.”**

“That’s so sweet!” Lily squealed, grinning madly.

“That is really sweet,” James agreed, nodding his head, smiling.

“Why don’t you ever make _me_ a banner?” Sirius asked, turning to Remus, who snorted as Lily and James laughed.

“He has a point there, we never get signs,” James said, and looked pointedly at Lily.

“What?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“As girlfriend, you’re obligated to make a banner,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Well then I’m no longer girlfriend,” she said, and James pouted as she beamed cheekily and his two friends sniggered.

**“Meanwhile, in the locker room, Harry and the rest of the team were changing into their scarlet Quidditch robes (Slytherin would be playing in green).”**

“Oh really?” Sirius gasped sarcastically.

“I wouldn’t ever have guessed,” James said, shaking his head, imitating Sirius’ tone.

“Yes, thank you for that Captain Obvious,” Sirius said in a sincere tone, nodding to the book. Lily shook her head fondly as the two of them burst out laughing and Remus chuckled, shaking his head similarly.

**“Wood cleared his throat for silence.”**

“Oh here comes the Captain speech,” Sirius said, yawning, and James scowled as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“"Okay, men," he said.**

**"And women," said Chaser Angelina Johnson.**

**"And women," Wood agreed. "This is it."**

**"The big one," said Fred Weasley.**

**"The one we've all been waiting for," said George.**

**"We know Oliver's speech by heart," Fred told Harry, "we were on the team last year."”**

They all burst out laughing.

“That’s classic,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head. James looked appalled.

“He _recycles his speeches_?” he asked, looking scandalized, “That’s _pathetic_.”

“I agree mate,” Sirius nodded, clapping James on the shoulder, “at least you have the courtesy to bore us with different speeches,” he said, and James rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“"Shut up, you two," said Wood.”**

“FINALLY someone’s told them to shut up,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

“It is about time,” Sirius nodded, grinning.

**“"This is the best team Gryffindor's had in years.”**

“Thank you,” James said, beaming, and the others laughed.

“Why are you taking credit?” Remus asked, amused.

“That’s my son,” he said, pointing at the book, and the other two boys shook their heads fondly as Lily rolled her eyes, “So it’s thanks to me that they have a good team.”

“And Lily,” Remus said, smirking as Lily glared at James.

“Er, right,” James said, grinning sheepishly.

**“We're going to win. I know it." He glared at them all as if to say, ‘Or else.’”**

James and Sirius sniggered.

“I love doing that,” James said happily, and Sirius snorted.

“We know,” Sirius said, and James beamed. Sirius rolled his eyes at Lily, who giggled.

**“"Right. It's time. Good luck, all of you."”**

“ _He_ says good luck,” Sirius said to James, who snorted.

“We don’t need luck,” he said, and Sirius rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed at his exasperated expression and James’ smirking face.

“You don’t say good luck to your team?” Lily asked incredulously, and James shook his head as Sirius threw James a smug look.

“If I say good luck they’ll think they’re not good enough,” he said, and Sirius snorted, causing Lily and Remus to laugh and James to look at him amusedly.

“But it’s comforting,” Sirius said, “it’d be nice to hear, you know,” he sniffed, and James rolled his eyes before turning to look at Sirius.

“Padfoot,” he said seriously, and Sirius turned to look at him, “I hereby wish you good luck in advance for every single Quidditch Match we ever play,” he said, and Sirius beamed at him.

“ _Thank_ you,” he said happily, and James shook his head fondly as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Harry followed Fred and George out of the locker room and, hoping his knees weren't going to give way, walked onto the field to loud cheers.”**

“It’d be so funny if someone’s knees did give way,” Sirius snickered, and James joined in with his sniggers as Lily regarded them sternly and Remus smirked.

“He’s a _First Year_ ,” she hissed, and Sirius grinned.

“So protective Lily Claire,” he said, shaking his head, and Lily glared at him, “I believe I said _someone_ not _Harry_ ,” he said, and Lily flushed as James and Remus sniggered.

**“Madam Hooch was refereeing.”**

“The cat lady?” Sirius asked, and Lily snorted as Remus and James, chuckling, nodded their heads.

**“She stood in the middle of the field waiting for the two teams, her broom in her hand.**

**"Now, I want a nice fair game, all of you," she said, once they were all gathered around her.”**

“Like that’s going to happen,” Sirius snorted.

“It should,” Lily said sternly, and Sirius chuckled.

“Easy there Ginger Claire Flower,” he said, and Lily scowled as James and Remus burst out laughing, “I meant since they’re playing Slytherins,”

“Not to mention the fact that he’s the Famous Harry Potter,” Remus said, and James smiled happily.

“Stupid Slytherins,” Lily muttered, and the boys guffawed as she turned the page violently.

**“Harry noticed that she seemed to be speaking particularly to the Slytherin Captain, Marcus Flint, a sixth year.”**

Sirius threw Lily a smug look, to which she stuck her tongue out.

**“Harry thought Flint looked as if he had some troll blood in him.”**

They all burst out laughing.

“You never know, mate,” Sirius said, grinning, “They are Slytherins after all.”

“Don’t be so rude,” Lily chastised, grinning.

“Sorry mummy Claire,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at James, who held his hands up, palms out, as if surrendering.

**“Out of the corner of his eye he saw the fluttering banner high above, flashing ‘Potter for President’ over the crowd. His heart skipped. He felt braver.”**

“So cute!” Lily said happily, beaming.

“These females, I tell you, hormones _everywhere_ ,” Sirius said to James, who burst out laughing, as did Remus, as Lily’s jaw dropped.

“SIRIUS ORION!” she screeched, and Sirius scowled.

“Must you refer to me as Orion?” he asked in a disgusted tone, and Lily smirked.

“Sorry Orion,” she sighed, and Sirius glared at her as James and Remus roared with laughter.

**“"Mount your brooms, please." Harry clambered onto his Nimbus Two Thousand.”**

“You _clambered_?” James asked, looking aghast, “Get onto your broom _gracefully_ ,” he chastised, “Bloody nutter,” he added, shaking his head.

“Whoa there,” Sirius said, holding his hands out as if to calm James, “deep breaths Prongs. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale,” he said, moving his hands towards his mouth and away in correspondence to the action he was instructing. James turned to glare at Sirius, who immediately dropped his hands, causing Lily and Remus to snicker and James to smirk menacingly.

**“Madam Hooch gave a loud blast on her silver whistle.”**

Sirius screamed a high-pitched noise and the other three jumped.

“What the _bloody hell_ was that?” James bellowed, clutching his chest.

“I was being the whistle,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You’re not silver,” she said, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“Alas, that is true,” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up, “As I am gold,” he finished, and her eyebrows fell back down, her face arranging itself into a sardonic expression, as James and Remus snickered.

“Of course you are,” she deadpanned.

“I know why you want to be the whistle,” James smirked, and Sirius wagged his brows at him, before the two erupted in immature sniggers.

“What am I missing?” Lily asked Remus, who shook his head, managing to look disgusted and amused at the same time.

“She _blew_ the whistle,” Remus sighed, and Lily’s face contorted with disgust, causing James and Sirius to snigger harder.

“You disgust me,” she said bluntly, and Sirius pouted magnificently as James made work of catching his breath.

**“Fifteen brooms rose up, high, high into the air. They were off.”**

“Were they really?” Sirius gasped sarcastically, and the other three laughed.

**“"And the Quaffle is taken immediately by Angelina Johnson of Gryffindor”**

“YEAH GRYFFINDOR!” Sirius and James cheered, and Lily sighed.

“This is going to keep happening, isn’t it?” she asked Remus, who smirked and nodded solemnly.

“I’m afraid so.”

“Nice knowing you,” she said, and Remus chuckled.

**“- what an excellent Chaser that girl is, and rather attractive, too -"**

**"JORDAN!"”**

The three boys burst out laughing and Lily giggled.

“I love it when commentators do this,” Sirius said happily, and James beamed.

“I know!” he said, “It makes everything so much more entertaining.”

“This is just going to alleviate the amount of comments to be made,” Remus said to Lily, who groaned, causing James and Sirius to smirk.

**“"Sorry, Professor." The Weasley twins' friend, Lee Jordan, was doing the commentary for the match, closely watched by Professor McGonagall.”**

“Explains why he’s funny,” Sirius said, and James grinned.

“Yeah, he’s the Weasley twins’ friend.”

“Bless him,” Sirius sniffed, wiping an imaginary tear, “He’s a prankster!”

“Yes, that’s bloody fantastic,” Lily said bitterly, and the three boys grinned.

**“"And she's really belting along up there, a neat pass to Alicia Spinnet, a good find of Oliver Wood's,”**

“I hate when people assume that’s why people got on the team,” Sirius said bitterly, and Lily shot him a sympathetic look as James ruffled his hair nervously

“Ignore them Sirius,” she said, “You’re a fantastic beater,” she said, and Sirius beamed at her widely.

“REALY?” he cried, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled.

“No, I take it back,” she said, and he winked.

“Sorry love, you can’t do that,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“What do I get myself into?” she asked Remus, who smirked.

**“last year only a reserve - back to Johnson and - no, the Slytherins have taken the Quaffle,”**

“BOO!” Sirius and James yelled. Lily threw Remus a pleading glance, to which he only grinned in response to and shrugged his shoulders, as if to say ‘what to do?’.

**“Slytherin Captain Marcus Flint gains the Quaffle and off he goes”**

“FALL OFF YOUR BROOM!”

“CRASH INTO A GOALPOST!”

“Shut up!” Lily yelled in a whisper, and Remus sniggered. James and Sirius, however, were too caught up in cursing Flint that they didn’t hear her.

**“- Flint flying like an eagle up there - he's going to sc- no, stopped by an excellent move by Gryffindor Keeper Wood and the Gryffindors take the Quaffle”**

“YEAH!”

“ALL RIGHT WOOD!”

“THAT’S A LAD!”

“Remus,” Lily whined, and he chuckled. Sirius and James were jumping up and down, hugging each other happily, yelling, “They do realize that this is not real, right?” she whispered, and Remus snorted, shrugging.

“Quidditch is Quidditch Lily,” he said wisely, and Lily sighed, shaking her head sadly.

“I need people to return to Hogwarts,” she said, and Remus chuckled.

**“- that's Chaser Katie Bell of Gryffindor there, nice dive around Flint, off up the field and - OUCH - that must have hurt, hit in the back of the head by a Bludger”**

They all winced.

“That had to hurt,” Sirius groaned, rubbing the back of his head absent-mindedly.

“And a girl at that, too,” James said, wincing, and Lily turned to him angrily

“Are you suggesting that girls are less capable of handling pain than boys?” she asked, and James shook his head quickly, causing his friends to snicker.

“I was just _saying_ ,” he squeaked, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him before looking away.

**“- Quaffle taken by the Slytherins”**

Sirius and James hissed angrily. Lily threw a cushion at them, which James plucked out of midair and placed delicately next to him on the sofa, winking at the scowling Lily.

**“- that's Adrian Pucey speeding off toward the goal posts, but he's blocked by a second Bludger - sent his way by Fred or George Weasley, can't tell which”**

They all laughed.

“This way nobody knows who to plot their revenge on,” Sirius said wisely, and Lily rolled her eyes

“They don’t take revenge on the Beaters…do they?” she asked, and Sirius’ expression darkened comically

“They do,” he said, nodding

“What did they do to you?” she asked curiously.

“A fair amount of things,” he said, and then smirked, “But they stopped after an, ah, an incident,” he said, eyes twinkling mischievously. She looked at James and Remus to see their eyes sparkling madly as well and decided she didn’t want to know.

“ **\- nice play by the Gryffindor Beater, anyway, and Johnson back in possession of the Quaffle, a clear field ahead and off she goes - she's really flying - dodges a speeding Bludger - the goal posts are ahead- come on, now, Angelina”**

“COME ON ANGELINA!” the two boys bellowed.

“She’s not _alive_ yet,” Lily said under her breath, and Remus burst out laughing.

“What?” James and Sirius asked simultaneously, and Remus shook his head and grinned at the grinning Lily.

**“- Keeper Bletchley dives - misses - GRYFFINDORS SCORE!"”**

“YES!” James and Sirius roared, hi-fiving each other and dancing around in their seats.

“They’re impossible,” Lily said, shaking her head, and Remus chuckled, “I am _not_ sitting next to you lot if we ever go to any sort of sporting event together,” she declared, and the three boys pouted.

“But what did _I_ do?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged.

“You’re all a package deal,” she said, and Remus snorted.

“I take offense to that,” he said, and Lily winked at him

“BUT LILY!” Sirius cried, “What will we do without you?”

“I don’t care, as long as I’m not there,” she said, and Sirius smirked.

“That rhymed you know,” James pointed out, and Lily looked at him incredulously as Remus and Sirius burst out laughing.

“Silly,” she said, shaking her head, and James pouted.

“I was simply pointing out that your sentence rhymed!”

“Okay James,” she laughed, and he beamed happily.

“Let’s get back to the game?” Sirius suggested, and Lily rolled her eyes

“It’s not _real_ ,” she said, and the boys looked at her for a moment, before looking at each other and shaking their heads condescendingly

“She doesn’t understand,” Sirius said sympathetically, and James sighed, regarding Lily in a pitying manner.

“And _this_ is why I don’t interfere,” Remus said to Lily, who shook her head fondly.

**“Gryffindor cheers filled the cold air, with howls and moans from the Slytherins.”**

“Nobody cares about you, Slytherins!” Sirius yelled, and Remus and James smirked as Lily shook her head irritably.

**“"Budge up there, move along."”**

“HAGRID!” Sirius yelled happily, spreading his arms wide.

“And the Quidditch has gotten to his head,” Remus sighed, and Lily groaned as James beamed.

**“"Hagrid!" Ron and Hermione squeezed together to give Hagrid enough space to join them.”**

“I _hate_ the Quidditch stands,” Lily shuddered, and Remus grimaced.

“Why?” James asked

“Because you’re always _pressed up_ against everyone else,” she shuddered, and James’ eyes narrowed slightly, much to Sirius’ and Remus’ amusement.

**“"Bin watchin' from me hut," said Hagrid, patting a large pair of binoculars around his neck, "But it isn't the same as bein' in the crowd. No sign of the Snitch yet, eh?"”**

“No, or else there’d be a lot more excitement,” Lily said, and Sirius gasped.

“Lily Claire Evans,” he said, “Don’t you _dare_ sass Hagrid in front of me,” he chastised, throwing her a threatening look, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James guffawed.

“My most sincerest apologies Orion,” she said, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at her as she grinned cheekily and James and Remus coughed to cover up their chuckles.

**“"Nope," said Ron. "Harry hasn't had much to do yet."”**

“I hate that about Seekers,” Sirius said, “They don’t do anything for the majority of the match.”

“It’s not like they’re snoozing or anything,” James said exasperatedly, “they’re searching for the Snitch!”

“Oh, sorry, my bad dear Captain,” Sirius said, saluting, and James’ mouth twitched with laughter as Lily and Remus chuckled.

**“"Kept outta trouble, though, that's somethin'," said Hagrid, raising his binoculars and peering skyward at the speck that was Harry.”**

“Touché,” Sirius said, and James shook his head fondly.

**“Way up above them, Harry was gliding over the game, squinting about for some sign of the Snitch. This was part of his and Wood's game plan.”**

“Because that’s oh-so original,” Lily snorted, and the boys laughed.

“Lily! That’s mean!” James said, and she shrugged.

“It’s the truth,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

“It is the truth,” Sirius concurred, and Lily smiled smugly in a self-satisfied manner.

**“"Keep out of the way until you catch sight of the Snitch," Wood had said. "We don't want you attacked before you have to be."”**

“This guy is just the epitome of comfort,” Remus said amusedly as James and Sirius laughed, and Lily shook her head, fighting a smile.

“He is,” Lily agreed, rolling her eyes, “I’m sure my First Year is just ever so calm.”

“‘before you have to be’,” James snickered, “Classic.”

“Sounds like something _you_ would say,” Sirius muttered, and James grinned as Remus laughed and Lily regarded him incredulously

“You wouldn’t,” she gasped, and James smirked.

“I would,” he nodded, and she shot Sirius a sympathetic look.

“If I were you, I’d quit,” she said, and James spluttered as his two friends burst out laughing.

“Too right you are, love,” Sirius said, and Lily grinned at James.

**“When Angelina had scored, Harry had done a couple of loop-the-loops to let off his feelings.”**

“Show off,” James said, grinning.

**“Now he was back to staring around for the Snitch.”**

“Yawn,” Sirius deadpanned, and they burst out laughing.

**“Once he caught sight of a flash of gold,”**

James and Sirius gasped.

**“but it was just a reflection from one of the Weasleys' wristwatches,”**

The boys exhaled grumpily, causing Lily and Remus to laugh.

**“and once a Bludger decided to come pelting his way,”**

“Oh no!” Lily squeaked, as the boys’ expressions turned worried.

**“more like a cannonball than anything, but Harry dodged it and Fred Weasley came chasing after it.”**

“He dodged it,” Lily breathed, letting out a relieved sigh.

“Pretty skilled, for a First Year,” James mused, and Lily glared at him.

“Thanks for the care,” she said, and he winked as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Lily Claire, James doesn’t care for his players when they’re on the Pitch,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at James, who shrugged in acceptance.

“I don’t,” he said.

“What if they get hurt?” she asked, and he turned to her.

“I’m not a _monster_ ,” he exclaimed exasperatedly, and Lily grinned as Sirius and Remus laughed, “I worry about them, of course, but I don’t excuse pathetic behavior on the Pitch,” he said, and Lily nodded, smiling, as Remus and Sirius continued to laugh. 

**“"All right there, Harry?" he had time to yell, as he beat the Bludger furiously toward Marcus Flint.”**

“GET THE SLYTHERIN BASTARD!” Sirius bellowed, and the others turned to him in alarm, “what?” he asked innocently, and Lily and Remus burst out laughing as James regarded Sirius with a mixture of amusement and pride.

**“"Slytherin in possession," Lee Jordan was saying, "Chaser Pucey ducks two Bludgers, two Weasleys,”**

Lily giggled, “two Bludgers, two Weasleys,” she giggled, and the boys guffawed.

“Lily?” Remus asked, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Sirius laughed.

**“and Chaser Bell, and speeds toward the - wait a moment - was that the Snitch?"”**

James and Sirius just about fell off the sofa as they gasped. Remus blinked rapidly, trying to decide between looking shocked because of the story or amused because of his friends lack of balance.

“Was it?” Sirius squawked, and Lily threw him a sardonic look, “right, keep reading,” he said cheekily, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling slightly, as James and Remus laughed.

**“A murmur ran through the crowd as Adrian Pucey dropped the Quaffle,”**

“If that was a strategy that was bloody brilliant,” Sirius said, and James snorted.

“It wasn’t a strategy,” he said, and Sirius shrugged.

“I said _if_.”

“And I’m telling you it’s not,” James said, and Sirius snorted as Remus and Lily laughed.

“Bet?” Sirius suggested, and James smirked.

“It’s on,” he said, shaking Sirius’ hand.

**“too busy looking over his shoulder at the flash of gold that had passed his left ear.”**

James smirked, and Sirius grumbled irritably, crossing his arms moodily and leaning back.

“I never win when it comes to Quidditch,” he muttered, and Lily and Remus grinned.

“Then why do you keep betting?” James challenged, and Sirius displayed his longest finger, causing James to chuckle. 

“He has a point,” Remus smirked, “It’s your fault for continuing to challenge him when we _know_ his Quidditch knowledge is unmatched,” he said, and Sirius scowled as Lily laughed.

“Lily Claire, love, please say you’re on my side,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“Remus is right,” she said, and Remus and James grinned smugly at Sirius, who pouted.

“Claire!”

“Orion!” Lily mimicked, and Sirius scowled, causing James and Remus to snigger.

“It’s over, Lily Claire Evans,” Sirius said, sounding wounded, and Lily clutched her chest dramatically, before winking at Sirius, who gave in and laughed.

**“Harry saw it.”**

“Then go after it!” James urged

“Thank you for that, Captain Obvious,” Sirius said, saluting James, who playfully punched Sirius in the shoulder.

**“In a great rush of excitement he dived downward after the streak of gold. Slytherin Seeker Terence Higgs had seen it, too.”**

“COME ON HARRY!” James and Sirius yelled, and Lily sighed.

“And here I thought they were done,” she said sadly, and Remus chuckled.

“Never assume with those two,” he advised, and Lily nodded, sighing, much to his amusement.

**“Neck and neck they hurtled toward the Snitch -all the Chasers seemed to have forgotten what they were supposed to be doing as they hung in midair to watch.”**

“That’s bad strategy,” James said disapprovingly, and Sirius looked at him incredulously

“ _That’s_ what you’re thinking about?” he asked, and James flushed

“No!” he said, “it just stood out!”

“I’m disgusted with you,” Sirius said, in a mock nasty tone, and James pouted, as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Harry was faster than Higgs”**

“Yeah Harry!” James cheered, and Sirius beamed.

“Look at him, all grown up,” Sirius sniffed, and James rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“- he could see the little round ball, wings fluttering, darting up ahead - he put on an extra spurt of speed - WHAM!”**

“OH NO!” Lily screamed, “A Bludger!”

“I hope he’s okay,” James said, looking pale.

“HE DOES CARE!” Sirius exclaimed, and James snorted as Lily and Remus laughed, Lily still looking worried.

**“A roar of rage echoed from the Gryffindors below - Marcus Flint had blocked Harry on purpose, and Harry's broom spun off course, Harry holding on for dear life.”**

“FOUL!” James and Sirius roared, standing up.

“YOU CANT DO THAT!” Sirius bellowed.

“FOUL!” James yelled again. Lily looked at Remus, who was grinning while watching his two ridiculous friends.

**“"Foul!" screamed the Gryffindors.”**

“Thank you,” James said, and Sirius sniggered, throwing his arm around James.

**“Madam Hooch spoke angrily to Flint and then ordered a free shot at the goal posts for Gryffindor.”**

“At least she knows what she’s doing,” Sirius muttered irritably, still peeved at the fact that Harry had been blocked unceremoniously by the Slytherin troll.

“Don’t all refs?” Lily asked, and then shook her head quickly as the boys looked at her bewilderedly, “NO that came out wrong,” she said, and James chuckled.

“Good, otherwise I’d have to check your sanity,” he said, and Lily mock glared at him as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“But in all the confusion, of course, the Golden Snitch had disappeared from sight again.”**

“Damn it,” James muttered, leaning forwards and holding his hair.

“This is bullshit,” Sirius growled, crossing his arms.

“Is it just me, or are they taking this _way_ too seriously?” Lily asked Remus, who chuckled.

**“Down in the stands, Dean Thomas was yelling, "Send him off, ref! Red card!"”**

“What?” James asked in a bored voice, and Lily giggled.

“Bloody muggles and their lingo,” Sirius said, winking at Lily, who rolled her eyes

“What’s a red card?” James asked Lily, who sighed and looked at the page.

“It’s explained here,” she said.

**“"What are you talking about, Dean?" said Ron.”**

Sirius sniggered, “I love this kid. If he didn’t have flaming red hair I’d say he was my own,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James laughed.

“The idea of you procreating makes me sick,” Lily said. She noticed the twinkle in Sirius’ eye and before he could say anything, she said, “Mind out of the gutter Black. I simple meant the idea of an offspring of yours sickened me,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus laughed.

“You’re learning well,” Remus said, and Lily laughed.

“I’m a fast learner,” she said, and the boys grinned. 

**“"Red card!" said Dean furiously. "In soccer you get shown the red card and you're out of the game!"”**

“Oh,” James said, and looked at Sirius.

“RED CARD!” the two boys bellowed, and Lily sighed sadly as Remus sniggered.

**“"But this isn't soccer, Dean," Ron reminded him.”**

“REALLY Ronald?” Sirius asked, and the others laughed.

“I pity any and all offspring of yours,” Lily said, and Sirius snorted.

“Why?”

“Because you’re so mean to them!” she said, and Sirius rolled his eyes, moving his hair out of his eyes majestically.

“Makes ‘em tough,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled, “I mean, your poor boy will be so soft,” he said, and Lily glared at him.

“I’ll show you soft,” she muttered, and Sirius barked a laugh as James and Remus snorted with laughter.

**“Hagrid, however, was on Dean's side.”**

“Then, of course, Dean’s right, right Sirius?” Lily asked Sirius innocently, and he narrowed his eyes at her as James and Remus laughed

“You’re a pain in my arse Lily Claire,” he said, and Lily smirked at him.

**“"They oughta change the rules. Flint coulda knocked Harry outta the air."”**

“Too right you are, Hagrid,” Sirius said, and flushed as Lily giggled madly, which caused James and Remus to roar with laughter.

**“Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.”**

“Commentators _always_ take sides,” Remus chuckled, “Doesn’t matter.”

“And they always get yelled at McGonagall too,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

“Not like she doesn’t take sides,” James pointed out, and Lily laughed.

“Touché,” she said, grinning at him.

**“"So - after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-”**

**"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.”**

They all laughed.

“He’s right,” Sirius nodded, and James nodded vigorously.

“We’ve already established that it was a disgusting cheat, can we move on?” Lily asked, and Sirius and James smiled sheepishly as Remus chuckled.

**“"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-”**

**“Jordan, I'm warning you --"”**

Sirius and James sniggered.

“Because your warnings totally work,” Sirius said sarcastically, and James snorted.

“They do, actually,” he teased, nudging Sirius, who flushed, causing Lily and Remus to laugh.

“It was a _line,_ Prongs,” Sirius said exasperatedly, rolling his eyes, and Jams beamed.

“Oh I know,” he winked, and Sirius glowered at his best mate, who just laughed.

**“"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor, taken by Spinner, who puts it away, no trouble, and we continue play, Gryffindor still in possession."”**

They all burst out laughing.

“I love this kid as well,” Sirius said, and James nodded his agreement.

“He’s hilarious,” James conceded.

“Why are we the only funny ones?” Sirius asked, and James shrugged.

“It’s unfair,” James agreed, “I mean, they have so many!”

“Actually, they only have three,” Lily said, “and there are four of you,” she added, and Sirius snorted.

“Technically three, considering Wormtail doesn’t do much,” he said. James opened his mouth, probably to defend the absent friend, but Sirius just waved him off, “Oh don’t _even_ Prongs, you know I’m right,” he said, and James sighed, running his hand through his hair awkwardly. He caught Lily’s eye and she smiled at him slightly.

**“It was as Harry dodged another Bludger, which went spinning dangerously past his head, that it happened.”**

“That what happened?” Sirius asked, and Lily glared at him, causing James and Remus to laugh as Sirius smiled sheepishly.

**“His broom gave a sudden, frightening lurch.”**

“ _What_?” Lily gasped incredulously

“That’s not right,” James said, looking frightened, “Get off the broom. Get off now.”

**“For a split second, he thought he was going to fall. He gripped the broom tightly with both his hands and knees. He'd never felt anything like that.**

**It happened again. It was as though the broom was trying to buck him off.”**

“Get _off_ the damn broom!” James said urgently, looking terrified.

“Fly to the ground, and dismount,” Sirius said sternly, looking slightly pale.

“But what’s going on?” Remus demanded, looking slightly crazed, “Brooms don’t just suddenly decide to throw people off them,” eh reasoned, and James shrugged.

“Lil,” he said, and she took that as her cue to continue.

**“But Nimbus Two Thousands did not suddenly decide to buck their riders off.”**

“That’s what I said,” Remus said, and the other three threw him irritated looks, “what?”

“There are more important things to think about right now,” James said, although his mouth was twitching with need to laugh at Remus’ perplexed expression.

“Fine,” Remus said dramatically moody, and the other three chuckled.

**“Harry tried to turn back toward the Gryffindor goal-posts - he had half a mind to ask Wood to call time-out”**

“Yes do that!” James urged.

**“- and then he realized that his broom was completely out of his control.”**

The four of their faces drained of all blood.

“This is not good,” Sirius said in a choked voice.

“What’s going on though?” James asked angrily, after nodding in agreement with Sirius.

**“He couldn't turn it. He couldn't direct it at all. It was zigzagging through the air, and every now and then making violent swishing movements that almost unseated him.”**

“Gesture someone over!” Sirius yelled.

“He _can’t_!” Lily cried, “he’s holding on for dear life!”

“What’s going to happen? What’s he going to _do_?” Sirius cried, shoving his nails in his mouth.

**“Lee was still commentating.”**

“You daft imbecile! Notice what’s going on with Harry!” James yelled.

“And paternal James strikes again,” Sirius stage-whispered to Remus, who smirked. Lily giggled and even James tried to fight off a smile.

“Not the time mate,” James said, shoving Sirius, who only barked a laugh, punching James back.

**“"Slytherin in possession - Flint with the Quaffle - passes Spinnet - passes Bell - hit hard in the face by a Bludger, hope it broke his nose”**

They burst out laughing at the unpredictability of the joke, considering they’d been worrying about Harry and his broomstick.

“McGonagall’s not going not like that,” Sirius said gleefully, and the others laughed.

**“- only joking, Professor”**

“Of course you were,” Sirius said sarcastically, and the others laughed.

**“- Slytherins score - A no...””**

Despite everything, James and Sirius still stood up and cursed Flint and a select few of his ancestry. 

**“The Slytherins were cheering.”**

“NOBODY LIKES YOU!” Sirius yelled, and the other three roared with laughter.

“Who’s Captain Obvious _now_?” James teased, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at his best friend, who was grinning cheekily at him.

**“No one seemed to have noticed that Harry's broom was behaving strangely. It was carrying- him slowly higher, away from the game, jerking and twitching as it went.”**

“If he falls he’ll die for sure,” James said worriedly, looking frightened once again.

“He will not fall,” Lily said determinedly.

**“"Dunno what Harry thinks he's doing," Hagrid mumbled. He stared through his binoculars. "If I didn' know better, I'd say he'd lost control of his broom... but he can't have...."”**

“He _has_ though!” Sirius squeaked.

“Quick! Hagrid! Go out there and hold your arms out to catch him!” James said, and the other three burst out laughing, “What? I thought it was a fair suggestion,” he said, and Lily giggled as the other two continued to roar with laughter.

“It may be,” she said, “But nobody expected that,” she said, and James rubbed the back of his neck embarrassedly.

**“Suddenly, people were pointing up at Harry all over the stands. His broom had started to roll over and over, with him only just managing to hold on.”**

“WHAT IS THIS?” James yelled.

**“Then the whole crowd gasped. Harry's broom had given a wild jerk and Harry swung off it. He was now dangling from it, holding on with only one hand.”**

Lily looked like she was going to be sick.

“Oh Merlin,” she gasped, looking down at the book with wide eyes, “What _is_ this?” she whimpered, looking at James, who shook his head, looking equally peaky.

“He’ll be okay,” Sirius said, “there’s a few chapters left.”

“That’s not the point, Sirius,” Lily said, and he nodded

“I know,” he said worriedly.

**“"Did something happen to it when Flint blocked him?" Seamus whispered.”**

“No, no…it cant have…it’d take someone extremely powerful to do that?” James said uncertainly, looking around at the other three, who shook their heads, unsure of what to think. 

**“"Can't have," Hagrid said, his voice shaking "Can't nothing interfere with a broomstick except powerful Dark magic - no kid could do that to a Nimbus Two Thousand."”**

James looked significantly more relieved.

“If that troll had done _anything_ ,” Sirius started angrily, and James clapped him on the shoulder in agreement.

**“At these words, Hermione seized Hagrid's binoculars, but instead of looking up at Harry, she started looking frantically at the crowd.”**

“Smart girl,” Lily said, nodding her head, and the boys frowned.

“What’s with the crowd?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed impatiently.

“Look, if someone’s cursing him, they’re in the stands, and they wont be blinking,” she said, and the boys nodded, still looking slightly confused, but letting it go, figuring they’d found out anyway.

“So she’s not just making sure people are properly frightened?” Sirius asked, and Lily rolled her eyes, fighting a smile, as Remus and James chuckled.

“Merlin forbid they’re not properly worried for the Famous Harry Potter,” Remus gasped, and they laughed.

**“"What are you doing?" moaned Ron, gray-faced.”**

“That’s a very good question Ronniekins,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him, effectively shutting him up. 

**“"I knew it," Hermione gasped, "Snape - look."”**

“N-no!” Lily protested weakly, perplexed, “he _wouldn’t_!” she said, shaking her head. The boys exchanged solemn glances as they regarded Lily.

“Wouldn’t he?” James asked gently, and Lily shook her head sadly, blinking rapidly.

“But that’s _my_ _son_ ,” she said quietly, and the boys looked at her sympathetically, “surely he wouldn’t be so cruel,” she said, and Sirius sighed.

“That’s also James’ son,” he said, and Lily sighed sadly.

“I hate him,” she said simply, and Sirius smirked.

“Welcome to the dark side,” he said, and Lily, much to their surprise, giggled, causing the boys to grin.

“Do we get to chase him with shampoo bottles on the dark side?” she asked, and the boys burst out laughing.

“You’ll fit in swell,” Sirius chuckled, and Lily grinned at him, “that’s a good idea,” he murmured, and James chuckled, patting him on the back.

**“Ron grabbed the binoculars. Snape was in the middle of the stands opposite them. He had his eyes fixed on Harry and was muttering nonstop under his breath.”**

“Arse,” Lily muttered angrily.

**“"He's doing something - jinxing the broom," said Hermione.**

**"What should we do?"”**

“You wont do anything, Hermione will,” Remus said, and Lily laughed.

“Too right you are,” she said, and the three boys chuckled.

“It isn’t fair that Lily’s minion is the best,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted.

“My minion?” she asked, and Sirius nodded.

“Everyone has their own minion!” he said, “Mine’s Ron,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“What about Harry?” she asked, and Sirius shook his head

“He’s everyone’s minion,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus chuckled.

**“"Leave it to me." Before Ron could say another word, Hermione had disappeared. Ron turned the binoculars back on Harry. His broom was vibrating so hard, it was almost impossible for him to hang on much longer.”**

Sirius sniggered madly

“ _What_ could possibly be so funny?” Lily asked exasperatedly, as he continued to snigger.

“That sounds _naughty_ ,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, flushing, as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“You’re so immature,” she said, and Sirius beamed.

“Thank you,” he winked, and she rolled her eyes, smiling slightly, as Remus and James continued to chuckle.

**“The whole crowd was on its feet, watching, terrified, as the Weasleys flew up to try and pull Harry safely onto one of their brooms,”**

“Thank you!” Lily sung happily, and the boy looked happier.

**“but it was no good - every time they got near him, the broom would jump higher still.”**

James and Sirius swore loudly. Lily didn’t even bother to chastise them for their foul language, as she was thinking similar things.

**“They dropped lower and circled beneath him, obviously hoping to catch him if he fell.”**

“If he falls they _better_ catch him,” Sirius growled

“That’s the first time he’s threatened them,” Remus said, and James and Lily laughed as Sirius turned his glare onto Remus, who only grinned at him, not affect whatsoever by Sirius’ hostility.

**“Marcus Flint seized the Quaffle and scored five times without anyone noticing.”**

“Inconsiderate bastard,” James muttered darkly.

**“"Come on, Hermione," Ron muttered desperately.”**

“Yes! Come on Hermione!” James and Sirius urged

“They’re really irritating,” Lily said to Remus, who smirked and nodded 

**“Hermione had fought her way across to the stand where Snape stood, and was now racing along the row behind him; she didn't even stop to say sorry as she knocked Professor Quirrell headfirst into the row in front.”**

“Nobody cares about him,” James said, and then frowned slightly.

“What?” Sirius asked, and James shook his head, smoothening out his frown. It was clear he was hiding something from them.

“James what aren’t you telling us?” Lily asked bluntly, and he shook his head

“It’s nothing,” he said, smiling slightly, “I don’t even think it matters,” he said, and the other three nodded, before shrugging it off.

**“Reaching Snape, she crouched down, pulled out her wand, and whispered a few, well- chosen words. Bright blue flames shot from her wand onto the hem of Snape's robes.**

**It took perhaps thirty seconds for Snape to realize that he was on fire.”**

“Daft much?” Sirius asked, and the other three laughed.

“She’s a smart girl, that one,” Remus said appreciatively, nodding his head in approval. 

**“A sudden yelp told her she had done her job. Scooping the fire off him into a little jar in her pocket,”**

“So does she just carry those around, then?” Sirius asked, and the others laughed.

“Why are you so mean to her?” Lily laughed, and he shrugged, “I thought you were going to be nicer?”

“Old habits die hard,” he said solemnly, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“No they don’t,” she said, and Sirius beamed.

“Right, forgot you ended up dating your sworn enemy,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, cheeks flaming, at the over exaggeration, as Remus and James snickered.

**“she scrambled back along the row - Snape would never know what had happened.”**

“Good girl,” Lily smiled.

“She’s honoured, I assure you,” Sirius said sarcastically, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“You’re just jealous because my minion is cooler than yours,” she said, and winked as Sirius jaw fell and Remus and James roared with laughter

**“It was enough. Up in the air, Harry was suddenly able to clamber back on to his broom.”**

The three boys cheered loudly.

“Remus!” Lily hissed, and he winked at her

“Sorry Lily, it’s catching,” he said, and she rolled her eyes irritably as James and Sirius snickered, hi-fiving Remus. 

**“"Neville, you can look!" Ron said. Neville had been sobbing into Hagrid's jacket for the last five minutes.”**

Sirius snorted, “Manly,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus sniggered.

“He’s _eleven_ ,” she defended, and he shrugged.

“So?” he asked, and she sighed, shaking her head in defeat. There was no point in arguing with Sirius. It just infuriated her. Sirius, recognizing victory, smirked self-satisfactorily.

**“Harry was speeding toward the ground when the crowd saw him clap his hand to his mouth as though he was about to be sick - he hit the field on all fours – coughed”**

“Oh no! he’s going to be sick!” Lily squeaked, covering her mouth worriedly.

“Oh no! He’s going to hurl on the pitch,” James groaned, and Lily spluttered as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter

“ _James_!”

“What?” he said, shuddering, “It’s the _Pitch_ Lily,” he said, shaking his head, “you can’t hurl on it. That’s like, hurling on a temple,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius’ and Remus’ laughter turned into hysterics.

“You’re incorrigible,” she said, and James smirked

“So I’ve heard,” he winked, and Lily flushed as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“What did I tell you about old habits?” Sirius teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Remus laughed.

**“- and something gold fell into his hand.”**

James scrunched his face up in disgust. 

**“"I've got the Snitch!" he shouted, waving it above his head, and the game ended in complete confusion.”**

“WHAT?” James and Sirius yelled, before they all burst out laughing.

“No way!” James wheezed, “he got the snitch!” he laughed. Lily was looking, dumbfounded, down at the book.

“That’s…that’s…that’s ridiculous!” she laughed, and the boys grinned in agreement as she succumbed to peals of laughter.

**“"He didn't catch it, he nearly swallowed it," Flint was still howling twenty minutes later,”**

James and Sirius snorted

“Potato, _Potato_ ,” Sirius said, and James grinned, throwing his arm around his best friend, as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“but it made no difference - Harry hadn't broken any rules and Lee Jordan was still happily shouting the results - Gryffindor had won by one hundred and seventy points to sixty.”**

“YEAH!” James and Sirius roared, suddenly on their feet, jumping up and down, holding onto each other, “WE WON! WE WON!”

“Honestly,” Lily muttered, grinning like a loon, looking down at the book, as Remus laughed at the waltz James and Sirius were performing around the sofa.

**“Harry heard none of this, though. He was being made a cup of strong tea back in Hagrid's hut, with Ron and Hermione.”**

“WHAT?” James roared, “You’re supposed to stay and enjoy the glory!”

“He did almost die,” Lily reasoned, and James huffed.

“He better stay next time,” he muttered, and Lily shook her head fondly as Sirius and Remus chuckled.

“Okay,” Lily said, and James beamed. 

**“"It was Snape," Ron was explaining, "Hermione and I saw him. He was cursing your broomstick, muttering, he wouldn't take his eyes off you."”**

“Hagrids not going to like this,” Lily sighed, and the boys frowned

“Why? It’s the truth,” he said, and Remus nodded. James seemed lost in thought again.

**“"Rubbish," said Hagrid, who hadn't heard a word of what had gone on next to him in the stands.”**

“He didn’t hear that?” Lily laughed.

“Well, they are a lot further down than we are from his ear,” Remus said, and Lily laughed.

“You have a point,” she said, and Remus chuckled.

**“"Why would Snape do somethin' like that?" Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at one another, wondering what to tell him. Harry decided on the truth.”**

“What truth?” Sirius asked excitedly

“Maybe if you didn’t say anything we’d know by now,” Lily said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her smiling face as Remus and James laughed.

**“"I found out something about him," he told Hagrid. "He tried to get past that three-headed dog on Halloween. It bit him. We think he was trying to steal whatever it's guarding." Hagrid dropped the teapot.”**

“Oh no!” Sirius gasped.

“What?” Remus asked, and Sirius pouted.

“He wasted the tea,” he said sadly, and Remus turned to exchange an exasperated look with Lily, who giggled.

**“"How do you know about Fluffy?" he said.”**

“ _Fluffy_?” Sirius snorted.

“It’s obviously Hagrids,” James said, and Sirius shrugged

“I knew _that_ …but _Fluffy_?” he asked incredulously, and the other three laughed. 

**“"Fluffy?"”**

“Exactly,” Sirius nodded, “the bloody dog has _three heads_ , how can you name him something as adorable as fluffy?” he asked, and the other three laughed again.

**“"Yeah - he's mine”**

“No shit,” James snorted, and the others laughed

**“- bought him off a Greek chappie I met in the pub las' year - I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the-”**

**"Yes?" said Harry eagerly.”**

James Sirius and Remus burst out laughing. Lily looked appalled.

“And he knows how to do it!” Sirius laughed happily

“ _That’s_ how you get your secrets out of Hagrid?” Lily asked amusedly. Sirius opened his mouth to respond but James clapped a hand over it.

“A Marauder never reveals his secrets,” he said, and winked at Lily as she rolled her eyes, grinning, as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“"Now, don't ask me anymore," said Hagrid gruffly. "That's top secret, that is."”**

“Oh, yes, they’ll definitely leave you alone now,” said Remus, and the others laughed.

**“"But Snape's trying to steal it!"**

**"Rubbish," said Hagrid again. "Snape's a Hogwarts teacher, he'd do nothin' of the sort."”**

“Yes, well, Lily is a Prefect but you wouldn’t expect her to be reading a book Dumbledore dropped,” James said, and Lily’s jaw dropped as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter at her response

“Oh Merlin!” she squeaked, and James winked at Sirius, who clapped him on the back, chuckling.

**“"So why did he just try and kill Harry?" cried Hermione. The afternoon's events certainly seemed to have changed her mind about Snape.”**

“Good,” Sirius said, nodding happily, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered. 

**““I know a jinx when I see one, Hagrid, I've read all about them!”**

“Of course you have,” Sirius said sardonically.

**“You've got to keep eye contact, and Snape wasn't blinking at all, I saw him!"”**

“She’s right,” Lily concurred, nodding her head sadly.

“Of course she is,” Sirius said, “She’s the know-it-all, after all, isn’t she?” he teased, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as James and Remus laughed.

**“"I'm tellin' yeh, yer wrong!" said Hagrid hotly. "I don' know why Harry's broom acted like that, but Snape wouldn' try an' kill a student! Now, listen to me, all three of yeh - yer meddlin' in things that don' concern yeh. It's dangerous. You forget that dog, an' you forget what it's guardin', that's between Professor Dumbledore an' Nicolas Flamel -"**

**"Aha!" said Harry, "so there's someone called Nicolas Flamel involved, is there?" Hagrid looked furious with himself.”**

They all burst out laughing.

“Poor Hagrid,” Lily giggled, shaking her head in a pitying manner.

“I bet you anything they’ll figure it out now,” James chuckled, and Lily snorted

“If Harry didn’t go figure it out I’d disown him,” she said, and the boys were silent for a second, before they burst out laughing.

“What’s the next chapter?” Sirius chuckled, and Lily grinned, before opening the book.

**“Chapter twelve: The Mirror of Erised”**

“The mirror of _what_?” James asked, and Lily shrugged

“Erised.”

“What’s that?” he asked, and Lily turned to look at him, and he grinned

“I don’t know, do I?” she said defensively, “We’ll find out soon enough, I suppose.”

“But first, Lily and I are going to get some sausages from the kitchens,” Sirius declared, and before anyone could say anything, or respond in any way, he grabbed Lily’s wrist and dragged her out of the Portrait Hole.

“What was that for?” she asked amusedly, and he shrugged

”I want a sausage,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“And we had to go so quickly because…?”

“Because otherwise they’d have trailed along,” he said, “And they walk slow.”

“They do?” Lily laughed, and he smiled, before nodding.

“And I wanted to bond with you,” he said sappily, and Lily glared at him before a mischievous twinkle appeared in her eye. She giggled like a love struck teenager, scaring Sirius, and then threw herself on his arm, causing his eyes to widen.

“Oh _Orion!_ ”

Sirius’s eyes narrowed to slits and he pushed her off his arm, speeding up, as Lily laughed loudly, her laughs echoing in the empty corridor.

“Sirius! Come back!” she laughed, running after him. Sirius chuckled, and put his arm around her shoulders, which were still shaking with giggles.

“Hats off to you Evans, well done,” he said, and she beamed.

“Don’t tell James I threw myself at you,” she said, and Sirius barked a laugh

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

* * *

**Also the part about Lily’s disgusting cursing in her head was courtesy of _Dear John_ , the movie, which I was watching right before I wrote that part. **

**HAPPY FANFICCING**

**REVIEW PLEASE (:**

 


	13. The Mirror of Erised

**Disclaimer: HARRY POTTER IS NOT MINE.**

* * *

“What were you two doing?” Remus asked amusedly, as Sirius and Lily stumbled into the Common Room, giggling like crazy people.

“It was his fault!” Lily squealed, laughing, pointing at Sirius, who gasped. James and Remus exchanged confused looks as the two went to splits of laughter again.

“What happened?” James asked, and Lily took a deep breath.

“We ran into McGonagall,” she started, and then burst out laughing when she caught Sirius’ eye.

“What?” Remus asked, his lips pulling up into a smile watching the two of them laugh. James reached out to steady Lily, who was doubled over with laughter.

“Well, you know, we were discussing the book,” Sirius said, brushing his hair aside majestically, his face flushed from laughter.

“How stupid of you!” Remus chastised, “You _do_ realize we’re not supposed to be reading it, right?” he asked.

“Whatever,” Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes, waving off the accusation, “I was discussing how proud I was of the one and only McGonagall for freaking out Vermin,” he said, and James grinned.

“Forgot about that,” he said, and Lily shot him an exasperated look, which he shrugged off.

“How could you _forget_?” Sirius asked, bewildered, arms waving around as he looked at James in shock.

“I didn’t _mean_ to!”

“I _CANNOT_ BELIEVE-“

“Anyway,” Lily cut in, and the boys stopped talking, “It was purely coincidental when _McGonagall_ walked around the corner and she heard her name,” she said, smiling in anticipation, “So, naturally she asked what we were talking about,” she continued, and Sirius sniggered.

“I love this part,” he said, and the other two boys rolled their eyes, fighting smiles.

“And in response this buffoon over here,” she said, gesturing to Sirius, who feigned insult, “gets down on his knees and throws his arms around her legs and bleeding _thanks_ her for looking after his godson and confusing Vermin!” she said, and James and Remus burst out laughing as Sirius took a little bow.

“Oh Merlin, you _actually_ did that?” Remus asked, and Sirius beamed with pleasure.

“I did,” he responded.

“How did she respond?” James asked excitedly

“Well, we wouldn’t know!” Lily said, rolling her eyes, “As soon as she opened her mouth, the big oaf jumped to his feet, grabbed my arm and started running!” she said, and the other two burst out laughing.

“You forgot the part where I told her she was my idol,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“You _didn’t_!” Remus choked.

“I did,” Sirius nodded.

“He told her, I quote, that he would only be lucky enough to become as good at Transfiguration as her, so he could transfigure himself into someone worthy of her,” Lily said, and the boys howled with laughter as she giggled madly.

“Mate, you just made my day,” James said, clapping Sirius on the shoulder.

“Oh _Prongs_ ,” he said dramatically, throwing his arms around James and started to ‘sob’ into his shoulder.

“There, there, Padfoot,” James said, rolling his eyes over Sirius’ shoulder at Lily, who giggled, as he pat Sirius on the back.

“As _smashing_ as this is,” Remus said, flopping down onto an armchair, “I suggest we get back to reading.”

“ _Smashing_ idea,” Sirius mocked, and Remus glared at him as Lily and James laughed.

“I’ll _smash_ you if you don’t shut up,” Remus mumbled, opening the book, and Lily and James howled with laughter as Sirius threw Remus an amused look.

**“Chapter 12: The Mirror of Erised”**

“Anyone noticed that Erised is Desire spelt backwards?” Sirius asked, and they all turned to look at him.

“Well done,” James deadpanned, and Sirius smirked as Lily and Remus laughed.

“What if that’s important?” he asked, and James chuckled

“We’ll see mate,” he said, clapping Sirius on the back, and Sirius huffed at the condescending tone as Lily and Remus chuckled.

“I thought it was a good observation,” Sirius mumbled, and Remus chuckled

“Spiffing,” he said, and Sirius glared at him.

“ _Smashing_ , you mean?” he asked, and Remus scowled as Lily and James burst out laughing.

**“Christmas was coming.”**

“Why so morbid?” Sirius asked, and the others rolled their eyes.

“That doesn’t sound morbid,” Lily said, from where she was sitting in James’ lap on her favorite armchair.

“It does!” Sirius argued, and she giggled.

“Only to you Orion,” she said, and Sirius scowled at her as James and Remus laughed.

**“One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow.”**

“I _love_ waking up and seeing the grounds covered in snow,” James said excitedly, and Lily beamed.

“ _Me too_!” she squealed, and James laughed at her squeal, as did Sirius and Remus.

“Look at you two boding like little girls,” Sirius sniffed, and Lily giggled as James shot Sirius a dark look.

“Just because _you_ don’t like it when that happens,” James muttered, and Sirius scowled as Lily gasped.

“You don’t?”

“No! It’s so bloody _cold_!” Sirius squawked, and Lily laughed.

“That tends to happen when there’s snow, Sirius,” she pointed out, and Remus let out a snort of laughter as James chuckled.

“But my _knees_ get cold,” he whined, rubbing his knees for emphasis, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at him as Remus and James rolled their eyes, obviously having heard this before.

“Don’t you wear pants?” she asked, and Sirius rolled his yes, fighting a smile, as James and Remus roared with laughter, James placing a feather light kiss behind Lily’s ear.

**“The lake froze solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban.”**

“Brilliant!” Sirius laughed, as the other three broke into fits of silent laughter.

“That would be so annoying,” Remus muttered, and James grinned.

“That’s the point, Remus old pal,” he said, and Remus rolled his eyes at his beaming best mate as Lily and Sirius snickered.

**“The few owls that managed to battle their way through the stormy sky to deliver mail had to be nursed back to health by Hagrid before they could fly off again.”**

“Poor owls,” Sirius pouted, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled.

“They’ll be okay,” James assured Sirius, who beamed with childish joy, causing the other three to laugh.

**“No one could wait for the holidays to start.”**

“Well, young Harry, that’s a normal reaction,” Sirius said, and the other three snorted

“Unless you’re Lily, of course,” James said, wrapping his arms around her stomach, and she gasped, causing the other two boys to laugh.

“Excuse-me?” she said hotly, and James beamed up at her, kissing her cheek quickly.

“It was a joke, love,” he said, and she snorted.

“Wasn’t funny,” she muttered, and Sirius’ eyes twinkled.

 _“You’re_ not funny,” he said and Lily glared at him as Remus and James roared with laughter.

**“While the Gryffindor common room and the Great Hall had roaring fires,”**

The four of them beamed at the fire, and then noticing that the others had, burst out laughing.

**“the drafty corridors had become icy and a bitter wind rattled the windows in the classrooms.”**

“I hate Potions when it’s cold,” Lily shuddered, and the boys cringed in agreement.

“Would it kill Slughorn to light a fire?” Sirius asked rhetorically, and the others laughed.

“He’s a Slytherin,” James reasoned, “He may melt,” he said, and both Remus and Sirius roared with laughter as Lily clucked her tongue disapprovingly, fighting a smile, and slapped his hand resting on her stomach lightly.

**“Worst of all were Professor Snape's classes”**

“Obviously,” Sirius snorted, and the others chuckled.

**“down in the dungeons,”**

“Even worse,” James shuddered, shaking Lily as he shook.

**“where their breath rose in a mist before them and they kept as close as possible to their hot cauldrons.”**

“What are you talking about?” Remus squeaked, “I _love_ that!”

“Me too!” Sirius exclaimed, grinning, “It makes me feel like a dragon,” he added, and Lily giggled as Sirius imitated a dragon.

“Yes, and you’re very frightening,” James assured him sarcastically, and Sirius grasped his chest, looking at James with a love-struck expression.

“Oh _James_ -“

“Oh stop it,” James muttered, fighting a smile, as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“"I do feel so sorry," said Draco Malfoy, one Potions class,”**

“It’s okay Malfoy, we know you cant do anything about your face,” Sirius said solemnly, and Lily snorted as the three boys snickered.

“Thank you for apologizing though,” James said, and Sirius nodded-dare I say it- seriously.

“We understand that the gene pool was not entirely friendly to you,” Sirius sighed, and James nodded sadly

“With a father like that, fate wasn’t kind to you,” James agreed, and Sirius nodded, before the two of them burst out laughing. Lily shook her head fondly, grinning, as Remus chuckled, turning the page.

**"for all those people who have to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas”**

“I _love_ staying at Christmas though,” Remus said, “it’s so nice and empty.”

“He’s insulting Harry, you twat,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“Is it just me, or did the roles just reverse there?” Lily asked James, who laughed as the other two boys turned to glare at Lily, who only smiled serenely at their murderous expressions.

**“because they're not wanted at home."”**

“Like you?” Sirius asked innocently, and the others snorted in agreement.

“Doubt it,” Lily said, “ _Mummy_ just _adores_ him,” she said, and the boys laughed

“That was mirthlessly nasty of you, Lily love,” Sirius said, and Lily took a mock bow as the boys chuckled

“It’s known to happen,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“I’ll say,” James said, and Lily flushed, causing Sirius and Remus to laugh harder.

**“He was looking over at Harry as he spoke. Crabbe and Goyle chuckled.”**

“Ha-bloody-ha, we’re troll-like and stupid, _ha-bloody-ha_ ,” Sirius said nastily, and the others burst out laughing.

“Sirius!” Lily squeaked, and he winked at her.

**“Harry, who was measuring out powdered spine of lionfish, ignored them.”**

“Good move,” Sirius complimented.

“Agreed,” Lily said, nodding her head.

“Look at him diligently measuring potions ingredients,” Sirius sniffed, looking at Lily, who glared at him as James and Remus started to chuckle, “ _So_ grown up.”

“I hope you fall off the Astronomy Tower,” she said, and Sirius pouted magnificently as Remus and James burst out laughing.

**“Malfoy had been even more unpleasant than usual since the Quidditch match.”**

“Because Gryffindor _squashed_ Slytherin,” Remus said, and both Sirius and James cheered.

“Don’t you mean _smashed_?” Sirius asked Remus, who spluttered as Lily and James burst out laughing.

“ _Why_ are you teasing me about this?” Remus asked, him, and Sirius shrugged

“Because I can,” he said after a moments’ thought, causing the other two to laugh harder, and Remus rolled his eyes.

**“Disgusted that the Slytherins had lost,”**

“Been _murdered_ , you mean,” James said, and Sirius yelled incoherently in agreement.

**“he had tried to get everyone laughing at how a wide-mouthed tree frog would be replacing Harry as Seeker next.”**

“Silly boy,” Sirius said sadly, shaking his head, “frogs can’t play Quidditch,” he said, and the other three burst out laughing.

**“Then he'd realized that nobody found this funny,”**

“Because it’s not funny, maybe,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

“Lily!” James chastised, and Lily shrugged.

“He deserves it,” she said, and James chuckled, shaking his head fondly.

“Who has reversed roles _now_?” Remus asked, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Sirius roared with laughter.

**“because they were all so impressed at the way Harry had managed to stay on his bucking broomstick.”**

“As was I,” James said

“And I,” Remus agreed, nodding his head.

“I as well,” Lily said.

“Me was too,” Sirius said, and the other three snorted with laughter as Sirius grinned, obviously proud of himself for forming such a ridiculous and grammatically incorrect sentence, the grammatical ridicule probably the reason for Remus’ scrunched up nose and narrowed eyes.

**“So Malfoy, jealous and angry, had gone back to taunting Harry about having no proper family.”**

Lily and James glared at the book.

“Bloody _twat_ ,” James muttered angrily, Lily nodding viciously.

“I hope he gets mauled by a Hippogriff,” she said, and James snorted in agreement, as Remus and Sirius burst out laughing.

“Hopefully your wishes are answered, Lils,” Sirius said, “Because I would _love_ to see that.”

**“It was true that Harry wasn't going back to Privet Drive for Christmas.”**

“Good for you mate!” Sirius said, thrusting his fist in the air, and the other three chuckled.

“That would be hilarious though!” James said, “Can you imagine how scared Dudley would be?”

“But wouldn’t he be at that, pig-school?” Sirius asked, and Lily laughed.

“Pig school?”

“Forgot what it was called,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily giggled.

“Smeltings,” Remus said, flipping back to the second chapter, and Sirius snapped his fingers.

“That’s the one,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James chuckled.

**“Professor McGonagall had come around the week before, making a list of students who would be staying for the holidays, and Harry had signed up at once.”**

“Smart boy, isn’t he?” James asked proudly.

“Very impulsive too,” Remus muttered, and Sirius snorted.

“Just like his father,” he said in a faux-sweet tone, and James scowled as Lily, Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“It’s okay James,” Lily said, patting his cheek, “I agree with them,” she said, and James scowled at her as Remus and Sirius laughed, and she beamed cheekily at him.

**“He didn't feel sorry for himself at all; this would probably be the best Christmas he'd ever had.”**

“It probably will be,” Remus agreed.

“Yeah, you might actually get presents,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, and the other snorted humorlessly

“I can’t believe that child was so badly treated,” Remus said, shaking his head, and shot Lily an apologetic glance.

“S’fine,” she said, waving her hand, “You’re absolutely right. My sister was an absolute _cow_ ,” she said, and the boys snorted.

“Lily you shouldn’t say that,” James said gently, “She’s your sister.”

“Yes, and she’s an absolute cow,” she said, and James sighed.

“Lil-“

“Honestly James, if you love her so much just go date _her_ ,” Lily said, and James stopped talking immediately, causing Sirius and Remus to burst out laughing. Sirius coughed, the cough sounding conspicuously like the word ‘whipped’, and James scowled at him as Remus and Lily laughed.

“Only problem is, he’ll probably be alone,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged.

“So? He’ll be happy,” she said, and James nodded in agreement, earning himself another ‘cough’, courtesy of Sirius, to whom he shot a scowl.

**“Ron and his brothers were staying, too, because Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were going to Romania to visit Charlie.”**

“YAY!” Sirius yelled happily

“He’ll _definitely_ have a Happy Christmas now,” James said, beaming like a fool.

“James, if he’s anything like _you_ , all his Christmases are Happy Christmases,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, and Lily laughed as James scowled and Sirius hi-fived Remus.

“Oh no,” Lily said, “Fred and George are going to be there,” she said, her mouth pulling up into a smile, and the three boys beamed manically

“I’m _so_ excited,” Sirius said, bouncing up and down,

“Why? _You’re_ not there,” James said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“When they left the dungeons at the end of Potions, they found a large fir tree blocking the corridor ahead.”**

“Oh, hello tree!” Sirius said, and the other three snorted in amusement.

“It’s not a tree,” Lily said, “its Hagrid carrying a tree.”

“I believe he _drags_ the trees,” James corrected, and Lily waved it off.

“Whatever, same thing,” she said, and James chuckled.

“It’s not the same!” he said, and Lily nudged him in the stomach with her elbow, causing him to chuckle.

“And, Lilykins,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him as Remus and James chuckled, “It _is_ a tree,” he said.

“I know,” she said, and Sirius smirked.

“I believe it _was_ you who said ‘it’s not a tree, its Hagrid carrying a tree’,” he said, and Lily flushed as James and Remus laughed.

“You knew what I meant,” she mumbled, and Sirius smirked.

“I did,” he said, and she scowled at him.

“He’s _dragging_ the tree,” James mumbled, and Lily and Sirius rolled their eyes fondly and Remus laughed.

**“Two enormous feet sticking out at the bottom and a loud puffing sound told them that Hagrid was behind it.”**

“See?” Lily said, and Sirius rolled his eyes as Remus and James laughed.

“Oh, yes, oh mighty Lily, I shath never doubt thee,” Sirius deadpanned and Lily flushed as James and Remus roared with laughter.

**“"Hi, Hagrid, want any help?" Ron asked, sticking his head through the branches.”**

Lily burst out laughing, “How could you help anyway?” she asked, and the boys laughed.

“Well, he is powerful at levitation charms, if you remember correctly,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Yes, he levitates a club _once_ and suddenly he’s the all powerful ruler of levitation charms,” she said, and Sirius shot her an amused look as James and Remus laughed.

**“"Nah, I'm all right, thanks, Ron."”**

“You’re welcome Hagrid!” Sirius said, and the others chuckled.

“He said _Ron_ , Sirius,” Remus said, rolling his eyes fondly

“Yes, and as Ronald is _my_ minion, I can take credit,” Sirius said, and Remus shook his head, sighing, as Lily and James laughed.

**“"Would you mind moving out of the way?"”**

“Ronald!” Sirius gasped, looking affronted.

“It wasn’t Ron,” James said, rolling his eyes

“How do you know that?” Sirius asked, looking at James with pleading eyes, as if this were actually very important. Lily rolled her eyes amusedly at Remus, who chuckled, shaking his head similarly.

“Because Ronald isn’t that rude,” James said simply

“Oh, well, maybe it’s Harry then,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a glare.

“It’s not,” she said bluntly, and James grinned at Sirius from behind Lily as Sirius cowered under Lily’s threatening gaze and Remus chuckled.

“It was a joke!”

“Sure it was,” Lily said, smirking, and turning back to Remus, who chuckled and looked down at the book.

**“came Malfoy’s cold drawl from behind them.”**

“Told you,” James said simply, and Sirius beamed.

“I’m _so_ happy,” he said happily, and Lily shook her head, causing James to chuckle.

**“"Are you trying to earn some extra money, Weasley?”**

“Sod off, Malfoy,” James and Sirius said together, and Remus snorted.

“They’ve had practice saying that,” he told Lily, who giggled as James and Sirius shrugged

“His father heard it, it’s about time he did,” James said, and Sirius nodded in agreement.

“Family tradition,” he said, and James beamed at Sirius, as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Hoping to be gamekeeper yourself when you leave Hogwarts, I suppose –“**

“Well if he’s game keeper he wouldn’t be leaving Hogwarts now would be?” Remus asked, and the other three burst out laughing

“Moony, you sly _dog_ ,” Sirius laughed, clapping Remus on the shoulder.

“ _You’re_ the dog,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, and Sirius shrugged as Lily and James laughed.

**“that hut of Hagrid's must seem like a palace compared to what your family's used to."”**

“Rot in _hell_ Malfoy,” Sirius said darkly, and Lily snorted.

“I’d rather not,” she said sadly, “Hell has nice accommodations, from what I’ve heard,” she said and Sirius laughed, as did James and Remus

“How do you figure that?” James asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Simple. Most people go there, so it has to be nice,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“She has a point,” Remus chuckled.

**“Ron dived at Malfoy just as Snape came up the stairs.”**

“Bloody slimy git and his terrible timing,” Sirius muttered irritably, crossing his arms, and the others exchanged amused glances.

**“"WEASLEY!" Ron let go of the front of Malfoy's robes.”**

“Now go wash your hands, he’s a Slytherin,” Sirius said, and shuddered, and the others laughed

**“"He was provoked, Professor Snape," said Hagrid, sticking his huge hairy face out from behind the tree. "Malfoy was insultin' his family."”**

“ _Bless_ you Hagrid,” Sirius sniffed, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Is he always like this?” she whispered to James, who chuckled and nodded.

**“"Be that as it may, fighting is against Hogwarts rules, Hagrid," said Snape silkily. "Five points from Gryffindor, Weasley, and be grateful it isn't more. Move along, all of you."”**

“That…that…that!” Sirius spluttered, and James nodded solemnly

“I know,” he said, and Sirius huffed, crossing his arms.

“He’s right, though,” Lily said, and the two boys snapped their heads to her, glaring, “What? You’re not _supposed_ to fight at Hogwarts. It _is_ against the rules,” she said, and James snorted.

“I’m breaking up with you,” he said, and she rolled her eyes as Sirius sniggered.

“I don’t see what you’re so angry about,” she said, shaking her head, “I mean, yes, it sucks that they lost points for Gryffindor, but he isn’t supposed to fight!” she said indignantly, as James and Sirius started shaking their heads in a pitying manner.

“Lily, just a note for future reference,” Remus said, leaning towards her, “they strictly believe Gryffindors can do no wrong,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, “So this situation, although you are correct in saying it’s Ron’s fault, they are going to peg on Snape,” he finished, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Pathetic,” she muttered, and Remus smirked as James and Sirius’ jaws dropped

“He was _provoked_!” Sirius hissed indignantly, and Lily sighed, shaking her head. She looked at Remus for a second before taking a breath.

“You’re right,” she said, and Sirius nodded, looking back at Remus. Remus winked at Lily, who was rolling her eyes, before turning back to the book

**“Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle pushed roughly past the tree, scattering needles everywhere and smirking.”**

“Pricks,” Sirius mumbled, punching the sofa cushion, his dramatics causing Lily to roll her eyes and James and Remus to chuckle.

“You mean, arrogant bullying toe-rags,” James corrected, grinning as he saw the back of Lily’s neck redden.

“ _Must_ you tease me?” she asked exasperatedly, and James beamed, leaning in to kiss her behind the ear.

“Always.”

“So romantic,” she said, rolling her eyes, and Sirius and Remus laughed as James beamed at her.

**“"I'll get him," said Ron, grinding his teeth at Malfoy's back, "one of these days, I'll get him -"”**

“Of course you will Ronald!” Sirius said, grinning, and Lily shot Remus an exasperated look, to which he chuckled.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, mate,” James said, his voice shaking with restrained laughter, as he regarded Sirius’ proud stature.

**“"I hate them both," said Harry, "Malfoy and Snape."”**

“Atta boy,” James said.

“Cheers mate,” Sirius said, nodding at the book.

“You’re all lunatics,” Lily said, and Remus blanched as James and Sirius bowed.

“What about me?” he asked, pouting slightly

“Remus, you’re one of them,” she said, and Remus nodded

“That I am,” he said, and both James and Sirius sniggered.

“Moony’s back!” Sirius said happily.

“When was he gone?” Lily asked, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Lily love, when he’s being a swotty little Prefect, he’s Remus,” he said, and Remus rolled his eyes as James and Lily chuckled, “But when he’s one of us, he’s Moony.”

“Oh, so you’re saying Moony is back, and that Remus is his dark side, or light side, depending on how you see it,” Lily said, and Sirius nodded.

“Dark side,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James laughed, and Sirius winked at her.

**“"Come on, cheer up, it's nearly Christmas," said Hagrid.”**

“Exactly!” James said happily, bouncing up and down, causing Lily to bounce as well as she was on his lap, “Christmas is _great_!”

“Look who’s back,” Sirius deadpanned, and Lily and Remus burst out laughing as James shot his best mate a glare.

**“"Tell yeh what, come with me an' see the Great Hall, looks a treat."”**

“That’s not fair!” Sirius gasped.

“He _never_ takes us in there before to see!” James whined.

“Probably because he knows you lot will make the pumpkins vomit pumpkin juice or something,” Lily said, and saw the boys’ eyes twinkle.

“Lily! That’s a _brilliant_ idea!” Remus said excitedly.

“See? Moony,” Sirius said, nodding towards Remus, and Lily groaned.

“What have I done?” Lily asked, looking up at the ceiling as if consulting some higher power, and the three boys smirked.

“Unleashed the Marauders,” James said simply, and Lily sighed.

“Sorry,” she said to the ceiling, and the boys burst out laughing.  

**“So the three of them followed Hagrid and his tree”**

Sirius burst out laughing, “Hagrid _and his tree_ ,” he chuckled, and the others looks of concern at Sirius’ sanity dissolved into laughter.

“I want a tree,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I _have_ a tree,” Remus said, and Sirius smirked as James laughed, as Remus referred to the Whomping Willow that had been planted because of him. Lily blinked, confused, but let it go, assuming she’d find out sooner or later.

**“off to the Great Hall, where Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick were busy with the Christmas decorations.**

**"Ah, Hagrid, the last tree - put it in the far corner, would you?" The hall looked spectacular. Festoons of holly and mistletoe hung all around the walls, and no less than twelve towering Christmas trees stood around the room, some sparkling with tiny icicles, some glittering with hundreds of candles.”**

“DECK THE HALLS WITH-“

“Thanks Lily,” Sirius said, rubbing his temples, as Lily slammed her hand over James’ mouth, his singing coming out muffled.

“FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA,” James yelled, pulling Lily’s hand off his mouth and pinning it to her side, “TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY-”

“Yes, James, Fa la la la la, la la la la, we get it,” Lily said, slamming her hand on his mouth once again. Sirius and Remus burst out laughing, and James looked at her amusedly, “JAMES!” she screeched, pulling her hand back from his mouth as something slimy slid across her palm. James was grinning devilishly, “Did you just _lick_ me?” she asked incredulously, and James winked as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“I did,” he said simply, and kissed her mouth quickly before leaning back, “Go on Moony.”

“Going,” Remus chuckled, as Lily wiped her hand on James’ knees, causing Sirius to snigger and James to smirk at her.

**“"How many days you got left until yer holidays?" Hagrid asked.”**

“As gamekeeper, shouldn’t he know this?” James asked, and Sirius glared at him.

“He was probably just making polite conversation,” Sirius said stiffly, and James snorted.

“Right, sorry, forgot you were possessive over Hagrid,” he said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out as Lily and Remus laughed.

“He’s my minion!” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Sirius, you’re _his_ minion,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus laughed.

“I’m _nobody’s_ minion,” he said, and James smirked.

“You’re mine, as I am Head Marauder and all,” he said, and Sirius and Remus glared at him as Lily laughed.

“That girl was drugged, I promise,” Sirius said, and James snorted.

“We can check again, if you’d like.”

“Yes, we’ll do that,” Sirius huffed, he and Remus crossing his arms as Lily covered her mouth to hide her laughter.

**“"Just one," said Hermione. "And that reminds me- Harry, Ron, we've got half an hour before lunch, we should be in the library."”**

“WHY?” James and Sirius bellowed, looking deeply insulted.

“It’s the _day_ before Christmas Holidays!” Sirius yelled, aghast, “WHY do you need to be in the library?”

“Even _Lily_ isn’t in the library the day before holidays,” James said, and Lily scowled at his winking face as Remus and Sirius chuckled.

**“"Oh yeah, you're right," said Ron, tearing his eyes away from Professor Flitwick, who had golden bubbles blossoming out of his wand and was trailing them over the branches of the new tree.”**

“Ah Flitwick,” Lily said happily.

“Forget Flitwick,” Sirius said, looking faint, “she’s got _Ron_ agreeing to go to the library?” he gasped, and Lily snorted as Remus chuckled.

“What has she _done_ to them?” James asked, looking a little, if not more, frightened.

“I _told_ you mate,” Sirius said, “ _Never_ date a know-it-all bird,” he said, looking pointedly at Lily, who rolled her eyes amusedly, “You’ll end up in the library!”

“Well, you know where to find me then,” James said, and Lily beamed at him as Sirius rolled his eyes and Remus smiled at the couple.

**“"The library?" said Hagrid, following them out of the hall. "Just before the holidays? Bit keen, aren't yeh?"”**

“Yes, _thank you_ Hagrid,” Sirius said, slightly hysterical. Lily and Remus exchanged amused glances, and even James chuckled a little.

**“"Oh, we're not working," Harry told him brightly.”**

“Oh,” Sirius said intelligently, looking more relaxed

“Is that okay with you then?” Lily asked, eyes wide and innocent.

“Yes,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded, before rolling her eyes at Remus, who coughed to hide a rather violent chuckle.

**“"Ever since you mentioned Nicolas Flamel we've been trying to find out who he is."”**

“Good boy!” Sirius said, grinning.

“He’s female, I am sure of it,” Lily said, and Remus and James burst out laughing as Sirius’ jaw dropped.

“What makes you say that?”

“You PMS!” Lily squeaked, and Sirius paled comically.

“WHAT?” he bellowed. James and Remus were shaking with silent laughter, tears streaming down their faces.

“You heard me!” Lily said, “If you didn’t have such violent mood swings I wouldn’t have even _considered_ the female possibility,” she said, and Sirius blanched.

“Padfoot! You didn’t tell me you were a bird!” James gasped, and Sirius glared at his grinning best mate.

“Shove off,” he muttered, and James shook his head cheekily as Sirius fell backwards, arms crossed moodily.

“See? PMS,” Lily said, and Sirius snorted, mouth twitching in his attempt to hold back his smile, as Remus and James laughed.

**“"You what?" Hagrid looked shocked.”**

“Poor Hagrid,” Sirius said, “he didn’t do anything wrong, and here he is on his way to a heart attack.”

“Er, right, sure,” James said, rolling his eyes at Lily, who giggled.

**“"Listen here - I've told yeh - drop it. It's nothin' to you what that dog's guardin'."”**

“Then tell them,” Sirius said simply, and the other three laughed.

**“"We just want to know who Nicolas Flamel is, that's all," said Hermione.”**

“Sneaky little minx,” Sirius said amusedly. The other three shook their heads fondly.

**“"Unless you'd like to tell us and save us the trouble." Harry added. "We must've been through hundreds of books already and we can't find him anywhere - just give us a hint - I know I've read his name somewhere."”**

The boys burst out laughing as Lily shook her head amusedly

“That boy is such a cheek,” she said, clucking her tongue.

“I agree,” James said, beaming, “he’s ruddy brilliant.”

“Yes, well done you,” Sirius said, winking at James, who took a mock bow as Lily rolled her eyes, flushing slightly.

“You _have_ read his name somewhere!” Remus said, and Lily nodded.

“What? He has?” Sirius gasped, gaping between Remus and Lily.

“Yes,” Lily said simply

“Where?” James asked, and Lily sighed.

“Chocolate Frog Card,” she said, and James and Sirius’ jaws dropped simultaneously.

“OH MERLIN!” the two boys yelled, and Lily and Remus chuckled.

“Dumbledore, actually,” Remus said, and Lily laughed as Sirius and James shot him sardonic looks.

**“"I'm sayin' nothin,” said Hagrid flatly.”**

“But Hagrid!” Sirius whined.

“They’re going to find out anyway,” James said, and Sirius nodded.

“Why put the ickle Firsties through so much work?” he asked.

“Especially during _Christmas_!” James said, his eyes brightening at the word.

“Yes, James, we get it, Christmas is Merlin’s day on earth, or whatever, enough, okay?” Lily asked, and Remus and Sirius burst out laughing as James flushed, smirking.

“Merlin’s day on earth?” he asked amusedly, and Lily flushed

“Oh I don’t know,” she said, and James chuckled, hugging his arms around her more firmly

**“"Just have to find out for ourselves, then," said Ron, and they left Hagrid looking disgruntled and hurried off to the library.”**

“He should’ve just told them,” Sirius muttered, looking upset that his ‘hero’ hadn’t told his minion what he wanted to know.

“He shouldn’t have,” Lily said, shaking her head, and Sirius glared at her, “but I would’ve liked him to,” she added, and Sirius beamed as James and Remus chuckled at their friends’ predictability.

**“They had indeed been searching books for Flamel's name ever since Hagrid had let it slip, because how else were they going to find out what Snape was trying to steal?”**

“Ah, of course, forgot about Snape,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed, shaking her head.

“I still can’t believe that,” she whispered, so only James could hear, and he rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Sorry,” he whispered, and she turned to smile at him.

“Thanks,” she said, and he smiled up at her.

**“The trouble was, it was very hard to know where to begin, not knowing what Flamel might have done to get himself into a book.”**

“Start with the obvious ones,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, “that’s so…”

“Obvious?” James suggested, smirking, and Sirius barked a laugh as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Yes, that’s the word I was looking for,” Sirius said, “however did you know?”

“Intuition,” James said, and Sirius snorted.

“Sure mate.”

**“He wasn't _in Great Wizards of the Twentieth Century_ , or _Notable Magical Names of Our Time_ ; he was missing, too, from _Important Modern Magical Discoveries_ , and _A Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry_.”**

“Oh, so they did check the obvious ones,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

“He’s probably in the Restricted Section,” Lily said, nodding her head, and the boys gasped.

“Go in there!” James urged, and she turned around to glare at him.

“ _No_ ,” she said, “its _restricted_ James,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Yes, and that’s what being sneaky is for,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly, knowing a lost cause when she’d seen one.

“ _Smashing_ idea,” Sirius said, winking at Remus, who groaned as Lily and James laughed.

**“And then, of course, there was the sheer size of the library; tens of thousands of books; thousands of shelves; hundreds of narrow rows.”**

“Hold on for a second mate,” Sirius said, and Remus looked towards him, but Sirius was looking at Lily, “Evans needs a moment to calm herself down,” he winked and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“That was uncalled for and hurtful,” she sniffed, and Sirius beamed.

“I know love,” Sirius said, “But you called me Orion,” he offered as an explanation, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus sniggered.

**“Hermione took out a list of subjects and titles she had decided to search while Ron strode off down a row of books and started pulling them off the shelves at random.”**

“That’s contrast of Ron and Hermione for you,” Remus said, and the others laughed.

“Ron and Hermione?” James chuckled, “It contrasts and Lily and Sirius,” he said, and Lily and Remus laughed as Sirius shot James an affronted look.

“Whose side are you on?” he squawked, and James grinned.

“The winning one,” he said, and Sirius’ moth twitched with laughter.

**“Harry wandered over to the Restricted Section.”**

The boys shot smug looks at Lily, whose jaw was all the way down.

“I _told_ you,” James said simply, and Lily huffed.

“I _hate_ you,” she said, and James snorted as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“He had been wondering for a while if Flamel wasn't somewhere in there. Unfortunately, you needed a specially signed note from one of the teachers to look in any of the restricted books, and he knew he'd never get one.”**

“That’s good,” Lily said, shaking her head.

“Excuse me?” Sirius gasped.

“I want them to find Flamel,” she said, and the boys relaxed their tense stances, “But there are some _terrible_ books there,” she said, shaking her head.

“How would you know?” James asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Madame Pince lets me go in there,” she said, and the boys’ jaws fell

“WHAT?” the yelled in unison, and Lily smirked.

“Well, she trusts me,” she shrugged.

“So you can go in there unsupervised?” Sirius gasped, and Lily nodded, grinning.

“Can you take us?” James pleaded, and Lily snorted, shaking her head, and James pouted, “but I’m your boyfriend!”

“I know,” she said, patting his arm, and James huffed as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Pince’ll probably think you two are snogging back there,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed as James grinned devilishly, “She wont let you two back there. _However_ , if you took someone who was _not_ your boyfriend,” he said, trailing off suggestively, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus laughed and James smirked.

“No Sirius,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

“What about me?” Remus asked, and Lily shook her head, causing him to sigh dramatically, “I feel so unloved.”

“Join the club,” James mumbled, and Lily rolled her eyes at their dramatics.

“Not working.”

“Aw. Lily!” Sirius whined, and she smirked.

**“These were the books containing powerful Dark Magic never taught at Hogwarts, and only read by older students studying advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts.”**

“Not even then, sometimes,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“Because you would know,” James said sarcastically, and Remus stuck his tongue out at him as Sirius and Lily laughed.

**“"What are you looking for, boy?”**

“Hello Madam Pince,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled.

“Polite old bird, isn’t she?” James asked, and Sirius snorted.

**“"Nothing," said Harry.**

**Madam Pince the librarian brandished a feather duster at him. "You'd better get out, then. Go on - out!"”**

“No wonder she and Filch are seeing each other,” Sirius muttered, and Lily gasped.

“What?” she asked, and Sirius smirked as James and Remus chuckled.

“You didn’t know?”

“They _are_?” she gasped, unsure if she should be excited by new gossip or disgusted by the contents of this gossip.

“No,” James said bluntly, and Sirius glared at him, “That’s just his theory.”

“They _always_ go off together!” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus chuckled.

**“Wishing he'd been a bit quicker at thinking up some story, Harry left the library.”**

“Stupid boy,” James said, shaking his head, earning himself a smack in the head, courtesy of Lily.

“Do not call my son stupid,” she said, and James smirked.

“I’m calling _my_ son stupid,” he said, and Lily glared at him as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“No,” she said, shaking her head, and James pouted, as the other two continued to laugh.

**“He, Ron, and Hermione had already agreed they'd better not ask Madam Pince where they could find Flamel. They were sure she'd be able to tell them, but they couldn't risk Snape hearing what they were up to.”**

“That’s true,” Sirius agreed, nodding.

“You know,” Lily said, “If they asked Pince _all_ the teachers would find out, not just Snape, and then they’d _all_ spy on them,” she said, and the boys cringed.

“You’re right,” Remus said, shaking his head, muttering about teachers with nothing better to do.

“Good thing they didn’t ask Pince then,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“Harry waited outside in the corridor to see if the other two had found anything, but he wasn't very hopeful.”**

“Don’t be like that!” Sirius urged, “You should _always_ be hopeful!”

“What is _wrong_ with you?” Lily asked exasperatedly, and Sirius pouted as Remus and James laughed.

“A lot of things,” James said, and Lily smirked as Sirius blanched.

“Thought so,” she said, and James and Remus sniggered as Sirius grandly displayed his middle finger to James.

**“They had been looking for two weeks, after all, but as they only had odd moments between lessons it wasn't surprising they'd found nothing. What they really needed was a nice long search without Madam Pince breathing down their necks.”**

“Not going to happen,” Sirius said.

“Unless they have the cloak,” James said, and the other two boys nodded.

“Yes, but even Pince’d be able to see books flying seemingly out of nowhere,” Remus said, and James sighed.

“ _What_ are you talking about?” Lily asked, and the boys beamed.

“Sorry love, Marauders secret,” James said, kissing her cheek, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him

“But I’m your girlfriend!” she said, imitating his tone from before, and James shook his head fondly as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“Five minutes later, Ron and Hermione joined him, shaking their heads. They went off to lunch.”**

“That’s the best solution for everything,” Sirius said, nodding his head, and the other three chuckled.

“I prefer breakfast, actually,” James said, and Lily snorted.

“Dinner.”

“Yes!” Remus said happily, grinning at Lily, “we win!” he said happily, as James and Sirius looked shocked.

“What?” Lily asked, and Remus sighed.

“We were arguing as to which meal is the best of the day,” he said, and Lily nodded, smirking.

“Dinner,” she repeated, and James and Sirius huffed as Remus beamed.

**“"You will keep looking while I'm away, won't you?" said Hermione. "And send me an owl if you find anything?"”**

“No, they will not, they’ll keep you in the dark,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled.

“Doubt it,” Remus said, “They’re too gentlemanly,” he said, and Lily smirked.

“Something you should learn, Sirius,” she said, and Sirius balked as Remus and James laughed.

“I’m a gentleman!” he squawked, and Lily snorted.

“And I’m the queen,” she said, and Sirius smirked.

“Nice to meet you, your majesty,” he said, bowing, and Lily giggled as Remus and James shook their heads fondly, grinning.

**“"And you could ask your parents if they know who Flamel is," said Ron. "It'd be safe to ask them."”**

“Considering they’re muggles and all,” Lily said, and the boys snorted.

“What would muggles know?” James asked, and Lily shrugged.

“You never know,” she said, and the boys shrugged in agreement.

“Touché, but it’s not likely,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head.

“No, not likely at all.”

**“"Very safe, as they're both dentists," said Hermione.”**

Lily shuddered violently.

“What?” James asked, rubbing her arms, thinking she was cold.

“I _hate_ the dentist,” she shuddered, and the boys chuckled.

“Why?” Sirius asked, “What _are_ dentists?”

“They deal with peoples teeth,” she said, and the boys frowned.

“How is that scary?” James asked, and Lily shuddered.

“They have all these…tools,” she said, “And they make this noise,” she said, imitating the sound of a buzzing bee, “and they shove tha tin your mouth and touch your teeth and they wear these scary latex sanitary gloves and-“ she broke off, shuddering, and the boys chuckled.

“it cant be _that_ bad,” James said, and Lily glared at him.

“I’ll add that to the damn list,” she said, and the boys smirked.

“Bring it on Evans,” Sirius said, and Lily lifted her head, nose in the air.

“I will,” she said, and the boys laughed. 

**“oOo”**

Lily and James burst out laughing as Sirius’ jaw dropped.

“MOONY! You stole my singing?” he gasped, and Remus grinned devilishly.

“I had no idea you could sing!” Lily choked through her peals of laughter, and Remus smirked.

“I did,” he said, and both James and Sirius’ jaws dropped

“And you didn’t _tell us_?” James gasped, and Remus shook his head, shuddering.

“You’d have made me sing,” he said, and Sirius sighed.

“Alas, ‘tis the truth,” he said, and Lily and James chuckled. Sirius’ eyes narrowed, “Looks like I have competition,” he added, looking at Remus, who rolled his eyes fondly as Lily and James roared with laughter.

“It’s okay Pads, I give the title to you, I don’t want it,” Remus said, and Sirius beamed at him as Lily and James chuckled, shaking their heads.

“Moony, I love you.”

“Okay,” Remus snorted, turning back to the book, as Lily and James continued to laugh.

**“Once the holidays had started, Ron and Harry were having too good a time to think much about Flamel.”**

“Because it’s _Christmas_ ,” James said delightedly, and the other three sighed.

**“They had the dormitory to themselves”**

“I love that,” Sirius said.

“Mate, we _always_ have the dormitory to ourselves,” James said, and Sirius shrugged, causing Lily and Remus to laugh.

“It’s nice to have the whole of the boys dormitories to us,” he said, and James nodded.

“That is fun,” he agreed, and Lily grinning.

“I get all the girls dormitories to myself,” she said, and the boys gaped.

“That is _not_ fair,” Remus said, “I have to share with these oafs!”

“Poor Remmy-poo,” Lily cooed, and Remus’ expression darkened as Sirius and James roared with laughter.

“Look what’s back!” Sirius said, “Isn’t that _smashing_ , Moony?”

“Bastard,” Remus muttered, and Sirius winked as Lily and James laughed.

**“and the common room was far emptier than usual, so they were able to get the good armchairs by the fire.”**

They looked around, and then beamed at each other.

**“They sat by the hour eating anything they could spear on a toasting fork - bread, English muffins, marshmallows - and plotting ways of getting Malfoy expelled, which were fun to talk about even if they wouldn't work.”**

They all laughed.

“I love just _plotting_ ,” Lily said happily, and the boys looked at her amusedly

“Do you really?” James asked, and Lily nodded.

“How do you think I come up with such classic rejections?” she asked, and James shook his head fondly as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“You can plot with us!” Sirius said happily

“Yeah Lily,” Remus said, “you’re bloody brilliant at prank ideas, join us,” he said, and Lily beamed.

“I’ll consider it,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

**“Ron also started teaching Harry wizard chess. This was exactly like Muggle chess except that the figures were alive, which made it a lot like directing troops in battle.”**

“Yes, a mans game,” Sirius said, leaning forwards.

“Mate, you think bleeding _Gobstones_ is a mans game,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, and Lily burst out laughing

“ _What_?” she laughed, looking at Sirius, who flushed, “you’re a _Gobstones_ fan?”

“No,” Sirius flushed, and Lily giggled as James and Remus laughed.

“We can play sometime,” she said, and Sirius brightened

“ _Really_?” he gasped, and Lily beamed.

“No, I don’t play Gobstones, it’s a pansy’s game,” she said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as Remus and James burst out laughing

“Lily Claire Evans!” Sirius yelled, and Lily grinned.

“I was kidding Sirius,” she giggled, “I’ll play with you.”

“YAY!” Sirius said happily, and Lily shook her head fondly, smiling.

**“Ron's set was very old and battered. Like everything else he owned, it had once belonged to someone else in his family - in this case, his grandfather.”**

“I like heirlooms,” Lily said, “I don’t see how he gets so ashamed of these things.”

“You do?” James asked, and Lily nodded enthusiastically

“I like having the ability to say, ‘oh, yes, this was my grandmothers’,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

“You know, in this case, them being a family heirloom is good,” Sirius said, “they trust you more,” he said, and the boys nodded.

“That’s why Moony always wins,” James said, “His chess pieces belonged to his grandfather.”

“Great-grandfather, thank you very much,” Remus said, and James and Sirius scowled as Lily laughed.

**“However, old chessmen weren't a drawback at all.”**

“I know,” Remus said happily, eyes twinkling as his friends glared at him.

**“Ron knew them so well he never had trouble getting them to do what he wanted. Harry played with chessmen Seamus Finnigan had lent him, and they didn't trust him at all. He wasn't a very good player yet and they kept shouting different bits of advice at him, which was confusing.**

**"Don't send me there, can't you see his knight? Send him, we can afford to lose him!"”**

“I love chessmen,” Sirius chuckled.

“Especially the ones that curse,” James said, and Sirius sniggered.

“Like yours?” he asked, and James winked.

“What are your chessmen like Lily?” Remus asked, and Lily flushed slightly

“I’ve, er, never played,” she said, and the boys gasped.

“You’ve _never_ played Wizards Chess?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head, “Merlin woman! You haven’t _lived_!”

“You sound like Dorcas,” Lily chuckled, referring to her dorm-mate, and Sirius smirked.

“Knew I always liked Meadowes,” he said, and Remus and James rolled their eyes.

**“On Christmas Eve, Harry went to bed looking forward to the next day for the food and the fun, but not expecting any presents at all.”**

“Food is good,” Sirius nodded, and James rolled his eyes

“ _PRESENTS_ you dolt,” Remus hissed, and the others laughed.

“Sorry mate,” Sirius said, and Remus shook his head irritably at his friends’ idiocy.

“Think he’ll get any?” Lily asked, and the boys shrugged.

“He doesn’t know many people,” James said, and Lily nodded sadly

**“When he woke early in the morning, however, the first thing he saw was a small pile of packages at the foot of his bed.”**

“YAY!” Remus said happily, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up.

“Maybe Sirius is just a more excited version of Remus,” she said, and Sirius glared at her as James roared with laughter and Remus chose between a look of amusement and one of disgust. 

**““Happy Christmas," said Ron sleepily as Harry scrambled out of bed and pulled on his bathrobe.**

**"You, too," said Harry. "Will you look at this? I've got some presents!"”**

Lily and James smiled.

“Cute,” she said, and he nodded in agreement.

“Well, _obviously_ ,” Sirius snorted, “What did he expect? Carrots?” he asked, and the other three laughed.

**“"What did you expect, turnips?" said Ron, turning to his own pile, which was a lot bigger than Harry's.”**

Sirius gasped as Lily, James and Remus shook their heads incredulously

“I _told_ you he was my minion!” he yelled, pointing at the book.

“That’s just bloody uncanny,” James chuckled, shaking his head.

“Except Ron said turnips,” Lily said, and James nodded.

“I _love_ this kid!” Sirius said happily, and the other three sighed.

“We should warn Arthur and Molly that Sirius is going to steal their son,” Remus said, and Lily and James laughed as Sirius smirked.

**“Harry picked up the top parcel. It was wrapped in thick brown paper and scrawled across it was _To Harry, from Hagrid_.”**

“Aw! Hagrid!” Lily squeaked happily, and the boys grinned.

“He didn’t have to,” James said, smiling.

“No, he didn’t,” Lily said, beaming happily, “Oh _Hagrid_!” she squealed again, and James rolled his eyes amusedly as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Looks like you have competition, mate,” Sirius teased, and James chuckled.

“No,” Lily said, shaking her head, and James beamed, “I cannot stand beards,” she said, and James’ expression fell, causing Sirius and Remus to roar with laughter as Lily winked at James.

“I thought you were going to say something about how you loved _me_!” James said, and Lily snorted.

“No,” she said, and James pouted magnificently as Sirius and Remus continued to laugh.

**“Inside was a roughly cut wooden flute. Hagrid had obviously whittled it himself. Harry blew it - it sounded a bit like an owl.”**

“That’s so cool!” Sirius gasped.

“I want one!” James whined.

“Then go ask Hagrid for one,” Remus chuckled, and the boys’ eyes widened.

“We _will_!” they said in unison, and Lily shook her head fondly as Remus laughed.

**“A second, very small parcel contained a note.”**

“That’s…er…thoughtful?” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“Depends what kind of note it is,” she said, “It could be money.”

“Oh! That is thoughtful, then,” Sirius said, and they laughed.

**“ _We received your message and enclose your Christmas present. From Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia._ ”**

“So it was a _letter_ note?” Sirius asked, looking disappointed.

“Apparently,” Lily said stiffly, and James rubbed her arm soothingly, feeling her relax slightly as he did so.

**“Taped to the note was a fifty-pence piece.”**

“Oh, friendly,” Lily said sarcastically, and the boys laughed.

“That’s not much, is it?” Remus asked, and Lily chuckled, shaking her head.

“No, it’s not.”

“Well, that’s rude, then,” Sirius snorted, “Why send a present?”

“It’s the thought that counts,” James said, and Lily smirked.

“I thought I told you that excuse would never work with you,” she said, and James’ jaw dropped as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

**“"That's friendly," said Harry.”**

“Ah, my baby,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

**“Ron was fascinated by the fifty pence.”**

“Funny how magical folk are _so_ fascinated by muggle money,” Lily mused, and the boys gasped.

“But it’s so _fascinating_ ,” James said, and Lily giggled, shaking her head fondly.

**“"Weird!" he said, “what a shape! This is money?"”**

“Yes, they all say that,” Lily laughed, as the three boys laughed at Rons reaction.

“Well, it is a funny shape,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged

“You ever considered that _wizard_ money is a weird shape?” she asked, and the boys threw her blank looks, “apparently not,” she mumbled, and James chuckled, kissing her shoulder.

**““You can keep it," said Harry, laughing at how pleased Ron was.”**

“Such a selfless little boy,” Sirius sniffed, winking at Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him,

“Shut up,” she said, and James shot Sirius a taunting grin from behind Lily’s shoulder, causing Sirius to glare at him.

**“"Hagrid and my aunt and uncle - so who sent these?"”**

“We did!” Sirius said, and Remus beamed, nodding.

**“"I think I know who that one's from," said Ron, turning a bit pink and pointing to a very lumpy parcel. "My mum. I told her you didn't expect any presents and - oh, no," he groaned, "she's made you a Weasley sweater.” Harry had torn open the parcel to find a thick, hand-knitted sweater in emerald green and a large box of homemade fudge.”**

“Molly!” Lily squeaked, beaming.

“That is _so_ sweet!” Remus said, grinning.

“I can’t believe someone would do that for a little boy,” she said, smiling like a loon.

“He _is_ Harry Potter,” Sirius said, but Lily waved that off

“But _still_ ,” she said, smiling.

“Well, James’ parents did that for me,” Sirius said, and Lily looked over at him, “They pretty much adopted me.”

“Really?” Lily asked, looking at James, who nodded, “That’s _so_ sweet,” she said, smiling, and James smiled slightly, running his hand through his hair, embarrassed.

“Aw, Jamie, it’s nothing to get embarrassed over,” Sirius teased, recognizing his friends’ actions, and James stuck his tongue out at his best friend as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“"Every year she makes us a sweater," said Ron, unwrapping his own, "and mine's always maroon."”**

“Is it just me, or does he sound bitter about that?” Sirius asked, and the others laughed.

“He sounds bitter,” James confirmed, and Sirius smirked.

“Aw, he’s bitter over the sweater mummy knit him!” he cooed, and they all laughed

“Well it’s understandable,” Lily said, and the boys turned to her, “We redheads cannot wear maroon,” she said, fingering her hair, and the boys laughed.

“Oh of course, how silly of me,” James said teasingly, and Lily giggled.

“Clashes horribly,” she agreed, and the boys laughed.

**“"That's really nice of her," said Harry, trying the fudge, which was very tasty.”**

“I want fudge,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Honestly, if I mentioned _any_ kind of food he’d want it, wouldn’t he?” se asked James, who chuckled and nodded.

“Most likely.”

“No fudge for you,” she said, and Sirius pouted magnificently

“Later?”

“Maybe,” she said, and Sirius beamed.

“Will you come with me?” he asked and Lily laughed, shaking her head.

“No, you can take one of them,” she said, gesturing to the boys, and Sirius bit his lip thoughtfully.

“I’ll go, I want fudge,” James said, and Sirius beamed.

“Oh no, Merlin help the castle,” Remus said, and Lily laughed as the two boys smirked self-righteously.

**“His next present also contained candy - a large box of Chocolate Frogs from Hermione.”**

“I want chocolate frogs!” James whined, and Sirius nodded.

“We’ll get some whilst getting fudge,” Sirius said, and James nodded happily

“Oh! He should open the Dumbledore one!” Remus said, and Lily sighed.

“He wont,” she said sadly, and Remus nodded solemnly

“Pity he go this fathers brains,” Sirius said solemnly, and James spluttered as Lily and Remus burst out laughing

“Pity,” Lily agreed, laughing, winking at James, who tried to glare at her but failed as she beamed at him and knocked the breath out of him.

**“This only left one parcel.”**

“From me?” Sirius asked weakly, and the other three shook their heads

“I don’t know _what_ is going on with you two,” James said, and the two boys shook their heads.

“You’d think we’d be all over Harry,” Remus said, and Sirius nodded in agreement.

“Well, apparently not,” James muttered, and Lily smacked his arm as Sirius and Remus automatically adopted guilty expressions.

**“Harry picked it up and felt it. It was very light. He unwrapped it.”**

“Did you really?” Sirius gasped, and the others laughed

“Is that what you’re supposed to do with presents?” James asked, and Sirius shrugged

“I don’t know mate, I just leave them on display,” he said, and James nodded seriously as Lily giggled.

“We should ask Moony, he knows these things,” James said, looking at Remus, who snorted as Sirius and Lily laughed.

**“Something fluid and silvery gray went slithering to the floor where it lay in gleaming folds.”**

The three boys froze.

“Is that what I think it is?” James asked quietly, and the other two shrugged, eyes wide.

“What?” Lily asked, and James shook his head.

“Just keep reading mate,” he said, and Remus obliged.

**“Ron gasped.**

**"I've heard of those," he said in a hushed voice, dropping the box of Every Flavor Beans he'd gotten from Hermione.”**

“Why is this girl sending them food?” Sirius asked, and James glared at him, “What? I understand you’re trying to figure out if what he was sent was what you think it is but _honestly_ ,” he continued, turning to Lily, “ _why_ is she sending food?”

“Well, what else so you send a boy?” Lily asked, and Sirius nodded

“Touché,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James chuckled mutedly.

**“"If that's what I think it is - they're really rare, and really valuable."”**

“Yes, they are,” said Sirius, and James smirked slightly

“WHAT, in Merlin’s name are you talking about?” Lily asked, furiously looking between the three boys who chuckled.

“Are you feeling left out, love?” James teased, and Lily glared at him as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Don’t worry Ginger-Flower, you’ll find out in a second,” Sirius said, and Lily huffed irritably, crossing her arms.

**“"What is it?" Harry picked the shining, silvery cloth off the floor. It was strange to the touch, like water woven into material.”**

James smiled slightly, sticking his hand in his pocket and feeling the material.

**“"It's an invisibility cloak," said Ron, a look of awe on his face.”**

“WHAT?” Lily screeched, jumping off of James and turning to look at him. He smiled.

“Yes?” he asked innocently, and both Remus and Sirius roared with laughter as Lily glared at James.

“You have an _invisibility cloak_?” she squeaked, her voice rising in octaves.

“How do you know he has one?” Sirius asked, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Because you lot basically confirmed it to me,” she said, and Sirius flushed as James and Remus chuckled, “show me,” she said, sticking her hand out, and James grinned, shaking his head, “JAMES!”

“No can do Lily dearest,” James said, grabbing her hand and pulling her back down in his lap, “You’ll have to wait and see.”

“No, I want to see _now_ ,” she said, and James snorted as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Fine,” he said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled the shimmery material out and handed it to Lily, who gasped as the silky material made contact with her hand. James watched as her green eyes widened in awe as she ran the material through her fingers.

“This is amazing,” she breathed, and the three boys beamed and nodded, “Where did you get it?” she asked James, who ran his hand through his hair, uncomfortable under her admiring gaze.

“Dad,” he said, “it’s been passed down for Merlin knows how long,” he said, and Lily grinned at him. She looked back down at the material and threw it over her legs, giggling as they disappeared, causing the boys to laugh.

“That’s wicked,” she said, lifting the cloak up slightly and looking under it at her legs, and then putting it back down causing her legs to disappear. The boys laughed at her childlike wonder and James wrapped his arms firmly around the giggling girl.

“Glad you like it,” James chuckled, and Lily grinned. She covered James’ face, and the two others burst out laughing.

“It’s headless James!” Sirius yelled, and James lifted his arms up, as if reaching to attack Sirius, causing them all to laugh.

“So _this_ is how you lot sneak around,” Lily said, and the boys grinned proudly, “That’s a bit of a buzz-kill,” she said, and they quirked eyebrows at her, “I mean, here I thought you lot had some super powers that enabled you to escape places unseen, but you’re actually a bunch of fools under a blanket,” she said, and the boys’ jaws dropped as she giggled.

“WE ARE NOT!” James said indignantly, pulling the cloak off his face so Lily could see his glare, and Lily giggled, kissing his cheek.

“Okay James,” she said condescendingly, grabbing the cloak from him and running it through her fingers. The three boys chuckled and turned back to the book as Lily continued to play.

**“"I'm sure it is - try it on!" Harry threw the cloak around his shoulders and Ron gave a yell. "It is! Look down!" Harry looked down at his feet, but they were gone. He dashed to the mirror. Sure enough, his reflection looked back at him, just his head suspended in midair, his body completely invisible. He pulled the cloak over his head and his reflection vanished completely.”**

“He’s gone!” Lily gasped childishly, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Honestly Lily, I think this cloak is bad for you,” James said, reaching for the cloak, but Lily snatched it out of his reach.

“Mine,” she said, and James rolled his eyes as the other two laughed.

“Actually, love, it’s mine.”

“It’s mine now,” she said, grinning cheekily at him, and James shook his head fondly.

**“"There's a note!" said Ron suddenly. "A note fell out of it!"”**

“Wonder who sent it to him,” James mused, watching Lily hide certain parts of herself under the cloak and giggle in response to them disappearing.

“Us?” Remus suggested hopefully, and Lily shook her head.

“Doubt it. If you never sent him anything I doubt you’d start now,” she said simply, and the two boys nodded sadly.

“Well, wouldn’t I have had it?” James asked.

“I know you believe you’re special James, but even _you_ cant send things from beyond the grave,” Lily said, and James nudged her playfully as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“Harry pulled off the cloak and seized the letter. Written in narrow, loopy writing he had never seen before were the following words: _Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well.  A Very Happy Christmas to you.”_**

“Why did you leave your cloak with someone else?” Sirius asked, and James shrugged.

“Dumbledore,” Lily said, and James and Sirius looked at her incredulously as Remus nodded.

“How do you know that?” James asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Narrow loopy handwriting,” she said simply, and both James and Sirius regarded her with impressed expressions.

“Use it well,” Sirius snickered, “Looks like he’ll get into the Restricted Section after all,” he said, winking at Lily, who gasped as James and Remus laughed.

“He wouldn’t!”

“He would,” James said, nodding his head, causing Lily to ‘harrumph’ angrily and hide under the cloak, causing the boys to burst out laughing.

**“There was no signature.”**

“Yep, obviously Dumbledore,” Sirius said and the others laughed.

**“Harry stared at the note.”**

“It’s not going to do anything else mate,” James said, and Sirius snorted.

**“Ron was admiring the cloak.”**

“It is very pretty,” Lily agreed, rubbing the cloak.

“I cannot believe you referred to my most prized possession as _pretty_ ,” James muttered, and Lily beamed at him as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Why are you _rubbing_ it?” Sirius asked exasperatedly, and the other two boys snickered.

“Because it feels nice,” she said simply, and Sirius shook his head fondly as James and Remus laughed.

**“"I'd give anything for one of these," he said. "Anything. What's the matter?"**

**"Nothing," said Harry.”**

“Lies,” Sirius coughed, and the others laughed.

“Wonder what could possibly be bothering him,” Remus said, and Lily shrugged.

“He did just get something from his deceased father,” she reasoned, and Remus nodded.

“I suppose that calls for strangeness,” he said, and Lily giggled as Sirius and James snorted.

“Deceased,” James muttered, shaking his head amusedly, and the others laughed, as Lily flushed, “ _Who_ uses such big words in everyday conversation?”

“Why, Jamesie, I do,” Lily said, and James shook his head fondly as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“He felt very strange. Who had sent the cloak?”**

“Dumbledore,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a glare.

**“Had it really once belonged to his father?”**

“Yes,” James said, nodding.

“And his father,” Sirius added.

“And my fathers’ father,” James said, and Sirius nodded.

“And his fathers, fathers, father,” he said, and JAmes smirked.

“And my fathers, fathers, fathers, father,” he said, and Sirius snickered.

“And-“

“No. More,” Remus said, slamming his hand over Sirius’ mouth, and Lily and James burst out laughing.

**“Before he could say or think anything else, the dormitory door was flung open”**

“And it’s Dumbledore there to tell him that he sent the cloak!” Sirius gasped dramatically, and the others laughed.

“No, mate,” James said, shaking his head, “It’s Snape, coming to give him a detention and confiscate the cloak,” he said, and the others laughed.

“I suppose both are incredibly likely,” Sirius agreed sarcastically.

“How would Snape know, though?” Remus asked, and Sirius and James shrugged.

“He probably has his ways,” James said, and Sirius snorted as Lily and Remus chuckled.

**“and Fred and George Weasley bounded in.”**

“YAY!” Sirius said happily, grinning.

“ _Now_ it’s Christmas,” James said happily, and the others shook their heads.

“I see you were both wrong,” Remus commented, and both Sirius and James shot him murderous looks as Lily giggled.

**“Harry stuffed the cloak quickly out of sight. He didn't feel like sharing it with anyone else yet.”**

“Fair enough,” James agreed, nodding.

“Your father didn’t show it to us until the second term of First Year,” Sirius said, glaring at James, who shrugged his shoulders.

“It was _mine_ ,” he said defensively, “And it’s a family thing, it felt personal.”

“Friends are personal,” Sirius said, raising an eyebrow at James as if daring him to challenge the statement.

“Yes, so is family,” James said, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Mate, we’re practically family.”

“We weren’t back then!” James squeaked, and Sirius huffed, crossing his arms.

“ _I_ thought we were family,” he sniffed dramatically, and James rolled his eyes as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“"Happy Christmas!"”**

“Happy Christmas!” James yelled.

**“"Hey, look - Harry's got a Weasley sweater, too!"”**

“A Weasley sweater,” James chuckled, shaking his head.

“I didn’t realize those were special only for Weasleys,” Sirius said, imitating James’ tone.

“You twats. It’s Weasley mummy made,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, “So obviously it’s a Weasley sweater.”

“Remus has a point,” Lily said, and both James and Sirius glared at her.

“Whose side are you on?” James asked, bouncing his leg so Lily dropped a couple inches, emitting a squeak.

“Remus’ obviously,” she said, rolling her eyes, and Remus beamed as James and Sirius glared at him.

**“Fred and George were wearing blue sweaters, one with a large yellow F on it, the other a G.”**

“Because they forget their names?” Sirius laughed, and the others joined in his laughter.

“I think it’s so everyone knows who’s who,” Lily said, and James snorted.

“What if they switch sweaters?” he asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Then they can just fool everyone,” she said simply, and the boys laughed.

“Look at you, developing the prankster mind,” Sirius sniffed, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

**“"Harry's is better than ours, though," said Fred, holding up Harry's sweater. "She obviously makes more of an effort if you're not family."”**

“I think everyone does,” Lily laughed.

“That’s just unfair though,” James said, “I mean, family is family!”

“Yes, so they’re more forgiving,” Lily said, and James rolled his eyes as his friends laughed.

**“"Why aren't you wearing yours, Ron?" George demanded. "Come on, get it on, they're lovely and warm."**

**"I hate maroon," Ron moaned halfheartedly as he pulled it over his head.”**

“I _knew_ he hated maroon,” Sirius said, laughing.

“And with good reason,” Lily muttered, tugging on her red tresses, and the boys laughed.

“Aw, Lily, do you have a grudge against maroon?” Sirius teased, and Lily shook her head.

“I have a grudge against my grandmum for passing me her bloody _auburn_ hair,” she muttered, and the boys burst out laughing.

**“"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name.”**

“I told you it was for name,” Lily said, and Sirius snorted.

“You said so _others_ would know their names,” he said, “Not that _they_ needed to remember,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Same difference,” she said, earning a confused look from Sirius and a lot of laughter from Remus and James.

**“But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."”**

The four of them burst out laughing.

“Gred and Forge,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head.

“Who would name their child _Gred_?” Remus asked, nose scrunched.

“Who would name their child _Forge_?” James asked, and Remus flushed.

“Right, I suppose Forge is worse,” he said, and the others laughed.

**“"What's all this noise?””**

“Christmas spirit,” James quipped, and Lily shook her head.

“I cannot wait until the Christmas portion of this book is over,” she muttered, and James pouted as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Couldn’t agree with you more, Lilykins,” Sirius said, and Lily scowled at him as James and Reus laughed.

**“Percy Weasley stuck his head through the door, looking disapproving.”**

“Naw mate, that’s just his face,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

“That’s mean Sirius,” Lily chastised half-heartedly, and Sirius winked.

**“He had clearly gotten halfway through unwrapping his presents as he, too, carried a lumpy sweater over his arm, which Fred seized.**

**"P for prefect!”**

They burst out laughing, shaking their heads amusedly.

“Is it just coincidental that there’s an alliteration on Percy and Prefect?” James asked, and the others shrugged, chuckling.

“If he gets Head Boy we’ll have to change his name,” Remus said, and the others laughed.

“To what?” Sirius snorted, “humungous bighead?” he asked, and the others laughed.

“I don’t think that’s a good name,” Lily said, and Sirius winked.

“I thought it was brilliant.”

“Exactly,” Lily said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped, causing Remus and James to laugh.

**“Get it on, Percy, come on, we're all wearing ours, even Harry got one!"**

**"I - don't - want” said Percy thickly, as the twins forced the sweater over his head, knocking his glasses askew.”**

“I _hate_ it when people do that,” James muttered, pushing his glasses slightly higher up his nose.

“Not going to stop mate,” Sirius sung, and Remus smirked as Lily laughed.

“Now that’s not fair!” James whined, pouting, “Lily!”

“What?” she asked innocently, winking at his insulted expression, as Sirius and Remus sniggered madly.

**“"And you're not sitting with the prefects today, either," said George. "Christmas is a time for family."”**

“Good boy,” Lily said, smiling.

“Oh Merlin, there’s two of them,” Sirius groaned, turning to Remus, as Lily and James laughed.

“I’m not as bad as _he_ is,” she said, jerking her thumb in James’ direction, “I simply agree that Christmas is a time for family,” she said, and the other two boys nodded as James scowled.

“What do you mean by you’re not as bad as _I_ am?” he asked, and the other three ignored him, “Lily!”

“Oh shut up James,” she said, and James’ jaw dropped as Sirius and Remus smirked.

**“They frog-marched”**

“Ribbit,” Sirius piped up, and the others sighed, shaking their heads amusedly.

**“Percy from the room, his arms pinned to his side by his sweater.”**

“I love doing that to people,” James snickered, and Sirius scowled.

“You _always_ do that to me,” he whined, and James smirked as Remus and Lily laughed.

“I know mate.”

**“Harry had never in all his life had such a Christmas dinner. A hundred fat, roast turkeys; mountains of roast and boiled potatoes; platters of chipolatas; tureens of buttered peas, silver boats of thick, rich gravy and cranberry sauce - and stacks of wizard crackers every few feet along the table.”**

“Hold on, need to wipe drool off my face,” Sirius said, and the others burst out laughing.

“Merlin I love Christmas,” James sighed wistfully, and the others snorted.

“Do you really James?” Lily asked, and Sirius and Remus burst out laughing as James flushed.

“We had no idea, mate,” Remus said sarcastically, and James stuck his finger up at him as Sirius and Lily laughed.

“There’s nothing wrong with liking Christmas,” he sniffed, and Lily smiled.

“Of course there isn’t James,” she said sweetly, and James frowned, unsure of whose side she was on, as Remus and Sirius chuckled.

**“These fantastic party favors were nothing like the feeble Muggle ones the Dursleys usually bought, with their little plastic toys and their flimsy paper hats inside.”**

The boys snorted.

“Pathetic,” Sirius muttered, shaking his head, “Why do we let you people have your own world?” he asked Lily, who gaped at him as Remus and James laughed and Sirius winked.

**“Harry pulled a wizard cracker with Fred and it didn't just bang, it went off with a blast like a cannon and engulfed them all in a cloud of blue smoke, while from the inside exploded a rear admiral's hat and several live, white mice.”**

Lily shuddered violently and the boys burst out laughing.

“Mice Lily?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded her head, eyes closed as if attempting to erase the thought from her mind.

“I _hate_ mice,” she shuddered, and the boys exchanged amused glances.

“And rats?” Remus questioned, and James smirked.

“And rats,” Lily agreed, cringing.

“Poor Wormtail,” Sirius whispered to Remus, who smirked

**“Up at the High Table, Dumbledore had swapped his pointed wizard's hat for a flowered bonnet, and was chuckling merrily at a joke Professor Flitwick had just read him.”**

“I want a bloody bonnet,” Sirius muttered, and Lily raised an eyebrow and reached for her wand, “NO! NO!” Sirius yelled, clutching his head, and James and Remus laughed.

“Then do not make useless comments,” Lily said, and Sirius smiled sheepishly before glaring at his two laughing friends.

**“Flaming Christmas puddings followed the turkey. Percy nearly broke his teeth on a silver sickle embedded in his slice.”**

“Well done House Elves!” Sirius and James cheered, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus sniggered.

“I love how much they hate us,” Lily said, and Remus snorted.

“They hate swots, Lils, not us,” he said, and Lily smiled at him.

“I am a swot,” she said, and James and Sirius chuckled

“That you are,” Sirius agreed.

“But you’re _our_ swot,” James said, and Sirius smirked.

“I wasn’t aware you were sharing her,” he winked, and James glared at him, tightening his hold on Lily, as she and Remus laughed.

“I’m _not_ ,” he said, and Sirius smirked.

“Shame,” he sighed, and Lily grinned at the furious James, kissing him on the cheek.

“It’s okay James,” she said, “I don’t like being shared,” she said, and James smiled at her.

“I wont share you,” he promised, and Sirius and Remus rolled their eyes fondly as Lily giggled.

**“Harry watched Hagrid getting redder and redder in the face as he called for more wine, finally kissing Professor McGonagall on the cheek, who, to Harry's amazement, giggled and blushed, her top hat lopsided.”**

“No way!” Sirius gasped. Remus’ eyes were wide.

“McGonagall is…drunk?” Remus asked confusedly, and the others laughed.

“Apparently,” Lily said, snuggling further into James’ arms, the cloak draped on her lap.

**“When Harry finally left the table, he was laden down with a stack of things out of the crackers, including a pack of non-explodable, luminous balloons, a Grow-Your-Own-Warts kit, and his own new wizard chess set.”**

“See Lily,” Sirius said, turning to the redhead, “Even an eleven year old has a wizard chess set,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“What happened to Lily’s mice?” Remus asked, predictably earning a shudder from Lily, causing the boys to laugh.

“Hopefully they all die,” she said, and then cringed, “What if they’re running around the castle?” she asked, instinctively pulling her legs off the floor and onto James’ lap. James chuckled and patted her knee soothingly.

“This is years into the future love,” he said, and Lily flushed as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“The white mice had disappeared”**

Lily shuddered, James chuckled.

**“and Harry had a nasty feeling they were going to end up as Mrs. Norris's Christmas dinner.”**

“YES!” Lily yelled, and the boys burst out laughing, “Yes you stupid cat! Eat the mice!”

“You know someone _really_ hates something when they’re on Mrs. Norris’ side,” Remus said, and the other two boys snorted in agreement as Lily flushed darkly.

“This is so embarrassing,” she muttered, and the boys laughed.

“That’s okay Lily,” Sirius said happily, as James hugged her tighter, “We still love you!”

“Well I don’t love you,” she said stiffly, and Sirius snorted.

“We’ve been over this love,” eh said, winking at her, “you love me.”

“I hate you,” she muttered, and James beamed, kissing her neck quickly before resting his chin on her shoulder.

**“Harry and the Weasleys spent a happy afternoon having a furious snowball fight on the grounds.”**

“We should do that,” James said, and Lily nodded along with Remus and Sirius.

“Maybe tomorrow though,” Remus said, stretching his arms over his head and looking out the window, “It’s dark out.”

“Is it really?” Sirius asked, looking towards the window, “Odd. What time is it?”

“Dinners’ in a half hour,” James said, looking down at his watch.

“Oh, well, fine then,” Sirius sighed, “we’ll have a snowball fight tomorrow.”

**“Then, cold, wet, and gasping for breath, they returned to the fire in the Gryffindor common room, where Harry broke in his new chess set by losing spectacularly to Ron.”**

Sirius and James shook their heads as if Harry’s loss was a personal insult to them.

**“He suspected he wouldn't have lost so badly if Percy hadn't tried to help him so much.”**

They burst out laughing.

“Ah Percy,” Sirius laughed, shaking his head, “pompous twats cannot play chess.”

“Exactly,” James chuckled, “it’s a rule of life.”

“But isn’t it usually the pompous twats who are good at chess?” Remus asked, and the boys shrugged.

“Not in this case, evidently,” James said, and Sirius snorted.

“Obviously.”

**“After a meal of turkey sandwiches, crumpets, trifle, and Christmas cake, everyone felt too full and sleepy to do much before bed except sit and watch Percy chase Fred and George all over Gryffindor tower because they'd stolen his prefect badge.”**

“That sounds like a really fund ay,” Remus sighed, smiling slightly.

“I WANT FOOD!” Sirius whined, and the others snorted, shaking their heads fondly.

“When do you _not_ want food?” Lily asked and Sirius pouted, clutching his tummy.

“I don’t crave it unless someone mentions it,” he said, sniffing, “and your stupid son mentioned it.”

“Do _not_ call my son stupid,” Lily said, glaring at Sirius, who nodded, cowering under her awfully hard glare, earning chuckles from Remus and James.

**“It had been Harry's best Christmas day ever. Yet something had been nagging at the back of his mind all day.”**

“The cloak,” James said, and the boys nodded.

**“Not until he climbed into bed was he free to think about it: the invisibility cloak and whoever had sent it.”**

“Knew it,” James said smugly, and the others chuckled.

“Brilliant mate,” Sirius said sarcastically, and James winked.

“I know,” he said, and Lily and Remus laughed as Sirius shook his head fondly.

**“Ron, full of turkey and cake and with nothing mysterious to bother him,”**

Sirius snorted, amused, “With nothing mysterious to bother him,” he chuckled, and the others laughed.

**“fell asleep almost as soon as he'd drawn the curtains of his four-poster. Harry leaned over the side of his own bed and pulled the cloak out from under it.**

**His father's... this had been his father's.”**

Lily turned around to see that James had his face buried in her shoulder. Sirius and Remus were tactfully pretending they didn’t see, and were talking to each other. She carefully ran her hand through James’ hair and his head snapped up. He looked at her and she saw that his eyes were shining more than usually, and smiled slightly, placing a soothing hand on his cheek.

“Don’t cry,” she whispered, and he nodded quickly, “Sirius will laugh at you,” she added, and James chuckled, wiping his eyes on her shoulder, his glasses in his hands. He placed them on his face quickly and smiled at her.

“It’s just…I cant believe I’m not alive for this…you know?” he said quietly, and Lily nodded sadly.

“But you will be,” she said, beaming at him, and he grinned at her. She leaned down and kissed his forehead lightly before turning around, “Oi! Remus!” she said, and he turned to her, “Hurry up will you?” she asked, and Remus grinned at her before opening the book.

Sirius caught James’ eye and nodded his head slightly, a worried look in his eye. James nodded, smiling. He nodded towards Lily, and Sirius grinned, nodding his head.

**“He let the material flow over his hands, smoother than silk, light as air.”**

James ran his hand over the cloak smiling.

“He’s ridiculously accurate, this child,” Lily muttered, running the silky material through her fingers, and the boys laughed.

“Just like me!” James said, and Lily snorted, shaking her head cheekily, causing him to pout magnificently as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“Use it well, the note had said.”**

“There it goes,” Sirius said, grinning devilishly. Lily groaned.

“Oh Merlin he’s going to do something stupid,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Yes Lily, he is,” James said simply, and she sighed, wrapping her arms around her tummy on top of James’ arms.

“What did I do to deserve this?” she asked, and the boys laughed.

**“He had to try it, now.”**

“Do it!” Sirius urged, and James laughed as Lily scowled at him.

“Careful mate,” Remus warned Sirius amusedly, “She’s going to kill you.”

“I’m so scared,” Sirius deadpanned, winking as Lily gasped, affronted, and the other two laughed.

**“He slipped out of bed and wrapped the cloak around himself. Looking down at his legs, he saw only moonlight and shadows. It was a very funny feeling.”**

“Don’t worry mate, you’ll get used to it,” Sirius said, and James laughed.

“Remember the first time _you_ used it?” he asked, and Sirius flushed as Remus laughed and Lily grinned in anticipation.

“What did you do?” she asked, and Sirius flushed further.

“He screamed, and almost cried because he thought his body was gone forever,” James said and Lily giggled as Sirius hid his face in embarrassment.

“I was _eleven_ ,” he whined, and the others laughed.

**“Use it well.”**

“Those are now my three favorite words,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

“He’s going to get it tattooed onto his being,” Remus said sarcastically, and Sirius grasped his chest dramatically as Lily and James laughed

“How did you know?” he asked, and Remus rolled his eyes as the couple continued to laugh.

**“Suddenly, Harry felt wide-awake. The whole of Hogwarts was open to him in this cloak. Excitement flooded through him as he stood there in the dark and silence. He could go anywhere in this, anywhere, and Filch would never know.”**

“And the Marauder emerges,” Remus said, and Lily scowled as Sirius and James grinned happily.

“I love that feeling,” James breathed, resting his chin on Lily’s shoulder, and she turned slightly to look at him, “knowing you can do _anything_ and nobody will know,” he said, and the other two boys grinned as Lily smiled at the happiness in his voice.

“Sounds thrilling,” she agreed, and the three boys nodded vigorously

“You should try it out sometime Lily,” Remus said, and Lily shrugged.

“You _have_ to!” Sirius gasped, and Lily laughed.

“Alright, fine,” she giggled, causing the three boys to grin manically.

**“Ron grunted in his sleep. Should Harry wake him?”**

“No,” James said quietly so only Lily could hear, and she grabbed his hand, squeezing slightly.

**“Something held him back - his father's cloak - he felt that this time - the first time - he wanted to use it alone.”**

James beamed, squeezing Lily tighter, and she smiled.

“Such a romantic father-son relationship,” Sirius sniffed, and James shook his head fondly as Remus and Lily laughed.

“He gets it from his parents,” Remus said, and the two in question flushed as Sirius barked a laugh.

“You have a point there, Moony,” he said, and Lily and James flushed darker, James smiling proudly.

**“He crept out of the dormitory, down the stairs, across the common room, and climbed through the portrait hole.”**

Sirius started to applaud, and they all turned to him questioningly, “what? It’s his first sneak out!”

“Oh, of course,” James said, and applauded with Sirius. Remus chuckled and joined in, clapping his hands. Lily rolled her eyes, before clapping politely.

**“"Who's there?" squawked the Fat Lady.”**

“I _love_ confusing that cow,” Sirius said, and Lily looked quickly towards the Portrait Hole.

“Shut _up_ Sirius, what if she hears?” she whispered, and Sirius shrugged.

“She’ll just glare at me,” he said, and Lily shook her head, muttering about tact, while James and Remus laughed.

**“Harry said nothing. He walked quickly down the corridor.”**

“That’s right, keep going,” James said, smiling.

“Don’t let the hag stop you!” Sirius yelled, earning himself a cushion in the face from Lily and laughs from Remus and James.

**“Where should he go? He stopped, his heart racing, and thought. And then it came to him. The Restricted Section in the library. He'd be able to read as long as he liked, as long as it took to find out who Flamel was.”**

Sirius sniggered madly, and they all turned to him again, once again adorning questioning expressions, “His first sneak out and he resorts to going to the library,” he said, and the others chuckled.

“He’s making up for being too much like James, and doing the Lily thing,” Remus said knowingly, and Sirius sniggered as both Lily and James spluttered.

“I take offence to that,” James said, frowning.

“As do I,” Lily said, crossing her arms. Both Sirius and Remus looked at each other, looked at the couple, and burst out laughing, causing the couple to flush darkly.

**“He set off, drawing the invisibility cloak tight around him as he walked.**

**The library was pitch-black and very eerie. Harry lit a lamp to see his way along the rows of books. The lamp looked as if it was floating along in midair, and even though Harry could feel his arm supporting it, the sight gave him the creeps.”**

Lily, Remus and James laughed. They looked over at Sirius when they realized he wasn’t laughing, and laughed even harder at his fearful expression.

“That’s _scary_ okay?” he hissed, and the two other boys burst out laughing, as Lily smiled at him slightly.

“It is scary,” she said, and Sirius smiled at her.

“Lily you’re my favorite,” he said, shooting nasty glances at his laughing best friends, and Lily laughed good heartedly.

**“The Restricted Section was right at the back of the library. Stepping carefully over the rope that separated these books from the rest of the library, he held up his lamp to read the titles.”**

“They don’t help much,” Lily said, rolling her eyes.

“That’s odd, you’d think titles _would_ help,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head as Remus and James laughed.

“Does that scare you, Sirius?” Remus teased, and Sirius glared at him as Lily and James laughed.

“ _Smashingly_ so,” Sirius said, and Remus stopped laughing abruptly, causing Lily and James to laugh harder and Sirius to grin proudly.

**“They didn't tell him much.”**

“Told you,” Lily said simply, and the boys chuckled.

“Trust Lily to know all about the library,” Sirius teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him, causing the three boys to laugh.

**“Their peeling faded gold letters spelled words in languages Harry couldn't understand. Some had no title at all.”**

“ _What_ kind of book doesn’t have a title?” Remus asked, looking insulted.

“Those that are stupid,” Lily said, rolling her eyes.

“I’ll say,” Remus snorted. James and Sirius burst out laughing, and Lily and Remus jumped, turning to look at them.

“I cannot believe you two are getting worked up over…over…over _books_!” Sirius managed to choke out, and Lily and Remus scowled at him. James was shaking violently under Lily, who smacked his arm, hard, only causing him to laugh harder, triggering more laughs from Sirius.

**“One book had a dark stain on it that looked horribly like blood.”**

They all shuddered.

“Where would the blood have come from?” Sirius asked, looking queasy.

“No idea,” Lily shuddered.

“Why would you damage a book by spraying blood all over it?” Remus asked, looking disgusted. James and Sirius exchanged a look, before they burst out laughing. Lily giggled along with them, as she noticed Remus’ cheeks darken slightly.

“I hate you all,” Remus muttered irritably, glaring at the three of them, who only laughed harder.

**“The hairs on the back of Harry's neck prickled. Maybe he was imagining it, maybe not, but he thought a faint whispering was coming from the books, as though they knew someone was there who shouldn't be.”**

“Well it’s true,” Lily shrugged, and the boys snorted.

“You’d be the worst person to sneak around with,” James teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him, causing Remus to laugh.

“Are the books actually whispering?” Sirius asked Lily, who shuddered slightly.

“They do whisper,” she said, nodding her head, and Sirius bit his lip frightfully.

“Was that just some cruel line to scare me?” Sirius asked, and Lily laughed.

“No, Sirius, it wasn’t,” she said, “I’m almost sure the books scream when you open them,” she added thoughtfully, “But I’ve never opened those books,” she finished and Sirius nodded, as James and Remus chuckled.

**“He had to start somewhere.”**

“Never before have truer words been spoken,” James said wisely, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“Setting the lamp down carefully on the floor, he looked along the bottom shelf for an interesting looking book.”**

“Tsk, tsk, young Harry,” Sirius chastised, shaking his finger, “You _never_ judge a book by it’s cover,” he said, and the others burst out laughing.

“Rather literal situation for a life lesson, don’t you think?” Lily teased, and Sirius frowned at her.

“What life lesson?” he asked cheekily, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“Lily, Sirius always judges books by their covers,” Remus said, and Lily smiled, “How do you think he gets girls crying after him? He chooses the messed up ones because their ‘covers’ are nice,” he said, air quoting the word ‘covers’, and Lily and James laughed as Sirius scowled.

“If only the fit ones were sane,” he sighed, “Only Lily follows that and she’s been claimed by James,” he said dramatically, looking pointedly at James, who chuckled. Lily flushed darkly, and Sirius winked at her, “Are you embarrassed because I called you fit?” he teased, and Lily flushed darker.

“Yes,” she mumbled, and James laughed, wrapping his arms more firmly around her as Remus and Sirius chuckled.

“It’s okay Lily, I think you’re fit too,” James winked, and Lily glared at him, causing him to grin cheekily.

**“A large black and silver volume caught his eye. He pulled it out with difficulty, because it was very heavy, and, balancing it on his knee, let it fall open.**

**A piercing, bloodcurdling shriek split the silence - the book was screaming!”**

“OH MY MERLIN!” Sirius yelled, face pale.

“The book is _screaming_!” Remus yelled, looking frightened. Lily regarded them with an amused expression and then turned to James to see him laughing quietly.

“Did I not warn them?” she asked, and he chuckled harder into her shoulder.

“My friends are insane,” he declared, still laughing.

**“Harry snapped it shut, but the shriek went on and on, one high, unbroken, earsplitting note. He stumbled backward and knocked over his lamp, which went out at once. Panicking, he heard footsteps coming down the corridor outside”**

“RUN!” Sirius and Remus bellowed, looking frightened out of their minds.

“Wait, it’s still screaming?” James asked Lily, who was laughing at Remus and Sirius, who were clinging to each other.

“Yes,” she said, grinning widely, “Think they know they’re cuddling?” she asked James, who burst out laughing.

“Who’s the couple _now_?” he asked Remus and Sirius, who frowned, before looking at each other, and jumping apart quickly.

“Get _off_ me!” Remus yelled, scrambling over to the other armchair. Sirius was shuddering, wiping off his arms.

“You were on _me_!” Sirius yelled, and Remus scowled at him. Lily and James burst out laughing at their squabbling friends, before breaking up the fight.

“Read,” James instructed. Remus shot Sirius one last dirty look before going back to the book.

**“- stuffing the shrieking book back on the shelf, he ran for it.”**

“Good boy!” Sirius yelled, and Remus nodded vigorously.

“You two are oddly calm, being his parents and all,” Remus said nastily as Lily and James laughed at them.

“He’ll be fine,” said Lily dismissively, “he has to learn.”

“Agreed,” James said, nodding his head.

“I hate them,” Sirius said bluntly, and Remus snorted.

“Join the club,” he muttered, and Sirius smirked.

“Will there be cuddling?” he asked innocently, and Remus glared at him, causing Sirius to snigger madly, as Lily and James laughed.

**“He passed Filch in the doorway; Filch's pale, wild eyes looked straight through him, and Harry slipped under Filch's outstretched arm and streaked off up the corridor, the book's shrieks still ringing in his ears.”**

“You know, Filch is one scary looking bugger,” Sirius said, and the other snorted.

“You _just_ noticed?” James asked, and Sirius flushed.

“Well, he was described very scarily,” he said, and James chuckled.

“So those detentions you served with him didn’t enlighten you?” James teased, and Sirius shuddered

“That man is disgusting both inside and out,” Sirius declared, and Remus smirked.

“You were inside him Padfoot?” he asked, and Sirius scowled as Lily and James burst out laughing.

“Sounds like an entertaining detention,” James said, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

“That’s disgusting,” Sirius said bluntly, shuddering, and the others laughed harder.

**“He came to a sudden halt in front of a tall suit of armor. He had been so busy getting away from the library; he hadn't paid attention to where he was going.”**

“Tends to happen when you’re running for your life,” James said knowingly, and the others laughed.

“Because you’d know oh so much about that,” Lily said.

“Sweetheart, I think you’re forgetting to whom you’re talking to,” he said, and Lily giggled.

“Right, sorry, my bad,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“Perhaps because it was dark, he didn't recognize where he was at all. There was a suit of armor near the kitchens, he knew, but he must be five floors above there.”**

“Oh, I know where he is,” James said, “It’s all good.”

“Oh _James_ ,” Sirius said dramatically, batting his eyelids at James, who rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed, “What would I do without you? You make me feel so _safe_!”

“Oh shove off,” James laughed, as Lily and Remus continued to laugh and Sirius winked at James continuously.

**“"You asked me to come directly to you, Professor, if anyone was wandering around at night, and somebody's been in the library Restricted Section."”**

“Bloody hell!” Sirius swore, jumping, “How did Filch get there?”

“Probably knows the shortcut,” James said.

“He doesn’t know it now,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted.

“And we’ve been gone for a while mate, of course he’d find it eventually,” he said, and Sirius sighed, nodding.

**“Harry felt the blood drain out of his face. Wherever he was, Filch must know a shortcut, because his soft, greasy voice was getting nearer, and to his horror, it was Snape who replied,”**

“Oh no!” Lily groaned, as the boys sighed dejectedly.

“Wait!” Sirius said, “He’s under the cloak. Snape wont catch him, will he?” he asked, and James cocked his head to the side

“I suppose not,” James said after a bit, and Remus and Lily let out the breaths they’d been holding and Sirius smiled happily.

“Snapes not going to find him,” he said gleefully, and James shook his head amusedly as Lily and Remus chuckled.

**““The Restricted Section. Well, they can't be far, we'll catch them."”**

“No you wont!” Sirius sung, and the others laughed.

**“Harry stood rooted to the spot as Filch and Snape came around the corner ahead.”**

“Why? They can’t see you!” James said, shaking his head.

“Yes, but he’s still perfectly solid,” Lily said, “What if they walk into him?”

“That could be a problem,” Sirius said, paling slightly, and Lily snorted as James and Remus chuckled.

**“They couldn't see him, of course, but it was a narrow corridor and if they came much nearer they'd knock right into him - the cloak didn't stop him from being solid.”**

“See,” Lily said, and the boys scowled at her.

“I had no idea you were so egotistical,” James said playfully, and Lily laughed.

“It catches,” she said, patting his hand absentmindedly, and James scowled as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“He backed away as quietly as he could. A door stood ajar to his left. It was his only hope. He squeezed through it, holding his breath, trying not to move it, and to his relief he managed to get inside the room without their noticing anything.”**

“It’s because you’re so scrawny, you can fit in tiny places,” Remus said knowingly.

“Just like your daddy!” Sirius said, and James scowled as Lily laughed.

“I’m not scrawny,” James said.

“Anymore,” Lily said, and James spluttered as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Lily!”

“What?” she said, grinning at him, “I can’t _lie,_ James.”

“I hate you,” he muttered, and Lily laughed.

“Well, in that case,” she said, attempting to slide off of James, who only held her tighter, causing Lily, Remus and Sirius to laugh.

“You suck at hating, mate,” Sirius said, and James stuck his tongue out at him as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“They walked straight past, and Harry leaned against the wall, breathing deeply, listening to their footsteps dying away. That had been close, very close. It was a few seconds before he noticed anything about the room he had hidden in.”**

“It would be so funny if he’d walked into Snapes room,” Sirius said.

“What kind of sense of humour do _you_ have?” Remus asked, looking disgusted.

“I meant funny in a morbid sense,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, “Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Remus mocked, and Sirius snorted as Lily and James laughed.

**“It looked like an unused classroom. The dark shapes of desks and chairs were piled against the walls, and there was an upturned wastepaper basket”**

“Why?” James snorted, and Lily rolled her eyes

“That’s what you focus on?” she asked exasperatedly, “the upturned bin?” she asked, and James flushed as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“It’s curious, okay?” he mumbled, and Lily giggled.

**“-but propped against the wall facing him was something that didn't look as if it belonged there, something that looked as if someone had just put it there to keep it out of the way.”**

“Oh! What is it?” Sirius asked curiously, and the others rolled their eyes, otherwise ignoring him.

**“It was a magnificent mirror, as high as the ceiling, with an ornate gold frame, standing on two clawed feet. There was an inscription carved around the top: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.”**

“That’s out of place,” Remus said, frowning.

“What did the top of it say?” Lily asked, and Remus sighed.

“Must I say that again?” he whined, and James and Sirius snickered as Lily smiled.

“You can write it down,” she said, and Remus sighed. He conjured up a piece of parchment and a quill and copied it down, passing the note to Lily, who caught it skillfully and opened it, frowning at the words.

“May I continue?” he asked, and Lily nodded, still examining the words, James looking at them over her shoulders.

“What are you doing?” James asked, and Lily bit her lip

“Trying to figure out what it means,” she said, and the boys nodded. Sirius rolled his eyes and muttered ‘swot’ before turning back to the smirking Remus.

**“His panic fading now that there was no sound of Filch and Snape, Harry moved nearer to the mirror, wanting to look at himself but see no reflection again.”**

“Crazy child,” Sirius chuckled, and Remus and James laughed. Lily was still frowning down at the paper.

“Are you even listening?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded.

“How are you doing that?” Sirius asked, and Lily laughed.

“It’s called multi-tasking,” she winked, “Don’t even try it, boys are incapable,” she said, looking down at the parchment, and the boys pouted as she smirked.

**“He stepped in front of it. He had to clap his hands to his mouth to stop himself from screaming.”**

“What?” James asked, frowning. Even Lily’s head had snapped up curiously.

“What was in the mirror?” she asked, and Remus shrugged, looking slightly frightened at the overt activity of his imagination and looked back down at the book.

**“He whirled around. His heart was pounding far more furiously than when the book had screamed - for he had seen not only himself in the mirror, but a whole crowd of people standing right behind him.”**

“Oh Merlin!” James gasped.

“Did all the teachers find him?” Sirius asked, looking slightly sick.

“No, then he’d say the teachers were behind him,” Lily said, and growled, looking back down at the paper.

“What’s wrong?” James asked, and Lily huffed.

“I can’t figure it out!” she said, and he looked down at it.

“Have you tried reading it backwards?” he suggested, and she glared at him, “What? It’s not like the letters are foreign or anything,” he said, and she frowned, looking back down at it. She conjured up a quill and began to write the letters backwards.

**“But the room was empty. Breathing very fast, he turned slowly back to the mirror.**

**There he was, reflected in it, white and scared-looking, and there, reflected behind him, were at least ten others. Harry looked over his shoulder -- but still, no one was there. Or were they all invisible, too? Was he in fact in a room full of invisible people and this mirror's trick was that it reflected them, invisible or not?”**

“Doubt it,” Sirius chuckled, as Remus and James laughed. Just then, Lily gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth.

“What?” James asked, and Lily dropped her hand.

“I figured it out,” she said, and the boys sat up straighter.

“What?” Sirius asked, “What it is?” Lily cleared her throat and read out what she’d written on the paper.

“I show not your face but your hearts desire,” she said quietly.

“So…the people in the mirror…” James said, trailing off, and Lily gasped, delicately placing her hand on her mouth, her eyes shining slightly.

**“He looked in the mirror again. A woman standing right behind his reflection was smiling at him and waving.”**

James’ arms tightened around Lily’s stomach as a tear seeped out of the corner of her eye. Remus and Sirius looked at each other and then looked at the couple solemnly before turning back to the book.

**“He reached out a hand and felt the air behind him. If she was really there, he'd touch her, their reflections were so close together, but he felt only air - she and the others existed only in the mirror.”**

A sob escaped Lily as Remus said that and Remus looked at her sadly.

“Lily,” he said gently, and she shook her head, wiping her eyes quickly. James turned her slightly so she had her head resting on his shoulder and her legs dangling off the side of the armchair, her face buried in his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck, hiding her face, and he rubbed her back soothingly, blinking quickly to fight off his own tears. It seemed stupid to cry over something like this, but as he looked at his friends, who looked upset, he realized it wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t stupid at all.

**“She was a very pretty woman. She had dark red hair and her eyes - _her eyes are just like mine,_ Harry thought, edging a little closer to the glass.”**

Lily’s body rattled with another sob, and James felt a wet spot right by his collar bone, and rubbed her back soothingly again as a tear escaped his own eyes.

“Hey, on the bright side,” Sirius said gently, trying to cheer Lily up, “Your son thinks you’re pretty,” he said, wagging his eyebrows, and Lily laughed through her sobs. Sirius smiled at the crying girl and ran his hand through his hair, smiling slightly to himself for having cheered her up.

“Boy obviously has good taste,” Lily’s choked voice came out muffled, and Remus and Sirius laughed, James chuckling slightly, wiping his face from the tears.

“You’ll get to see him,” he whispered to Lily, “I promise,” he said, and Lily nodded, wiping her eyes on his shirt, before sitting up, smiling at him. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were pink, but James still hadn’t ever seen anyone more beautiful than the girl sitting on his lap. She reached forwards and wiped the tears off of James’ cheeks before turning to Remus, smiling.

“Continue,” she said, and Remus smiled at her, before turning the page. Sirius winked at Lily, who grinned at him.

“For the record, I think you’re pretty too,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“Sirius Black,” she teased, “Are you taking a pass at me?”

“Maybe,” he winked, and then smiled at James, who chuckled, wiping his eyes slightly, “Prongs mate, are you _crying_?” Sirius gasped, and James snorted.

“No,” he said huskily, and the boys laughed.

**“Bright green - exactly the same shape, but then he noticed that she was crying; smiling, but crying at the same time.”**

“She’s not crying anymore,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“I still am,” she said, shaking her head, wiping a tear that had just escaped.

“Lily!” Sirius chastised playfully, and Lily giggled, leaning on James’ shoulder again, wrapping her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head quickly.

**“The tall, thin, black-haired man standing next to her put his arm around her. He wore glasses, and his hair was very untidy. It stuck up at the back, just as Harry's did.”**

James sniffed, and chuckled, running his hand through his messy hair, “It _grows_ like that,” he said defensively, and the boys laughed. Lily looked up into his face and brought her hand up to wipe his tears away.

“Don’t cry,” she said quietly, and James chuckled, reaching up to take Lily’s hand, holding it firmly in his.

“I’ll try,” he whispered, and she smiled.

“Try harder,” she said, and James squeezed her playfully, emitting a giggle from the girl.

**“Harry was so close to the mirror now that his nose was nearly touching that of his reflection.**

**"Mum?" he whispered. "Dad?" They just looked at him, smiling.”**

Lily and James smiled.

“Wait, Lily,” Remus said excitedly, turning to Lily, and the two of them turned to him, “What did you say the mirror said?”

“I show not your face but your hearts desire,” she recited and James grinned.

“We’re his hearts desire?” James said gleefully, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Don’t you feel _loved_?” Sirius asked dramatically, and James sniffed, wiping his yes dramatically.

“I do!” he said dramatically, and the other three laughed, “Don’t you Lily?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes, laughing.

“Yes,” she said, “I do.”

“Don’t you feel flattered?” Sirius said, wagging his eyebrows, “Your son thinks your pretty!”

“Yes, I do feel flattered,” she laughed, shaking her head fondly.

“You have competition mate,” Sirius said, winking at James, who sighed.

“I better not push it,” he said, “She’ll choose him.”

“That she will,” Lily laughed, and James pouted as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“And slowly, Harry looked into the faces of the other people in the mirror, and saw other pairs of green eyes like his, other noses like his, even a little old man who looked as though he had Harry's knobbly knees”**

“Grandpa Paul,” James said, nodding and the others chuckled.

**“- Harry was looking at his family, for the first time in his life.”**

“That’s…wow,” Lily said quietly. James’ arm tightened around her.

“Are you going to start crying again?” Sirius asked dramatically

“Sirius!” Remus hissed, and Lily and James laughed, much to Remus’ surprise.

“See,” Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes, “You have to cheer them up,” he said wisely, and Remus shook his head.

“That was insensitive,” Remus said bluntly, as Lily and James continued to laugh.

“Hey, insensitive is my middle name,” Sirius said, and Lily grinned.

“No, it’s Orion,” she said, and Sirius gasped as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“You know what, go back to crying, you were nicer to me then,” Sirius sniffed, and Lily giggled as James and Remus chuckled.

**“The Potters smiled and waved at Harry”**

“And Evans’s,” Lily said, glaring at the book.

“Sorry,” Remus said, holding the book up in front of his face, and they all burst out laughing.

**“and he stared hungrily back at them, his hands pressed flat against the glass as though he was hoping to fall right through it and reach them. He had a powerful kind of ache inside him, half joy, half terrible sadness.”**

Lily and James smiled sadly at the book.

“I would laugh so hard if he did fall through the glass and suddenly popped out here,” Sirius said, and Lily and James turned to glare at him as he sniggered madly, “What?”

“Way to ruin a moment Padfoot,” James said, rolling his eyes.

“I _told_ you,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, and Sirius pouted, causing Lily to giggle.

“Oh leave him alone, he’s trying to cheer us up,” she said, and Sirius smiled smugly at Remus, who gaped at Lily as James chuckled.

**“How long he stood there, he didn't know.”**

“That’s not healthy,” Lily said quietly, and James shook his head in agreement.

“He should go back to sleep,” James said, and Lily nodded.

**“The reflections did not fade and he looked and looked until a distant noise brought him back to his senses. He couldn't stay here; he had to find his way back to bed. He tore his eyes away from his mother's face, whispered, "I'll come back," and hurried from the room.”**

They all looked sadly at the book.

“Don’t come back!” Lily urged, “You shouldn’t! It’s not healthy!”

“How could it hurt?” James asked selfishly, and Lily sighed exasperatedly, the familiar sound causing him to smile.

“James,” she said, and Remus and Sirius grinned at her familiar tone of irritation, “He _cannot_ stare at a mirror all the time and brood for things that he cant have,” she said, and James pouted as if he were being told off.

“But-“

“No,” she said sternly, and James pouted at her again, causing her to crack a smile and Remus and Sirius to laugh, “You’re being selfish,” she said, and James nodded.

“I know,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“I want him to stay too,” she said, and James beamed.

“You’re having a very bad influence on her,” Remus said, chuckling, and James beamed.

“I try,” he said, and Sirius barked a laugh as Remus shook his head fondly and Lily slapped James’ arm lightly.

**“oOo”**

“NO!” Sirius bellowed, as Remus grinned cheekily and Lily and James laughed, “You _CANNOT_ steal my line!”

“Sorry, just did,” Remus said, winking, and Sirius growled at him.

“I will kill you in your sleep,” Sirius spat, and Remus pretended to gasp, before grinning cheekily and turning back to the book as Sirius muttered under his breath, the words ‘kill’, ‘arse’ and ‘rude’ occurring quite frequently, much to general amusement.

“Aw, Sirius, did Remus steal your pedestal?” Lily asked innocently, and Sirius glared at her as James and Remus laughed.

“I’ll kill you too,” he said, and James shook his head, wrapping his arms around her. Lily grinned at Sirius, who was looking at James with an affronted expression, “WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?” he exploded, and they all winced at the sheer volume.

“Er, mine?” James said, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at him before turning away dramatically, causing the other three to laugh.

“Shall I continue?” Remus suggested, grinning at Sirius.

“Sounds _smashing_ , Remmy-poo,” Sirius said, and Remus scowled, turning back to the book with annoyed expression as Lily and James laughed and Sirius smiled smugly.

**“"You could have woken me up," said Ron, crossly.**

**"You can come tonight, I'm going back. I want to show you the mirror.””**

“Harry,” Lily said disapprovingly, shaking her head.

“He’s eleven, leave him alone,” James said, and Lily shook her head fondly.

“I want him to go back too, but he cant waste away in front of the mirror,” she said, and James sighed.

“You’re right,” he said, and Lily smiled.

“I know,” she winked, and James glared at her as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“"I'd like to see your mom and dad," Ron said eagerly.”**

“I’d like to see you too Ron,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“"And I want to see all your family, all the Weasleys, you'll be able to show me your other brothers and everyone."**

**"You can see them any old time," said Ron. "Just come round my house this summer.”**

“Is that an invitation?” Lily asked amusedly and James chuckled.

“Subtle,” he said, and Lily giggled.

“Well done, young Ronald,” Sirius said, and they all laughed, “he put it in there very well.”

“He did,” James said, humouring his best mate.

**“Anyway, maybe it only shows dead people.”**

“Well thanks,” Lily said, rolling her eyes, and the boys laughed.

**“Shame about not finding Flamel, though. Have some bacon or something, why aren't you eating anything?"”**

“HES NOT EATING?” Sirius asked, livid.

“He apologizes to you,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, causing Lily and James to chuckle.

“I don’t forgive him,” Sirius sniffed, putting his nose in the air, causing Remus, James and Lily to laugh.

**“Harry couldn't eat.”**

“That is a problem,” Sirius said solemnly, nodding, and the others shook their heads fondly.

**“He had seen his parents and would be seeing them again tonight. He had almost forgotten about Flamel. It didn't seem very important anymore. Who cared what the three-headed dog was guarding? What did it matter if Snape stole it, really?”**

“This isn’t good for him,” Lily said, and the boys chuckled.

“It really isn’t,” James said, shaking his head, but smiling jovially

“What are you smiling at?” Remus asked, “Your son is giving up on life and you’re _smiling_?”

“He wants to see me,” James said simply, and Lily beamed. Sirius and Remus shook their heads fondly, smiling slightly. James had always been a very emotionally attached person, and they respected him for it.

**“"Are you all right?" said Ron. "You look odd."”**

“Such good friends,” James said, as the other three laughed.

“My friends say that,” Lily said, and Sirius snotd.

“Lily love, you never look odd,” he said, and Lily smiled at him.

“Thank you Sirius,” she said, “But I do always look odd,”s he said, and the boys laughed.

“I respectfully disagree,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“You haven’t seen me when I’m sleepy,” she said, and James chuckled.

“What are you like?”

“A troll,” she said, and the boys laughed, “My hair is _everywhere_ and I’m so grumpy it’s not natural,” she said, and the boys continued to laugh.

“Sounds like Padfoot every morning,” Remus said, and Sirius glared at him.

“What is it with you two and this war you’re having today?” James asked amusedly, and Remus sighed.

“I don’t know,” he said, “But I don’t want to lose,” he said cheekily, and James shook his head amusedly as Lily laughed and Sirius beamed.

“Bring it Lupin,” Sirius said, and Remus raised an eyebrow at him.

“It’s on Black.”

“It’s been on for a while,” Lily said, and James laughed as both Remus and Sirius turned to glare at her.

“You’re missing the principle, Lily,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted.

“Oh of course, so sorry,” Lily said, shaking her head fondly, as James continued to chuckle.

**“What Harry feared most was that he might not be able to find the mirror room again.”**

“I hope you don’t,” Lily sighed, and James patted her back soothingly.

“But you hope he does at the same time,” James whispered, and Lily sighed, nodding.

“Does that make me a terrible mother?” she asked quietly so only he could hear, and James chuckled.

“No,” he said, and she bit her lip, “I swear.”

“Okay,” she said after a second, snuggling into James, causing him to smile slightly.

**“With Ron covered in the cloak, too, they had to walk much more slowly the next night.”**

“No you don’t,” Sirius snorted, “Beginners mistake.”

“It works the same no matter how many people are under it,” James said, chuckling.

“He _just got it_ ,” Lily said, rolling her eyes, and the two flushed, “Leave him alone.”

“ _Make_ me,” James teased, and Lily raised her eyebrows at him as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“They tried retracing Harry's route from the library, wandering around the dark passageways for nearly an hour.**

**"I'm freezing," said Ron. "Let's forget it and go back."”**

“Shut up Ronald,” James said, and Sirius glared at him.

“Don’t speak to my minion like that,” Sirius said, and James rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Forgive me,” James said sarcastically, and Sirius shook his head, causing Lily and Remus to laugh harder and James to chuckle, “Please?” he begged, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“If you weren’t my best mate,” he said, and James shook his head fondly.

**“"No!" Harry hissed. “I know it's here somewhere."”**

“And he inherited his parents’ stubbornness,” Sirius said, and the couple turned to glare at him as Remus snorted with laughter.

“He has a point,” Remus said, and the two shot him nasty looks.

“I’m not stubborn!” the two said in unison, and then looked at each other with quirked eyebrows, before they burst out laughing, causing Remus and Sirius to shake their heads fondly.

**“They passed the ghost of a tall witch gliding in the opposite direction, but saw no one else. Just as Ron started moaning that his feet were dead with cold, Harry spotted the suit of armor.”**

“Such a wuss,” James muttered so Sirius wouldn’t hear, and Lily giggled.

“He’s cold James, leave him alone,” she said, and Sirius turned to them with narrowed eyes.

“Did someone say something about my minion?” he asked, eyebrows raised threateningly, and the couple shook their heads quickly, “Thought so,” he said, and shot them another look before turning away. The couple bit their lips to hold back laughter as Remus shook his head, letting out a snort.

“You’re way to attached to this kid,” Remus muttered, and Sirius glared at him, which Remus only shrugged off, grinning.

**“"It's here - just here - yes!" They pushed the door open. Harry dropped the cloak from around his shoulders and ran to the mirror.”**

“That’s not smart! What if someone else is in that room?” James chastised, but Lily huffed.

“James, he’s about to see you again, and _that’s_ what you’re focusing on?” she asked, and James flushed.

“Sorry dear,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as he grinned cheekily.

“Déjà vu,” Sirius muttered, and Remus laughed.

“It was a bin last time, wasn’t it?” he asked, and James flushed as Sirius and Lily laughed.

“I believe so,” Lily said, nodding her head.

“You married an idiot,” Sirius said, and James glared at him as Remus and Lily laughed.

“Thanks mate,” James said bitterly, and Sirius winked.

“Any time.”

**“There they were. His mother and father beamed at the sight of him.”**

James and Lily beamed, and Remus and Sirius shook their heads fondly.

**“"See?" Harry whispered.**

**"I can't see anything!"**

**"Look! Look at them all... there are loads of them..."**

**"I can only see you."**

**"Look in it properly, go on, stand where I am." Harry stepped aside, but with Ron in front of the mirror, he couldn't see his family anymore, just Ron in his paisley pajamas.”**

“Wait, no, that wont work,” Lily said, shaking her head, and the boys frowned at her.

“Because it’ll show _Ron’s_ desires,” Remus said in understanding, nodding his head.

“So Ron doesn’t get to see us?” James asked, and Lily shook her head.

“Lucky,” Sirius said, and James shot him a mock glare, to which he winked, as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Wonder what Sirius’ minion’s desires are,” Remus mused, and Sirius winked at him, causing Remus’ face to contort with disgust and Lily and James to laugh.

**“Ron, though, was staring transfixed at his image.**

**"Look at me!" he said.**

**"Can you see all your family standing around you?"”**

“No,” Lily snorted, “He doesn’t desire that, considering they’re all alive.”

“Touché,” Sirius said, “Wonder what he _does_ desire.”

“The repeated use of desire is making me uncomfortable,” James said, and the other three laughed.

“Does that word give you tingles James?” Sirius said, wagging his eyebrows at James, who shot him a dark look.

“No,” James said, and Sirius smirked.

“So if Lily whispered it to you right now-”

“Shut up,” James said, flushing darkly as Lily and Remus laughed.

“It wouldn’t _excite_ -”

“Padfoot,” James growled, and Sirius grinned cheekily as Remus roared with laughter and Lily coughed awkwardly, still grinning.

**“"No - I'm alone - but I'm different - I look older - and I'm Head Boy!"”**

Lily smiled knowingly. The boys looked confused. Sirius looked downright disgusted.

“MY MINIONS DEEPEST BLOODY DESIRE IS TO BE HEAD BOY?” he bellowed, and the other three burst out laughing.

“You must’ve been a brilliant influence, mate,” Remus winked, and Sirius growled at him.

“I am _so_ disgusted,” he muttered, and the others laughed.

“He doesn’t want to be head Boy, you idiot,” Lily laughed, shaking her head, “he wants to shine amongst his brothers,” she said, and Sirius’ mouth formed a comical ‘o’.

“That makes sense,” James said, nodding his head, and Lily smiled.

“I know,” she sung, and James shook his head fondly as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“"What?"”**

“Yes, thank you Harry,” Sirius said irritably, and the other three chuckled.

**“"I am - I'm wearing the badge like Bill used to - and I'm holding the house cup and the Quidditch cup - I'm Quidditch Captain, too!””**

“That’s something I can approve,” Sirius said stiffly, and the others laughed.

“Lily’s right, he wants to shine,” Remus said, and Sirius ran his hand through his hair. Suddenly, there was a manic laugh, and Lily, Remus and Sirius turned, alarmed, to look at James.

“What?” Lily asked, and James smirked.

“That’s _me_!” he laughed, “Head Boy _and_ Quidditch Captain,” he said, and both Remus and Sirius scowled at him playfully as Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as James began to dance, causing her to bounce up and down, “I’m quite a catch darling,” he said, winking at Lily, who shook her head fondly as Remus and Sirius burst out laughing.

“You don’t want to lose him,” Sirius said sarcastically, and Lily laughed as James stuck his tongue out at his best mate.

**“Ron tore his eyes away from this splendid sight to look excitedly at Harry.**

**"Do you think this mirror shows the future?"”**

They all snorted.

“Yes, because we’re going to be resurrected,” Lily said, and James laughed.

“If only,” he said, and the others chuckled.

**“"How can it? All my family are dead - let me have another look -"**

**"You had it to yourself all last night, give me a bit more time!"”**

“That’s not fair,” Remus said, frowning, “He’s seeing his family, you’re just seeing a fantasy!”

“So is Harry,” Lily said, and Remus sighed.

“But that’s _different_! He’s seeing his _dead family_ who he’s _never met_!”

“And Ronald’s seeing something selfish,” Sirius finished, nodding his head.

“Are you _against_ Ronald?” Lily gasped, and Sirius rolled his eyes, fighting a smile, as James and Remus laughed.

**“"You're only holding the Quidditch cup, what's interesting about that? I want to see my parents!"”**

“See,” Remus said, and Lily nodded

“It makes sense,” she said, “But desires are desires, are they not.”

“Stop. Saying. That. Word,” James said, and Lily grinned at him as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“Is it _bothering_ you?” Sirius asked innocently, and James glared at him as Lily and Remus sniggered.

**“"Don't push me -" A sudden noise outside in the corridor put an end to their discussion.  They hadn't realized how loudly they had been talkingt”**

“Idiots,” Sirius chuckled gleefully.

“Why are you so happy?” Lily asked, looking pale.

“Because there’s no fun if nobody gets caught,” he said, “Or if you don’t almost get caught,” he said, and the others chuckled.

“I’d prefer it if they didn’t get caught,” Lily said, and Sirius sighed.

“Ginger-Flower, where is your sense of adventure? The love for risk?” he asked dramatically, and Lily giggled, shaking her head, as James and Remus guffawed at their friends’ incredulity.

**“"Quick!" Ron threw the cloak back over them as the luminous eyes of Mrs. Norris came round the door.”**

“I _hate_ that cat,” Sirius muttered, and the others nodded.

**“Ron and Harry stood quite still, both thinking the same thing - did the cloak work on cats?”**

“I don’t think so, actually,” James said, and the boys grimaced.

“Really?” Lily asked, turning to James, her eyes burning with curiosity.

“We don’t think it does,” Remus said, “Because Mrs. Norris _always_ looks right at us.”

“It’s scary,” Sirius said, and the other two boys nodded.

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” Lily gasped, and Sirius snorted, fighting a smile, as James and Remus laughed.

**“After what seemed an age, she turned and left.”**

“Kick her!” Sirius urged, and the others laughed.

“Naw, then someone will know for _sure_ they were there,” Lily said, and Sirius sighed.

“Bloody logic,” he muttered, and the others laughed.

**“"This isn't safe - she might have gone for Filch, I bet she heard us. Come on." And Ron pulled Harry out of the room.”**

“Thank you Ronald,” Lily said quietly. James rubbed her arm soothingly.

Remus opened his mouth, and then sighed, “Mate,” he said, turning to Sirius, who turned to him, “Shall we sing together?” he said, and Sirius beamed at him.

“YES!” Sirius said happily, grinning, and Remus shook his head fondly. Lily and James beamed as Sirius and Remus bickered about how to time things perfectly.

“They’d make the cutest couple,” Lily said, and James snorted.

“If only they both fancied boys,” he said, and Lily nodded, giggling.

“How are you so sure?” Lily asked, and James chuckled.

“I’m sure,” he said, “Trust me,” he said, and Lily nodded, smiling.

**“oOo”**

“THAT WAS THE BEST SINGING EVER!” Sirius yelled, holding up his hand for a hi-five. Remus laughed and held his hand up. Sirius slapped his hand rather hard, causing Remus, as well as Lily and James, to wince.

“It was,” Remus agreed, laughing.

“We should RECORD!” Sirius said, eyes shining, and Remus shot an exasperated look at Lily and James, who laughed.

“And _this_ is why I never told you,” Remus said, and Sirius scoffed.

“Well you told me. So subconsciously you want to record,” Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes as Lily and James laughed.

“No,” Remus said, and Sirius groaned.

“Moony!”

“Absolutely not,” Remus said, shaking his head, and Sirius glared at him.

“We’ll discuss this later,” he said sternly, and Remus chuckled, shaking his head fondly.

**“The snow still hadn't melted the next morning.**

**"Want to play chess, Harry?" said Ron.**

**"No."**

**"Why don't we go down and visit Hagrid?"**

**"No... you go..."”**

“Snap out of it!” Lily said, snapping her fingers.

“What’s wrong with him?” Sirius asked, looking worried.

“He’s thinking about the bloody mirror,” Lily said irritably, and Sirius sighed.

“You can’t blame him,” James said, and Lily shook her head.

“I know that,” she said, “But _still_!”

“I know,” James said soothingly, and Lily huffed, collapsing on James’ shoulder again.

“I hate your son,” she muttered, and James chuckled as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“So he’s my son again?”

“Yep,” Lily said simply, and James shook his head fondly, stroking her hair.

**“"I know what you're thinking about, Harry, that mirror. Don't go back tonight."”**

“Ronald Weasley you are my favorite person right now,” Lily said, and James gasped as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Lily!”

“What?” she teased, grinning at him

“I’m _hurt_ ,” he said, sniffing, and Lily shrugged.

“I know,” she giggled, intertwining her fingers with his, and James sighed, shaking his head, knowing she’d win anyway. Sirius and Remus snickered as they saw James crumble at Lily’s hands, and exchanged an amused glance.

**“"Why not?"**

**"I dunno, I've just got a bad feeling about it - and anyway, you've had too many close shaves already. Filch, Snape, and Mrs. Norris are wandering around. So what if they can't see you? What if they walk into you? What if you knock something over?"**

**"You sound like Hermione."”**

“That’s low,” Sirius said, as Remus, Lily and James laughed.

“I thought you liked her,” Lily said, and Sirius swore.

“I keep forgetting I like her now,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus laughed and Sirius grinned sheepishly.

“I wish he listened to Ron more often,” Lily said, and James chuckled.

“What makes you think he wont?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Because he’s _your_ son,” she said, and James nodded.

“Aye, that may prove a problem in the obedience category,” he said, eyes twinkling, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius chuckled.

**"I'm serious, Harry, don't go." But Harry only had one thought in his head, which was to get back in front of the mirror, and Ron wasn't going to stop him.”**

“I hate you,” Lily said, slapping James’ arm, and James chuckled, kissing the top of her head.

“You must’ve known this before you married me,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Not to mention procreating,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at his suggestive expression as James coughed uncomfortably, chuckling huskily at Lily’s reddened skin, and Remus snorted with laughter.

**“That third night he found his way more quickly than before. He was walking so fast he knew he was making more noise than was wise, but he didn't meet anyone.”**

“Stupid boy,” Lily muttered, and Sirius grinned.

“It was _your_ choice to procreate with-“

“WHY are you so irritating today?” Lily asked, as James and Remus roared with laughter at Sirius’ mouth, which had now been transfigured into a zipper. Sirius pulled his wand out and flicked it, his mouth changing back to normal, and looked at lily with an aghast expression.

“LILY!”

“Yes, yes, I’m annoying, you’re hurt, thought we were friends, the usual,” Lily said in a bored voice, grinning cheekily at Sirius, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as Remus and James roared with laughter

“Lily Claire Evans!”

“I love you too Sirius,” she grinned, and Sirius’ mouth closed, morphing into a self-satisfied smile.

“Knew it,” he said happily turning away from her. She rolled her eyes at James, who chucked and kissed the top of her head.

**“And there were his mother and father smiling at him again, and one of his grandfathers nodding happily.”**

They all laughed.

“Why is he nodding?” Sirius asked, and the others shrugged.

“Grandpa Paul nods when he’s happy,” James said, and the others laughed

“I suppose that’s what it is then,” Sirius chuckled.

“Do you two ever stop _smiling_?” Remus asked exasperatedly, and the other three burst out laughing, “You’re smiling _every time_ he gets there!”

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe we start smiling when he gets there?” Lily asked, and Remus flushed, causing the others to laugh.

**“Harry sank down to sit on the floor in front of the mirror. There was nothing to stop him from staying here all night with his family. Nothing at all.”**

“Harry Potter,” Lily said sternly, and James smirked, “Get _back_ to your dormitory this instant!”

“Practicing, love?” Sirius teased, and Lily glared at him, effectively shutting him up, only causing Remus and James to snigger madly.

“Not to mention the fact that he needs his sleep,” Remus said, and Lily nodded furiously.

“This isn’t healthy! He can’t waste away in front of a mirror!”

“Wouldn’t that keep him well groomed though?” Sirius piped up, and Lily’s lips twitched with laughter as James and Remus burst out laughing.

**“Except –**

**"So - back again, Harry?"”**

“OH NO!” Sirius gasped, “WHO IS IT?”

James snorted, “Only one person would be so mysterious,” he said, trailing off, and they all chuckled, exchanging knowing glances.

“Dumbledore.”

**“Harry felt as though his insides had turned to ice. He looked behind him. Sitting on one of the desks by the wall was none other than Albus Dumbledore. Harry must have walked straight past him, so desperate to get to the mirror he hadn't noticed him.”**

“He’s not that hard to miss,” Remus said, looking concerned, “Maybe he needs new glasses?”

“You twat,” James said, as Lily and Sirius laughed, “Dumbledore can hide if he wants to.”

“Using a spell, not behind a desk or something,” Lily said, rolling her eyes at the ludicrous image of Albus Dumbledore ducking behind a desk, hiding from an eleven year old.

**“" -- I didn't see you, sir."**

**"Strange how nearsighted being invisible can make you," said Dumbledore, and Harry was relieved to see that he was smiling.”**

“Oh you wouldn’t have gotten in trouble, calm down,” Lilys aid, shaking her head, and the boys laughed.

“If it was Snape on the other hand…” Remus said, and Lily winced as Sirius and James chuckled morbidly.

“That could’ve been messy,” James said, nodding his head.

**“"So," said Dumbledore, slipping off the desk to sit on the floor with Harry,”**

“He’s sitting on the floor with Harry?” Sirius asked, eyebrows high on his forehead.

“‘Course he is,” James said jovially, “This is Dumbledore we’re talking about”

“Yes, he’s amazing,” lily said, grinning. The four of them chuckled as Phoenix cry sounded through the grounds and Lily shook her head fondly.

“Look at you, all loyal,” James said, nudging Lily, who rolled her eyes, nudging him back, as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“"you, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised."**

**"I didn't know it was called that, Sir."”**

The four of them burst out laughing, “I’m sure that wasn’t his point,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head.

“He took on James’ role there,” Sirius said.

“Oh and what role is that?” James asked, his left arm around Lily and the other one holding her hand in her lap.

“To say the stupidest things under pressure,” Sirius said, grinning at James, who attempted to glare at his best mate but was distracted as Lily giggled.

“Lily!” he gasped, and she beamed up at him.

“What?” she asked innocently, and he narrowed his eyes at her. She just continued to grin at him, her eyes daring him to challenge her. He could hear Remus and Sirius laughing and chose to ignore them and admire the girl who had somehow become his, “Alright! I’m sorry! Stop _staring_ at me,” she squeaked, hiding her face in his shirt, and James laughed as Sirius and Remus chuckled.

**“"But I expect you've realized by now what it does."**

**"It - well -- it shows me my family -"”**

“He hasn’t figured out what it _does_ yet?” Lily asked, looking appalled, and the boys laughed.

“Don’t be too hard on the boy, he may have inherited Prongs’ brains,” Remus said gently, grinning cheekily at James, who glared at him, as Lily and Remus laughed.

“I suppose I can’t be too hard on him then,” Lily sighed, and James glared at her, and she grinned up at him.

**“"And it showed your friend Ron himself as head boy."**

**"How did you know -?"”**

“That’s pretty scary,” said Sirius, eyebrows high on his forehead.

“How does he know _everything_?” Lily asked exasperatedly, smiling slightly

“It’s infuriating,” Remus agreed, nodding his head, but smiling all the same.

“I love how confused Harry is,” James chuckled, and then glared at Sirius, who had opened his mouth, “Don’t you dare take a jab at me,” he said, and Sirius pouted, causing Lily and Remus to laugh.

**"I don't need a cloak to become invisible," said Dumbledore gently.”**

“Show off,” Sirius said bitterly, and they all laughed.

“Sirius! You cant call Dumbledore a show off!” Lily squeaked, and Sirius snorted,

“And why not?” he challenged, and Lily hesitated.

“You just… _cant_!”

“Oh, that clarifies things, thanks,” Sirius said cheekily, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him, causing James and Remus to laugh.

**“"Now, can you think what the Mirror of Erised shows us all?" Harry shook his head.”**

“Your hearts _desires_ ,” Sirius said, leaning towards James as he said the word, and James shot him a nasty look causing Lily and Remus laughed. 

**“"Let me explain. The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is. Does that help?"”**

“Not really,” Remus said, “you’d just say the mirror shows people what they want,” he said, and Sirius nodded.

“How different is that really from your hearts _desires_ ,” he said, winking at James, who shook his head fondly as Lily laughed and Remus chortled.

“It’s very different,” Remus said, “I mean, I want an ice cream, but that’s not the most desperate desire of my heart,” Remus said, but Sirius’ eyes had glazed over.

“Er, mate?” James said.

“Ice cream,” Sirius breathed, and James rolled his eyes as Remus and Lily laughed.

“Forget him Remus, I thought you did a good job explaining,” Lily said, and Remus grinned.

“Thanks Lily”

“ **Harry thought.”**

“Oh so Lily _did_ have something to do with the brain department then,” Remus said, and Sirius barked a laugh as Lily giggled and James glared.

“Why are you so mean to me?” James whined, and Remus grinned

“I’m on Lily’s side,” he said, and James turned to Lily.

“So you’re stealing my _friends_?” he asked, faux angrily, and Lily laughed.

“You caught me,” she sniffed, and James smirked as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“Then he said slowly, "It shows us what we want... whatever we want..."”**

“Ish,” Lily said, nodding slightly.

**““Yes and no," said Dumbledore quietly. "It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts.”**

Remus smirked at Sirius, who rolled his eyes fondly, causing Lily and James to laugh.

“I told you that you were good at explaining,” Lily said, and Remus grinned at her.

“Bloody charmer,” Sirius muttered, rolling his eyes, and Lily turned to him with wide eyes as James laughed.

“James!” Lily squeaked, and he grinned at her.

“Sorry love, it’s true,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“Even my good qualities are picked on,” she sniffed to Remus, who chuckled as Sirius and James snorted.

“What bad qualities do you possess?” Sirius teased, and Lily turned to him.

“She cusses, remember?” James said, and Sirius and Remus laughed as Lily flushed. She looked up at James, who winked at her.

“I’m breaking up with you,” she said, and made to get up, but James held her firmly in place.

“Don’t think so,” he said, and she stuck her tongue out at him, causing him to laugh.

**“You, who have never known your family, see them standing around you. Ronald Weasley, who has always been overshadowed by his brothers, sees himself standing alone, the best of all of them.”**

“I _knew_ it!” Lily said happily, and the boys laughed.

“Lily was right!” Sirius said

“Shocker,” James said, and Lily gasped as the three boys laughed.

**“However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible.”**

“THANK you,” Lily said, nodding to the book.

“Yes Lily, book Dumbledore appreciates your gratitude,” Remus said, and Lily flushed as the boys laughed at her.

“You’re all so mean to me,” she whined, and the boys grinned.

“Out of love,” Sirius promised her, and she huffed.

“If it makes you feel better, we don’t tease any other girls,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed.

“I feel ecstatic now,” she said sarcastically, and the boys chuckled.

“I knew you would,” Remus said, and Lily shook her head fondly as the three boys laughed again.

**“"The Mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow, Harry, and I ask you not to go looking for it again. If you ever do run across it, you will now be prepared. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.”**

Lily nodded happily, but she looked slightly put out.

“What’s wrong?” James whispered, and Lily sighed.

“He’s never going to see us again, is he?” she asked sadly, and James grimaced.

“At least we know he’s happy, yeah?” he said, and she nodded, blinking twice as much as usual, “and we get to spy on him through this book!”

“Oh, that makes us such good parents,” she said, rolling her eyes, and the boys laughed.

“You’re keeping an eye on your offspring. That’s good parenting,” Remus said, and Lily beamed at him.

**“Now, why don't you put that admirable cloak back on and get off to bed?" Harry stood up.”**

“It _is_ remarkable,” Lily said, rubbing the cloak again, and the boys laughed.

“I forgot that was on your lap,” James said, and Lily beamed.

“See, you forgot about it,” she said, “you should just give it to me.”

“Not a chance,” James said, and Lily beamed at him.

“Oh I know,” she said, “it’s just fun watching you look indecisive,” she said, kissing his cheek as Sirius and Remus laughed and James attempted to glare at her.

**“"Sir - Professor Dumbledore. Can I ask you something?"”**

“You just did!” Sirius said, and the others burst out laughing.

**“"Obviously, you've just done so," Dumbledore smiled. "You may ask me one more thing, however."”**

They all burst out laughing.

“I THINK LIKE DUMBLEDORE!” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James chuckled

“‘Course you do, Sirius,” she said, “You’re destined for greatness.”

“I LOVE YOU TOO!” he said happily, blowing her a kiss, and Lily giggled along with Remus and James, who were laughing at their friends’ dramatics.

**“"What do you see when you look in the mirror?"”**

“That’s a rather personal question,” James said amusedly, as Lily raised her eyebrows at the book and Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Nosy child,” Lily said fondly, shaking her finger at the book.

“I can’t believe he asked _Dumbledore_ what he wanted most in the world!” Sirius laughed, triggering Remus’ laughs as well. Lily and James exchanged amused looks before James sighed.

“So when we get married, can we keep them?” he asked her, and Lily laughed.

“They’ll have to stay out back,” she said, and James chuckled, pleased that she hadn’t cringed or anything of the sort at the thought of them being married.

**“"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks." Harry stared.”**

“Don’t blame you mate,” Sirius said, as the others looked at the book curiously.

“Who desires socks?” Remus asked, frowning.

“Now that just sounds naughty,” Sirius said, winking at James, who rolled his eyes as Lily burst out laughing and Remus shook his head fondly.

“I doubt that’s the truth,” Lily said.

“Why would he lie?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Why would he tell the truth? It’s private.”

“She has a point,” James said and Lily nodded.

“Oh Merlin, they agreed on something!” Sirius gasped, “It’s the _apocalypse!_ ”

“Shut up Sirius,” James mumbled, flushing, as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“"One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."”**

They all laughed.

“Okay Dumbledore, I’ll send you socks,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

“You wouldn’t!” Lily said, eyes twinkling.

“I will,” Sirius said, “as soon as we finish this chapter.”

“I dare you,” James said, eyes bright and Sirius rolled his eyes before holding his hand out to shake James’ hand.

“Does that make it official?” Lily asked Remus, who rolled his eyes, grinning, and nodded.

**“It was only when he was back in bed that it struck Harry that Dumbledore might not have been quite truthful. But then, he thought, as he shoved Scabbers off his pillow, it had been quite a personal question.”**

“Exactly!” Lily said, and the others laughed.

“And that’s the end of the chapter,” Remus said.

“Next chapter?” Sirius asked, and Remus looked down.

**“Chapter thirteen: Nicholas Flamel”**

“THEY FIND OUT?” Lily screeched, causing the boys to jump

“Apparently,” James said, rubbing his ears.

“Oh that should be exciting!” she squealed excitedly.

“Well, we’re not reading it until tomorrow, because we need to eat and then sleep,” Remus said, and Lily sighed.

“Fine,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

“Dinner!” Sirius yelled happily, and stood up agilely. The others followed more slowly, and Sirius grinned, “Be right back,” he said, sprinting up the dormitory stairs.

“Where’s he going?” Remus asked, and James smirked.

“Knowing him, it’s to get some socks,” he winked, and Lily laughed. Indeed, Sirius came down with a pear of recently conjured thick woolen socks and a box. He placed the socks in the box and waved his wand, wrapping it up beautifully, and then turned on his heel, linking his arm through Lily’s and marching out the Portrait Hole, James and Remus trailing behind, grinning in anticipation.

“Listen Lily,” Sirius said quietly, and she looked up at him to see him smirking devilishly, “Will you do something?”

* * *

“PROFESSOR!” Sirius yelled, marching up to the High Table and stopping in front of Dumbledore, who smiled, eyes twinkling

“Yes, how may I help you Mr. Black?” Dumbledore asked, as McGonagall watched Sirius with a stern eye, which eh ignored.

“I got you a Christmas gift, Sir,” Sirius said, placing the box in front of Dumbledore, “It will not cause any pranking damage, I assure you,” he said, and Dumbledore chuckled.

“Thank you Mr. Black,” Dumbledore said, and opened the box. For some reason, Dumbledore laughed good naturedly at the socks and smiled at Sirius, who grinned, winked at McGonagall, and walked back to his laughing friends.

“You’re insane,” Lily told him, and Sirius took a bow

“I try.”

“Well, I should turn in,” Lily said. She caught Sirius’ eye and Sirius smirked and nodded. Remus, who was obviously in on the plan, snorted into his food, but James didn’t notice.

“Hey mate, want to go ask McGonagall about that detention?” Sirius asked Remus, who chuckled and nodded.

“See you in the morning James,” Lily said, and James turned to smile at her.

“Night Lily,” he said sweetly. She grinned and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “Sirius told me to do this,” she said, and James frowned. She leaned in so her mouth was right next to James’ ear, and whispered one word, “ _desires_.”

“Come on mate,” Sirius said, appearing in front of James, who glared at him after he watched Lily saunter out of the Great hall, giggling.

“Come on…where?” James asked, and Sirius grinned devilishly, Remus laughing at his side.

“Back to the Common Room, you coming?” Sirius asked innocently, and James’ eyes widened.

“I, er, can’t,” James said, and the two boys sniggered.

“Come on mate, just stand up!” Remus said, and James glared at him.

“I’m afraid that wont be the only thing up if he gets up,” Sirius said, and Remus sniggered madly. James chose to ignore him, his face heating up.

“I’ve got an, um, problem,” James said, clearing his throat, and the boys sniggered, seating themselves.

“Need us to call Lily back to help you with it?” Sirius asked innocently, and James glared at him. Sirius kicked James in the shin and James slapped his hand, causing Sirius to laugh.

“Hey,” Remus said to a passerby, and they turned, “Who’s the Head Marauder?”

“James Potter,” the boy replied, and then with a nod kept walking, leaving Sirius and Remus with their jaws hanging open.

“You know,” James said to his shocked friends, “I may have a problem…down there making my standing up rather inappropriate, but at least I’m Head Marauder.”

* * *

**I just want to repeat something that I’ve said a lot, but feel the need to repeat and exaggerate: I never mean to be insulting.**

**I HAVE BELOW PUT DOWN A SHORT PLAYLIST OF SONGS that I was listening to whilst writing this chapter that reminded me of, well, the Marauder Era. Since may of you have asked, here’s a little glimpse into my musical Marauder thoughts (:**

  * **_Two Worlds Collide- Demi Lovato_** **(Just a general song about Lily/James-ness)**
  * **_I see the light- Tangled_** **(James and Lily)**
  * **_Womanizer- Britney Spears_** **(Sirius Black)**
  * **_Kaleidoscope- Joe Brooks_** **(James singing about Lily)**
  * **_Double Vision- 3OH!3_** **(The Marauders- minus James at some parts of course)**
  * **_My First Kiss- 3OH!3 ft. Ke$ha_** **(Marauders- SIRIUS BLACK ESPECIALLY)**
  * **_Real Thing- Boys Like Girls_** **(James and Lily’s newly blossoming relationship vibe)**
  * **_Say it Again- Marie Digby_** **(Lily)**
  * **_The Boys are Back- High School Musical 3_** **(Don’t Judge) (THE MARAUDERS)**
  * **_Stuttering- The Friday Night Boys_** **(TOTALLY James around Lily)**



**LOTS of Lily/James couple-ness in this chapter, for your benefit. Hope you liked it!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Have a great week everyone (:**

 


	14. Nicholas Flamel

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own any rights to the Harry Potter universe.**

* * *

When Lily walked down to the Common Room the next morning, in the process of tying her hair up in a messy bun, it was to see three amused Marauders looking at an owl that was perched on the back of the sofa.

“Whose owl is that?” she asked, and Remus chuckled.

“We have no idea but the bright red howler is addressed to you,” he said, and Lily’s face paled.

“Howler?” she squeaked, and the boys grinned, nodding. She almost ran to it and ripped the letter off the owls’ foot. The owl didn’t move, and she looked down at the handwriting, “Bloody Alice,” she said exasperatedly, and the boys laughed.

“What would she be yelling at you about?” James asked, and Lily flushed slightly, otherwise ignoring the question.

“Looks like she’s expecting a reply,” Remus smirked, nodding towards the owl, which was looking right at Lily. She sighed and looked down at the letter. It was now vibrating, and smoking slightly.

“I should go,” she said and, ignoring the boys’ protests, sprinted up the stairs of the girls dormitories, slamming the door of the sixth year girls dorms just as the letter exploded.

“LILY EVANS!”

The boys chuckled as the muffled tones of Alice screaming sounded down the stairs, James smirking as he vaguely heard his own name.

“Look how much trouble you’ve caused the poor girl,” Sirius said, faux sternly, clapping James on the shoulder, and James shrugged.

“She’s going to be so sour later,” Remus chuckled, and the boys laughed.

“YOURE JOKING! YOU, _YOU,_ ARE _DATING_ JAMES BLOODY _POTTER_?”

“Breakfast?” Remus suggested, coughing back a laugh as Sirius and James shook with restrained laughter.

“I’d rather listen to this actually,” Sirius said, sniggering madly.

“Same here,” James said, grinning.

“We can always call Jessie and ask her to deliver food,” Sirius said, and Remus sighed.

“I suppose we can,” Remus smirked, sitting down on the couch next to his friends and listening, grinning.

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?”

“Looks like the cats out of the bag,” Sirius sighed dramatically, and Remus burst out laughing as James glared at Sirius.

“If you ever-“

“Oh untwist your knickers,” Sirius laughed, grabbing the grinning James by the neck and rubbing his knuckles in his hair in a brotherly manner.

“LILY EVANS! IF I DO NOT RECEIVE AN ANSWER IN THE NEXT TWO HOURS I WILL _ACTUALLY_ COME OVER THERE AND HUNT YOU DOWN! DO YOU HEAR ME? DON’T YOU DARE GIVE ME A CHEEKY ANSWER FOR THAT, LILY CLAIRE! I CAN SEE THAT BLOODY SMILE ON YOUR FACE.”

“Charming friends Lily has,” Sirius mused, and the other two burst out laughing.

Just then, there was an explosion upstairs.

“Looks like the Howler’s done,” James said, beaming like a loon.

Lily walked down the stairs, bright red, and regarded the three boys who were attempting to look innocent, “How much did you hear?” she asked warily, noticing the cheery flush of their cheeks.

“We heard that you were fucking Sirius,” Remus said

“I thought we were keeping that secret!” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“So you heard everything?” she asked, disgruntled.

“Yep,” James said happily, jumping to his feet and walking over to her, grinning down at her, “Nice to know I have Alice’s blessing,” he said, ruffling her hair, and Lily slapped her forehead with her palm as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Bloody friend,” Lily muttered, throwing herself moodily on the sofa, and the boys chuckled.

“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” Remus asked, hiding a grin as James’ expression fell almost instantly, watching Lily as if his life depended on her answer.

“I don’t know,” Lily said, winking at Remus and Sirius as James looked down at the floor, frowning worriedly.

**“Dumbledore had convinced Harry not to go looking for the Mirror of Erised again, and for the rest of the Christmas holidays the invisibility cloak stayed folded at the bottom of his trunk.”**

“SHAME!” Sirius bellowed, looking scandalized. Lily rolled her eyes at Remus, but saw that he too looked slightly baffled.

“The son of James Potter not utilizing his invisibility cloak?” Remus gasped, eyebrows high on his forehead, “Well I didn’t see that coming,” he said with a drop of his shoulders, grinning cheekily at James, who was speechless.

“I-I don’t know what to say,” he spluttered, eyes wide. Lily giggled.

“Well that’s a first,” she said, and Remus and Sirius burst out laughing. Even James’ mouth twitched.

“Lily, you should understand that James’ cloak is like, like,” Sirius trailed off, and turned to Remus, who chuckled.

“About the same value as a broom,” Remus said, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Definitely more,” Sirius said, and Remus sighed, scratching the top of his head.

“Well I don’t know!”

“Shame,” Sirius said, and turned back to Lily, who was fighting a laugh, “Well, as you can see love, it’s very important to him.”

“Almost as much as you,” Remus said, and Sirius snapped his fingers as Lily flushed and James rolled his eyes.

“YES! Very good Moony,” Sirius said, clapping Remus on the back, and Remus chuckled, taking a mock bow.

**“Harry wished he could forget what he'd seen in the mirror as easily, but he couldn't.”**

The four of them smiled sympathetically.

“I’d be very angry if you did,” Lily said, and the boys chuckled.

“Almost as angry as James is about the utter disregard for the invisibility cloak,” Remus said, and James’ jaw clenched, causing his friends to laugh.

“It wasn’t disregarded,” Lily said, waving her hand.

“It was!” James hissed, and she raised her eyebrows at him as Remus and Sirius laughed, and James smiled sheepishly.

**“He started having nightmares.”**

“Why?” Sirius asked, flabbergasted.

“Because he saw James’ face,” Lily said, beaming at her boyfriend, who quirked an eyebrow at her menacingly as his friends roared with laughter.

“Who knows, it might’ve been your face that got to him Red,” James said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

“Actually,” she said, “I recall him describing me as a pretty young woman, or something of the sort,” she said cheekily, and James shook his head in a defeated manner as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“She got you there, mate,” Sirius said, clapping his best mate on the shoulder.

**“Over and over again he dreamed about his parents disappearing in a flash of green light, while a high voice cackled with laughter.”**

Lily shuddered violently. Remus, who was sitting next to her, put his arm comfortingly around her.

“That’s stupid,” Sirius snorted, and they all turned to him incredulously, “They don’t _disappear._ They’ll just kind of,” he dropped his hands dramatically, “fall over.”

“Thanks Sirius mate, that’s much better,” James said dryly. **  
**

**“"You see, Dumbledore was right, that mirror could drive you mad," said Ron, when Harry told him about these dreams.”**

The four of them laughed.

“Well that’s one way to go about it,” Lily giggled

“Yes, because that’s the only reason not to use the mirror,” Remus agreed, nodding his head, rolling his eyes amusedly.

“It’s like you’re stupid mate,” Sirius sighed, turning to Remus, “Being mad is the worst possible thing in this _universe_ ,” he gasped.

“Nice to know you’ve accepted your problems,” James said, and Sirius threw him a glare as James grinned cheekily at him and Remus and Lily hid smiles behind their hands. **  
**

**“Hermione, who came back the day before term started, took a different view of things.”**

“Oh here we go,” Sirius said dramatically, and Lily rolled her head to glare at him.

“And here _we_ go,” Remus muttered, and James smiled at him.

“Sirius, will you _make up your mind_ ,” she hissed, and Sirius grinned lazily at her as Remus and James smirked.

“I don’t know love, will I?” he asked cheekily, and Lily sighed, resting her head on Remus’ shoulder in defeat, her head bopping up and down as his shoulders shook with chuckles.

“James was right,” she sighed, and James’ eyebrows rose amusedly at the alien nature of the phrase, “You _are_ mad,” she said to Sirius, and Sirius gasped dramatically.

“She’s right,” said James, smirking, “I _am_ right,” he added, and the other three rolled their eyes.

“I am not mad,” Sirius said, ignoring his best mate’s statement.

“Yes Sirius, you are,” Remus said, and Sirius gasped dramatically once more. However, he gasped too deeply, resulting in a massive coughing fit, causing the other three to laugh.

“OI!” Sirius said, after recovering, red in the face, “I’m _dying_ and you just _laugh_?”

“Nobody likes mad people,” Lily said, and Sirius huffed angrily, crossing his arms irritably.

**“She was torn between horror at the idea of Harry being out of bed, roaming the school three nights in a row ("If Filch had caught you!")”**

“Typical,” James snorted, as Remus and Sirius snickered.

“Well, she’s right,” said Lily, and the three boys turned to look at her, James and Sirius mockingly and Remus with mingled exasperation and amusement.

“ _What_?” James spat, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“What if Filch _had_ caught him?”

“What if he’d found out about Nicholas Flamel?”

“That doesn’t _matter_! He can do that in the daytime!” she hissed, “He was roaming the school _at night_.”

“It’s not like Voldemorts parading the halls or anything,” James snorted, and Lily glared at him.

“What if a Slytherin had found him?”

“But a Slytherin _didn’t_ ,” James retorted.

“That’s not the _point_.”

“Then what _is_ the point?”

“Nice to know recent developments haven’t stopped the bickering,” Remus sighed, stretching his arms over his head, causing Sirius to laugh and James and Lily to flush slightly, smiling sheepishly.

“Moony, you know it would take an epic shift in the universe’s very _existence_ to stop those two from bickering,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted as the couple grinned at each other.

**“and disappointment that he hadn't at least found out who Nicolas Flamel was.”**

“Oh look at her, developing a rebellious side,” Sirius sniffed, wiping away a fake tear, grinning at Lily, who rolled her eyes.

“Does that bother you?” Remus teased, nudging Lily, who shoved him back, causing him to laugh, “Is that the best you can do?” he asked, and Lily glared at him as Sirius laughed. James, on the other hand, was eying Remus and Lily with an angry expression. **  
**

**“They had almost given up hope of ever finding Flamel in a library book, even though Harry was still sure he'd read the name somewhere.”**

“That’s because you _have_ ,” Lily said, leaning her head on Remus’ shoulder. James’ eyes narrowed in on the spot where her red hair met Remus’ black shirt. Sirius, noticing his best mates jealousy, attempted to shoot Remus a ‘look’.

Of course, being Sirius, nobody took him seriously, funnily enough.

“Is there something wrong with your face?” Remus asked, and Lily laughed, still leaning on Remus’ shoulder. Sirius’ good intentions were rendered useless as James huffed irritably and crossed his arms, an action noticed only by Sirius, who bit his lip, panicking slightly.

**“Once term had started, they were back to skimming through books for ten minutes during their breaks.”**

“What a ridiculous waste of a break,” Remus muttered, and Lily rolled her eyes, punching his arm playfully, “Oh, of course, sorry, I forgot you spend your breaks doing that,” he said, and Lily shoved him once again, causing him to laugh.

Sirius eyed James nervously, as James glared at Remus. Knowing his awfully jealous prone friend, Sirius decided he had to act fast.

**“Harry had even less time than the other two, because Quidditch practice had started again.”**

“Yay!” Sirius said happily, and Lily giggled, turning to look at James.

“Does that thrill you?” she teased, and James shook his head amusedly, eyes still burning with jealousy, not that Lily noticed.

“Absolutely,” James muttered, and Lily quirked an eyebrow.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, and James turned to look at her, eyebrows raised.

“Who said anything was wrong?”

“I was just _asking_ ,” she said, smiling at him, “You seemed…”

“What?” he asked harshly, and she frowned

“Well, put out for one,” she replied, and James snorted, causing her frown to deepen, “James is there something you’re not telling me?”

“No, everything’s bloody _spiffing,”_ he said bitterly, and Lily turned to Sirius, her face a question mark, to see him giving Remus a meaningful look. Remus coughed awkwardly, his face tingeing maroon as he looked over at James, whose jaw was clenched.

“Oh,” Remus choked out, and Lily frowned.

“What?” she asked, and Remus coughed once more as Sirius scratched the top of his head, suddenly finding the ceiling extremely fascinating.

“Nothing Lily,” Remus said, attempting to catch James’ eye.

“Can someone tell me what’s going on?” she asked, and Sirius laughed.

“That’s a first for you, isn’t it Ginger,” he said, eyes twinkling mischievously, “Not knowing something?”

“Shove off,” she muttered embarrassedly, removing her head from Remus shoulders and leaning against the arm of the sofa, glaring at Sirius. **  
**

**“Wood was working the team harder than ever. Even the endless rain that had replaced the snow couldn't dampen his spirits.”**

“I hate Quidditch Captains,” Sirius muttered, and James grinned, suddenly jovial.

“I love you too,” James said, and Sirius gasped, clutching his chest.

“You _love_ me?” he asked emotionally, his voice choked.

“Yes, I do,” James nodded, blowing Sirius a kiss, which Sirius ‘caught’ and held to his heart.

“Figures that I’d end up with a bloke who fancies his best mate more than me,” Lily said to Remus, who laughed, patting her knee comfortingly.

“It’s okay Lily,” he said, “I have to room with them.”

“I feel your pain,” she said, grinning at James who stuck his tongue out at her.

**“The Weasleys complained that Wood was becoming a fanatic, but Harry was on Wood's side.”**

“Oh good God,” Sirius groaned as James grinned proudly, “There’s another one,” he said darkly, and Lily giggled as James smirked, crossing his arms. Lily couldn’t help but notice how his biceps bulged as he did so, in plain sight because of his short sleeved, tight fitting grey shirt.

“If you could please stop undressing my best mate with your eyes, we can continue reading,” Sirius smirked, and Lily turned slowly to glare at him, her cheeks bright red, as James grinned at her flaming cheeks and Remus covered a chuckle up with a cough.

**“If they won their next match, against Hufflepuff, they would overtake Slytherin in the house championship for the first time in seven years.”**

“SEVEN YEARS?” Sirius roared, “That’s it, be mini-James, do the scary training thing,” Sirius instructed, waving his hands as if motioning for Harry to continue on with life.

“Why aren’t you reacting?” Remus asked, nudging Lily, who was looking down into her lap.

“What?” she mumbled, and James grinned. Remus nodded to him and James smirked, rising out of his armchair and switching seats with Remus, who chuckled and walked to the armchair willingly, flopping onto it. Sirius grinned in anticipation. Lily hadn’t noticed anything.

“You know, there’s nothing wrong with undressing your boyfriend with your eyes,” James said, and Lily’s head snapped up to see him grinning at her.

“What?” she spluttered, looking back at the armchair James had been in to see Remus grinning impishly, “Remus!” she squawked, and he smirked

“Sorry Lily,” he said, she huffed, turning away from him.

“As I said,” James said, “there’s nothing wrong with the mental undressing-”

“Shut up,” she said, pinching his lips between her thumb and forefinger, causing Sirius and Remus to snort with laughter and James’ lips to turn up, his lips thinning underneath her fingers, “Read,” she said sternly, and Sirius chuckled, turning the page as James carefully pried Lily’s fingers off of his lips, holding her hand captive in his even as she tried to pull them away.

**“Quite apart from wanting to win, Harry found that he had fewer nightmares when he was tired out after training.”**

“That’s a good reason,” Lily said, attempting to look anywhere but the handsome boy who was looking right at her.

“Mate,” Sirius said, smirking, “Now _you’re_ undressing _her_ with _your_ eyes,” he said, and James smirked, turning slowly away from Lily to wink at Sirius, who laughed as Lily flushed darkly.

“James!” she squeaked, and he winked at her, twisting around and laying his head down on her lap, his feet dangling off the end of the sofa. **  
  
****“Then, during one particularly wet and muddy practice session, Wood gave the team a bit of bad news. He'd just gotten very angry with the Weasleys, who kept dive-bombing each other and pretending to fall off their brooms.”**

Sirius grinned cheekily at James who glared at him

“What?” Lily asked, as Remus chuckled.

“Sirius does the same during practice,” Remus explained, and Lily giggled.

“That’s funny,” she said, and James angled his head to look at her.

“No it’s not,” he said, and she beamed down at him.

“Yes, it is,” she said, nodding her head, and he shook his head, looking back at Sirius.

“Hold on a moment,” Remus said, and they all turned to him, “What’s the bad news?”

“Probably that a twig snapped off a broom or something,” Lily said, and both James and Sirius turned to her, affronted, to see her grinning.

**“"Will you stop messing around!" he yelled.”**

“No,” Sirius said simply

**“"That's exactly the sort of thing that'll lose us the match!””**

“Hey mate, it’s your successor!” Sirius said happily, and James growled at him.

“Oh, scary,” Lily said under her breath, and James rolled his eyes up to give her a piercing look as his friends grinned.

**“Snape's refereeing this time, and he'll be looking for any excuse to knock points off Gryffindor!" George Weasley really did fall off his broom at these words.”**

“ _NO_!” Lily gasped, sitting up straighter, causing James’ head to bounce a little in her lap, but he was too furious to notice.

“They can’t do that!” he squawked, “You can’t let the _Slytherin_ Head of House referee a _Slytherin_ game!” he yelled, and Lily shook her head vigorously.

“He’s going to dock them points on purpose!” Sirius growled, punching the arm of the armchair.

“H-he can’t do that,” Lily said, biting her lip, “Can he?”

“We’ll just have to see,” James huffed, looking defeated.

**“"Snape's refereeing?" he spluttered through a mouthful of mud.”**

Lily winced, causing James to chuckle and rub soothing circles on her right hand, which he was holding.

**“"When's he ever refereed a Quidditch match? He's not going to be fair if we might overtake Slytherin." The rest of the team landed next to George to complain, too.”**

“Are you sure Snape knows _how_ to referee a Quidditch Match?”

“Does Snape know what Quidditch _is_?” Sirius snorted, and James and Remus sniggered as Lily sighed.

“Yeah,” she said, nodding her head, and the boys turned to her.

“Really?” James said, looking alarmed, “he knows what Quidditch is?”

“Of course he does,” she snorted, “Who do you think taught me about Quidditch?”

“At least he did something right,” James said, and Lily smacked his head playfully as Sirius and Remus snickered.

**“"It's not my fault," said Wood. "We've just got to make sure we play a clean game, so Snape hasn't got an excuse to pick on us."”**

“He doesn’t need an excuse,” James said bitterly, “he’s just going to pick on them for no reason because he’s a stubborn piece of-”

“I know,” Lily said gently, running her hands softly through his silky hair.

**“Which was all very well, thought Harry, but he had another reason for not wanting Snape near him while he was playing Quidditch...”**

“Oh,” Lily choked, stopping with her stroking of James’ hair, his eyes flying open at both her tone and the lack of hair stroking. He looked over at Sirius, who was looking sympathetically at Lily.

“Hey,” James said softly, and she looked down at him, hair hiding her face so only he could see the red rims of her green irises, “If he does anything, we’ll go over there right now and bust his arse, okay?” he said, and Lily giggled, causing the three boys to smile.

**“The rest of the team hung back to talk to one another as usual at the end of practice,”**

“Yes they do,” Sirius nodded, “To complain about the Captain,” he added, winking at James, who snorted.

“They don’t complain about me,” he said

“Yeah mate, they do,” Sirius said, and James pouted.

“Do _you_ complain about me?”

“Yes,” Sirius said, and James pretended to cry, “But it’s affectionate complaining.”

“Oh _Padfoot_!” James said sloppily, and Sirius winked at him.

“I’m going to hurl,” Lily said, and Remus snickered as James and Sirius turned to grin at her.

“You’re welcome to join us,” Sirius said, winking at Lily, who flushed as James glared at Sirius.

“No,” James said, shaking his head, and Sirius sighed.

“But _Prongs_ -”

“No,” James said, shaking his head.

“James doesn’t share,” Remus said, and James winked at Remus as Lily flushed darkly and Sirius sniggered

**“but Harry headed straight back to the Gryffindor common room, where he found Ron and Hermione playing chess.”**

“See Lily? Even _she_ plays it,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly as James grinned up at her. He looked oddly adorable upside down, she noticed.

**“Chess was the only thing Hermione ever lost at, something Harry and Ron thought was very good for her.”**

The boys laughed as Lily clucked her tongue.

“This is why we need to introduce you to chess,” Sirius said to Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him.

“Don’t be such a…such a…” she said, frowning and Sirius smirked.

“Such a what?”

“A butt,” she said, and Sirius quirked an eyebrow amusedly as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“A butt?” Sirius said, and Lily flushed, nodding.

“Yes, a butt.” **  
**

**“"Don't talk to me for a moment," said Ron when Harry sat down next to him, "I need to concen-" He caught sight of Harry's face. "What's the matter with you? You look terrible."”**

“Honestly. They become better friends every day,” Lily said, rolling her eyes and James snickered.

“I think the mark of good friendship is to trust someone enough to take their insults as compliments,” Sirius said in a wise tone, and Remus snorted.

As Remus and Sirius bickered, James reached back and caught Lily’s hand, placing it back in his hair, smiling slightly as a grin flashed across Lily’s face.

**“Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.”**

“Sinister desire,” Sirius snorted, as the others chuckled

“This boy has an amazing way with words,” Remus agreed, and Lily giggled.

“He is _my_ son,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Someone’s becoming cocky,” James said and Lily sighed.

“It’s hard not to be when you’re as amazing as I am,” she said dramatically, and Sirius and Remus laughed as James grinned up at her. **  
**

**“"Don't play," said Hermione at once.**  
  
"Say you're ill," said Ron.  
  
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.  
  
"Really break your leg," said Ron.”

“Ronald!” Lily hissed, as the boys laughed.

“That was fantastic,” Sirius wheezed

“Even Hermione stepped up to it,” Remus said, and Sirius grinned proudly.

“Our little girl is growing up!” Sirius sniffed, and Lily snorted

“What do you mean _our_ little girl?” Lily asked, and Sirius smirked.

“I mean you and me Lily,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James stiffened. She grazed her fingernails on his scalp and felt the tremble that ran through his body, and grinned, nudging his back with her knee.

“I thought we were keeping her a secret,” she gasped, gesturing obviously to James, who rolled his eyes as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“I _knew_ you were fucking Sirius,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two laughed and James grinned cheekily up at her

“Always have been,” she said solemnly, and James nudged her playfully as she giggled.

“So Hermione Granger is Sirius and Lily’s secret love child?” Remus asked, and Sirius smirked.

“Yes,” he said, “one day when James was off at work I visited you see,” he said, winking at Lily, who shuddered violently, causing Sirius’ jaw to drop and James and Remus to burst out laughing, “LILY!”

“Sorry!” she giggled.

“Are you saying I’m not screwable?”

“No,” she said, “I’m just saying I wouldn’t screw you,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

“I’m so hurt,” he whimpered, turning to James, who rolled his eyes

“At least I’m screwable,” James said, and Sirius scowled at him

“YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF?”

“In this situation, yes,” James winked, and Sirius huffed irritably as Lily and Remus laughed **  
**

**“"I can't," said Harry. "There isn't a reserve Seeker. If I back out, Gryffindor can't play at all."”**

“Look at the mini-dedication,” Sirius sniffed, “It’s _adorable.”_

“Can you stop mocking my child?” James asked, and Sirius’ jaw dropped open as Lily and Remus shook with laughter.

“You are my hero,” Lily said sarcastically, laughing, and James grinned self-righteously as her fingers continued to weave through his hair.

**“At that moment Neville toppled into the common room.”**

“Toppled?” Lily asked, quirking an eyebrow

“Leg-Locker,” Remus said in a bored voice, and Lily groaned.

“Save those noises for the bedroom love,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed a violent shade of purple. James internally cursed himself as his mind wandered to places it shouldn’t be.

Sirius grinned.

**“How he had managed to climb through the portrait hole was anyone's guess, because his legs had been stuck together with what they recognized at once as the Leg-Locker Curse. He must have had to bunny hop all the way up to Gryffindor tower.”**

“Aw, poor Neville,” Lily said sympathetically.

“What do you imagine Neville to look like?” Sirius asked curiously, and Lily frowned, cocking her head to the side.

“Well, I’m pretty much convinced he’s Alice’s son,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

“So a mini-Alice then?”

“But he’s a boy!”

“And?” Sirius countered, and she rolled her eyes amusedly.

“Usually I’d fight you for that,” she said, “But Alice isn’t my favourite person in the world right now,” she said, and the boys sniggered madly.

“Did you ever reply that Howler?” Remus asked, and Lily’s hand froze in James’ hair, her face paling slightly.

“Didn’t she say she’d ‘hunt you down’ if you didn’t reply?” Sirius teased, and Lily groaned, ducking her head.

“Kill me,” she whimpered, and James laughed.

“No thanks I’d rather have you alive,” he said, and Lily glared at him, whacking his forehead lightly.

“Do you think she’ll actually come here?” Lily whispered, looking around fearfully, and the boys laughed.

“That would be entertaining,” Remus chuckled, and Lily emitted a frightened squeak.

**“Everyone fell over laughing except Hermione, who leapt up and performed the counter-curse. Neville's legs sprang apart and he got to his feet, trembling. "What happened?" Hermione asked him, leading him over to sit with Harry and Ron.”**

“No! Don’t bring him there…here…there…here?” Sirius said, frowning, cocking his head to the side. Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James chuckled. **  
**

**“"Malfoy," said Neville shakily. "I met him outside the library. He said he'd been looking for someone to practice that on."”**

“Because he couldn’t get it right in class,” Sirius said, and James smirked.

“Just like his father,” James said, and Sirius and Remus snickered as Lily smiled serenely, guiding her hands through James’ messy hair.

**“"Go to Professor McGonagall!" Hermione urged Neville. "Report him!" Neville shook his head.”**

James snorted, “No don’t do that, you’ll look like a coward.”

“I have to agree,” Lily sighed, nodding her head.

“See, if Ice Princess over here agrees then you shouldn’t,” Sirius said, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at him as James and Remus snorted.

“Ice Princess?” she asked Sirius, and Sirius grinned.

“You are awfully pale my dear,” he said, and Lily glared at him.

“It’s because I’m a-”

“Redhead,” Sirius said, grinning, “Explains your temper too.”

“Sirius Orio-”

“Can you just snog her already?” Sirius asked James exasperatedly, and James snickered as Lily spluttered and Remus coughed to cover up a chuckle.

 **“"I don't want more trouble," he mumbled.**  
  
"You've got to stand up to him, Neville!" said Ron. "He's used to walking all over people, but that's no reason to lie down in front of him and make it easier."”

“You _say it_ Ronald!” Sirius said, pumping his fist.

“Agreed,” Remus said in a detached tone, and Sirius smirked at him

“Mr. Prefect, are you taking sides?” Sirius gasped, and Remus rolled his eyes.

“Lily takes sides,” Remus said defensively, and Lily shrugged, causing Remus to gape and James and Sirius to laugh, “Lily!”

“It’s true,” she said, and James grinned up at her.

“I knew you weren’t a perfect prefect,” he said, and she scowled at his cheeky face.

**“"There's no need to tell me I'm not brave enough to be in Gryffindor, Malfoy's already done that," Neville choked out.”**

“Neville,” Sirius said sympathetically, “You’re meant to be a Gryffindor”

“Can we get this in writing?” Lily asked Sirius, grinning.

“You going to send it to Alice in your reply?” Sirius retorted, and Lily groaned, hiding her face in her hands as the three boys laughed.

“What reply?” James said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him as he grinned at her. **  
**

**“Harry felt in the pocket of his robes and pulled out a Chocolate Frog, the very last one from the box Hermione had given him for Christmas.”**

Lily squeaked loudly, jumping up and down, causing James’ head to jostle.

“What are you doing?” James muttered, holding onto his glasses as they threatened to fall off his face.

“Chocolate Frog!” she said, as if it were obvious

“Are you craving one?” Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow at her as if she were mad.

“No,” she said, rolling her eyes, “Honestly are you all that thick?” she asked, and Remus pouted.

“I take offense to that.”

“But you _are_ ,” she said, “Chocolate Frogs? Chocolate Frog Cards? The title of the chapter?” she said, as if they were supposed to have gasped with realization by this point.

“What’s the title of the chapter?” James asked, and Lily sighed exasperatedly, causing him to smirk.

“Nicholas Flamel,” she said, and the three boys widened, their simultaneity almost comical.

“THEY’RE GOING TO FIGURE IT OUT?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded, looking slightly alarmed at Remus’ outburst, as were his friends.

“Does the cracking of the mystery make you excited Moony?” James asked, and Remus grinned, nodding.

“Not as excited as it makes Lily,” Remus said, gesturing to the bouncing redhead.

“I’ve wanted to go to the library for this, okay?” she said defensively.

**“He gave it to Neville, who looked as though he might cry.”**

“Don’t cry!” Lily said sympathetically, features soft and pitying.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, “Suck it up! Be a man! Rub some dirt on it!” he looked over at Lily to see her giving him a deadpan look, “what?” **  
**

**“"You're worth twelve of Malfoy," Harry said. "The Sorting Hat chose you for Gryffindor, didn't it? And where's Malfoy? In stinking Slytherin." Neville's lips twitched in a weak smile as he unwrapped the frog.”**

Lily beamed, looking affectionately at the book, “Harry!” she said, her voice sounding choked.

“Enough with the waterworks,” Sirius said exasperatedly, “Honestly what is with all the tears?”

“Nobody’s cried, Sirius,” James said, quirking an eyebrow at his best mate.

“But there are crybaby’s _everywhere_!” Sirius whined, and James looked at Remus, who shrugged, rolling his eyes.

“It’s another one of those ‘let him mourn his ridiculous problems’ moments,” Remus said in an undertone to Lily and James, who grinned. **  
**

**“"Thanks, Harry... I think I'll go to bed... D'you want the card, you collect them, don't you?"”**

“YES!” Lily squealed, and the boys jumped, “YES GIVE HIM THE CARD!”

“Wow,” James said, eyes widening, “You _really_ want to know, don’t you?”

“No shit,” Sirius said, and Remus chortled as James flushed and Lily continued to squeal.

**“As Neville walked away, Harry looked at the Famous Wizard card.**

**"Dumbledore again," he said, "He was the first one I ever-" he gasped.”**

“YES!” Remus and Lily yelled excitedly.

“Oh look at him, figuring it out,” Sirius said sarcastically, wiping away a fake tear.

“Oh, so that’s whose been crying,” Lily said, and Sirius spluttered as James and Remus laughed.

“Men don’t cry,” Sirius said, and Lily grinned.

“Good thing you’re not a man then,” she said, and Sirius scowled at her.

“I assure you, Lily, that I am a man,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“No you’re not.”

“I’ll prove it,” Sirius said, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Oh really?”

“Let me take you up to my dormitory and show you,” Sirius winked, and Lily hid her face as Remus laughed and James shook his head fondly, reminding himself his best mates wouldn’t do anything.

 **“He stared at the back of the card. Then he looked up at Ron and Hermione.**  
  
"I've found him!" he whispered. "I've found Flamel! I told you I'd read the name somewhere before, I read it on the train coming here - listen to this: 'Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945,”

“I’ve always wanted to ask him about that,” James said, and Lily turned to look at him incredulously

“James don’t tell me _that_ is what you’re thinking about,” she said, and James grinned.

“Fine I wont tell you.”

“Good,” Lily said sternly, her mouth twitching with laughter.

**“for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood,”**

“DUMBLEDORE discovered that?” Remus asked, eyes wide.

“Remus! Focus!” Lily hissed, and Remus bowed his head.

“Sorry Lily.”

“And honestly Remus where have you been?” she asked, and Remus pouted.

“I didn’t know!”

“Well you should have,” Sirius said snottily, and Remus scowled at him as James and Lily chuckled.

**“and his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel'!"”**

Lily frowned, “ _alchemy_?”

“Yes that’s what it says, why?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head, frowning.

“No!” James said after a second, clapping his hand on her eyes, and she frowned deeper as Sirius and Remus regarded him as if he were insane, “Don’t figure it out by yourself!” he said, and Remus and Sirius’ faces dawned with understanding as Lily let out an irritated huff.

“Listen to him!” Remus said, “Or else you’ll make me feel stupid if you figure it out.”

“Nice to know you’re so selfless,” Lily deadpanned

**“Hermione jumped to her feet. She hadn't looked so excited since they'd gotten back the marks for their very first piece of homework.”**

Sirius coughed something that sounded distinctly like ‘swot’

Lily scowled at him.

He winked.

**“"Stay there!" she said, and she sprinted up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.”**

“Run away!” Sirius urged, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“What’s wrong with him?” she asked James in an undertone and James smirked.

“We’re going to get him checked,” he whispered, and Lily giggled.

“You make him sound like a dog,” she said, and James’ eyes twinkled curiously.

“He is,” he replied, and Lily laughed, not understanding the inside joke.

**“Harry and Ron barely had time to exchange mystified looks before she was dashing back, an enormous old book in her arms.”**

“Don’t tell me she has the library in her dormitory,” Sirius said, looking alarmed.

“Maybe she inherited Lily’s bed, and the library was stacked under there,” James suggested, and Lily whacked his forehead lightly as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“She’d be lucky to inherit my library,” Lily sniffed, and the boys grinned. **  
**

**“"I never thought to look in here!" she whispered excitedly. "I got this out of the library weeks ago for a bit of light reading."”**

“ _That_ is light reading?” James asked, eyebrows high on his forehead.

“Sure,” Lily shrugged, and James snorted.

“No it’s not,” he said, “Light reading is a Quidditch Magazine or something.”

“Well, I, unlike you, don’t read pointless magazines,” she said, and James smirked at her.

“They’re not pointless.”

“Yes they are.”

“Aren’t you a Quidditch fan?”

“No”

“Liar”

“Shut up!” Sirius said, turning the page violently, and Remus shook her head fondly as the couple smirked at Sirius.

**“"Light?" said Ron,”**

“See,” James said, looking up at Lily, gesturing to the book, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I wouldn’t listen to the oh-so-wise words of Sirius’ minion,” she said, and Sirius threw her an affronted look as James and Remus laughed.

“Touché,” James said, and Lily winked at Sirius, who huffed, turning away from her.

**“but Hermione told him to be quiet until she'd looked something up, and started flicking frantically through the pages, muttering to herself.”**

“She’s going mad,” Sirius said, and Lily scowled at him.

“No she’s not! She was concentrating!”

“Sure she was,” Sirius said, grinning.

“No, you’re right, she just got tired of your minions voice,” Lily said, and Sirius scowled at her.

“I know the feeling,” Remus agreed, and Sirius turned to him, aghast, as Lily and James laughed **  
**

 **“At last she found what she was looking for.**  
  
"I knew it! I knew it!"”

“If you knew it why didn’t you say it in the first place?” Sirius challenged, and Lily sighed.

“Must you keep picking on her?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“It’s fun.”

“She’s eleven,” she said bluntly, “and that makes you pathetic,” she said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as James and Remus sniggered.

“Actually, she’s not even alive yet,” Remus corrected, “So that makes it even worse.”

“Too right you are,” Lily said, and Sirius scowled.

“James!” he whined, and James held his hands up

“I’m Switzerland.”

“No, you’re James,” Sirius said, and James rolled his eyes fondly as Sirius grinned cheekily and Lily and Remus chuckled.

“ **"Are we allowed to speak yet?" said Ron grumpily.”**

“She’s going to say no,” Sirius said, and Lily grinned.

“No, she’s going to ignore him,” she said, and Sirius snorted.

“No”

“Yes,” she said solemnly, and Sirius grinned

“Bet on it?”

“Fine,” Lily said, and Sirius beamed.

“Now much?”

“I don’t gamble,” Lily said, and James sighed.

“Five Galleons,” he said, and Lily frowned at him, “he wont read until you bet some money,” James said, and Lily spluttered.

“But that’s a _lot_ of money!”

“I’ll pay,” James shrugged, and Lily frowned at him.

“You'd better, considering you suggested it,” she said and James grinned.

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

**“Hermione ignored him.”**

Lily grinned at Sirius, who snorted.

“I’ll give you the money later,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded.

“Isn’t it only fair that _I_ get the money?” James asked, and Lily shook her head.

“No.”

“But I was going to pay if you lost.”

“I didn’t ask you to say that,” she winked, “It’s still my bet.”

“She has a point,” Remus said amusedly, and James scowled.

“So I don’t get _anything_.”

“I’ll make Lily snog you later, happy?” Sirius said, and James smirked at Lily’s affronted expression.

“Ecstatic.” **  
**

**“"Nicolas Flamel," she whispered dramatically, "is the only known maker of the Sorcerer's Stone!"”**

“That was obvious,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Only because you already know that the book is about the Sorcerer’s Stone,” she said, and James grinned at her.

“Any idea what it does?” Remus mused, and Lily shook her head.

“No clue,” she said, and the boys sighed.

“Honestly,” Sirius said snottily, in a perfect imitation of Lily’s most irritated tone, “Don’t you _read_?” Lily glared at him, and he grinned cheekily

“ **This didn't have quite the effect she'd expected.”**

The boys sniggered. **  
**

**“"The what?" said Harry and Ron.”**

“The Sorcerers Stone,” Sirius said, and James chuckled turning to him.

“Thanks ever so much for that mate.”

“Yeah,” Remus agreed, nodding, “You really solved our problems there.”

“We were dying of curiosity,” James aid, and Sirius scowled.

“Bloody wankers,” he muttered, and James and Remus grinned at each other. **  
**

**“"Oh, honestly, don't you two read?”**

“That is definitely Lily’s minion,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“I’m proud my minion is so smart,” she said, “Unlike yours.”

“Oi!” Sirius said, as Remus and James snickered, “My minion is a _genius_!”

“At what?” Lily challenged, and Sirius gaped like a goldfish before turning away from her smug expression.

**“Look - read that, there."”**

“That’s so cruel. Making them read rather than just telling them,” Sirius said, and Lily smiled sweetly

“But how will they learn?”

“Oh shut it Red,” Sirius muttered, and Lily shook her head, grinning foolishly.

**“She pushed the book toward them, and Harry and Ron read:”**

“They can read?” Sirius gasped, and Lily glared at him.

“Do not mock my child,” she said, and Sirius grinned.

“I mock Hermione, and she’s _our_ child,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“Okay, just shut up now,” James said, “We find out what the stone is.”

“Sir, yes sir!” Sirius said, saluting, before looking down at the book as James rolled his eyes amusedly and Lily and Remus chuckled.

 **“** _The ancient study of alchemy is concerned with making the Sorcerer's Stone, a legendary substance with astonishing powers. The stone will transform any metal into pure gold. It also produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal._  
  
_There have been many reports of the Sorcerer's Stone over the centuries, but the only Stone currently in existence belongs to Mr. Nicolas Flamel, the noted alchemist and opera lover. Mr. Flamel, who celebrated his six hundred and sixty-fifth birthday last year, enjoys a quiet life in Devon with his wife, Perenelle (six hundred and fifty-eight)._ ”

“Metal into gold,” Remus gasped.

“Elixir of Life,” James murmured, frowning slightly

“Immortal?” Sirius stuttered, frowning

“It means you never die,” Lily said, and Sirius scowled.

“I know what it means-“

“Shh,” James said, waving his hand at Sirius, who stuck his tongue out at the grinning Lily.

“This isn’t good,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“Why would Snape want to be immortal?” James asked, cocking his head.

“Maybe…look maybe it’s not _Snape_ who wants to be immortal,” Sirius said, and they all turned to him.

“What do you mean?” Lily asked, and Sirius sighed.

“I mean, look, come on, Snape’s a Death Eater, are you telling me he can't be getting it for Voldemort?”

“But Voldemort’s gone,” Lily said, and James shook his head.

“Doubt it,” he said, “Remember what Hagrid said?” he added, and Lily sighed, nodding.

“So you’re suggesting that Snape’s getting the stone for Voldemort so Voldemort can become immortal?” Remus said, and Lily shook her head as James and Sirius nodded.

“Not immortal,” she said, “Maybe just to bring him back to life, it’d have the same effect wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah, that makes more sense,” Sirius said, nodding his head.

“This isn’t good,” Remus groaned.

**“"See." said Hermione, when Harry and Ron had finished. "The dog must be guarding Flamel's Sorcerer's Stone! I bet he asked Dumbledore to keep it safe for him, because they're friends and he knew someone was after it, that's why he wanted the Stone moved out of Gringotts!"”**

“It’s not Flamel who thought that,” Remus said, smiling fondly, “I bet it was Dumbledore.”

“He probably did know something was happening,” James agreed, nodding his head.

“I have to admit,” Sirius said, and all three heads turned towards him, “I’m glad they’re friends with her.”

“Agreed,” James said, nodding his head.

“I need all this in writing,” Lily muttered, and the two boys smirked at her.

“You’ll never have any proof of these statements,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You like her.”

“You have no proof!” Sirius said, and Lily giggled.

**“"A stone that makes gold and stops you from ever dying!" said Harry. "No wonder Snape's after it! Anyone would want it."”**

“We’ve already established that it’s not for Snape,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes

“Oh because Harry was totally present for that,” Lily teased.

“Well, technically he is present,” Sirius said, “He’s somewhere in you isn’t he?”

“I…didn’t think of it that way,” Lily said, looking down at her abdomen, “Strange.”

“That is strange,” James chuckled.

“Harry has no excuse then,” Sirius teased, “Jamie’s specimen and your parts are all present!” Sirius said, and both Lily and James flushed darkly.

“Thanks for that mate,” James coughed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as Lily looked towards the dormitories to hide her blushing face, suddenly very aware of the boy lying down on her.

“I try,” Sirius said, grinning devilishly at Remus who was shaking with restrained laughter.

**“"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry," said Ron. "He's not exactly recent if he's six hundred and sixty-five, is he?"”**

Lily giggled as the boys snorted.

“Six hundred and sixty five,” Sirius said, looking towards the dormitories, “wouldn’t that be interesting?”

“No,” Lily said.

“Don’t you want to live forever?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head.

“Why not?” James asked, and Lily shrugged.

“It’s not natural,” she said, and the boys snorted, “And I mean, what have you to stay around for? Everyone you’d know would be dead, everything would change,” she said, and the boys’ expressions fell.

“Unless _everyone_ had elixir!” he said, and Lily snorted

“Then Voldemort would be around forever.”

“Why are you so damn cynical?” Sirius muttered, and Lily grinned as James and Remus chuckled.

**“The next morning in Defense Against the Dark Arts, while copying down different ways of treating werewolf bites,”**

Remus squirmed.

“You alright?” Lily asked, and Remus coughed as James and Sirius hid smirks.

“Yeah, just getting comfortable,” Remus said, coughing again.

“Do you have a bad throat?” Lily asked, green eyes concerned.

“No,” Remus said, giving her an uneasy smile, “I’m fine, really.”

“Okay,” she said, smiling, before turning back to Sirius and James, who adopted straight faces after grinning like loons at their best mates discomfort.

**“Harry and Ron were still discussing what they'd do with a Sorcerer's Stone if they had one. It wasn't until Ron said he'd buy his own Quidditch team that Harry remembered about Snape and the coming match.”**

“He forgot about Quidditch?” Sirius gasped, and James sighed

“Forgiven,” he said, and Sirius gaped.

“I thought that was a sin!”

“He was distracted,” James shrugged.

“This whole father thing is bad for you,” Sirius said and James grinned as Remus and Lily laughed.

“How is it bad for him?” Lily asked

“He’s not James anymore!”

“Yeah, he’s smarter,” Lily said, and James spluttered as Sirius and Remus laughed

“Lily!”

“James!” she mimicked, grinning down at him.

James huffed, “I’m breaking up with you.”

“Fine,” Lily said, attempting to get up, but James sighed.

“I was kidding,” he muttered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I had no idea,” she deadpanned, and James grinned sheepishly as Remus and Sirius laughed. **  
**

**“"I'm going to play," he told Ron and Hermione.”**

“Your neck,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily glared at him.

“Don’t say that!” she squeaked, and Sirius grinned

“Does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Yes,” she said bluntly, and Sirius faltered.

“Oh, then, er, I’ll stop,” he said, frowning, and Lily nodded. Sirius turned to the book and Lily grinned, causing James and Remus to chuckle.

**“"If I don't, all the Slytherins will think I'm just too scared to face Snape. I'll show them... it'll really wipe the smiles off their faces if we win."”**

“He has a point,” Lily said, and Remus choked.

“James has converted you, hasn’t he?” Remus asked solemnly, and Lily giggled as James spluttered,

“Moony!”

“Prongs!”

“Why do people keep doing this to me?” he asked Lily, who laughed, kissing his cheek lightly.

“Because it’s fun,” she said, and James huffed, trying to ignore the way his cheek tingled where her lips had touched it.

**“"Just as long as we're not wiping you off the field," said Hermione.”**

“So if Lily is converted does that mean she is too?” Sirius asked, and Remus snorted

“Yes mate, there’s a direct correlation,” Remus said, and Sirius smirked as Remus shook his head at Lily and James, who laughed. **  
**

**“As the match drew nearer, however, Harry became more and more nervous, whatever he told Ron and Hermione.”**

“Brave little boy,” Sirius said happily, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He’s being stupid,” she said, and Sirius smirked.

“What happened to agreeing with James?”

“It comes and goes,” Lily said, and James snorted as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“The rest of the team wasn't too calm, either.”**

“Oh, okay, so it’s not just Harry then,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled

“Obviously.”

“Don’t sass me Lily Evans,” Sirius said as Remus and James roared with laughter.

“I’ll do whatever I want Sirius Black,” she said, and Sirius smirked at her.

“Bring it, Evans.”

“It’s on, Black.”

**“The idea of overtaking Slytherin in the house championship was wonderful, no one had done it for seven years, but would they be allowed to, with such a biased referee?”**

“You should be,” Lily said, “I don’t think McGonagall would do well with Snape sabotaging her house,” she said, and the boys gasped.

“How could we forget about good ol’ McGonagall?” Sirius gasped.

“How could _you_?” Lily asked, “Isn’t she the love of your life or something?”

“You _told_ her?” Sirius gasped, turning to James, who rolled his eyes amusedly as Remus and Lily laughed.

“Relationships are based on trust, Sirius,” Remus said wisely, “he has to tell her everything.”

“I hate you,” Sirius said, and the other three frowned

“Who?”

“Take your pick,” Sirius muttered, and they laughed. **  
**

**“Harry didn't know whether he was imagining it or not, but he seemed to keep running into Snape wherever he went.”**

The four of them laughed, “You’re probably imagining it,” Lily said, shaking her head.

“You never know with Snape,” James said, and lily rolled her eyes, “How do you know he isn’t stalking Harry?”

“Why would he need to?” Lily snorted, “He has him in class.”

“Yes, but if he follows him around Harry will get intimidated.”

“Or he’s just trying to get him alone,” Sirius said, and they all turned to look at him as if questioning his insanity, which was not entirely unlikely.

“Please tell me you don’t mean that the way I think you do,” Remus said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“What?” Sirius said, and then his eyes widened and his face contorted in disgust.

“Evidently not,” James murmured, and Lily giggled.

“REMUS!”

“WHAT?”

“Must they always bicker?” Lily asked, and James grinned, nodding.

“Its extremely entertaining when you’re bored,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“I bet it is,” she said, looking between the two red faced arguing boys.

**“At times, he even wondered whether Snape was following him, trying to catch him on his own.”**

“See!” Sirius said, still looking disturbed, “Even he thought it!”

“But he didn’t have perverted connotations!” Remus hissed, and Sirius glared.

“I _didn’t_!”

“Well, we never know with you, mate,” James said, and Sirius scowled at him.

“Lily’s my new best mate,” he said, and James pouted magnificently, “Is that okay with you love?” Sirius asked, and Lily giggled.

“You can’t call your best mate love,” she said, and Sirius huffed.

“Point,” he said, and then turned to James and Remus, “Fine, I guess I’ll just have to keep you lot as my best mates.”

“Oh _Padfoot_!” James sniffed dramatically

“I’m ever so relieved,” Remus said, wiping a fake tear. James and Remus burst out laughing, and Lily giggled. Sirius did not look amused.

**“Potions lessons were turning into a sort of weekly torture, Snape was so horrible to Harry.”**

“Merlin I cant wait until Gryffindor beats Slytherin,” Sirius sighed

“Why?” Lily snorted, “He’ll be worse.”

“Oh…right,” Sirius said, frowning, “There’s no winning!”

“There will be if Gryffindor beats Slytherin,” James said, cracking up at his own joke. Sirius, Remus and Lily looked at him with bored expressions.

“You need help,” Lily said, and James pouted as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Will _you_ help me?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head, mouth twitching with laughter.

**“Could Snape possibly know they'd found out about the Sorcerer's Stone?”**

“No,” Lily snorted.

“Dumbledore probably knows,” James said, and Lily frowned.

“Think he knows we’re reading the book?” she asked, and Remus shrugged.

“We’ve discussed this already,” he said, “I think he does.”

“Me too,” Lily said, looking at the ceiling as if Dumbledore were perched up there eavesdropping.

“HELLO ALBUS!” Sirius called out, and Lily squeaked as James and Remus roared with laughter, “What?” Sirius said, noticing her expression, “If he’s listening it’s only polite to say hello.”

“I’m going to have a headache,” Lily muttered, and the boys sniggered.

**“Harry didn't see how he could - yet he sometimes had the horrible feeling that Snape could read minds.”**

Lily twitched awkwardly. Nobody would’ve noticed if James hadn’t been lying on her lap

“What?” James asked, and Lily shook her head

“What?” Sirius repeated, and Lily bit her lip

“What?” Remus said, and Lily sighed, causing the boys to grin.

“He’s always talked about learning Legilimency,” she said, “So he might know how to read minds.”

“That would be terrible,” James shuddered.

“Think he can?” Sirius asked, looking curiously down at the book.

“Who knows mate, who knows,” Remus sighed, running his hand through his hair tiredly. **  
**

**“Harry knew, when they wished him good luck outside the locker rooms the next afternoon, that Ron and Hermione were wondering whether they'd ever see him alive again.”**

“So comforting,” Lily said, as the other three boys laughed nervously.

“He wont die, right?” James said.

“No, he wont,” Sirius said, shaking his head.

“Think Snape’s going to do something again?” Remus asked, and Lily shook her head.

“I don’t know, Dumbledore wouldn’t let him,” she said, and the boys snorted.

“Sweetheart,” Sirius said, “Even Dumbledore wouldn’t be able to do anything if Snape threw Harry off his broom.”

**“This wasn't what you'd call comforting.”**

“ _Really_?” James said, and the others laughed.

**“Harry hardly heard a word of Wood's pep talk as he pulled on his Quidditch robes and picked up his Nimbus Two Thousand.”**

“Oh don’t worry Harry, that’s normal, not many people listen to the pep talks,” Sirius said, winking at James, who snorted

“Chelsea, Gwenog and Marlene pay attention,” he said, and Sirius smirked.

“Because they’re in love with you,” Lily said, and James’ eyebrows shot up as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

“What?” James spluttered, and Lily shrugged

“I share a dorm with two of them,” she said, and James paled as Sirius and Remus continued to laugh

“Does it make you jealous?” James asked after a second, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus only laughed harder.

“Oh totally,” she deadpanned, and James beamed.

“Knew it.”

“That was _sarcastic_ , dimwit,” she said, shaking her head fondly.

“I’m hardly dimwitted,” James snorted, eyes twinkling.

“Oh, how are you so sure?”

“Because if I was dimwitted you wouldn’t enjoy battling wits with me as much as you do,” James said, smiling up at her as she flushed.

For once, Lily Evans had nothing to say. **  
**

**“Ron and Hermione, meanwhile, had found a place in the stands next to Neville, who couldn't understand why they looked so grim and worried, or why they had both brought their wands to the match.”**

“To make fireworks,” James said, and Lily grinned

“Daft child,” Sirius said, and Lily clucked her tongue

“He doesn’t _know_ Sirius”

“ _You_ don’t know,” Sirius muttered, and Lily threw her head back, laughing.

**“Little did Harry know that Ron and Hermione had been secretly practicing the Leg-Locker Curse. They'd gotten the idea from Malfoy using it on Neville, and were ready to use it on Snape if he showed any sign of wanting to hurt Harry.”**

“Aw!” Lily squealed, grinning like a loon, “That’s so _cute_!”

“It wouldn’t work,” Sirius snorted, and Lily huffed

“That’s not the point!”

“What is it with you and points?” James asked, and Lily shrugged.

“It’s a fun phrase,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Then, pray tell, what is the point?” James asked, and Lily sighed

“The fact that they went to such lengths to protect him,” she said, grinning, “They’re so _cute_!”

“See, now how hard was it to tell us what the point was?” James asked, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“How will you learn?” she gasped, and James rolled his eyes amusedly as Remus and Sirius laughed

“Is that your phrase of the day?” Sirius teased, and Lily grinned

“Phrase of the chapter is more like it,” Remus said, and James snorted.

“Thank Merlin the Chapter’s almost over,” he said, and Lily pouted, causing Remus and Sirius to laugh. **  
**

**“"Now, don't forget, it's _Locomotor Mortis_ ," Hermione muttered as Ron slipped his wand up his sleeve.”**

“Such a nag,” Sirius muttered. **  
**

**“"I know," Ron snapped. "Don't nag."”**

Sirius barked a laugh as the other three chuckled, “Good boy Ronald.”

“Why must he snap?” Lily asked exasperatedly, “It’s so rude!”

“She deserved it,” Sirius said, and Lily glared.

“She was _reminding_ him!”

“She was _nagging_!”

“No she wasn’t!”

“Yes she was!”

“Look what you’ve gotten yourself into,” Remus smirked, winking at James, who covered his face with his hands.

“Who’d have thought there’d be so many consequences to dating Lily,” he said, and Remus laughed.

“Hopefully it’s worth it,” Remus said, and James grinned, looking up at Lily as she laughed at Sirius.

“It is.”

 **“Back in the locker room, Wood had taken Harry aside.**  
  
"Don't want to pressure you, Potter, but if we ever need an early capture of the Snitch it's now. Finish the game before Snape can favor Hufflepuff too much."”

“Right,” James snorted, “No pressure.”

“It’s not pressuring,” Lily reasoned, “He’s just saying he’d like an early catch for their welfare.”

“Yes, that’s pressuring,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“No it’s not!”

“Yes, Lily, it is. Wouldn’t you be pressured if someone told you that you should do something fast?”

“No,” she said, “It’s a request. It’s not like he’s saying ‘if you don’t catch it fast you’re off the team’, or anything,” she said, and James snorted.

“I agree with Lils on this one, mate,” Remus chuckled, and James glared at him.

“Me too, for the record,” Sirius said, holding his hand up.

“You stole my friends?” James whined, and Lily laughed.

“Don’t worry I’ll look after them,” she said, and James pouted as she grinned down at him.

“Who will _my_ friends be?” he whined, and Sirius smirked.

“You can have Wormtail,” he said, and James glared at him as Remus coughed a chuckle and Lily shook her head disapprovingly.

“He’s your friend!”

“So?” Sirius said, and Lily sighed in defeat.

**“"The whole school's out there!" said Fred Weasley, peering out of the door.”**

“What else is new?” Remus asked, and Lily snorted in agreement.

“They’ve come to see if James Potters son is as handsome as him,” James said wisely, and the other three snorted, “Lily!”

“What?” she said innocently, green eyes wide; she would’ve been the picture of innocence had her eyes not been twinkling mischievously.

**“"Even- blimey- _Dumbledore's_ come to watch!" Harry's heart did a somersault.”**

They all froze.

“Oh”

“My”

“Merlin” the three boys gasped, and Lily let out a squeal, breaking the silence.

“He can’t do anything if Dumbledore watching!” she sung and the boys’ faces split into grins.

“YES!” James said happily.

Sirius jumped up and ran over to Remus’ armchair, pulling Remus off the chair and waltzing around the room with him.

“ _Sirius!_ ” Remus yelled, as Sirius dipped him gracefully.

“What?” Sirius laughed.

“Get _off_ me!”

“But you’re so sexy!”

“ _GET OFF_!”

Lily and James were laughing madly as Remus stomped, red faced, to his armchair and threw himself down on it moodily.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it,” Sirius winked, and Remus glared at him. Lily let out a peal of laughter and Remus turned to glare at her, and she hid behind her hair, still shaking with laughter.

“I don’t approve of your girlfriend,” Remus muttered to James, who only proceeded to laugh harder, “I hate all of you.” **  
**

**“"Dumbledore?" he said, dashing to the door to make sure Fred was right. There was no mistaking that silver beard.”**

“YAY!” Sirius said, jumping up and heading over to Remus’ armchair again. Remus held his legs out in front of him, striking Sirius in the stomach as he charged at Remus, “BLOODY- MOONY!” Sirius wailed, doubled over in pain.

“That was mean, Remus,” Lily said, giggling.

“You don’t sound disapproving,” Remus said slyly, and Lily giggled.

“It was funny,” she said, “But still mean.”

“I agree,” James said

“You should apologize,” Lily said and Remus spluttered.

“What?”

“You heard me,” she said, nodding to Sirius, who was now standing up straight, grinning at Remus.

“But he danced with me!”

“You _kicked_ him!” Lily said, “At least what he did wasn’t painful.”

“I should’ve said that to you whenever James asked you out,” Remus said, and Lily flushed as James and Sirius roared with laughter.

“That was different,” Lily said, and Remus quirked an eyebrow.

“How so?”

“Because it was me,” she said, and Remus chuckled as James and Sirius roared with laughter. **  
**

**“Harry could have laughed out loud with relief. He was safe. There was simply no way that Snape would dare to try to hurt him if Dumbledore was watching. Perhaps that was why Snape was looking so angry as the teams marched onto the field, something that Ron noticed, too.”**

“I bet he’s just _furious_!” Sirius said gleefully, and Lily shook her head fondly.

“I love how you take such gleeful pleasure in that,” she said, and Sirius smirked.

“Bad things happening to Snape are my guilty pleasure,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed.

“I know,” she said dryly,

**“"I've never seen Snape look so mean," he told Hermione. "Look- they're off…Ouch!"”**

“Oh no! What happened?” James panicked, sitting up, eyes wide and alarmed.

**“Someone had poked Ron in the back of the head. It was Malfoy.”**

“Oh,” James snorted, lying back down on Lily’s lap, relaxing.

“Someone got very paternal right there, didn’t he?” Sirius asked Remus, who smirked.

“He did,” Remus agreed, and James scowled at his best mates as they snickered.

“That’s okay,” Lily said, giggling, “I thought it was nice.”

“You’re the only friend I have Lily,” James sniffed.

“So we’re just friends?” Lily asked, smirking, and James stiffened.

“I didn’t say that.”

“I can do friends,” she said, making to get up, but James glared at her, causing her to laugh. **  
**

**“"Oh, sorry, Weasley, didn't see you there." Malfoy grinned broadly at Crabbe and Goyle.”**

“Of course you didn’t,” Sirius said angrily

“How could you miss such a bright red head?” Remus asked skeptically, and Lily spluttered, hand flying up to her hair as Sirius and James roared with laughter at her reaction.

“Remus!”

“It wasn’t an insult!” Remus said, laughing. **  
**

**“"Wonder how long Potter's going to stay on his broom this time. Anyone want a bet? What about you, Weasley?"”**

“Shut up,” James growled.

“Okay,” Sirius said, closing the book, and James gave him a blank look, “It was a joke, Merlin,” Sirius muttered, opening the book as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Ron didn't answer; Snape had just awarded Hufflepuff a penalty because George Weasley had hit a Bludger at him.”**

“Nice one George!” James clapped as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“I can’t even say anything about the penalty,” Sirius said, shaking his head amusedly, “Best penalty reason _ever_!”

“Shot a Bludger at the hook nosed referee,” James agreed, nodding, and Sirius snorted with laughter. Lily was choosing to block their conversation out.

**“Hermione, who had all her fingers crossed in her lap, was squinting fixedly at Harry, who was circling the game like a hawk, looking for the Snitch.”**

“Think she’ll end up falling for him?” Sirius asked excitedly, and Lily snorted.

“No,” she said, and the boys quirked eyebrows at her.

“Why?” James said, looking affronted, as if she’d just badmouthed Harry.

“Because she’s his friend,” she said, shaking her head

“I don’t see the logic in that.”

“She wont,” she sighed, shaking her head, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Nobody understand the minds of females,” Sirius countered, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as she heard James and Remus agree with Sirius. **  
**

**“"You know how I think they choose people for the Gryffindor team?" said Malfoy loudly a few minutes later, as Snape awarded Hufflepuff another penalty for no reason at all.”**

“HEY!” James said indignantly.

“What are you heying?” Sirius asked.

“The no reason penalty,” James said, and Sirius nodded.

“Okay, then I’ll ‘hey’ Malfoy,” Sirius said, and James chuckled

“Go ahead.”

“HEY!” Sirius yelled, and the other three burst out laughing.

“There’s nothing to hey though,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted.

“Yet.”

“It was a ‘hey’ in advance,” Lily said, giggling, and Sirius nodded.

“Well done Lily.”

“I’m a fast learner,” she said, and the boys chuckled

**“"It's people they feel sorry for. See, there's Potter, who's got no parents, then there's the Weasleys, who've got no money - you should be on the team, Longbottom, you've got no brains."”**

The three boys wore such violent expressions that Lily was momentarily afraid to be in such close proximity with James and his huge muscles.

“I hope _you_ have no parents,” James hissed, and Lily sighed.

“And go broke,” Sirius said, nodding his head.

“And lose your brains,” Remus muttered.

“Maybe he’ll develop character that way,” James said darkly, and the other two boys chuckled darkly.

**“Neville went bright red but turned in his seat to face Malfoy. "I'm worth twelve of you, Malfoy," he stammered.”**

“You tell him Neville!” Sirius growled.

“Stand up to the worthless…worthless…I can’t think of animal,” James said irritably, and the others laughed.

“Toad?” Lily suggested, and James smirked, shaking his head.

“Too talented,” he said, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at him.

“…okay,” she said, frowning.

“Ferret,” Sirius said, and James beamed.

“Yes!” he said gleefully, “Malfoy the worthless ferret!” **  
**

**“Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle howled with laughter, but Ron, still not daring to take his eyes from the game, said, "You tell him, Neville."**

**"Longbottom, if brains were gold you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something."”**

“I never knew how people could be so cruel to one another,” Lily sighed, threading her fingers in James’ hair.

“What do you mean?” he murmured.

“I mean, I don’t have it in me to hurt someone like Malfoy does, you know? Teasing them about their dead parents, or their family’s lack of money…or their blood status,” she said, clearing her throat, “I mean, how can you do that?” she asked, her eyebrows pinched pensively

“You’re not supposed to,” Sirius said, “Which is why he’s a Slytherin.”

“That’s terrible,” Lily sighed, and James smiled sympathetically at her.

“You’re just a good person Lil,” he said, and she sighed.

“I hope so,” she whispered, and James grinned at her, rubbing a soothing circle on her hand.

**“Ron's nerves were already stretched to the breaking point with anxiety about Harry.”**

“Look at him showing his best mate colours!” Sirius said happily, and the others laughed

“We already knew they were best mates.”

“Different,” Sirius said, waving his hand, “You’re not best mates until you worry about one another.”

“Do you worry about me?” James aside, and Sirius sighed, nodding, “Padfoot!”

“Oh give it a rest Prongs,” Sirius laughed, and James grinned at him. **  
**

**""I'm warning you, Malfoy - one more word-”**

**"Ron!" said Hermione suddenly, "Harry -"”**

“What happened?” Lily asked, eyes wide.

**“"What? Where?"”**

“In the sky you dimwit,” James said, rolling his eyes, and Lily giggled, whacking his arm as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

**“Harry had suddenly gone into a spectacular dive, which drew gasps and cheers from the crowd. Hermione stood up, her crossed fingers in her mouth, as Harry streaked toward the ground like a bullet.”**

“Why are her hands in her mouth?” Lily asked, disgusted, “That’s so unsanitary.”

“And this is what you focus on?” James asked, and Lily’s eyes widened.

“Oh Merlin!” she squeaked, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Mate,” Sirius said, and James turned to him, “Your eleven year old is going into a spectacular dive,” he said, shaking his head disbelievingly, and James grinned proudly. **  
**

**“"You're in luck, Weasley, Potter's obviously spotted some money on the ground!" said Malfoy.”**

“Too far,” Sirius said, shaking his head, an angry look in his eyes. **  
**

**“Ron snapped. Before Malfoy knew what was happening, Ron was on top of him, wrestling him to the ground. Neville hesitated then clambered over the back of his seat to help.”**

“I knew there was some Gryffindor in him!” Sirius said happily.

“Don’t _fight_!” Lily said, shaking her head, “Boys, honestly.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Remus challenged, and Lily grinned

“That boys leap before they look,” she said, and Remus chuckled. **  
**

**“"Come on, Harry!" Hermione screamed, leaping onto her seat to watch as Harry sped straight at Snape”**

“KNOCK HIM OFF HIS BROOM!” Sirius bellowed excitedly, jumping up off the sofa, book in his hands as he jumped up and down. James grinned at his best mate.

“How can you read like that?” he asked, and Sirius shrugged.

“The book is moving with me,” he said, and James chuckled as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“- she didn't even notice Malfoy and Ron rolling around under her seat, or the scuffles and yelps coming from the whirl of fists that was Neville, Crabbe, and Goyle.”**

“Leave them there,” James said, waving his hand off

“Let bygones be bygones,” Sirius agreed, and Lily laughed.

“What’s a bygone?” she asked, and Sirius sighed.

“You think you’d know this,” he teased, and Lily shrugged, “they’re things that belong to an earlier time,” he said, and Lily nodded.

“Then how does that phrase work?” she asked, and Sirius looked at her.

“What do I look like, Merlin?” he asked, and she giggled as he grinned and James and Remus laughed. **  
**

**“Up in the air, Snape turned on his broomstick just in time to see something scarlet shoot past him, missing him by inches”**

“Damn it Harry!” Sirius whined, and the others laughed.

“You know how much trouble he’d have gotten in had he smashed into Snape?” Lily said, and Sirius sighed.

“I suppose you have a point there,” he said sadly.

**“- the next second, Harry had pulled out of the dive, his arm raised in triumph, the Snitch clasped in his hand.”**

“NO WAY!” James yelled happily, before jumping off the sofa and hugging Sirius, the two of them jumping up and down together.

“WAY!” Sirius bellowed. Lily giggled at her boy friend and his best mate and turned to see Remus smiling affectionately.

“You loved the dance,” she said, and he chuckled

“It was fun,” he agreed, and Lily grinned at him, “Don’t ever tell him I said that.”

“Cross my heart,” she said, and Remus grinned.

“I do actually, approve of you, I mean,” he said, and Lily’s eyes widened, “I didn’t before…you know, when you kept rejecting him,” he said, and Lily nodded, “But I do now.”

“T-thanks,” she said, and he beamed at her.

“Don’t hurt him yeah?” he said, and Lily smiled

“I’ll try.” **  
**

**“The stands erupted; it had to be a record, no one could ever remember the Snitch being caught so quickly.”**

“He’s breaking a lot of records, isn’t he?” James said fondly, falling back onto the sofa, too buzzed to lie down on Lily’s lap and resorted to grabbing her hand and bouncing up and down, much to everyone’s amusement. **  
**

**“"Ron! Ron! Where are you? The game's over! Harry's won! We've won! Gryffindor is in the lead!" shrieked Hermione, dancing up and down on her seat and hugging Parvati Patil in the row in front.”**

“I really do love her,” Sirius said, beaming

“I know,” Lily said simply.

“You have no proof,” Sirius said, and Lily swore, a word sounding very odd coming out of her small person.

“I have to start making you write things down,” she muttered, and the boys laughed. **  
**

**“Harry jumped off his broom, a foot from the ground. He couldn't believe it. He'd done it - the game was over; it had barely lasted five minutes.”**

“ _Barely five minutes_?” James asked, eyes wide.

“That’s…that’s…that’s a record!” Sirius gasped.

“Well, yes, they did say a record was broken,” Remus said cheekily, and Lily giggled as Sirius and James turned to glare at the boy.

**“As Gryffindors came spilling onto the field, he saw Snape land nearby, white-faced and tight-lipped - then Harry felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into Dumbledore's smiling face.”**

“Dumbledore?” Sirius said, confused.

“Yes, Dumbledore, our headmaster,” Lily said, “Tall? Silver beard? Long hair?”

“I know who he is!” Sirius said, as James and Remus laughed and Lily beamed at him.

“Just checking!”

“I was confused as to what he was doing on the Pitch,” Sirius said, “S’far as I know, Dumbledore’s never set foot on the green.”

“He must have,” Lily said, shaking her head, “I mean, he did go here in his youth.”

“Can you imagine?” Remus chuckled, “and eleven year old Dumbledore?”

“No,” Lily laughed, as James and Sirius frowned at each other, “I really can’t.” **  
**

**“"Well done," said Dumbledore quietly, so that only Harry could hear. "Nice to see you haven't been brooding about that mirror... been keeping busy... excellent..."**

**Snape spat bitterly on the ground.”**

Sirius and James sniggered madly.

“Take that _Snivellus_!” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly.

“I’m so _happy_!” James said, beaming, “I don’t know when I’ve ever been so happy.”

“Thanks,” Lily said dryly, and James’ jaw fell as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“I-I didn’t mean, I mean, I d-didn’t-“

“It was a _joke_ ,” Lily laughed, taking pity on her stuttering boyfriend and squeezing his hand, “You’re far too easy to mess with.”

“That’s not fair,” James pouted, and Lily giggled.

**“oOo”**

“Merlin Sirius!” Lily squeaked, holding onto her ears as Sirius sniggered madly.

“Some warning would have been nice,” Remus said, massaging his ears.

“We said sing,” James said, “Not wail like a banshee”

“It wasn’t even a wail,” Lily said, “It was like he was screaming bloody murder.”

“I take offense to that,” Sirius pouted.

“You should,” Remus muttered, blinking rapidly to rid himself of the pain of the scream, and to calm his racing heart

**“Harry left the locker room alone some time later, to take his Nimbus Two Thousand back to the broom shed. He couldn't ever remember feeling happier. He'd really done something to be proud of now - no one could say he was just a famous name any more.”**

They all smiled sympathetically.

“No-one thinks you’re a famous name,” James said, shaking his head.

“Yes they do,” Lily said, shaking her head, “But they wont anymore.”

**“The evening air had never smelled so sweet.”**

“It’s the smell of victory,” Sirius said, inhaling deeply.

“Or the stench of sweat,” Lily said, “Who knows.”

“Lily!” James said, as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter, and she grinned cheekily.

“What?”

**“He walked over the damp grass, reliving the last hour in his head, which was a happy blur: Gryffindors running to lift him onto their shoulders; Ron and Hermione in the distance, jumping up and down, Ron cheering through a heavy nosebleed.”**

Lily winced, “Hope he’s okay.”

“He’s a boy Lily, he’s fine,” James said, rolling his eyes

“And if he was cheering through the nosebleed he’s absolutely fine,” Remus said, and Lily laughed

“I suppose.”

**“Harry had reached the shed. He leaned against the wooden door and looked up at Hogwarts, with its windows glowing red in the setting sun.”**

“Stop being so bloody poetic!” Sirius laughed

“We’re back on this?” Lily whined, and Remus and James chuckled.

“Lily love, we were never off it.”

“But it was _gone_!”

“Only because your son was lacking poetic talent,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed.

“That’s not fair,” she pouted.

“Life’s not fair love,” Sirius winked, and she scowled at him.

**“Gryffindor in the lead. He'd done it, he'd shown Snape...”**

“Yes you did,” James said proudly

“Oh he’s going to absolutely _hate_ Harry now,” Sirius said.

“Because he’s even more like James now,” Remus said, and James chuckled.

“Probably.”

**“And speaking of Snape...A hooded figure came swiftly down the front steps of the castle.”**

“SYMBOLISM!” Remus bellowed, causing James and Sirius to jump violently and Lily to burst out laughing.

“Remus, you _are_ a little nerd, aren’t you?” she teased, and Remus smirked.

“Yes, I am.”

**“Clearly not wanting to be seen, it walked as fast as possible toward the Forbidden Forest.”**

“Why is Snape going into the Forbidden Forest?” Sirius asked curiously, turning the page of the book.

“OI!” James said, throwing a cushion at his best mate, “Read it out loud!”

“But _James_!”

“Sirius Orion Black you read it out loud this instant,” Lily said sternly, and Sirius smirked.

“Merlin they get scary when they get older,” he said, and Lily flushed as Remus and James laughed.

“It’s a female thing,” James agreed, winking at his affronted girlfriend.

**“Harry's victory faded from his mind as he watched. He recognized the figure's prowling walk.”**

“Snape has a distinct walk?” Remus snorted, and Lily nodded, giggling.

“Like a sloth,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“A _sloth_ Lily?” James wheezed, grinning up at her, “ _Really_?”

“He drags his feet!” Lily squeaked, “It’s very-”

“Sloth-like?” Remus teased, and Lily glared at him.

**“Snape, sneaking into the forest while everyone else was at dinner - what was going on?”**

“Oh no,” Lily groaned, and the boys frowned, “he’s going to follow him, isn’t he?” she asked, and the boys grinned.

“Yes,” James said simply, and Lily groaned.

“Why?” she whined, and James chuckled

“Because he’s his fathers son,” Remus said, and Lily huffed irritably

“But he could get caught!”

“So?” James said, and Lily scowled.

“Is that your motto?” she said, and James smirked as Sirius and Remus laughed

“It’s more like a catch-phrase, actually,” James said and Lily rolled her eyes

“I thought your catch phrase was ‘Go out with me, Evans?’” Sirius said, smirking devilishly, and James glowered at him as Lily and Remus burst out laughing

“I agree,” Remus said, smirking at James.

“You did say it an awful lot,” Lily said, nodding, and James glared at her grinning face.

“Why are you all torturing me?” he asked, and the other three laughed. **  
**

**“Harry jumped back on his Nimbus Two Thousand and took off. Gliding silently over the castle he saw Snape enter the forest at a run. He followed.”**

Lily punched James in the shoulder, and the three boys burst out laughing. **  
**

**"The trees were so thick he couldn't see where Snape had gone. He flew in circles, lower and lower, brushing the top branches of trees until he heard voices. He glided toward them and landed noiselessly in a towering beech tree.”**

“Don’t fall,” Remus said, and Sirius smirked. Remus frowned at him and Sirius nodded towards where Lily was sitting on the edge of her seat, looking panicked, a devilish glint in his eye. James, noticing this, smirked at his best mate and held his hands up, as if to say he wasn’t a part of it. Remus shook his head slowly, a warning, which Sirius, being Sirius, ignored.

“BOOM!” he yelled, and Lily screamed, falling off the sofa, landing with a ‘thud’ on her bottom on the floor, her back against the base of the sofa.

The common room filled with deep laughter, and she looked angrily from Remus, to Sirius, to her bloody _boyfriend_ , all of who were laughing so hard tears were streaming out of their eyes.

“YOU BLOODY IDIOTS!” she screeched, jumping to her feet. James grinned at her; with her bright eyes, red cheeks, clenched fists and mad hair, Lily Evans looked just as she did when she was screaming at him, when he fell in love with her.

“What?” Sirius asked innocently, grinning.

“THAT WASN’T FUNNY!”

“I beg to differ,” Remus chuckled, and Lily growled, stomping her foot.

“I didn’t know girls actually did that,” Sirius mused, and Remus snorted amusedly. Lily’s hair seemed to crackle with electricity. She narrowed her eyes at Sirius and he squeaked, “JAMES!” he yelled, as Lily walked over to Sirius and began to punch every part of his body she could reach.

“What?” James asked, laughing at his cowering best mate, who was three times the size of the small redhead beating him up.

“HELP!”

“I don’t want to get hurt,” James said and Sirius let out a strangled cry.

“EVANS- NOT THERE- NO- STOP- PRONGS!”

“Should I?” James asked Remus, who was holding onto his stomach, fighting for air.

“You probably should,” Remus said, as Sirius screamed again.

“Your conscience,” James said, and Remus chuckled

“Your funeral.” James got up and walked over to Lily, grabbing her around the waist and lifting her up, so she was dangling in the air, limbs flailing.

“JAMES! No! Let me at him!” she said, struggling, and James grinned. He sat down on the sofa, arms still locked securely around her waist, “James!”

“No,” he said, “If you injure him I don’t think I would be too happy with you.”

“But James!”

“I know,” he said, kissing her cheek, and Lily huffed, crossing her arms.

“I am not happy with you,” she said, but he could see the laughter in her eyes as she watched Sirius’ cowering form on the armchair.

“Merlin woman,” Sirius muttered, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at him, “I feel so attacked.”

“Probably because you just were, dear Black,” she said, and Sirius scowled at her.

“She’s dangerous,” he told James, who smirked.

“Oh I know, you have to know just when to stop,” he winked, and Sirius huffed as Lily giggled, leaning on James shoulder.

“I swear she’s bipolar,” Sirius muttered to Remus, who laughed.

“She wasn’t mad,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“She _abused_ me!”

“So?” Remus said and James and Lily laughed as Sirius glared at him.

**“He climbed carefully along one of the branches, holding tight to his broomstick, trying to see through the leaves. Below, in a shadowy clearing, stood Snape, but he wasn't alone.”**

“Voldemort!” Sirius yelled, and Lily glared at him.

“That’s not a joking matter Sirius,” she said, rolling her eyes, “My poor baby would be dead in seconds.”

“Better than having you attack him,” Sirius muttered, and Lily laughed.

“I love you too Sirius,” she said, and he gasped, “Yes, I know, I said it,” she said, and Sirius grinned.

“Then I can forgive you for punching me,” he said, and Lily smiled.

“Bloody charmer,” James muttered into Lily’s hair, and she giggled, turning to kiss his cheek.

“Worked on you didn’t it?” she said, and he shook his head fondly, chuckling.

**“Quirrell was there, too.”**

James made a non-committal noise, and Lily shook her head

“Why do you have such a grudge against him, again?” she asked, and James sighed.

“It’s a feeling.” **  
**

**“Harry couldn't make out the look on his face, but he was stuttering worse than ever. Harry strained to catch what they were saying.”**

“Don’t eavesdrop!” Remus said, and they all turned to him, bewildered.

“Why ever not?” Lily asked, and Remus shrugged sheepishly

“You know what they say about eavesdroppers,” he said, and Sirius and James burst out laughing.

“You mean for moral reasons?” Lily asked, giggling, and Remus cleared his throat

“Can we forget I said that?” Remus begged, and Lily laughed, shaking her head.

“Not a chance.” **  
**

**“"... d-don't know why you wanted t-t-to meet here of all p-places, Severus..."”**

“Scared, Quirrell?” James said, eyebrow quirked.

“James, it’s the Forbidden Forest, of course he’s scared,” Lily said, rolling her eyes

“Pansy,” Sirius snorted, and Lily turned to him

“It’s forbidden for a reason!”

“Never stopped us,” James said, and Lily shook her head in a defeated manner.

“He’s probably scared to be alone with Snape,” Remus said

“Especially since Slytherin just lost,” Sirius said gleefully

**“"Oh, I thought we'd keep this private," said Snape, his voice icy. "Students aren't supposed to know about the Sorcerer's Stone, after all."”**

“This could get _interesting_ ,” Sirius said, sitting up straighter.

“Merlin what’s going on,” James murmured into Lily’s hair, and Lily shuddered delicately as his lips came into brief contact with the skin of her neck. She felt James smile into her neck and elbowed him lightly in the gut, earning herself a chuckle.

“He does realize there is privacy in the school, right?” Remus said, and the others laughed.

“Especially when everyone’s at dinner,” Lily nodded.

“He was never the brightest,” Sirius said, shaking his head pityingly.

**“Harry leaned forward. Quirrell was mumbling something. Snape interrupted him.”**

“Don’t lean forwards!” Lily hissed, “What if you fall?”

“Will you fall again?” Sirius asked innocently, and Lily glared at him.

“I can still hit you,” she said, and Sirius shuddered.

“I take it back.”

**"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?"”**

“So he is trying to get past it,” Lily said quietly.

“We established this ages ago,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed.

“I know,” she said, and then quieter, “I just hoped.” James, being the only one who heard this, squeezed her tightly to his chest. He had never been a fan of Snapes, no, but if Lily was hurt, he would be there for her.

**“"B-b-but Severus, I -"**

**"You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell," said Snape, taking a step toward him.”**

“Don’t kill him,” Lily whimpered, and the boys turned ot her, alarmed.

“I don’t think he’s going to,” Remus said, and Lily shuddered.

“I-I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head. James rubbed his hand soothingly up and down her arm as she shook, and then turned her so her head was leaning on his shoulder, tucked underneath his chin.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly, and she shook her head.

“I can’t believe he turned evil,” she said quietly. Sirius and Remus had enough tact to strike conversation with each other and give Lily some privacy, which she appreciated, “I knew it was in him, but I didn’t want to- didn’t want to-“

“Shh,” James said, kissing the top of her head, “Don’t worry,” he said, “I’m here.”

“You swear?” Lily whispered almost inaudibly, and James smiled slightly.

“I swear.” **  
**

**“"I-I don't know what you”**

**"You know perfectly well what I mean."”**

“What _does_ he mean?” Sirius asked, and Lily laughed, still sitting cradled in James’ lap.

“It’s pretty straightforward,” she said, “He’s asking how to get past the damn dog.”

“Are you calling me thick?” Sirius gasped, and Lily giggled

“A little bit,” she said, and Sirius pouted, causing her laugh.

**“An owl hooted loudly, and Harry nearly fell out of the tree.”**

Sirius snorted, “Smart.”

“That would’ve been disastrous,” James shuddered.

“Or it could’ve been hilarious,” Sirius said, laughing, “ ‘Oh! Professor, hi, didn’t see you there. What am I doing here? You know…just hanging in the trees, the usual’,” Sirius said in a squeaky voice, and they burst out laughing.

“He’s not that quick witted yet,” Lily laughed, shaking her head.

“Cant wait until he is,” Sirius said longingly, and Lily shook her head fondly.

**““He steadied himself in time to hear Snape say, "- your little bit of hocus-pocus. I'm waiting."”**

“Hocus pocus?” James asked, frowning.

“Magic,” Remus said, and James rolled his head to throw the boy a sarcastic look.

“I know what it _means_ ,” James said, and Lily an Sirius laughed, “I meant what does he mean?”

“Well, the stone probably isn’t protected by just a trap door,” Lily reasoned, and Sirius nodded.

“There are probably some enchantments or something,” he nodded, “and you know, since Quirrell is the Dark Arts professor he probably had a role in it,” Sirius said, and James sighed.

“So basically the fate of the stone is in Quirrell’s hands?”

“Basically,” Remus agreed, and James groaned.

**“"B-but I d-d-don't --"**

**"Very well," Snape cut in. "We'll have another little chat soon, when you've had time to think things over and decided where your loyalties lie."”**

“Loyalties?” Remus asked, frowning.

“Sounds like he’s battling the dark side,” Lily joked, and the boys snorted.

“Quirrell? Really?” James snorted, and Lily laughed.

“It was a _joke_ James,” she said, and James smirked.

“Bad joke.”

“ _You’re_ a bad joke.”

“Why thank you love,” James laughed, and Lily shrugged, giggling.

“I try.”

**“He threw his cloak over his head and strode out of the clearing. It was almost dark now, but Harry could see Quirrell, standing quite still as though he was petrified.”**

“I actually pity the poor man right now,” Lily said, and James rolled his eyes

“I feel nothing,” he said, and Sirius snorted.

“In your hollow tin chest?” he said sarcastically, and Lily and Remus burst out laughing as James flushed

“I didn’t mean it that way!”

“Sure you didn’t,” Sirius winked.

**“oOo”**

Lily shuddered violently, “that was officially the scariest thing I’ve heard all day,” she said, shuddering once more.

“What was that?” James squeaked, terrified.

“It was a whisper singing thing!” Sirius said, grinning devilishly

“Sounded like a snake,” Remus said, frowning.

“I know,” Sirius said happily, grinning proudly

“You’re a strange one Sirius Black,” Lily said, shaking her head.

**“"Harry, where have you been?" Hermione squeaked.”**

“Were you worried?” Sirius teased, and Lily rolled her eyes

“She is _not_ going to fall for him!”

“But I want her to!” Sirius whined.

“I thought you lot were set on that Ginny girl?” she said, and James and Remus snorted.

“We still are,” Remus said, gesturing to himself and James, “Sirius stands on his own right now.”

“You’re leaving me alone?” Sirius pouted, and James chuckled

“Yep,” he said bluntly, and Sirius pretended to cry into his hands.

**“"We won! You won! We won!" shouted Ron, thumping Harry on the back. "And I gave Malfoy a black eye, and Neville tried to take on Crabbe and Goyle single-handed! He's still out cold but Madam Pomfrey says he'll be all right - talk about showing Slytherin! Everyone's waiting for you in the common room, we're having a party, Fred and George stole some cakes and stuff from the kitchens."”**

“Ronald stop talking!” Sirius said, shaking his head.

“He’s so excited,” laughed Lily, “It’s adorable.”

“Lily,” Remus chuckled, “Why is everything adorable to you?”

“Because she’s a girl,” Sirius said automatically, and Lily rolled her eyes, throwing a sofa cushion at Sirius’ head.

“It’s _not_ because I’m a girl,” she said.

“Then why is it?” Sirius asked, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

“Because I’m hormonal,” she said, and Sirius turned bright red.

“Er, _oh_ ,” he said, and looked down at the book. Lily grinned happily and reached over to hi-5 Remus, who was laughing at his best friends’ embarrassment, “What?” Sirius asked, and Lily beamed.

“I’m not hormonal,” she said, and Sirius scowled.

“Not funny.”

“Liar,” James said, and the corner of Sirius’ mouth twitched.

**“"Never mind that now," said Harry breathlessly. "Let's find an empty room, you wait 'til you hear this..." He made sure Peeves wasn't inside before shutting the door behind them, then he told them what he'd seen and heard.”**

“Very smart,” James approved, “Always look for Peeves first”

“Unlike us,” Sirius said, and James scowled.

“What happened?” Lily asked, and Remus sighed.

“We walked in hiding from Filch and Peeves gave us away,” Remus said, and Sirius shuddered.

“Worst detention I’ve ever had.”

**“"So we were right, it is the Sorcerer's Stone, and Snape's trying to force Quirrell to help him get it. He asked if he knew how to get past Fluffy - and he said something about Quirrell's 'hocus pocus- I reckon there are other things guarding the stone apart from Fluffy, loads of enchantments, probably, and Quirrell would have done some anti-Dark Arts spell that Snape needs to break through -"”**

“Wow,” Sirius blinked.

“This kid is smart,” Remus agreed.

“He figured that out by himself?” Lily asked, slightly taken aback.

“Apparently,” James chortled.

“Looks like he could give you a run for your money,” Sirius laughed, looking at James, who snorted.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” he said

“Those are rather high expectations for an eleven year old,” Lily said, and James shrugged.

“But it’s _my_ eleven year old.”

“So?” Lily laughed, “Not like you were ruddy brilliant or anything in First Year.”

“Shut it Evans,” James said playfully, and Lily shook her head playfully, giggling and kissing his cheek.

**“"So you mean the Stone's only safe as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?" said Hermione in alarm.”**

“I understand your alarm,” James said sympathetically, shaking his head in defeat. **  
**

**“"It'll be gone by next Tuesday," said Ron.”**

Sirius barked a humorless laugh, “Too right you are Ronald.”

“See,” James said, turning to Lily, “It’s not just me who thinks he’s a coward.”

“I never said it was,” she giggled.

“And that’s the chapter,” Sirius said.

“Next one?” Remus inquired.

**“Chapter Fourteen: Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback”**

“A Norwegian Ridgeback?” James asked, eyebrows high, “What’s that doing there?”

“What’s a Norwegian Ridgeback?” Lily asked, frowning

“A dragon,” Remus said, and Lily snorted.

“This has Hagrid written all over it,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“She’s right,” Sirius laughed, shaking his head.

“Shall we continue then?” James said, but just then there was a tapping noise on the window.

They all turned towards it to see an owl hovering there. Remus hopped over the armchair to open the window and the owl landed on the sofa right behind Lily’s head.

“Who’s it for? Who’s it from?” Sirius asked, and Remus threw him a sarcastic look as Lily and James laughed. Closing the window, Remus walked over to the owl and untied the letter from it’s leg, which it held out skillfully. He looked down at it and smirked.

“Er, Lils, it’s for you,” Remus said, coughing back a laugh, handing the letter to Lily. As soon as she touched it, it exploded.

“LILY CLAIRE EVANS I TOLD YOU I EXPECTED A REPLY! ARE YOU BLOODY KIDDING ME? ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME TO COME DOWN THERE AND… _WHAT_ FRANK? DON’T TELL ME TO STOP YELLING AT HER! LILY CLAIRE EVANS!”

* * *

**Hey guys! Hope you liked it! I’m so sorry for the delay, real life has been crazy. School work, stomach bugs and friendship drama are never fun. Anyway, hope you guys liked it!!**

**REVIEW PLEASE (:**


	15. Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Harry Potter**

* * *

Huffing, she threw herself down on the sofa in the empty Common Room, waiting for the boys to come back. They’d gone to get breakfast while she’d spent her time crafting a reply to Alice. Knowing them, they’d come back empty handed.

Which, of course, they did.

“The kitchens ran out of food!” Sirius said dramatically, sitting down on the armchair with a disgusted expression on his face. Lily’s lip twitched.

“Did it now?”

“Yes!” he gasped, eyes wide, looking over at James, who nodded vigorously. Lily chanced a glance at Remus, who usually gave the boys pranks away, to see him fighting a laugh.

“You lie,” she said bluntly, and Sirius grasped his chest.

“Fair maiden, _me?_ Lie? _Never!_ ”

“Oh really?” Lily smirked, looking at James, who had given up on acting and decided to just laugh at his friend.

“I am as serious as my name, love,” Sirius winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled.

“Just as your soul is as black as your name,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus laughed.

“Sirius ate your food on the way up here,” James said as he sat down on the sofa next to her, and Lily snorted as Sirius threw James a scandalized look.

“I guessed as much,” she smiled, shaking her head fondly.

“Shall we read then?” Remus said, and Lily pouted.

“What about my food?”

“You’re getting too fat anyway,” Sirius said, and Lily shrieked as James and Remus laughed

“Sirius!”

“She’s not fat,” James snorted, and Sirius turned his head to glare at James.

“Must you always do that?” Sirius said, and James grinned.

“If I want to stay on her good side, I do,” he said cheekily, and Lily grinned.

“I’ve taught you well,” she said, patting James on the head, and Sirius pretended to throw up, causing Remus to roll his eyes.

“How was replying to Alice?” James teased, and Lily glared at him as Sirius and Remus snorted.

“We’re not talking about this,” she said, grabbing the book from the sofa beside her and opening it up.

“ **Chapter Fourteen: Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback”**

“Oh Hagrid, what have you done now?” Remus chuckled.

“Norbert,” James snorted, and they all turned to him.

“What’s wrong with Norbert?” Lily asked, and James looked at her, eyes wide.

“ _Why_ in the name of Merlin would you name _anything_ Norbert?”

“Because it’s a name?” she suggested, confused. James continued to look at her, dumbfounded.

“Are you saying you would name your child Norbert?”

“Why not?” she said, and James’ jaw dropped.

“Oh Merlin I’m dating a freak,” he said, and Lily slapped his arm playfully as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Why don’t we recap?” Remus suggested.

“Well basically we’ve found out that the stone is going to be stolen by Snape sometime soon because it’s up to Quirrell to protect it,” Sirius said, and the other three grimaced.

“Well there goes my good mood,” James said, and Lily giggled.

“Where did it go?” she asked, and James rolled his eyes.

“Out the window.”

“Shame,” she giggled, and James shook his head fondly.

**“Quirrell, however, must have been braver than they'd thought.”**

“No way!” James said, eyebrows high.

“Are you impressed?” Remus teased, and James nodded his head vigorously.

“I did _not_ expect that,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He _is_ the Defense against the Dark Arts professor,” she pointed out.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” James snorted, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at him, “Slughorn is the Potions Master, but if you set poison disguised as a drink in front of him he’d drink it,” he said, and Lily opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by Sirius.

“He’s right,” Sirius said, and Lily turned to glare at him.

“Why do you always agree with him?”

“We’re best mates, it’s our job,” Sirius said, and James grinned cheekily at Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him.

**“In the weeks that followed he did seem to be getting paler and thinner, but it didn't look as though he'd cracked yet.”**

“Hang in there not-mate!” Sirius urged, and Lily giggled.

“Not-mate?” James asked amusedly, putting his arm around the giggling Lily as she fell into his side, and quirking an eyebrow at Sirius.

“Yes, because he’s not my mate,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes as if it were completely obvious.

“ _Duh_ James,” Remus said, rolling his eyes mockingly, and James shook his head as the other three laughed.

“You’re all insane,” he said, and Lily beamed.

“That’s rather hypocritical of you, Potter,” she said, and James turned to glare at her, “Oh scary,” she deadpanned, causing Sirius and Remus to laugh.

**“Every time they passed the third-floor corridor, Harry, Ron, and Hermione would press their ears to the door to check that Fluffy was still growling inside.”**

“Because that’s not suspicious at all,” Lily laughed, shaking her head.

“Of course not!” Sirius gasped, “They’re just cooling their ears down,” he said, shaking his head as if it were completely ridiculous of Lily to think otherwise.

“Of course, I’m so sorry,” she smirked, and Sirius sighed.

“What am I going to do with you?” he asked, and Lily shrugged.

“I really don’t know.”

“Oh I’m sure I’ll think of something,” he winked, and Lily shrank into James’ side as James glared at his best mate.

“Was that an innuendo?” Remus asked, and the other three turned to him incredulously.

“Remus doesn’t have experience with these things, we have to be patient with him,” James said to Lily, who laughed as Remus spluttered.

“HEY!”

“Hello to you too Remus,” Sirius said, waving, and Remus huffed, crossing his arms.

**“Snape was sweeping about in his usual bad temper, which surely meant that the Stone was still safe.”**

“Oh of course,” James chuckled, shaking his head.

“So what about now when he’s in his usual bad temper?” Sirius asked.

“Who knows, maybe he’s already thinking about the stone,” Remus said, wiggling his fingers at Sirius, who snorted as Lily and James laughed.

“Oh yes, how silly of me,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes

“We don’t know Remus is right, maybe you should check,” Lily grinned, and Sirius winked.

“Maybe I will.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Lily muttered, and James grinned.

“You’re the one who suggested it love,” he said, and Lily glared at him.

“Can I take it back?” she asked, and Sirius smirked

“Nope. I can’t wait till lunch!” Sirius snickered, clapping his hands together.

“I can,” Lily squeaked, and the three boys grinned devilishly

**“Whenever Harry passed Quirrell these days he gave him an encouraging sort of smile, and Ron had started telling people off for laughing at Quirrell's stutter.”**

“Chivalrous,” Lily snorted, as the boys sniggered.

“A first year? Telling people off? Really?” Sirius snorted, and James laughed.

“Wonder what the fifth years are doing to him for that,” he smirked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Why fifth years?” she asked

“Because they’re the most violent year,” Remus said, and Lily quirked a brow

“No they’re not.”

“Yes, they are,” said James, nodding his head

“Shouldn’t it be the seventh years?” she asked, and James shook his head

“They’re all too busy worrying about N.E.W.T.S.”

“And the sixth years are in the awkward phase between O.W.L.S and N.E.W.T.S,” Sirius said, “So they’re kind of lost.”

“Thanks,” James said, and Sirius grinned, “You do realize _we’re_ sixth years, right?”

“Course I do,” Sirius said sweetly, “Why do you think I talked about lost people?”

“Because James is lost?” Lily suggested innocently, and Sirius and Remus grinned as James scowled down at her.

“I hate you,” he said, and Lily giggled. **  
**

**“Hermione, however, had more on her mind than the Sorcerer's Stone.”**

“What the bloody hell could be more important that the Sorcerer’s Stone?” Sirius asked, looking scandalized.

“I bet she’s stressing over work,” Remus sniggered, and James snorted.

“It would be a very Lily-esque thing to do,” he agreed, winking at Lily, who gasped as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Excuse me!”

“What?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief, “She’s your minion, is she not?”

“Shut up,” Lily mumbled, glaring at James.

“Or what?” he teased, and she glared at him.

“I’ll kill you,” she said, and the other two laughed as James chuckled.

“I’m scared,” he said, and Lily nodded.

“I know.”

“And with good reason,” Sirius said, shuddering, “Remember when she cursed me last year?”

“Honey, I cursed you a lot last year,” she said, and Sirius glared at her as James and Remus laughed.

“First off,” Sirius said, “Don’t ever call me honey.”

“Sorry honey,” Lily said cheekily, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at her.

“Shut it Ginger-Flower.”

“No, honey,” she said, grinning at him.

“Was there a second off?” Remus asked, looking amused.

“What?” Sirius said, frowning, “Oh, no, there wasn’t.”

“Then why’d you say first off?” James asked, and Sirius glared at him.

“What are you? The word Aurors?” Sirius asked irritably, and James grinned as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Yes, yes I am.”

**“She had started drawing up study schedules and colour coding all her notes.”**

James turned and grinned at Lily, who ignored him.

“C- _colour coding_?” Sirius spluttered, looking scandalized, “Schedules?” he turned to look at Lily, who giggled at his affronted expression.

“Yeah? What’s wrong with them?” she asked, and James turned to her, jaw dropped.

“You do that?” he gasped, and Lily grinned.

“Occasionally. Why? Want one?” she asked innocently, fighting laughter as James turned to Remus, his expression pleading. Remus grinned.

“Well, James, I think it would be beneficial to have a study schedule,” Remus said, “You too Sirius.”

“There is no way in Merlin’s name I am getting a colour coded study schedule,” Sirius said bluntly, and Lily giggled.

“What’s wrong with them?” she asked, and Sirius scowled.

“They’re for complete swots.”

“W-w-what?” Lily asked, lower lip puckering.

“It’s for swots, Evans,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh…I-I see,” she said, biting her lip, looking away from Sirius.

“Evans, are you-?” Sirius trailed off as a sniffle sounded from her, “Merlin Evans I’m so sorry!” he squeaked, as Remus’ eyebrows shot up in alarm and James alternated between glaring at Sirius and attempting to comfort Lily.

Sirius wobbled over to Lily, kneeling down in front of her and taking her hands in his, “Lil I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-ARE YOU LAUGHING?” he bellowed, as Lily turned to grin at him, eyes watering from laughter.

“Lily!” James gasped, a smile spreading across his face. She beamed and leaned forward, kissing Sirius on the forehead and patting his cheek.

“You’ll live,” she giggled, leaning into James, as Sirius stomped off and Remus roared with laughter. **  
**

**“Harry and Ron wouldn't have minded, but she kept nagging them to do the same.”**

“I hate her,” Sirius said darkly.

“So by her do you mean Hermione or Lil?” Remus asked, grinning devilishly at Sirius as Lily turned to him with a smug smile and James coughed out a laugh.

“Same thing to me,” Sirius growled, and Lily giggled. She got off the sofa and walked over to sit on the arm of Sirius’ chair, grinning down at him.

“I’m sorry,” she said, holding her hand out to him, a proposition.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you for this,” he said stiffly, crossing his arms and looking straight ahead, his eyes dancing with humour.

“But, I love you!” she cried, and Sirius grinned.

“Do you now?” he asked, winking at James, who only chuckled and shook his head fondly.

“I do,” Lily sniffed, and Sirius turned to look at her.

“Well if you love me you’ll sit with me,” he said, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at him. She quickly glanced over at James, who only rolled his eyes and turned so he stretched his legs out on the sofa. Lily looked back down at Sirius, who was looking at her expectantly, before sighing magnificently and gracefully sliding off the arm of the chair and onto Sirius’ lap.

“Happy?” she asked, and Sirius grinned, wrapping his arms around her belly.

“Incandescently,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“Don’t try anything,” James said, the warning evident in his otherwise teasing tone.

“I wont,” Sirius promised, and James nodded, before smiling at him.

“I suppose I’ll read then?” James said, and Lily grinned.

“I suppose,” she said, and then squealed, “Sirius!” James turned to glare at his best mate.

“What!” he laughed.

“Don’t _tickle_ ,” she hissed, and Sirius grinned devilishly. James’ tense stance relaxed, and he shot a nasty look at Remus, who had laughed at his reaction.

**“"Hermione, the exams are ages away!"**

**"Ten weeks," Hermione snapped.”**

“Oh because that’s _so_ close,” Sirius snorted, and Lily elbowed him, “OI! Evans! That’s my _gut_!”

“Oh is it really?” she asked innocently, and Sirius scowled as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“You’re an evil little minx,” he said, and she giggled.

“Does that mean I get to get up now?” she asked, and James snorted.

“No,” he said, “He’ll want to keep you there to torture you,” he added when Lily frowned at him.

“James is right,” Remus snorted, and Sirius snickered.

“Actually,” Sirius said loudly, effectively cutting off three peoples’ laughter, “I was going to say she couldn’t leave because Prongs seems to be enjoying having an entire sofa to himself,” he said, nodding towards James, who was stretching on the sofa, lying flat on his back with his legs dangling off the end.

“I know where I’m not wanted,” Lily sniffed, and Sirius and Remus laughed.

“I didn’t say that!” James squawked, stretching his arms above his head and arching his back.

“Oh please don’t rush to make so much space for me,” Lily deadpanned, and James threw her a wink as Remus and Sirius snickered.

**“"That's not ages, that's like a second to Nicolas Flamel."”**

The three boys snorted

“Yes, but you’re not Nicholas Flamel,” Sirius said, and James snorted.

“You sure about that mate?” he teased, and Sirius scowled at him.

“I wouldn’t tease me if I were you,” Sirius said, and bounced his legs, causing Lily to squeak, “I have your girl.”

“Yes, James, please save me,” Lily said, and Remus laughed as Sirius clutched Lily tighter and James crouched on the sofa in a chivalrous pose.

“Fear not fair maiden!” James bellowed, before pouncing, literally pouncing, to the other sofa, and miraculously landing on the arm of the armchair.

“How did you do that?” Lily squeaked. James winked at her, before turning to Sirius, his expression fierce.

“Give back the fair maiden!” he said, and Sirius glared at him. Somehow, Sirius twisted so Lily was perched on his back, and was also somehow on his two feet.

“Never!” Sirius roared, before sprinting away, Lily screaming and holding onto his back. James yelled and jumped off the sofa onto the coffee table, right in front of Sirius.

“Hand her over!” James said, and Sirius glared at him.

“No!”

“Don’t make me make you give her to me,” James growled, and Sirius let go of Lily’s legs around his waist, causing her to scream and clutch her knees on his hips, as he raised his fists in front of his face.

“Bring it,” Sirius growled. Lily looked over at Remus, alarmed, to see him chuckling and shaking his head.

“It’s on Evil Sir,” James said, raising his fists in front of his face and jumping off the table so he was standing right in front of Sirius.

“At least put me down,” Lily squealed.

“Listen to the lady,” James growled, and Sirius smirked.

“You sure about that? If I put her down I can beat you,” Sirius said, and James snorted.

“As if,” James growled, and Sirius reached up and pulled Lily’s hands apart, causing her to scream and fall to the floor on her bum.

“Sirius!” she yelled. Remus smirked and slid off his armchair, and helped Lily onto her feet.

“Come here, it’s easier,” he said, “Plus, we have a good view,” he added, plopping her onto the sofa, “And in case you get concerned, they’re acting,” he said, and Lily quirked a brow at him, “Apparently it’s fun.”

“I know they’re acting,” she said, rolling her eyes, “And they’re both incredibly stupid.”

“And entertaining,” Remus said, and Lily grinned.

“Ready?” Sirius said, and James nodded.

“Ready.”

“No! Stop, stop, stop!” Lily said, standing up, and placing a hand on each of their chests.

“But Lily love,” James said, looking down at her, “We’re fighting for you!”

“Yes, what he said,” Sirius said.

“No,” she said, looking between the two of them, “I forbid you.”

“You _forbid_ us, eh?” Sirius smirked.

“I’ve never fancied you more,” James said, wrapping his arms around her waist and dropping a kiss on her nose.

“Enough of this!” Remus laughed, as James moved further down from Lily’s nose.

“I’m nauseated,” Sirius said, and James pulled away from Lily, to look at him over her head.

“That’s rather hypocritical of you, Padfoot. Wasn’t it _you_ who brought that bird up to the dormitory last month? And we had to all pretend we were asleep while you two-”

“Did things,” Remus finished in a disgusted tone.

“You _did things_ in a dormitory full of people?” Lily asked, bewildered.

“It’s the mark of true friendship,” Sirius said.

“That we didn’t say anything?” James said

“No, that we didn’t throw up,” Remus said, and Lily and James laughed as Sirius’ jaw dropped.

“Oi!”

“You don’t get to oi,” Remus said, holding a hand up, “There were noises.”

“Noises?” Lily squawked, “You’re disgusting,” she said to Sirius, who pouted.

“I think the only way to make it up is to let me do the same thing,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius groaned.

“No,” Remus said, shaking his head, “This would be worse. We’d know who both of you were.”

“Kill joy,” James muttered, and Lily slapped his chest.

“Bad,” she said, and James grinned.

“Will you call me that in the sack?” he asked, and Lily glared at him as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“You’re a disgusting pervert,” Lily giggled, turning around and sitting down on the armchair.

“You’re not going to sit with me after my chivalry?” James whined, and Lily shook her head.

“Knowing you, you’ll drag me up to your dormitory to do the things you were insinuating,” she said, and James winked roguishly, causing her cheeks to blaze red.

**“"But we're not six hundred years old," Ron reminded her. "Anyway, what are you studying for, you already know it all."”**

“Wow, I forgot what was happening,” Remus laughed.

“We should really talk less after sentences,” Lily agreed, and James smirked.

“We can do other things,” he said, and Lily shot him a glare as Sirius and James sniggered madly.

“So, Ron,” Lily said, in an obvious attempt to change the subject, earning her three sets of snickers, “think he realizes that you still have to study for everything?”

“No, because that’s not true,” Sirius said, and Lily glared

“Yes it is-”

“Lily, Sirius!” Remus said, snapping his fingers, “Shut up.”

“Oi!”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh Merlin,” Remus said, rolling his eyes as James laughed and the other two glared at him.

“I think what Remus is trying to say,” James said, “Is that we need to keep reading so we don’t forget, yes?” he said, looking at Remus, who nodded enthusiastically, “So we’re going to do just that.”

“So forceful,” Lily muttered, and he winked at her.

**“"What am I studying for? Are you crazy?”**

“I don’t appreciate the implication,” Sirius huffed, and Remus quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Because she was talking to you?” he asked, frowning.

“No, because she insulted me!”

“How so?” Remus asked, rolling his eyes at Lily, who hid a laugh behind her hand.

“Because he’s my minion!”

“That doesn’t mean he _is_ you,” Remus snorted, and Sirius glared.

“He might as well be!”

“Poor sod,” James sighed, and Sirius scowled as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“You realize we need to pass these exams to get into the second year. They're very important, I should have started studying a month ago, I don't know what's gotten into me..."”**

“Oh yes, whatever has gotten into you?” Sirius deadpanned.

“Crazy children,” James said sympathetically, placing his hand over his heart and shaking his head pityingly.

“You’re all insolent bloody berks,” Lily muttered, and the two gasped as Remus snorted with laughter.

**“Unfortunately, the teachers seemed to be thinking along the same lines as Hermione.”**

“As they always do,” James sighed sadly.

“Is that resentment I hear?” Lily teased, and James turned to her.

“Yes, yes it is,” he grinned, blowing her a kiss, which she pretended to shoo away with her hand.

**“They piled so much homework on them that the Easter holidays weren't nearly as much fun as the Christmas ones.”**

“They never are kid, they never are,” Remus sighed, and the others chuckled.

“Agreed. I hate Easter holidays,” Lily said, and James gasped magnificently.

“You? Not liking homework?” he gasped, and both Sirius and Remus laughed as Lily shot him an irritated look.

“Got a problem with that, do you Potter?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow, and James smirked.

“You’re my problem.”

“No, you’re _my_ problem,” Lily said, and James smirked.

“Am I really?” he teased, and Remus groaned.

“For the love of… _please…_ enough of this!” he cried, hiding his face in his hands, and the couple laughed.

“For the love of please?” Sirius smirked, and Remus glared at him.

“I said ‘for the love of’ and then ‘please’,” Remus said, and Sirius smirked.

“For the love of please?” he asked, and Remus huffed irritably, crossing his arms, causing Lily and James to laugh.

**“It was hard to relax with Hermione next to you reciting the twelve uses of dragon's blood or practicing wand movements.”**

“Seriously, why did we ever need to know those things?” James asked, and Lily sighed

“It’s part of a full rounded education!”

“That’s the excuse,” he said, rolling his eyes, “But tell me, when am I _ever_ going to be caring about the twelve uses of dragon blood?”

“Well, you’ll care if you’re a Healer,” she said, and he snorted.

“But I don’t want to be a Healer, I want to be an Auror,” he said, and she shrugged.

“Well you may need to know them, since one of the uses is deadly,” she said, and Sirius snorted.

“How do you remember this?” he asked, and she shrugged.

“I studied.”

“When? Last night?” he shot back, and Lily rolled her eyes as the three boys laughed.

**“Moaning and yawning, Harry and Ron spent most of their free time in the library with her, trying to get through all their extra work.”**

“Those poor souls!” Sirius gasped.

“My poor baby,” James cooed, shaking his head sadly.

“Are they drunk?” Lily asked Remus, who snorted.

“Who knows.” **  
**

**“"I'll never remember this," Ron burst out one afternoon, throwing down his quill and looking longingly out of the library window.”**

“You wont,” James agreed.

“You’ll forget it as soon as you write it down mate,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted.

“Only if you study the night before and don’t understand a single bit of it,” he said, and the other two turned to glare at him.

“I understood everything,” James snorted, “I didn’t need to study.”

“Did you fail?” Lily teased, and James smirked.

“No, I got 99% thanks,” he winked, and the other two laughed as Lily’s jaw dropped.

“WHAT?” she squawked, and James winked, “Without studying?”

“I told you I was a genius,” he said, “impressed?”

Lily rolled her eyes, “Completely. I’m holding back from mauling you right now,” she said, voice dripping with sarcasm, and both Sirius and Remus guffawed as James’ eyes twinkled.

“I got all O’s on my O.W.L.S,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Oh James. Please stop,” she deadpanned, and James chuckled.

**“It was the first really fine day they'd had in months. The sky was a clear, forget-me-not blue, and there was a feeling in the air of summer coming.”**

“Hey!” Sirius squeaked, “It’s the return of the poet master!”

“And it’s the return of the scary Sirius,” Remus sighed under his breath, and Lily, being the only one who heard, giggled. **  
**

**“Harry, who was looking up "Dittany" in One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, didn't look up until he heard Ron say, "Hagrid! What are you doing in the library?"”**

“Ahh remember when you had to look up the word ‘dittany’?” Sirius asked, grinning like a fool.

“I never did,” Lily beamed, and the boys shot her exasperated looks.

“So you just knew everything?” James asked, and Lily smirked.

“Impressed?” she asked, mimicking him, and he laughed.

“Completely. I’m holding back from mauling you right now,” he said, and Lily laughed, throwing her head back.

“What’s Hagrid doing in the library?” Remus asked, still chuckling slightly.

“Are you discriminating against Hagrid?” Sirius asked, and Remus rolled his eyes.

“No, I was just asking.”

“Well, then I don’t know,” Sirius shrugged.

“I bet he’d look completely out of place,” Lily giggled, and James snorted.

“I found the discriminator!” James announced, pointing at Lily, who squeaked as Sirius turned to glare at her.

“LILIAN!”

“Lillian?” she giggled, and Sirius flushed as James and Remus laughed.

“Yes, Lillian.”

“You’re insane,” she laughed, shaking her head fondly.

**“Hagrid shuffled into view, hiding something behind his back. He looked very out of place in his moleskin overcoat.**

“And you passed your discriminatory tendencies to your son?” Sirius hissed, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“Yes, it’s all part of my diabolical scheme,” she said, ad Sirius smirked.

“And what is that?”

“I cant tell you, or you’ll try and stop me,” she said, and Sirius chuckled.

“That pure evil, eh?” James teased, and Lily nodded.

“For the love of please, don’t hurt me,” Sirius said, winking at Remus, who rolled his eyes up to the ceiling as James and Lily laughed.

**“"Jus' lookin'," he said, in a shifty voice that got their interest at once.”**

“Oh. I’m not suspicious at all,” Remus deadpanned, and Lily laughed

“Honestly, nobody’s ‘jus’ lookin’’ when they’re in the library,” she snorted, and the three boys turned to her, their expressions ranging from amused to curious.

“My, my Lillian, do you know something?” Sirius asked, wagging his brows, and Lily smirked.

“Honey, you cant spend as much time in the library as I do and not know things,” she winked, and Sirius grinned wolfishly.

“And what are these things?” James asked, smirking.

“Well,” Lily said, crossing her legs, “People who claim to just be looking are either studying,” she said, and the three boys snorted, “hiding from friends,” she continued, and the boys chuckled, “Or meeting someone for a snog plus a little more,” she finished with a sparkle in her eyes.

“And what is this little more you speak of?” James asked, leaning forwards.

“I’d love to say I had no idea,” she said, and then inhaled, a naughty twinkle in her eye, “But that’d make me a liar and a hypocrite.”

In response to her comment, Sirius and Remus hooted in a way that made her cheeks flame red, and James quirked a threatening brow at her.

“Evans, Evans, Evans,” Sirius smirked, “What have you been doing in the library?”

“Just looking,” she winked, and Sirius and Remus snickered. She looked over at James, who looked slightly crazed, and winked at him, emitting an exasperated chuckle.

“You’ll be the death of me,” he said, shaking his head, and Lily laughed.

“Don’t worry James,” she said, grinning, “You can look in the library too.”

“Will you help me?” he asked, winking, and Lily shrugged playfully.

“We’ll see,” she said, coyly flipping her hair, and both Sirius and Remus laughed as James smirked.

**“"An' what're you lot up ter?" He looked suddenly suspicious.”**

“Er, what about?” Sirius asked, frowning.

“Nicholas Flamel, obviously,” Remus said, rolling his eyes

“Yes, but if the information is in the library it’s hardly something to be suspicious about. I mean, come on,” Sirius snorted, “Anybody could figure it out.”

“Well actually,” Lily said, “They found out via chocolate frog cards.”

“They could just ban those,” James said, and Lily spluttered.

“What?” she squeaked, “Ban chocolate frogs?” she said, looking at James, “Are you insane?”

“Lillian love, do you have a thing for chocolate frogs?” Sirius asked, and Lily flushed.

“Er, no,” Lily said, looking at Remus, who grinned.

“We should start a chocolate club,” he said happily, and Lily shook her head fondly as the three boys laughed.

**“"Yer not still lookin' fer Nicolas Flamel, are yeh?"”**

James threw Sirius a mocking look, “Told you.”

“Shut up you arrogant toerag,” Sirius said bitterly, and James dropped his jaw as Remus and Lily laughed.

“I’m very proud of you,” Lily laughed.

“Someone has to carry on the tradition, considering you’re not going to be calling him an arrogant toerag any time soon,” Sirius said, and James grinned.

“Oh don’t count on that,” Lily said, giggling, “I can still call him a toerag,” she said, shrugging.

“Yeah, when they’re in the sack,” Sirius coughed, and Lily shook her head fondly as Remus snickered and James winked at her, hi-fiving Sirius.

**“"Oh, we found out who he is ages ago," said Ron impressively. "And we know what that dog's guarding, it's a Sorcerer's St -"**

**"Shhhh!" Hagrid looked around quickly to see if anyone was listening.”**

“Stupid child!” James hissed, “He almost gave it away!”

“OI! I don’t call your minion stupid,” Sirius said, and James quirked an eyebrow at him.

“I wasn’t aware I had a minion.”

“Yes you do! You have Harry!” Sirius said and Lily squeaked.

“Excuse me,” she said, “Why does _he_ get Harry?” she asked, and Sirius sighed.

“Because Harry looks just like him,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Yes, but we’ve established that he got everything from me,” she said, “Therefore he should be _my_ minion.”

“Someone’s getting possessive,” James grumbled, and Lily beamed at him as Remus and Sirius laughed. **  
**

**“"Don' go shoutin' about it, what's the matter with yeh?"”**

“Merlin! Even Hagrid is banging on my minion!” Sirius pouted.

“Ohs noes, what has the world come to?” Remus deadpanned, and James and Lily laughed as Sirius glared at him.

“I can’t wait till _you_ have children,” Sirius said, “I’ll be so mean to them,” he said devilishly, and Remus snorted.

“Doubt it,” Lily said, “Knowing you, you’ll probably be dead or in Azkaban,” she said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her as Remus and James laughed.

“I assure you love,” Sirius said, winking at her, “As long as I have you around to keep me in check, I shant have to go to Azkaban.”

**“"There are a few things we wanted to ask you, as a matter of fact," said Harry, "about what's guarding the Stone apart from Fluffy -"**

**"SHHHH!" said Hagrid again.”**

“Stupid child!” Sirius hissed, and James glared at him.

“Oi!”

“Now you know how it feels,” Sirius said smugly, and James pretended to cry as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“"Listen - come an' see me later, I'm not promisin' I'll tell yeh anythin', mind, but don' go rabbitin' about it in here, students aren' s'pposed ter know. They'll think I've told yeh --"**

**"See you later, then," said Harry.”**

“That little cheeky child cut him off,” Lily said, shaking her head exasperatedly.

“He went on you didn’t he?” James said innocently, and Lily turned her head to glare at him causing the others to laugh.

“I didn’t say that!” Lily laughed, and James smirked.

“Actually, you said, I quote, ‘got everything’ from you,” James said, and Lily glared at him.

“I didn’t say that,” she said bluntly, and the others laughed

“Yes, love, you did,” Sirius said, winking, and Lily pouted

“Why are you all so mean to me?” she asked, and James grinned

“I know how you can make it up,” he winked, and she huffed as Sirius and Remus snickered.

“See what I have to put up with?” she asked Remus, who laughed.

“Sweetheart, we’ve done it for years, you’re only on, what, your third day?” he asked, and Lily groaned, resting her head on her knees. **  
**

**“Hagrid shuffled off.”**

“Oh honestly Hagrid lift your feet,” Lily bit out, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Someone’s testy,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a glare.

“I don’t like losing,” she said, and James grinned.

“I don’t either.”

“Well you should get used to losing then,” she said, and James smirked.

“Not likely Evans.”

“Fine, Potter.”

“Well this should be an interesting relationship,” Remus smirked, resting his hands behind his head and Sirius barked a laugh. **  
**

**“"What was he hiding behind his back?" said Hermione thoughtfully.”**

“He was hiding something behind his back?” Remus said, eyebrows high.

“What could it be?” Lily said thoughtfully, tapping her chin.

“ITS THE STONE!” Sirius bellowed, and the others laughed

“I’m sure it was,” Lily said, rolling her eyes.

**“"Do you think it had anything to do with the Stone?"”**

“My thoughts exactly, young Harry,” James said, and Lily quirked an eyebrow at him.

“How do you know Harry asked that?” she asked, and James wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“It’s a father-son bond,” James said, and Lily laughed.

“Cute,” she said, twirling her hair in her finger, smiling at James, whose eyes twinkled.

“You think I’m cute Evans?” he asked, smiling, and Lily shrugged.

“We’ll see,” she said, and James grinned.

“Yes we will.”

**“"I'm going to see what section he was in," said Ron, who'd had enough of working. He came back a minute later with a pile of books in his arms and slammed them down on the table.”**

“Smart boy,” Sirius said, grinning, “Eh?” he turned to James, who rolled his eyes.

“Are you attempting to compliment yourself?” James asked, and Sirius placed his hand on his heart.

“My good sir! How could you utilize this opportunity, when I am bursting with pride due to my minion, to accuse me of elevating my self esteem?” Sirius gasped, and James rolled his eyes

“Oh don’t act all innocent, we both know that’s what you were doing,” James said, and Sirius beamed.

“Only because you know me too well,” Sirius winked, and James smirked.

“Mate, we have to keep our relationship secret. Lily’s right there,” James said, nodding towards Lily, who rolled her eyes.

“Really you two, how could you do this to me?” she deadpanned, wiping off an imaginary tear.

“Honestly, you made the lady cry!” Remus chastised, wagging his finger at the two boys, who pouted.

“So sorry maiden,” Sirius said, bowing down to her.

“We’ll go look in the library to make it up,” James said, nodding his head, and Lily threw him a blank look as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter. **  
**

**“"Dragons!" he whispered. "Hagrid was looking up stuff about dragons! Look at these: _Dragon Species of Great Britain and Ireland; From Egg to Inferno_ , _A Dragon Keeper's Guide_." **

**"Hagrid's always wanted a dragon, he told me so the first time I ever met him, " said Harry.**

“Hagrid and his dragons,” Lily sighed, shaking her head exasperatedly.

“What would you know about Hagrid and his dragons?” James asked, and Lily laughed.

“You really think he lets _me_ talk _every time_ I visit him?” she asked, and James quirked an eyebrow.

“How often do you go down there?” he asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Quite often.”

“Jealous?” Sirius teased, and James threw him a sarcastic look.

“Is Hagrid considering buying a dragon?” Remus asked, and Lily gasped.

“No!” she said, “He can't! It’s against the law!”

“Look whose true colours have finally shone,” James said, voice laced with amusement.

“Oi, rude,” Lily said, glaring at him, and he grinned at her.

“Also, sweetheart,” Remus said, turning to Lily, “You really think rules are going to stop Hagrid?” he asked, and Lily shrugged.

“They should!” she squeaked, “There’s only so much he can have on his record! Any more and he’ll be in _so_ much trouble!” she squeaked.

“Also,” James said, completely ignoring Lily, “Since when do you call her sweetheart?”

“Don’t really know,” Remus shrugged, “Just kind of caught on,” he said, and grinned at the affronted Lily

“Did you just _ignore_ me?” she squeaked, glowering at James, who grinned.

“You were talking about rules, love. You really think I’d listen?” he asked, and she shook her head fondly as Sirius and Remus laughed. **  
**

**“"But it's against our laws," said Ron. "Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks' Convention of 1709, everyone knows that. It's hard to stop Muggles from noticing us if we're keeping dragons in the back garden - anyway, you can't tame dragons, it's dangerous. You should see the burns Charlie's got off wild ones in Romania."”**

“Hey look! He has a brain!” Lily said, grinning at Sirius, who gasped as Remus and James guffawed.

“Lillian!” he yelled, “I have a brain!”

“Of course you do honey,” she said condescendingly, smiling sweetly.

“I hate your girlfriend,” he said to James, who snorted.

“I’ll deal with her later,” he said, winking at Lily, who flushed.

**“"But there aren't wild dragons in Britain." said Harry.”**

“Poor, innocent, naïve, child,” Sirius said, shaking his head sadly.

“Don’t make me hurt you,” Lily said, quirking an eyebrow at Sirius, who grinned at her.

“I’m frightened,” Sirius said, and Lily beamed.

“You should be.”

“I am!” Sirius countered, and James and Remus laughed.

“Evidently not as much as you should be,” James said, as Lily grinned at Sirius.

“We’ll see,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled.

“Oh yes we will.”

“Is that the phrase of the day?” Remus asked, “We’ll see?”

“Yes,” Lily said happily, “and I started it.”

“Well that’s a little conceited of you,” James said, and Lily shrugged.

“I learn from the best,” she said, winking at James, who stuck his tongue out at her. **  
**

**“"Of course there are," said Ron. "Common Welsh Green and Hebridean Blacks. The Ministry of Magic has a job hushing them up, I can tell you.”**

“Hey! The Ministry of Magic does stuff?” Lily asked, and the boys laughed.

**“Our kind have to keep putting spells on Muggles who've spotted them, to make them forget."**

**"So what on earth’s Hagrid up to?" said Hermione.”**

“Best minion ever,” Lily said happily, “she asks all my questions for me.”

“Because you could totally ask them,” James said, and Lily shot him a glare.

“No library for you,” she said, and James pouted as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“But we were going to look!”

“Remus,” she said, nodding to him, and he grinned, before turning to James.

“We’ll see,” Remus said, and Sirius and Lily laughed as James shook his head fondly.

“So you’re adopting the catch phrase?” James asked, and Remus nodded happily

**“When they knocked on the door of the gamekeeper's hut an hour later, they were surprised to see that all the curtains were closed.”**

“Well that never happens,” Lily frowned.

“Think he’s okay in there?” Remus asked, and Sirius snorted.

“Better yet, think his dragon’s alright?” he asked, casing Lily and Remus to frown

“He doesn’t have a dragon in there…” Lily trailed off, her statement coming out as more of a question.

“Of course he does,” James chuckled, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, “this is Hagrid we’re talking about love,” he said, grinning at Lily, who sighed exasperatedly and shook her head.

“That crazy person,” she said, and Sirius gasped.

“Lillian!”

“Oh put a sock in it,” she muttered, and Sirius gaped as James and Remus laughed.

**“Hagrid called "Who is it?"”**

“It’s me!”

“Sirius, shut up.”

**“before he let them in, and then shut the door quickly behind them.”**

“Because that’s not suspicious at all,” James snorted, and the others laughed.

“Sirius, why are you pouting?” Lily asked exasperatedly, and Sirius sniffed.

“You told me to shut up,” he said, and Lily giggled.

“Did I hurt your feelings?” she asked, and he nodded, pouting, “But I always tell you to shut up!”

“There’s only so many shut ups a guy can take,” Sirius said dramatically, and Lily shook her head fondly as Remus and James chuckled.

“Well, then I’m sorry,” she said, and Sirius smiled.

“You’re welcome,” he said, and the other three snorted.

“Really? I’m welcome? For apologizing?” she laughed, and Sirius nodded happily.

“I didn’t know what else to say!”

“It’s okay, how about?” Lily suggested, and Sirius flushed.

“I was going to say that,” he said, and the others laughed.

**“It was stifling hot inside. Even though it was such a warm day, there was a blazing fire in the grate. Hagrid made them tea and offered them stoat sandwiches, which they refused.”**

“That’s smart,” Lily nodded, “I can never turn down his food.”

“Because it’s oh-so-scrumptious?” James asked with a quirked brow

“No, because she’s far too nice,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed.

“It’s rude!” she protested, and Sirius gestured to her, as if to say ‘see?’

**“"So - yeh wanted to ask me somethin'?"**

**"Yes," said Harry. There was no point beating around the bush. "We were wondering if you could tell us what's guarding the Sorcerer's Stone apart from Fluffy." Hagrid frowned at him.”**

“Very blunt,” James said, nodding his head.

“Is that approval?” Remus asked, and James grinned

“Yes, yes it is.”

“Honestly are they too stupid to figure these things out on their own?” Sirius asked, “I mean, the obvious answers are probably true! They’re obvious for a reason!”

“He has a point, shockingly enough,” Lily said, and Sirius beamed at her, “I mean, spells and enchantments, isn’t that pretty much it?”

“Maybe a few obstacles,” Sirius said, and Lily conceded.

“Well, they’re trying to find out specifics,” James said, “And for that they need inside information.”

“Because Hagrid would have that?” Lily asked, and James shrugged.

“He did have the responsibility of bringing the stone,” James said

“Yes, but that’s all he had to do,” Remus said, and James shrugged.

“I don’t know, I’m just saying,” he said.

“James Potter? The James Potter? Not knowing what to say?” Lily gasped, and James rolled his eyes fondly as the others laughed.

**“"O' course I can't,’’ he said. "Number one, I don' know meself.”**

Lily shot James a look, to which he responded to by sticking his tongue out at her.

**“Number two, yeh know too much already, so I wouldn' tell yeh if I could. That stone's here fer a good reason. It was almost stolen outta Gringotts - I s'ppose yeh've worked that out an' all. Beats me how yeh even know abou' Fluffy."”**

“I have never seen Hagrid so…forceful,” Sirius said, cocking his head to the side.

“I have,” Lily shuddered, “He can be cruel when he wants to.”

“REALLY?” Sirius asked, sitting up straighter, “How so?”

“I am not at liberty to say,” Lily said, and crossed her arms.

“Come on Lily!” Sirius whined, and she shook her head

“I made a promise.”

“Promises are made to be broken!” he insisted, and Lily laughed.

“No, Sirius, I believe that’s rules,” she said, and he pouted, turning to James.

“Do something!”

“What?” James asked, and Sirius shrugged.

“Something!”

“Thanks mate, that really clarifies everything,” he deadpanned, and the others laughed.

**“"Oh, come on, Hagrid, you might not want to tell us, but you _do_ know, you know everything that goes on round here," said Hermione in a warm, flattering voice. Hagrid's beard twitched and they could tell he was smiling. "We only wondered who had done the guarding, really." Hermione went on. "We wondered who Dumbledore had trusted enough to help him, apart from you." Hagrid's chest swelled at these last words. Harry and Ron beamed at Hermione.”**

“Ah, I see they’ve learned that Hagrids the most compliant after you get some flattery in,” Remus said, and the other three snickered.

“No matter how much I may resent her,” Sirius said, earning an eye roll from Lily, “she’s smart.”

“You don’t hate her,” she said under her breath, and Sirius grinned.

“I know, I was talking about you,” he winked, and Lily glared at him as James and Remus laughed.

“At least you think I’m smart,” Lily said happily, and Sirius’ expression fell.

“Why do I say these things?” he asked James, who only chuckled. **  
**

**“"Well, I don' s'pose it could hurt ter tell yeh that... let's see... he borrowed Fluffy from me... then some o' the teachers did enchantments... Professor Sprout -- Professor Flitwick -- Professor McGonagall --" he ticked them off on his fingers, "Professor Quirrell -- an' Dumbledore himself did somethin', o' course. Hang on, I've forgotten someone. Oh yeah, Professor Snape."”**

“It was really that easy?” James asked, eyebrow quirk.

“I knew flattery worked, but not to that extent,” Remus said, blinking quickly

“Oh come on,” Lily said, rolling her eyes, “he hasn’t said _that_ much.”

“He told them all the teachers who performed enchantments!” Sirius protested, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Yes, and they’re the obvious teachers,” she said, “Honestly, that’s guessable.”

“Oh really?” Sirius said, “How so?”

“Really! Come on, what are the main classes, hm? Herbology, Charms, Transfiguration, Defense and Potions,” she said, counting them off on her fingers, “All he’s done in list those teachers!”

“She has a point,” James said.

“Stop agreeing with her!” Sirius hissed, and James snorted.

“Pads, I _never_ agree with her, unless it comes to touring a library,” he said, and Lily sighed exasperatedly as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“I should’ve never mentioned that,” she muttered, and Remus sniggered.

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

**“"Snape?"”**

“Oh,” Sirius said, expression falling, “Bugger.”

“I completely forgot he was trying to steal the stone,” Remus said, clapping his hand to his forehead.

“And all he needs is to crack Quirrell, right?” Lily said, and the boys nodded, “So he knows what McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout and Dumbledore have done?”

“Doubt he knows about Dumbledore,” James reasoned, “But probably the others.”

“Well who knows?” Remus asked, “I mean, if they trust Snape, he might know everything.”

“That’s also true,” Lily said, looking slightly pale.

“But wait,” James said, holding up a hand, “If the teachers trust each other and were all for sharing, why wouldn’t he know what Quirrell’s thing was?”

“Well, maybe he does,” Lily said, “No, wait listen. I mean, maybe he knows what the general gist of it is, but doesn’t know how to beat it, and that’s what he wants from Quirrell?” she suggested, and Sirius nodded.

“That’s probably what it is,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“But that makes no sense,” James said, frowning, “Snapes in love with the dark arts, you think he’d know about them,” he said, and Remus shrugged.

“Maybe he does, but just needs a password or something,” he said, “And could’ve asked any teacher, but Quirrell’s the easiest,” he finished, and James nodded.

“That’s probably what it is,” he agreed, “What do you think Lil? Considering you know him best and all?”

“I think that’s probably it,” she sighed, tying her hair into a messy knot.

**“"Yeah -- yer not still on abou' that, are yeh?”**

“Yes, they are,” said Sirius

“Honestly, the teachers should be more suspicious about him,” James said, and Lily shrugged.

“They trust each other.”

“Yes, and they shouldn’t trust Snape,” Sirius finished.

**“Look, Snape helped protect the Stone, he's not about ter steal it."”**

“You’re singing an old tune, dear Hagrid,” Sirius said sadly.

“Thank Merlin my kid’s smarter than that,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Yours isn’t,” she said, “But mine is,” she added with a grin, causing Sirius and Reus to laugh as James shook his head fondly, fighting a laugh.

**“Harry knew Ron and Hermione were thinking the same as he was. If Snape had been in on protecting the Stone, it must have been easy to find out how the other teachers had guarded it. He probably knew everything - except, it seemed, Quirrell's spell and how to get past Fluffy.”**

“Hey! We forgot to factor Fluffy in!” Lily said, and the boys snorted.

“I bet that’s the hardest obstacle,” Sirius said, and Remus shook his head.

“Doubt it,” he said, “This is Hagrids pet. It’s probably scary looking but soft once it’s not trying to kill you,” he said, and the others laughed.

“Sounds about right,” James chuckled. **  
**

**"You're the only one who knows how to get past Fluffy, aren't you, Hagrid?" said Harry anxiously. "And you wouldn't tell anyone, would you? Not even one of the teachers?"**

**"Not a soul knows except me an' Dumbledore," said Hagrid proudly.”**

“Well, that’s something,” James said, and the others nodded.

**""Well, that's something," Harry muttered to the others.”**

James blinked, before he burst out laughing, “I told you about that father-son thing,” he said to Lily, who only shook her head, laughing.

“I can see that,” she laughed.

“Still cute?” he asked, and Lily sighed.

“I suppose,” she said, and James froze, before beaming at her.

“Lily Evans, did you just call me cute?”

“No,” she said, “I called the situation cute,” she winked, and James smirked knowingly.

“‘Course you did,” he winked.

“I did!”

“Okay, sure Evans.”

“You’re incorrigible,” she muttered, and James turned to Sirius

“Looks like the insults aren’t dying out,” he said, and Sirius snorted as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“"Hagrid, can we have a window open? I'm boiling."**

**"Can't, Harry, sorry," said Hagrid. Harry noticed him glance at the fire. Harry looked at it, too.”**

“Oh no,” Lily sighed, crossing her legs, bracing herself.

“So dramatic Evans,” Sirius said, and she shot him a look.

“It’s _dangerous_.”                                                              

“I’m dangerous,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed. **  
**

**“"Hagrid - what's that?" But he already knew what it was. In the very heart of the fire, underneath the kettle, was a huge, black egg.”**

“Hagrid,” Lily chastised, shaking her head slowly

“Well Lillian, looks like Hagrids more ours than yours,” Sirius said proudly, and Lily snorted.

“If by yours you mean rule breaking and irresponsible, not to mention down right stupid, I’ll graciously agree,” she said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as James and Remus snickered.

“Wonder what it’s like,” James mused, and Lily shot him a look

“Don’t encourage it!”

“Sorry dear,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at his grinning face as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“"Ah," said Hagrid, fiddling nervously with his beard, "That's er..."”**

“That’s right Hagrid,” Lily said, “Be guilty.”

“Calm down woman!” James laughed, “He’s only got a dragon egg!”

“ _Only_?” she squawked, “It’s _illegal_ James!”

“Hagrid wont go to Azkaban, he’s got Dumbledore,” James countered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Of course, that makes it all better,” she said, and James winked.

“Of course it does,” he said, “Always have to have your alibi,” he winked, and Lily huffed, fighting off a smile as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“"Where did you get it, Hagrid?" said Ron, crouching over the fire to get a closer look at the egg. "It must've cost you a fortune!"”**

“Don’t tell me you’re interested,” Lily threatened, and Sirius smirked.

“Trust me love, my minion is too smart to tell you these things,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James laughed.

“It’s a figure of speech,” Remus said, and Lily nodded enthusiastically.

“ _Thank_ you Remus,” she said, and Remus shrugged, “I knew I picked wrong,” she said, grinning at James, who quirked a dangerous eyebrow towards Remus, who shook his head fondly.

**“"Won it," said Hagrid.”**

“ _Won_ it?” Sirius laughed, “What kind of games are you playing Hagrid?”

“Who carried dragon eggs in their pockets?” James asked, and Sirius shrugged

“Serious gamblers?” he suggested, and James rolled his eyes at Sirius’ cheeky smile.

“Person’s probably dangerous or something,” James mused, biting his lip.

“Maybe it’s Voldemort,” Sirius said, and the others snorted.

“Yeah”

“Okay Sirius”

“As _if_ ”

**“"Las' night. I was down in the village havin' a few drinks”**

“Of course you were,” Lily said, and the boys snickered.

**“an' got into a game o' cards with a stranger. Think he was quite glad ter get rid of it, ter be honest."”**

“Well why wouldn’t he be?” Remus asked, alarmed, “he’s carrying a bleeding _illegal_ DRAGON egg in his pocket,” he said, and Lily nodded along with him.

“I think Lillian here is having a bad effect on our Remus,” Sirius said to James, who shook his head sadly

“This must be stopped,” James agreed, and both Lily and Remus rolled their eyes as James and Sirius grinned at each other.

**“"But what are you going to do with it when it's hatched?" said Hermione.”**

“Yes, good question Hermione,” Remus said, “What _is_ he going to do?”

“Probably keep it,” James said, and Lily squeaked.

“ _Keep_ it? Is he insane? You know how _big_ dragons grow to be?” she asked, and the boys nodded.

“I know, but what else do you expect? This is _Hagrid_ we’re talking about,” James said, and Lily huffed.

“So irritating,” she said, and the boys laughed. **  
**

**“"Well, I've bin doin' some readin'”, said Hagrid, pulling a large book from under his pillow. "Got this outta the library - _Dragon Breeding for Pleasure and Profit_ \- it's a bit outta date, o' course, but it's all in here. Keep the egg in the fire, 'cause their mothers breathe on I em, see, an' when it hatches, feed it on a bucket o' brandy mixed with chicken blood every half hour. An' see here - how ter recognize diff'rent eggs - what I got there's a Norwegian Ridgeback. They're rare, them."”**

“ _A Norwegian Ridgeback_ ,” Sirius sighed longingly, “I’ve always wanted to see one.”

“Why?” Lily asked curiously.

“My parents always loved them,” Sirius admitted, playing with a stray string on the hem of his pants, “and despite everything, the way they spoke about them with such…with such _reverence_ , I don’t know…I’ve always wanted to see one,” Sirius finished, sighing.

“Well then, we’ll just have to show you one, wont we?” James said, and Sirius’ head snapped up

“What?”

“You really think that can’t be arranged?” James teased, and Sirius’s face lit up in a gigantic grin.

“ _Really_?”

“Yes,” James said simply, grinning.

“It’s times like these when you realize just how deep their friendship runs,” Remus whispered to Lily, who smiled slightly.

“They’re really nice guys, aren’t they?” she asked, and Remus nodded.

“The best.”

**“He looked very pleased with himself, but Hermione didn't.”**

“Of course she didn’t,” Sirius chuckled.

“And with good reason,” James finished, and Lily grinned.

“Look at you, taking my side,” she said, and James shook his head fondly as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Anything for a library tour, love,” James winked, and Lily flushed.

“Why is everything about the bloody library?” she asked, and James beamed.

“Because, it’s _the library_ ,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the three boys giggled like little kids.

**“"Hagrid, you live in a _wooden house_ ," she said.”**

The four of them burst out laughing, shaking with uncontrollable mirth.

“She’s a genius that one,” James said, winking at Lily, who only shook her head, giggling.

“She’s right though,” Sirius chuckled, “What if the dragon sneezes?”

“Boys!” Lily chastised through her laughter as the three boys went into splits, “That’s so mean!”

“He brought it onto himself!” Remus protested, and Lily shook her head, grinning. **  
**

**“But Hagrid wasn't listening. He was humming merrily as he stoked the fire.”**

“It’s official, he’s gone insane,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“I thought he had no faults?”

“He doesn’t,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted, “But that is rather insane,” he said, and she shrugged

“That’s the best I’m going to get isn’t it?” she asked James, who grinned and nodded. **  
**

**“So now they had something else to worry about: what might happen to Hagrid if anyone found out he was hiding an illegal dragon in his hut?”**

“Oh no, _another_ thing to worry about?” Lily said sadly, “my poor baby.”

“Oh don’t worry,” James said, waving it off, “Alibi, remember?”

“How could I forget?” Lily bit out, and the three boys laughed. **  
**

**“"Wonder what it's like to have a peaceful life," Ron sighed, as evening after evening they struggled through all the extra homework they were getting.”**

“As long as you go to Hogwarts, you’ll never know,” Lily said bluntly, and the three boys snorted in agreement.

“Something’s _always_ happening at Hogwarts, isn’t it?” Remus mused, “Wonder why that is.”

“Because we have Dumbledore,” James said, “He’s a magnet for everything,” he said, and Sirius smirked.

“Imagine how boring life would be if we had a boring Headmaster,” he said, and then shuddered, “No pranks!”

“Why wouldn’t you pull pranks?” Lily asked, and James sighed

“Dumbledore excuses us,” he explained, “To be honest I think he enjoys the pranks,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“I bet he does,” she nodded, “And I suppose you’re right, you wouldn’t be able to pull half the stuff you do if it was anyone else,” she agreed, and the boys nodded.

“He even helps with pranks from time to time,” Sirius sniggered, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up

“No way!”

“He does!” Sirius insisted, grinning, “he told us to use goo instead of juice to flood the Slytherin Common Room,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“Sounds very Dumbledore-ish,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“Hermione had now started making study schedules for Harry and Ron, too. It was driving them nuts.”**

“Merlin, what a pain,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“Well you’ll have to get used to it Sirius,” she said, “Because I’ve already planned your study schedule out,” she said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped.

“You haven’t,” he said, and she grinned.

“I have.”

“Oh Merlin,” Sirius groaned, hiding his face, and Lily giggled as James and Remus snorted.

 **“Then, one breakfast time, Hedwig brought Harry another note from Hagrid.**  
  
He had written only two words: _It's hatching.”_

“Oh good lord,” Lily said.

“Why are you so against this dragon business?” Sirius asked, and she spluttered

“Because it’s dangerous? Because it’s illegal? Because Hagrid’s taking advantage of Dumbledore’s trust? Because someone could get hurt? Because it’s a _dragon_? Because Hagrid lives in a _wooden house_ with a _carnivorous vicious animal_?” she finished, looking rather frantic.

“Eh,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily squeaked, turning to James with an alarmed expression, causing him to burst out laughing. **  
**

**“Ron wanted to skip Herbology and go straight down to the hut. Hermione wouldn't hear of it.”**

“Swot,” Sirius muttered, crossing his arms moodily, “She ruins everything.”

“She right though,” Lily said sternly, “You can’t skip class!”

“You’ve never skipped class?” James asked, and Lily shook her head.

“I’m a good girl,” she said, and James’ eyes twinkled.

“Well that can be changed,” he winked, and Lily felt the blood rush to her face as Remus and Sirius laughed. **  
**

**“"Hermione, how many times in our lives are we going to see a dragon hatching?"**

**"We've got lessons, we'll get into trouble, and that's nothing to what Hagrid's going to be in when someone finds out what he's doing -"**

**"Shut up!" Harry whispered.”**

“Ronald has a point!” Sirius said, and Lily squeaked.

“ _Hermione_ has a point!”

“No she doesn’t!”

“Yes, Sirius, she _does_!”

“How about we say they both have points and settle it?” Remus suggested, and both Lily and Sirius shot him looks of utter disgust.

“No!” they yelled together, and James laughed as Remus pretended to hide.

“Come on guys,” James said, cutting off the bickering, “Let’s keep reading, eh? And Kudos to Harry for telling them to shut up.”

“Speaking of, that was rather rude,” Lily said, crossing her arms, “Why is he telling people to shut up?”

“Because they’re bickering and it’s annoying?” Remus suggested looking pointedly at Sirius and Lily, who grinned sheepishly.

**“Malfoy was only a few feet away and he had stopped dead to listen. How much had he heard? Harry didn't like the look on Malfoy's face at all.”**

“Oh no,” Remus groaned

“I really don’t like the sound of that,” Sirius said, and the others nodded.

“Hopefully he doesn’t do anything, yeah?” Lily said, and the boys snorted.

“Sweetheart, this is _Malfoy_ ,” Remus said, and Lily sighed

“A girl can dream, can she not?” she said, and the three boys grinned.

**“Ron and Hermione argued all the way to Herbology and in the end, Hermione agreed to run down to Hagrid's with the other two during morning break.”**

“Ah, the joys of compromise,” Sirius said, and held his hand out to Lily, “truce Lillian?”

“Whatever _honey_ ,” she said, shaking his hand, and Sirius scowled at the use of the pet name, causing James and Remus to laugh.

“Don’t honey me!” Sirius said, and Lily smirked

“Don’t Lillian me,” she retorted and Sirius snorted.

“Looks like I’m stuck with honey then,” he said, and Lily groaned as James and Remus laughed.

 **“When the bell sounded from the castle at the end of their lesson, the three of them dropped their trowels at once and hurried through the grounds to the edge of the forest. Hagrid greeted them, looking flushed and excited.**  
  
"It's nearly out." He ushered them inside.  
  
The egg was lying on the table. There were deep cracks in it. Something was moving inside; a funny clicking noise was coming from it.  
  
They all drew their chairs up to the table and watched with bated breath.”

“Why are you sitting so close to it?” Lily squeaked, “That’s not safe! Move back!”

“Oh, because the dragons going to jump out of the egg and maul their faces,” Sirius deadpanned, and Lily flushed as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“You never know,” she said.

“May I just say,” James said, “That that’s the longest we went throughout the chapter without saying anything?”

“I suppose it is,” Lily said, as Sirius and Remus gave themselves a massive round of applause, “This is sad, we should read faster,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Why?” Sirius asked, and she turned to glare at him.

“Because, thanks to _someone,_ I’m still pathetically empty stomached,” she said, and James smirked.

“Need some James to fill you up?” he asked, and Lily sighed as Remus and Sirius sniggered and James winked at her.

“No thank you, not my taste,” she said, grinning cheekily at him. **  
**

**“All at once there was a scraping noise and the egg split open. The baby dragon flopped onto the table. It wasn't exactly pretty; Harry thought it looked like a crumpled, black umbrella. Its spiny wings were huge compared to its skinny jet body, it had a long snout with wide nostrils, the stubs of horns and bulging, orange eyes.”**

“That sounds ghastly,” Lily shuddered.

“Are you kidding?” Sirius gasped, “It’s _beautiful_!”

“its eyes are _orange_!” she squeaked

“Isn’t it amazing?” Sirius said excitedly.

“This is coming from the boy who wants to buy a motorcycle after graduation,” Remus said to Lily, who shook her head.

“I suppose that makes sense then,” she said, and Remus chuckled.

**“It sneezed. A couple of sparks flew out of its snout.”**

“Told you sneezing would be a problem,” Lily muttered, and the boys laughed. **  
**

**“"Isn't he beautiful?" Hagrid murmured.”**

“See, Hagrids on my side,” Sirius said to Lily, who rolled her eyes

“Not something to be proud of right now Sirius,” she said, “He’s keeping an illegally owned dragon in his wooden house…not exactly the brightest idea.”

“I’m going to pretend I heard nothing,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as James and Remus laughed.

**“He reached out a hand to stroke the dragon's head. It snapped at his fingers, showing pointed fangs.”**

“Charming,” Lily muttered, and James winked at her.

“Don’t worry love, I don’t bite,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Sure you don’t,” she said, and James sighed

“Suppose I can’t promise anything,” he said, and Lily giggled.

**“"Bless him, look, he knows his mummy!" said Hagrid.”**

“…really?” Lily said, as the three boys laughed, “His mummy? Is that supposed to be an act of affection?”

“Well, James tries to kill his mother when she touches his hair,” Sirius said, “Does that count?”

“Oi!” James flushed, as Lily and Remus laughed, “That’s different!”

“Why, scared that she’ll make it look halfway decent?” Lily asked, and James quirked an eyebrow at her, “Well if you’re so testy about you hair I suppose I cant touch it either,” she said, and James snorted.

“Lil, you can do whatever you want with me,” he said, and Lily looked away from his intense gaze and suggestive tone as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

**“"Hagrid," said Hermione, "how fast do Norwegian Ridgebacks grow, exactly?" Hagrid was about to answer when the color suddenly drained from his face - he leapt to his feet and ran to the window.”**

“What? What happened?” Sirius asked stupidly, and Lily threw him a blank look.

“How about we read and find out?” James asked in a choked voice, eying his girlfriend’s irritated expression.

**“"What's the matter?"**

**"Someone was lookin' through the gap in the curtains - it's a kid - he's runnin' back up ter the school." Harry bolted to the door and looked out. Even at a distance there was no mistaking him.**  
  
Malfoy had seen the dragon.”

“Ah fuck,” Sirius said, and Lily slapped him

“Sirius! Language!”

“I’m sorry, does my swearing harm your delicate ears?” he asked, and Lily huffed.

“Yes, it does,” she said, and Sirius grinned.

“Then you’ll have to learn to deal with it Lillian.”

“James!” she whined, and James laughed

“I can’t control him any better than you can love,” he said, and Lily huffed

“Useless,” she said, and James smirked.

“Trust me, I have my uses.”

“Merlin _stop_ hitting on me!” she squeaked, covering her red cheeks as the three boys roared with laughter.

**“Something about the smile lurking on Malfoy's face during the next week made Harry, Ron, and Hermione very nervous.”**

“And with good reason,” Sirius shuddered, “Shrew doesn’t have a compassionate bone in his body.”

 **“They spent most of their free time in Hagrid's darkened hut, trying to reason with him.**  
  
"Just let him go," Harry urged. "Set him free." 

**"I can't," said Hagrid. "He's too little. He'd die."”**

“Despite my lack of affection for the dragon,” Lily said, “I agree with Hagrid.”

“WHAT?” James snorted, looking over at his girlfriend as if she’d grown four heads, “You’re _agreeing_ with _Hagrid_ over the _dragons’_ wellbeing?” he asked, and Lily nodded.

“Why?” Remus asked, and she sighed.

“It’s a baby!” she reasoned, “You can’t just throw it out! You have to make sure it’s going to be okay,” she said, and Sirius snorted

“Honestly, what is it with birds and babies?” he asked, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as he smirked.

**“They looked at the dragon. It had grown three times in length in just a week. Smoke kept furling out of its nostrils. Hagrid hadn't been doing his gamekeeping duties because the dragon was keeping him so busy. There were empty brandy bottles and chicken feathers all over the floor.”**

“Feel the urge to clean?” Sirius teased, turning to Lily, who shuddered.

“Chicken feathers all over the floor,” she shuddered, “that’s so _unsanitary_ ,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Is it dirty Lil?” James asked, and she glared at him as he winked at her.

“Filthy,” she said, and James gulped, causing Remus and Sirius to laugh. **  
**

**“"I've decided to call him Norbert," said Hagrid, looking at the dragon with misty eyes. "He really knows me now, watch. Norbert! Norbert! Where's Mummy?"”**

“Merlin he’s going insane,” Lily said, laughing nervously, “I don’t think that’s healthy.”

“I agree,” Remus snorted, “That’s ridiculous.”

“Mummy? Really? He couldn’t be daddy?” Sirius sneered, and the others laughed.

**“"He's lost his marbles," Ron muttered in Harry's ear.”**

“Precisely, thank you Ronald,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes at James, who grinned. **  
**

**“"Hagrid," said Harry loudly, "give it two weeks and Norbert's going to be as long as your house. Malfoy could go to Dumbledore at any moment!" Hagrid bit his lip.**

**"I - I know I can't keep him forever, but I can't jus' dump him, I can't."”**

“At least Hagrid has _some_ sense in him,” Lily muttered, and for once, Sirius didn’t argue her because of it.

“Well, what are they going to do then?” he asked, and Lily sighed.

“I have no idea.”

**“Harry suddenly turned to Ron. ‘‘Charlie’’, he said.”**

“‘Scusa?” Sirius said, frowning.

“Er, no, his name’s Ron,” Remus said frowning.

“Is losing your marbles contagious?” Sirius asked, and Lily snorted.

“No.”

“Honestly you’re all stupid,” James said, rolling his eyes, and the others shot him threatening looks, “Charlie is Ron’s older brother, he works with dragons in Romania,” he said, and the others’ expressions fell.

“Oh, right,” Lily said, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Now I feel like a prize idiot,” Remus muttered, and James grinned. **  
**

**“"You're losing it, too," said Ron. "I'm Ron, remember?"”**

The four of them burst out laughing.

“This kid is just too good,” James chuckled, shaking his head.

“Thank Merlin Harry has a smart and a funny friend,” Sirius said, grinning.

“So you approve of Hermione then, do you?” Lily teased

“We’ll see,” Sirius said, and Remus laughed.

“Honestly, what is it with you and catch phrases?” James asked as Remus continued to let out peals of laughter.

“Let bygones be bygones,” Sirius advised, turning back to the book.

**“"No - Charlie - your brother, Charlie. In Romania. Studying dragons. We could send Norbert to him. Charlie can take care of him and then put him back in the wild!"”**

James smiled smugly at the others.

“Honestly stop looking so smug,” Sirius muttered, “It’s like you expect us to bow down to you or something.”

“Well that would be much appreciated lowly peasant,” James said, and Sirius snorted as Lily and Remus laughed.

“I am _not_ bowing down to you,” Sirius said, and James sighed.

“What kind of kingdom doesn’t respect their king?” he asked Lily, who laughed.

“One with a rubbish king?” she suggested, and he narrowed his eyes at her playfully.

“I was _going_ to make you the queen,” he sniffed, and Lily pouted sarcastically.

“Oh no! Please forgive me your highness,” she said, and James smirked.

“Call me that in the-”

“You’re _disgusting_ ,” she said, cutting him off, and Sirius and Remus laughed as James snickered.

**“"Brilliant!" said Ron. "How about it, Hagrid?" And in the end, Hagrid agreed that they could send an owl to Charlie to ask him.”**

“Finally!” Sirius sighed, “They’re getting somewhere!”

“Well it’s about time,” Remus said, “Hagrid needed to see sense eventually.”

“Well, thank Merlin he finally has,” James said.

“How exactly are they going to get the dragon to Romania?” Lily asked, and the boys shrugged.

“You’re the mastermind here,” Sirius said, and Lily huffed

“Yes, but you’re the troublemakers, so people would turn to you lot for this,” she said, and James sighed.

“The maiden is right,” he said, and then scratched his chin, “I really have no idea.”

“We’ll have to see, wont we?” Remus said, turning the page.

**“The following week dragged by.”**

“As all school weeks do,” Sirius said, and Lily smacked him on the back of the head, causing Remus and James to laugh.

**“Wednesday night found Hermione and Harry sitting alone in the common room, long after everyone else had gone to bed. The clock on the wall had just chimed midnight”**

“Oh Merlin! Go to sleep!” Lily chastised, and the boys laughed.

“Yes mummy,” Sirius squeaked, and she turned to glare at him.

“So rude,” she sniffed, and he winked.

“It’s because I care,” he said, and she laughed.

“So this is tough love?” she asked, and Sirius smirked.

“Lillian, I can't do that for you, but I’m sure James is more than capable of some tough _love_ ,” he said, winking, and Lily flushed deep maroon as Remus sniggered and James’ eyes twinkled

 **“when the portrait hole burst open. Ron appeared out of nowhere as he pulled off Harry's invisibility cloak. He had been down at Hagrid's hut, helping him feed Norbert, who was now eating dead rats by the crate.**  
  
"It bit me!" he said, showing them his hand, which was wrapped in a bloody handkerchief. "I'm not going to be able to hold a quill for a week. I tell you, that dragon's the most horrible animal I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes on about it, you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me he told me off for frightening it. And when I left, he was singing it a lullaby."”

“It _bit_ him?” Lily squeaked, alarmed, “That’s dangerous!” she squeaked, jumping up.

“Calm down,” Sirius said, quirking a brow at James, who was regarding Lily with an amused air.

“I will not calm down,” she spat, “he got _bitten_ by a _dragon_!” she hissed, “It could be poisonous, heck it probably _is_ poisonous! How irresponsible of Hagrid, and to _yell at him_ after a bleeding dragon bit him? How bloody stupid!”

“Lil, calm down,” Remus chuckled.

“Don’t tell me to calm down Remus John Lupin,” she snapped, and Remus’ eyebrows shot up.

“You know she’s lost it when she starts full naming you,” James said, smirking, “I got this,” he said, before hopping off the sofa and grabbing Lily’s hips, making sure she couldn’t move.

“Oh, let go of me James bloody Potter,” she muttered, still furious. He grinned and kissed her lightly on her lips.

“Calm down love,” he said, and she glared at him, “Honestly, you really think Ron would die? Really?” he asked, and she huffed.

“That’s not the point!”

“I understand that,” James said quickly, before she could start yelling again, “but it’s not like Harry got bitten,” he reasoned, and Lily’s eyes darkened with fury.

“If it had been-“

“But it wasn’t!” James squeaked, kissing her forehead, “now will you shut up and sit down so we can read?”

“Fine,” she muttered, throwing herself moodily on the armchair, glaring at Sirius, who raised his eyebrows.

“What did I do?” he asked James, who only shrugged, chuckled, and took his seat.

**_“_ There was a tap on the dark window.”**

“And it’s Norbert! Come to kill them all!” Sirius announced, winking at Lily, who rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed

“Ha-ha-ha,” Lily deadpanned, and Sirius laughed.

“Such a beautiful laugh,” he said, eliciting a giggle from the redhead.

“Damn you Sirius Black.”

“Love you too Lillian.” **  
**

 **“"It's Hedwig!" said Harry, hurrying to let her in. "She'll have Charlie's answer!" The three of them put their heads together to read the note.**  
  
_Dear Ron,_

 **** _How are you? Thanks for the letter - I'd be glad to take the Norwegian Ridgeback, but it won't be easy getting him here. I think the best thing will be to send him over with some friends of mine who are coming to visit me next week. Trouble is, they mustn't be seen carrying an illegal dragon._  
  
Could you get the Ridgeback up the tallest tower at midnight on Saturday? They can meet you there and take him away while it's still dark.  
  
Send me an answer as soon as possible.  
  
Love, Charlie”

“Well that solves a lot of problems,” Lily said.

“Especially the Romania problem,” James said, and Lily beamed.

“So it’s all going to be okay?” she asked, and James smiled at her.

“Yes, it is,” he said gently, and she giggled.

“Excellent.”

 **“They looked at one another.**  
  
"We've got the invisibility cloak," said Harry. "It shouldn't be too difficult - I think the cloaks big enough to cover two of us and Norbert." It was a mark of how bad the last week had been that the other two agreed with him. Anything to get rid of Norbert-and Malfoy.”

“Oh that should be fun,” Sirius said sarcastically, “Two eleven year olds and a dragon underneath an invisibility cloak,” he said.

“The dragon would enjoy it,” Remus muttered, and Sirius snorted.

“You think?” Lily said, “I mean, if the kids are anything like James was, it wouldn’t be much fun for the dragon,” she said, and James glared at her as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Sweetheart, you’ll fit in swell,” Remus said, grinning at James, who was shaking his head sadly.

“How do I get myself into these situations?” he asked the heavens.

**“There was a hitch. By the next morning, Ron's bitten hand had swollen to twice its usual size.”**

Lily’s expression darkened. Instinctually, Sirius leaned away from her, earning chuckles from the other two.

**“He didn't know whether it was safe to go to Madam Pomfrey - would she recognize a dragon bite?”**

“Yes, probably,” James said.

“But she wouldn’t believe it,” Remus said, “Just tell her you got mauled by a dog or something,” he said, and Sirius snorted.

“Too right you are mate.”

“She’s not that easily persuadable is she?” Lily asked, and James shrugged

“She probably knows we’re lying,” he said, “but decides she doesn’t want to know.”

“Which is usually the case with us,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“I’m sure.”

**“By the afternoon, though, he had no choice. The cut had turned a nasty shade of green. It looked as if Norbert's fangs were poisonous.”**

“Told you,” Lily said, and James chuckled.

“Yes Lil-bit, you were right,” he said, and she quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Lil-bit?” she asked, and he beamed.

“Yeah, I like it,” he said, and Lily shrugged, flushing slightly.

“I think she likes it too,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled.

“Oh no, now she’s all giggly,” Remus joked, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“All girls get giggly in these situations thanks,” she said, and James chuckled

“And what situation would that be?”

“When they’re boyfriends make up nicknames for them,” she shrugged, and James beamed.

“Boyfriend?”

“Well what else would you be?” she asked, and James beamed.

“Just didn’t think I’d ever hear you say that,” he said, and Lily smiled.

“Don’t think that little of yourself Potter,” she said, and he grinned

“Enough of this,” Sirius shuddered, and the others laughed.

“I agree,” Remus said, “Save it for the library,” he winked, and the couple laughed.

“Believe me I’m saving quite a bit for the library,” James muttered, and Sirius winked at him.

**“Harry and Hermione rushed up to the hospital wing at the end of the day to find Ron in a terrible state in bed.”**

“Way to go my man,” Sirius said, and Lily scrunched her nose.

“Sirius! He’s _eleven_!”

“And?” Sirius asked, “that’s only, what, two years younger than I was?” he asked James, who snorted and nodded.

“You lost your virginity at _thirteen_?” she asked, and Sirius nodded.

“A hot thing like me, of course I did!” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, “Why Evans? When did you lose yours?”

“Oh shut up,” she said, flushing, and Sirius sniggered.

“Come on! I’ll tell you when James lost his!”

“I already know that,” she said, and James’ jaw dropped

“How?”

“It was all anyone could talk about for days,” she said, waving it off, and James rubbed his neck awkwardly.

“So you knew it was at fourteen?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Well Remus lost his at fourteen as well!” Sirius said, and Remus spluttered

“Excuse me!”

“Oh hush Remus,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled as Remus shot him a dirty look, “Now that you know when we all lost ours, its only fair we know too,” he said, and Lily sighed, shaking her head.

“Fifteen,” she said, and Sirius sniggered.

“ _Really_?” he asked, and Lily flushed, looking anywhere but at James, who was attempting to bore a hole in the side of her head, “Oh don’t worry about Prongs, he’ll get over it after the library,” Sirius said, and James snorted.

“Thanks,” she deadpanned

“So, fifteen Evans,” Sirius smirked, “Who was the lucky guy?”

“None of your business,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

“Evans!”

“Yes?” she said, quirking an eyebrow, and he sighed.

“So mean,” he pouted, and Lily laughed.

“You’ll live,” she winked. **  
**

**“"It's not just my hand," he whispered, "although that feels like it's about to fall off. Malfoy told Madam Pomfrey he wanted to borrow one of my books so he could come and have a good laugh at me. He kept threatening to tell her what really bit me - I've told her it was a dog, but I don't think she believes me -I shouldn't have hit him at the Quidditch match, that's why he's doing this."”**

“And this, boys, is why Quidditch is evil,” Lily said, and the three boys snorted

“Oh shut it Evans,” James said, and she grinned.

“Why so hostile?” she teased, and he huffed.

“I’ll get over it after the library,” he winked, and Lily shook her head in a resigned manner

“I suppose you will then,” she said, and James’ eyes widened happily

“Really?”

“Yeah whatever,” she laughed.

**“Harry and Hermione tried to calm Ron down.”**

“Key word, tried,” Sirius said darkly

**“"It'll all be over at midnight on Saturday," said Hermione, but this didn't soothe Ron at all. On the contrary, he sat bolt upright and broke into a sweat.”**

“Is he going to miss Norbert?” Remus asked, and Lily snorted

“Merlin I hope not,” she said, and the boys laughed. **  
**

**“"Midnight on Saturday!" he said in a hoarse voice. "Oh no, oh no - I've just remembered - Charlie's letter was in that book Malfoy took, he's going to know we're getting rid of Norbert!" Harry and Hermione didn't get a chance to answer. Madam Pomfrey came over at that moment and made them leave, saying Ron needed sleep.”**

“You stupid minion!” Sirius hissed, “This is why you shove important notes in you _shirt_!”

“You shove important notes in your shirt?” Lily asked, amused, and he nodded.

“Of course, where do you shove yours?” he asked, and Lily grinned.

“I’ll tell James later,” she said, and James smirked as Remus and Sirius sniggered. **  
**

**“"It's too late to change the plan now," Harry told Hermione. "We haven't got time to send Charlie another owl, and this could be our only chance to get rid of Norbert. We'll have to risk it. And we have got the invisibility cloak, Malfoy doesn't know about that."”**

“He has a point,” James said, nodding his head, “Thank Merlin they didn’t send all the details to Charlie.”

**“They found Fang, the boarhound, sitting outside with a bandaged tail when they went to tell Hagrid, who opened a window to talk to them.”**

“Why?” Lily asked, frowning.

“Probably to keep Norbert in,” James muttered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Cannot wait for them to drop the dragon off,” she said, and Sirius sniggered.

“Yeah, because when they do you two get to go off to the library,” he said, and James grinned.

“Hurry up Saturday night!” he said, clapping his hands together, and both Sirius and Remus laughed as Lily shook her head fondly. **  
**

**“"I won't let you in," he puffed. "Norbert's at a tricky stage - nothin' I can't handle."”**

“Sure Hagrid,” Lily said, rolling her eyes, “Completely believing you here.”

“We really need to work on your sarcasm problem,” Sirius said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Remus and James laughed.

**“When they told him about Charlie's letter, his eyes filled with tears, although that might have been because Norbert had just bitten him on the leg.”**

Lily squeaked, “Oh no! Is he okay?” she asked worriedly, bouncing up and down.

“I’m sure he is,” Sirius said, nodding his head fiercely, “This is Hagrid. He probably gets bites all the time.”

“Plus his giant blood probably helps,” Remus reasoned, and Lily calmed down.

“Right, forgot about the giant blood,” she said, and Remus smiled.

“You worry far too much,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“He’s my friend,” she said simply.   **  
**

**“"Aargh! It's all right, he only got my boot - jus' playin' - he's only a baby, after all."”**

“Right,” James drawled, “Only a baby.”

“Playful kid, isn’t he?” Sirius said, imitating James’ tone.

**“The baby banged its tail on the wall, making the windows rattle. Harry and Hermione walked back to the castle feeling Saturday couldn't come quickly enough.”**

“Such a strong baby,” Lily laughed.

“I wish my baby was that cool,” Sirius said, and James smirked, “Oh shut it, your baby wont be so cool.”

“Excuse me,” James said, “My baby beat Voldemort. What did _yours_ do?” he asked, and Sirius glared at him.

“Undetermined,” Sirius said stiffly, and James laughed, ruffling Sirius’ hair. **  
**

**“They would have felt sorry for Hagrid when the time came for him to say good-bye to Norbert if they hadn't been so worried about what they had to do.”**

“Don’t be sorry,” Lily said, shaking her head, “He has to let the damn thing go.”

“Honestly Evans, you’re so confusing,” Sirius said, “First you want them to be all nice and sensitive to others, and now you’re telling them not to feel sorry for someone when they’re upset?”

“Oh shut up,” Lily muttered as the three boys roared with mocking laughter.

**“It was a very dark, cloudy night,”**

“Symbolism,” Remus sung, and Lily giggled.

“For what?” she asked, and Remus bit his lip.

“They’re going to get caught,” he finally said, “since it’s only cloudy. Therefore there are some patches of light. That would be getting rid of Norbert, whilst the clouds would be a bucket load of detentions,” he said, and Sirius snorted.

“You are way too big of a literary nut,” he said, and Remus glared at him as Lily and James laughed.

**“and they were a bit late arriving at Hagrid's hut because they'd had to wait for Peeves to get out of their way in the Entrance Hall, where he'd been playing tennis against the wall. Hagrid had Norbert packed and ready in a large crate.”**

“How much do you want to bet there’s a pillow in there?” James asked.

**“"He's got lots o' rats an' some brandy fer the journey," said Hagrid in a muffled voice. "An' I've packed his teddy bear in case he gets lonely."”**

James smirked, “Told you there was a pillow in there.”

“There isn’t,” Lily said, frowning, “There’s a teddy bear, but no pillow.”

“It fell under the same category!” James said, and Lily grinned.

“Sure it did.”

**“From inside the crate came ripping noises that sounded to Harry as though the teddy was having his head torn off.”**

“Poor teddy,” Lily said sadly, and the boys laughed, “What? I _love_ teddy bears!”

“Do you really?” James asked, and Lily nodded.

“Well, all stuffed toys in general,” she said, and James chuckled.

“Muggle,” he said, and she stuck his tongue out at him as the other two laughed.

**“"Bye-bye, Norbert!" Hagrid sobbed, as Harry and Hermione covered the crate with the invisibility cloak and stepped underneath it themselves. "Mummy will never forget you!"”**

“How could you?” Sirius asked, “You’ve got bite marks all over yourself,” he said.

“He means in a sentimental way,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted.

“No really?” he said sarcastically, and Remus smirked.

“Was just saying! Didn’t seem like you had a heart,” he replied, and Sirius glared at him as Lily and James laughed.

**“How they managed to get the crate back up to the castle, they never knew. Midnight ticked nearer as they heaved Norbert up the marble staircase in the entrance hall and along the dark corridors, up another staircase, then another - even one of Harry's shortcuts didn't make the work much easier.”**

Lily clucked her tongue

“What?” James asked, and she sighed.

“The shortcuts?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook his head.

“He’s not getting his full sleep,” she said, and the three boys exchanged looks before they burst out laughing.

“His full sleep is what you care about?” Remus choked, “When he’s walking through the halls at midnight with a dragon?”

“Well it’s not like he’s going to get caught,” she said, rolling her eyes, “He’s under a bleeding invisibility cloak, but he should really get his sleep. He’s only eleven.”

“Don’t say that!” Sirius yelled, and Lily quirked a brow at him, “That he wont get caught! Jeez Evans you just jinxed it!”

“Excuse me?” she asked, bewildered.

“It means that because you said it didn’t happen, it’s going to happen,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“No it won’t.”

“Stop!” Sirius squawked, throwing a cushion at her, “he’s going to get detention because of _you_!”

“Sure he is,” Lily chuckled, rolling her eyes.

**“"Nearly there!" Harry panted as they reached the corridor beneath the tallest tower.”**

“Weakling,” James snorted, and Lily glared at him.

“He’s _eleven_!”

“I’m the Quidditch Captain,” James shrugged, and Lily shook her head as Sirius and Remus chuckled.

“I feel bad for you,” Lily said to Sirius, who winked at the affronted James. **  
**

**“Then a sudden movement ahead of them made them almost drop the crate.”**

“Oh because dropping the crate wouldn’t get you caught,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

**“Forgetting that they were already invisible, they shrank into the shadows, staring at the dark outlines of two people grappling with each other ten feet away. A lamp flared.”**

“Amateurs,” Remus chuckled.

“In all honesty, it takes a while to get used to knowing nobody can see you,” James said.

“Yeah Moony, remember the first time you went out under it?” he asked, smirking, and Remus flushed.

“Leave me alone,” Remus mumbled, and Lily turned to Sirius, eyes alight with curiosity.

“What happened?”

“Well Remus here saw McGonagall come around the corner and screamed and ran away, running out from beneath the cloak and getting caught,” Sirius said, grinning at Remus, who groaned and covered his face.

“So mean,” Remus mumbled, as Lily, James and Sirius laughed.

 **“Professor McGonagall, in a tartan bathrobe and a hair net, had Malfoy by the ear.**  
  
"Detention!" she shouted. "And twenty points from Slytherin! Wandering around in the middle of the night, how dare you --" 

**"You don't understand, Professor. Harry Potter's coming -- he's got a dragon!"**

**"What utter rubbish! How dare you tell such lies! Come on -- I shall see Professor Snape about you, Malfoy!"”**

The four of them burst out laughing.

“PRICELESS!” Sirius roared, grinning like a madman.

“‘Harry Potter’s coming! He’s got a dragon!’, can you imagine McGonagall’s face?” James laughed, clutching his stomach.

“Ah, McGonagall in her bathrobe and heairnetted glory, giving Malfoy a detention,” Sirius said, chuckling.

“Best moment of the chapter,” Remus declared

**“The steep spiral staircase up to the top of the tower seemed the easiest thing in the world after that. Not until they'd stepped out into the cold night air did they throw off the cloak, glad to be able to breathe properly again. Hermione did a sort of jig.”**

“A jig?” James chuckled.

“Care to give us an example Evans?” Sirius asked, and Lily glared at him, earning a cheeky grin and laughs from Remus and James.

**“"Malfoy's got detention! I could sing!"**

**"Don't," Harry advised her.”**

“So rude,” Lily laughed.

“That was so incredibly blunt,” Sirius guffawed, “‘Don’t’”

“Well what else is he supposed to say?” a grinning James retorted.

“That is not the point, Prongsie. It’s that all he said was don’t to her happy mood, which makes him hilarious.”

“I see,” James said in a serious tone, winking at the exasperated Lily.

**“Chuckling about Malfoy, they waited, Norbert thrashing about in his crate.”**

“Such a beautifully pleasant creature,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

 **“About ten minutes later, four broomsticks came swooping down out of the darkness.**  
  
Charlie's friends were a cheery lot. They showed Harry and Hermione the harness they'd rigged up, so they could suspend Norbert between them. They all helped buckle Norbert safely into it and then Harry and Hermione shook hands with the others and thanked them very much.  
  
At last, Norbert was going... going... gone.”

“SUCCESS!” the three boys bellowed, as if rehearsed, jumping onto their feet.

“Do you lot practice doing that?” Lily asked amusedly, and Remus shrugged

“After six years you tend to just think the same,” he said, and Lily giggled

“I’m so sorry Remus,” she said, and Remus pretended to cry as James and Sirius gaped at Lily.

“Lil-bit!”

“Lillian!”

“Yes?” she said innocently, grinning at the two of them.

**“They slipped back down the spiral staircase, their hearts as light as their hands, now that Norbert was off them. No more dragon, Malfoy in detention, what could spoil their happiness?”**

“I don’t know, how about the fact that you forgot the invisibility cloak?” James suggested, and Lily gaped.

“No they didn’t!”

“Where does it say that?” he asked, and Lily bit her lip.

“They’re not that stupid, are they?” she asked Sirius, who sighed.

“I believe they are,” he said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

“This would have nothing to do with the fact that they’re both not your minions, would it?” she asked, and Sirius smirked.

“Oh right!” he said, grinning, “Looks like the truths come out then.”

“What? That our minions snuck through the castle with a dragon whilst yours lay in bed?” James asked, and Sirius scowled, causing the others to laugh.

“No, Lillian, I just think they’re a bit ignorant due to their happiness,” he said, ignoring James and answering Lily’s previous question, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by the other three, who laughed.

“ **The answer to that was waiting at the foot of the stairs. As they stepped into the corridor, Filch's face loomed suddenly out of the darkness.**  
  
"Well, well, well," he whispered, "we are in trouble." They'd left the invisibility cloak on top of the tower”

The four of them sighed grandly.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Lily muttered.

“Wonder what they’re going to be subjected to,” James mused, “Cleanings not that bad.”

“Maybe they’ll be allowed in the forest!” Sirius said enthusiastically, and the three boys’ faces lit up.

“I _love_ forest detentions,” Remus said, and the other two grinned.

“Are you _insane_?” Lily squeaked, “It’s dangerous in there!”

“Sorry miss Prefect,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a sarcastic look as James and Remus laughed.

“What happens now?” Lily asked, turning to Remus, who looked down at the book.

“We move on to the next chapter,” he said simply, and Lily’s jaw dropped

“THAT’S where the chapter left off? Are you joking?” she asked, and Remus chuckled.

“I’m afraid not.”

“Well, I need to shower,” Sirius said, stretching, and they all turned to him, “What? We always take breaks between chapters!”

“He has a point,” Remus agreed, “I need to write a letter to my mum.”

“Well, I’m hungry,” Lily said, getting up, “See you later gentlemen.”

“I’ll go with you,” James smirked, and Lily quirked a brow at him.

“I don’t think so.”

“Maybe we can stop by the library,” he suggested, grinning devilishly, and Lily flushed.

“What’s the next chapter?” she asked Remus, who was fighting a laugh. He looked down at the chapter and then chuckled.

“Well you’re going to love this,” he said, and Lily frowned.

“Why?”

**“Chapter fifteen: The Forbidden Forest”**

“YES!” James and Sirius yelled, hi-fiving each other. Lily looked scandalized.

“He’s going into the forest!”

“And we’re going to the library,” James said, waving to his friends and leading her out of the Common Room.

“James!” she squeaked, as he managed to get her out of the Portrait Hole, “How can you be happy about this?”

“Easily,” he shrugged, grinning down at her, and she rolled her eyes

“Hilarious,” she said, and he grinned

“I try…so who was it?” he asked, and Lily quirked a brow at him.

“Who was what?” she asked, taking in his awkward stance.

“Who you…you know…” he said, and Lily flushed.

“Why do we have to talk about this?” she asked, and he shrugged.

“I’m curious!”

“I’ll tell you…just not now,” she said, grinning up at him.

“Of course you will,” he said, rolling his eyes, and Lily laughed

“So where are we going?” she asked, and James gave her a look, “the library? Really?” she asked, and he beamed down at her blushing face.

“Yes, why not?”

“Because it’s closed,” she said, and James’ jaw dropped.

“What? Why?” he whined, and Lily giggled.

“Because Madam Pince is probably on holiday, or something,” she said, and James scowled.

“Well that just ruined my day,” he muttered, and Lily smirked

“Don’t worry,” she said, patting his arm, “I know how to get in,” she winked, and James’ eyes twinkled.

“Do you really?” he asked, and Lily giggled.

“Why would I lie about that?” she asked as they reached the library doors. She pulled her wand out and tapped the lock twice, muttering under her breath, and the lock clicked.

“I’m impressed,” James said, and Lily laughed.

“Of course you of all people would be,” she said, as she grinned up at him. James’ eyes darkened slightly, sending a shiver down her spine.

“After you,” he said, gesturing inside the library, not breaking eye contact, and Lily giggled, before sauntering into the library, her hips swaying seductively. James ran in after her, far too eagerly.

The lock clicked.

One can only assume what happened in the library that afternoon. All we really know, though, is that when they left, James sported a rather goofy smile, his hair messier than usual, and Lily with bright eyes, and a rather suspicious mark on the side of her neck.

“Food?” Lily suggested, and James chuckled.

“Sure, food sounds good,” he winked.

As the two walked down the corridor, Lily reached over, taking his hand in hers and threading her fingers through his.

* * *

**Hey guys! Hope you liked the chapter. Thanks so much for reading! Let me know what you think xx**

 

 


	16. The Forbidden Forest

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter.**

* * *

“You really come down here a lot,” Lily chuckled, as they entered the kitchens, immediately greeted by hundreds of little house elves, chattering awestruck words to ‘Master Potter’.

“It’s not like anyone objects,” he shrugged, as the sea of house elves jumped up and down in front of them, anxiously awaiting an order, “So what do you want?” he asked, and Lily quirked an eyebrow.

“I can have anything?” she asked, and James chuckled, nodding. She bit her lip for a second, before turning to him, “What are you getting?”

“I was thinking some nice waffles,” he said, winking at a house elf, which squeaked and ran off, along with a dozen others, to prepare ‘some nice waffles’. He turned back to Lily, to see her nose scrunched in disgust, “What?” he asked, and she shook her head.

“Waffles,” she said, her tone laced with disgust, and James’ jaw dropped

“You don’t like waffles?” he asked, baffled, and Lily shook her head.

“I don’t,” she said, “Waffles, pancakes, can’t stand them,” she said, and James groaned.

“What have I gotten myself into?” he whined, and Lily smacked his arm playfully as he grinned cheekily down at her.

“Well then get yourself out, Potter, because I’m not going to change,” she said, and James smiled.

“I don’t want you to,” he said, taking her hand, and a blush graced Lily’s cheeks.

“What do I want?” she said, changing the topic, causing James to chuckle quietly, “Let’s see…I’d love an omelet, and two toasts,” she said, and the house elves squeaked.

“Coming right up, Miss,” a house elf squeaked, skittering off with a few others.

“ _Two_ toasts?” James asked, grinning, “And they say _I’m_ a pig.”

“You are a pig,” she said, and James nudged her, “What? Who’s getting their second breakfast, eh?” she teased, and James chuckled.

“There’s nothing wrong with eating healthy,” he said.

“Eating healthy is having a big breakfast, not having _two_ big breakfasts,” she pointed out.

“I don’t think waffles constitute as a big breakfast,” James said, “They’re more like a post-breakfast snack,” he winked, and Lily shook her head fondly.

“Honestly, were you born with a cows stomach?” she asked, and James snorted.

“What’s the difference?” he asked, and Lily giggled.

“They either have four or six stomachs,” she said, and James’ eyes widened.

“Do they really?”

“Yes,” she laughed. James sighed longingly, before frowning thoughtfully.

“Well that explains Sirius,” he said, and Lily burst out laughing, “Come on, let’s sit down,” James said, gesturing to the replica house tables, and Lily allowed him to steer her to the Gryffindor one.

“Why are we sitting all the way over here?” Lily asked, as James led her all the way to the other end of the long table, right next to the wall.

“Because it’s private,” he said, winking at her, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You’re insatiable,” she said, and James grinned mischievously, “We were in the library for a _long_ time,” she said, and James winked at her. He pushed her unceremoniously into the seat, and jumped over the table so he was sitting across from her.

“Consider it a date,” he said and Lily shook her head.

“You know, traditionally, one asks for the others’ consent before taking them on a date,” she said, and James grinned.

“As if I haven’t already asked enough,” he said, “Plus, I’m not a very traditional fellow,” he winked, and Lily laughed.

“Don’t I know it,” she said, and he laughed. Just then, the door of the kitchens opened and in walked none other than Sirius and Remus. Sirius spotted them immediately, how could he not, considering they were the only others in the kitchens, other than the house elves.

“Oh, hello,” Sirius said, walking over to them with a sly smile on his face, “We thought you two’d still be in the library,” he said, winking at Lily, who flushed as James grinned devilishly.

“Just got here actually,” James said, and Sirius barked a laugh.

“It’s been forty minutes,” Remus deadpanned, sitting down next to James, and James winked at him.

“I know,” he said, grinning at Lily, who shook her head fondly, turning away from James to look at the house elves. As she turned, a lock of hair slipped from her shoulder and Sirius smirked.

“My, my, Evans, what have you been doing to your neck?” he asked, and with a squeak, she pulled her hair back over her shoulder as the three boys sniggered.

“James!” she hissed, and he grinned.

“At least now we have proof they weren’t simply reading in the library,” Remus said, and Sirius laughed as James winked at Lily and Lily hid her face in her hands.

“So embarrassing,” she muttered. Just then, a house elf appeared on the table, holding two plates.

“What would Master Black and Master Lupin like?” the elf asked, setting Lily and James’ plates in front of their respective consumers, and Remus shook his head.

“I’m full, thanks,” he said, and the elf smiled, turning to face Sirius.

“Pancakes please,” Sirius said, and the elf bowed before disapparating with a crack. Lily shuddered, and James rolled his eyes.

“Cannot believe you don’t like pancakes,” James muttered, and Sirius gasped.

“You don’t like pancakes?” he balked, and Lily shook her head.

“She doesn’t like waffles either,” James said, and Sirius groaned.

“I cant be friends with you,” he said, turning his head away from Lily, who rolled her eyes as Remus and James laughed. The elf returned, placing the pancakes in front of Sirius, before disapparating with a swift ‘enjoy!’.

“Two toasts?” Remus asked, looking down at Lily’s plate, and she exhaled exasperatedly as James sniggered.

“ _Two_ toasts, Evans?” Sirius snorted, “pig.”

“I’m not a pig!” Lily protested, as James and Remus laughed, “You two are the ones on your second breakfast,” she said, looking between James and Sirius.

“Yes, but this isn’t breakfast,” James said, “We’ve been over this.”

“It’s a post-breakfast snack,” Sirius nodded, and James beamed at him.

“That’s what I said!”

“You’re both ridiculous,” Lily muttered. She meticulously placed the omelet on a piece of toast, before biting her lip, “I need ketchup.” As she uttered the words, a bottle appeared in front of her, “Well that’s efficient,” she said happily, picking the bottle up and squeezing some ketchup onto her omelet

“What the bloody fuck are you doing?” Sirius asked, watching her food with a scandalized expression.

“I’m putting ketchup on my eggs, why?” she said, placing the other piece of toast on top of the omelet, creating a sort of sandwich.

“That’s revolting,” James said, and Lily gasped.

“You’ve _never_ had eggs and ketchup?” she asked, and the three disgusted boys shook their heads, “You _have to_ try it!” she squawked, shoving her sandwich in James’ face, “Go on! try it!”

“Lil, no offence, but I’m afraid I may hurl if I do,” James said, and Lily glared at him.

“Do it or I’m cutting you off,” she said, and James huffed as Sirius and Remus laughed. Reluctantly, James grabbed the sandwich and took a small bite out of one of the corners.

“Are you dead yet?” Sirius asked, and Lily scowled as Remus and James chuckled.

“It’s surprisingly good,” James said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped.

“I don’t believe you,” he said, shaking his head, “Give me that,” he reached across the table, snatching the sandwich out of James’ hands. He took a bite out of the other corner, before his eyes widened, “Bloody hell,” he said, and Lily grinned proudly.

“Told you it was good,” she said smugly. Remus frowned and held his hand out for the sandwich, sinking his own teeth into the third corner.

“Well, Lily was right,” he said, chuckling, causing the redhead to beam.

“I’m a genius,” she agreed, snatching her sandwich back and taking a massive bite, “Mmm.”

“Such a pig,” James laughed, observing Lily’s stuffed face.

“Shut up,” she said, taking another gargantuan bite of her sandwich.

“So how was the library?” Sirius teased, and James smirked.

“Can we not talk about this?” Lily whined, and the three boys sniggered, “Honestly you’re all disgusting creatures.”

“Is that why you and James were in the library for forty minutes?” Remus asked innocently, and Lily flushed darkly as the three boys sniggered again.

“Let’s put Lily out of her misery,” Sirius said, patting her on top of the head, “we brought the book,” Sirius announced, and Lily choked.

“To the kitchens? Why?”

“We couldn’t just leave it lying around like that,” he gasped, pulling the book out of his robes and placing it gently on the table, sliding it towards Remus, “It could disappear!”

“Which would be a shame,” James agreed.

“Especially since we haven’t even finished it yet,” Sirius said, and then grinned at Remus, “Read away.”

“Why me?” Remus asked, and James chuckled.

“Because we’re eating,” he said, and Remus scowled.

“Knew I should’ve gotten something to eat,” he muttered, and the others laughed.

**“Chapter fifteen: The Forbidden Forest”**

Lily groaned.

“What?” Remus asked, and she sighed.

“I forgot he was going to be going in there,” she sighed, and the boys laughed.

“Did my skills make you forget?” James asked innocently, and she stuck her tongue out at him before turning back to Remus, who was holding back a chuckle.

**“Things couldn't have been worse.”**

“Well that’s a fantastically cheerful way to start a chapter, ‘innit?” Sirius said in an overtly cheery voice.

“Bloody fantastic,” James agreed, nodding his head.

“And it’s a completely wrong statement,” Remus said, shaking his head, “Things could always be worse.”

“Well, apparently things couldn’t be worse,” James said

“But there are different determinations for different people,” Sirius said, “Take Lily here for example,” he said, nodding towards Lily, who stopped chewing to listen to what he had to say, “Worse for her would be getting an E on a homework assignment,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed.

“And what would worse for you be?” she asked, and Sirius scratched his chin thoughtfully

“Worse for me would be Azkaban,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly as the three boys sniggered.

“And worse for James would be breaking up with Lily,” Remus quipped, and James scowled.

“What would be worse for _you_ Remus?” Lily teased, and he sighed dramatically

“I live worse, look who I have to room with?” he said, and Lily laughed as the two boys shot Remus scandalized expressions.

“MOONY!”

**“Filch took them down to Professor McGonagall's study on the first floor, where they sat and waited without saying a word to each other.”**

“Why do people go quiet?” Lily asked, and the boys turned to look at her

“What?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head as the other two laughed.

“I mean, when you’re waiting for McGonagall to show up, why don’t they talk?” she asked, looking at James, who shrugged.

“They’re too scared to speak,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“But shouldn’t they be, I don’t know, coming up with a back-story?” she asked, and James laughed.

“Lily Evans, are you suggesting they should lie?” he gasped, and Lily grinned.

“Little bit,” she shrugged, and Sirius snickered.

“I underestimated you,” he said fondly, ruffling her hair.

**“Hermione was trembling.”**

“Of course she was,” Sirius said, his words muffled by the obscene amounts of pancake shoved in his mouth.

“You’re disgusting,” Lily said bluntly, picking up her sandwich daintily as to not get ketchup on her hands.

“Thanks,” Sirius said, a piece of pancake flying out of his mouth.

“You obviously have not seen James on his birthday,” Remus said, and Sirius shuddered.

“Makes me look like a princess,” Sirius said, glaring at James, who gaped.

“I do not!” he protested, and the other two snorted disbelievingly.

“You had chocolate on your _forehead_ last year,” Remus said, and James flushed.

“How on earth did it get up there?” Lily asked, and James huffed as Remus and Sirius sniggered.

“He missed his mouth,” Sirius said wisely, causing Lily and Remus to laugh as James scowled.

**“Excuses, alibis, and wild cover- up stories chased each other around Harry's brain, each more feeble than the last. He couldn't see how they were going to get out of trouble this time.”**

“See, excuses, alibis, wild cover-up stories!” Lily exclaimed, sounding far too excited.

“And you say _I’m_ a bad influence,” James snorted, and Lily shrugged.

“You are,” she said, “As am I, it’s just that nobody knows about that,” she beamed, and the three boys laughed.

“Well they do now,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head.

“We’ll go tell McGonagall,” James said, and Lily laughed.

“Like she would believe you,” she said sweetly, and the boys huffed.

**“They were cornered. How could they have been so stupid as to forget the cloak?”**

“I don’t know, you tell me,” James said, crossing his arms.

“It was extremely stupid,” Remus agreed, nodding his head as he turned the page.

“What’s going to happen to the cloak?” Lily asked, eyes wide with worry.

“It’ll turn up,” Sirius said, waving his hand ,”It always does.”

“That’s a terrible attitude! What if Filch goes up there and finds it? Then what?” she asked.

“You sneak into his office and get it, obviously,” James said, and Lily quirked a brow at him, “I’ve never done it,” he said quickly, his voice a few octaves too high, and the other three laughed.

“Of course you haven’t,” she said fondly, smiling at James, nudging his foot with her own.

**“There was no reason on earth that Professor McGonagall would accept for their being out of bed and creeping around the school in the dead of night, let alone being up the tallest astronomy tower, which was out-of-bounds except for classes.”**

“And snogging,” Sirius said, and Remus grimaced.

“Is she going to assume they were snogging?” he asked.

“He’s _eleven_!” Lily squeaked, shaking her head.

“He’s also James Potter’s son,” Remus said, and Lily turned to glare at James, who turned to Remus

“Thanks mate,” he deadpanned, and Remus beamed at him.

**“Add Norbert and the invisibility cloak, and they might as well be packing their bags already.”**

“Well, nobody knows about Norbert,” Lily said, as if trying to console the panicky eleven-year-old.

“And nobody has found the invisibility cloak,” James said.

“And you’re the Harry Potter,” Remus added.

“AND you wouldn’t be packing bags, you’d be packing trunks,” Sirius added, and the other three turned to him with exasperated expressions, “It’s an important distinction to make!” Sirius said, and Lily snorted.

“We’re having him checked,” James said, and Lily laughed at Sirius’ affronted expression.

“I’ll steal your girlfriend, I swear I will,” Sirius said, and James glared as Sirius scooted closer to Lily and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“Have him fixed too,” she muttered, throwing his arm off her shoulders and getting back to her sandwich, causing James and Remus to roar with laughter and Sirius to gape with an affronted expression

“Lily!”

“What?” she said, turning to him, smiling cheekily.

“How dare you!”

“I thought honesty was the best policy?” she said innocently, and Sirius glared as the other two boys sniggered madly.

**“Harry had thought that things couldn't have been worse. He was wrong.”**

“What did I tell you?” Remus said, and the others laughed.

“That poor boy,” Lily said worriedly, as she shredded her napkin in her lap in agitation.

“C’mon Lily, calm down,” James said, nudging her ankle with his toe, causing her to look up at him, her green eyes wide with worry, “He doesn’t even exist.”

“Yet,” Sirius added with a suggestive wink, causing James and Lily to redden as Remus sniggered.

“He doesn’t even exist,” James repeated, ignoring Sirius’ statement, earning more snickers from his supposed best friends, “And it’s just a detention Lil-bit, s’not the end of the world,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“I suppose,” she said, drawing her bottom lip into her mouth and biting down on it.

“I’ve been to plenty detentions! Turned out fine didn’t I?” Sirius said, and Lily coughed, causing Sirius’ jaw to drop and the other two to burst out laughing, “That’s it, I’m disowning you,” he said, turning away from Lily and crossing his arms.

“Alright,” she shrugged, and Sirius huffed.

“James isn’t allowed to date you anymore,” he said and James’ jaw dropped

“Why?”

“Because I’m disowning her, and it’s always bros,” he said, pointing to himself, “Before hoes,” he added, glaring at Lily, who giggled as Remus rolled his eyes, turning the page in the book as if asking the universe why he was stuck with such blithering idiots.

“You’re not my bro if you’re causing me emotional distress,” James said, and Remus smirked.

“You’re his lover if you’re causing him emotional distress,” Remus said and James nodded.

“Exact- HEY!” he yelled, whacking Remus in the arm as Lily laughed uncontrollably and Sirius smirked.

**“When Professor McGonagall appeared, she was leading Neville.”**

“Oh you worthless lump, what have you done _now_?” Sirius sighed dramatically through his massive bite of pancake.

“How does your voice come out clear when your mouth is full?” Lily asked, and Sirius quirked a brow at her as James and Remus laughed.

“Excuse me?” Sirius said, and Lily sighed.

“See! When my mouth is stuffed you cant understand a word I’m saying!” she said indignantly, crossing her arms, “It’s not fair.”

“Don’t worry Lil,” Remus said, “He’s had tons of practice,” he added bitterly, and Lily turned to smile at Sirius, who gaped at Remus.

“Is it be mean to Sirius day?” he whined, and James scoffed.

“Mate, everyday is be mean to Sirius day,” he said, and Sirius pouted, turning to Lily.

“See what I have to deal with?” he whined, and Lily shrugged.

“I deal with Alice, I have no sympathy for you,” she said, and Sirius gaped as the other two laughed

“You have to admit, mate,” Remus smirked, “After that Howler, I’d take Prongs here any day.”

“Agreed,” James said, “But for you,” he added, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius snorted with laughter.

**“"Harry!" Neville burst out, the moment he saw the other two. "I was trying to find you to warn you, I heard Malfoy saying he was going to catch you, he said you had a drag -"”**

“BE QUIET!” Sirius roared, and Lily smacked her hand over his mouth.

“Take your own advice,” she said, gesturing to where the House Elves were looking at them suspiciously.

“What’s wrong with them hearing?” James asked, and Lily sighed exasperatedly, causing the boys to smirk.

“They could tell someone!” she said, and Sirius frowned.

“And that matters because…?”

“They could tell someone!”

“We’re not really doing anything wrong, are we?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged.

“It is Dumbledore’s book, and we _are_ meddling with the future,” she said, and James smirked.

“You know this is illegal right?” he said, eyes twinkling. He turned to Sirius, who was grinning.

“Exciting isn’t it? Breaking the law,” Sirius said, and Remus shook his head fondly as James grinned. Lily looked horrified.

“Oh Merlin!” she squeaked, looking worriedly at the book.

“Oh don’t worry love,” James said, rolling his eyes, “It’s just a law.”

“Exactly!” she squawked, “It’s a _law_! You’re not _supposed_ to break them!”

“Oh put a cork in it,” Sirius muttered, gesturing for Remus to continue

“Sirius!”

“Lily, are you really going to return this _now_?” Sirius asked, and Lily bit her lip as the three boys looked at her.

“No,” she sighed after a few seconds, and the boys grinned.

“Then shut it,” James advised.

**“Harry shook his head violently to shut Neville up, but Professor McGonagall had seen. She looked more likely to breathe fire than Norbert as she towered over the three of them.”**

“That stupid lump, he could’ve told McGonagall about Norbert!” Sirius grumbled, and Lily laughed.

“Like McGonagall would actually believe him,” Lily countered, and Sirius shrugged.

“You never know, you know?” he said, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Yes, Sirius, McGonagall’s going to believe that two first years had a dragon,” he deadpanned

“See?” Sirius said smugly, turning to Lily, who rolled her eyes as Remus and James laughed.

“He was being _sarcastic_ ,” she said.

“You’re being _closed-minded_ ,” he quipped.

“You’re being stupid,” said James, and Sirius gasped as Lily and Remus laughed, “She wouldn’t believe that _Gryffindors_ would have a dragon. If they were Slytherins, that would’ve been different-“

“That’s ridiculous!” Lily squawked, “It’s a _dragon_!”

“You know, McGonagall may be part dragon,” Sirius mused, cutting off the inevitable argument between the two.

“Should I ask?” Remus sighed, turning to James, who chuckled.

“I’ve got it,” he said, turning to Sirius, “What?”

“I mean, she looks about ready to roast them! She _could_ be part dragon,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“When has McGonagall ever given a dragon-like impression?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“You’ve never made her mad enough,” he said, wagging his eyebrows, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus laughed.

**“"I would never have believed it of any of you.”**

“I sense a lie,” Sirius said, and James sniffed.

“I’m so insulted.”

“Bloody rude of her, isn’t it?” Sirius asked James, who crossed his arms moodily.

“ _What_ are you buffoons on about?” Lily asked, causing their jaws to drop and Remus to snigger.

“Why am I a buffoon?” James asked

“More importantly, why am _I_ a buffoon?” Sirius asked, turning to Lily, who smirked.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me what you’re on about,” she said, looking between Sirius and James, who shook their heads simultaneously.

“Tell us first,” James said, and Lily shook her head.

“No thanks,” she said, and James smirked.

“Then I wont tell you,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

“This is ridiculous, I still want to know!” Sirius whined, and Lily giggled.

“Then you’ll have to tell me,” she said, and Sirius sighed.

“No don’t!” James yelled, throwing himself across the table, slamming his hand over Sirius’ mouth.

“Oh Merlin,” Remus chuckled, rolling his eyes, “Lily,” he said, turning to her, and Lily grinned at him as he smirked at James, who looked scandalized, “James is insulted because McGonagall has underestimated the powers of _his_ son,” he said.

“MOONY!” James gasped, “How _could_ you? I feel so betrayed!”

“Why?” Remus asked, eyebrow quirked.

“Because she’s not going to tell us anything!” James yelled, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, “This is Lily.”

“Which is why James is right,” Lily giggled, leaning over to kiss James on the cheek, and James crossed his arms moodily as Sirius and Remus gasped.

“Lily!” Remus gasped, and Lily grinned.

“Welcome to the Marauders,” Sirius said, holding his hand out to her, a look of smug satisfaction on his face, and Lily giggled, grasping his hand.

**“Mr. Filch says you were up in the astronomy tower. It's one o'clock in the morning! Explain yourselves."”**

“Why? She just explained the situation,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, and the others laughed.

**“It was the first time Hermione had ever failed to answer a teacher's question. She was staring at her slippers, as still as a statue.”**

“She’s a disgrace to Gryffindor know-it-alls everywhere,” Sirius said, shaking his head somberly.

“How could she not answer a question? Isn’t that against your code?” James asked, turning to Lily, who rolled her eyes

“What are you on about?” she asked, and James grinned impishly

“Well, love, you are the _current_ know-it-all, I was simply inquiring as to whether not answering questions was against your moral code,” he said innocently, and Lily shook her head fondly as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“Completely. I’m afraid we may have to rid our community of her, she can no longer be dubbed one of us,” Lily said dramatically, and James grinned.

“Of course _you_ of all people would get the only girl who actually plays along with your ridiculous nonsense,” Remus said amusedly, and Lily flushed as James’ chest puffed proudly.

“That’s not fair! I always get stuck with birds who don’t play along!” Sirius whined, and Lily giggled.

“You’ll get there,” she said, patting his cheek, and Sirius smiled sappily at her.

“You going to rid yourself of Prongs for me?” he asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, and James threw a piece of pancake at his face, causing Remus and Lily laughed.

**“"I think I've got a good idea of what's been going on," said Professor McGonagall. "It doesn't take a genius to work it out.”**

The three boys burst out laughing and Lily quirked an eyebrow

“What?” she asked bluntly after a couple minutes of the boys sniggering madly

“I _love_ when she does this,” Sirius choked, and Lily frowned.

“Does what?” she asked, turning to James, who beamed.

“Gives you your excuse,” he winked, and Lily shook her head fondly as the boys continued to snigger

“Figures you lot would be too lazy to come up with a creative excuse,” she said, nodding her head, and the three boys stopped laughing at once, turning to narrow their eyes at her.

“We’re creative, thank you very much,” James said, and Lily smiled.

“Of course you are,” she said sweetly, nudging his foot with her own.

“Do you know anyone else who comes up with pranks as _brilliantly_ creative as _ours_?” Sirius asked, and Lily bit her lip, pretending to think.

“Yes,” she finally answered, and winked at Remus, who smirked as James and Sirius gaped.

**“You fed Draco Malfoy some cock-and-bull story about a dragon, trying to get him out of bed and into trouble. I've already caught him. I suppose you think it's funny that Longbottom here heard the story and believed it, too."”**

“See?” James said smugly, smiling at Lily, “Excuse.”

“Bloody brilliant,” Sirius smirked, “She’s really outdone herself hasn’t she?”

“That’s not _good_!” Lily squawked, her arms flailing as she pushed her now empty plate away from her in an irritated manner.

“How is that not good?” James asked, frowning, exchanging bewildered looks with the rest of his Marauders.

“Maybe Evans has finally lost it,” Sirius mused, tapping her head, “cracked you see.”

“Oh shut up,” Remus chuckled, as Lily turned to glare at Sirius, who only gave her a brilliant smile he only saved for McGonagall.

“Yes _thank_ you,” Lily said, before turning back to James and Sirius, “It is absolutely _not_ brilliant, because they seem ridiculously _low_ and _mean_ ,” she said, and James chuckled.

“So well-mannered Lily is back?” he asked, and Lily felt her neck heat up as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“Too bad that is,” Sirius sighed, “I was enjoying rule-breaking Lily.”

“So was I,” James said, winking at Lily, who only heated up even further, causing the boys to laugh.

“Fine, whatever, forget that,” she said, and the boys smirked, “Instead, think about poor _Neville!_ ” she sighed, and Sirius snorted.

“Who cares about that fat lump?” he asked, and Lily glared at him.

“ _I_ do,” she said, quirking an eyebrow at him, and Sirius snorted.

“Keep telling yourself that Lil,” he said, turning back to his waffles as Lily sniffed.

**“Harry caught Neville's eye and tried to tell him without words that this wasn't true, because Neville was looking stunned and hurt. Poor, blundering Neville -- Harry knew what it must have cost him to try and find them in the dark, to warn them.”**

Lily smiled sweetly, and the boys rolled their eyes.

“It’s either pride for Harry or squeals for Neville,” Sirius whispered to James, who chuckled.

“I bet its pride for Harry,” James said, and Sirius smirked.

“You’re on.”

“That’s so cute!” Lily squeaked, and Remus chuckled.

“What is?” he asked, watching his two best friends’ intensely concentrated expressions.

“Neville!” she squeaked, and James’ jaw dropped as Sirius cheered.

“ _Neville_?” he squawked, “What about _Harry_?”

“Well, he’s not really done anything right now,” she said, shrugging, and James crossed his arms as Sirius continued to cheer.

“LOSER!” Sirius roared, grinning at James, who continued to scowl, “I know your girlfriend better than you do!”

“Well if he knew me completely then it’d get pretty boring, would it not?” she challenged, and Sirius huffed as Remus laughed and James smiled at Lily. She winked back.

“Thanks for defending my honour,” he said, and Lily smirked.

“Well if there was no honour, what would I spend my time crushing?” she asked, and James smirked as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“"I'm disgusted," said Professor McGonagall. "Four students out of bed in one night! I've never heard of such a thing before!”**

Lily giggled as the three boys adopted scandalized expressions.

“I’m honestly insulted,” James said, shaking his head disbelievingly.

“She forgot us THAT SOON?” Sirius whined, biting his nails imploringly.

“Maybe we didn’t leave that great a mark on the school,” James gasped, and Sirius’ eyes narrowed.

“We’re going to have to work to leave more of a mark,” he said, and Remus nodded seriously.

“We’ll have to really out-do ourselves,” he said, and James smirked devilishly.

“Challenge accepted.”

“Damn it,” Lily whined, her forehead slamming against her hand, causing the three boys to snigger madly

“Get ready, Lily Evans, for pranking like you have never seen before,” Sirius said, throwing his arm around her shoulder, and Lily sighed.

“Do I have a choice?” she asked, and James grinned.

“Nope.”

“Fine, just as long as you don’t prank me, I will not break up with you,” she winked, and James smirked.

“Calm my beating heart,” he said, placing his hand on his chest, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You’re a _pain_ ”

“Yes love, but I’m _your_ pain,” he winked, and Lily shook her head amusedly as Sirius and Remus snorted.

“You’re a cheesy person,” Sirius said, and James grinned.

“But I’m _your_ cheesy person!”

“Oh Merlin,” Sirius sighed, and Lily pat his shoulder sympathetically

**“You, Miss Granger, I thought you had more sense. As for you, Mr. Potter, I thought Gryffindor meant more to you than this.”**

“Oi! Rude!” James said, crossing his arms.

“Don’t ‘Oi’ Professor McGonagall,” Lily said, rolling her eyes, and James snorted.

“I can ‘Oi’ whoever I want”

“No you cant!”

“Is it just me, or is ‘Oi’ starting to sound dirty to you?” Sirius asked Remus, who rolled his eyes amusedly

“I know that James wants to ‘Oi’ Lily,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted, causing Lily and James to turn to them.

“What?” they asked in unison, and then turned to each other “OI!”

“I knew it!” Remus yelled, laughing, as Sirius burst into peals of mirth.

**“All three of you will receive detentions - yes, you too, Mr. Longbottom, nothing gives you the right to walk around school at night, especially these days, it's very dangerous”**

“How so?” Sirius challenged.

“Because it’s _dangerous_ Sirius,” Lily said, shaking her head from side to side.

“But why especially those days?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Always dangerous, Sirius.”

“I beg to differ,” he said, grinning at James and Remus who returned the gesture.

**“-- and fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor."”**

“FIFTY?” Lily gasped, as she stared at the book, flabbergasted.

“We should be proud!” James laughed, “He’s following in our footsteps!”

“AGREED!” Sirius roared, slamming his hand on the table.

“What do you say Lil?” James said, only to turn and see his shocked girlfriend

“FIFTY?”

“Yes, Lily, fifty,” Remus said, grinning.

“Of course, forgot the perfect Ms. Evans has never lost more than three points,” Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes

“That’s not true,” said Remus, crossing his arms, “she’s lost four,” he finished with a wink, and the boys burst out laughing.

“FIFTY?”

“Honestly Lily, calm down,” James chuckled, turning his eyes back to the book.

**“"Fifty?" Harry gasped - they would lose the lead, the lead he'd won in the last Quidditch match.”**

“What, Evans? No ‘boys and their Quidditch’ nonsense?” Sirius asked, smirking, turning to Lily as James and Remus chuckled.

“FIFTY?”

“We’ve lost her,” Sirius declared.

**“"Fifty points each," said Professor McGonagall, breathing heavily through her long, pointed nose.”**

Sirius burst out laughing, “LONG POINTED NOSE? This child’s BRILLIANT!”

“‘Course he is. He’s mine isn’t he?” James sung smugly, and the other two Marauders snorted.

“EACH?”

“Lily! Only dolphins can hear you now!” James laughed, covering his ears at her high screech.

“EACH?”

“Bloody- woman! Too high pitched!” Sirius winced, shifting a little bit away from the screeching redhead.

“EACH?”

“Not you too!” James whined, turning to see a smirking Remus

**“"Professor – please!’’**

**"You can't --"**

**"Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Potter.”**

“Now where have I heard that before?” James said in a faux thoughtful manner, stroking his chin, causing the others to laugh.

**“Now get back to bed, all of you. I've never been more ashamed of Gryffindor students."”**

“I respectfully disagree,” Lily snorted, looking pointedly at the three Marauders, all of whom gasped dramatically, their eyes twinkling mischievously.

“Us?” Sirius asked, pretending to be flabbergasted, “We are the epitome of innocent Gryffindors.”

“Sure you are,” Lily said, rolling her eyes.

“But- Ah I cant do this anymore,” James said, dropping the hurt puppy look and grinning at Lily, “We are miscreants.”

“Miscreants?” Lily giggled, as Remus and Sirius snorted.

“He’s a miscreant,” Sirius said, shaking his head fondly, “I am a troublemaker.”

“Miscreants _are_ troublemakers,” James retorted, smirking.

“Yes, but I will never refer to myself as something as pathetic as a ‘miscreant’,” Sirius replied, adding extra emphasis on the word ‘miscreant’.

“Do you all pride yourselves on disgracing Gryffindor?” Lily asked exasperatedly as the three boys sniggered at each other.

“How could you suggest such a thing?!”

“Oh, cut the crap James,” Lily laughed, and James pouted as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“A hundred and fifty points lost. That put Gryffindor in last place. In one night, they'd ruined any chance Gryffindor had had for the house cup.”**

The four Gryffindors groaned at the prospect.

“I cannot believe they ruined everything in one night,” Lily sighed, shaking her head sadly.

“Well, they better walk around with a shield charm up from now on,” Sirius said, clapping his hands in finality.

“What? Why?” Lily asked, frowning.

“Well, you really think the rest of Gryffindor is going to be thrilled with them?” James asked, and Lily’s jaw dropped

“They wouldn’t hurt first years…would they?” she added in a small voice, looking pleadingly between the boys. Their lack of answer was enough for her.

**“Harry felt as though the bottom had dropped out of his stomach. How could they ever make up for this?”**

“Win the Quidditch Cup and be a good little mini-Lily for the rest of the school year,” Sirius answered confidently, and Lily glared a them as the other two laughed.

“A mini-Lily?”

“Yes,” Sirius said, grinning cheekily

“And what would that constitute?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow in a threatening manner.

“Well,” he said, not at all effected by her threatening eyebrow, “the usual Gryffindor know it all stuff. No breaking the rules…”

“Doing all your homework the night you get it,” James added, winking at Lily, whose cheeks tinged pink.

“There’s nothing wrong with doing all your homework the night you get it!” she protested, and the three boys smirked.

“Of course there isn’t love,” James said, patting her hand sympathetically, and she glared at him.

**“Harry didn't sleep all night.”**

“No sympathy here,” Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes

“Agreed,” Lily laughed.

**“He could hear Neville sobbing into his pillow for what seemed like hours.”**

“Don’t,” Lily said, as Sirius opened his mouth, nose scrunched up in disgust.

“But Lily! He’s such a sorry little useless lump!” Sirius whined, and Lily shook her head sternly, the corners of her mouth twitching as James and Remus openly laughed.

“You cannot make fun of an upset eleven year old,” Lily said sternly, and Sirius pouted.

“Prongs,” he whined, turning to James, who quirked a brow at him, “Make her be nice!”

“Mate, incase you haven’t noticed, nobody can ‘make’ that girl do anything,” James said, and Lily smiled smugly as Sirius pouted.

**“Harry couldn't think of anything to say to comfort him. He knew Neville, like himself, was dreading the dawn.”**

“And for good reason,” James said darkly

“Those poor babies,” Sirius said dramatically, grinning at Lily, who rolled her eyes.

“Must you tease me so much?” she asked, and Sirius shrugged, grinning cheekily.

**“What would happen when the rest of Gryffindor found out what they'd done?”**

“Death,” James quipped, before hiding behind Remus at Lily’s fierce glare.

“One way ticket to the Hospital Wing,” Sirius said wisely, and Lily huffed, turning her glare on him instead.

“Or incessant mocking,” Remus said, and Lily turned to him, “What? Mine was the best suggestion!” he said defensively, and Lily shook her head fondly as Sirius and James gasped.

“Excuse me! It was the _pansy_ suggestion!” James snorted.

“Actually, it was the most realistic,” Lily said, and James stuck his tongue out at her.

“No need to stick your tongue out mate, I’m sure she’s seen enough of it,” Sirius said, winking roguishly, and Lily flushed as the three boys sniggered.

**“At first, Gryffindors passing the giant hourglasses that recorded the house points the next day thought there'd been a mistake. How could they suddenly have a hundred and fifty points fewer than yesterday?”**

“Well that’s not so bad,” Sirius said cheerfully, and Lily smiled hopefully.

“I believe he started the phrase with ‘at first’,” James said, and Lily’s expression fell.

“Which insinuates that it’s about to get a whole lot worse,” Remus muttered somberly, turning the page with ferocity that surprised Lily.

“That’s not fair,” Lily whined, stomping her foot.

“What’s not fair?” James asked, and Lily huffed

“That my poor baby gets thumped for everything,” she said, and James winked.

“Don’t worry, I can make up for that,” he said, leaning forwards and pressing his lips gently to hers.

“STOP!” Sirius and Remus yelled, Sirius pulling Lily backwards and Remus grabbing the tails of James’ shirt and pulling him down into his seat.

“You’re insatiable,” Lily muttered, shaking her head, her face a cheery red, and James grinned like a loon

“That can be fixed,” he said, and his two friends turned away, embarrassed.

“This is so disturbing,” Sirius grumbled, and Remus nodded.

**“And then the story started to spread:”**

“Dun dun dun!” Sirius said dramatically, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus roared with laughter

**“Harry Potter, the famous Harry Potter, their hero of two Quidditch matches, had lost them all those points, him and a couple of other stupid first years.”**

“Oh Merlin! I forgot about the whole ‘famous’ thing,” Lily squeaked.

“I don’t see how that matters,” James said, and Lily opened her mouth, hesitated, and closed it

“It doesn’t,” she said, “But it’ll make it seem worse,” she said, and Sirius grimaced.

“She’s got a point there,” he said, nodding his head.

“Thank you Sirius,” she said happily, and Sirius rolled his eyes, throwing his arm fondly around her shoulders.

“You’re a crazy one Evans,” he said, and Lily giggled, leaning into him.

**“From being one of the most popular and admired people at the school, Harry was suddenly the most hated.”**

“And with good reason,” James said bitterly.

“James!” Lily gasped, leaning across to smack him in the arm

“Did you just need to touch me?” he asked, winking, “Because there are better places that you-”

“End that statement there,” Remus commanded, and the others laughed as James grinned widely.

**“Even Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs turned on him,”**

“WHAT?” Lily said angrily, glaring at Remus.

“I’m sorry?” he squeaked, hiding behind the pages of the book, causing Sirius to burst out laughing.

“Swap,” James said, gesturing between himself and Sirius.

“No, no way,” Sirius said, shaking his head from side to side, “If you sit here you and her will do…things,” he finished, and Remus shuddered.

“WHY ARE THEY ANGRY AT HIM?” Lily shrieked, and Sirius winced.

“Swap,” Sirius squeaked, going under the table and appearing next to James, who grinned and hopped over the table, plopping himself down in Sirius’ old seat.

“They’re stupid Lil,” James said, kissing her cheek, and placing his arm around her, “Now calm down so we can read,” he said, and Lily huffed irritably, crossing her arms, causing Remus and Sirius to laugh.

**“because everyone had been longing to see Slytherin lose the house cup.”**

“Oh,” Lily said, flushing.

“See, they had their reasons,” James said soothingly, rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

“Oh shut up,” she said, and Sirius and Remus snickered as James pouted.

**“Everywhere Harry went, people pointed and didn't trouble to lower their voices as they insulted him.”**

“That’s just rude,” Lily said irritably, turning to glare at James.

“What did I do?” he asked, holding his hands up in surrender.

“You’re one of the idiots that does this nonsense,” she replied irritably, and Sirius grinned, turning to Remus

“I love when she gets irritated with him,” he said quietly, and Remus shook his head, fighting a smile, as Lily and James continued to bicker.

“Just because I do it doesn’t mean I should get glared at!” James shot back, and Lily quirked an eyebrow disbelievingly.

“ _That’s exactly why I’m yelling!_ ” she half-way screeched, causing James to wince, and Remus and Sirius to laugh, “Honestly! What kind of excuse is _that_?” she asked, brushing her long red hair out of her eyes as she peered at James. James had the decency to look abashed.

“I-I don’t, er, know,” he said awkwardly, realizing he was being put on the spot not only by his girlfriend but his two amused best mates as well, “help,” he whispered to Sirius, who only grinned and leaned back in his seat.

“Mate, not a chance,” he winked, and James turned helplessly to Remus.

“You got yourself into this mess, get yourself out,” Remus said, and James scowled at him, before turning back to Lily, who was regarding him as if he were insane.

“Hi,” he said, grinning widely, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius burst out laughing.

“Nice save mate,” Sirius laughed, reaching across the table to clap James on the shoulder.

**“Slytherins, on the other hand, clapped as he walked past them, whistling and cheering, "Thanks Potter, we owe you one!"”**

“Shut up,” Sirius said bitterly, and Remus quirked an eyebrow.

“Er, okay,” he said uncertainly, closing the book.

“No! I meant the bloody Slytherins!” Sirius protested, and Remus rolled his eyes as Lily and James laughed.

“And how was _I_ supposed to know that?” Remus asked irritably, searching through the book for the right page.

“Common sense?” Sirius suggested meekly, and Remus glowered at him as James hid in Lily’s hair to keep his laughter from being seen.

“Oi!” Remus said, mistaking James’ actions for hormones, “She’s already got a mark! Doesn’t need another one,” he said, and Lily flushed darkly as James emerged from her hair, grinning like a loon.

“Sorry Moony,” he said, and Lily gasped.

“He wasn’t doing that!” she protested, and James smirked.

“Of course he wasn’t,” Sirius winked, and Lily turned to glare at James, who looked immensely proud of himself.

**“Only Ron stood by him.”**

“That’s right Ron!” Sirius cheered, punching his fist in the air, “Be a good friend!”

“Beautiful pep talk Sirius,” Lily drawled, earning sniggers from James and Remus as Sirius smirked.

“Like you could do any better,” he retorted, and Lily laughed.

“I’m the next Quidditch Captain, remember?” she said, and Sirius threw his head back in laughter as James grinned, and leaned over to press a soft kiss to her cheek

“That’s my girl,” James smiled, and Lily hid her face embarrassedly.

**“"They'll all forget this in a few weeks. Fred and George have lost loads of points in all the time they've been here, and people still like them."”**

“Yeah, because they’re funny,” Sirius snorted, and Lily glared at him.

“Sirius!” she hissed, and he smiled guiltily

“I’m sure Harry’s…erm…fun too!” Sirius said, earning him a kick in the leg as Remus and James hid snickers as not to aggravate the already irritated redhead.

“He’s the Harry Potter love,” James said, resting his hand tentatively on hers on her knee, “they’ll get over it.”

“You don’t know that,” she mumbled, and James beamed.

“But I do!”

“You’re irritating me,” Lily muttered, removing her hand from under his and placing it on the table, causing him to pout as his friends sniggered.

**“"They've never lost a hundred and fifty points in one go, though, have they?" said Harry miserably.”**

“I don’t think anyone has,” Lily mused, and James’ head shot up to grin at Sirius, “Oh no,” Lily whimpered.

“Challenge accepted,” Sirius said, the three Marauders’ eyes twinkling manically.

**“"Well - no," Ron admitted.”**

“He’s so bad at this,” Lily chuckled, shaking her head fondly.

“Well, what else was he supposed to say?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged.

“He should have changed topic, instead of letting my poor baby drown in misery and self-loathing,” she said matter-of-factly, and James snorted.

“Familiar with that feeling, are we?” he asked, and Lily nudged him playfully.

**“It was a bit late to repair the damage, but Harry swore to himself not to meddle in things that weren't his business from now on.”**

“No! Don’t do that!” Sirius whined, slamming his fists on the table, causing Lily to jump. The other two, seemingly used to this behaviour or just oblivious due to their mutual agreement with Sirius’ reaction, only glowered at the book.

“Lily! Why did you have to do this to him?” James whined, turning to Lily, who balked.

“Excuse me?” she gasped, and Sirius huffed.

“You gave him the goody genes!” he whined, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus smirked.

“I’m sure that doesn’t exist,” she said, and Sirius snorted.

“You don’t know that.”

“Neither do you,” she shot back, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her, “You’re fantastic at comebacks, did you know that?” she said sarcastically, and Sirius’ lip twitched in amusement.

“But it’s not going to be fun if he’s a goody boy!” Sirius whined, and Lily shook her head fondly.

“I’m sure it’ll still be fun,” she snorted, “He’s too much like James to let things go,” she said, and James beamed.

“That’s my boy.”

**“He'd had it with sneaking around and spying. He felt so ashamed of himself that he went to Wood and offered to resign from the Quidditch team.”**

Sirius dropped his head on the table with a loud bang.

Remus blinked rapidly.

James fell backwards off the bench.

“R-r-resigned?” James choked, blinking rapidly, “H-he asked to _resign_?”

“Yes,” Lily said simply, smiling contentedly, drawing smiley faces all over her plate with the ketchup tube.

“I can’t believe this!” Sirius squeaked, running his hand through his hair worriedly, “What’s he going to do without Quidditch?”

“It’s not like that’s the only thing going for him,” Lily shrugged, moving on to draw little flowers.

“But Quidditch is important!” James yelled, slamming his hand onto the table.

“Lots of things are,” Lily said, smiling sweetly at James.

“What is _wrong_ with you?” James growled, turning to Lily, and she grinned.

“Nothing,” she sung happily, turning to smile at Remus, “I just love getting you all worked up like this,” she breathed, causing Remus to snigger and James and Sirius to gasp.

“Lily!” James whined.

“Okay James,” she giggled, patting him absentmindedly on the cheek.

“Why are you so happy with this?” Sirius asked bitterly, and Lily smiled.

“Because you’re not,” she said simply

“I thought you were a Quidditch fan,” Remus accused, and Lily laughed.

“I am,” she said, nodding her head, “But I’m not a fan of possible death for my child.”

**“"Resign?" Wood thundered. "What good'll that do? How are we going to get any points back if we can't win at Quidditch?"”**

“THANK you!” James thundered, waving his arms around.

“Watch those!” Lily squeaked, ducking James’s palm, “Goodness, you’re _this_ close to committing domestic abuse,” Lily said, holding her pointer finger and thumb together, causing Sirius and Remus to laugh.

“Anyway,” James said, turning to Sirius after patting Lily absentmindedly on the top of the head, “this Wood guy has a point. They wont get any points if Harry quits Quidditch!”

“Which is why I have instant respect for this Wood guy for yelling at him,” Sirius grinned, and the others chuckled.

**“But even Quidditch had lost its fun.”**

“THIS IS BECOMING A PROBLEM!” Sirius yelled, causing the other three to jump and a few house elves to turn and look at them.

“Is there a problem Master Sirius?” a voice asked, and they glanced over to see a small house elf standing beside Sirius, looking up at him concernedly

“Yes!” Sirius squawked, “he doesn’t think Quidditch is fun anymore!”

“But Master James!” the house elf gasped, turning towards James, whose eyes widened, “You always talk about Quidditch!” she gasped, and James turned to glare at Sirius, who grinned.

“Not me Mitsy,” James sighed, and the elf frowned.

“But Master Remus doesn’t play,” she said confusedly, and Lily smiled.

“Sorry he confused you, he won’t bother you again,” she said sweetly, and the elf bowed before disappearing.

“You can’t tell me what to do,” Sirius huffed, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled.

**“The rest of the team wouldn't speak to Harry during practice, and if they had to speak about him, they called him ‘the Seeker.’”**

“That’s rude,” Remus said disapprovingly, and looked up as a slapping sound resounded in the air.

“Will you stop?” Lily said disapprovingly, accentuating each word with a slap to James’ arm.

“It’s funny!” Sirius protested, sniggering madly. James continued to laugh as Lily continued to hit him, hiding his face behind his hands.

“Its. Not. Funny,” Lily laughed, continuing to slap James.

“He’s the one who said it!” James squeaked.

“That’s not the point,” Lily said irritably, fighting a smile.

“You’re still slapping me woman!” James laughed, grabbing her two hands in his and leaning in to press his lips to her nose, “No slapping,” he instructed, and Lily huffed, blowing a piece of hair out of her eyes.

“I cant promise that,” Lily said, turning her head away from James, who was still holding her two hands in his. Sirius winked at her, and she stuck her tongue out at him, “You should be afraid. As soon as you’re in slapping range, I will slap you,” she said, and Sirius grinned devilishly, “I promise.”

“Looking forward to it,” Sirius winked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“That was supposed to be a threat.”

“I’m quaking. I promise,” he drawled, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him, causing him to grin, Remus to snicker, and James to smile and lean forward, nuzzling his nose behind her ear.

“Will you stop touching me?” she asked, turning to James, who grinned and shook his head as the others laughed.

“I waited years to do this love,” he whispered into her ears, causing goosebumps to spread over her body, “I’m not going to stop any time soon.”

**“Hermione and Neville were suffering, too. They didn't have as bad a time as Harry, because they weren't as well-known, but nobody would speak to them, either.”**

“I’m happy for the Hogwarts population,” Sirius said, smiling contentedly, earning a ketchup tube to the head. The impact caused the tube to squeeze and some ketchup fly out, landing on the table.

“I don’t know whether I should laugh or…laugh harder,” Remus said, coughing back laughter, as he looked from Sirius’ dumbfounded expression, to Lily’s shocked one, to James’ amused one.

“Did you just…throw a ketchup tube at me?” Sirius choked, and Lily balked.

“Um…I think so?” she questioned, and the three boys burst out laughing.

“Lily Evans, you are one of a kind,” James chuckled, kissing her temple.

**“Hermione had stopped drawing attention to herself in class, keeping her head down and working in silence.”**

“Hallelujah,” Sirius said, before ducking.

“Why are you ducking?” James asked, and Sirius lifted his head to smirk at Lily.

“In case any more ketchup bottles come flying at my head,” he said, and Lily huffed irritably as the others laughed.

“I don’t have another one,” Lily said, and Sirius winked.

“I don’t put anything past you,” he winked, and Lily flushed as the others laughed.

**“Harry was almost glad that the exams weren't far away.”**

“This is disgusting,” James shuddered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Oh, so sorry your Lily-ness. Please excuse his ignorance. He did not mean to insult that which you find most worship worthy,” Sirius said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him as the other two roared with laughter.

“That’s rude and uncalled for,” she said simply, and Remus smirked.

“Is that your line?”

“Of course,” she said, and the boys sniggered.

**“All the studying he had to do kept his mind off his misery.”**

“Ah, the one good use of studying,” Sirius sighed, winking at Lily, who glared at him.

“There are- you know what? I don’t care,” Lily said, turning away and hiding her face in James’ shoulder.

“Why are we hiding?” James asked, kissing her forehead, and she shook her head.

“He’s insulting me,” she said, and James mock glared at Sirius, who held his hands up in surrender

“Want me to make him stop?” James asked, and Lily nodded, turning to grin at Sirius, who glared at her.

“Yes please,” she sniffed, and James chuckled. He leaned over and picked up the ketchup tube, throwing it at Sirius’ forehead, causing it to squeeze again, only this time the glob of ketchup flew over and landed on Remus’ arm.

“Thanks mate,” Remus said, voice dripping in sarcasm, glaring at James, who had his fist shoved in his mouth to keep from laughing, “Oh and Lily thanks for making him do that,” he said, turning to her, causing her to shake harder, her teeth clamping down onto James’ shoulder. Sirius, on the other hand, wasn’t concerned with niceties and had his head thrown back, roaring with laughter, “You’re a terrible person,” Remus grumbled, slapping Sirius in the shoulder.

**“He, Ron, and Hermione kept to themselves, working late into the night, trying to remember the ingredients in complicated potions, learn charms and spells by heart, memorize the dates of magical discoveries and goblin rebellions…Then, about a week before the exams were due to start, Harry's new resolution not to interfere in anything that didn't concern him was put to an unexpected test.”**

“YES!” Sirius and James yelled.

“Oh no,” Lily groaned, “I don’t have a good feeling about this,” she said, shaking her head ominously.

“That’s the fun of it Lil!” James said excitedly, turning his head to beam at her. The extremity of his happiness was contagious, and Lily couldn’t help the smile that started to take over her face.

“Oh sod it,” she sighed, giving in and laughing a little bit, much to James’ pleasure, “If he dies, I’ll kill you,” she said, and James pouted.

“Would you cry?” he asked innocently, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“No, I wouldn’t,” she said simply, and James snickered, leaning over to kiss the top of her head.

“Yes you would, you’d miss me and you know it,” he said simply, and Lily shook her head fondly.

“I hate you,” she muttered, and James beamed.

**“Walking back from the library on his own one afternoon, he heard somebody whimpering from a classroom up ahead.”**

“And of course, being a Potter, he crept over to see what had happened,” Sirius said grandly, and James grinned devilishly.

“Well that’s not fair,” Remus said, shaking his head, “Your mother isn’t all that bad.”

“Mate,” Sirius said, clapping Remus on the shoulder, “She’s an Auror…enough said,” he winked, and Remus shook his head fondly.

“Both your parents are Aurors?” Lily asked, turning to James, who nodded, smiling.

“Why?” he asked, grinning at her, “Trying to find out more about me?”

“Ouch mate, looks like she’s ignoring you,” Sirius sniggered after a couple moments of James grinning at Lily, and Lily staring resolutely ahead.

“Because I’m right,” James shrugged, and Lily huffed, turning to face him, an exasperated expression on her face.

“No,” she said, causing James to grin wider at her embarrassed tone, “It was an honest question.”

“With an honest cause,” he added, nodding, an angelic expression on his face, eyes glinting with mischief, “Really Lil, if you want to get to know more about me all you have to do is ask,” he said simply, and she rolled her eyes.

“Okay, fine,” she said, causing Remus and Sirius to sit up straighter and James to quirk an eyebrow, “Do you have a genetic defect?” she asked, and James frowned curiously.

“Er, no?” he said uncertainly, and Lily smirked.

“Then why, may I ask, is your jimmy so small?” she asked, and James’ jaw dropped as Sirius and Remus howled with laughter.

“I love you,” Sirius wheezed, grinning at Lily, who winked at the still baffled James.

**“As he drew closer, he heard Quirrell's voice.**

**"No -- no -- not again, please --"**

**It sounded as though someone was threatening him.”**

“And now he’s going to go investigate,” Sirius announced happily, grinning charmingly at Lily, who shook her head.

“It’s not small!” James whined, and Lily smirked as Sirius and Remus started to snigger again.

“I’m going to need proof,” Sirius said, and James glared at him

“It. Is. Not. Small,” he growled, turning to glare at Lily, “I’ll take it out. I swear,” he said, making to stand up.

“No!” Lily squealed, placing her hand on his shoulder and pushing him down into his seat, “Merlin James, it was a joke,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“I cannot believe you had enough strength to push me down,” James mumbled embarrassedly as Remus and Sirius snickered.

“That’s two things to be embarrassed about!” Sirius laughed.

“We should get some more,” Remus said, and Sirius’ eyes widened as James groaned and hid his face in Lily’s shoulder.

**“Harry moved closer.”**

“Of course he did,” Lily muttered irritably, earning her cheeky grins from the four boys.

“He’s his fathers son!” James said, grinning at Lily, who only glared at him.

“He’s going to get himself killed with all this meddling,” she said exasperatedly shaking her head.

“What a fantastic way to die,” Sirius said wistfully, as the three others looked at him as if questioning his sanity, “Here lies Harry Potter, the boy who died meddling.”

“Has a ring to it, doesn’t it?” Remus drawled sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Exactly!” Sirius said excitedly, either disregarding or not registering the sarcasm streaming out of Remus’ mouth.

**“"All right - all right -" he heard Quirrell sob.”**

“Suck it up man, don’t sob,” Sirius snorted, and Lily exchanged an exasperated look with Remus as James sniggered along with Sirius.

**“Next second, Quirrell came hurrying out of the classroom straightening his turban. He was pale and looked as though he was about to cry. He strode out of sight; Harry didn't think Quirrell had even noticed him.”**

“Don’t feel so bad about not being noticed, you’ll appreciate that when you’re attempting to hide after pulling a spectacular prank,” Sirius said wisely, and Lily rolled her eyes

“What makes you think he’ll be pulling pranks?” she asked skeptically, and Sirius beamed.

“Honey, what makes you think he won’t be?” he challenged, eyebrows raised amusedly, and Lily glared at him.

“James,” she said, turning towards the boy, who looked at her hesitantly,

“Er, yes?” he said uncertainly, causing Remus and Sirius to smirk.

“Tell him Harry won’t be pulling pranks,” she instructed, and James rolled his eyes.

“Lily-”

“Tell. Him,” she bit out, and James shook his head fondly as Sirius and Remus chuckled.

“He won’t,” he said to Sirius, who gasped and clutched his chest dramatically.

**“He waited until Quirrell's footsteps had disappeared, then peered into the classroom.”**

“Any bets on what’s in there?” Remus asked, pausing in his reading, and the other two boys lit up.

“Snape,” James said instantly, and Sirius chuckled.

“A mirror,” he corrected, and the other three burst out laughing.

“That makes no sense!” Lily laughed.

“IT DOES!” Sirius yelled, causing Lily to wince at the sheer volume of his yell, “He’s saying not again,” he explained.

“So?” she said, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“He’s begging the universe not to make him live another day looking like that! Hence the not again!” he explained emphatically, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus grinned

“But he says my lord,” Lily protested, but was cut off as Sirius’ hand flew in front of her face.

“Lily, who’s explaining here?” he said, and Lily giggled as the other two boys snickered.

**“It was empty, but a door stood ajar at the other end.”**

“Did he not look around for that mirror?” Sirius whined.

“No, because your idea is absolute bullshit,” Lily said, and Sirius gaped as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“BU-”

“Sirius mate, let it go,” Remus advised, his voice shaking with restrained laughter.

“Fine,” Sirius huffed after a moment, “But I don’t like her.”

“Okay,” Remus chuckled.

**“Harry was halfway toward it before he remembered what he'd promised himself about not meddling.”**

“No! No!” Sirius yelled desperately, bouncing up and down, “Go forward!” he yelled.

“Can you please stop yelling in my ear?” Remus hissed, leaning away from the screaming boy seated next to him, an expression of pain on his face.

“BUT MOONY!” Sirius yelled louder, leaning towards Remus so his mouth was right at his ear, “HES NOT GOING FORWARDS!”

“Thanks,” Remus muttered, and Sirius grinned mischievously as Lily and James laughed.

“My pleasure.”

**“All the same, he'd have gambled twelve Sorcerer's Stones that Snape had just left the room,”**

“I _was_ right!” James said, turning to beam at Lily, “I was right!”

“I’m so happy for you,” she deadpanned, her eyes dancing with amusement as James beamed down at her.

“Hear that? _I_ was right,” James said to Sirius, who glared at him, “Not you. _Me_ ,”

“Because of all this gloating, I kind of hope you weren’t,” Lily said, and Sirius beamed widely as James’ jaw dropped

“What happened to support?” he whined, and Lily smirked.

“You have my full support,” she said, and James huffed irritably at her teasing tone as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“and from what Harry had just heard, Snape would be walking with a new spring in his step”**

“What? Why?” Sirius asked, confused.

“Well it sounds like Quirrell gave in,” Remus said somberly, and Sirius and James adopted horrified expressions.

“NO!” James cried as Sirius hid his face in his hands.

“Really get caught up in these things, don’t they?” Lily mused, and Remus chuckled as he pat Sirius on the back.

“That they do.”

“Idiots,” Lily said fondly, running her hand through James’ hair.

**“-- Quirrell seemed to have given in at last.”**

“Damn it,” Sirius swore, before sighing grandly, “Well looks like Little Harry Potter has another problem on his hands,” he commented, grinning at Lily.

“Am I supposed to react somehow?” she asked, and Sirius’ expression fell as Remus and James laughed

“You ruin everything,” he said, and she beamed.

“I try.”

“Swot,” Sirius shot at her, and she gasped, holding her chest dramatically.

“H-how could you?” she spluttered, before grinning cheekily at Sirius.

“Cheeky,” James chuckled, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

“I try.”

“Enough with the ‘I try’s!” Remus laughed, and Lily grinned as Sirius and James snickered.

“I try.”

**“Harry went back to the library, where Hermione was testing Ron on Astronomy.”**

“That poor boy,” Sirius said sadly, “he’s wasting away with that girl.”

“That also with such a useless subject,” James said sadly, before his eyes widened in horror, “Shit!”

“What?” Lily asked, bewildered.

“I forgot to do that, that _thing_ for Astronomy!” he whined, hiding his face in his hands.

“When were you supposed to give it in?” she asked, placing her hand comfortingly on his shoulder.

“Two days ago,” he sighed, and Lily shrugged.

“Just say you went home for an emergency,” she said, and he quirked a brow at her, “I’ve had my fair share of getting out of homework assignments,” she said, smiling devilishly.

“Who’d have thunk it,” Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t you just turn it in today?” Lily suggested, acting as if Sirius had never said anything.

“I could, but I have to go up and do one more thing,” James said, “Will you come with me?” he asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Sure, what is it?” she asked, and he sighed. Sirius didn’t miss the way James’ eyes were twinkling and hid his mouth behind his hand, knowing what was coming. Remus, noticing Sirius, rolled his eyes to the heavens.

“Will you come up to the Astronomy Tower with me so I can see Uranus?” James asked

“Sur- JAMES!” Lily shrieked, slapping him on the shoulder as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter, “YOU- YOU- YOU”

“Wanker?” Sirius suggested

“Imbecile?” Remus added

“Idiot?” Sirius added, and Remus shook his head.

“Too simple,” he said.

“ABSOLUTE ARSE!”

“Well that was good,” Remus laughed.

“C’mon Lil! I couldn’t help it!” James wheezed through his laughter, and she crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at him, the corners of her mouth twitching.

“That wasn’t funny,” she sniffed, and James beamed at her with that bloody smile of his that made it impossible for her to stay angry with him.

“You thought it was funny,” he said, leaning closer, his beaming face now far too close, close enough for his smile to become contagious, and before she knew it, there was a smile on Lily’s face.

“I hate you,” she said, hitting his shoulder weakly as she tried to hold back giggles.

“Thought so,” he chuckled, kissing her temple.

“Speaking of, Lil, I really want to see Uranus,” Sirius said, and James sniggered as Remus rolled his eyes and Lily sighed, turning to look at Sirius.

“You’re disgusting,” she said simply, and James reached across the table to hi-five Sirius.

**“Harry told them what he'd heard.**

**"Snape's done it, then!" said Ron. "If Quirrell's told him how to break his Anti-Dark Force spell -"**

**"There's still Fluffy, though," said Hermione.”**

“YES! SHES RIGHT! WE DON’T GOT TO GIVE UP HOPE YET! **”**

“Sirius! Stop _screaming_!” Lily yelled

“I’d take my own advice if I were you,” Sirius sniffed indignantly, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus chuckled.

**“"Maybe Snape's found out how to get past him without asking Hagrid," said Ron, looking up at the thousands of books surrounding them.”**

“Oh look, it’s Lily’s heaven,” Sirius said, and Lily spluttered as James and Remus snorted in amusement

“Why was that necessary?” she asked, and Sirius grinned

“Because you wont let me see Uranus,” he retorted, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus continued sniggering.

“Well, don’t hold your breath,” she said, and Sirius pouted, “Actually, on second thought, do hold your breath,” she said, and Sirius pouted even further as Remus and James finally gave in to their laughter.

“You’d miss me if I died,” he said charmingly, “We both know it.”

“I respectfully disagree,” she said, winking at Sirius, who beamed.

“See? She’d miss me,” Sirius preened to Remus, who chuckled

**“"I bet there's a book somewhere in here telling you how to get past a giant three-headed dog. So what do we do, Harry?"”**

“Feel the overwhelming urge to go check it out?” James asked Lily, who glared at him as the other two snickered

“That’s rude-“

“And uncalled for?” James cut in, and Lily glared at him as Remus and Sirius laughed harder.

“Do you mind?” she whined, and James beamed.

“Not at all, love.”

“Pain in the arse,” Lily muttered, turning away from James, who only grinned wider.

“Why Harry?” Sirius said suddenly, “WHY? WHY ARE YOU ASKING HARRY? USE YOUR BRAIN MINION OF MINE!”

“I have a headache,” Remus muttered, shifting slightly away from Sirius, causing Lily and James to laugh and Sirius to look scandalized.

“Remus!”

“Sirius!” Remus mimicked, and Sirius huffed

“We’re over!” Sirius said, sticking his nose in the air away from Remus.

“Boo hoo,” Remus deadpanned, causing the golden couple to laugh harder and Sirius to sniff disdainfully once more.

**“The light of adventure was kindling again in Ron's eyes, but Hermione answered before Harry could.”**

“That absolute bitch,” Sirius swore, and Lily glared at him.

“Sirius!”

“Oh don’t get your knickers in a knot,” he said, and Lily raised her eyebrows threateningly as Remus and James smirked in anticipation.

“Excuse me?” she said in a low voice, and Sirius gulped.

“I mean, er, um, I love you?” he said weakly, and Lily burst into a fit of giggles are James and Remus roared with laughter.

**“"Go to Dumbledore. That's what we should have done ages ago. If we try anything ourselves we'll be thrown out for sure."”**

“Boring,” Sirius sung, and Remus turned to him irritably

“I’m trying to read here, stop bloody interrupting!”

“Sorry Mother Moony,” Sirius said, and Remus glared at him as James and Lily laughed.

“And also, that’s not boring, it’s responsible,” Lily said, and Sirius smirked.

“Same thing.”

“You’re incorrigible,” she said, smiling fondly.

“I believe you’re addressing the wrong Marauder there Lil-bit,” James said, and Lily slapped her forehead with her palm as the three Marauders sniggered.

“What have I gotten myself into?” she asked the heavens, and James grinned, kissing her on the cheek.

**“"But we've got no proof!" said Harry. "Quirrell's too scared to back us up. Snape's only got to say he doesn't know how the troll got in at Halloween and that he was nowhere near the third floor - who do you think they'll believe, him or us?”**

“Is that a trick question?” Sirius asked, and Lily snorted

“Don’t think so.”

“Think harder then,” Sirius retorted, and Lily quirked an amused brow at him as the others laughed.

“I hate how right he is,” James said, “It’s depressing.”

“What is? Him being right?” Lily asked confusedly, and James rolled his eyes as his friends grinned.

“No! The fact that everything’s as irritating as it seems,” Remus said, and Lily grimaced.

“Hopefully he makes it out of this just fine,” she said sadly, and the others beamed.

“How would he not be fine?” James asked, chest puffing out, “He is _my_ son.”

“You’re conceited,” Remus said, and Lily laughed

“You _just_ noticed?”

“Lily!”

**“It's not exactly a secret we hate him,”**

“Instant respect,” Sirius said, spreading his arms wide dramatically.

**“Dumbledore'll think we made it up to get him sacked. Filch wouldn't help us if his life depended on it, he's too friendly with Snape, and the more students get thrown out, the better, he'll think. And don't forget, we're not supposed to know about the Stone or Fluffy. That'll take a lot of explaining."”**

“Lily. You ruined him,” Sirius said, and Lily spluttered as Remus and James chuckled.

“That’s so mean! How could I have ruined him?” she asked, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“You’re his mother.”

“I’m dead! He never knew me!” she protested, and Sirius fell silent.

“Way to kill the mood,” James muttered, and Lily burst out laughing.

“I try,” she said, and the three boys sniggered.

“I thought we were done with that!” Remus laughed.

“Never,” Lily said, shaking her head, and the boys chuckled.

**“Hermione looked convinced, but Ron didn't.”**

“At least he has some good influence,” Sirius said, his expression that of massive approval

“Hermione? Agreed,” Lily said, and Sirius scowled at her grinning face as James and Remus laughed. 

**"If we just do a bit of poking around --"**

“He’s a right little Marauder, isn’t he?” Sirius said proudly, and the other Marauders chuckled.

“I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of,” Lily coughed, and the three boys gasped.

“Lily!” James said, flabbergasted, “How could you?”

“Easily,” she giggled, and the boys shook their heads, attempting to look insulted through their smiles.

“Why is it so hard to look irritated when she’s smiling like that?” Sirius asked Remus, who only sighed and shook his head.

“Search me,” Remus muttered, attempting to glare at Lily, who was giggling as James kissed her on top of her head, “No point asking that one either,” he murmured to Sirius, who smirked, “He’s useless when it comes to her.”

**“"No," said Harry flatly, "we've done enough poking around."”**

“Lily Evans. I hate you. My son is a boring person,” James said bitterly, and Remus snorted

“Didn’t seem like you hated her a few seconds ago,” he said, and James stuck his tongue out at his smirking friend.

“THERES NO SUCH THING AS ENOUGH POKING AROUND!” Sirius yelled, aghast.

“I respectfully disagree,” Lily said, rubbing her ears in disapproval, earning chuckles from both James and Remus.

“‘Course you do Mrs. Harry’s Mother,” Sirius said, and Lily quirked a brow at him.

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” she asked

“Yes Sirius, is the utilization of my son supposed to be an insult?” James challenged, and Sirius swore.

“Forgot he was James’ son too,” he muttered, and James beamed as Remus chuckled and Lily rolled her eyes.

**“He pulled a map of Jupiter toward him and started to learn the names of its moons.”**

“DISGRACE!” Sirius roared

“DON’T CALL MY SON A DISGRACE!” James roared

“DON’T YELL!” Remus yelled, and Sirius scoffed

“DON’T BE A HYPOCRITE!”

“SILENCIO!” Lily roared, and the three boys fell instantly silent, turning to gape at the red head, holding her wand out, “Now, let’s all shut up, and continue reading? Alright?” she said, and the three boys glared at her, “I will not give you your voices back until you promise to be well behaved. Got it?” she said, and the three boys glared for a few seconds before giving up and nodding. She waved her wand and the three boys glared at her.

“That was rude and uncalled for,” Sirius mimicked, and Lily, James and Remus burst out laughing.

**“The following morning, notes were delivered to Harry, Hermione, and Neville at the breakfast table.”**

“Merlin, I wonder what’s in it,” Sirius whispered, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed, “Oh, sorry, is this too loud for you?” he whispered, and Lily smirked.

“A little bit. Why don’t you try shutting up altogether?” she suggested sweetly, and he scowled.

“Rude,” he mouthed, and Lily laughed.

**“They were all the same:**

**_Your detention will take place at eleven o'clock tonight. Meet Mr. Filch in the entrance hall._ **

**_Professor McGonagall_ ** **”**

“FILCH? THAT’S CRUEL!” Sirius yelled, before pulling his wand out lightning fast and yeling, “ _Expelliarmus!”_

“Excuse you!” Lily squeaked, as Sirius grinned and put her wand in his pocket

“Nice one,” James chuckled, and Lily turned to glare at him, “I mean, er, rude,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Sirius Black! Give me my wand back!”

“Only when the chapter is over,” he said sternly, and she huffed.

“They’re meeting in the Entrance Hall?” Remus frowned, and James’ eyes widened in delight.

“FORBIDDEN FOREST?” he yelled excitedly, and Sirius gasped.

“NO WAY!”

“I miss my wand,” Lily pouted, and Remus grinned at her.

“I almost pity you.”

“Gee, thanks,” she drawled, and he laughed.

**“Harry had forgotten they still had detentions to do in the furor over the points they'd lost. He half expected Hermione to complain that this was a whole night of studying lost, but she didn't say a word. Like Harry, she felt they deserved what they'd got.”**

“Honey, what you have to learn is that you never deserve any punishments you get,” Sirius said wisely, and Lily snorted.

“I respectfully disagree,” Lily said, grabbing a fork in one hand and pointing it at Sirius, “You’re wrong.”

“And you feel the need to point a fork at me?” Sirius smirked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I’m making a point,” she said, waving the fork, and Remus sniggered.

“She’s fulfilling the absence of a wand,” he said, and Lily glared at him as the other two laughed

“You’re terrible,” she said, pointing the fork at him. Remus lifted up the closest utensil and pointed it at her.

“You’ve met your match Lily Evans,” he said, jabbing the spoon towards her, and she burst out laughing as James and Sirius fought their laughter.  

“Spoon against a fork? Really Remus? I fear you’re losing your touch,” she said, and he snorted.

”My dear, spoons are far more powerful than forks,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Objection.”

“Overruled,” Remus shot back, and Lily laughed.

“I still claim that forks beat spoons,” she said, “They can perform all the same functions that spoons do, and they have deadly spokes!”

“Oh really?” Remus challenged, and Lily nodded, “Well, have you ever tried having soup with a fork? Not possible, right? Therefore I win,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“You _could_ have soup with a fork. It’d just take very long,” she countered, and Remus sighed

“Touche,” he said, and Lily laughed

“I win!”

“Sorry mate,” Sirius mocked, patting Remus consolingly on the shoulder.

“C’est la vie,” Remus sighed dramatically

“La vie,” James said, and Remus rolled his eyes at James’ cheeky smile, as Lily and Sirius chuckled.

“Good, solid joke my friend,” Sirius complimented, and James chuckled.

“Thanks so much, kind sir.”

“How did we get here?” Lily asked, “From Harry’s detention to this?” she asked, and the boys laughed.

“Back to Harry’s detention we go!” Sirius said, fist in the air, and the others laughed.

**“At eleven o'clock that night, they said good-bye to Ron in the common room and went down to the entrance hall with Neville. Filch was already there”**

“See, my Minion knows how to do bad things and escape the consequences,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted.

“If I remember correctly, he was lying weakly in the Hospital Wing,” he said, and Sirius glared at him as James and Lily beamed.

“Look who’s minion’s tough now,” James teased, and Sirius huffed

“My minion was suffering,” he said, and Lily grinned

“That’s a sign of weakness,” she said, and Sirius huffed once more.

“At least he misses out on Filch,” James allowed, and the three Marauders shuddered.

“Oh hello Mr. Squib,” Sirius said bitterly, and the other boys laughed as Lily adopted a scandalized expression

“Sirius! That’s horrible!” she said, and Sirius sighed

“It is rather horrible isn’t it? Poor Filch,” he said, and Lily glared at him as James and Remus chuckled

“Apologize!” she commanded, and Sirius blinked, flabbergasted.

“To what?” he asked, and she huffed

“Just…apologize!”

“Er, sorry,” Sirius said to the ceiling, as James and Remus shook with mirth.

“Good boy,” Lily said.

**“-- and so was Malfoy.”**

“HEY! I forgot he was in detention too!” Sirius said excitedly

“This should be a lot more fun,” James smirked, and Sirius sniggered

“Think he’s as cowardly as his father when it comes to going into the forest?” Sirius asked, and James smirked.

“I’d put my money on it,” he said, and Sirius sniggered.

**“Harry had also forgotten that Malfoy had gotten a detention, too.”**

“You and me both mate,” Sirius said, whacking the book.

“What the fuck was that?” Remus yelled, as the book shut and fell on the floor due to a combination of the force of the whack and the unexpectedness

“I second that question,” James said, regarding Sirius as if he were mad. Lily, on the other hand, was giggling.

“Did you just, hi-five the book?” she wheezed, and Sirius flushed as James and Remus’ jaws dropped

“Oh my Merlin, that’s it, isn’t it?” James asked, and Sirius glared at the giggling Lily before raising his head.

“Yes,” he said proudly, and James groaned, slapping his palm to his forehead, as the muttering Remus leaned down to fetch the book.

“What am I going to do with you?” James groaned, and Sirius smirked

“Whatever you want,” he said, winking obviously at James, who rolled his eyes, fighting a smile, as Lily laughed harder.

“You’re bloody lucky I looked at the page number,” Remus muttered, and the couple laughed as Sirius beamed at Remus

“Then no harm done!” he said happily, and Remus glared at him.

**“"Follow me," said Filch, lighting a lamp and leading them outside.”**

“Three cheers for the Forbidden Forest!” Sirius announced, and the other two Marauders beamed as Lily rolled her eyes, “Hip-Hip!”

“Hooray!” James and Remus yelled. Lily lowered her head to the table, steadily hitting her head against it.

“Hip-Hip!”

“Hooray!”

“Hip-Hip!”

“Hooray!”

“Why is it Hip-Hip?” Lily asked, surfacing from her incessant head banging with a red mark on her forehead, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Lily, you say the funniest things,” James said lovingly, and she shrugged

“And we’re also laughing at the red mark you now have on your forehead,” Remus added, and Lily’s hand flew up to her forehead as the boys burst out laughing once more.

**““I bet you'll think twice about breaking a school rule again, won't you, eh?" he said, leering at them.”**

“Oh, so that’s what detention’s for?” Sirius asked, and Remus and Lily rolled their eyes as James smirked

“It’s never worked on us,” James said, and Sirius huffed

“Well then they might as well get rid of it all together!”

“It works on normal people,” Lily said, and the boys turned to look at her, amused.

“Name one,” James challenged, and Lily opened her mouth to retort, before sighing and shutting it.

“Victory!” Sirius yelled, hi-fiving James across the table.

**“"Oh yes... hard work and pain are the best teachers if you ask me....”**

“Really? I’d say McGonagall was the best,” Sirius said in a faux thoughtful manner, and the others laughed.

“This is all according to Filch though,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted.

“If you ask me,” he mimicked in a dead on imitation of Filch.

“Well, nobody did,” said James bitterly, and the others snorted.

“You astound me with your wit Mr. Potter,” Lily said, and James shook his head fondly as Sirius and Remus snickered.

“ **It's just a pity they let the old punishments die out... hang you by your wrists from the ceiling for a few days, I've got the chains still in my office, keep 'em well oiled in case they're ever needed....”**

Lily shuddered violently and the boys smirked at her.

“What? Scared of a little bondage action Evans?” Sirius asked, wagging his eyebrows, and Lily’s jaw dropped as James and Remus howled with laughter

“HOW do you manage to make _everything_ dirty?” she squeaked, and Sirius grinned

“It’s a talent.”

“I’m not impressed,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus laughed.

“It works on the other girls,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged

“Well I’m not like normal girls,” she said, and the boys laughed

“Love, if you were a normal girls, you’d have said yes to Prongs the second he asked you out,” Remus said, and Sirius and Lily laughed as James shook his head in embarrassment.

**“Right, off we go, and don't think of running off, now, it'll be worse for you if you do."**

“Really? I didn’t think anything could be worse than spending time with Filch,” Sirius shuddered, and the others laughed.

“You could be stuck with McGoogles,” Remus said, and Sirius shuddered

“Now that’s frightening. I hate detention with her.”

“Now that’s not fair! She’s really nice once you get to know her,” Lily said, defending her mentor’s honour, and Sirius snorted.

“Doesn’t change the fact that I hate detention with her. At least with the other supervisors you can slack off a little, but with McGonagall…” he trailed off, an expression of deep pain on his face.

“Good thing you have one soon then,” James noted, and Sirius groaned as Remus laughed, and Lily quirked a brow

“Detention?” she asked, and the boys chuckled.

“He told McGonagall to keep her hair on,” James said, and Lily burst out laughing.

“Merlin! When was this?”

“When you lot had that big awkward chapter,” Sirius said, and Lily and James reddened as Remus sniggered.

“Way to make it awkward,” Remus complimented, clapping the sniggering Sirius on the back.

**“They marched off across the dark grounds. Neville kept sniffing.”**

“Oh bloody grow a pair already, you’re in Gryffindor,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, and Lily glared at him.

“He’s scared! Leave him alone,” she said, and Sirius snorted.

“No scaredey-puss is allowed in Gryffindor,” he said, and Lily quirked a brow.

“Well then maybe you should bloody well leave,” she said, and Sirius gasped as James and Remus laughed

“I’m not a scaredey-puss!” he squawked, and Lily smirked.

“Then why did you steal my wand?” she challenged, and Sirius gaped as James and Remus burst out laughing.

**“Harry wondered what their punishment was going to be. It must be something really horrible, or Filch wouldn't be sounding so delighted.”**

“Sounds about right,” Remus said, and James snorted.

“Filch has always thought the Forest was the worst type of punishment. It’s not big deal,” he said, and Sirius nodded in agreement.

“NO BIG DEAL?” Lily screeched, whacking James in the arm, “He’s going in the bloody FOREST James. It’s DANGEROUS!”

“Oi! Estrogen gone wild!” Sirius yelled, and Lily turned to look at him incredulously as James and Remus shook with laughter, James massaging his arm, “Shut up and calm down,” he said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

“Don’t _ever_ call me that again,” she muttered, burying herself into a bewildered James’ side.

“Am I just a prop to you?” he asked, and Lily beamed at him as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“You’re a pillow and a punching bag, all in one,” she confirmed, and James sighed dramatically.

“See what I have to put up with?” he asked Sirius, who snorted.

“Mate, you bothered me about her for years. If you dump her now I will kill you,” he said, and Remus smirked as James flushed and Lily grinned.

“I agree. You asked for it,” he said, nodding towards Lily, who quirked a brow at him.

“It?”

“I mean, the beautiful redhead on your arm,” Remus corrected, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as James and Sirius chuckled.

**“The moon was bright, but clouds scudding across it kept throwing them into darkness.”**

“And the poet reawakens,” Sirius said wistfully, and the others laughed

“And I thought he was done with this,” Lily giggled, looking up at James from her position cuddled up by his ribs, and he grinned down at her.

“As did we Lil, as did we,” Remus sighed, shaking his head sadly as Sirius continued to blubber on about poetry and beauty.

“Oi! You! Hair Gel gone wild!” Lily called, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“EXCUSE YOU?!” Sirius roared, and Lily grinned at him.

“Shut up and calm down,” she mimicked, and he huffed as the others laughed.

**“Ahead, Harry could see the lighted windows of Hagrid's hut. Then they heard a distant shout.**

**"Is that you, Filch? Hurry up, I want ter get started."”**

“Bloody hell,” Sirius sighed longingly, and the others looked at him curiously, “Detention in the Forest _and_ with Hagrid for his first detention? This kid is so lucky,” he whined, and the other two boys nodded in agreement.

“At least he’ll enjoy his first detention,” James said, “Everyone loves detention with Hagrid, especially in the forest.”

“Okay, you know what, only you lot enjoy going in the forest,” she said, and the boys grinned mischievously, “And detention isn’t supposed to be enjoyable,” she finished, and the boys grinned.

“Love, you’ve obviously never had a detention,” James said condescendingly, bending down to kiss her on top of the head.

“That’s my new goal,” Sirius laughed, “Detention in the forest with Lil-bit,” he said, and Lily gasped as the boys grinned devilishly

“No!” she squeaked, and Sirius beamed.

“This is going to be so much fun,” he said to James, who chuckled.

**“Harry's heart rose; if they were going to be working with Hagrid it wouldn't be so bad.”**

“Exactly!” Sirius said cheerfully

“C’mon Lil, cheer up, at least he’s with Hagrid!” James said, nudging Lily, who sighed and let a small smile through

“I suppose it’s best if he’s with Hagrid,” she allowed, and the three boys whooped.

“We’ve officially converted her,” Sirius said proudly, and Lily quirked a brow

“How so?”

“Love, before you met us, you would’ve been all ‘no matter what all detentions are bad!’” Sirius squeaked in an attempt at imitation, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed

“First off,” she started, and the boys smiled in anticipation, “I don’t sound like that," she glared at Sirius, who winked at her as Remus and James laughed, “And secondly, I was always like this, you lot just bring out the worst in me,” she said, and Sirius placed his hand on his chest.

“Oh Lily!” he said, voice laced with faux emotion, “We bring out the worst in you?”

“You’re making me blush,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the three boys burst out laughing.

“They all suck,” Lily said to her fork, earning more laughter.

**“His relief must have showed in his face,”**

“Big mistake,” James said.

“He’ll learn,” Sirius said, comfortingly, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You’re all ridiculous,” she muttered, and the two pouted as Remus gasped

“Why am _I_ ridiculous?” he asked, and she shrugged

“You’re all Marauders,” she said simply, and Remus huffed as the other two gasped.

“You can’t insult us like this!” James protested

“And haven’t we welcomed you to the Marauders?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head fondly

“That was hardly serious,” she said, and Sirius quirked a brow

“I was dead serious,” he said, and Lily smirked

“You were serious Sirius?” she asked, and he threw her a deadpan look as James and Remus roared with laughter.

**“because Filch said, "I suppose you think you'll be enjoying yourself with that oaf. Well, think again, boy - it's into the forest you're going and I'm much mistaken if you'll all come out in one piece."”**

“Oh tosh,” Sirius said, waving his hand around, “Don’t believe a word of it Harry, he’s just shitting you.”

“Just _please_ with the language,” Lily said, and the three boys turned to her as if she were a lunatic.

“Because you’re the perfect washed mouth?” James teased, and she glared at him as the other boys laughed.

“No! Because I don’t want you lot corrupting the house elves!” she said, and the boys adopted guilty expressions

“We’ve already corrupted one,” Remus murmured, and Lily gasped.

“You corrupted a house elf?” she squeaked, and the three boys nodded somberly, James and Sirius fighting smiles, “What did you do?” she asked, nudging James violently.

“We just…taught him a swear word?” James bit out through the pain in his rib, “And woman, I retire as your punching bag,” he said, and she pouted, “Now I’m just pillow.”

“You can punch pillows,” Remus said, and James shot him a nasty glare as Lily and Sirius laughed.

“And this is why I’m friends with you Remus,” she said, and Remus grinned proudly, “And what is this swear word you taught an innocent house elf?” she asked threateningly, and instantly the three boys looked away from her, fighting laughter, “What is it?”

Just then, a dish fell to the floor, creating a loud clang, and the four winced as a loud squeaky shout sounded, “FUCK!”

“You did not,” Lily laughed, turning to the boys, who were shaking with restrained laughter, “You’re horrible!” she laughed, and the boys beamed.

**“At this, Neville let out a little moan, and Malfoy stopped dead in his tracks.”**

James and Sirius sniggered madly at this, and the others chuckled.

“This is going to be so much fun!” Sirius giggled, and Lily laughed.

“Did you just giggle Sirius?” she squeaked, and he cleared his throat awkwardly as James and Remus snorted with laughter.

“No,” he said, his voice unnaturally deep, causing the other three to burst into laughter.

**“"The forest?" he repeated, and he didn't sound quite as cool as usual.”**

“Cool? Malfoy?” James said disbelievingly, before turning to Lily, “Has he been drugged?”

“Must’ve been,” Sirius said, shaking his head in shock.

“It’s a phrase,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, “he doesn’t actually think Malfoy is cool,” he said, and the two boys pretended to be relieved as Lily giggled, “Now if you’ll all stop being bleeding idiots, I’d like to keep reading,” he sniffed, and James, Sirius and Lily gasped.

“Even me?” Lily pouted, and Remus sniffed.

“You included me with them, therefore this is my revenge,” he said, and Lily pretended to cry in James’ shoulder.

“Why do they keep insulting us?” James asked Sirius, who snorted and shook his head

“They’re jealous, mate,” he clarified, and both Lily and Remus snorted, “Oi!”

**“"We can't go in there at night -- there's all sorts of things in there -- werewolves, I heard!"”**

“Not anymore,” Remus muttered, and both James and Sirius sniggered violently as Remus hid his face slightly.

“What?” Lily asked, and Remus looked panicked between James and Sirius.

“Remus was scared of that as well the first time we went in there,” Sirius said quickly, and Lily giggled

“Cute,” she said, and James spluttered.

“So, he’s a scaredey-puss, and you call him cute, but when I told you I was chivalrous enough to go in there you call me a toerag? Where’s the logic in that?” he asked, and both Remus and Sirius laughed as Lily giggled.

“Well, in my defense, you were hitting on me,” she said, and James pouted.

“This hurts my feelings,” he said, and Lily shrugged

“At least I know you’re human,” she said, and James shot her a sarcastic look as Remus and Sirius laughed some more.

**“Neville clutched the sleeve of Harry's robe and made a choking noise.”**

“Oh untwist your knickers there are no werewolves in there,” Remus snorted, and both James and Sirius hid their snickers with coughs.

“Don’t be so mean! He’s scared!” Lily protested

“But it’s true!” Remus said defensively, and Lily sighed

“I thought Sirius was the rude one,” she sniffed, and Remus’ jaw dropped in shock as James and Sirius shook with laughter at seeing Lily’s cheeky smile.

**“"That's your problem, isn't it?" said Filch, his voice cracking with glee. "Should've thought of them werewolves before you got in trouble, shouldn't you?"”**

“There are no werewolves in the forbidden forest,” Remus said, and both James and Sirius beamed.

“Anymore,” James coughed, and Lily frowned.

“What was that?” she asked, and James shook his head

“Nothing love,” he said smoothly, smiling charmingly down at her.

“If you think that’s going to work on me like it’s worked on your last girlfriends you are strongly mistaken,” she said sternly, and James smirked as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Love, I’d be sorely disappointed if it worked on you,” James said, and Lily beamed.

**“Hagrid came striding toward them out of the dark, Fang at his heel. He was carrying his large crossbow, and a quiver of arrows hung over his shoulder.”**

“What?” James said confusedly

“Why the crossbow?” Sirius asked, and Remus frowned

“Sounds a lot more dangerous than the stuff we have to do on detention in the Forest,” he said, and the other two boys frowned deeper.

“What do you lot usually do?” Lily asked warily, and James shrugged.

“Feed animals, groom them,” he shrugged, “Gather materials maybe.”

“Nothing requiring a crossbow,” Remus finished, nodding.

“Then…what are they doing?” Lily asked, and the boys shook their heads.

“Detentions have really kicked up since we left, eh?” Sirius said in a weak attempt at a joke, earning humourless chuckles from everyone.

“Is it wrong that I’m kind of scared?” Lily whispered to James, who smiled down at her and wrapped his arm around her.

**“"Abou' time," he said. "I bin waitin' fer half an hour already. All right, Harry, Hermione?"”**

“Such a friendly detention supervisor,” Sirius said happily, and the others rolled their eyes

“We’re being scared Sirius,” Remus said, and Sirius gasped.

“Oh, okay, um, I’m frightened,” he said, and the others burst out laughing.

**“"I shouldn't be too friendly to them, Hagrid," said Filch coldly, "they're here to be punished, after all."”**

“Only because you wouldn’t know how to be friendly if friendliness slapped you in the face,” Sirius muttered, and Lily giggled.

“What happened to frightened?” she teased, and Sirius shrugged.

“I talk when I’m scared,” he said, and Lily smiled warmly at his vulnerability.

**“"That's why yer late, is it?" said Hagrid, frowning at Filch. "Bin lecturin' them, eh? 'Snot your place ter do that. Yeh've done yer bit, I'll take over from here."”**

“You tell him Hagrid,” Lily said, and the boys grinned at her

“What was that?” James teased, nudging her, and she flushed a beautiful shade of pink.

“I don’t like Filch, okay?” she said defensively, and the boys chuckled.

“What happened to being frightened?” Sirius teased, and she grinned

“Carpe Diem?” she suggested, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Oh Lily, what would we do without you?” Remus chuckled, and she beamed.

“Die, probably,” she said, and the boys shook their heads fondly.

**“"I'll be back at dawn," said Filch,”**

“Dawn?” James asked, alarmed.

“Detentions usually don’t take more than a couple hours…” Sirius said, and James nodded as if to say ‘exactly’.

“Something’s wrong here,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted.

“Than you Captain Obvious,” he said, and Lily laughed

“That’s back?” she asked, and Sirius laughed.

“I suppose so.”

**“"for what's left of them," he added nastily, and he turned and started back toward the castle, his lamp bobbing away in the darkness.”**

“BYE FILCH!” Sirius yelled, and Lily shushed him through her laughter as James and Remus roared with laughter and a few house elves turned curiously towards the door, looking for Filch.

**“Malfoy now turned to Hagrid.**

**"I'm not going in that forest, he said, and Harry was pleased to hear the note of panic in his voice.”**

“Yes, he’s obviously your son,” Lily said, and the boys laughed

“Are you saying you’re not thrilled to hear the panic in Malfoy’s voice?” James teased, and Lily smirked.

“You have no proof,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Hagrid wont take this very easily, now will he?” Remus asked, and Sirius started to snigger madly

“I LOVE THIS BOOK!” he exclaimed excitedly, and the others laughed.

**“"Yeh are if yeh want ter stay at Hogwarts," said Hagrid fiercely. "Yeh've done wrong an' now yeh’ve got ter pay fer it."”**

“Oh my, someone’s gone fierce,” Lily laughed, and Sirius beamed

“I LOVE THIS BOOK!”

“Yes, thank you Captain Obvious,” Remus muttered, rubbing his ears, and Sirius gasped as James and Lily laughed.

“Don’t use my own line against me!” he squawked, and Remus smirked at Lily

“You have no proof,” he said, and Lily laughed

“Well done,” she clapped, and Remus pretended to take a bow.

“I learn from the best,” he shrugged, and James huffed

“Stop hitting on my girl,” he said, and Remus sighed dramatically as Sirius and Lily laughed

“But she’s so pretty!”

“No,” James said sternly, fighting a smile.

“Looks like we cant ever tell him about us,” Remus said to Lily, who pretended to wipe away a tear.

“I’ll cherish those moments forever,” she promised, and Remus trembled his lower lip before turning back to the book, much to everyone’s amusement.

**“"But this is servant stuff, it's not for students to do. I thought we'd be copying lines or something, if my father knew I was doing this,””**

“Why do Malfoy’s always bring their fathers into everything?” Lily asked, and Sirius snorted.

“Because fathers are so respected and bloody _perfect_ ,” he spat, and the others bit their lips awkwardly.

“And Outcast strikes again,” Lily said weakly, and Sirius burst out laughing as James and Remus grinned thankfully at Lily.

“In Malfoy’s defense, not that I’m on his side or anything,” Remus added quickly upon seeing the other two boys’ aghast expressions and Lily’s amused one, “I thought they’d be copying lines or something too,” he said, and Lily sighed

“I agree with Remus,” she said, and James sniffed.

“Only because of your secret relationship,” he said, and Lily winked at him as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**““he'd tell yer that's how it is at Hogwarts," Hagrid growled. "Copyin' lines! What good's that ter anyone?””**

“Hear hear!” Sirius exclaimed, and the other three laughed.

“He has a point,” Lily said, “To this day I have no idea why people make you copy lines,” she said.

“Because it’s dead boring?” Remus suggested.

“No, if they wanted dead boring they’d make you clean,” James pointed out, “That’s productive and boring,” he said, and Remus sighed and nodded.

“If writing lines hurt then it’d be suitable punishment,” Sirius said, and James nodded in agreement.

“But that will never happen,” Lily said, and the boys grinned.

“Thankfully,” James chuckled, and Lily rolled her eyes at the three.

**“Yeh'll do summat useful or yeh'll get out.   If yeh think yer father'd rather you were expelled, then get back off ter the castle an' pack. Go on"”**

“Hagrid one billion, Malfoy zero,” Sirius said as James and Remus hooted gleefully and Lily laughed at them.

“I’m sure Hagrid has more than one billion,” James chuckled, and Lily shook her head.

“Correction. I’m sure Malfoy has less than zero,” she said, and the three boys laughed.

“Touché my friend, touché,” James chuckled, kissing her temple.

“Don’t ever call me your friend ever again,” Lily said, and James smirked as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“If that’s how you treat your friends, I wish to step down,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted.

“Me too,” he said, and James pouted.

“I’m expressing my love!”

“Express it like a man,” Sirius said, and James rolled his eye as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Malfoy didn't move. He looked at Hagrid furiously, but then dropped his gaze.”**

“WOOT!” Sirius and James yelled, and Lily sighed, resting her head on the table once more.

“Trying to reinstate the red mark there, Evans?” Sirius asked, and Lily’s head snapped up quickly so she was sitting upright as the three boys laughed.

**“"Right then," said Hagrid, "now, listen carefully, 'cause it's dangerous what we're gonna do tonight, an' I don' want no one takin' risks. Follow me over here a moment."”**

“Hold it,” James frowned, “What the bloody hell is going on?”

“Dangerous?” Sirius whined, “Why don’t _we_ get to do anything dangerous?”

“Not the time Sirius,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“It’s a fair question! We’re big bad sixth years and all we do is bloody feed animals. They get to do dangerous things!” Sirius protested, slamming his palm on the table for emphasis.

“Well, maybe it’s dangerous for first years, maybe that’s completely different from dangerous for sixth years, no?” Lily suggested, and the boys nodded

“That sounds about right,” James said uncertainly, a strain of hope in his voice.

“Yeah, and dangerous in first year is looking after Pygmy Puffs,” Sirius said wisely, earning himself three pairs of rolled eyes.

**“He led them to the very edge of the forest.”**

“That can’t be too dangerous,” James said, smiling slightly in his relief, “What could you do at the edge of the forest?”

“I told you, Pygmy Puffs,” Sirius said, and James stuck his tongue out at his best friend as Lily and Remus chuckled.

**“Holding his lamp up high, he pointed down a narrow, winding earth track that disappeared into the thick black trees. A light breeze lifted their hair as they looked into the forest. ”**

“Poetry in a time of darkness,” Sirius sniffed, “Win!”

“That’s when and where all poetry is written,” Lily said, shaking her head in an exasperated manner, and the others chuckled as Sirius waved his hands in an ‘aww shucks’ motion.

**“"Look there," said Hagrid, "see that stuff shinin' on the ground?   Silvery stuff? That's unicorn blood.”**

“WHAT? WHAT THE-?”

“BEEEP!” Sirius yelled, and both Remus and James burst out laughing.

“SHUSH!” Lily yelled, looking panicked, “Did he say _unicorn blood_?”

“I know,” said Remus solemnly, a concerned expression on his face, “What could’ve done that to a unicorn?”

“What are you suggesting?” Lily quipped, catching on to Remus’ thoughtful tone.

“How does she know him so well?” Sirius asked James, who shook his head in amazement.  

**“There's a unicorn in there bin hurt badly by summat. This is the second time in a week. I found one dead last Wednesday. We're gonna try an' find the poor thing. We might have ter put it out of its misery."”**

“Oh my Merlin,” Lily said, frowning deeply, “I need to go to the-”

“Library, we know, but you should find out with us, it’ll be a lot more entertaining,” James chuckled, placing a restraining arm around her shoulder, causing her to glare at him.

“You suck,” she said, and Sirius smirked.

“Actually,” he started, but was cut of by Remus’ hand smacking on his mouth.

“If you finish that perverted disgusting thought, I will kill you,” Remus said, and Sirius’ eyes twinkled madly as Lily and James laughed awkwardly.

**“"And what if whatever hurt the unicorn finds us first?" said Malfoy, unable to keep the fear out of his voice.”**

“For once I agree with him,” Sirius announced, earning bewildered glances from the other three.

“Well that’s a first,” Remus laughed, and Lily giggled.

“Outcast, I am outraged,” she gasped, and Sirius winked at her.

“No worries love, we can talk about how people suck later,” he said, and Lily groaned, hiding her face, as Remus and James roared with laughter.

“Lily, don’t feel too betrayed, this is a display of family bonding that we are witnessing,” James said, gesturing to Sirius, who scowled at his cheekily grinning friend.

“I hate you James Potter,” Sirius huffed, and Lily beamed.

“My legacy,” she said happily, and James pouted as the three laughed.

**“"There's nothin' that lives in the forest that'll hurt yeh if yer with me or Fang," said Hagrid.”**

“How do you think he got to know everything?” Sirius asked James, who shrugged.

“Hagrid practically lived in the forest since he was thirteen,” James said slowly, pondering, “So I’m guessing he went in there a lot…I doubt he had much to do,” James finished, and Lily smirked.

“That was a lot of pondering on your part,” she said, nodding her head, “We’ll head to the Hospital Wing later to get you a painkiller or something,” she said cheekily, placing a quick kiss on the flabbergasted James’ face as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

**“"An' keep ter the path.”**

“Yeah boys,” Lily said innocently.

“Oi Lily!” the boys yelled, as the girl laughed manically

“I think _you_ need a visit to the Hospital wing,” James chuckled, “What’s happened to you?”

“The ketchup went to her head,” Sirius said wisely, and Remus laughed.

“That’s probably why the bloody sandwich tasted so good, it was drugged!”

“Lily! Drugs are bad!” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys sniggered.

**“Right, now, we're gonna split inter two parties an' follow the trail in diff'rent directions. There's blood all over the place, it must've bin staggerin' around since last night at least."”**

“Poor thing!” Remus cooed, causing both James and Sirius to turn to him, their eyes dancing with amusement

“Does the pretty pony in pain bother Remmy-poo?” James teased, as Sirius sniggered, and Remus flushed.

“Shut up! It’s a unicorn! They shouldn’t be hurt!” Remus yelled, attempting to be heard over James and Sirius’ laughter, “Don’t you think so Lil?”

“THEY’RE SPLITTING UP?” Lily shrieked, her eyes wide.

“And _I_ yell too much,” Sirius snickered, earning a glare from Lily as Remus and James smirked.

“I hope Harry’s with Hagrid,” Lily said, biting her nails nervously, as the others chuckled.

“You worry too much love,” James said, smiling fondly as he pulled her into his side, “You’ll go prematurely grey.”

“My hair is already unique, grey wouldn’t be much different,” she muttered bitterly, and Sirius and Remus laughed as James smiled at Lily.

**“"I want Fang," said Malfoy quickly, looking at Fang's long teeth.”**

“Sure, go ahead, he’s a bloody coward,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

“That is true,” Lily giggled, “He shot under Hagrid’s bed when I dropped a cup,” she laughed, and Sirius gasped.

“You broke a cup?” he said disapprovingly, and the other boys burst out laughing as Lily shook her head fondly.

“How irresponsible,” Remus chastised playfully, “Weren’t you paying attention?”

“Oh shut up,” Lily mumbled as the others laughed.

**“"All right, but I warn yeh, he's a coward," said Hagrid.”**

“I can imagine Malfoy’s face just falling!” Sirius said gleefully, and the others laughed.

“I’d pay good money to see that,” James sighed longingly.

“Since you can, being rich and all,” Remus said, and Lily laughed, leaning across the table to hi-five Remus as Sirius roared with laughter and James’ mouth fell open.

“Why am I being teased for this? _How_ did this get back to me?” James asked, as the other three continued to laugh.

“It’s okay Jamesie-poo,” Lily giggled, pinching his cheek, “You might as well get used to it,” she finished, grinning cheekily at James as he glared at her.

“First off, don’t touch my cheeks,” James said, leaning away from Lily, causing the other three to laugh, “And do not call me Jamesie-poo, or I will get very angry,” he finished, and Lily beamed at him, causing his angry face to falter.

“Alright Jamesie-poo,” she sighed, patting his cheek distractedly, and James chuckled as the others burst out laughing.

“You’re impossible,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“I learn from the best,” she said, winking at James, who sighed as Remus and Sirius continued to snigger.

**“"So me, Harry, an' Hermione'll”**

“Harry, Hermione and I,” Remus corrected, and the others turned to him, bewildered.

“Even _I_ didn’t feel the need to do that, you have serious problems,” Lily said, shaking her head mockingly, and Remus pouted as James and Sirius laughed.

“Merlin Remus,” James drawled, and Remus stuck his tongue out at him, “Even Lily didn’t feel the need to do that, you have serious problems.”

“Don’t repeat what I said,” Lily laughed, whacking James in the arm as Remus and Sirius chuckled.

“HEY that’s fun!” Sirius suddenly exclaimed, and the others frowned at him, “No Draco or Neville! Bliss!”

“You’re rude,” Lily said, and Sirius grinned.

“And you love it.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Lily said, a wry smile on her face.

“I’ll tell you what would help me sleep at night,” Sirius winked, and Lily shook her head fondly as James put his arm protectively around Lily and stuck his tongue out at Sirius.

“Possessive,” Remus sung under his breath while turning the page, and both Lily and Sirius burst out laughing as James gasped dramatically.

**“go one way an' Draco, Neville, an' Fang'll go the other. Now, if any of us finds the unicorn, we'll send up green sparks, right? Get yer wands out an' practice now -- that's it -- an' if anyone gets in trouble, send up red sparks, an' we'll all come an' find yeh -- so, be careful -- let's go."”**

“Look at them all able to do sparks,” Sirius sniffed, “Growing up so fast!”

“Oh shut up,” Lily giggled, whacking her arm in his direction as James and Remus laughed, “Also,” she said, “Since you lot are the experts on all things dangerous,” she continued, earning devilish grins from all three of the boys, “is it safe for them to go alone?”

“Who cares? Hopefully Malfoy and Neville get eaten or something,” Sirius said, grinning foolishly at the thought.

“Only if we’re all lucky,” James sighed sadly, before the three boys burst out sniggering.

“You’re all so MEAN. They’re KIDS!” Lily squawked, whacking each boy in term, causing all to laugh.

“Well Neville is. Malfoy’s part Demon,” Remus reasoned, and Lily snorted.

“Touché,” she concurred, and the boys burst out laughing, “You know, I bet he’s like his mum, had no choice and all,” Lily said sadly, and Sirius shrugged.

“Possible, especially with Lucius as a father. We’ll never know,” he shrugged, and the others sighed.

**“The forest was black and silent. A little way into it they reached a fork in the earth path, and Harry, Hermione, and Hagrid took the left path while Malfoy, Neville, and Fang took the right.”**

“Oh no!” Sirius gasped, looking genuinely worried, and Lily beamed proudly.

“Finally worried there Sirius?” she said smugly, a large smile on her face.

“Yes!” Sirius squeaked, and Lily bounced happily, “FANG BE CAREFUL!” Sirius bellowed, and Lily froze, a scandalized expression on her face, as James and Remus burst out laughing at her reaction.

**“They walked in silence, their eyes on the ground. Every now and then a ray of moonlight through the branches above lit a spot of silver-blueblood on the fallen leaves.”**

“That’s ridiculously eerie,” Lily said, shaking her head, and Sirius grimaced

“I agree,” he said solemnly, “At least he was poetic,” he reasoned, winking at Lily, who slapped her forehead with her palm as Remus and James sniggered.

“He knows exactly how to push your buttons,” Remus snickered, and Sirius’ eyes twinkled.

“That’s not the only thing I know exactly how to push,” he said, winking at Lily, who reddened slightly and leaned into James, who chuckled and hugged Lily to him.

“What’s with all the innuendos?” James asked, and Sirius shrugged.

“In the mood,” he said, and Remus snorted.

“No-one wants to know when you’re horny, Sirius,” Remus drawled, and Sirius sighed.

“How can I not be with Lily sitting right there?”

“Can we not, please?” Lily squeaked, and the three boys laughed.

**“Harry saw that Hagrid looked very worried.**

**"Could a werewolf be killing the unicorns?" Harry asked.”**

Remus rolled his eyes, causing James and Sirius to laugh.

“He’s only eleven! Don’t be so mean!” Lily said defensively, interpreting their interaction wrongly.

“Sorry,” Remus said, and both James and Sirius smirked.

“Scary isn’t it when Hagrid’s worried?” Sirius asked, changing the topic for Remus’ benefit.

“Worrisome actually,” James said, smirking like a loon.

“Funny, James,” Lily deadpanned, and James beamed at her.

“I try,” he repeated, and the others burst out laughing.

“Quit mocking me,” Lily laughed, nudging James playfully, and he kissed her on the temple, laughing.

**“"Not fast enough," said Hagrid.”**

Remus stuck his tongue out at the mocking faces of James and Sirius, who were trying very hard to hide their laughter from Lily, who was busy playing with a string escaping on the bottom of her scarf.

**“"It's not easy ter catch a unicorn, they're powerful magic creatures. I never knew one ter be hurt before."”**

“Plus there’s the curse,” Lily said, and the three boys smiled.

“Teach us more Professor Evans,” Sirius said, leaning forwards on the table and grinning at Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him.

“Don’t pretend you don’t already know about it,” she said, and the boys smirked, “And if you should know, If I were ever a Professor, it would not be for Care of Magical Creatures,” she said pompously, and the boys laughed.

“Then what would you teach?” Remus asked, and James smirked.

“Transfiguration?” he asked innocently, and Lily glared at him as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Don’t mock me! Some things I’m just not good at!” she said, and James snorted.

“You’re good at everything,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“That’s besides the point,” she said, and the boys chuckled fondly, “But I’d probably teach Charms,” she said, and the boys nodded.

“I can see that,” Sirius said, and Lily beamed.

“Thank you.”

“I’m thankful really,” Sirius continued, “I thought you’d say History of Magic,” he said, winking at Lily’s scandalized expression as James and Remus laughed.

**“They walked past a mossy tree stump.”**

“It can’t help but be mossy! Don’t be so rude!” Sirius said indignantly, and the three Marauders burst out laughing as Lily shook her head fondly.

“You’re all ridiculous,” Lily said, her voice shaking with restrained laughter.

**“Harry could hear running water; there must be a stream somewhere close by. There were still spots of unicorn blood here and there along the winding path.”**

“Bet he needs to pee now,” Sirius sung, and the other two boys chuckled.

“Oh my _Merlin_ Sirius, shut _up_ ,” Lily whined, and the boys laughed.

“Am I bothering you love?” Sirius teased, and Lily glared at him.

“Very much so,” she sniffed.

“You wound me,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes, “I know a way you can make it up to me,” he winked, a naughty lilt in his voice.

“Sirius Black!” Lily said indignantly, and the three boys roared with laughter, James grinning at Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him.

**“"You all right, Hermione?" Hagrid whispered. "Don' worry, it can't've gone far if it's this badly hurt, an' then we'll be able ter -- GET BEHIND THAT TREE!"”**

As Remus yelled out the last line, the other three jumped violently, Lily emitting a small scream, Sirius’ eating utensils scattering to the floor, and James slipping backwards off the bench, grabbing the table to keep himself from falling to the floor.

Gathering themselves, the three glared at Remus, who was sniggering madly.

“DON’T YELL!” Sirius yelled, and Remus smirked at him as Lily and James nodded in agreement.

“Look who’s talking,” Remus said, nodding towards Sirius, who huffed as Lily and James laughed.

“Despite the scare you just gave me, I have to give you credit for that,” Lily said, and Remus smirked at him.

“Forget Remus and his nonsense,” James said, and Remus glared at him as the other two chuckled, “What the fuck is happening?” James asked, and the other three shook their heads in a defeated manner.

“It’s frightening me,” Lily admitted quietly, and James smiled sweetly, grabbing her hand under the table.

**“Hagrid seized Harry and Hermione and hoisted them off the path behind a towering oak.”**

“Tsk tsk, they’re off the path,” Sirius said.

“Merlin Sirius! Shut up!” Lily squawked, and the boys burst out laughing

“Someone’s caught into the story,” James coughed, and Lily nudged him.

**“He pulled out an arrow and fitted it into his crossbow, raising it, ready to fire. The three of them listened. Something was slithering over dead leaves nearby: it sounded like a cloak trailing along the ground.”**

“Merlin!” Sirius gasped, and the others turned to him, their eyes wide in slight panic.

“What Sirius?” Remus asked, and Sirius turned to him.

“It’s _Snape!_ ” he gasped, and the others burst out laughing.

“RUN!” James yelled, and the boys continued laughing as Lily shook her head, obviously not amused.

“If you’re all done being idiots, I’d like to know what happens,” she said, and the three boys pouted at her.

“Seriously though,” Remus started, but was cut off by laughter from Sirius.

“I was Sirius!” he said, “Still am!”

“What’s happening?” Remus continued, as if Sirius hadn’t spoken and James wasn’t sniggering, “What is it?”

“I have no idea,” James said, before smirking slightly, “But if Sirius is talking a lot, it means he’s frightened, so it’s worrying.”

“Thanks mate,” Sirius deadpanned as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Hagrid was squinting up the dark path, but after a few seconds, the sound faded away.**

**"I knew it, " he murmured. "There's summat in here that shouldn' be."”**

“No shit Sherlock,” Lily said, rolling her eyes.

“Shut it Muggle,” Sirius said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Remus laughed.

**“"A werewolf?" Harry suggested.”**

“What is with him and the werewolves?” Remus asked, flabbergasted, as James and Sirius bit their cheeks to prevent their laughter from bursting out.

“He’s a child Remus. He doesn’t know any better,” Lily said, smiling fondly at the book, the worry still clear on her face

“Don’t be so loving. He’s wrong,” Remus said, and Lily quirked a brow at him as James and Sirius laughed.

“You’d be the worst father,” Lily joked, and Remus sighed dejectedly

“Yes I would,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Shut it, you’d be a great father, better than these buffoons any day,” she said, and both James and Sirius pouted as Remus grinned.

“Fine! Have a child with him then,” James sniffed, and Lily laughed, leaning on his shoulder.

“We’ll see,” she said, and James glared at Remus, who was laughing at him along with Sirius.

**“"That wasn' no werewolf an' it wasn' no unicorn, neither," said Hagrid grimly. "Right, follow me, but careful, now."”**

“They should’ve already been being careful,” Sirius said disapprovingly, and the other three laughed.

“Thanks Sirius,” Lily said in a faux loving tone, and Sirius winked at her.

“Don’t mention it Lilbit,” he said, blowing her a kiss, which James intercepted by ‘catching’ it, causing Remus and Lily to laugh as Sirius stuck his tongue out at James, “Always in the way,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded sadly as James stuck his tongue out at Sirius.

**“They walked more slowly, ears straining for the faintest sound.**

**Suddenly, in a clearing ahead, something definitely moved.”**

Lily grabbed James’ hand beneath the table and squeezed it tightly. James grinned and squeezed her hand back, rubbing soothing circles on the backside of the hand.

“WHAT IS HAPPENING?” Sirius yelled, hugging Remus around the waist, who was looking down at him with a disgusted expression, causing the couple to burst out laughing at the situation.

“Get off me!” Remus yelled, wiggling in order to throw Sirius off him.

“But Remus! I’m scared! Mother Moony look after me!” Sirius whined, burying himself under Remus armpit, causing Remus to squeal.

“SIRIUS!”

“Why are they so entertaining?” Lily giggled, and James shook his head, grinning.

**“"Who's there?" Hagrid called. "Show yerself -- I'm armed!"”**

“I’m armed too!” Sirius yelled, waving his arms about, and the others burst out laughing.

“Sirius,” Lily laughed, shaking her head fondly, “Shut up.”

“You have to admit, it was a tasteful joke,” James cut in, and Sirius beamed at him.

“Mate, I could kiss you,” Sirius said, batting his eyelids at James, who pretended to be charmed.

“Just leave Lily to it,” Remus chuckled, and Lily glared at Remus as Sirius and James sniggered, hi-fiving across the table.

**“And into the clearing came -- was it a man, or a horse?”**

“It’s just a centaur,” Sirius muttered bitterly, crossing his arms moodily.

“Anticlimactic much?” James said, and Sirius nodded vigorously.

“I love how he’s so confused as to what it is,” Lily giggled, and the boys chuckled

“I’d say more man, personally,” Remus said, and Lily made a noise of protestation.

“I’d say more horse,” she said, and Remus quirked a brow at her.

“Why?”

“Because the majority of a centaur is the horse bottom,” Lily said, and Sirius snickered.

“You stare at centaurs’ bums?” he gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as James and Remus laughed.

“Yes, it’s my guilty pleasure,” she deadpanned, and the boys sniggered.

“You’re funny. I like you,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted.

“I thought you loved her,” he said, and Sirius glared at him as Lily and James laughed.

“Quiet Moony! It’s a secret!” he whispered, and Remus rolled his eyes.

“I think secrecy’s gone to the dump in this situation,” Lily said, and Sirius smirked

“When’s it coming back?” he asked, and Lily groaned as James and Remus burst out laughing

**“To the waist, a man, with red hair and beard, but below that was a horse's gleaming chestnut body with a long, reddish tail. Harry and Hermione's jaws dropped.**

**"Oh, it's you, Ronan," said Hagrid in relief. "How are yeh?"”**

James burst out laughing, and they all turned to him, eyebrows raised.

“You alright there?” Remus asked, and James nodded, catching his breath

“Its funny how Hagrid is so cool about it,” James choked, “And the two first years have their jaws on the floor,” he wheezed, before bursting into another fit of laughter, only now the others were joining in with chuckles

“Okay, that’s funny,” Lily said, “But not _that_ funny,” she finished, as James continued to laugh.

“This is James,” Remus said, gesturing to the wheezing James, “Take it or leave it,” he said, and Sirius gasped.

“Don’t _offer_!” he squawked, “She’ll go! And then he’ll kill you!”

“No she wont,” Remus said, smiling wryly, and Lily glared at him as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“Why is Lil glaring?” James asked, surfacing from his fit.

“No reason,” the other three said in unison, Lily bitterly and the other two gleefully.

**“He walked forward and shook the centaur's hand.”**

“Height difference?” Sirius suggested, and Lily snorted.

“No, they’re about the same height,” she said, and the boys’ eyebrows rose

“And you know this because?” James asked, and Lily shrugged.

“I used to ride horses,” she said slowly, and the boys gasped, “So I know their approximate size, and those are shorter than Hagrid,” she finished.

“YOU CAN RIDE A HORSE?” Sirius asked delightfully, and Lily nodded curiously, “CAN YOU TEACH ME?”

“If you promise not to be a pain,” Lily beamed, and Sirius grinned widely

“Deal!” he declared, leaning forward and shaking her hand as she giggled.

**“"Good evening to you, Hagrid," said Ronan. He had a deep, sorrowful voice. "Were you going to shoot me?"”**

“Depends, how annoying are you?” James retorted, and the others burst out laughing

“They’re all annoying. It’s a centaur thing,” Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes.

“You can’t just make that generalization!” Lily said indignantly, “they’re still intelligent creatures.”

“They are annoying Lil,” Remus said, rubbing his temples, “they have some sort of obsession with Astronomy which basically dictates their lives,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“Well, Sirius has an addiction to perverse thoughts and that doesn’t make him…no never mind I understand,” Lily finished, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“It’s like Prongs’ obsession with you,” Sirius cut in, and James glared at him as the others laughed.

“That was so mean,” James huffed, and the others laughed

“Mate, if I’m going down, I’m taking you down with me,” Sirius said, beaming at James, who snorted moodily as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Don’t be so hard on him, he’s defending his honour,” Lily said, stroking James’ arm, “And besides, I thought you were annoying even before he pointed that out,” she said cheekily, and James shot her a mock angry look as the others burst out laughing.

“I’m getting new friends and dumping you,” James said, and the other three looked at each other before shrugging, “Oi!”

“You wouldn’t be able to find awesomer friends,” Sirius said.

“And you would never dump her,” Remus continued, nodding towards Lily.

“So your threat was useless,” Lily finished, beaming, and James pouted as the three grinned.

**“"Can't be too careful, Ronan," said Hagrid, patting his crossbow. "There's summat bad loose in this forest. This is Harry Potter an' Hermione Granger, by the way. Students up at the school. An' this is Ronan, you two. He's a centaur.”**

“No shit,” James snorted, and the others laughed.

“Think the centaurs know who Harry Potter is?” Remus asked curiously, and Lily nodded.

“I’m certain,” she said, “Because Voldemort effects not only the humans but the animals as well, remember?” she said, and Remus nodded.

“So obviously his vanquisher would be known,” James finished, nodding his head.

“I find it frightening that their minds are on the same track,” Remus said, and Sirius nodded.

“Can’t always be on the same track though,” he said, “They still bicker like husband and wife,” he said, and the couple flushed.

“That’s expected,” Remus smirked, winking at James, who chuckled.

**“"We'd noticed," said Hermione faintly.”**

The four of them chuckled and Lily smirked at Sirius, who sighed magnificently

“Fine, she can stay,” he said, and Lily snorted

“She’d be there with or without your approval,” she said, and Sirius shook his head severely.

“Not my minion, he’d listen to me,” he said, and James snorted.

“Your minion doesn’t know you exist,” James said bitterly, and Sirius huffed.

“He probably knows me,” he said, “I’d probably be famous by then or something,” he chuckled, flicking his hand in an ‘aww shucks’ manner.

“As if,” Remus snorted, and Lily and James laughed as Sirius pouted.

**“"Good evening," said Ronan. "Students, are you? And do you learn much, up at the school?"**

**"Erm --"**

**"A bit," said Hermione timidly.”**

“What else would you be doing at a school?” Lily asked, and Remus chuckled at her indignation.

“Snogging in broom closets?” he suggested, and Lily shot him a look.

“Don’t be a hypocrite Evans,” Sirius chuckled, and Lily flushed slightly as the others burst out laughing.

“And you’re fine with this now?” Remus asked, looking over at the laughing James, who shrugged.

“Its different now,” he smirked, and Lily flushed as the boys sniggered devilishly.

“Plus,” Remus said, changing the subject, “centaur’s think we learn things that are absolutely worthless, since they believe in the stars and everything,” he said, and Lily huffed.

“They’re worthless,” she muttered, and the boys laughed.

“I’m sure the centaurs don’t mean to personally wound you,” James said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the other two laughed.

“No disappointment in your minion?” Sirius asked, and Lily rolled her eyes, a smile on her face.

“I was busy being irritated with the centaur, had to get my priorities right,” Lily said, and Sirius nodded in understanding as the other two chuckled.

**“"A bit. Well, that's something." Ronan sighed. He flung back his head and stared at the sky. "Mars is bright tonight."”**

“What did I tell you?” Remus deadpanned, and the others laughed.

“Mars means something bad right?” James asked, and Lily shrugged

“I’m pretty sure,” she sighed, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Does parenting make you a freak to everything that may signify danger in your child’s life?” he asked Remus, who laughed

“Actually, I’m pretty sure it does,” he answered, before grinning, “haven’t you seen James?”

“Oi!” James protested, his cheeks tingeing pink as the others laughed.

**“"Yeah," said Hagrid, glancing up, too. "Listen, I'm glad we've run inter yeh, Ronan, 'cause there's a unicorn bin hurt -- you seen anythin'?"”**

“Why would you ever ask a centaur something like that?” Remus squawked, and the others chuckled, “You will not get a straight answer!”

“Why are you so twirly about centaurs?” Lily asked, and James smirked.

“Twirly, Lil?” he chuckled, and she shot him a nasty look as Sirius and Remus sniggered

“Yes James, Twirly,” she said sternly, and James laughed, placing a soft kiss on her temple.

“Because I find them irritating,” Remus muttered, and Sirius snickered.

“Yeah, because Remus needs facts to believe something,” he said, and Remus glared at him.

“There’s nothing wrong with that!”

“There’s not,” Lily agreed, nodding her head, “It just makes you a tad boring and swot-like,” she said breezily, and Remus shot her a hard look as James and Sirius roared with laughter

“I’ve been waiting for someone to say that for _years_!” Sirius exclaimed gleefully, ducking Remus’ oncoming slap.

**“Ronan didn't answer immediately. He stared unblinkingly upward, then sighed again.**

**‘‘Always the innocent are the first victims," he said. "So it has been for ages past, so it is now."”**

“Can you bloody give an answer?” Remus huffed, and the others burst out laughing

“Note to self, find a centaur and leave him in a room with Remus,” Lily said, and the other two boys burst out laughing as Remus’ mouth twitched.

“I would pay so much money to see that!” Sirius wheezed, “Or, you know, James would pay for me.”

“Thanks,” James deadpanned as the other three snickered.

“No James, thank you,” Sirius said graciously, and James shook his head as Lily and Remus giggled.

**“"Yeah," said Hagrid, "but have yeh seen anythin', Ronan? Anythin' unusual?"**

**"Mars is bright tonight," Ronan repeated, while Hagrid watched him impatiently. "Unusually bright."**

**"Yeah, but I was meanin' anythin' unusual a bit nearer home,’’ said Hagrid. "So yeh haven't noticed anythin' strange?’’**

**Yet again, Ronan took a while to answer. At last, he said, "The forest hides many secrets."”**

By the end of the section, the four were in splits.

“I’m sorry, I know centaurs are annoying and all, but I _love_ this centaur!” Sirius wheezed, laughing like a loon.

“I’ve never seen Hagrid get honestly frustrated before,” James chuckled, and the others laughed.

“I don’t blame him. I’d be irritated too,” Lily said, and then beamed, “And we all know Remus would go mad.”

“Can we not pick on me please?” Remus moaned as the other three sniggered.

“It’s only fair. You pick on us a lot,” Sirius said, and Remus huffed

“There’s no winning with you guys,” he mumbled bitterly, and the other three beamed.

**“A movement in the trees behind Ronan made Hagrid raise his bow again, but it was only a second centaur, black-haired and -bodied and wilder-looking than Ronan.”**

“Rugged,” Sirius commented, turning to grin at Lily, “Don’t you think so love?”

“He’s a centaur,” Lily deadpanned, and Remus and James smirked as Sirius rolled his eyes exasperatedly

“That’s besides the point,” he said, waving his hand, and Lily rolled her eyes

“That _is_ the point,” she said, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“You’re so judgmental,” he commented, and Lily threw James an exasperated look as James and Remus snickered.

“So you’re saying I should think the centaur is rugged?” she asked, and Sirius nodded, smirking.

“He’s a right sight more rugged than that one,” he answered, cocking his head in James’ direction.

“Fuck you,” James muttered, and the others burst out laughing as Sirius winked at James.

“Well I don’t know about that Sirius,” Lily said, grinning, “This one has some muscle work going,” she said, and James beamed at Sirius.

“He does not,” Sirius snorted, and Lily sighed.

“See look,” she said, grabbing the hem of James’ shirt and lifting it, causing James to squawk (“Oi!”) and the other two to snicker, “See that? That’s some muscle stuff,” she said, and James beamed proudly at Sirius over the hem of his shirt.

“See, I’m rugged,” he said, and Lily chuckled, dropping his shirt.

“Honey, you may be a lot of things, but you are most definitely not rugged,” she said, and James glared at her as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“I am too!”

“I think the glasses are counterproductive in that plan,” Remus said, and James glared at him as the other two laughed.

**“"Hullo, Bane," said Hagrid. "All right?"”**

“Hullo Hagrid,” Sirius replied, and the others rolled their eyes

“Are you Bane?” Lily asked, and the other boys sniggered.

“I’m so rugged I might as well be,” Sirius said dramatically, and Lily snorted, “Plus, I can pass off as a horse, since one of my appendages down there are the approximate size of a horses,” he added, smiling in a naughty manner similar to a child who knew he had been caught stealing out of a cookie jar and was extremely happy about it.

“I can’t look at you,” Lily said, turning away, and the three boys sniggered.

“Don’t worry Lil, we can ditch Prongs later,” Sirius said, and she snorted.

“In your dreams Sirius.”

“Alas, life is just so unfair,” he said sadly, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus grinned at the exchange.

**“"Good evening, Hagrid, I hope you are well."**

“I don’t know about that,” James said grimly, “Mars is bright tonight.”

“Oh don’t go all centaur on us,” Sirius said bitterly, and James grinned cheekily at him.

“It’s because she likes me better than you,” James teased, and Sirius glared at him as James continued to grin.

“Actually, I don’t know what you’re smiling about,” Lily said, “Remus is still my favorite.”

“What?” Both Sirius and James yelled, before turning on the smirking Remus.

“Why him?” James asked

“Why not _me_? I’m clearly the best,” Sirius said, and James snorted.

“With your stupid swishy curtain hair,” he muttered, and Sirius glared at him.

“At least I don’t have the eyesight of a grandfather!”

“That’s _not_ my fault!” James protested.

“Way to start World War Three Lil,” Remus said amusedly, turning the page of the book.

“How do I fix it?” she asked, as the two boys continued to battle it out.

“Easy,” Remus snorted, “Snog James and then tell Sirius you love him.”

“No thanks,” Lily huffed, and the other two boys pouted as Remus snickered.

**“"Well enough. Look, I've jus' bin askin' Ronan, you seen anythin' odd in here lately? There's a unicorn bin injured - would yeh know anythin' about it?"**

**Bane walked over to stand next to Ronan. He looked skyward. "Mars is bright tonight," he said simply.”**

Remus lowered his head and banged it on the table as the others laughed.

“These centaurs are pretty amusing, don’t you think?” Sirius chuckled. At this, Remus slowly lowered the book and glared at Sirius, who cowered under his friends’ uncharacteristically harsh glare.

“What?” he squawked.

“You said you were the closest thing to a centaur,” he said, and Sirius paled as James snickered into his palm and Lily hid her laughs in his shoulder.

“I’m not! Really! It’s Lil. She has the hugest arse!”

“EXCUSE ME?” Lily shrieked, as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“Fine by me, your death will hurt more coming from her anyway,” Remus shrugged, and Sirius warily turned to face the fuming redhead.

“My arse is _not_ huge,” Lily said, and Sirius smirked at her.

“Lily love, your arse is scrumptious.”

“Don’t be a kiss arse,” she said irritably, and Sirius smirked.

“I would love to kiss your arse.”

“Can you throw him out?” Lily asked James exasperatedly, as James and Remus continued to laugh.

“He’s right though, your arse is scrumptious,” James said, kissing Lily on the top of the head, and Lily glared at him.

“You are not helping,” she muttered, nudging harshly in the side.

“Sirius was just making a joke Lily,” Remus chuckled, “But I would love to see you murder him.”

“Is my arse really big?” she asked, insecurely placing her hands under her bottom, and the three boys rolled their eyes.

“Lily, you are bloody sexy and your arse is not huge, anything else?” Sirius asked, as Lily flushed deep red, “We can discuss your boobs now if you want?” he suggested cheekily, and Lily glared at him as James and Remus coughed to disguise their laughter.

“I already know how big my boobs are,” she huffed, “I don’t need you lot to tell me that.”

“I’ve seen bigger,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Those poor girls,” she sighed, and the boys laughed at her pitying expression

“Excuse me, but if I were a girl I’d love to have massive boobs,” Sirius contested, a scandalized expression on his face.

“No you wouldn’t,” she snorted, “They get in the way,” she said awkwardly, and the boys burst out laughing.

“However do they do that?” James laughed, and she glared at him.

“They, you know, move,” she said awkwardly, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Like, of their own accord?” Remus teased, and she hid her rapidly reddening face as the boys sniggered.

“No,” she said, “Like, when you walk or run…oh this is useless,” she mumbled as the boys burst out laughing.

“But that’s the _magic_ of boobs!” Sirius said happily, “They jiggle.”

“You are a pig,” Lily said, as the boys snorted like choking hippogriffs, “You know, enough about boobs and arses. Can we read the story?” she whined, and Sirius pouted.

“But I like talking about boobs and arses!”

“Talk about it when I’m not around,” Lily said with a ringing tone of finality, and the boys smirked at her red face.

“Sure thing Lil, I’ll be talking about your boobs and arse when you’re not around, thanks for your permission,” Sirius winked, and Lily turned to James with a pleading expression, at which he grinned and leaned down to kiss her on the nose.

**““We've heard," said Hagrid grumpily. "Well, if either of you do see anythin', let me know, won't yeh. We'll be off, then."”**

The four teens snickered, “I love it when Hagrid goes all sarcastic,” Sirius smirked amusedly, and the others snickered in agreement.

“I think the only thing that makes sense about this is that Hagrid walked away,” Remus said, and Lily beamed at him.

“Actually, I think the best thing that happened in that conversation was watching you get so agitated,” she said simply, and Remus threw her a mock glare as Sirius and James laughed.

“I second that!” James said

“I third it!” Sirius announced, and Remus rolled his eyes

“You cant _third_ something,” Remus snorted, and Sirius smirked.

“I just did.”

“Judge!” Remus yelled, turning to Lily, who blinked.

“You either say sustained or overruled,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Sustained,” she said, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as Remus grinned.

“She doesn’t know what it means!” Sirius protested, and Lily smirked.

“Oh I do. I would say overruled, however it’s you on the other side,” Lily said sweetly, and the others laughed.

“That’s not allowed!” Sirius yelled, and Lily smirked.

“Overruled.”

“I hate this,” Sirius said, as Remus and James choked with laughter, “At least this way we have a full court! Judge, two lawyers, a defense and a prosecution,” Sirius said cheerfully, and Lily snorted as the boys grinned.

“I’m not joining your court,” she said sternly

“You’re a Marauder now, you have no choice,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly

“I am not a Marauder.”

“She’s already learning what to say in case of arrest!” Sirius said gleefully, and Lily shook her head fondly as the three boys sniggered.

**“Harry and Hermione followed him out of the clearing, staring over their shoulders at Ronan and Bane until the trees blocked their view.”**

“Ickle Firsties and their fascination,” Sirius said, and then beamed at Lily, who was shaking her head disapprovingly.

“You would’ve been fascinated too,” she said, “Actually, I bet you’d still be fascinated.”

“Shut up you,” Sirius said moodily, and James and Remus sniggered as Lily beamed at Sirius.

“She’s thinking overruled,” Remus said, before bursting out into laughter with James and Lily as Sirius crossed his arms more tightly.

**“"Never," said Hagrid irritably, "try an' get a straight answer out of a centaur. Ruddy stargazers. Not interested in anythin' closer'n the moon."**

“I’ve never heard truer words my friend,” Remus said, as the other three continued laughing.

“Can you imagine how peaceful life would be if you just watched stars?” Sirius sighed, and the other three exchanged looks.

“He must’ve been dropped on his head as a child,” Lily mused, causing Remus and James to laugh as Sirius rolled his eyes, smirking.

“The idea of being in contact with my mothers vagina has since scarred me,” Sirius said, and both Remus and James froze, expressions of disgust on their faces, as Lily raised her brows.

“SIRIUS!”

“PADFOOT!”

“Look what you’ve done,” Lily said, shaking her head in a faux disapproving manner as James and Remus continued to squirm in distaste.

“Ah Lil, that was the point,” Sirius smirked, and Lily giggled.

**“"Are there many of them in here?" asked Hermione.”**

“Unfortunately,” Remus coughed, causing the others to smirk.

**“"Oh, a fair few... Keep themselves to themselves mostly, but they're good enough about turnin' up if ever I want a word. They're deep, mind, centaurs... they know things... jus' don' let on much."**

**"D'you think that was a centaur we heard earlier?" said Harry.”**

“Doubtful. No hoof sounds,” Sirius said, and the others nodded in agreement.

“Wonder what it was,” Lily said curiously, and Sirius smirked.

“We’ve established this Evans! It was Snape!” he gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two sniggered.

“Oh yes, how frightening,” she said sarcastically, and the boys smirked.

“How sad. Snivellus doesn’t even have a girl scared of him,” Sirius said sadly, and both James and Remus snickered.

“Honey, I’m not scared of you either,” she said, “What does that make _you_?”

“Well of course you’re not horror scared of me,” Sirius said, shaking his head exasperatedly, “You fear me because I hold your heart in my hands,” he finished proudly

“Naturally,” Remus muttered, and Sirius turned to him, offended by his sarcastic tone, as Lily and James laughed. 

**“"Did that sound like hooves to you?”**

Sirius gasped loudly, pointing at the book

“I’m _wise_!” he squeaked excitedly, and the others laughed.

“Of course you are Padfoot,” James said, his tone condescending, accentuated by the smirk on his face.

“Well, fuck you Prongs,” Sirius said, and James pouted as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Nah, if yeh ask me, that was what's bin killin' the unicorns - never heard anythin' like it before."”**

“Is it worrisome if _Hagrid_ hasn’t heard anything like it before?” Lily asked, and the boys nodded slowly

“That means it’s either new, or dangerous,” James said.

“Or both,” Remus added, and James nodded.

“I hope the thing doesn’t hurt Harry,” Lily said, and James snorted.

“He’s Harry Potter. Something’s bound to happen,” he said irritably, and Lily bit her lip worriedly.

“Honestly, I think the parent stress is coming too early,” Sirius said, and the couple shot him looks of irritation as Remus smirked.

**“They walked on through the dense, dark trees. Harry kept looking nervously over his shoulder.”**

“Because that’s not suspicious at all,” Sirius snorted, and the others chuckled weakly.

**“He had the nasty feeling they were being watched.”**

Lily shuddered violently, and the boys turned to her in alarm.

“Lil?” James asked, and she shook her head, rubbing her arms.

“Just got the chills there,” she giggled nervously, her eyes a tad too wide with a panicked look in them. James’ features softened and he gently hugged her to his side, feeling her relax as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“He’ll be fine,” he murmured in her hair, and she nodded her head, eyes closed as she took a deep breath, thankful that Sirius and Remus had tactfully started a conversation in order to give the couple some privacy.

**“He was very glad they had Hagrid and his crossbow with them.”**

Sirius barked a laugh, and the others grinned.

“You have a wand mate, that’s much more powerful,” he said, and Remus rolled his eyes

“But he doesn’t know how to use it!”

“Well if he’s in danger and points it I’m sure something will happen,” Sirius said, and Lily smiled.

“Shockingly, Sirius has a point,” she said, “It’s a theory in wandlore that when the master is in trouble, the wand will perform extraordinary magic in order to protect the master in these kinds of situations,” she said, and James snorted.

“What are you doing reading wandlore?”

“I was curious,” she shrugged, and the boys shook their heads fondly. 

**“They had just passed a bend in the path when Hermione grabbed Hagrid's arm.**

**"Hagrid! Look! Red sparks, the others are in trouble!"”**

Lily let out an involuntary squeak and James, smiling to himself, rubbed his hand soothingly on her upper arm.

“I hope they’re okay,” Remus said, his face slightly pale, “Who knows what can happen in the Forbidden Forest?”

“OH NO!” Sirius yelled, an expression of panic on his face.

“I knew he’d care,” Lily muttered, and James smirked.

“Wait for it,” he whispered, and she frowned up at him.

“FANG!” Sirius wailed, and Lily slapped her face with her hand as James grinned down at her and Remus looked at Sirius as if he’d lost his mind.

**“"You two wait here!" Hagrid shouted. "Stay on the path, I'll come back for yeh!"”**

“Don’t leave them!” Lily squeaked, alarmed, “You don’t leave little first years by themselves in the Forbidden Forest when other first years have been attacked!”

“The paranoid mother has a point,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded.

“Don’t ever call me that,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“I would’ve been so worried had you not said something like that,” Remus chuckled, and Lily smiled at him.

“Don’t worry Remus, I’ll always be around to yell at Sirius.”

“Amen!” Remus said, and Lily and James laughed as Sirius huffed.

“I don’t like Remus today,” he said, and Remus shrugged.

“Not my problem.”

“Moony!” Sirius whined, and Remus smirked.

**“They heard him crashing away through the undergrowth and stood looking at each other, very scared, until they couldn't hear anything but the rustling of leaves around them.**

**"You don't think they've been hurt, do you?" whispered Hermione.**

**"I don't care if Malfoy has, but if something's got Neville... it's our fault he's here in the first place."”**

“Harry,” Lily chastised, and James quirked a brow at her.

“You want him to worry about Malfoy?”

“He’s still a person!” Lily said, “Plus, we don’t know enough about him yet,” she said, and Sirius snorted

“Love, you think everyone’s good on the inside.”

“Everyone is,” she said, and the boys smirked, “Oi! Don’t smirk,” she chastised, and the boys grinned at her, “It all depends on what path they choose. I mean, Severus had some good in him, but he chose the bad. There’s still some good in him, but it’s too deep to drag it out,” she said, sighing, “But I refuse to judge Malfoy until I’m certain of what path he’s on.”

“Goodness Lil, that was deep,” Sirius said, placing a hand on his heart, and Lily giggled as James and Remus snorted.

“I try.”

“Oh look what’s back,” Remus smirked, and they all laughed.

**“The minutes dragged by. Their ears seemed sharper than usual. Harry's seemed to be picking up every sigh of the wind, every cracking twig.**

**What was going on? Where were the others?**

**At last, a great crunching noise announced Hagrid's return.”**

Lily grabbed James’ hand in her own and he squeezed it back, ecstatic by how much trust she had in him, enough to be completely herself around him _and_ his friends.

“Wonder what happened,” Sirius said curiously.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Fang’s okay,” Lily said irritably, and both James and Remus laughed as Sirius smirked at Lily

“I knew that would irritated you,” he said gleefully, blowing her a kiss.

**“Malfoy, Neville, and Fang were with him. Hagrid was fuming.”**

“Wait, so they’re fine?” Remus asked, confused.

“Hagrid’s fuming, so they probably got yelled at, which is just bloody frightening,” James reasoned, and the others chuckled.

“Well other than that, they’re fine?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged.

**“Malfoy, it seemed, had sneaked up behind Neville and grabbed him as a joke. Neville had panicked and sent up the sparks.”**

“Still think there’s good inside him?” Remus asked, and Lily smirked.

“Sirius seems to think so,” she said, and they turned to see Sirius sniggering madly to his lap.

“Did you just laugh _with_ a Malfoy?” James gasped, and Sirius pouted.

“Guilty.”

“Judge!” Remus yelled, and Lily giggled.

“What do I say now?” she asked James, who grinned as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“You sentence him,” he said, and Lily huffed

“To _what_?”

“That’s your decision,” James beamed, and she glared at him.

“Want a hint?” Remus asked, leaning forwards, and Lily nodded.

“NO!” Sirius yelled, and Lily beamed,

“Now I really want to know,” she grinned, and both James and Remus smirked at Sirius.

“Just say; the usual,” James whispered to her, and she quirked a brow at him. After his confirming nod, she shrugged.

“I sentence you to the usual,” she said, and both Remus and James cheered as Sirius swore.

“What am I missing?” she asked James, who smirked.

“You’ll see love.”

**“"We'll be lucky ter catch anythin' now, with the racket you two were makin'. Right, we're changin' groups - Neville, you stay with me an' Hermione, Harry, you go with Fang an' this idiot. I'm sorry," Hagrid added in a whisper to Harry, "but he'll have a harder time frightenin' you, an' we've gotta get this done."”**

“I don’t like this,” Lily said quietly.

“Because there’s no good in him?” Sirius suggested hopefully, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus smirked.

“ _No_ , because he’s a coward. So if anything happens-”

“Which it probably will,” James cut in, and Lily glared at him for interrupting her, before turning away to continue, much to Remus and Sirius’ amusement.

“He’ll run, as will Fang, and leave Harry by his lonesome,” Lily said, and the boys grimaced.

“Well Hagrid has a point,” Remus said, “Malfoy’d have a harder time scaring Harry.”

“Obviously,” James said self-importantly, and both Sirius and Remus rolled their eyes at their proud friend.

**“So Harry set off into the heart of the forest with Malfoy and Fang. They walked for nearly half an hour, deeper and deeper into the forest, until the path became almost impossible to follow because the trees were so thick. Harry thought the blood seemed to be getting thicker. There were splashes on the roots of a tree, as though the poor creature had been thrashing around in pain close by. Harry could see a clearing ahead, through the tangled branches of an ancient oak.”**

“So much pointless blabber,” Remus muttered, turning the page, and the others laughed.

“Tis’ not pointless blabber! He’s setting the scene,” Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Sorry, how could I be so foolish,” Remus deadpanned, and the other three laughed.

“I feel so bad for the unicorn,” Lily said sadly, and James grimaced, “They’re so pretty!”

“That is the most feminine thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Sirius said, and the other two boys laughed as Lily pretended to be offended.

**“"Look -" he murmured, holding out his arm to stop Malfoy.**

**Something bright white was gleaming on the ground.”**

“It’s the unicorn,” Lily said breathlessly.

“Its…dead?” Remus said, eyebrows high.

“Sounds like it,” James murmured.

“Go see,” Sirius urged, and Lily made a squeak of protestation

“ _No_! Send up sparks for Hagrid!” she said, “It’s not safe!”

“She’s right,” Remus sighed.

**“They inched closer.”**

Lily shot Sirius a nasty glare, to which he responded by blowing the redhead a kiss, causing the other two boys to snicker as Lily’s glare intensified.

**“It was the unicorn all right, and it was dead.”**

The four of them groaned in unison.

“Don’t touch it,” Remus warned automatically, and Lily paled.

“Why?” James frowned, and Lily whimpered.

“He’ll have a cursed life,” she squeaked, and Sirius frowned.

“I thought that was just with drinking it’s blood,” he said, and James nodded in agreement.

“No,” Lily said.

“If a unicorn is recently dead a human approaches it and touches its horn then there’s a curse that’s put on them as it’s assumed they’ve killed it for the goods,” Remus recited, and both Sirius and James groaned.

“Don’t touch the horn!”

**“Harry had never seen anything so beautiful and sad. Its long, slender legs were stuck out at odd angles where it had fallen and its mane was spread pearly-white on the dark leaves.”**

“That’s so poetic,” Sirius said, and Lily smiled as James and Remus shook their heads, fighting smiles.

“Is that a reflex?” Lily asked Sirius, and the others chuckled.

“Seems like it doesn’t it?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded.

“It’s tragically beautiful,” Sirius said, “Very poetic material.”

“Sounds Shakespearean,” Lily snorted, and the boys quirked their brows at her, “Er, Muggle thing.”

“Merlin Lily, speak wizard!” Sirius said pompously, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as James and Remus laughed.

**“Harry had taken one step toward it when a slithering sound made him freeze where he stood.”**

Lily groaned and buried herself closer to James, who wrapped his right arm more tightly around her, holding her to him in his panic

“Don’t get hurt, don’t get hurt, don’t get hurt,” Lily chanted under her voice, and James threaded his fingers through hers to placate her.

“He’ll be fine, you know, as long as Snape’s hair grease doesn’t infect him,” Sirius said, and the others burst out laughing.

**“A bush on the edge of the clearing quivered…then, out of the shadows, a hooded figure came crawling across the ground like some stalking beast.”**

All their jaws dropped open.

“ _Crawling_?” Lily asked, frowning, “What the bloody hell does that?”

“Sounds like a Dementor,” Sirius mused, and James snapped his fingers.

“ _That’s_ what I was thinking, thank you,” James said, and Sirius smirked at him.

“Always a pleasure Mr. Potter.”

“But it can’t be a Dementor,” Lily said, “They can’t enter Hogwarts grounds.”

“Well, we never said it was, we said it resembled one,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded, allowing that.

“I’m slightly scared,” she admitted vulnerably, and Sirius smiled sweetly at her.

“As are we love.”

**“Harry, Malfoy, and Fang stood transfixed. The cloaked figure reached the unicorn, lowered its head over the wound in the animal's side, and began to drink its blood.”**

“But the blood’s cursed!” Lily squeaked.

“Love, I don’t think the creature cares,” Sirius said, frowning.

“What creature wants to, or needs to, drink unicorn blood?” James asked, “Is there an animal that…I don’t know…needs it?”

“Not that I know of,” Lily said, shaking her head.

“Well, we know its not a Dementor,” Sirius said, and the others snorted.

“But I still don’t get why it’s drinking the blood,” Lily said.

“There’s really only one use for it,” Remus murmured, and Lily’s eyes widened.

“So it has to be some sort of intellectual being, a human,” Lily said, nodding her head, “Of course, many humans want the elixir of life.”

“That seems to make the most sense,” James agreed, nodding.

“Why don’t we continue?” Sirius suggested, and the others nodded.

“Maybe we’ll get some answers,” Remus said, turning the page.

**"AAAAAAAAAARGH!" Malfoy let out a terrible scream and bolted - so did Fang.**

“Dogs don’t scream,” Sirius said automatically, and the others laughed weakly

“This is _so_ not the time Sirius,” Lily said, and Sirius grimaced.

“Just trying to lighten to mood!”

“What kind of idiot screams his head off?” James asked angrily, and the others snorted.

“Malfoy, obviously,” Sirius said, and James huffed.

“And then he just leaves Harry there!”

“I know,” Lily said soothingly, leaning her head on James’ shoulder.

**“The hooded figure raised its head and looked right at Harry - unicorn blood was dribbling down its front. It got to its feet and came swiftly toward Harry -- he couldn't move for fear.”**

By this time, Lily was shaking, James and Sirius were pale, and Remus’ mouth was dry, causing his reading to sound scratchy.

“RUN you idiot!” Lily screeched, and the boys jumped, but all the same, nodded and yelled their agreement.

**“Then a pain like he'd never felt before pierced his head; it was as though his scar were on fire.”**

“What the hell?” James said, frowning.

“That happened before!” Lily gasped, and the boys turned to her, “At the …oh what was it…the…the feast! When he looked at Snape! Remember? He had a pain in his scar!” she said, and the boys nodded in realization

“He did!” Sirius yelled, nodding his head vigorously

“But why is it hurting?” Remus asked, and the others shook their heads, confused.

“This may sound stupid,” Sirius said, “But could it, I don’t know, sense danger?” he suggested meekly, “I know it sounds mental, but-”

“No I see why you’d think that,” Lily said, cutting off Sirius’ rant, “But I still have no idea. Because if it sensed danger he wouldn’t have gone into the clearing, right?”

“Touché,” Sirius muttered grumpily.

**“Half blinded, he staggered backward.”**

“Please don’t die, please don’t die, please don’t die,” Lily chanted under her breath, feeling James’ arms tighten around her, closing her eyes as Remus continued reading.

**“He heard hooves behind him, galloping, and something jumped clean over Harry, charging at the figure.**

**The pain in Harry's head was so bad he fell to his knees. It took a minute or two to pass. When he looked up, the figure had gone. A centaur was standing over him, not Ronan or Bane; this one looked younger; he had white-blond hair and a palomino body.”**

The four of them released the breath they’d been holding simultaneously, expressions of relief passing over their features.

“He’s okay, he’s okay,” Lily sighed, shaking her head into her lap, as she leaned away from James and rested her elbows on the table, massaging her temples.

“I love this centaur,” Remus said, and the others burst out laughing.

“You? Remus John Lupin? Love a Centaur? It’s the Apocalypse!” Sirius joked, and the others continued to laugh, the sudden relief causing them all to feel light-headed.

“What did it do? Chase it away?” Lily asked, and James shrugged

“Most probably”

“What was that pain though? I don’t get it,” Remus said, and Lily shrugged

“I don’t think any of us do,” she said bitterly, and the boys smirked at her irritation.

“The idiot,” James muttered, “You _never_ fall down in these situations”

“He had some conflicting circumstances,” Sirius said, and James snorted.

“Still, it could have been the death of him.”

“Well, he’s okay, and that’s all that matters,” Lily said diplomatically, and the boys nodded.

**"Are you all right?" said the centaur, pulling Harry to his feet.**

**"Yes -- thank you -- what was that?"**

“Good question,” James said, and the others chuckled

“Oh and he said thank you. Bless his polite soul,” Sirius sniffed, winking at Lily, who giggled and shook her head fondly.

**“The centaur didn't answer. He had astonishingly blue eyes, like pale sapphires.”**

“Merlin,” Sirius said, “I’m falling in love,” he said dramatically, pretending to swoon, causing the others to laugh

“I’m not, I’ve never been a fan of pale eyes,” Lily said, and James nodded

“I agree.”

“Lily’s eyes are green,” Sirius said, and James shrugged

“But they’re not pale. They’re bright.”

“Yeah Sirius,” Lily preened, and Sirius shook his head fondly as the others laughed.

**“He looked carefully at Harry, his eyes lingering on the scar that stood out, livid, on Harry's forehead.**

**"You are the Potter boy," he said. "You had better get back to Hagrid. The forest is not safe at this time - especially for you. Can you ride? It will be quicker this way.””**

“isn’t that against centaur rule or code or something?” Sirius asked, and James nodded.

“They think it’s degrading, allowing humans to ride them, as if it’s allowing humans control over them.”

“How’d he know Harry was with Hagrid?” Remus snorted, and Lily laughed

“Who else would he be with?” she teased, and Remus smirked as James and Sirius chuckled.

“Touché”

“What does he mean, ‘especially for you’?” Lily frowned, and Remus shrugged.

“Well considering what just happened, I’d assume the thing was out for Harry,” he reasoned, and Lily huffed.

“But _why_? What is it?”

“I don’t have an answer to that one,” Remus said sadly, turning to page, “Maybe the centaur does though.”

**“"My name is Firenze," he added, as he lowered himself on to his front legs so that Harry could clamber onto his back. There was suddenly a sound of more galloping from the other side of the clearing. Ronan and Bane came bursting through the trees, their flanks heaving and sweaty.”**

The four of them winced at the idea, “This cant be good,” Sirius sighed, stretching his arms above his head to release the stress knots in his neck.

“Good luck Firenze,” Remus said, saluting solemnly

“Harry needs to learn to gracefully get on a horse, instead of ‘clambering’,” James said out of the blue, and the others looked at him for a second before bursting into laughter.

“James, is _that_ what you’re focusing on?” Sirius teased, and James flushed as the others continued to laugh.

“He’s my son! This is important to me!”

“Okay James, whatever helps you sleep at night,” Sirius teased, and James flushed deeper.

**“"Firenze!" Bane thundered. "What are you doing? You have a human on your back! Have you no shame? Are you a common mule?"”**

“There’s a human on his back?” James gasped dramatically, placing his hand over his heart in faux shock.

“Oh my _Merlin_! That’s news to us!” Sirius played along, and both Lily and Remus laughed as the ‘brothers’ leaned across the table to touch knuckles.

**“"Do you realize who this is?" said Firenze. "This is the Potter boy. The quicker he leaves this forest, the better."**

**"What have you been telling him?" growled Bane. "Remember, Firenze, we are sworn not to set ourselves against the heavens. Have we not read what is to come in the movements of the planets?"”**

“Yeah Firenze,” Sirius snorted disapprovingly, shaking his head, “Mars is bright tonight!”

“Merlin Sirius, shut up!” Lily laughed, and Sirius beamed as she continued to shake with giggles.

**“Ronan pawed the ground nervously. "I'm sure Firenze thought he was acting for the best, " he said in his gloomy voice. Bane kicked his back legs in anger.**

**"For the best! What is that to do with us? Centaurs are concerned with what has been foretold! It is not our business to run around like donkeys after stray humans in our forest!" Firenze suddenly reared on to his hind legs in anger, so that Harry had to grab his shoulders to stay on.”**

“Oi! Watch it!” James exclaimed, eyes narrowing slightly.

“At least one centaur has sense,” Lily reasoned, and Sirius frowned.

“You mean two,” he said, and Lily smiled, shaking her head.

“Firenze just forgot my son was on his back and almost caused him to fall off,” she said, and the boys laughed, “But overall, yes, I’d say two.”

“Women are so complicated,” Sirius sighed dramatically, and Lily laughed

“You know it.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is with sharing your information anyway,” Sirius said, and James shrugged.

“It seems like slavery to them.”

“Honestly James, I didn’t know you could read,” Lily said, and James quirked a brow at her as she grinned cheekily up at him and Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

**“"Do you not see that unicorn?" Firenze bellowed at Bane. "Do you not understand why it was killed? Or have the planets not let you in on that secret? I set myself against what is lurking in this forest, Bane, yes, with humans alongside me if I must." And Firenze whisked around; with Harry clutching on as best he could, they plunged off into the trees, leaving Ronan and Bane behind them.”**

“BOOM!” Sirius exclaimed, as the others roared with laughter.

“I wish he’d elaborated,” Lily sighed longingly, and James shrugged.

“We’ll find out soon enough,” he said, ruffling her hair playfully.

“Well, that’s the only centaur I’ve heard of with his head on his shoulders!” Remus chuckled, and Sirius’ jaw dropped.

“What kind of bloody headless centaurs have you heard of?” he squawked, and Remus threw him a deadpan look as Lily and James snickered.

“But he still mentioned planets!” James gasped, and Remus sighed dramatically

“He’ll have to be excused this once.”

**“Harry didn't have a clue what was going on.”**

“Join the club,” Lily grumbled, and the boys laughed at her frustration

“Is someone frustrated being in the dark?” James teased, and Lily glared at him as Remus and Sirius snickered.

“Don’t push it Potter.”

“You should be careful, it’s back to Potter now,” Sirius stage-whispered to James, who smirked as Remus chuckled and Lily flushed.

**“"Why's Bane so angry?" he asked. "What was that thing you saved me from, anyway?"”**

“Okay, assessment time,” Sirius said, and Remus sighed, massaging his temples, causing Lily to giggle.

“Question one was a Boo,” James said in a professional voice, and Lily giggled, but somehow James and Sirius managed straight faces.

“Question two, on the other hand, was a Woot,” Sirius said, and James nodded.

“I concur.”

“Honestly,” Lily laughed, shaking her head amusedly.

**“Firenze slowed to a walk, warned Harry to keep his head bowed in case of low-hanging branches, but did not answer Harry's question.”**

“Bloody rude of him, don’t you think?” Sirius said, and James chuckled, nodding in order to satisfy his amusing best mate.

**“They made their way through the trees in silence for so long that Harry thought Firenze didn't want to talk to him anymore. They were passing through a particularly dense patch of trees, however, when Firenze suddenly stopped.**

**"Harry Potter, do you know what unicorn blood is used for?"”**

“Bloody hell, it’s lesson time,” Sirius grumbled, placing his head on the table, “We know this already!”

“The book apologizes,” Remus said sarcastically, and both Lily and James laughed as Sirius glared at Remus.

**“"No," said Harry, startled by the odd question. "We've only used the horn and tail hair in Potions."”**

“Oh amateurs,” James sighed, and Lily rolled her eyes as the three boys laughed

“You’re all insane,” she said, “I can’t wait till this book is over.”

“So if there’s another one you wont sit with us?” Sirius gasped, and Lily sighed

“ _If_ there’s another one, we’ll see,” she said, and the boys pouted

“I thought you loved us!” Sirius whined, and Lily laughed, causing the boys to smile at her carefree manner.

**“"That is because it is a monstrous thing, to slay a unicorn," said Firenze. "Only one who has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, would commit such a crime. The blood of a unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price. You have slain something pure and defenseless to save yourself, and you will have but a half-life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips." Harry stared at the back of Firenze's head, which was dappled silver in the moonlight.”**

“I think he needs a girlfriend,” Sirius said, and Lily spluttered as James and Remus blinked at Sirius.

“Merlin! Sirius! He’s a baby!”

“He’s admiring a centaur! It’s a necessity!” Sirius retorted, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James laughed.

“James I hate him,” Lily said, and James smiled at her.

“He can live with Remus,” he assured her, and both Remus and Sirius gasped

“NOOOOO!” Remus yelled dramatically, and Sirius’ jaw fell as Lily and James choked with laughter

**“"But who'd be that desperate?" he wondered aloud. "If you're going to be cursed forever, deaths better, isn't it?"”**

“Nice to know he wont ever slay a unicorn,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Yes, comforting. Because I was so worried he would,” she drawled, and James stuck his tongue out at her as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“"It is," Firenze agreed, "unless all you need is to stay alive long enough to drink something else - something that will bring you back to full strength and power - something that will mean you can never die. Mr. Potter, do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment?"”**

“Merlin,” Lily gasped, as silence overtook the four once more, “It all fits together, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, that’s all great, but we still don’t know who and what it is!” Remus said, turning the page, causing the other three to snap out of their stupor.

**“"The Sorcerer's Stone! Of course - the Elixir of Life! But I don't understand who -"**

**"Can you think of nobody who has waited many years to return to power, who has clung to life, awaiting their chance?"”**

A knot of dread sunk to the bottom of James’ stomach, and he looked at Lily, whose eyes were wide with panic.

“Oh my god,” Lily whispered.

“Is he suggesting that its- Wait, is he implying that,” Sirius choked out, shaking his head vigorously as if to rid himself from such a horrid thought.

**“It was as though an iron fist had clenched suddenly around Harry's heart. Over the rustling of the trees, he seemed to hear once more what Hagrid had told him on the night they had met: _"Some say he died.   Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die."_ ”**

“No no no no no no no,” Lily said, shaking her head, sinking her face into her hands.

“This is scary,” Sirius whispered, and James nodded in agreement.

“So. Wait that that thing in front of him, that was Voldemort?” Remus asked, blinking quickly in order to rid himself of his shock and disbelief.

“I believe so,” Lily agreed, nodding her head, and Remus shuddered violently.

“Or what was left of him at least,” James said, eyes narrowed out of fear and anger.

“Is that why his scar hurts?” Sirius asked, and Lily frowned.

“When Voldemort’s around? Maybe,” she conceded, nodding her head, “Sounds about right”

“But what about when it hurt because of Snape?” James questioned, and Remus shrugged.

“He was a death eater. He relates,” he said simply.

**“"Do you mean," Harry croaked, "that was Vol-"**

**"Harry! Harry, are you all right?" Hermione was running toward them down the path, Hagrid puffing along behind her.”**

“OF ALL THE POSSIBLE TIMINGS!” Sirius yelled, and for once, Lily didn’t chastise him for yelling at Hermione Granger

“If he had just finished the conversation, we’d have so many answers,” Remus sighed, shaking his head, upset.

**“"I'm fine," said Harry, hardly knowing what he was saying. "The unicorn's dead, Hagrid, it's in that clearing back there."**

**"This is where I leave you," Firenze murmured as Hagrid hurried off to examine the unicorn. "You are safe now." Harry slid off his back. "Good luck, Harry Potter," said Firenze. "The planets have been read wrongly before now, even by centaurs. I hope this is one of those times."”**

“Is he implying that Harry’s going to die?” James asked, voice shaking slightly, and Lily nodded slowly

“That’s what it sounds like,” she said worriedly, eyes sparkling slightly with unshed tears.

“He’s not,” Sirius said harshly, catching all their attention, “the bleeding planets say so. Doesn’t count,” he said, and the others laughed.

“He has a point,” Remus said, wrinkling his nose, initiating more laughter.

**“He turned and cantered back into the depths of the forest, leaving Harry shivering behind him.”**

“Quick bet; Cold or fear?” Sirius asked, and Lily snorted.

“Fear,” she said, and James smirked.

“I second that.”

“I concur,” Remus said, and Sirius huffed

“You lot are so boring,” he muttered, and Remus smirked.

“And for that, I’m doing this,” he said, and Sirius frowned.

**“oOo”**

“NO!” Sirius yelled, as Lily and James laughed loudly, “IT RARELY COMES AROUND ANYMORE!”

“And I was going to let you do it, but you insulted us,” Remus said, and then shrugged, grinning cheekily, “Tough.”

“You suck,” Sirius said, and Remus beamed at him.

**“Ron had fallen asleep in the dark common room, waiting for them to return. He shouted something about Quidditch fouls when Harry roughly shook him awake.”**

The four of them chuckled at this, “I remember James used to do that,” Remus said, and Sirius barked a laugh as James flushed

“Except it wasn’t Quidditch,” Sirius winked, and James groaned, hiding is face in his hands.

“What was it?” Lily asked, and Sirius regarded her for a second, before sighing.

“Cant do it love, Marauders honour,” he said, and Lily smirked.

“I thought I was one!”

“This is why I don’t like playing with her, she always uses my words against me,” Sirius complained, and the others burst out laughing.

**“In a matter of seconds, though, he was wide-eyed as Harry began to tell him and Hermione what had happened in the forest.”**

“I bet he would be. That’s bloody frightening,” Sirius shuddered and the others nodded their agreement.

“Can you imagine going through this in _First Year_?” Lily asked, chuckling slightly, as she shook her head, “He’s new to the magic world, _and_ all this nonsense is happening.”

“That would be terrible,” Remus agreed, nodding his head, his nose crinkled slightly.

**“Harry couldn't sit down. He paced up and down in front of the fire. He was still shaking.”**

“Eleven year olds pace?” Sirius asked, and Lily smirked.

“This one does,” she said, and the boys laughed

“I always knew the offspring of Lily and James would be strange,” Remus mused, causing Sirius to laugh, and Lily and James to glare at him.

“I’m insulted that you’d call any offspring of mine strange,” Lily said, and Sirius smirked.

“Don’t worry Lil, it’s the James in him.”

“I take offense to that,” James muttered, and the boys sniggered.

**“"Snape wants the stone for Voldemort... and Voldemort's waiting in the forest... and all this time we thought Snape just wanted to get rich...."**

**"Stop saying the name!" said Ron in a terrified whisper, as if he thought Voldemort could hear them.”**

“Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself,” Lily sighed, almost wearily, “I’m tired of people cowering when I say the word.”

“And it’s not like the name’s Taboo or anything,” Sirius snorted, and the others laughed.

“Can you imagine how many fighters would get killed if it was though?” Remus asked, shuddering slightly, “It would be terrible.”

“I hope for our sakes he’s not that smart,” James said, and Lily grimaced.

“And because it’s us, I’m sure it’ll happen,” she muttered, and the boys snorted humorlessly in agreement. 

**“Harry wasn't listening.”**

“Good boy,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“He’s not a dog James,” she said, and the other two boys laughed.

“He’s my child, he’s as good as,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as he grinned down at her.

**“"Firenze saved me, but he shouldn't have done so... Bane was furious...  he was talking about interfering with what the planets say is going to happen.... They must show that Voldemort's coming back.... Bane thinks Firenze should have let Voldemort kill me.... I suppose that's written in the stars as well."**

**"Will you stop saying the name!" Ron hissed.”**

“Oh suck it up minion,” Sirius said and Lily burst out laughing

“I’d forgotten about the minion-ness!” she said, and then smirked at him, “Your minion missed _everything”_

“Oh shut it Lillian,” Sirius muttered as James and Remus sniggered along with the giggling Lily.

**“"So all I've got to wait for now is Snape to steal the Stone," Harry went on feverishly, "then Voldemort will be able to come and finish me off... Well, I suppose Bane'll be happy."”**

They all snorted as Harry concluded, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He’s just like you,” Lily muttered, nudging James, who smirked.

“Isn’t he fortunate?” he said, and she threw him a look as Sirius and Remus snickered.

“Are you suggesting he’d be unfortunate if he were like me?” she asked, and James grimaced as the other two boys sniggered.

“There’s no winning for me, is there?” he asked, and Lily beamed, kissing him on the cheek.

“You learn fast,” she said sweetly, and James shook his head amusedly as the other two continued to laugh.

**“Hermione looked very frightened, but she had a word of comfort.”**

“Please comfort my eleven year old,” Lily said, and Sirius huffed

“You can’t use your minion that way!”

“Actually, yes I can,” Lily said, and beamed at Sirius, who glared back at her.

“Don’t take it personally,” Remus smirked, “He’s just sore that he’s losing.”

“I figured,” Lily laughed as Sirius glared at Remus.

**“"Harry, everyone says Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was ever afraid of With Dumbledore around, You-Know-Who won't touch you. Anyway, who says the centaurs are right? It sounds like fortune-telling to me, and Professor McGonagall says that's a very imprecise branch of magic."”**

“Oh Hermione Granger, I love you so,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

“She’s right though,” Sirius sighed, “We forgot to consider Dumbledore in the equation.”

“Bloody stupid of us, don’t you think?” James asked, and the others snorted in agreement.

“Plus, she’s right about McGonagall,” Lily said, and Sirius smirked, “Yes, whatever, call me a swot, I don’t care,” she said, and both James and Remus laughed as Sirius regarded her with an amused air, “But you cant deny that McGonagall is always right.”

“Lily has a point,” Remus said, and both James and Sirius smirked.

“What else is new?” James asked, kissing Lily’s temple, and she beamed.

**“The sky had turned light before they stopped talking. They went to bed exhausted, their throats sore. But the night's surprises weren't over.”**

“Oh god what now?” Lily muttered irritably, causing the boys to burst out laughing.

“Wow Lily, control your temper there,” James said, grinning, “Don’t want you murdering something by accident.”

“The only thing I’d murder by accident would be you, Potter,” she muttered, and James smirked as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“At least I know it’d be an accident,” he said happily, and Lily huffed as the other two laughed harder.

**“When Harry pulled back his sheets, he found his invisibility cloak folded neatly underneath them. There was a note pinned to it: _Just in case_.”**

“Well I’ll be damned,” James said, blinking quickly.

“I find it unfair how people keep finding things for him,” Sirius muttered, “When I cant find my socks, no-one ever helps me!” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Because that’s completely the same thing,” she said, and Remus and James laughed.

“Is that it?” Sirius asked, after glaring at Lily, who only beamed at him.

“Yep, we just move on to the next chapter,” Remus said, and James nodded.

“What is it?”

**“Chapter Sixteen: Through the Trapdoor”**

“No way!” Sirius yelled, as all four of their eyes widened in surprise

“They’re actually going down there?” Lily squeaked, “But that’s dangerous!”

“As is the idea of Voldemort returning,” James said, and Lily flushed as he smirked at her amusedly

“Shut up,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“I feel like we need a change of scenery,” Sirius said, looking around the kitchen, “Somewhere we can yell.”

“Common Room it is,” James said, pushing himself up, taking Lily with him, the others following suite. They left the kitchens, after waving the house elves goodbye.

“You know what’s weird?” Lily said suddenly, and they all turned to look at her, “How we used to be able to do magic without wands, and no we’re so dependent on them,” she said, and the boys frowned.

“You’re right,” James said, frowning, “that is strange.”

“Not to mention irritating,” Lily muttered, “I could have summoned my wand back without magic,” she said, glaring at Sirius, who beamed as James and Remus laughed, “I’d like that back thanks.”

“I did promise,” Sirius sighed, pulling her wand out of his pocket and handing it to her.

“I’ve missed you!” Lily squealed, and the boys laughed. She smirked and pointed it at Sirius, who gulped.

“I did it for our general safety!”

“Sure you did,” she beamed, before cocking her head to the side, watching Sirius cower as James and Remus sniggered behind her, “Now what should I do?”

* * *

**Hope you liked it! And if you have any good movie or TV show recommendations for me they’d be greatly appreciated. I’m running out of things to watch while procrastinating!**

 


	17. Through the Trapdoor

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. I wish I did, but I don’t.**

* * *

“What is it you lot have against my hair?” Sirius grumbled, as he plunked down the dormitory stairs into the common room, tugging ferociously at the beanie on his head, “It’s done nothing wrong.”

“Well, you have, and that’s what I’m trying to punish,” Lily said, grinning cheekily at him.

“Then punish me! Not my hair!” Sirius whined, “Of all things to destroy, you choose my hair. It’s really not fair at all,” he muttered, throwing himself on the armchair that Remus was not occupying as James and Lily sniggered from the sofa.

“Sirius, your reaction right now is why I chose the hair,” Lily said, and Sirius huffed irritably, “So what’s this punishment you lot were talking about?” she asked, turning to James and Remus, who smirked as Sirius groaned.

“It’s a Marauder tradition,” Remus said

“We can’t say anything more love, sorry. You’ll see,” James winked, and Lily sighed.

“But I want to know!”

“And I want my hair to be normal again Evans. Some things just don’t happen,” Sirius said, and Lily smirked at him as Remus and James laughed.

“If I change your hair back will you tell me?” Lily asked, grinning widely at Sirius, who looked desperately between James and Remus, who were smirking at him, and Lily.

“No,” he groaned, hiding is face in his hands, “I cannot believe I denied this,” he mumbled, glaring at James and Remus, who only laughed.

**“Chapter Sixteen: Through the Trapdoor”**

“I cannot believe they’re going down there,” Lily muttered, and the boys smirked, “Oh shut up, just because you lot are such miscreants,” she said accusingly, glaring at James, who winked back at her.

“Don’t pretend you don’t envy our miscreantness Evans,” Sirius smirked, leaning back in his chair, and Remus snorted.

“Miscreantness?”

“It’s a mark of what a miscreant I am that I was able to use such horrid grammar,” Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes as Lily and James snickered.

“It’s not a word,” Remus mumbled, and Sirius grinned.

“And that, my friend, is why I am a greater miscreant that you are,” he said, clapping his hands, and Remus rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

“Kill me now,” he said to Lily, who laughed.

**“In years to come, Harry would never quite remember how he had managed to get through his exams”**

“Nobody will kiddo,” James chuckled, and Sirius smirked.

“Well, maybe Lil will. She probably has the time of her life in there, all those points to get,” Sirius drawled, his smirk widening as Lily’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh yes, it’s like Disneyland in there,” she snorted, and the boys frowned at her.

“What’s Disneyland?”

“You lot are useless,” Lily huffed, and the boys smirked at her.

“Seriously though, what is Disneyland?” Remus asked curiously, leaning forward, an expression of genuine interest on his features.

“It’s a theme park,” Lily sighed, and the boys’ eyes widened.

“We’re going to one right?” James asked excitedly, and Lily bit her lip, pretending to be deep in thought as the boys bounced around in their seats.

“Yeah okay,” she sighed, giggling as the boys cheered, “I’ve already promised you this!”

“But it’s nice to get confirmation,” Sirius said, and the boys nodded along with him.

“Oh, I get your joke now,” James said, and Lily banged her forehead on her hand as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

**“when he half expected Voldemort to come bursting through the door at any moment.**

“I can see how that’d be distracting,” Sirius said amusedly as James, Remus and Lily laughed.

“If Voldemort came bursting into an exam, would you have to retake it sometime after?” James asked, and the others quirked brows at him, “What? It’s an honest question.”

“I would assume so,” Lily shrugged, and James snorted.

“Well that’s rude. Shouldn’t you just cancel the exam and use the grade you had from before?” he asked, and Lily huffed.

“Well I don’t _know_ James! I was taking a guess,” she said, and the three boys smirked.

“Lily Evans? Not knowing? What has become of the world?” Sirius gasped dramatically, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Remus laughed.

**“Yet the days crept by, and there could be no doubt that Fluffy was still alive and well behind the locked door.”**

“How can they know this for certain? Maybe its dead,” Sirius shrugged

“Sirius!” Lily cried, glaring at him, “You can’t wish these things!”

“I’m sorry, have you come to care for the beast?” Sirius asked, and Lily’s eyes widened for a second before she giggled.

“Beauty and the Beast,” she said, and the boys looked at her in alarm.

“I’m sorry?” Remus asked, and Lily shook her head, still smiling.

“Muggle thing,” she said, waving her hand, “And no, I have not come to care for the beast, but I have come to care about the return of Voldemort,” she said, and James slapped his palm to his forehead.

“If the dog’s dead, Snape can get past it and get the stone,” he said, and Lily nodded.

“Exactly.”

“Sirius!” James said, and Sirius held his hands up as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“It was sweltering hot, especially in the large classroom where they did their written papers.”**

Sirius frowned, and upon seeing his facial expression Lily sighed deeply.

“What?” James muttered to her but she nodded towards Sirius with an amused smile.

“I don’t see the relation there,” Sirius started, “Is that how they knew the dog was alive? Because it was hot?” he snorted, “That’s bloody ridiculous. What crap logic.”

“Considering they are in no way related and that’s not what Harry was suggesting I’d say it is rather, as you said, crap logic,” Remus said, and both Lily and James laughed as Sirius flushed slightly

“I was just pointing out that that was a ridiculous transition,” Sirius said, and Remus shrugged.

“Well blame whoever wrote this then,” Remus muttered, and Lily beamed.

“Don’t worry Remus, we all know you wouldn’t have such a transition in your brilliant manuscripts,” she said, and Remus threw her a sarcastic look as James and Sirius sniggered.

“At least someone recognizes my abilities,” Remus said dramatically, placing his hand on his heart.

“Recognize and respect are different things my friend,” James said, and Remus glared at him as Lily and Sirius laughed

**“They had been given special, new quills for the exams, which had been bewitched with an Anti-Cheating spell.”**

“Irritating isn’t it?” Sirius muttered, and James smirked as Lily shot Sirius a disapproving look.

“And for good reason,” she protested, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“There are so many ways around them love,” he said, “Might as well learn to trust,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“That would have no effect whatsoever,” she said, “People would cheat.”

“They can cheat with the quills too!” Sirius said, and Lily snorted.

“Rubbish”

“No actually he’s right,” James said, and Lily’s eyes widened as she turned to him, realizing he was serious.

“That’s not true!” she gasped, and James nodded his head

“You can cheat off of other peoples papers. The quill only stops you from cheating with a self correcting or a charmed quill,” he said, and Lily gasped.

“No wonder you lot pass every year!” she said, smirking, and the three boys spluttered as she giggled manically.

“I take offense to that,” Remus said, and Lily smiled at him.

“My mistake. I know you wouldn’t do anything Remus,” she said, and Remus grinned.

“All I wanted,” he shrugged, and both James and Sirius yelled out in protestation.

“Way to throw us to the sharks mate!” James said, and Remus beamed.

“As long as she had no bad impression of me I don’t care about you lot. Hope the sharks bloody eat you all.”

“That’s so unfair,” Sirius pouted.

“For the record we don’t do that. We just happen to be blessed with brains,” James said.

“And good looks, obviously,” Sirius said, and James grinned.

“Obviously,” Lily deadpanned.

**“They had practical exams as well.”**

“Well, yes, that’s expected. It is a magic school isn’t it?” James asked, snickering madly.

“Did he actually think his comment was funny?” Lily asked Sirius, who barked with laughter as James’ jaw dropped

“Lily!”

“Yes, yes, you’re hilarious, etcetera, etcetera,” Lily drawled, and James pouted as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“I’m cutting you off,” James muttered and Lily smirked.

“I’d like to see you try,” she challenged, and Sirius sniggered.

“Don’t worry love he doesn’t have the restraint.”

“Thanks,” James huffed, as Remus, Sirius and Lily laughed, “I’m starting to rethink letting you be friends with them,” James said, nodding towards Remus and Sirius, earning a snort from Lily

“ _Letting_ me? Well that’s rich,” she said, “I’ll have you know James Potter that I can be friends with whom so ever I choose to be friends with,” she said, and James smirked.

“Until your real friends come back, of course.”

“Of course,” Lily agreed, and both Sirius and Remus squawked as Lily and James beamed at each other.

“I refuse to be treated like an item Evans,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged.

“A witch has to do what a witch has to do,” she sighed, and Sirius scowled at her as James and Remus smirked.

“Get the girl a snack,” Remus said, “It really takes it out of you, besting Sirius,” he said, and Lily and James chuckled as Sirius huffed

“She didn’t _best_ me.”

“Whatever you say,” Lily said, her tone decidedly condescending, and Sirius scowled.

“I hate you Red.”

“I love you too Beanie,” she beamed back, and Sirius glared at her as Remus and James roared with laughter.

**“Professor Flitwick called them one by one into his class to see if they could make a pineapple tap-dance across a desk.”**

“Oh I loved that exam,” Lily said happily, and James quirked a brow at her.

“Did I just hear love and exam in the same sentence?” he asked, flabbergasted, and Sirius snorted.

“You obviously don’t hang around her enough,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him as James and Remus laughed.

“It was a fun exam!” she said, and James laughed.

“Again with the positivity, and, dare I say it, _affection_ and exams in the same sentence!” James laughed, and Lily glared at him.

“Well I’m sorry if I enjoyed making fruits tap-dance,” Lily sniffed haughtily, and the boys laughed.

“If it makes you feel better Lil, I enjoyed it too,” Remus said, and Lily beamed at him as James and Sirius regarded him, flabbergasted.

“Moony!”

“You know,” Remus continued, “When it finished,” he winked, and Lily’s smile fell as James and Sirius hooted with laughter.

“Good one mate!” James laughed, leaning over to hi-five Remus.

“You’re all bloody, insolent, conniving, horrible bloody wankers,” Lily muttered, and the three boys smirked before taking mock bows, causing Lily’s lips to twitch with amusement.

**“Professor McGonagall watched them turn a mouse into a snuffbox-- points were given for how pretty the snuffbox was, but taken away if it had whiskers.”**

“What if whiskers are the trend?” Sirius challenged, and Lily snorted.

“I doubt that would happen Sirius,” she said, and Sirius shook his head ferociously

“You never know Evans. Birds are mad nowadays. Everything is a trend,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes at him as the other two boys chuckled, “Just walk into Gladrags in Hogsmeade next time. Bloody nutters some of the stuff they have in there!” he said, and Lily laughed.

“While there’s no denying that,” she said, and the boys laughed, “I highly doubt any snuffbox would ever have whiskers.”

“Don’t discriminate,” Sirius said, “I happen to like whiskered snuffboxes thanks,” he sniffed, and Lily threw James a pleading look as he and Remus laughed.

“McGonagall assesses your creative abilities. The better you can do the spell the more your creativity would come through,” James explained, and Lily beamed at him.

“Way to choose the bird over the blokes,” Remus muttered, and Lily’s jaw dropped as James and Sirius sniggered.

“That is the most insulting thing you have ever said in my presence Remus Lupin,” Lily said, and Remus smirked at her.

“They essentially assess how pretty the snuffbox is,” Lily said to Sirius, ignoring the snickering Remus.

“But I don’t see how prettiness is _allowed_ to be assessed! A snuffbox is a bloody snuffbox. And what happened to that whole ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ rubbish? How is McGonagall allowed to assess something I believe to be beautiful?” he challenged, and Lily threw him an irritated look as Remus and James sniggered.

“Bugger off I don’t want to talk to you anymore,” Lily said, and Sirius beamed proudly

“Do I get a snack for besting her?” Sirius asked, and James chuckled, shaking his head.

“Her point made more sense mate,” he said, and Sirius gasped.

“Bloody wanker,” Sirius hissed, and James blew him a kiss.

“ **Snape made them all nervous, breathing down their necks while they tried to remember how to make a Forgetfulness potion.”**

“Oh, the irony,” Lily said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“We had to make a calming draught,” Remus smiled, and James chuckled.

“Also ironic.”

“Not really, I was very calm, I found it appropriate,” Lily said, and the boys snorted.

“This coming from the Potions Princess,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed as the boys laughed.

**“Harry did the best he could, trying to ignore the stabbing pains in his forehead, which had been bothering him ever since his trip into the forest.”**

Sirius frowned slightly, before saying, “Think it’s Snape?”

“Why would you think that?” Remus asked

“It’s always around Snape isn’t it? Even at that dinner thing on his first night at Hogwarts,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed sadly

“Sirius has a point.”

“See? If she says I have a point, then I have a fucking point,” Sirius said, and Lily burst out laughing.

“Obviously,” she giggled, and Sirius winked at her.

**“Neville thought Harry had a bad case of exam nerves because Harry couldn't sleep,”**

“Sounds like a legitimate reason,” Remus nodded, and James snorted

“Really? You think Lily’s child would have exam _nerves_?” he asked, and Lily flushed as the boys snickered.

“Her child would have a bad case of excitement,” Sirius agreed, and Lily huffed.

“Well what about you?” she contested, shoving James, “Wouldn’t your child have a bad case of ‘I-don’t-give-a-rats-arse-about-exams-because-I-am-so-awesome-and-they’re-stupid-anyway-why-don’t-we-go-play-outside-?’ syndrome?” she asked, and James smirked as the other two laughed.

“Well played Lil,” James said, ruffling her hair, “But it’s too long of a title.”

“You could turn it into an acronym!” Sirius laughed, “That would be…er…IDGARAAEBIASAATSAWDWGPO!” Sirius finally yelled, and the others burst out laughing.

“Gazuntite,” James chuckled, and the others laughed.

“I think it should just be shortened to ‘this is stupid’ syndrome,” Remus said, and Lily nodded in agreement.

“That sounds about right,” James shrugged, leaning backwards, earning dirty looks from Lily and laughter from Remus and Sirius.

“Yes, see? Therefore the exam nerves reason can be discarded,” Remus said, and Sirius nodded.

“Stupid fat lump,” he said, and Lily screeched in protest as the others laughed.

“He didn’t know!” she defended, and Sirius beamed.

“Oh I know love, I just love to see you get so irritated,” he winked, and Lily glared at him as the other boys snickered.

**“but the truth was that Harry kept being woken by his old nightmare, except that it was now worse than ever because there was a hooded figure dripping blood in it.”**

Lily winced as the three boys grimaced.

“Oh my poor baby,” she said sadly, and Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically and pretended to vomit, causing the other two boys to laugh as Lily threw him a disapproving yet amused look.

“He should _Aguamenti_ its face,” James said, and Lily threw him a deadpan look as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

“Yes that’s the solution to everything,” Lily said, and James winked at her.

**“Maybe it was because they hadn't seen what Harry had seen in the forest, or because they didn't have scars burning on their foreheads, but Ron and Hermione didn't seem as worried about the Stone as Harry.”**

“Well obviously, you’re in a far worse position than them! They’ll never understand, don’t take it personally,” Remus said, and Sirius yelled.

“Don’t speak ill of my minion!” he yelled, and Remus snorted

“I’m hardly speaking _ill_ of him, I’m just saying,” he said, and Sirius glared at him.

“You’re fired,” Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes as Lily and James laughed.

**“The idea of Voldemort certainly scared them,”**

“Well I should certainly hope so,” Lily said, and James chuckled.

“Oh Lil, so naïve.”

“Don’t tell me you’re not scared of him,” she said, and James shook his head, his face suddenly serious.

“I’m scared of who he can hurt to hurt me,” James said, and Lily flushed as his eyes flickered to her.

“Thanks mate,” Sirius huffed, “So we’re allowed to die Moony, just so you know,” Sirius said to Remus, and James chuckled and beamed at Sirius as Sirius crossed his arms moodily.

“I’d care if Moony died!” James said, and Sirius’ glare intensified as James and Remus laughed.

“I’d care if you died Sirius,” Lily cut in, and Sirius beamed widely at her.

“At least someone does,” he said, shooting James another glare, which James received with a bark of laughter.

**“but he didn't keep visiting them in dreams, and they were so busy with their studying they didn't have much time to fret about what Snape or anyone else might be up to.”**

“Oh no!” Sirius gasped, and they all turned to him, suddenly alarmed.

“What?” James asked, frowning

“Does this mean Harry’s not studying?” Sirius gasped, looking at Lily with a flabbergasted expression. His answer caused Remus and James to burst out laughing and Lily to roll her eyes, fighting a smile.

“He’s probably just brilliant, doesn’t need to study you see,” Lily said, and Sirius smirked at her.

“And he got that from James?” Sirius asked, and Lily scowled as the boys sniggered.

“No. He doesn’t just bullshit his way through an exam thanks,” Lily said, and James spluttered.

“I don’t bullshit my way through an exam!”

“That is true,” Remus agreed, “James studies on his own time.”

“And when is that?” Lily asked, and James smirked.

“Whenever I feel like it.”

“I hate you,” Lily huffed, and James beamed, dropping a kiss on her temple. 

**Their very last exam was History of Magic.**

“Extreme ew,” Sirius said, and the others burst out laughing.

“Very manly response,” James complimented, and Sirius winked at him.

“I swear I fell asleep during that OWL,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted.

“You did.”

“No way!” Lily laughed, shaking her head in disbelief as Sirius smiled proudly, “how did you do on it?”

“E,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily gasped.

“WHAT?”

“Brilliant aren’t I?” Sirius winked, and Lily glared at him.

“Now I have proof that you know how to get around an Anti-Cheating Quill,” Lily muttered, and both James and Remus burst out laughing as Sirius smiled

“All my own brilliance Evans,” he said, and Lily shook her head

“I don’t believe you.”

“Your loss,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily’s eyes narrowed, causing James and Remus to snicker.

“You forgot to mention that you fell asleep after you finished the exam twenty minutes early,” James said, and Sirius whined as Lily rolled her eyes

“Don’t!” Sirius whined, and Lily shook her head disapprovingly as Remus and James laughed, “she believed me!”

“She plainly said ‘I don’t believe you’,” James deadpanned, and Sirius glared at him as Remus and Lily laughed.

“That’s not the point!”

“Then what is?” James shot back, and Sirius huffed.

“You love her more than me,” Sirius sniffed, and James rolled his eyes as Remus and Lily chuckled.

“No,” James said, and Sirius beamed, “Just differently,” James said, and Lily cleared her throat.

“Don’t say the L-word in front of Lil,” Remus stage-whispered to James, who flushed but rolled his eyes all the same as Sirius laughed and Lily flushed.

**“One hour of answering questions about batty old wizards who'd invented self-stirring cauldrons and they'd be free,”**

Sirius snickered, “Batty old wizards,” he sighed, smiling, “I am so glad this kid got your wit Prongs,” he said, and Lily spluttered as the three boys sniggered.

“That was so rude,” Lily said, “And I’ll have you know my wit is extraordinary thanks,” she said, and Remus chuckled.

“Can’t argue with that one Padfoot. Remember what she was like when she hated Prongs?” Remus asked, and Sirius smirked, nodding.

“I concur,” Sirius said, “and for the record Lil, I found your witty comebacks magnificent and had to resist the urge to cheer when you struck back,” he said, and James rolled his eyes as Lily giggled

“I got her in the end didn’t I?” he mumbled, and the boys snickered as Lily smiled at James.

“We’ll see,” she said, and James glared at her as she beamed at him.

“So, self stirring cauldrons!” Sirius chimed in as James started to turn red, saving his best mate the embarrassment, receiving a grateful grin in return.

“Would be bloody useful wouldn’t they?” Remus asked, and James nodded.

“My arms get so damn tired,” James sighed, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I’m sure your arms have had practice,” she snorted, and James smirked at her, eyes flashing with mischief.

“I assure you Lil, I’m prepared,” he said suggestively, and Lily scowled at his winking face as Sirius and Remus sniggered

“I was referring to Quidditch you dolt,” she said, and James shrugged.

“Still prepared.”

“Incorrigible arse,” she muttered, and James beamed at her as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“ **free for a whole wonderful week until their exam results came out.”**

“Is that nervousness I sense?” Remus asked, and Sirius snorted.

“I’m sure he’ll do fine,” Sirius said, before nodding towards Lily and James, “Parents like that I don’t think its possible to fail.”

“Sirius! Did you just compliment me?” Lily asked in a faux-choked voice, holding her hands to her heart, and Sirius rolled his eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“Oh bugger off you,” he said affectionately, and Lily beamed at him.

**“When the ghost of Professor Binns told them to put down their quills and roll up their parchment, Harry couldn't help cheering with the rest.”**

“That has to be the best noise ever,” Sirius said, and James smiled.

“Agreed.”

“Although it probably breaks Lily’s heart,” Sirius continued, and the three boys turned to Lily with sympathetic looks.

“Why are you all so irritating today?” she asked, and the boys sniggered.

“Well, you ruined my hair,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Justified.”

“Oh this could get interesting,” Remus chuckled, and James smirked, “JUDGE!” Remus yelled, and James groaned.

“I wanted to be judge!”

“You snooze you lose,” Remus said proudly, and James stuck his tongue out at him.

“What are we doing?” Lily asked, and James smiled.

“Court scene,” he said, and Lily sighed, shaking her head amusedly

“Prongs you’re witness.” Sirius said, and James beamed.

“Excellent,” he said.

“Order! Order in the court!” Remus yelled, his voice purposely altered to sound more dignified, “we are here to address the extent to which the maiming of the hair on Mr. Sirius Black’s head was justified,” he continued, and Lily giggled, “Defendant, Mr. Sirius Black, represented by Mr. Sirius Black,” he said, gesturing to Sirius, who stuck Lily with the best faux glare she had ever seen, “Prosecutor, Ms. Lily Evans, represented by Ms. Lily Evans. We’ll begin with our witness. Mr. Black, you may begin,” Remus said, and Sirius cleared his throat.

“State your name for the record,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted at his serious tone.

“James Potter,” James said, and Lily shot him an exasperated look, receiving a wink in return.

“Were you present for the maiming of my clients hair?” Sirius asked

“No”

“Were you present for the act which triggered the mad wench to maim the beautiful head of hair?”

“Objection!” Lily yelled, and Remus beamed at her.

“On what grounds?” Remus asked, and Lily rolled her eyes, “you might as well do it properly,” Remus whispered, and she sighed.

“Defendant has just openly insulted prosecutor, painting my client as a supposed ‘mad wench’, as well as offering the assumption that the maimed head of hair was beautiful, thereby attempting to achieve sympathy from the witness,” she said, and Remus nodded.

“Sustained,” he announced, and Sirius glared at him.

“Assumption my arse,” Sirius muttered under his breath, causing the others to laugh, “Were you present for the act which triggered the maiming of the hair?” Sirius repeated, and James smirked.

“Affirmative. It had to do with someone stealing a wand,” he said, and Sirius glared at him, before turning to Remus.

“Permission to be hostile towards witness?” he asked, and Lily laughed.

“ _Objection!_ ” James squawked, and Lily snorted.

“Witnesses aren’t allowed to object,” Lily said sweetly, and James’ jaw dropped as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“She fits in perfectly,” Sirius said happily, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Don’t get used to it, I’m just filling in with your nonsense until your fourth member returns,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

“But I’ll miss you!”

“Does this mean I won?” she asked Remus, who smirked and nodded.

“OI! WE DIDN’T DECIDE THAT!” Sirius roared, and Remus shrugged.

“Judge rules! No violation,” he said, and Sirius glared as Remus, James and Lily beamed.

“Lets just bloody read,” Sirius said moodily, crossing his arms and tugging on his beanie, earning laughter from everyone else.

**"That was far easier than I thought it would be," said Hermione as they joined the crowds flocking out onto the sunny grounds. "I needn't have learned about the 1637 Werewolf Code of Conduct or the uprising of Elfric the Eager."**

“Honey, no-one needs to learn about that,” Sirius said, and the other three laughed

“What Sirius means is that it’s never tested,” Remus said, shaking his head amusedly, and Sirius exchanged an exasperated look with James before turning back to Remus.

“No, I meant the first thing I said,” Sirius said

“Just because you’re a History of Magic fan,” James added, and Remus glared at him as the others laughed

“Especially when it comes to the Werewolf Code of Conduct,” Sirius continued, and Remus shot him a look before regarding Lily warily.

“I’m not a bloody fan. I just find it interesting,” Remus huffed, crossing his arms as James and Sirius smirked at the abrupt change in topic, “Lily knows what I mean,” he said, and Lily smiled.

“I can see how I’d be your best option here, but no Remus, you’re on your own here,” she said, and Remus’ jaw dropped as James and Sirius roared with laughter

**“Hermione always liked to go through their exam papers afterward,”**

“What a swot,” Sirius snorted, and both Remus and Lily glared at him.

“Careful mate, you’ve got two notorious ‘like-to-go-through-their-exam-paper-afterwards’ people right here,” James said, unnecessarily pointing to both Lily and Remus.

“We can go through papers together Remus,” Lily said, and Remus beamed.

“Do your friends get on you for it too?” Remus asked, and Lily grimaced.

“They take the mickey every chance they get,” she confirmed, and both James and Sirius sniggered

“Sounds familiar,” Remus said darkly, and Lily exchanged a sympathetic smile with him “If you work on them I’ll work on yours,” Remus said, and Sirius smirked.

“She can work on us anytime,” Sirius said, winking at Lily, who flushed brilliantly as the three boys roared with laughter.

“Oi,” James said, putting his arm around Lily, and Sirius chuckled.

**“but Ron said this made him feel ill,”**

Sirius and James burst out laughing as Remus and Lily shook their heads, fighting smiles.

“This kid has a good head on his shoulders,” Sirius said proudly, and James snorted.

“Stop trying to subtly compliment yourself,” James said, and Sirius winked at him as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“so they wandered down to the lake and flopped under a tree.”**

“Our tree?” James said excitedly, and Lily smiled at his childish enthusiasm.

“Possibly. It _is_ the best tree down there,” Remus reasoned, and Sirius snorted.

“Yes but they’re first years, therefore its unlikely they would get such a good spot,” he said, and James shook his head.

“No! You’re forgetting that this is _the_ Harry Potter,” James contested.

“Touché,” Sirius nodded, smiling.

**“The Weasley twins and Lee Jordan were tickling the tentacles of a giant squid, which was basking in the warm shallows.”**

“I hate it when people do that,” Lily shuddered, and James turned to her with wide eyes.

“Why?” he asked, bewildered.

“They’re _stroking_ a _squid_!” she squeaked, shuddering once more.

“Yes but its not any squid. Its the Giant Squid,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“A squid is a squid,” she said, and Sirius shook his head.

“So young, so naïve,” he said dramatically, and Lily glared at him as Remus and James laughed.

“It’s a squid. You don’t stroke squids. They’re slimy and sticky and-”

“Priss,” Sirius coughed, and Lily gasped as Remus and James forced back their laughter.

**"No more studying," Ron sighed happily, stretching out on the grass.”**

“What did I tell you?” Sirius said proudly, gesturing towards the book, “Good head on his shoulders,” he grinned at James, who rolled his eyes.

“We’ll just wait and see whose minion does better,” James said, and Sirius smirked at him.

“I’m not taking that bet. Mine will lose,” Sirius said, and Lily shrieked in indignance as the boys laughed.

“You can’t say things like that!” she squeaked.

“Honey I just did,” Sirius winked, and Lily glared at him.

**"You could look more cheerful, Harry, we've got a week before we find out how badly we've done, there's no need to worry yet."**

Lily snorted in an un-lady-like fashion as the boys snickered.

“This kid has the right attitude,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He needs some serious self-esteem therapy,” she sighed, “Or you could give him some Sirius, seeing as you have more than you’re supposed to,” she said, and Sirius spluttered as Remus and James

“Are you suggesting I’m conceited?” Sirius gasped, and Lily smiled sweetly

“I’m not suggesting that you’re conceited,” she said, and Sirius beamed, “I’m stating it outright,” she finished, grinning as Sirius’ expression fell.

**“Harry was rubbing his forehead.”**

“I’m not surprised, the stupid hair must irritate,” Lily said knowingly, grinning at James as he shot her a playfully angry look.

“It’s the _scar_ ,” James drawled, and Sirius snorted.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night mate,” he winked, and James glared at him as Remus and Lily laughed.

**"I wish I knew what this means!" he burst out angrily.**

“The hair?”

“The scar?”

“It means there’s a scar,” James snorted, rolling his eyes at his friends’ stupid question.

“He MEANS the pain you idiots,” Remus huffed, and Lily beamed at him as James and Sirius pouted

“Drama queen,” Sirius snorted, and Lily glared at him.

“Sexist comment,” she muttered, and Sirius barked out a laugh.

“Love, drama king doesn’t work,” he said, and she smiled sweetly

“We just refer to those as Marauders,” she quipped, and the three boys gasped dramatically, clutching at their chests.

“Fair maiden say it isn’t so!” James exclaimed, getting down on his knees beside Lily.

“Take back the cruel words that strike my heart with agony!” Sirius yelled, hanging his head off the side of the armchair.

“I see what you mean,” Remus said, pretending to stroke his beard, and Lily laughed

“You’re all impossible,” she giggled, shaking her head.

“But you love us,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily snorted.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Sirius.”

“You know what would help me sleep at night?” he asked suggestively, winking at Lily, who shook her head fondly as the three boys sniggered dirtily

“I’m surprised Prongs let you get away with that,” Remus mused, grinning at James, who was laughing along with Sirius.

“I know he doesn’t stand a chance, so it’s okay,” James retorted, grinning at Lily who only giggled and shook her head.

**"My scar keeps hurting - it's happened before, but never as often as this."**

“Well I think, and this is just on a whim here, that in order to figure out why it’s hurting at that moment, he should explore what happened _before_ when it hurt,” Sirius said, and James snorted.

“Spiffing observation mate”

“Well done,” Remus drawled, rolling his eyes

“Well can any of you actually tell me why?” Sirius challenged, and Lily laughed as the other two boys frowned in thought.

“Can you, oh wise one?” she teased, and Sirius smirked at her.

“Yes I can fair maiden. Last time it was due to the presence of Snivellus,” he said, and James rolled his eyes

“Yes and we’re soon going to find out Snape was sitting near him throughout his exams,” he said, and Sirius flushed slightly as Remus snickered.

“Oi! That’s more than you lot came up with,” he said defensively

“Probably because we were thinking of something realistic,” Remus quipped, and Sirius glared at him.

“Lily everyone’s mean to me,” Sirius whined, and Lily giggled.

“It’s okay Sirius, we’re mean to James too!” she said, reaching over to pinch James’ cheek as Sirius and Remus laughed at James’ scowl.

“ **"Go to Madam Pomfrey," Hermione suggested.”**

The boys snorted and rolled their eyes, causing Lily to frown at them.

“It’s a logical suggestion,” she defended, sticking her chin out slightly, and James smirked at her.

“Was that what you were thinking, love?” he asked innocently, and she stuck her tongue out at him as Sirius sniggered.

“He’s not _ill_ Lily,” he teased.

“Yes, but she’s an expert on pain and healing!” she protested, flushing slightly as the boys exchanged amused glances.

“Poppy would probably just have Harry lie there the whole day,” Remus huffed, an edge of bitterness in his voice that Lily didn’t understand.

“You don’t know that,” she defended, and Remus shot James a look, causing James to grin widely.

**"I'm not ill," said Harry."**

“I told you so,” Sirius smirked, flicking his hair out of his eyes.

“Shut up Sirius,” Lily said, as Sirius wagged his eyebrows at her.

“In all fairness he did tell you so,” James said, and Lily quirked a brow at him as Remus and Sirius beamed, “Why aren’t I defending you, you ask? Excellent question,” he twisted to face Lily, who was fighting a smile, “It’s always be mean to James and be mean to Sirius day. And we have had a be mean to Remus day,” he added, looking towards Remus, who nodded in confirmation, “I move we introduce a be mean to Lily day,” he said, and Lily’s jaw dropped as he beamed, “All those in favor, say I!”

“I!” Sirius quipped, leaning over to hi-five James.

“I,” Remus conceded, winking at the flabbergasted Lily.

“I,” James added, beaming, “So it’s settled. Tomorrow will be ‘be mean to Lily’ day,” he finished.

“I hate you,” Lily grumbled and James smirked.

“I’m sure you do,” he quipped, kissing her cheek swiftly before resting himself back down, a look of pure satisfaction lining his handsome features.

**"I think it's a warning... it means danger's coming..."**

“Overdramatic,” Sirius snorted, and James smirked.

“Wonder where he got that from?” he asked innocently, shooting Lily a pointed look, which she in turn pointedly ignored.

“I think he’s right,” she said slowly, acting as if the previous conversation between James and Sirius had not occurred.

“Me too, sadly,” Remus responded, rubbing at his temples.

“But what’s coming?” Lily asked, a hint of desperation colouring her tone.

“He just saw Voldemort,” James reasoned, and Lily sighed.

“So obviously Voldemort’s coming,” she concluded in a resigned tone. The boys eyed her sympathetically, distracted by the sudden snapping of Sirius’ fingers.

“What if it’s not Voldemort?”

“Who else would it be?” James asked, rolling his eyes.

“Well, what if it were one of Voldemort’s…helpers,” Sirius added, his eyes flickering to Lily, measuring her reaction.

“If you’re suggesting its Snape-“

“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting!” Sirius exclaimed, “It all fits! Snape’s going to go for the stone and give it to Voldemort, so Harry will end up facing off with Snape, not Voldemort,” he finished, very obviously proud of his own intellect.

“I’m not sure which one I’d prefer, to be honest,” James sighed, crossing his arms.

“I’d love to see him kick Snape’s slimy arse,” Sirius sniggered, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Please Sirius. He’s only a first year, and Snape’s wildly talented in the dark arts,” she ended in a whisper.

“Well hopefully we’ll never have to find out,” Remus added kindly after a few moments of morbid silence.

**“Ron couldn't get worked up, it was too hot.”**

The four of them burst out laughing, a tremendous relief from the previously morbid atmosphere in the room.

“Typical,” Lily laughed, fondly shaking her head.

“EXCUSE ME, but what do you mean by that?” Sirius gasped defensively, leaning towards her with playfully narrowed eyes

“I think she means to say it sounds an awful lot like someone we know,” James said casually, grinning at Sirius’ aghast expression.

“Like Sirius, like minion,” Remus agreed, causing Lily to giggle.

“I refuse to face this kind of abuse,” Sirius muttered, crossing his arms, “You’re all a bunch of bloody wankers, you know that?”

“Mate, you can’t call a girl a wanker,” James said, shaking his head at his best friends’ idiocy.

“Well-” Sirius began, a wicked smile spreading across his face.

“Don’t even go there,” Lily quipped, earning sniggers from the three boys.

“Why Lil? Making you uncomfortable?” James teased, and Lily shot him a glare.

**"Harry, relax, Hermione's right, the Stone's safe as long as Dumbledore's around. Anyway, we've never had any proof Snape found out how to get past Fluffy.”**

“That is very true,” Lily nodded, “The first logical thing he’s said,” she added, grinning wryly at Sirius and his dropped jaw.

“Prongs! She keeps insulting me!” he whined, turning to James, who chuckled.

“I believe she was talking about Ronald,” James smirked, and Lily beamed at him as Sirius scowled

“I see you’ve shifted to the dark side,” he said dramatically, glaring at Lily, who giggled, “Moony, it’s just the two of us now!”

“James,” Remus hissed, “Why would you do this to me?”

“OI!” Sirius yelled as the other three laughed, “Stop laughing at my expense.”

“No,” Lily grinning, and Sirius pouted.

“You know,” he said, abruptly changing the subject, “there are so many things wrong with Ron’s little statement.”

“Like what?” James asked, grinning.

“Well, firstly and most importantly, he said ‘Hermione’s right’,” Sirius said dramatically, and Lily quirked a brow

“Do elaborate.”

“Well there are two parts of this which are intermittently wrong,” he started, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as James and Remus grinned, “Firstly, he shifted to _the dark side_ by siding with Hermione,” Sirius glared at James as he said this, causing the boy to smirk, “and secondly, you’re never supposed to admit that the bird is right!” Sirius finished, and Lily snorted.

“He has a point there,” James agreed, and Lily raised her brows at him.

“James dear,” she said and he turned to her, eyebrow quirked at the term of endearment, “For future reference, I feel you should know that I’m always right,” she said, and James smirked at her as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“Yes _dear_ ,” he chuckled.

**“He nearly had his leg ripped off once, he's not going to try it again in a hurry.”**

“Touché,” Remus chuckled

“Although you never know with a crackpot like Snape,” Sirius said, “Maybe he enjoys getting his leg mangled?”

“If he enjoys it so much I would be more than happy to aid him in the experience,” James said innocently, causing Lily to whack the back of his head.

“James Potter if you do anything of the sort, I will-”

“You’ll what?” James challenged, eyes twinkling mischievously.

“You don’t want to know,” Lily huffed, crossing her arms, causing James’ grin to widen.

“What if I do want to know?” he asked, leaning towards her, and she playfully glared at him.

“You don’t. It’s horrifying.”

“Is it?” James asked, “I’m intrigued.”

“Is this some sort of weird sex game?” Sirius asked loudly, causing the couple’s heads to snap towards him and earning snickers from Remus.

“Let’s just keep reading,” Lily mumbled, her face an attractive shade of red, as James exchanged a wicked smirk with Sirius.

**“And Neville will play Quidditch for England before Hagrid lets Dumbledore down."**

“Because that was so necessary to add,” Lily muttered, the corners of her mouth twitching as the three boys roared with laughter.

“ **Harry nodded, but he couldn't shake off a lurking feeling that there was something he'd forgotten to do, something important.”**

“Is it related to exams? Because I feel that way all the time,” Remus said, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Remus, we are well aware of your swottiness, please don’t advertise it, it’s embarrassing,” he finished, grinning cheekily at his friend.

“Shove off,” Remus mumbled, his cheeks tinged slightly pink.

“Oh leave him alone you two,” Lily said, as Sirius and James snickered, “Why are you so mean to him?”

“Because he’s our best mate,” James explained, “We’re obligated.”

“That’s, that’s-”

“I’d appreciate some words, Evans,” Sirius smirked, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Sirius snickered.

“It’s okay Lily, we can hate them together,” Remus said, and Lily beamed at him.

“You’re my favourite Remus,” she said, and the other two gasped.

“LILY!”

“GINGER-FLOWER!”

“And you wonder why,” she shot back at them teasingly as Remus laughed.

**“When he tried to explain this, Hermione said, "That's just the exams. I woke up last night and was halfway through my Transfiguration notes before I remembered we'd done that one."”**

“Sirius,” Remus warned, upon seeing his friends’ flabbergasted expression

“Moony! Come on! You’re saying I cannot take the mickey out of Lily for that?”

“Excuse you, but why _me_?” she shot back, as James grinned.

“Like you haven’t done that before,” Sirius replied skeptically raising a brow at her, a touch of amusement lining his features.

“I haven’t!” she protested, flushing, “Just because its extremely swotty you’d assume I did it?”

“Oh honey nobody’s assuming,” James chuckled, and Lily turned to him.

“I beg your pardon?” she asked, and he beamed at her.

“You have my pardon,” he replied cheekily, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus snickered

“Explain,” Lily said, glaring at Remus, who after a few moments sighed.

“Fine.”

“MOONY!”

“Remus don’t,” James warned, “She’ll go mad,” he added, wincing slightly.

“Remus,” Lily said testily, and Remus sighed.

“Swots honour,” he said to his friends, who spluttered, before turning to the smirking Lily, “Nobody was assuming Lil because we’ve caught you at it,” he said.

The moment’s silence following his statement was broken by a shrill “EXCUSE ME?”

“I told you,” James mumbled, leaning as far away from Lily as he could, his eyes sparkling in amusement as he eyed her red face.

“Shush Prongs, I’m enjoying this,” Sirius hissed, beaming as he looked between Lily’s enraged and embarrassed face and Remus’ amused and slightly panicked one.

“EXPLAIN YOURSELF LUPIN!”

“Better be careful mate, she’s last naming you,” Sirius said.

“Trust me, not good,” James added.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed Lil,” Remus said calmly

“I respectfully disagree,” Sirius coughed, and Remus shot him a glare, as did Lily, before continuing.

“It was in fifth year during the O.W.L’s-”

“Oh Merlin-” Lily whimpered, hiding her face.

“-it was around 2am-“

“You have to be joking”

“-and the four of us came in to see you sitting by the fire reviewing your Charms notes-“

“ _So_ embarrassing”

“-it was fun, really, convincing you to stop since Charms had been two days previously-“

“How pathetic,” Lily whined, trying to block out the roaring laughter.

“It’s okay Lil, we already knew you were a swot,” Sirius said cheerfully.

“I love hearing that story,” James chuckled, and Lily glared at him.

“Fuck you,” she huffed, and he smirked at her anger as Remus and Sirius sniggered.

“Your embarrassment is rather endearing,” James said, and Lily glared at him.

**“Harry was quite sure the unsettled feeling didn't have anything to do with work, though.”**

“Oh thank Merlin he hasn’t gone on his mother,” James said, pretending to be relieved.

“For once I have to agree with you,” Lily muttered self-loathingly, “I’m so pathetic.”

“Oh come on Lil,” Remus laughed, “Don’t drown yourself in self-hatred!”

“I’m sure you can add it to your hate for James compartment. I doubt even a little more would cause a change in attitude!” Sirius offered, and James spluttered as Lily’s frown morphed into a laugh.

**“He watched an owl flutter toward the school across the bright blue sky, a note clamped in its mouth.”**

“So wonderfully observant he is,” Sirius said dreamily, “The mind of a poet.”

“We’re back on this rubbish?” Lily whined, causing James and Remus to laugh as Sirius pouted.

“You’re hurting my feelings there, Flower,” Sirius sniffed, and Lily beamed.

“My goal in life, Black,” she sung, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her.

**“Hagrid was the only one who ever sent him letters.”**

“That’s…nice?” James said, frowning, “what’s the point of these random statements?”

“Well maybe if you let the story go on you’d find out,” Lily said shortly, and James smirked at her annoyance.

**“Hagrid would never betray Dumbledore.”**

“Damn straight,” Sirius agreed, and Lily sighed, looking up at him.

“Run while you can,” James stage-whispered to Sirius, who smirked as Lily’s eyes narrowed.

“I have a wand,” Sirius said.

“As do I, Black,” Lily muttered, and Sirius grinned wickedly as the other two chuckled.

**“Hagrid would never tell anyone how to get past Fluffy... never... but - Harry suddenly jumped to his feet.”**

“What did I miss?” Lily asked, and Sirius gaped.

“The great Lily Evans missed something?” he exclaimed, “Merlin! Alert _The Prophet_! Call the Aurors! Something’s wrong!” he yelled, his volume rising with every exclamation. By the end of his yelling, the other two boys were roaring with laughter and Lily was smirking.

“You have some nerve,” Lily laughed, shaking her head, “when you know I’m perfectly capable of annihilating you,” she finished, and Sirius smirked.

“That’s big talk for someone so small, Evans,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“Is that a challenge I sense?” she asked, and Sirius smirked devilishly

“Bring it on love,” he said, rising to his feet.

“Sirius, sit down,” Remus sighed, and Sirius quirked a brow at him, before nodding his head and sitting down.

“Of course, it wouldn’t be wise to kill Lily,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Actually I had you sit for your own benefit,” Remus said, winking at Lily, who giggled.

“MOONY!” Sirius yelled, as James and Remus laughed.

“Well, he has a point mate,” James said, “Remember the awful injuries I sustained?”

“Yes, but you two weren’t secretly in love like Lily and I are now,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, and Lily laughed as James and Remus snorted.

“Of course Sirius,” she chuckled, shaking her head fondly.

“See?” Sirius said proudly, grinning at James, who simply chuckled, “You’re no fun when you don’t get jealous,” Sirius mumbled, and James laughed.

**“"Where're you going?" said Ron sleepily.”**

“So bloody lazy,” Lily laughed.

“See? She said that with affection,” Sirius said, and James chuckled.

“Because that assures me that the two of you are madly in love,” he deadpanned, and Sirius grinned, nodding his head enthusiastically

“Lily, love, he accepted it! We can make our relationship public now!” Sirius exclaimed, and Lily laughed

“You’re a funny one, Black,” she said, smiling, and Sirius beamed.

“See? I’m funny,” Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Yes Sirius. You’re bloody hilarious. Can we move on now?” he asked, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as James and Lily laughed

**“"I've just thought of something," said Harry. He had turned white, “We've got to go and see Hagrid, now."”**

“Wonder what it is…” Lily murmured.

“Has to be important, since he turned white,” Remus agreed, frowning slightly

“The previous sentences don’t give any clues,” Lily huffed, crossing her arms. “How frustrating.”

“Maybe it’s nothing to worry about?” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a look.

“He’s turned white, Sirius”

“You’re very white, maybe the genetics are catching up,” James said cheekily, grinning at Lily, whose lips twitched as she fought off the laughter the other two had succumbed to.

“Yes but I don’t spontaneously turn white,” she argued, “I’m a redhead. I’m always white.”

“So racist,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head.

“Oh shut up Sirius, it’s a statement of fact,” Lily laughed, and he grinned at her.

“No doubt there love, you’re very white.”

“Okay, now since we’re done with that idiocy,” Remus said, looking pointedly at his two friends, who adopted innocent expressions, “I wonder what got him worked up.”

“Well, as Lily said, nothing offers any clues,” Sirius said, and James nodded.

**“"Why?" panted Hermione, hurrying to keep up.”**

“Yes, thank you Hermione, _why_?”

“Sirius, will you shut it, please,” Lily giggled, shaking her head fondly.

**"Don't you think it's a bit odd," said Harry, scrambling up the grassy slope, "that what Hagrid wants more than anything else is a dragon, and a stranger turns up who just happens to have an egg in his pocket. How many people wander around with dragon eggs if it's against wizard law? Lucky they found Hagrid, don't you think? Why didn't I see it before?"**

“So he obviously got Lily’s brains…” Remus said after a few moments of shocked silence.

“That’s all you can say?” Sirius laughed, quirking a brow at Remus.

“How did we not see that?” Lily frowned, leaning her chin on the palm of her hand, “I feel like such an idiot,” she groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

“Then obviously it wasn’t just Lily’s brains,” Sirius smirked, and Remus snickered as James smirked.

“Oh, James is smart, leave him alone,” Lily grumbled, crossing her arms irritably, and James beamed at her

“Thanks ever so much,” James chuckled, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

“But seriously! Why didn’t we see that? It’s ruddy brilliant. It makes sense,” Lily protested, “What do you think?”

“Snape,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a glare.

“I think you shouldn’t jump to conclusions,” James said, shooting Sirius a warning look as he rubbed Lily’s arm comfortingly, “It could be anyone.”

“But what does it mean?” Lily asked, and Remus shrugged.

“I have no bleeding idea. Then again, I couldn’t even figure out what your future eleven year old could,” Remus grumbled, and a grin flashed across Lily’s face.

“There’s your smile,” James smiled, nudging her shoulder.

“Figures Harry would end up a genius,” Sirius chuckled, “given his parentage”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Lily grinned, placing her hand over her heart.

“You think I’m a genius?” James sniffed, “Oh _Padfoot!_ ”

“I love you too,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly.

“What have I gotten myself into?” Lily asked Remus, who chuckled and shook his head.

“I’m surprised by how unaffected all of you are,” Remus said, looking between the three of them, “I expected gasps and exclamations.”

“We can do that,” James said, clearing his throat, and the others laughed.

“I think it’s the surprise,” Lily giggled.

“Well, you know, maybe some people just enjoy carrying dragon eggs in their pockets,” Sirius shrugged, “a new trend maybe?”

“Are we back on this trend nonsense?” Lily sighed exasperatedly, and James and Remus sniggered, “Are we going to make our way down to Gladrags to check?” she asked, and Sirius smirked.

“You’re a funny one, Evans,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly, leaning onto James.

**“"What are you talking about?" said Ron, but Harry, sprinting across the grounds toward the forest, didn't answer.”**

“Kind of difficult to answer when you’re sprinting,” Sirius agreed, “Unless you’re James, of course, stupid exercising person,” he added, causing James to grin. Lily snorted.

“Do you have to interrupt with the stupidest things?” she asked, grinning, and Sirius winked at her.

“Anything to see you flush that irritated red, dear,” he said, and she shook her head, grinning, looking back down into her lap.

**“Hagrid was sitting in an armchair outside his house; his trousers and sleeves were rolled up, and he was shelling peas into a large bowl.**

**"Hullo," he said, smiling. "Finished yer exams? Got time fer a drink?"”**

“That sounds so pleasant,” Lily giggled, “Oddly normal after all the freaking out,” she added, and James snorted.

“You’re talking like you’re drunk,” he chuckled, kissing her on the side of the head.

“I love drunk Lily!” Sirius exclaimed happily

“Have you met drunk Lily?” Lily asked, quirking a brow, and James snickered, “Oh no, what?” she whimpered, looking between the three boys, and James hid a smile in her hair.

“I enjoyed your birthday party last year, Evans,” Sirius threw out casually, and Lily groaned as the three boys laughed.

“You came?” she whined, looking at James, who winked.

“I wouldn’t miss your birthday party!”

“I’d been drinking,” she sighed, nodding her head as if admitting a crime.

“Oh we know,” Remus smirked, “I don’t think sober people attempt to-”

“Don’t tell her,” James warned, and Remus sighed.

“No! Tell me!” Lily said, and James shook his head.

“Trust me Lil, you do not want to know.”

“Really Lil, grinding against James is nothing special,” Sirius said, and Lily’s jaw dropped as the three boys sniggered.

“Oh Merlin. How pathetic,” she whined, and James spluttered.

“I’ll have you know, I’m a real catch,” he said, grinning cheekily, and she glared at him as the other two continued snickering.

**“"Yes, please," said Ron, but Harry cut him off.”**

“Harry Potter, do not be rude,” Sirius huffed, his voice high pitched.

“Is that supposed to be me?” Lily asked, and Sirius grinned.

**“"No, we're in a hurry. Hagrid, I've got to ask you something. You know that night you won Norbert? What did the stranger you were playing cards with look like?"**

**"Dunno," said Hagrid casually, "he wouldn' take his cloak off."”**

The four of them sat in silence, looking at each other, slightly shocked.

“And he didn’t find that suspicious?” Lily asked icily, eyebrow quirked.

“Pretty stupid,” Sirius agreed, nodding his head, and James sniggered.

“That’s the first time I’ve heard you say something mean about Hagrid,” he said, and Sirius smirked, rolling his eyes.

“In Sirius’ defense, it’s pretty stupid,” Lily nodded, and James chuckled.

“Who would be under the cloak though?” Remus huffed irritably, “I hate not being able to figure things out,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“Sirius seems to believe its Snape,” she said, and then sighed, “and to be honest I think he may be right,” she said.

“He won Norbert in a card game?” James asked, “Any chance he was drunk?” he asked, and Lily shrugged

“What difference would that make?”

“Well, people can spill things when they’re drunk,” James said, “what if he let something slip?”

“What could he have let slip?” Sirius asked, “If it is Snape, he couldn’t have asked about how to get past Fluffy because he almost got his leg ripped off,” Sirius reasoned, and James nodded.

“I don’t know, it was just a hunch,” he shrugged, and Lily shook her head.

“I think you’re on to something,” she said, “We’re just missing something,” she said, frustrated.

“We’ll figure it out, don’t worry,” James sighed.

“Or, you know, Harry will. He’s obviously the smartest,” Remus said, and both Lily and James sniggered.

**“He saw the three of them look stunned and raised his eyebrows.”**

“How could he not have pieced that together?” Sirius asked, and Remus smiled.

“You’ll have to excuse Sirius,” he said to Lily, “he tends to go insane when he loses trust in some people,” he said, and Lily smiled slightly.

“Don’t be so hard on him,” she said to Sirius, “he’s still Hagrid, he just did something stupid,” she said, and James beamed.

“Look at you two, bonding,” he said happily, and the two rolled their eyes.

“I told you, it’s the secret love,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted.

“Obviously,” she said sarcastically, grinning at James, who grinned back and dropped a kiss on her nose.

**“"It's not that unusual, yeh get a lot o' funny folk in the Hog's Head - that's the pub down in the village. Mighta bin a dragon dealer, mightn' he? I never saw his face, he kept his hood up."”**

“Okay I agree with him,” Lily said, “it couldn’t have been too suspicious if everyone wears cloaks”

“How would you know about the people who come into the Hogs Head?” James asked, amused.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me James Potter,” she said, grinning up at him.

“You two make me feel so lonely,” Sirius pouted, and the two of them laughed.

“I second that,” Remus chuckled, smiling at the couple.

“I can make you not lonely!” Sirius exclaimed, and Remus snorted.

“I’d rather watch the grossly happy couple,” he said, nodding towards Lily and James, who grinned at him.

**“Harry sank down next to the bowl of peas. "What did you talk to him about, Hagrid? Did you mention Hogwarts at all?"**

**"Mighta come up," said Hagrid, frowning as he tried to remember.”**

“Yeah you were right,” Lily huffed, and the boys quirked their brows at her, “he was drunk,” she said to James, who laughed.

“Because of the stupidity or because of his lacking memory?” he asked, and she smirked.

“Both.”

“I thought Hagrid was smarter than that,” Sirius whined, and Lily glared at him.

“What did I say about mistakes a few interruptions ago?” she asked, and the boys burst out laughing.

“A few interruptions ago?” Remus sniggered, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“How else do I measure these things?” she asked, and Remus smirked.

“This may be a wild idea, but you could use time,” he said, and Lily flushed slightly as the others snickered.

**“"Yeah... he asked what I did, an' I told him I was gamekeeper here...  He asked a bit about the sorta creatures I took after... so I told him... an' I said what I'd always really wanted was a dragon... an' then... I can' remember too well, 'cause he kept buyin' me drinks....  Let's see... yeah, then he said he had the dragon egg an' we could play cards fer it if I wanted... but he had ter be sure I could handle it, he didn' want it ter go ter any old home.... So I told him, after Fluffy, a dragon would be easy..."”**

“Oh my goodness,” Lily chuckled.

“How can you find this funny?” James asked, eyebrows quirked.

“It’s morbid humour,” Lily retorted cheekily, and James chuckled

“Well I can see how this would be morbidly hilarious,” he agreed, throwing his arm around her shoulders, “I mean, at this rate Hagrid would have told him just how to get by the damn dog,” he said, and Lily frowned.

“But that directly contradicts the possibility that Snape’s under the cloak!” she whined, and Remus frowned.

“I thought you were still hoping Snape wasn’t the bad guy?” he asked, and Lily sighed.

“Seems kind of silly to ignore that very likely possibility,” she said, and Sirius nodded.

“Of course, it’s illogical, and you couldn’t possibly do that,” he teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“You’re a horrible comforter,” she grumbled, and Sirius clutched his chest.

“But I’m so soft!” he said, and James groaned as Remus and Lily frowned.

“I don’t get it,” Lily said, as Remus quirked a brow at Sirius.

“Double entendre,” James mumbled, and the others groaned as Sirius sniggered evilly.

**““And did he - did he seem interested in Fluffy?" Harry asked, trying to keep his voice calm.”**

“No because three-headed dogs are so common,” Sirius quipped, rolling his eyes amusedly, “Could he have asked a stupider question?”

“Oi, watch it,” Lily said, “he’s leading up to something”

“Sorry Harry’s mum,” Sirius mumbled, and Lily smirked as James and Remus laughed.

**“"Well - yeah - how many three-headed dogs d'yeh meet, even around Hogwarts?”**

Sirius threw Lily an I-told-you-so look, earning him a glare in response.

“You two have the funniest relationship,” Remus chuckled, and Sirius smirked.

“Relationship?” he said hopefully, and James snorted.

“Friendship,” he said, and Sirius pouted as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Ouch mate, that’s somewhere no bloke wants to be,” Remus said sympathetically, and Sirius pouted.

“I’ll be stuck here forever,” Sirius sighed, wiping away a fake tear.

“You’re like a brother to me,” Lily added, snickering as Sirius clutched his heart in mock pain.

“Now you’re guaranteed a room in the friendzone,” James chuckled.

“Room with a view please?” Sirius asked, and James rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“So I told him, Fluffy's a piece o' cake if yeh know how to calm him down, jus' play him a bit o' music an' he'll go straight off ter sleep -" Hagrid suddenly looked horrified.”**

“Probably wasn’t the right thing to tell the overtly adventurous and daring eleven year olds,” Lily said, looking half-amused and half-irritated.

“Of course it was the right thing!” James said excitedly, “Now they’ll go down the trapdoor!”

“But I don’t want them to go down the trapdoor!” Lily hissed, and James snorted, rolling his eyes

“Kind of a waste of wanting isn’t it love? Considering the chapter’s called ‘Through the Trapdoor’ and all,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“A girl can dream.”

“Not when the bubble’s already been popped,” James concluded, and Lily glared at him as his friends sniggered.

“It’s called faith,” she said, and he snorted

“It’s called idiocy,” he corrected, and Lily gasped as Sirius and Remus howled with laughter.

“Shove off, you prick,” she grumbled, squirming out from under his arm, causing him to grin.

“Aw Lils, don’t be like that,” he laughed, replacing his arm around her shoulders and pulling her towards him.

“Arse,” she huffed.

“Swot,” he shot back, and she giggled, leaning into him

“At least life won’t get boring,” Sirius sighed, chuckling at the scene that had played out in front of him.

“Amen,” Remus agreed, flipping the page.

**“"I shouldn'ta told yeh that!" he blurted out. "Forget I said it! Hey - where're yeh goin'?"”**

“See? Now _that_ is a stupid question,” Sirius said, and the others laughed in agreement.

“You don’t think they would go down at that hour, do you?” Lily asked, slightly panicked, “Because there are people everywhere and they could get in a lot of trouble.”

“Is that how a swots mind works?” James asked, and Lily whacked him in the chest as the other two snickered.

“No, it’s how a mother’s mind works,” Remus said, and Lily flushed slightly, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge the statement.

“See? She didn’t deny it!” Sirius said, and James chuckled.

“I suppose the paranoia sets in after you have a child,” he agreed, and Lily huffed.

“I have not had a child _yet_ , you weasels,” she said, and the three boys sniggered, “Now shut up and read.”

“Oh Lily, our life wasn’t complete without you,” Sirius said, and she stuck her tongue out at him as the other two chuckled.

**“Harry, Ron, and Hermione didn't speak to each other at all until they came to a halt in the entrance hall, which seemed very cold and gloomy after the grounds.”**

“Probably because it’s always cold and gloomy,” Sirius said.

“Not to mention how warm and sunshiny the grounds are,” James added.

“Or maybe it’s because that’s the entrance to school,” Sirius suggested, and James stroked his chin thoughtfully.

“Well hypothesized my friend.”

“Shut _up_ ,” Lily chortled, gesturing for Remus to continue as James and Sirius sniggered.

**“"We've got to go to Dumbledore," said Harry. "Hagrid told that stranger how to get past Fluffy, and it was either Snape or Voldemort under that cloak - it must've been easy, once he'd got Hagrid drunk. I just hope Dumbledore believes us. Firenze might back us up if Bane doesn't stop him. Where's Dumbledore's office?"”**

“Oh look at Mr. Man over here,” Sirius snorted, causing the other three to raise their eyebrows at him, “addressing the centaurs by their first names,” he continued, waving jazz-hands all over the place.

“Because that’s what the cool kids do these days,” Lily deadpanned, rolling her eyes at Sirius as James and Remus laughed.

“I kid you not love, we all do it,” Sirius smirked, and Lily shook her head amusedly.

“Remember those days when you didn’t know where Dumbledore’s office was?” James sighed wistfully, earning a shove from Lily and snickers from his fellow Marauders.

“Oh innocence,” Sirius sniffled, “Wherefore have thy gone?”

“Oh shut up Sirius, you were never innocent,” Lily snorted, and Sirius smirked wickedly as the other two snickered.

“That is true Lils,” he winked, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“At least Harry got the whole ‘Dumbledore will believe us’ thing right,” Remus chuckled, attempting to divert the conversation from his friends’ dirty intent.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lily asked Sirius, acting as if Remus had never spoken.

“Because it’s Dumbledore…he’ll always believe you,” Remus continued, smiling to himself as James chuckled, watching Lily and Sirius expectantly, waiting for them to acknowledge Remus’ conversation.

“Why ever would you assume I was suggesting a double meaning?” Sirius asked Lily, grinning wickedly.

“That’s why I love Dumbledore, wouldn’t you agree James?” Remus continued, and James sniggered

“Oh _please_ Sirius”

“Sex,” Remus said, and the two stopped their conversation abruptly to shoot him confused looks as James burst out laughing.

“What?” Sirius asked, and Lily snorted

“Of course _you_ would hear that,” she said, and James quirked a teasing brow at her.

“Didn’t you hear the same thing?” he asked, and she flushed, narrowing her eyes at him as he smirked at her.

“So are we going to go with Voldemort under the cloak?” Lily asked, causing the three boys to smirk but otherwise move on with the conversation.

“But it’s impossible…” Remus said, shaking his head, “I mean, he’s dead!”

“Maybe he stayed alive somehow?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head.

“There hasn’t been a person in history to survive the Avada Kedavra,” she said, and James frowned.

“Harry did,” he said, and the four of them frowned at each other before turning back to the book, seeking answers to their numerous questions.

**“They looked around, as if hoping to see a sign pointing them in the right direction. They had never been told where Dumbledore lived, nor did they know anyone who had been sent to see him.”**

“Those poor unfortunate souls,” Sirius sniffed, “We’d already been to Dumbledore’s office before first year ended!”

“Multiple times,” Remus agreed, and Lily laughed.

“How did I wind up with you lot?” she asked, looking at the three boys in turn, all of whom grinned proudly

“What can we say Lil? You’re a lucky bird,” James said, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Potter,” she said, and James grinned as she leaned into his side.

“The school really should have signs pointing you to all the rooms,” Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Neon ones with sparkling lights?” he deadpanned, and Sirius nodded enthusiastically as James and Lily laughed.

**“"We'll just have to -" Harry began, but a voice suddenly rang across the hall.”**

“Snape!” Lily squeaked, and James shook his head

“McGonagall,” he corrected, and the other two boys groaned in agreement.

“How could you possibly know that?” she asked, exasperatedly, and James grinned

“Because dear McGonagall has a knack for turning up when people are plotting,” he said, and the other two boys snickered.

“Always,” Remus agreed, and Lily groaned.

“Well this should be fun.”

**“"What are you three doing inside?" It was Professor McGonagall, carrying a large pile of books.”**

“I’m sorry, but is that illegal now?” Lily asked, and the boys guffawed.

“I never thought I’d hear the day when Lily Evans backsassed a teacher,” James sniffed, wiping away an imaginary tear, “I’m so proud.”

“She cant hear me, it’s different,” Lily said, and James shook his head sadly

“You’re missing out on life, Lil.”

“I’d be wasting life in detention if I _did_ backsass,” she quipped, and James chuckled, but nodded in agreement.

“But detentions a load of fun! Especially when you have us!” Sirius said, and Lily chuckled

“But that’s a lie isn’t it? Lily backtalks Slughorn all the time,” Remus said, and James snorted

“That’s flirtatious backtalking,” he said, and Lily quirked a brow at him.

“Jealous?” she teased, and he grinned at her as Sirius and Remus sniggered

“Always.”

**“"We want to see Professor Dumbledore," said Hermione, rather bravely, Harry and Ron thought.”**

“I have to agree with them, that’s very brave,” Sirius said solemnly

“Wonder if she’ll make it out alive,” James mused, and Lily whacked him affectionately as the other two chuckled.

**“"See Professor Dumbledore?" Professor McGonagall repeated, as though this was a very fishy thing to want to do, “Why?"”**

“In her defense, first years wanting to see Dumbledore is indeed very fishy,” Lily said, and James groaned.

“Oh Merlin, I’m dating McGonagall,” he whined, and Lily shrieked in indignation as the other two howled with laughter.

“You absolute _arse_ ,” she laughed, punctuating every word with a blow to James’ torso

“Woman!” James squeaked, grabbing each of her tiny fists in his hands effortlessly, “Would you not maim me?”

“I have no use for you,” she huffed, and he grinned and shot forward, dropping a kiss on her nose.

“Whatever you say Lil,” he grinned, sitting back, keeping one of her hands in his.

“Remus I need a girlfriend,” Sirius said, and Remus laughed

**“Harry swallowed -- now what?”**

“Run for your lives,” Sirius suggested.

“Lie,” James snorted, and Sirius nodded.

“That’s the right way, ignore me,” he said, and Lily shook her head in exasperation.

“You two would teach him all the wrong things,” she groaned, and Remus sniggered.

**“"It's sort of secret," he said, but he wished at once he hadn't, because Professor McGonagall's nostrils flared.”**

“Idiot,” Sirius sneered, slamming his palm to his forehead.

“Even I know that’s the stupidest thing to say,” Lily said, and Remus smirked.

“You calling yourself an amateur?” he teased, and Lily stuck her chin out as James and Sirius snickered.

“When it comes to troublemaking? Yes,” she said

“Don’t worry Lil. A couple of months and you’ll be a well experienced Marauder,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other three sniggered.

“Sounds…intriguing,” she said, earning chuckles from the boys, “But I highly doubt there’s enough space under your invisibility cloak for a fifth person,” she shrugged, and the boys sighed.

“Alas, that is a problem,” Sirius said, “you could always be our spotter!”

“Tempting…but no thanks, I’ll stick to being clueless about your delinquencies,” she said, and James snorted.

“Delinquencies?” he laughed.

“Delinquencies,” she nodded, fighting off a smile as the boys laughed.

**“"Professor Dumbledore left ten minutes ago," she said coldly. "He received an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic and flew off for London at once."”**

“Why is she saying it coldly? That’s not very teacherly,” Sirius huffed, and Remus sniggered.

“Probably because she remembers James,” he said, and James pouted.

“My poor children. They’ll never get to make mischief,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Praise the lord,” she said, and James stuck his tongue out at her.

“Hold it,” Remus said, “Dumbledore’s gone?”

“Shit,” Sirius mumbled, “What now?”

“Well they have to do something,” James said, and Lily squeaked.

“But they’re eleven!”

“Only five years younger than us,” Sirius said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

“That’s not the point! They don’t know any magic!”

“They’ll know enough, I suppose,” James shrugged, and Lily groaned.

**““He's gone?" said Harry frantically. "Now?"”**

“Weren’t you listening?” Sirius laughed, and Lily rolled her eyes

“It’s _rhetorical_ ”

“It _was a joke_ ,” he shot back, and she fought off a smile as James and Remus sniggered.

**“"Professor Dumbledore is a very great wizard, Potter, he has many demands on his time -- "**

**“But this is important!"**

“Because whatever the Ministry of Magic has to summon him for isn’t?” Lily laughed, and James snorted

“Of course not. The Ministry’s rubbish,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly as Sirius and Remus murmured their agreement.

“What’s with men and criticizing politics?” she asked, and Remus smirked.

“What’s with women and criticizing men?”

“Oh shove off Remus,” Lily grumbled as James and Sirius laughed, reaching over to hi-five their friend.

**“"Something you have to say is more important than the Ministry of Magic, Potter?””**

“Obviously,” James said, and Sirius guffawed.

“You repeating your conversation from second year?” he teased, and James flushed.

“Don’t tell me you shot that back at McGonagall?” Lily gasped, and James smirked.

“Fine then I wont tell you.”

“James Potter what is wrong with you?” Lily laughed, shoving him lightly.

“She kept questioning me!” he protested, “I felt like I was under interrogation!”

“Probably because you were,” Remus sniggered, “I distinctly remember her interrogating you about a prank.”

“She’d asked me if I knew there was pudding on the walls of the Great Hall!” James protested, “What was I supposed to say?”

“It was probably rhetorical, you moron,” Lily laughed, and James stuck his tongue out at her as his friends laughed.

**“"Look," said Harry, throwing caution to the winds, "Professor -- it's about the Sorcerer's stone --"”**

“Bad move,” Remus sighed, shaking his head as he turned the page.

“Now she’s going to be so suspicious of them,” Lily sighed, and James shrugged

“Makes it all more exciting, doesn’t it?”

“You’re an idiot James,” Lily answered, kissing his cheek as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

**“Whatever Professor McGonagall had expected, it wasn't that. The books she was carrying tumbled out of her arms, but she didn't pick them up.”**

“Not the books!” Sirius gasped dramatically, causing the other three to laugh.

“Oh the horror,” Lily snorted, shaking her head amusedly.

“What does it feel like, hearing of your gods tumbling disrespectfully to the ground like that?” Sirius asked Lily, who rolled her eyes but all the same placed her hand on her heart and sniffed.

“It breaks my heart,” she said, and Sirius bowed his head faux-solemnly as James and Remus laughed.

**“"How do you know --?" she spluttered.**

**"Professor, I think -- I know -- that Sn- that someone's going to try and steal the Stone. I've got to talk to Professor Dumbledore!" She eyed him with a mixture of shock and suspicion.””**

“They do say honesty is the best policy,” Lily suggested meekly, and the three boys snorted in unison

“Yes but this could get him in an awful lot of trouble,” James said, “and yes while that’s not credible coming from me,” he continued, in response to her skeptical expression, “but there’s a limit to how much trouble you should get in. This is serious trouble…not Marauder trouble.”

“James is right, Lil,” Remus said, “He’s talking about a top secret issue,” he continued, “McGonagall could call into question not only how he found out but his intentions as well.”

“Particularly after the almost slip of Snape’s name,” Sirius continued, “Because of his hateful relationship with him, McGonagall could assume Harry’s trying to get Snape fired and steal the stone for himself.”

“But Harry wouldn’t!” Lily protested, and Sirius shrugged.

“He’s a little out of his league here.”

“At least he let a higher power know though,” she squeaked, looking for a silver lining amidst the frightening revelations, “It’s always good to let someone in a position of power know!”

“That is true,” James agreed, rubbing her arm soothingly, “McGonagall will get it checked out, but Harry’s still in a bit of a pickle here.”

“Not just him, Ron and Hermione too,” Remus said, and James nodded.

“I hate this school,” Lily grumbled, and the boys laughed.

**“"Professor Dumbledore will be back tomorrow," she said finally. “I don't know how you found out about the Stone, but rest assured, no one can possibly steal it, it's too well protected."”**

“Dogmatic, much?” Sirius sung, and the others burst out laughing.

“I wonder what the protections are like,” Lily said, a spark in her eyes

“Getting excited by the possibility of learning?” Sirius teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Remus laughed.

**“"But Professor --"**

**"Potter, I know what I'm talking about," she said shortly. She bent down and gathered up the fallen books. “I suggest you all go back outside and enjoy the sunshine."”**

“Because sunshine makes everything better,” Remus deadpanned, and the others chuckled.

“I have heard that phrase too many times,” James said, “More than enough to predict what’s going to happen next.”

“They’re going down the trapdoor,” Lily sighed in defeat, and James nodded, fighting off a grin.

“I’m so excited.”

“Think of it this way Lil! You get to learn about those enchantments!” Sirius teased, and she rolled her eyes

“Not to mention the fact that the book gods have been removed from their disrespectful position on the floor,” James added, and Lily shot him an exasperated look as he grinned down at her.

“You’re all super annoying,” she huffed

“Thanks,” they said in unison, before looking at each other and howling with laughter.

**“But they didn't.”**

“And now the story really starts,” Sirius said, clapping his hands in anticipation

“Because the last 15 chapters have just been the prologue” Lily snorted, sarcasm dripping off her statement, and the boys laughed.

**“"It's tonight," said Harry, once he was sure Professor McGonagall was out of earshot. "Snape's going through the trapdoor tonight. He's found out everything he needs, and now he's got Dumbledore out of the way. He sent that note, I bet the Ministry of Magic will get a real shock when Dumbledore turns up."”**

“That would be a fun scene though, wouldn’t it?” Sirius laughed.

“Does this mean it was Snape under the cloak at the Hogs Head?” James asked, and Lily shrugged

“I think we’re going with that.”

“But he got bitten!” Remus protested, and Lily sighed

“I don’t know! It has to be him though doesn’t it?” she asked, “I mean, Voldemort’s dead. He’s the only candidate,” she finished, and Remus sighed.

“Maybe he just fell over and got bitten,” Sirius suggested, and the others snorted in amusement.

“Bad time to be clumsy, eh?” James laughed.

“Maybe some of his hair grease fell on the floor and he slipped,” Sirius sneered, and Lily shook her head fondly as the three boys sniggered.

**“"But what can we --" Hermione gasped. Harry and Ron wheeled round. Snape was standing there.”**

“How is it you can never hear him approach?” Remus asked, half-amused and half-exasperated.

“It’s his bat like hair and wings,” James said, eyebrows flying up in surprise as Lily giggled.

“He does resemble a bat, doesn’t he?” she giggled, shaking her head amusedly.

“What’s with the laughter?” Remus asked, causing her to sober.

“Well I’m anticipating a rather displeasing scene with Snape in it, so I might as well enjoy the mental image of Harry Ron and Hermione standing in front of an overgrown bat,” she said, causing the boys to burst out laughing.

“She’s right, I’m going to enjoy this scene much more now,” Remus chuckled, turning back to the book.

**“"Good afternoon," he said smoothly.””**

“Die,” James said, and the others burst out laughing.

“Because that’s the appropriate response to an evil bat saying good afternoon,” Sirius said, and James winked at him.

**“They stared at him.”**

“Very inconspicuous. Well done,” Remus drawled, rolling his eyes.

“It must be the grease,” Sirius said knowingly, “It’s shining off his head and they can’t stop staring.”

“Of course, they’re enraptured by the light shining,” Lily laughed, “You’re all insane, this book would be no fun without you lot,” she said, and the three boys adopted affectionate smiles in response to her honesty.

“We love you too Lils,” Sirius said, and Lily smiled.

**“"You shouldn't be inside on a day like this," he said, with an odd, twisted smile.”**

“It can smile?” Sirius gasped.

“What’s with all the teachers at Hogwarts attempting to shove students under the blazing hot sun?” James asked, bewildered.

“They want to cook us and eat us, obviously,” Lily responded.

“Then they’d be full, and they wouldn’t have to teach anyone,” Remus agreed

“So this is why they always get mad when we’re in on sunny days,” Sirius huffed.

“I dare you to accuse McGonagall of it,” James sniggered, and Sirius winked.

“I will my friend.”

“Doesn’t cancel out he usual punishment though,” James said, and Sirius swore.

“What is this usual punishment? You still haven’t told me!” Lily said, and James winked.

“You’ll see tonight.”

 _“Tonight?_ Are you bloody mad? It’s freezing!” Sirius whined, and James smirked.

“We made Moony do it out in the grounds during Christmas last year,” he said, and Remus winced.

“Yes, this is fair,” Remus said, and Sirius glared at his friends.

“What did you make Remus do?” Lily asked, and James chuckled.

“You’ll understand the torture behind it after you see it tonight,” he said, and Sirius paled.

“She can’t watch!”

“She won’t see everything,” James promised, and Sirius rolled his eyes

“Why? Scared she’ll ditch you?”

“Not at all,” James winked, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him.

“I’m lost,” Lily said, and Remus shook his head, looking slightly embarrassed.

“You’re lucky you don’t know what they’re talking about right now. You’d be red,” he said, and Lily nodded her head, frowning slightly.

**“"We were --" Harry began, without any idea what he was going to say.**

**"You want to be more careful," said Snape. "Hanging around like this, people will think you're up to something. And Gryffindor really can't afford to lose any more points, can it?"”**

“Uncalled for, snobby arse,” James grumbled.

“Up to something, eh?” Sirius asked, eyebrows raised accusingly

“Don’t worry about it Sirius, he’s projecting his problems,” Lily said knowingly, and the boys snickered.

**“Harry flushed.”**

“Oh hello Lily’s genetics!” Sirius waved, and Lily flushed as James and Remus laughed.

“How embarrassing. My son flushes,” James grumbled.

“Well, mate, it’s your own fault for falling for a redhead,” Sirius said, and James flushed as Remus laughed.

“And in my defense, you’re flushing as well,” Lily said, poking James’ cheek accusingly, “So shut up.”

“Yes ma’am,” James chuckled, puling her closer to his side.

**“They turned to go outside, but Snape called them back. "Be warned, Potter - any more nighttime wanderings and I will personally make sure you are expelled. Good day to you."”**

“Oh yes, what a wonderful parting note,” Lily snorted.

“He’s not scared of you, limpy!” Sirius yelled.

“Sirius, why must you yell? You do know it’s pointless, right?” Lily asked exasperatedly.

“It adds dramatic effect,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James sniggered

“You two know you’re not on a stage right?” she said, and the two gasped in unison

“We’re not?” James cried, “Oh say it isn’t so!”

“Look what you did Lily,” Remus teased, and Lily laughed.

**“He strode off in the direction of the staff room.  Out on the stone steps, Harry turned to the others.**

**"Right, here's what we've got to do," he whispered urgently. "One of us has got to keep an eye on Snape - wait outside the staff room and follow him if he leaves it. Hermione, you'd better do that."**

**"Why me?"””**

“Because you’re the swot, obviously,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed.

“In some parallel universe, Sirius, you’re a swot, so be nice,” she said, and both Remus and James roared with laughter as Sirius looked at Lily with a bemused smile

“Where do you come up with these things from?” he asked, and Lily shrugged, cheeks tinged pink.

“Must be the Muggle in her,” James said, and Sirius nodded in agreement as Lily rolled her eyes amusedly and Remus chuckled.

**“"It's obvious," said Ron. "You can pretend to be waiting for Professor Flitwick, you know?" He put on a high voice, "'Oh Professor Flitwick, I'm so worried, I think I got question fourteen b wrong...'"”**

“See? He’s brilliant,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Stop indirectly attempting to compliment yourself Sirius, you said something similar not a minute ago,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus laughed.

“Damn, you caught me,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“There’s a reason people call me brilliant,” she said, and Remus laughed.

“Who’s complimenting themselves now?” he teased, and Lily smirked.

“Well I never did it indirectly. This is okay,” she said, causing all three boys to laugh.

“She’s insane,” Sirius said to James, “Don’t’ lose her.”

“I’ll try,” James chuckled, wrapping his arm more securely around Lily.

**“"Oh, shut up," said Hermione, but she agreed to go and watch out for Snape.”**

“Hey! That’s just like you Moony!” Sirius exclaimed, grinning at Remus, “get irritable when we call you a swot but follow the swotty plan anyway!”

“It’s the female Remus!” James exclaimed, just as enthusiastically, taking pleasure out of his friend’s embarrassment.

“The Shemus,” Lily giggled, and both James and Sirius gasped in wonder as Remus shot Lily a dirty look.

“TO SHEMUS!” James and Sirius bellowed in unison, raising imaginary champagne glasses.

“Lily I will hate you for this forever,” Remus said, and Lily winked.

**“"And we'd better stay outside the third-floor corridor," Harry told Ron, "Come on."”**

“Oh Merlin, they’re going to get caught, aren’t they?” Lily sighed, and the boys nodded solemnly

“And knowing their luck, it’ll be by McGonagall,” James said

“Who will go ballistic,” Sirius added, and the four of them groaned in unison.

“What a stupid place to stake out,” James grumbled, “Stay on the corridor opposite so you can watch from a distance!”

“And wont get hurt when whoever the evil person is tries to get by,” Lily added.

“So does the paranoia of motherhood set in as soon as the child is alive?” Sirius asked Lily, whose lips twisted into a smile as Remus and James laughed.

“They’re not that smart yet,” Remus chuckled, smiling slightly.

“Don’t worry, they’ll forever stake out the opposite corridor after this,” James said.

“Oh boy, troublemaking _improvement_ ,” Lily deadpanned, causing the three boys to laugh.

**“But that part of the plan didn't work.”**

“As we suspected,” Sirius said.

“You lot just have too much experience being idiots,” Lily said

“While that is true,” Remus said, “You must admit, we never get caught,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“I don’t know if I should be glad Harry wont be getting caught in the future, or irritated that you lot never get caught,” she said, and James grinned.

**“No sooner had they reached the door separating Fluffy from the rest of the school than Professor McGonagall turned up again and this time, she lost her temper.”**

“I told you,” Sirius snickered.

“Then again you can’t really blame her for getting irritated,” Lily said, earning her skeptical glances from the rest of the boys, “I mean, they’re only first years. What damage could they do to an intruder that would hinder them from getting the stone that protective enchantments couldn’t?” she asked, and the boys shrugged

“But they’re striving for what they believe in,” James pointed out, and Lily shook her head.

“I’m not saying I’m on McGonagall’s side,” she said, lips turning up at the edges as Sirius laughed the word ‘miracle’, “I’m just saying I can see where she’s coming from.”

“Of course you can mini-Minerva,” Sirius said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Remus laughed.

“In Lily’s defense, I can see her side as well,” Remus said, and James rolled his eyes

“We already know you’re a swot Remus, don’t worry,” James winked, and Remus flushed slightly

“It’s another Shemus!” Sirius exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with mirth, causing James and Lily to burst out laughing.

‘Don’t ever say that word again,” Remus grumbled, turning the page rather violently as his friends continued to laugh at him.

**“"I suppose you think you're harder to get past than a pack of enchantments!" she stormed. "Enough of this nonsense! If I hear you've come anywhere near here again, I'll take another fifty points from Gryffindor! Yes, Weasley, from my own house!"”**

“Wow that’s a tad harsh, don’t you think?” Sirius asked, and Lily shot him a dirty look as James and Remus rolled their eyes.

“I don’t think points would matter to them much when they’re dead,” Lily said bluntly, and Sirius smirked.

“If you want to die, you should die with honour,” he quipped, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“Because having more points than the Slytherins is honorable, right?”

“Obviously,” Sirius said, “Of course, you wouldn’t understand Muggle,” he added after Lily snorted.

“Oh shut up Outcast,” Lily grumbled, and Sirius pouted as Remus snickered.

“I never thought I’d see the day when you two would get along,” he sighed, and James rolled his eyes

“You think _that_ is getting along?” he asked skeptically, and Lily grinned at him.

“I’d expect you to have said that about James and I,” she said, and Remus smirked.

“I’m still half convinced this is one crazy dream,” he said, and James gasped.

“I’m in your dreams Moony?” he sniffed, and Remus shook his head amusedly as Sirius, sniggering, leaned over to clap James on the shoulder.

**“Harry and Ron went back to the common room, Harry had just said, "At least Hermione's on Snape's tail," when the portrait of the Fat Lady swung open and Hermione came in.”**

“Hermione! I thought you were smart enough to show him up!” Sirius gasped, looking insulted that Hermione had been unable to remain on Snapes tail without being outsmarted.

“Hopefully she’s okay,” Lily said, and James rolled his eyes

“All she could have gotten was a detention, and if anything, that would be good for her,” he said, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“You don’t understand here like I do,” she said, dramatically placing her hand on her chest, “We Gryffindor know-it-alls defend each other’s honour,” she said, causing Remus and Sirius to snigger as James grinned down at her.

“So no detentions means you have honour,” James stated, and Lily nodded her head.

“Much more so than having more points than the Slytherins,” she said, looking pointedly at Sirius.

“Oi! It’s honorable for _me_ , considering that means I’m beating my whole family,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Stop trying to win arguments with your sad, pathetic life story,” she teased, grinning playfully at Sirius, who pouted as James and Remus laughed, surprised that Sirius hadn’t taken offence to that as he would have, had it been one of the Marauders.

“Well, Lil, if you were a bloke I’d punch you, but since you’re a beautiful fair maiden who is desperately in love with me, I’ll let it go,” he said, and Lily smirked at him as James stuck his tongue out at Sirius.

“As long as I don’t get punched, you can think what you want to think,” she said, and Sirius grinned.

“Oi! Prongs! Lily’s desperately in love with me, how does that make you feel?” he preened, and James rolled his eyes as Lily giggled and pushed herself up to place a light kiss on his chin, “In front of me?” Sirius gasped, glaring at Lily, who shook her head fondly.

“Our love is forbidden Sirius,” she reminded him, and he sighed, nodding his head.

“Alas, c’est la vie,” he said solemnly, and Remus snorted.

“I cannot believe you’ve actually turned into one of them,” he said to Lily, who flushed as James and Sirius beamed.

“I have not!” she protested weakly, and he gave her an amused smile.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Lil,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the other two laughed.

“You’ve ruined me,” Lily whined, nudging James, her eyes glinting playfully.

“Then I guess I’ll have to break up with you. Nobody wants broken goods,” he said matter-of-factly. Lily gasped as Remus and Sirius roared with laughter.

“You absolute pig, James Potter,” she yelled through her laughter, pushing the snickering James with each word.

“Enough of this nonsense,” Remus chuckled, “We need to make sure Hermione’s ego isn’t bruised with a detention.”

“I’ll pray for the detention,” Sirius said, grinning at Lily.

**“"I'm sorry, Harry!" she wailed. "Snape came out and asked me what I was doing, so I said I was waiting for Flitwick, and Snape went to get him, and I've only just got away, I don't know where Snape went!"”**

“That’s the stupidest response she could have given,” Sirius said, and Lily turned to face him, her expression aghast.

“What are you talking about? What else could she have said? ‘Just standing, sir’ wouldn’t really cut it, now would it?” she asked, and both James and Remus sniggered.

“Yes, but because she said she was waiting for Flitwick the ending to that tale was completely predictable,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“Well what else could she have said?” she asked, and he shrugged.

“That’s not my problem, now is it?” he asked, and she rolled her eyes, the corners of her mouth twitching.

“Well if you have no suggestions how could you criticize a poor First Year, you great buffoon?” she teased, and Sirius gasped

“I am not a buffoon! Great, yes, but not a buffoon!” he protested, hand resting on his heart, “It pains me to hear you say that!”

“Pain builds character,” she said, and Sirius rolled his eyes amusedly, flicking his hair out of his eyes as Remus the other boys laughed.

“I love how she did exactly what Ron told her to,” Remus said, “takes the feminist movement back a few decades, doesn’t it? First the boys tell her to do this, so she does, and then the boys tell her what to say, so she does,” he said, and Lily glared at him as James and Sirius sniggered.

“Is that true of all Gryffindor know-it-alls? Because I’d like to try that on Lily sometime,” Sirius said, and Lily moved her narrowed eyes from Remus to him.

“I’m sure James would be more eager to try it out,” Remus said suggestively, wagging his brows, causing Lily to flush a magnificent shade of red as James grinned devilishly.

“Let’s not fluster the feminist,” James said, grinning down at the blushing redhead, her face almost the same colour as her hair.

“Love the alliteration there mate,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes to exaggerate his sarcasm.

“I’m sure you did,” James said, kissing Lily on top of her head.

**“"Well, that's it then, isn't it?" Harry said. The other two stared at him.”**

“What’s it?” James asked, and a devilish grin spread across Sirius’ face

“What’s what?” he replied, winking at Remus, who rolled his eyes to the heavens, before leaning back to watch the show. Lily frowned at Sirius, who winked back at her.

“What?” James asked

“What what?” Sirius retorted, raising his eyebrows questioningly at James, who groaned and covered his face with his hands as Remus, Sirius and Lily burst out laughing.

“Stop _confusing_ me!” James whined, “You know I get confused easily.”

“Yet you claim to be brilliant. Fraud,” Lily snorted, and James threw her a playfully angry look, receiving a cheeky grin in return.

“She has a point there, you know,” Remus agreed, grinning as his friend rolled his eyes irritably.

“Oh sod off you losers. Let’s just focus on Harry,” he grumbled, crossing his arms dejectedly

“Aw, did wittle Jamie get embarrassed?” Sirius cooed, receiving a finger in return from James.

“In all seriousness,” Lily began

“Yes, let’s all be Sirius,” Sirius cut in, placing his hand on his chest, earning an amused eye roll from Lily and snickers from his friends.

“Punny,” she deadpanned, before turning away to face Remus as the boys laughed, “What do you think Harry means?”

“Obviously they’re going down the trapdoor,” James said, and Lily gasped.

“They shouldn’t!”

“Whether they should or not was not your question,” Sirius pointed out, and Lily huffed.

“Did you take an irritating pill earlier?” she asked, and Sirius smirked as Remus and James laughed.

“Not unless you slipped something to me, love,” Sirius answered, “Although given our situation I’m sure that’s not what you would have slipped to me,” he winked, and Lily glared at him.

“Lil they definitely go down the trapdoor- it’s only logical given that the name of the chapter is ‘Through the Trapdoor,” James said, and Lily pouted.

“I hate this bloody book,” she grumbled, pulling her knees up to her chest, “First it kills me, then somehow I end up dating you, and now my future son is an idiot,” she whined, and both Sirius and Remus sniggered loudly as James beamed.

“I happen to really like this book,” he said, and Lily snorted

“Shocker,” Remus muttered, winking at James as he stuck his tongue out at him.

**“He was pale and his eyes were glittering.”**

“Lily! Your son looks just like you!” Sirius gasped, and Lily giggled.

“My eyes don’t glitter, thanks. I’d hate them to be labeled something so…girly,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“I hate to break it to you love, but you are a girl,” Sirius said, “I think we’d know given James’ proclivity for talking about you,” he said, and James glared at his best friend.

“Why are we always trying to embarrass James?” he asked, and Sirius grinned.

“Don’t worry mate, tomorrow’s tease Lily day, remember?” he said happily, and Lily groaned, dropping her head onto her knees as James grinned in anticipation.

“I cannot wait,” he said, ruffling Lily’s hair.

**“"I'm going out of here tonight and I'm going to try and get to the Stone first."”**

“Because you can beat a fully grown man with an addiction to the Dark Arts,” Lily said nastily, her voice muffled given that her face was buried in her legs.

“’Course he can! He’s a Potter!” James said happily, and Lily kicked him as Sirius and Remus snorted.

“Because Potter’s never get their butts whooped by older people,” Sirius said, winking at James, who flushed.

“I was a First Year!” he huffed, and Lily’s head snapped up, intrigued.

“See Lily, in our First Year James decided he was as badass as a First Year could be, so he decided to aggravate some of the older Slytherins,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes to the ceiling, smiling.

“Oh good lord James, what did they do to you?” she laughed, and Sirius shrugged, his eyes glinting madly.

“He was in the hospital wing for a few weeks, no big deal,” Sirius said, and Lily turned her head to look at James, who flushed under her expectant gaze.

“I was an idiot,” he sighed, nodding his head, and Lily smiled.

“Just as long as Harry isn’t as well, I don’t care,” she said, and James pouted.

“Ever since that book came along you care more about him than you do about me!” he whined dramatically, pretending to wipe away tears.

“He’s a better man,” Lily said, and James snorted as Remus and Sirius burst out laughing.

“He’s a boy,” James said, and Lily grinned.

“So’re you,” she said simply, her cheeky smile leaving James at a loss for words

“Lily, one hundred, James, zero,” Remus said, and James stuck his tongue out at him.

**“"You're mad!" said Ron.**

**"You can't!" said Hermione.**

**"After what McGonagall and Snape have said? You’ll be expelled!"”**

“Woman! Get your priorities right!” Sirius said irritably, “He has to go! If Snape gets the stone then Voldemort will come back and kill Harry!” he finished, and turned to see Lily beaming, “What are you smiling at, Evans? Shouldn’t you be irritated that I yelled at your minion?” he asked, and she beamed.

“You didn’t, though. You yelled at your own,” she said happily, and Sirius gaped as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“I did not. That was Hermione. It had to be,” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head, putting her hand out for the book. Remus handed it to her and she leaned over to show the dialogue to Sirius.

“See? Ron said the first and third thing, while Hermione said the second,” she finished, smugly admiring his expression.

“My minion is an idiot,” Sirius said bluntly, and Lily smiled.

“You’re right, our minions are just like us,” she said, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at her and she grinned cheekily.

“Your minion also called my child mad, by the way. You should know I’m not a big fan,” James said, and Remus snorted.

“If he’s _your_ son, he has to be mad,” he said, and James grinned.

“He’s Lily’s son too,” he said, and Remus smirked upon noticing Lily’s threateningly raised eyebrows.

“You called my child mad, Lupin?” she asked, and Remus pouted as Sirius and James laughed.

“You just got last named!” Sirius snickered, “I suppose now that she’s snogging Prongs, she’s going to need a new enemy,” he said, grinning, and Lily turned to glare at him, the snogging comment having made her blush.

“That’s what I’ve got you for, Sirius,” she said sweetly, and Sirius pouted as his friends grinned.

**“"SO WHAT?" Harry shouted.”**

“Inside voices, children,” Sirius sung, and the others burst out laughing.

“He’s justified,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“No-one’s ever justified for yelling for no reason,” she said, and then grinned at Sirius, “isn’t that right Sirius?” she said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her as Remus and James laughed.

**“"Don't you understand? If Snape gets hold of the Stone, Voldemort's coming back!”**

“I told you as much,” Sirius said, and Lily sighed.

“Can you at least wait for me to finish his little monologue before commenting?” she asked, “Then you can make snide comments.”

“As much as I want?” he asked, and Lily glared at him as James and Remus snickered.

**“Haven't you heard what it was like when he was trying to take over? There won't be any Hogwarts to get expelled from! He'll flatten it, or turn it into a school for the Dark Arts! Losing points doesn't matter anymore, can't you see? D'you think he'll leave you and your families alone if Gryffindor wins the house cup? If I get caught before I can get to the Stone, well, I'll have to go back to the Dursleys and wait for Voldemort to find me there, it's only dying a bit later than I would have, because I'm never going over to the Dark Side! I'm going through that trapdoor tonight and nothing you two say is going to stop me! Voldemort killed my parents, remember?"”**

Lily flinched upon reading that last phrase, and James put a comforting arm around her.

“You think it hurts to die?” she asked him

“Shut up, you’re not going to get murdered by Voldemort,” he said, and she looked up at him with a tortured expression on her face.

“But if we don’t figure out why he did it or how to stop him, who says it wont happen?” she asked, a hint of panic in her tone.

“We’ll figure it out,” James said, swallowing back the fear that was bound to reveal itself after the realization of Lily’s words hit, “I promise.”

“And if not?” she asked.

“We’ll apparate away the minute he appears on our doorstep,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Given that this is all true and I actually have a brain fart and marry you,” she said, and James poked her in the side, causing her to squeal when it tickled.

“I’ve never been so proud of that little guy,” Remus said, grinning, “‘it’s only dying a bit later than I would have, because I’m never going over to the Dark Side,’ now that’s a great kid right there,” he said, and both Lily and James beamed.

“I wonder what it must feel like to know that someone out there wants to kill you,” Sirius said, and Lily grinned at him.

“You already know Sirius. I always want to kill you,” she said, and he sighed.

“Oh thank goodness, I was wondering who that was,” he said, before grinning at her, “Hey Evans, notice how the house points were mentioned in his little tirade? Think they don’t matter now?” he teased, and she rolled her eyes as Remus and James laughed.

“They don’t. He’s a first year. He doesn’t know any better. You, on the other hand, are an overgrown eleven year old with raging hormones who should know better,” she said, and Sirius gasped as James and Remus continued to laugh.

“Why Lily, why the focus on my hormones?” he asked, wagging his brows, and Lily huffed, turning back to the book as he smirked devilishly, winking at James’ faux irritated expression.

“‘Losing points doesn’t matter anymore!’ Honestly the immaturity,” Lily snorted, and the boys laughed.

“He’s your son Lil,” Remus said, and she rolled her eyes

“That was James’ son speaking, not mine,” she said, and James ruffled her hair.

“So he’s always going to be my son if it’s something you disapprove of,” he said, addressing it as a statement as opposed to a question.

She grinned up at him, “I’m glad we made that clear.”

**“He glared at them.**

**"You're right Harry," said Hermione in a small voice.””**

“Again with the feminism,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted.

“What are you, a woman?” he asked, and Remus flushed as Lily and James laughed.

**“"I'll use the invisibility cloak," said Harry, "It's just lucky I got it back."”**

“It will always find its way back to you, kiddo,” James said, beaming, “that’s the beauty of the cloak.”

“It’s not _alive,_ James,” Lily said exasperatedly, earning a cheeky smile.

**“"But will it cover all three of us?" said Ron.”**

“Now that’s friendship right there, the mark of a good friend,” Sirius said, shooting Lily a look, “ _my_ minion said it, not yours,” he said, and Lily shook her head amusedly as Remus and James chuckled.

“I’m happy for you Sirius, at least your minion is good for something,” she said, and Sirius gaped at her.

“That was by far the rudest thing you’ve ever said,” he sniffed, and the other three laughed, “What did my minion ever do to deserve your wrath?”

“The feminist thing,” she said, winking at Remus, who reddened slightly as his friends started snickering.

**“"All -- all three of us?"”**

“James! Your son is an idiot,” Sirius yelled, and James frowned at him.

“Actually he’s just like James,” Remus said, “Doesn’t expect his friends to actually bother helping him, and naïve enough to think he can do things on his own,” he explained, grinning at James.

“That’s not true,” James retorted in a small voice.

“Yes it is,” Sirius snorted, “Bloody irritated. You treat us like we’re incapable of looking after ourselves,” he said, and James grinned.

“Well, you are,” he said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him.

“You better not do it with Lil, or she’ll yell at you for feminism,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted.

“No, that would only happen if he were dating _you_ , Moony,” he teased, and Remus hid his face in embarrassment as the other three laughed.

“Sorry mate, you’re not my type,” James said, grinning cheekily, and Remus shot him a look.

“Maybe if I put on a red wig and smelled like lavenders you’d be more drawn to me,” Remus retorted, and James flushed as Lily and Sirius burst out laughing.

**“"Oh, come off it, you don't think we'd let you go alone?"**

**"Of course not," said Hermione briskly. "How do you think you'd get to the Stone without us? I'd better go and took through my books, there might be something useful..."”**

“My minion is awesome, he told Harry to come off it,” Sirius preened, and Lily snorted.

“Without my minion your minion and James’ son would be stuck in a hallway, stumped by a locked door,” she said, and both James and Sirius gasped

“I detest the implication that I am not intelligent,” James said, and Lily smiled apologetically.

“I know you’re intelligent, untwist your knickers,” she said, and Sirius sniggered.

“Ouch mate, she just said you wore knickers,” he said, and James shrugged.

“She called me smart too,” he replied, and Sirius rolled his eyes amusedly.

“At least my minion isn’t a swot,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged.

“It’s the smart people that are needed in scary situations,” she said, grinning at Sirius, “without her they’ll probably end up stuck in some room without any idea how to get out.”

“Shut up,” Sirius huffed, and Lily laughed.

“What a great comeback,” she teased, and Sirius flushed as James and Remus sniggered.

**“"But if we get caught, you two will be expelled, too!"**

**“"Not if I can help it," said Hermione grimly. "Flitwick told me in secret that I got a hundred and twelve percent on his exam. They're not throwing me out after that."”**

“How is that even possible?” Sirius choked, “MAJOR swot,” he said, and Lily flushed.

“You get it because of quality marks and answering bonus questions,” she said, and Remus smirked at her.

“How many times have _you_ gotten a hundred and twelve percent on an exam Lil?” he teased, and she flushed.

“Um- never?” she squeaked, and James sniggered.

“Oh my goodness, I’m dating a super swot,” he said, placing a kiss on top of her head, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two boys laughed.

“And I’m dating an alliteration addict,” she said, and James grinned.

“At least I’m bloody brilliant with my amazing alliterations,” he said, and she shook her head amusedly as Remus and Sirius snickered.

Lily looked down at her page and groaned. James leaned forward and sniggered loudly, “Hey Padfoot, I believe you’ve got a solo once more,” he said, and Sirius’ eyes brightened.

“Brilliant! It’s been so long!” he said, and cleared his throat.

“And I thought we were done with this,” Lily sighed, resting her head on James shoulder, which was shaking with his anticipatory laughter.

**“oOo”**

“That was, by far, the worst singing I have ever heard,” Lily said, rubbing her ears as James and Remus clutched their stomachs as they laughed. Sirius was laughing so hard that he’d fallen off his seat, lying o his back on the floor.

“Oh come off it Lil, that was pretty amazing,” Sirius said, once he’d managed to catch is breath, “I’d put the Twisted Sisters out of business!”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, stupid,” she chuckled as James wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap.

“Do you have to do the lovey dovey crap while we’re around?” Remus asked irritably, and James beamed at him.

“She’s just sitting on my lap, you prude,” he said, and Remus flushed as Lily, James and Sirius laughed.

**“After dinner the three of them sat nervously apart in the common room. Nobody bothered them; none of the Gryffindors had anything to say to Harry any more, after all.”**

“We Gryffindors are a pretty rude bunch,” Lily said, and the boys snorted.

“Are you saying that if someone was responsible for the loss of a hundred and fifty points you would still go over and chat with them?” James asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“They don’t matter,” she said, and Sirius gasped.

“Prongs it’s either her or me,” he said, and James rolled his eyes amusedly as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Choose wisely,” Lily said.

“I refuse to choose,” James said, and Sirius sighed.

“Then by default you lose us both, sorry!” he said, “Now Lily and I can pursue our forbidden love!”

“Joy,” Lily deadpanned.

**“This was the first night he hadn't been upset by it.”**

“See? That’s why I would talk to them. They’re obviously upset for losing so many ridiculous points,” Lily said, and Remus chuckled.

“Yes, but shouldn’t they be punished for doing something bad?” he challenged.

“That’s what detentions, suspensions and expulsions are for. The point system simply adds to the heightened levels of competition and animosity between the houses, particularly the Gryffindors and Slytherins,” she said. Sirius made a big show of yawning, causing James and Remus to burst out laughing as Lily’s mouth twitched amusedly.

**“Hermione was skimming through all her notes, hoping to come across one of the enchantments they were about to try to break.”**

“Because there’s no way the enchantments couldn’t be broken by a First Year,” James said, and Sirius smirked.

“Now whose minion is stupid?” he asked, and she shrugged.

“At least mine’s doing something to help,” she retorted, and Sirius huffed.

“Mine’s the muscle.”

“Because muscle can fight off enchantments,” she teased, earning chuckles from Remus and James.

**“Harry and Ron didn't talk much. Both of them were thinking about what they were about to do.”**

“See?” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“How does that prove that he’s helping?” she asked exasperatedly, her eyes dancing with amusement

“He’s visualizing,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed, “They say visualization helps in elevating performance levels in sports, so there’s nothing to say it wont work with this situation,” he said. Lily smirked and pretended to yawn, causing James and Remus to burst out laughing.

“Well played,” Remus said, and Lily grinned at him.

**“Slowly, the room emptied as people drifted off to bed.”**

“Does that not sound eerie to anyone else?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed.

“Are you going to keep interrupting me?” she asked irritably, and Sirius beamed at her as James and Remus smirked.

“Well, I do believe you said I could make snide comments after Harry finished his monologue,” Sirius said.

“Not an unlimited amount!” she squeaked, and Sirius smirked devilishly.

“I win,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly as James and Remus laughed.

“James!” she whined, and he grinned at her, tightening his arms around her.

“Don’t you dare help her! Bros before hoes, remember?” Sirius said, and Lily pouted at James, who only looked between the two of them and chuckled.

“See what I have to deal with?” he asked Remus, who rolled his eyes

“Oh yes, two people fighting over you, how terrible,” he deadpanned, and James flushed as Lily and Sirius laughed.

**“"Better get the cloak," Ron muttered, as Lee Jordan finally left, stretching and yawning. Harry ran upstairs to their dark dormitory. He pulled out the cloak and then his eyes fell on the flute Hagrid had given him for Christmas. He pocketed it to use on Fluffy -- he didn't feel much like singing.”**

“Well I should hope not, if he’s anything like James nobody would like him for singing,” Sirius said, and James scowled as Lily and Remus laughed.

“At least I’m better than you,” James retorted.

“I am a fantastic singer, thanks,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“I think Remus is the singer of you lot, to be honest,” she said, and Remus grinned proudly as his two friends glared at him.

**“He ran back down to the common room.”**

“Don’t run down the stairs! You’ll trip and break your arm,” Lily said, shaking her head fondly, and James quirked a brow.

“Okay mum,” he said, and Lily nudged him as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

**“"We'd better put the cloak on here, and make sure it covers all three of us -- if Filch spots one of our feet wandering along on its own --"”**

“That is a very good idea,” Remus said.

“Much smarter than we were our first time with the cloak,” Sirius sniggered, causing the other two to grin nostalgically.

“What happened?” Lily asked curiously.

“Just that,” James chuckled, “Filch spotted four pairs of feet wandering along on their own,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Did he confiscate your cloak?” she asked, and the boys instantly started sniggering, “What did you lot do?” she asked, an anticipatory amused smile spreading across her face.

“We may or may not have pretended to be the ghost of his grandmother,” Sirius said calmly, and Lily’s jaw dropped as the other two started to snigger again.

“You didn’t!” she gasped, “How did you even know he had a dead grandmother?”

“Wild guess,” James shrugged, “It scared the shit out of him though,” he finished, an evil smirk spreading across his face at the memory.

“You should have seen his face,” Remus laughed, “I’ve never seen someone look so frightened in their entire lives.”

“But why was he frightened? You’d think he’d like to see his grandmum,” Lily said, and the boys grinned at her

“Who cares? Scared him, didn’t it?” Sirius said, and Lily shook her head fondly.

**“"What are you doing?" said a voice from the corner of the room.”**

“They’re obviously not all that observant,” Lily snorted, “They could get in trouble.”

“Or maybe it’s the twins!” Sirius said hopefully, and James beamed.

“It would be fantastic if they showed up,” James said happily.

“Much more entertaining,” Sirius agreed, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“It’s not about the entertainment. They know more magic than the First Years so they’d be able to help,” she said, “Right?” she asked James, who smirked down at her.

“Actually, love, I was talking about how entertaining it would be,” he said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“He’s always going to be first and foremost a Marauder, Evans,” Sirius said, leaning back in his armchair and grinning, “You might as well get used to it now.”

“Oh sod off, you,” she grumbled, turning the page of the book as James and Sirius grinned at each other.

**“Neville appeared from behind an armchair, clutching Trevor the toad, who looked as though he'd been making another bid for freedom.”**

“Probably because his chubby hands are crushing the poor creature,” Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms are the other two boys laughed and Lily shook her head in amusement, attempting to look disapproving.

“I don’t see the threat in Neville,” James shrugged, “They could probably throw a chocolate and have him distracted,” he finished, causing Sirius to burst out laughing and Lily and Remus to exchange exasperated looks.

“Are the fat jokes back?” Lily asked exasperatedly, and James smirked.

“Challenge accepted,” he said, and Sirius whooped, leaning forwards to clap him on the back.

**“"Nothing, Neville, nothing," said Harry, hurriedly putting the cloak behind his back.”**

“Because hiding something behind your back makes everything look a lot less suspicious,” Lily drawled, causing the boys to chuckle.

“Well what else is he supposed to do? Say ‘hey Neville, we’re just about to go out and risk our lives, no big deal?’” James asked in an exasperated tone, “I think he did the best he could do in that situation.”

“Whenever you answer the question ‘what’s going on?’ with ‘nothing’, there’s always something actually going on,” Lily said

“Not necessarily! Sometimes people ask you that in reference to how you’re feeling emotionally, say if you’re upset or something, and you answer with nothing because you’re not actually upset, it’s just how your face sets,” Remus said, grinning cheekily at Lily, who rolled her eyes

“We’re discussing it in a literal sense Remus,” she sighed, shaking her head amusedly.

“Well even in the literal sense, sometimes nothing is actually going on,” he retorted. Lily opened her mouth to reply, when Sirius cut her off.

“Are we _honestly_ arguing about this at the climax of Harry’s First Year?” he asked exasperatedly, looking between his friends, who raised their eyebrows at him.

“I believe you’re always the one making the stupid interruptions,” Lily said, and he stuck his tongue out at her as James and Remus laughed.

“Let’s just read the book,” Remus chuckled, “preferably _before_ Sirius starts throwing a tantrum,” he finished, smirking at his friend, and Lily grinned at Sirius before looking down at the book.

**“Neville stared at their guilty faces.**

**"You're going out again," he said.”**

“Maybe Neville here is smarter than we gave him credit for,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted.

“It’s pretty obvious they’re going out,” she said, and Remus grinned.

“I thought you were the one who always insisted Neville wasn’t stupid and fat,” he teased, “now you’re contesting Sirius when he calls him intelligent?”

“Oh shut up Remus,” Lily laughed, as James and Sirius sniggered.

“Why Lily, how could you? That’s so mean. He’s only a First Year!” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes, grinning.

“I thought _tomorrow_ was tease Lily day?” she said, and James grinned.

“We’re practicing,” he said, and Lily shot him a deadpan look as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“I wouldn’t think you lot needed practice with teasing other people,” she challenged, raising her eyebrows amusedly, and James sighed.

“Okay, I lied. We’re just gradually easing you into the teasing limelight so you don’t explode and AK us all, happy?” he quipped, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as she, giggling, leaned against the right side of his body.

“Oh my goodness, I cant believe we’re arguing something so ridiculous at the climax of Harry’s First Year!” she gasped, looking at Sirius, who stuck his tongue out at her as James and Remus laughed, “We better keep reading, so Sirius doesn’t get too upset,” she said, and Sirius chuckled.

“You’re a piece of work, Evans,” he grinned.

**“"No, no, no," said Hermione. "No, we're not. Why don't you go to bed, Neville?"”**

“Maybe if you offer to take him to bed he’ll agree,” James said, and Lily choked as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“She’s _eleven!_ ” she squawked.

“Eleven year olds can have sex,” James said, and Lily squealed, covering her ears with her hands.

“You’re _disgusting_ ,” she hissed, attempting to push herself away from James, who only laughed and kept his arm securely around her, his strength no match for Lily, “Get off me you pedophilic freak,” she said, laughing as James gaped down at her and Sirius and Remus burst out laughing.

“ _Excuse_ me?” James gasped, dropping his hand down to her side and wiggling his fingers, causing her to squeal with laughter, “take it back!”

“No!” Lily managed through her laughter, “Stop tickling me!”

“Only if you take it back,” he said, grinning widely. Remus and Sirius watched the exchange with grins on their faces, exchanging a knowing look; both thrilled for their friend.

“I’m sorry!” Lily laughed, and James chuckled, moving his hand back up to her shoulder as her laughter died down.

“We better keep reading. You know how Sirius gets,” James said, and Sirius swore at him as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“Harry looked at the grandfather clock by the door. They couldn't afford to waste any more time, Snape might even now be playing Fluffy to sleep.”**

“I cannot for the life of me imagine Snivellus playing a musical instrument,” James said, and Lily nudged him disapprovingly as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“Maybe he just gets out a violins bow and runs it along a lock of his hair,” Sirius wagered, and Lily choked as Remus and James burst out laughing.

“It would be squeaky enough, that’s for sure,” James wheezed, and Lily rolled her eyes, fighting back a smile.

“You lot are terrible,” she chuckled, turning the page of the book.

**“"You can't go out," said Neville, "you'll be caught again. Gryffindor will be in even more trouble."”**

“Okay! I agree with Lily this one time,” Sirius said, and the other three frowned at him.

“That’s great, I’m honored. Care to explain what about?” she asked, and Sirius smirked at her as James and Remus chuckled, James pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

“Merlin, why are you so kissy all of a sudden?” Remus grumbled, and James winked at him as Lily flushed slightly, both she and Sirius laughing.

“It’s not like she minds,” Sirius quipped, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James grinned down at her.

“Don’t be jealous, Moony! I’ll save some for you,” James said, and Remus rolled his eyes, his mouth twitching from the effort it took him not to laugh.

“I meant about the points,” Sirius said, returning to their previous conversation, “Because of the bloody point system, Neville’s stalling their heroic mission,” he said, and Lily chuckled.

“I think it’s sweet that he’s trying to defend his house,” she said, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“You can never win with this one,” he grumbled to James, who only grinned as Lily stuck her tongue out at Sirius.

**“"You don't understand," said Harry, "this is important." But Neville was clearly steeling himself to do something desperate.**

**“I won't let you do it," he said, hurrying to stand in front of the portrait hole. "I'll -- I'll fight you!"”**

“I told you he was a Gryffindor,” Lily preened, shooting Sirius a look, causing him to gape at her as James and Remus laughed.

“I didn’t say-”

“Yes you did,” she said, “Ages ago.”

“You have no proof,” he huffed, and Lily beamed at him.

“But I have witnesses!” she said happily, looking between Remus and James, who smirked at her.

“They’re my friends Evans. You can’t use them as your witness,” he said proudly, and Remus sighed.

“I’m afraid the phrase _is_ bros before hoes,” he teased, and Lily pouted, turning to James, who grinned down at her.

“Please?” she asked, and James chuckled.

“You’re all insane,” he said, and Lily huffed.

“You’re useless,” she grumbled, and James smirked as Remus and Sirius grinned.

“Hear, hear!” Sirius said, and James stuck his tongue out at him as Remus and Lily laughed.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit brave of Neville to take on The Harry Potter?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Harry’s just a boy,” she shrugged.

“An invincible boy,” James added, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as Remus and Sirius snickered.

“I’d be more frightened to take on Hermione, if I were him,” she said, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“She’s a girl. One punch and she’d be done,” he said, and Lily gaped as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“First off, you’re not supposed to hit a girl,” she said, and Sirius winked at her.

“What about spankings?” he asked, and Lily flushed darkly as the boys sniggered dirtily.

“Second off,” she continued, her face still red, “he’d have to get close enough to punch her, which could be impossible given that she could take him out with her wand in a second,” she finished, and Sirius grinned.

“Sorry Lil, I was thinking about spankings, what did you say?”

“Fuck you,” she huffed, her face reddening more as the three boys laughed.

**“"Neville, "Ron exploded, "get away from that hole and don't be an idiot --"”**

“I’d say Ron is the most fearful,” Sirius said, “He’d probably punch Neville and take him out in a second.”

“ _Please_ ,” Lily snorted, “Ron was described as tall and skinny. There’s no way he’d have the muscle to take out Neville.”

“Oh right. Only a dragon could take on something so huge,” Sirius agreed, a devilish grin spreading across his face as Lily groaned, slapping her palm to her forehead as James and Remus howled with laughter.

“I think it would be a fair fight, with the dragon,” James said, and Lily whacked his arm, causing him to grin down at her.

“I guess it’s true what they say about red heads and their tempers,” Remus said, grinning at Lily who narrowed her eyes at him as James and Sirius sniggered.

“Lily _and_ Ron. It’s definitely a solid fact,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly.

“Better not test the temper then,” she said simply, grinning at him, before turning back to the book as the boys chuckled.

**“"Don't you call me an idiot!" said Neville. “I don't think you should be breaking any more rules! And you were the one who told me to stand up to people!"”**

“Seriously, where did all this Gryffindor courage come from?” Sirius asked, his eyebrows raising amusedly.

“He was always courageous,” Lily sighed, shaking her head in disapproval.

“Yeah, it was just hard to find under all that fat,” James said.

“ _James_!” Lily laughed, whacking his leg lying next to hers as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“Sorry dear,” he laughed, kissing her on top of the head. He looked up at Remus and blew him a kiss, causing Remus to snort and Lily and Sirius to laugh, “Just so you don’t feel left out like before,” James said, and Remus shot him a deadpan look.

“Thanks,” he said sarcastically, and James winked.

“Anything for you, Remmy-poo,” he sung, and Remus rolled his eyes as Lily and Sirius laughed.

“Rhyming and alliteration, you have it all,” Lily laughed.

“Yep, so don’t forget how lucky you are to be dating me,” he said, and Lily giggled as Sirius and Remus snorted.

**“"Yes, but not to us," said Ron in exasperation. "Neville, you don't know what you're doing."”**

The four of them burst out laughing, “‘Yes, but not to us,” Sirius snickered, “Bloody priceless.”

“Typical,” Lily chuckled, shaking her head, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at her.

“Lily Evans you better not be suggesting that my minion is into double standards,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“What if I am?” she challenged, and Sirius smirked devilishly.

“Don’t say it,” James warned, and Sirius sighed, crossing his arms moodily as Remus sniggered.

“What did I miss?” Lily asked, and Sirius smirked.

“I was _going to_ suggest I hit you the way you’re supposed to hit girls,” he said, and Lily flushed a fantastic shade of purple, ducking her head down to hide her face as Sirius and Remus sniggered dirtily and James shook his head, hiding his amusement.

“You asked for it, Lil,” he said, ruffling her hair, and she groaned, bringing her hands up to cover her face.

“ _So_ embarrassing,” she grumbled, and the boys laughed.

**“He took a step forward and Neville dropped Trevor the toad, who leapt out of sight.**

**"Go on then, try and hit me!" said Neville, raising his fists. "I'm ready!"”**

“Oi, Neville, you lost your toad again,” Sirius called, before rolling his eyes, “honestly this boy is so forgetful,” he snorted.

“Why’d he raise his fists?” James asked, “he’d be better off sticking his stomach out so Ron would bounce off it,” he said, and Lily whacked him, grinning, as Sirius and Remus burst out laughing.

“Wonder who’d win in that fight,” Remus mused, “Ron or Neville.”

“Neville obviously, his fat gives him more momentum when he swings his arms,” James said, and Lily shook her head amusedly as he grinned cheekily down at her.

**“Harry turned to Hermione.”**

Lily beamed at Sirius, “I _told_ you so,” she said, and Sirius blinked at her.

“I have no idea what the bloody fuck you’re talking about,” he said, and Lily raised her eyebrows as James and Remus burst out laughing as Sirius grinned cheekily at Lily.

“I told you my minion would be more useful than yours,” she said, and Sirius snorted.

“Hardly.”

“I’m sorry, but whose minion did Harry turn to?” she asked innocently, and Sirius turned away from her, flicking his hair out of his eyes as James and Remus sniggered.

**“"Do something," he said desperately.”**

Lily raised her eyebrows at Sirius, who stuck his tongue out at her in response.

**“Hermione stepped forward.**

**"Neville," she said, "I'm really, really sorry about this." She raised her wand. "Petrificus Totalus!" she cried, pointing it at Neville.”**

“Ouch,” Remus winced, “Poor Neville.”

“He deserved it, stalling a hero and all,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes at him as he grinned back at her.

“You’re just bugging me because now there’s conclusive proof that my minion trumps over yours,” she said, and Sirius snorted while James and Remus laughed.

“Is this competition going to last until the end of the chapter?” James asked, and Lily snorted.

“Obviously,” she said, and James smirked at her.

“Wow Lily, I didn’t know you were so competitive,” Remus said, and Lily grinned.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Lupin,” she said mysteriously, winking at him, and the boys chuckled.

**“Neville's arms snapped to his sides. His legs sprang together. His whole body rigid, he swayed where he stood and then fell flat on his face, stiff as a board.”**

“KABOOM!” Sirius yelled.

“EARTHQUAKE!” James yelled, and both he and Sirius started to move around in their seats as Lily and Remus watched on in amusement.

“JAMES! THE FLOOR HAS BEEN CRACKED!” Sirius yelled, pointing at the area in front of the Portrait Hole.

“MERLIN! THE CASTLE’S COMING DOWN!” James yelled back.

“Yeah, because you both are so bloody loud,” Lily laughed, “Quit it would you?”

“Yeah Sirius, I thought you wanted to read the book?” Remus teased, and Lily grinned.

“Swots don’t know how to have fun,” Sirius grumbled, and James pouted in agreement, crossing his arms dejectedly as Lily and Remus rolled their eyes.

**“Hermione ran to turn him over. Neville's jaws were jammed together so he couldn't speak. Only his eyes were moving, looking at them in horror.”**

“The poor kid,” Lily said sympathetically, “It must feel horrible to fall right on your face.”

“Especially with such force,” James agreed in a serious tone, and Lily shot him an amused look as he grinned at her.

“I’d imagine body binds are the worst thing to have put on you,” Remus sighed, and James glared at Lily, who grinned at him.

“Yep, especially when your body bind causes you to fall, face first, into a mud pit,” James said, and Lily giggled as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“I completely forgot about that,” Remus laughed.

“Merlin Evans, you really were vicious back then,” Sirius said, and Lily shrugged.

“He was bothering me,” she said, and James snorted as the other two laughed.

“So obviously you place a body bind on him. What other options are there?” he said sarcastically, and Lily grinned.

“Exactly,” she said, pinching his cheek affectionately, “I suppose its even worse when your friends just stand there and laugh after turning you over, not bothering to free you from the spell,” she said, and he nodded, shooting his friends dirty looks.

“At least Hermione turned Neville over,” he grumbled, and his friends beamed at him.

“We turned you over Prongs,” Sirius said, “We just didn’t bother to free you.”

“Or wipe the mud off your face,” Remus sniggered, and James glared at him.

**“"What've you done to him?" Harry whispered.**

**"It's the full Body-Bind," said Hermione miserably. "Oh, Neville, I'm so sorry."”**

“She’s probably not, if she’s anything like Lily,” Sirius said, grinning at James, who snorted as Lily giggled.

“He has a point,” she said, and James ruffled her hair, causing her to laugh harder.

“I love how Harry thinks Hermione might have gravely injured Neville,” Remus snickered, and the other three laughed.

“Oh to be young and naïve,” Sirius said wistfully, “he must get that from Lily.”

“Oi!” she exclaimed as James and Remus laughed, “I am not naïve.”

“Whatever you say love,” Sirius grinned, and Lily glared at him.

**“"We had to, Neville, no time to explain," said Harry.**

**"You'll understand later, Neville," said Ron as they stepped over him and pulled on the invisibility cloak.”**

“They didn’t even have the decency to step around him,” Lily snorted, causing the boys to laugh.

“Wonder if he got a good look up Hermione’s skirt,” Sirius mused, and Lily shot him a disgusted look as James and Remus laughed.

“Pervert,” she huffed, and Sirius grinned.

“Guilty,” he shrugged, and Lily shook her head amusedly as James and Remus grinned, “I’ve gotten a look up every girl in our year’s skirts,” he said proudly, and Lily snorted.

“Not all of them, I bet,” she said, and Sirius winked.

“Oh yeah, even you Evans,” he said, and Lily gaped as the three boys sniggered, “Trust me, I’d remember. Prongs quizzed me about it for hours,” he added, and James flushed as Remus sniggered and Lily turned to him, aghast.

“You did not,” she said, and James shrugged, grinning at her, and she shook her head amusedly.

“I’d wager he doesn’t need Sirius to describe anything for him anymore,” Remus said under his breath, and Lily flushed darkly as a dirty smile crossed James’ face, causing Sirius to snigger.

**“But leaving Neville lying motionless on the floor didn't feel like a very good omen. In their nervous state, every statue's shadow looked like Filch, every distant breath of wind sounded like Peeves swooping down on them.”**

“Amateurs,” James chuckled, and Lily shook her head, still blushing from Remus’ previous comment, looking anywhere but at James, “What’s wrong Lil? Embarrassed?”

“Oh sod off, you prick,” she huffed

“What’s that about my prick?” he asked, and Lily whacked his arm as Sirius and Remus burst out laughing.

**“At the foot of the first set of stairs, they spotted Mrs. Norris skulking near the top.”**

“Better walk by her fast,” Sirius said, and Lily frowned.

“Why? They’re under the invisibility cloak,” she said, and Sirius snorted.

“Cats can see through it,” he said, and Lily quirked a brow.

“Or at least, Mrs. Norris can,” James said.

“It’s always fun when Filch comes running only to see nothing,” Remus chuckled, and Lily shook her head fondly as the boys snickered.

**“"Oh, let's kick her, just this once," Ron whispered in Harry's ear, but Harry shook his head.”**

“We’re doing that next time,” Sirius said, and James chuckled

“Let’s not kick cats, okay?” he said, and Sirius scowled at him.

“No wonder Harry’s such a buzz kill,” he huffed, and James smirked as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Ouch James, what’s it feel like to be described as a buzz kill?” Lily asked, and James snorted as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“As they climbed carefully around her, Mrs. Norris turned her lamp-like eyes on them, but didn't do anything.”**

“She’s probably learned from us that doing something isn’t going to help,” Sirius said, and Remus laughed.

“Hopefully she doesn’t try to follow them,” he said, and Sirius’ eyes brightened.

“She should! Then that bloody dog Fluffy can eat her!”

“Sirius!” Lily chastised, receiving only a grin in return as James and Remus chuckled.

**“They didn't meet anyone else until they reached the staircase up to the third floor. Peeves was bobbing halfway up, loosening the carpet so that people would trip.”**

“That’s a brilliant idea,” Sirius sniggered, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“No it’s not. People could get seriously hurt!” she said, and Sirius shrugged.

“Not my problem,” he said, and Lily shot him a disapproving look as James and Remus laughed.

**“"Who's there?" he said suddenly as they climbed toward him. He narrowed his wicked black eyes. "Know you're there, even if I can't see you. Are you ghoulie or ghostie or wee student beastie?" He rose up in the air and floated there, squinting at them. "Should call Filch, I should, if something's a-creeping around unseen."”**

“They should probably get out of there soon,” Remus said warily, “if Peeves starts throwing things they’ll be revealed.”

“That is true,” Sirius said, “But they can hardly go up the staircase without tripping given the loosened carpet. I mean, then it would be obvious they were there and Peeves would steal the cloak. Then you’d never get it back.”

“What happened to ‘it always finds its way back to you,’” Lily teased, nudging James, who shook his head amusedly as Sirius and Remus laughed.    

**“Harry had a sudden idea.**

**"Peeves," he said, in a hoarse whisper, "the Bloody Baron has his own reasons for being invisible."”**

“Your child is the epitome of brilliance,” Sirius choked, shaking his head in amazement as the other three gaped.

“That is the most genius thing I’ve ever thought of!” James gasped, and Lily snorted.

“ _You_ didn’t think about it,” she said, and James rolled his eyes as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“I wonder if Peeves is going to fall for it,” Remus mused.

**“Peeves almost fell out of the air in shock. He caught himself in time and hovered about a foot off the stairs.**

**"So sorry, your bloodiness, Mr. Baron, Sir," he said greasily. "My mistake, my mistake -- I didn't see you -- of course I didn't, you're invisible -- forgive old Peevsie his little joke, sir."”**

“It worked,” Lily gasped, shaking her head in wonder, a smile spreading across her face.

“We have to try this sometime,” James hissed excitedly, grinning at Sirius, who grinned back.

“The next time we’re under the cloak,” Sirius swore, and Lily snorted.

“So you’re just going to go looking for Peeves?” she asked, and Remus grinned.

“We don’t need to,” he said simply, and Lily quirked her brow, “Peeves always seems to show up when people are up to no good,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly.

“Troublemakers unite,” she shrugged, and the boys stuck their tongues out at her as she grinned cheekily, “he felt the connection.”

**“"I have business here, Peeves," croaked Harry. "Stay away from this place tonight."**

**"I will, sir, I most certainly will," said Peeves, rising up in the air again. "Hope your business goes well, Baron, I'll not bother you." And he scooted off”**

“I have never felt so much pride for a child who was not mine,” Sirius said, shaking his head in wonder.

“We’ll do it tonight!” Remus said excitedly.

“Tonight?” Lily asked, frowning, “Why tonight?”

“Because tonight’s the night of the punishment,” James said simply, grinning at Sirius, who groaned and hid his head in his hands, his fingers pulling down the hem of the beanie still resting on his head, causing Lily and Remus to laugh.

“All of us wont fit under the cloak though,” Lily said, frowning, and James shrugged.

“We’ll manage,” he winked, and Lily raised her eyebrows, “There are always disillusionment charms,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Why don’t you lot just use those in the first place?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” James retorted, and Lily shook her head fondly as the others laughed.

**“"Brilliant, Harry!" whispered Ron. A few seconds later, they were there, outside the third-floor corridor -- and the door was already ajar.”**

“It _was_ brilliant,” Sirius said, grinning smugly at Lily, who quirked a brow.

“Why was that directed at me?” she asked, turning to James, who only shrugged. Remus, on the other hand, snorted.

“It’s another minion thing,” Remus sighed, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius’ grin widened.

“My minion is encouraging and a good friend,” he said smugly, “What did _your_ minion say to Harry?”

“She froze Neville so they could leave the common room,” she quipped, and Sirius shut his mouth as James and Remus sniggered.

“Did you say the door was already ajar?” Remus asked, and Lily’s head snapped back down to the book, and her jaw dropped, proving as an answer to Remus’ question.

“So Snape’s already in there,” Lily sighed, shaking her head dejectedly.

“And has more than likely already gotten past Fluffy,” James finished, squeezing Lily’s shoulders comfortingly.

**“"Well, there you are," Harry said quietly, "Snape's already got past Fluffy."”**

“Way to state the obvious,” Sirius said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Remus chuckled.

“He was just letting your minion know Sirius. It’s obvious that his intellect is way behind that of mine,” Lily said, and Sirius scoffed as James and Remus continued to snigger.

“Ron has hidden genius,” Sirius defended, and Lily grinned at him.

“Everyone’s special in their own way, Sirius,” she said, her tone condescending, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at her.

“I’ll show _you_ whose minion is more awesome,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“I’m not denying the awesomeness of your minion,” she said, “I’m simply pointing out that my minions intellect far exceeds that of yours.”

“We’ll just see about that, Evans,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“Bring it, Black.”

“He knows he’s going to lose, right?” James whispered to Remus, who snickered.

**“Seeing the open door somehow seemed to impress upon all three of them what was facing them. Underneath the cloak, Harry turned to the other two.”**

“And here comes the speech,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes as James flushed lightly, causing Remus to snicker.

“I don’t get it,” Lily frowned, looking curiously between her boyfriends embarrassed expression and his friends’ half-amused half-exasperated ones.

“That’s a new one,” Sirius smirked, and Lily shot him a faux-annoyed look.

“I wouldn’t expect you to, Lily,” Remus said, smirking at her expression, “it’s a classic James thing, and considering you haven’t been on the friendliest terms with him until recently you wouldn’t understand,” he said and Lily nodded.

“So what’s the speech?” she asked, and Sirius grinned wickedly.

“Oh, just James attempting to protect everything and everyone around him because he’s a big strong masochistic man and we’re all delicate little flowers,” he said, winking at Lily, who quirked a brow at him.

“I’m assuming you didn’t choose the word flower to aggravate me, since that would be a really dangerous thing to do, suggesting I’m delicate and needing James to protect me,” she said simply, and Sirius smirked at her.

“What are you going to do about it, tiny?” he asked, and Lily raised her eyebrows challengingly as James grinned.

“Anyway,” Remus cut in, chuckling, “It seems as if James as passed his paranoia down to his child.”

“I’m sorry if caring about people is a crime,” James grumbled, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly.

“Oh shut up James, there’s caring and then there’s just plain irritating,” she said, and James pouted as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“"If you want to go back, I won't blame you," he said. "You can take the cloak, I won't need it now."”**

“That’s so stupid,” Lily said bluntly, and James flushed as the boys laughed, “No!” she laughed, wrapping her arms around James’, causing him to grin down at her, “I mean, it’s stupid of him to want to be alone in _this_ situation, especially when he would probably be a bit of a nuisance without _one_ of them,” she said, winking at Sirius, who gasped as James and Remus laughed.

“How dare you insult my minion to that extent,” he growled, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Oh I’m so scared,” she said, and Sirius grinned devilishly as James and Remus chuckled.

**“"Don't be stupid," said Ron.**

**"We're coming," said Hermione.”**

“Where have I heard that before?” James drawled, and the other two Marauders grinned at him.

**“Harry pushed the door open. As the door creaked, low, rumbling growls met their ears. All three of the dog's noses sniffed madly in their direction, even though it couldn't see them.”**

“Wait a minute,” Lily said, frowning, and the boys quirked their brows at her.

“Yes?” James asked, after a few moments of silence in which Lily continued to frown down at the book.

“Mrs. Norris can see through the cloak, but Fluffy can’t?” she asked curiously, looking up at James, “How does that work? Is it something special that cats have?” she asked.

“I, er, don’t know,” James said, and lily rolled her eyes amusedly

“You’d think with it being your cloak and all, you’d know the details,” she said simply, grinning cheekily up at James, who only stuck his tongue out at her.

“We’ll try it on a dog sometime,” James said, exchanging a quick glance with Sirius, who grinned.

**“"What's that at its feet?" Hermione whispered.**

**"Looks like a harp," said Ron.**

**"Snape must have left it there."**

**"It must wake up the moment you stop playing," said Harry. "Well, here goes..."”**

“You’d think if you wanted to get back out you’d keep the harp playing,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, “how thick can he get?”

“Who? Snape?” James asked, and Sirius nodded, “Well he’s never been the brightest,” he said.

“I wonder if Harry’s as talented a musician as he is a poet,” Sirius mused, grinning as Lily rolled her eyes.

**“He put Hagrid's flute to his lips and blew. It wasn't really a tune, but from the first note the beast's eyes began to droop.”**

“Oh, he must be incredibly talented,” Sirius gasped, placing his hand on his heart, “Aren’t you just so proud?” he asked Lily, who snorted as James and Remus laughed

“Honestly Sirius, he’s just blowing into the flute, anyone can do that,” she said.

“I don’t think mothers are supposed to be jealous of their children Evans,” Sirius chastised, and Lily shot him an exasperated look as James and Remus laughed.

“What makes you think I’m jealous?” she laughed, and Sirius shrugged

“Just the general irritated demeanor, and the bitterness during this scene,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly.

“The irritated demeanor is thanks to _you_ and your bloody interruptions,” she said, and Sirius beamed as James and Remus chuckled, “and the bitterness is because of what the three eleven year olds are doing,” she said, and Sirius shrugged.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he sung, causing the others to laugh.

**“Harry hardly drew breath. Slowly, the dog's growls ceased -- it tottered on its paws and fell to its knees, then it slumped to the ground, fast asleep.”**

“I’m not surprised he hardly drew a breath. I wouldn’t be able to breathe in that situation,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him an annoyed look as James and Remus laughed.

“I love that word,” Remus said suddenly, ad the other three turned to him, “slumped. It just sounds so relaxing,” he said, and both James and Sirius exchanged glances with each other as Lily giggled.

“Wow Remus, that was really deep,” she teased, and Remus scowled as James and Sirius laughed.

“At least it’s asleep,” James said, kissing Lily on top of her head, “that’s the first obstacle, passed.”

“All because of Harry’s brilliant musical abilities,” Sirius sniffed, causing Lily to scoff and look back at the book as James and Remus snickered.

**“"Keep playing," Ron warned Harry as they slipped out of the cloak and crept toward the trapdoor. They could feel the dog's hot, smelly breath as they approached the giant heads. "I think we'll be able to pull the door open," said Ron, peering over the dog's back. "Want to go first, Hermione?"”**

“How chivalrous,” Lily snorted, causing the boys to laugh.

“It’s not like he wouldn’t hold the door open for her,” James snickered, and Lily shook her head amusedly as Sirius and Remus continued to laugh.

“Because that’s knight in shining armor material right there,” Lily said, and James grinned.

“I hold doors open for you Lil,” he said, and she rolled her eyes, smiling.

“You know, dogs really do have the worst smelling breath,” Remus said, and Sirius grumbled.

“I take offense to that,” he said without thinking, his eyes widening as Lily quirked a brow at him and both James and Remus shot him warning looks.

“Because you’re a dog?” she asked, and Sirius swallowed

“Well, yeah,” he said, and she smirked.

“Well I already knew that,” she shrugged, and he chuckled nervously.

“Y-you did?” James asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Given his reputation, how could you not?” she asked, and the boys relaxed instantaneously.

**“"No, I don't!"**

**"All right." Ron gritted his teeth and stepped carefully over the dog's legs. He bent and pulled the ring of the trapdoor, which swung up and open.”**

“You have to admit,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a half-annoyed, half-amused look at the interruption, to which he only grinned, “She’s not doing a great job of avoiding feminism,” he said, and Lily scoffed.

“She’s not letting Ron use her, isn’t that avoiding it?” she asked, and Sirius shrugged.

“She’s also painting herself as a damsel,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“She is not. There’s nothing wrong with refusing to kill yourself first,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Touché,” James chuckled.

**“"What can you see?" Hermione said anxiously.**

**"Nothing -- just black -- there's no way of climbing down, we'll just have to drop." Harry, who was still playing the flute, waved at Ron to get his attention and pointed at himself.”**

“Why don’t you go look down the hole yourself little miss feminist?” Remus said, and the other three laughed.

“Of course Harry wants to go down the hole first,” Sirius drawled, “Potter men love the attention,” he said, grinning at his best friend, who squawked.

“That is _so-“_

“True,” Lily said, and James scowled at her as Remus and Sirius sniggered.

“He’s being noble,” James said, and Lily laughed.

“Oh, I know Harry’s not attention seeking. I was just saying you were,” she said cheekily, and James stuck his tongue out at her as the other two laughed.

“I’ve never seen such a dysfunctional relationship before,” Sirius snorted, and Remus laughed as the couple reddened slightly.

“It’s not dysfunctional,” Lily said, “If it were dysfunctional we wouldn’t be together.”

“It’s entertaining,” Remus agreed, and Lily laughed.

“If Harry stops playing the flute wont the beat awaken?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Hopefully they’re smart enough to remember toe hand the flute over,” she said.

“But wont it wake up the second you stop playing?” James asked, and Lily shuddered.

“I sincerely hope not,” she said, looking a tad worried.

**“"You want to go first? Are you sure?" said Ron.”**

“Oh yeah, he’s sure,” Sirius said, grinning at James, who scoffed as the other two laughed.

“ **"I don't know how deep this thing goes. Give the flute to Hermione so she can keep him asleep." Harry handed the flute over.”**

“Merlin, this kid is so bossy,” Lily said, and James snorted.

“That’s rich coming from you,” he said, and Lily shrieked in indignation as the three boys laughed.

“Thank you for finally defending my minions honour,” Sirius said, grinning at James, who shrugged

“I see you’ve chosen a side,” Lily said shortly, crossing her arms, “I understand,” she sniffed, wiping away an imaginary tear, and James rolled his eyes amusedly, kissing her on the cheek as Remus and Sirius laughed, “You cant just kiss this all better James,” she sniffed, and he ruffled her hair, grinning.

“Drama queen,” he chuckled, and she grinned at him.

“I have to keep up with you lot somehow,” she shrugged, and the boys laughed.

“Nice to know you’ve accepted your position as one of us,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer,” she said, and the boys pouted.

“You calling us your enemies Lil?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded.

“Everyone in my life is either friend or foe,” she said, and James grinned, “And as far as you lot are concerned, we’ll always be strictly foe,” she finished, and the boys pouted once more.

**“In the few seconds' silence, the dog growled and twitched, but the moment Hermione began to play, it fell back into its deep sleep.”**

“Oh thank goodness,” Lily said, taking a deep breath, “I was so worried it was going to wake up and maul them.”

“Who were you most worried about?” Sirius asked, grinning at her, and she rolled her eyes at him.

“Ronald obviously,” she drawled, and the other two sniggered.

“I knew you cared about me!” Sirius gasped, resting his hand on his heart.

“When did I say that?” she snorted.

“You said you were worried about Ron!” he said happily, and Lily quirked a brow at him, exchanging a ‘your-best-mate-is-mad’ look with James, who only grinned down at her and shrugged.

“Unless you’re suddenly an eleven year old redhead, I in no way implied that I cared about you,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus laughed.

**“Harry climbed over it and looked down through the trapdoor. There was no sign of the bottom.”**

“Always an encouraging prospect,” Remus said sarcastically, and the other three snorted almost in unison, “Merlin Lily, you sound like one of us now,” he gasped.

“I’m going to go jump off the Astronomy Tower,” she announced, and the three boys sniggered

“Come on Lil-bit, we’re not that bad,” James chuckled, ruffling her hair.

“We’re just a bunch of guys who need someone to love us!” Sirius sighed, tugging on his beanie to add to his pathetic image, “It’s a tragic tale”

“I’m sure,” Lily chuckled, shaking her head fondly.

“If you jump off the Astronomy Tower, I’d miss you!” Remus said, and Lily grinned at him.

“Oh Remus!” she squealed, jumping up and throwing herself on him in a giant hug, causing him to laugh and stand up, spinning her around in a circle.

“She’s never that affectionate with me,” James grumbled as Remus put the giggling Lily down, who winked at James.

“She’s always more affectionate than that with me,” Sirius said proudly, and James smirked at him.

“I’m sure she is Padfoot,” he said, and Sirius nodded.

“It’s the forbidden love, you see,” Lily said, throwing herself down on the sofa next to James and throwing him a cheeky grin, “It’s a much more interesting story than two people who can’t stop arguing somehow ending up together because they read a mysterious book about their future child,” she said, and James shot her a sarcastic look as she grinned cheekily at him.

“Please,” James snorted, running his hand through his hair, “forbidden love is so mundane in comparison to our epic story,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“Yes, but forbidden love is so exciting,” she said, grinning at Sirius, who winked back at her as James and Remus sniggered.

“I’ll show you exciting, Evans,” Sirius winked, and Lily shook her head fondly as James shot Sirius a dirty look.

“I’ll have you know,” James said, “I read a muggle forbidden love story once,” eh said, and Lily raised her brows at him.

“You _did_?”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” James snorted, “It was for Muggle Studies, I had no choice.”

“What did you read?” she asked excitedly, and James frowned.

“Romeo and Juliet, or something,” he shrugged, and Lily snorted.

“That was the worst story ever,” she said, and the three boys laughed, “There’s forbidden love and there’s overdone teenage infatuation,” she said, and James snorted, “I’m sorry James, but I refuse to murder myself for you,” she said, and James chuckled, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“I wouldn’t want you to,” he said, and Lily pouted.

“But what would I do without you?” she asked, clutching her hands to her heart, causing James to grin at her as Sirius and Remus laughed

“Someone’s really getting out of their shell now,” Sirius said, “I’m so glad Evans. You’re a lot more fun when you’re insane.”

“I am not insane,” Lily said as the three boys laughed.

“You are a little bit insane, love,” James said, and she glared at him.

“ _You’re_ insane,” she huffed, and James smirked.

“What a witty comeback! Really Lil, way to hit me where it hurts,” he sniffed, and she started to whack him in the arm as the other two laughed, “Oi!” he laughed, ducking from another one of her tiny fists, “Stop it! Violent _banshee_ ,” he chuckled before grabbing her two hands in one of his.

“I hate your bloody Quidditch reflexes,” she grumbled, pulling her hands out of his and grabbing the book from beside her as the other two laughed.

“But I bet you don’t hate his bloody Quidditch muscles,” Remus teased, and Lily shot him an annoyed look as James and Sirius sniggered.

**“He lowered himself through the hole until he was hanging on by his fingertips. Then he looked up at Ron and said, "If anything happens to me, don't follow. Go straight to the Owlery and send Hedwig to Dumbledore, right?"**

**"Right," said Ron.”**

“Honestly, that’s all he could have said? His friend may die, and all he can say is ‘right’?” Lily scoffed, and shot a glare at Sirius.

“Why are you glaring at me?” Sirius squawked, his hands shooting up to his beanie, “Haven’t you tortured me enough for one day?”

“No such thing,” she winked, causing James and Remus to snicker, “Besides, he is _your_ minion, so who else would I shoot dirty looks to?” she asked, and Sirius snorted.

“So when it’s something bad, it relates to me, but something good, like care, doesn’t relate to me,” he stated, and Lily grinned.

“Naturally.”

“Does no-one else find it rather disconcerting how chilled out this boy is with the prospect of dying?” Remus asked, shuddering, “It’s so eerie, and just plain weird.”

“Well, he did beat death once,” Sirius shrugged, “maybe he’s a junkie.”

“He is not a junkie!” Lily protested, earning a sly grin from Sirius.

“Well Evans, he does some pretty risky and dangerous things,” he said, “I think you should consider the possibility of your son being a junkie”

“I refuse,” she said, and Sirius smirked as James and Remus laughed.

“I suppose it’s settled then,” Remus snickered, “If she refused, Harry cant be a junkie,” Remus said, and Sirius smirked at Lily’s indignant expression.

“Stop _teasing_ me Lupin,” she said, flipping the page in the book.

“Make me, Evans,” Remus retorted, grinning.

“I must say Evans, I’m real glad you decided to split your James hatred between the two of us instead of unloading all of it onto just one. Makes it more humane,” Sirius said, and James raised his eyebrows at him.

“Her James hatred?”

“All that hate can’t just disappear, she’s just directing it at something else,” Sirius said, “Thanks for being merciful,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus snickered

“Anything for you,” she said monotonously, causing the three boys to snicker.

**“"See you in a minute, I hope...”  And Harry let go. Cold, damp air rushed past him as he fell down, down, down and -- FLUMP.”**

“Seriously?” James snorted, and the three turned to him, “What kind of body makes a ‘Flump’ sound?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“He’s not built enough for him to make a ‘boom’ sound,” Sirius said, and James’ nose wrinkled in distaste.

“This kid better build some muscle, I cannot have a child whose body makes ‘flump’ sounds when he falls,” he said, and Sirius smirked.

“You should blame Evans,” he said, and Lily scoffed.

“Why is everything my fault?” she asked, and Sirius grinned.

“I could ask you the same question, my love.”

“That’s completely different,” she said, and Sirius scoffed, to which she only smirked.

“Well you are rather tiny Lil,” Remus said, “It explains Harry’s inability to make masculine falling noises,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“So it’s your fault!” James gasped, and Lily elbowed him playfully in the side..

“You’re the one who was stick skinny in First Year,” she retorted, and James grinned.

“But I bulked up!”

“And Harry will too,” she shrugged, and James smirked.

“So you agree that I’ve bulked up?” he asked, and Lily flushed as the other two boys sniggered.

“I couldn’t give a rats arse,” she said, and James grinned.

“Somehow I don’t find that entirely convincing,” he said, ruffling her hair playfully.

“Would you _quit it_?” she laughed, running her hand through her hair, “You’re making it all knotted.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Sirius said naughtily, wagging his eyebrows at Lily, who flushed brilliantly as James’ wicked smile grew, an unmistakably dirty twinkle in his eye.

“I would rather not think about this,” Remus said, clearing his throat uncomfortably, “Can we please move on with the story?”

“Prude,” Sirius teased, but allowed Lily to continue anyway.

**“With a funny, muffled sort of thump he landed on something soft. He sat up and felt around, his eyes not used to the gloom. It felt as though he was sitting on some sort of plant.”**

“Do you think the enchantments go by class?” Lily asked suddenly, and Sirius smirked.

“Who’s interrupting now?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes before turning to Remus, the most rational.

“Do you?” she asked, and Remus frowned in thought.

“It seems like it,” he said, “I mean, Fluffy was obviously-”

“Care of Magical Creatures, yeah,” Lily interrupted, and Remus regarded her with an amused look, “Sorry!” she squeaked, hiding her face as the boys laughed, “I tend to interrupt when I get excited.”

“That’s quite alright Lil,” Remus chuckled.

“He does the same,” James said, and Remus stuck his tongue out at him as Lily and Sirius laughed.

“So that’s Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology down,” Sirius said, and the other three nodded.

“I’m kind of frightened of what Defense will bring,” Lily said in a small voice, and worried looks shot across the boys’ faces.

“Snape went by,” Sirius said suddenly, “he must have defeated whatever it was. Never fear,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“I hope you’re right,” she said, pulling her knees up to her chest.

“Hold on,” James said, frowning, “What’s so dangerous about a plant that catches you when you fall?” he asked, frowning down at Lily, who instantly turned back to the book.

**“"It's okay!" he called up to the light the size of a postage stamp, which was the open trapdoor, "it's a soft landing, you can jump!" Ron followed right away. He landed, sprawled next to Harry.**

**"What's this stuff?" were his first words.”**

“That is a very good question Ronald,” Lily said, and Sirius grinned.

“Look at you, getting along with my minion. I’m so happy,” he sighed, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus sniggered.

“I feel so stupid,” Lily whined, and the boys’ eyebrows shot up amusedly

“Well that’s a new one,” James said, kissing her lightly on her temple, “Why do you feel stupid Lil?”

“Because I can’t figure out what kind of plant it is,” she huffed, and then her eyes brightened, “Hold on, I’ll just run upstairs and get my-”

“You’ll do no such thing,” Remus snorted, “We’re all going to figure it out together,” eh said, and Lily huffed.

“But Remus-”

“Swots really don’t take not knowing an answer well, do they?” Sirius asked James, who shook his head solemnly, “They’ll probably end up killing themselves over it,” he continued, and James nodded sadly.

“It’s natural selection at work, Pads,” James said, winking playfully at Lily, who shoved him, hard, in the chest as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Fine, James Potter, I’ll just die on you then, if it’s natural selection,” she said, her eyes glinting amusedly, and James pouted.

**“"Dunno, some sort of plant thing. I suppose it's here to break the fall. Come on, Hermione!" The distant music stopped.”**

“Hermione be careful!” Lily squealed, and James rolled his eyes at Remus, who smirked at him.

“Lil, Hermione’s right next to the trapdoor, all she has to do is jump,” he said, and hse sighed.

“But it’s so dangerous,” she said sadly, leaning her head on James’ shoulder, “And they’re only eleven. Why are all the Professors at this school so idiotic?” she asked, and the boys burst out laughing.

“You calling McGonagall batty, mini-Minerva?” Sirius asked, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the other two burst out laughing.

“Back on that again, are we?” she asked, and Sirius grinned, nodding happily.

**“There was a loud bark from the dog, but Hermione had already jumped.”**

“Oh thank goodness,” Lily sighed, and James shook his head amusedly, rubbing her arm in a soothing manner.

“Honestly Lil, you’ll give yourself grey hair if you worry so much,” he said, and she pouted at him.

“Would you break up with me if I had grey hair?” she asked. James made a big show of thinking about it, causing Lily to huff and shove at him as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“She landed on Harry's other side. "We must be miles under the school,” she said.**

**"Lucky this plant thing's here, really," said Ron.**

**"Lucky?" shrieked Hermione. "Look at you both!"”**

“What? What’s wrong with them?” James asked, frowning, and Lily shot him an irritated look.

“How can I answer your question if you wont let me read?” she asked, and he grinned down at her.

“Sorry love.”

“You can shove your sorry up your bum,” she said, and turned away from him to face the book once more as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“What’s it with you and telling James to shove things up his bum?” Sirius laughed, and Lily flushed, shrugging.

**“She leapt up and struggled toward a damp wall. She had to struggle because the moment she had landed, the plant had started to twist snakelike tendrils around her ankles.”**

“Devils Snare,” Lily exclaimed, and James looked at her, slightly alarmed yet still amused, as she bounced in her seat, “Remus! Remus, it’s Devils Snare!”

“Yes, Lily, it is,” Remus chuckled, grinning at her.

“Now figure out how to beat it,” James said, and Sirius snorted.

“Easy. Shine a light at it,” he said, and Lily raised her eyebrows at him, “Don’t look so bloody _shocked_ Evans, I pay attention on occasion,” he said, and Lily giggled.

“Pay attention, or think up ways to prank people and research how to stop the prank?” she asked, and the boys flushed as she grinned knowingly, “I thought so. Glad you lot didn’t carry through with it, people could have died.”

“We were only going to put it in the Slytherin Common Room!” James protested, and Lily whacked his arm.

“That’s a _terrible_ idea!”

“What?” James squawked, “It’s bloody brilliant! It was mine!”

“My point exactly,” she said.

**“As for Harry and Ron, their legs had already been bound tightly in long creepers without their noticing.”**

“How do you not notice a plant winding around your legs in a death grip?” Lily almost shrieked, and the boys choked back their laughter.

“Goodness woman, stop interrupting the story,” Sirius chuckled.

“But honestly, Sirius,” she said, turning to face him.

“I will be honestly serious,” he said, and Lily shot him a sour look before turning to James instead, causing Sirius to protest, but she ignored it as James grinned and Remus sniggered.

“Wouldn’t you notice if something wound its way around your legs?” she asked, and James grinned.

“Yes, I would, happy?” he asked, and Lily glared at him.

“Remus?”

“Yes, Lil, I would notice,” he said, and Lily nodded.

“Idiot boys,” she said, earning yells of indignation from both James and Sirius, “Oh please you two. Just _try_ to come up with an excuse. Try it. I dare you,” she said, and the two boys exchanged looks before sighing.

“Fine, it was idiotic,” James grumbled, and Lily smiled, satisfied.

“Now no more interruptions Evans,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes at him before turning back to the book.

**“Hermione had managed to free herself before the plant got a firm grip on her. Now she watched in horror as the two boys fought to pull the plant off them, but the more they strained against it, the tighter and faster the plant wound around them.”**

“They shouldn’t be fighting the damn plant off,” Remus grumbled, and Sirius huffed as Lily laughed.

“Didn’t I just say not to interrupt?” he asked, and Lily grinned.

“I believe you specifically told _me_ not to interrupt Sirius,” she said, and Sirius scowled at her as Remus and James laughed, “Besides, you’re one to talk Beanie,” she said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her, his hand shooting back up to fiddle with the hat on his head.

“You ever going to take that off and show us what she did, mate?” James asked, grinning widely now, and Sirius snorted.

“Not in your wildest dreams,” he said, and Lily grinned, “I’m not leaving this common room until it wears off.”

“Will it?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded.

“Midnight.”

“Fine Sirius, just starve till then,” James said, and Sirius grinned.

“I have the house elves!”

“I told them not to come up here till after midnight,” Lily mumbled, and Sirius gaped as Remus and James sniggered.

“EVANS!”

“They were more than happy to listen,” she shrugged, and Sirius groaned loudly.

“I don’t want to go to dinner like this!”

“Well, then, don’t eat,” Lily said simply, and Sirius pouted, crossing his arms, as his friends continued to find amusement in his misery.

**“"Stop moving!" Hermione ordered them. "I know what this is -- it's Devil's Snare!"”**

“Thank goodness she’s there,” Sirius said, and Lily gasped, “yes, Evans, get off your high horse, I admitted it.”

“Call _The Prophet!_ ” she yelled, and Sirius rolled his eyes, fighting a smile, as Lily grinned cheekily at him and the other two boys laughed, James intertwining his fingers with Lily’s.

“At least she advised them to stop moving,” Remus sighed.

“I sincerely hope she remembers how to ‘fight’ them off,” Lily said, and James snorted.

“She’s the Gryffindor know-it-all, she probably has the bloody textbook memorized,” he said, and Lily squeezed his hand playfully, causing him to laugh.

“Why are you two so touchy-feeley this chapter?” Sirius asked, glaring at Lily, who grinned back at him.

“Jealous Sirius?” she asked, and he smirked.

“Oh yes. I’d be a lot better off if James would be willing to share,” he said, and James snorted.

“Not on your life.”

“That’s a bit possessive, Prongs. I don’t think Lily likes being treated like an object,” Remus chastised, and Lily smirked.

“Yeah James, I don’t like being treated like an object.”

“Well deal with it,” he said, and Lily huffed.

“You’re so bossy,” she grumbled, and he barked a laugh.

“You’re one to talk.”

“Shut up, I’m going to read.”

“Exhibit A,” James gestured, and Lily’s lips twitched with laughter as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

**“"Oh, I'm so glad we know what it's called, that's a great help," snarled Ron, leaning back, trying to stop the plant from curling around his neck.”**

Sirius and James started sniggering madly as Lily rolled her eyes.

“He can’t find a shred of respect for the girl who’s probably going to save his life?” she asked, and Sirius snorted.

“Honestly Evans, that’s against a man’s ethical guidelines,” he scoffed, and Lily quirked a delicate eyebrow at him.

“Ethical guidelines?” she echoed, and Sirius nodded.

“Precisely.”

“How is displaying respect a violation of ethical guidelines?”

“It’s unethical to let women like Hermione have all the power,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted as James and Remus laughed.

“It’s either Hermione has the power, or they all die,” she shrugged, and Sirius huffed.

“I don’t like this bargain,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“I win,” she said, turning to grin up at James, who grinned down at her.

**“"Shut up, I'm trying to remember how to kill it!" said Hermione.**

**"Well, hurry up, I can't breathe!" Harry gasped, wrestling with it as it curled around his chest.”**

“That does sound rather distressing, do hurry up Hermione,” Sirius muttered, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two boys sniggered, “Just lightening the mood here, Evans,” he said, and Lily glared at him.

“My son may be dying, and you’re trying to lighten the mood?” she said, phrasing more like a statement than a question.

“Obviously, what else are friends for?” Sirius snorted, and Lily shook her head amusedly.

**“"Devil's Snare, Devil's Snare... what did Professor Sprout say?-- it likes the dark and the damp””**

“LIGHT A DAMN FIRE,” Remus yelled, and the other three burst out laughing

“Calm yourself mate, cant have you yelling at your Shemus,” James chastised, and Remus snorted humorlessly as Lily and Sirius laughed.

“If she _was_ a bloody _Shemus_ she’d light the _bloody fire_ ,” Remus huffed, picking at a loose thread on the armchair.

“I’m sure she’ll light a fire eventually mate,” Sirius said, and Remus glared at his amused tone as Lily and James laughed.

“Yeah, when they’re _dead,_ ” he grumbled, and then shot Lily a look, “I thought Gryffindor know-it-all’s knew _everything_?” he asked, and Lily smirked as the other two boys sniggered.

“We have our flaws Remus, believe it or not,” she said, and James gasped.

“FLAWS?” he yelled, his eyes wide, “Oh Merlin, my world is falling apart,” he gasped, and Lily snorted as Sirius sniggered and Remus smirked.

“Oh shut up you bloody hypocrite,” she laughed, and James grinned.

“Why Lily, I have no flaws!” he laughed, and Lily shot him a look as his friends grinned.

“Mate, she’s found more than enough flaws with you, or have you forgotten those fabulously witty rejections?” Sirius said, and James glowered at him as Lily and Remus sniggered.

**“"So light a fire!" Harry choked.”**

“Brilliant, this boy. Just _brill_ ,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted.

“Is he the Hemus?” he teased, and Remus glowered at his cheeky face as James and Lily laughed.

“Wouldn’t a Hemus just be a Remus?” Lily asked, and Sirius made a pondering noise, stroking his imaginary beard in thought, causing Lily to giggle.

“I suppose one could assume that, however we cant go around calling people ‘a Remus’, so I suppose a male version of Remus would have to be a Hemus,” Sirius said, and James sniggered.

“ ‘A male version of Remus’?” he sniggered, “Because Remus isn’t a male?”

“Obviously not,” Sirius snickered, and Remus shot them both annoyed looks as Lily laughed.

**“"Yes -- of course -- but there's no wood!" Hermione cried, wringing her hands.”**

Lily smirked as the boys hooted with laughter.

“There’s…no…wood!” Sirius managed to choke out, his laughter so strong that no sound was escaping his convulsing body

“Best line in the whole book,” James wheezed, his eyes bright with mirth.

“I take everything back, Evans,” Sirius said, and Lily quirked a brow at him, “You Muggle know-it-all’s are _quite_ a hoot,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly

“I don’t know if that’s an insult or a compliment,” she said.

“This has to be the funniest girl ever,” Sirius said, shaking his head, “Oh Hermione, I’ve never been so thankful to have you around.”

“Oh shut your traps,” Lily grumbled as the boys burst into laughter at James’ muttered ‘there’s no wood’, “give the girl a break would you? Us muggleborns are highly confused.”

“I can un-confuse you!” James volunteered, winking at her, and she glared at him as the other two sniggered.

**“"HAVE YOU GONE MAD?" Ron bellowed. "ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?"”**

“Forever the calm, levelheaded one in a situation of crisis, isn’t he?” Lily asked, and the boys burst out laughing.

“These redheads are so good with their temper,” James mused, ruffling Lily’s head as she flushed, causing the other boys to laugh.

“Evidently,” Sirius said, fingering his beanie rather irritably, causing Lily to grin at him.

“That was my calm, levelheaded reaction,” she shrugged, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her smiling face.

“That was your bloody redheaded reaction,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“Guilty,” she shrugged innocently, leaning on James in mock-fear as Sirius scowled at her, causing James and Remus to laugh, James’ arm winding around her waist, holding her against his side.

**“"Oh, right!" said Hermione, and she whipped out her wand, waved it, muttered something, and sent a jet of the same bluebell flames she had used on Snape at the plant.”**

“What an intelligent response,” James chuckled, and Lily elbowed him in the stomach, causing more amusement than damage.

“Don’t make the beast testy,” Sirius warned, grinning at Lily, “She’s prone to intelligent responses too!”

“Oh, you lot,” she huffed, crossing her arms, and the two boys grinned.

“She didn’t finish her sentence,” James gasped, “But it’s okay Lil, I know what you meant to say was, ‘oh, you lot, what would I ever do without you?’” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“‘Oh, you lot, I love you so much!’” Remus added, smirking.

“‘Oh, you lot are the most significant things in my world,” Sirius said.

“‘Oh, you lot better shut up so that I can read,’” Lily said, and the boys snickered as she shook her head in amusement.

**“In a matter of seconds, the two boys felt it loosening its grip as it cringed away from the light and warmth.  Wriggling and flailing, it unraveled itself from their bodies, and they were able to pull free.”**

“Was the wriggling and flailing the boys, or the plant?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged, her expression one of relief.

“I don’t care,” she said, “At least they’re out of the bloody plant.”

“Don’t be so mean to plants Lily,” Remus said, shaking his head disapprovingly, “Plants have feelings too.”

“Remus has a thing for plants,” James stage-whispered, and Remus scowled at him as Sirius and Lily burst out laughing.

“I’m not sure that’s entirely legal, Rem,” Lily said, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Alas, it’s a forbidden love,” he drawled, and Lily grinned at him.

“Just like ours Lily!” Sirius exclaimed, and Lily giggled.

“I think Remus’ feelings for the plants are stronger than mine for you though,” she said, and Sirius shrugged.

“That’s okay, Remus has been in love with plants longer than we’ve been in love,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered.

“So when we reach that point you think I’ll feel more strongly for you than Remus does for the plants?” she asked, and Sirius snorted.

“Absolutely,” he said, and winked, “Plants can hardly do half the stuff I can,” he said, and Lily reddened slightly at the dirty look in his eyes.

“Can they Remus?” she asked, and Remus gaped as Sirius and James burst out laughing.

“We’re taking our relationship slowly,” he snorted, and Lily nodded in understanding.

“You’re such a gentleman Remus,” James teased, and Remus snorted

“At least one of us is,” he said, giving James a pointed look, his eyes flickering to the hickey still residing on Lily’s neck that they’d noticed in the kitchen that morning. Lily flushed and brought her hand up to cover it, causing Sirius to snigger.

“There’s no fun in being a gentleman,” James said wickedly, and Lily flushed as he nudged her, turning the page of the book as if he weren’t talking, “Eh, Lil?” she continued to remain quiet, causing James to snicker and lean down to whisper in her ear.

“I think Prongs gets extra points for making her turn _so_ red,” Sirius sniggered once James had lifted his head, “Merlin mate, what did you say to her?” he teased, and James grinned devilishly as Lily’s blush continued to deepen.

“Why don’t we just hurry up and finish the chapter?” James asked, and Lily closed her eyes as Remus and Sirius snickered dirtily.

“Oh aren’t we the…active ones,” Remus said, and Lily glared at him as James grinned widely.

**“"Lucky you pay attention in Herbology, Hermione," said Harry as he joined her by the wall, wiping sweat off his face.”**

“Maybe you should too,” Lily grumbled, still red as a tomato, causing the boys to laugh.

“And where’s the fun in that?” James asked.

“There are so many more wonderful things youc an be doing in Herbology,” Sirius said, and James smirked.

“I can think of some.”

“Yes, I’m sure you can, can we just move on?” Lily squeaked, earning knowing smirks from the boys.

“In a rush to get somewhere, are we Evans?” Sirius teased, and Lily shot him a nasty look.

“Yes, to my dormitory, because I cant stand seeing you lots’ stupid faces anymore,” she grumbled, and the boys gasped.

“Lily!” Remus said, placing his hand on his heart, “Surely you don’t mean that!”

“I really do,” she said, and James sighed.

“I understand that you’ve invited me up to your dormitory, but you cant just insult me after that to cover it up and still expect me to come up and-”

“SHUT _UP_!” Lily laughed, whacking James in the arm as the three boys burst out laughing, “You are in _no way_ invited up into my dormitory!”

“Ours will probably be available,” Remus said, and Lily glared at him as James grinned.

“Thanks mate!” he said, incredibly chipper, and Lily groaned.

“Save it for later, Evans,” Sirius said, and she flushed as the boys laughed again.

“ _Stop_ with the dirty implications,” she whined, and James sighed.

“It’s not implying if we know they’re going to happen, love.”

“You have no proof,” she retorted grumpily.

“Oh, but we will,” Sirius sung.

**“"Yeah," said Ron, "and lucky Harry doesn't lose his head in a crisis -- 'there's no wood,' honestly."”**

“So bloody rude,” Lily grumbled, and the boys laughed.

“So if I insult your kind, you get mad, but if Ron insults your kind, all you say is ‘so bloody rude’?” Sirius asked, “That hardly seems fair,” he snorted, and Lily smirked.

“Yes, Sirius, but I still have to give Ronald the benefit of the doubt, as he is my sons best friend,” she said, and Sirius squawked.

“I’M YOUR FUTURE HUSBANDS BEST FRIEND!” he roared, and Lily rolled her eyes, blushing (once again), as James and Remus laughed, “I SHOULD BE MORE IMPORTANT!”

“I hardly see why,” she teased, and Sirius huffed.

“Prongs!”

“Lily, you have to be nice to Sirius,” James sighed, his eyes twinkling playfully.

“You know,” Remus said, “a lot of jokes can be made out of this ‘there’s no wood’ statement,” he said, and Lily gaped as Sirius and James grinned devilishly

“ _REMUS!_ ” Lily scolded, flushing brilliantly, and Remus grinned.

“Don’t worry Lil, there’ll be wood later,” he said, and Lily hid her face in her hands as the three boys howled with laughter.

**“"This way," said Harry, pointing down a stone passageway, which was the only way forward.”**

“Way to state the obvious,” James snorted, and Lily nudged him.

“Don’t knock my son,” she said, and James grinned at her.

“He’s _my_ son too you know,” he said, and she shook her head.

“I have many lovers,” she said, and James rolled his eyes as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“None of your other lovers are nearly as brilliant as I am,” he said, “Therefore the brains in Harry wouldn’t have been what they are.”

“He could have inherited the hidden intelligence gene from any of the others,” she said simply.

“Aren’t you the devious one, using your intelligence to seduce those who are less fortunate,” James teased, and Lily smirked.

“A witch has to do what a witch has to do,” she said simply, and James smirked, “There’s always that one,” she said, nodding to Sirius, “we’ve got a forbidden love going on the side, how do you know it’s not his child?” she asked.

“Because he’s Sirius,” he said, and Lily huffed.

“You saying I’m not good enough for Sirius?” she asked, and Sirius winked at her. James stuck his tongue out at him.

“We’ll get a paternity test,” James said.

“And if it’s not your child?” she asked, and James chuckled.

“It would be a joke, obviously,” he said, “which would mean that he’s a hilarious kid, so he’d have to be mine,” he shrugged, and Lily sighed.

“True. None of my other lovers are nearly as asinine,” she said sadly, and James nudged her shoulder with his, causing her to laugh.

“Why are they always bickering?” Remus sighed, laughter evident in his eyes.

“It’s flirtatious bickering,” Sirius said, “It’s their own personal form of foreplay,” he said. James and Remus laughed in response, Lily simply glaring at Sirius.

**“All they could hear apart from their footsteps was the gentle drip of water trickling down the walls. The passageway sloped downward, and Harry was reminded of Gringotts. With an unpleasant jolt of the heart, he remembered the dragons said to be guarding vaults in the wizards' bank. If they met a dragon, a fully-grown dragon -- Norbert had been bad enough...”**

“There wouldn’t be a dragon, would there?” Lily asked, slightly panicked.

“If our class theory is correct, there couldn’t be, because the Care of Magical Creatures obstacle was Fluffy,” James said comfortingly, and Lily nodded.

“What about Defense?” she asked, and Remus shrugged.

“Dragons aren’t necessarily _dark_ ,” he said, but not with enough certainty to make Lily feel comfortable.

“I thought you had the answers to everything, Muggle,” Sirius teased, and Lily grinned as the boys laughed.

**“"Can you hear something?" Ron whispered. Harry listened. A soft rustling and clinking seemed to be coming from up ahead. "Do you think it's a ghost?"”**

“Haven’t they been around ghosts enough to know what they sound like?” Lily asked, exasperated, and the boys chuckled.

“Apparently not,” James chuckled.

“I thought you were against interruptions,” Sirius teased, and Lily shrugged.

“As I’ve told you before, Outcast, I only despise _your_ idiotic interruptions,” she said simply, and Sirius playfully scowled at her as the others laughed.

“I have to second Lily on that,” Remus said, and Sirius gaped.

“ _Moony_!”

“I’m sorry Sirius,” Remus said in an overtly sweet tone, and Sirius scowled at him.

**“"I don't know... sounds like wings to me."”**

“Ghosts don’t have wings,” James snorted, “They float”

“Astute observation mate,” Sirius said cheekily

“Yes, absolutely spiffing,” Remus added, grinning at James’ embarrassed flush

“Oh bugger off,” he grumbled, and the two laughed.

“Ghosts _could_ have wings,” Lily reasoned, “But even if they did they wouldn’t make any noise.”

“Geniuses, both of them,” Sirius drawled, and Lily shook her head amusedly as Remus and Sirius continued to make fun of the couple.

**“"There's light ahead -- I can see something moving."”**

“DON’T GO INTO THE LIGHT!” Sirius suddenly yelled, causing Lily to jump rather violently, which in turn led to the three boys howling with laughter.

“Sirius, there absolutely NO NEED TO YELL!” Lily yelled, and Sirius smirked.

“Maybe you should take your own advice Lil,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Yes but in my case there’s usually a reason to yell. What, with James and your idiocy, I’m surprised I manage to talk at a normal volume,” she said, and the two respective boys pouted at her as Remus grinned.

“You stop yelling after a while,” he said sympathetically, and James snorted.

“You just progress to hissy fits,” he said, and Remus shot James an exasperated look as Lily laughed.

**“They reached the end of the passageway and saw before them a brilliantly lit chamber, its ceiling arching high above them. It was full of small, jewel-bright birds, fluttering and tumbling all around the room. On the opposite side of the chamber was a heavy wooden door.”**

“Birds?” James asked, frowning, “I don’t see the difficulty of this one, do you just, walk to the doors?”

“Maybe the floors like quicksand?” Lily suggested, and Remus shrugged.

“Then what to the birds do?”

“Peck you alive while you sink?” Lily mused, and the boys laughed.

“That’s a rather gruesome thought for such an innocent girl,” Sirius chuckled, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“I am _not_ innocent,” she said, and Sirius smirked at her, causing her to flush.

“Oh, we know,” he said, sending James a wink, causing Lily to huff irritably.

“Stop picking on me,” she grumbled, and James laughed.

“She’s right guys,” he said, putting his arm around her, “We have all of tomorrow for that!”

“Hear, hear!” Remus and Sirius cheered, as Lily glared at the grinning James.

**“"Do you think they'll attack us if we cross the room?" said Ron.**

**"Probably," said Harry. "They don't look very vicious, but I suppose if they all swooped down at once... well, there's no other choice... I'll run."”**

“Stop bloody risking your life first!” Lily squeaked, and the boys laughed.

“You’d prefer him to be a coward?” James gasped, and Lily snorted.

“I’d prefer him alive,” she retorted, and the boys sniggered.

“She’s clever,” Sirius said, “I think we should keep her around.”

“Thanks ever so much for that glowing compliment,” Lily muttered, and Sirius beamed at her.

“Witty too!” he said excitedly.

“It sounds like you’re bird shopping,” Remus snorted, and Lily laughed.

“It does, doesn’t it? Very prostitution-like,” she agreed, and the boys laughed.

“Implying something, Evans?” Sirius teased, and Lily laughed.

“In your _dreams,_ Black,” she shot back, grinning.

**“He took a deep breath, covered his face with his arms, and sprinted across the room. He expected to feel sharp beaks and claws tearing at him any second, but nothing happened. He reached the door untouched.”**

“That was the most anticlimactic thing I’ve ever read,” Sirius grumbled, and the others burst out laughing.

“He must have looked so stupid, sprinting across the room, arms up in defense, only for nothing to happen,” James snickered, and Lily nudged his side with her elbow.

“Shut up,” she said, and Sirius sniggered.

“Mummy’s getting testy,” he stage whispered to Remus, who grinned as Lily glowered at Sirius.

“I don’t see what the obstacle is in this,” Lily sighed, and the boys shrugged, “There was no quicksand or attacking birds!”

“Well, maybe this has to do with the door?” James suggested, and Lily quirked a brow at him, as if to ask ‘how so?’, “Well maybe the birds attack when you get to the door.”

“I don’t see how that’s much of an enchantment, though,” Remus said, frowning, “What’s the obstacle?”

“Pain?” Sirius suggested, and James snorted.

“That seems too simple though,” Lily huffed.

“What if the door’s locked though?” Remus asked, and James frowned.

“It wouldn’t be as easy as ‘Alohamora’ would it?” he asked, and the others shrugged.

“I doubt it would be,” Lily said slowly.

**“He pulled the handle, but it was locked. The other two followed him. They tugged and heaved at the door, but it wouldn't budge, not even when Hermione tried her Alohomora charm.”**

“Well that answers that question,” Lily grumbled, and the boys chuckled.

“This challenge has McGonagall written all over it,” Sirius said, and the others quirked their brows at her, “Only that woman would be able to confuse everyone so greatly,” he said, and the others laughed.

“Well what do you have to do? Transfigure one of the birds into a key?” James asked, and Remus snorted.

“There must be thousands of them, how would you know which one?” he asked, and the rest shrugged.

**“"Now what?" said Ron.”**

“That is a very good question, minion of mine,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

“Lovely how he’s asking for other people’s opinions as opposed to thinking for himself, isn’t it?” Lily said innocently, and Sirius scoffed as James and Remus sniggered.

“He’s trying to develop their minds as creative thinkers,” Sirius retorted and Lily grinned.

“Sure he is Sirius,” she said condescendingly

“I don’t appreciate your tone, Evans,” he said, and Lily winked.

**“"These birds... they can't be here just for decoration," said Hermione. They watched the birds soaring overhead, glittering -- glittering.”**

“How very observant of you,” Remus snorted

“Now’s not the time to get poetic, Potter,” Sirius sighed, and Lily shushed them, frowning, “Did you just shush me?” Sirius gasped, and Lily shushed him again.

“She’s thinking, give her a second,” Remus said, “What’s on your mind there Lil?”

“Birds don’t _glitter_ ,” she said, and the boys froze.

“Well I feel like an idiot,” Sirius said, and James smirked.

“Nothing new there, is there?” he teased.

“If they’re not birds, then what are they?” Remus asked.

“Well, given the locked door, I’d say they’re flying keys,” James said simply, and Lily squeaked.

“But how do they know which _one_?” she asked exasperatedly, and James shrugged.

“Oh, McGonagall,” Sirius said, shaking his head fondly, causing the others to chuckle.

“Hopefully Harry will figure it out,” Lily said, and Remus grinned.

“He’s obviously the smartest,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“Obviously.”

**“"They're not birds!" Harry said suddenly. "They're keys! Winged keys -- look carefully. So that must mean..." he looked around the chamber while the other two squinted up at the flock of keys. "... yes -- look! Broomsticks! We've got to catch the key to the door!"”**

“How could they have not noticed the brooms in the first place?” James asked, scandalized, “I thought he was supposed to be the youngest seeker in a decade!”

“A century,” Lily corrected, and James squeaked.

“That’s even _worse!_ ” he exclaimed exasperatedly, and the others laughed.

“You know, if he’d noticed the bloody broom in the first place, this whole obstacle would have been a lot easier to decipher,” Remus muttered, and James nodded in agreement.

“Exactly! Just complicate our lives for no reason, why don’t you?” he squawked, and Lily burst out laughing.

“He’s your child, I think complicating your existence for no reason is his job,” Sirius said, and James stuck his tongue out at him.

“I refuse to have a stupid child,” he said, and Lily shrieked in indignation.

“He’s not _stupid_! He’s the one who’s put things together before all four of us have been able to!” she said, and James flushed slightly

“I didn’t mean _stupid_ ,” he mumbled, “I meant ridiculously unobservant”

“That’s a lie!” Sirius gasped, and the others turned to him with raised eyebrows, “How else would he be such an incredible poet?” he asked, and James rolled his eyes in amusement as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Well let’s look at the bright side,” Lily said, “He’s not the youngest seeker in a century for no reason, you know. Flying shouldn’t be too hard for him,” she said simply, and James beamed proudly.

“Oh look at Proud Papa Potter,” Sirius teased, and James winked at him as Lily rolled her eyes and Remus snickered.

“Absolutely amazing alliteration there, mate,” James said, and Lily groaned as the two started to snigger.

“Goodness Gracious Ginger-Flower, wouldn’t want you whining!” Sirius gasped, and Lily shot Remus a pleading look, but the boy was too busy shaking with laughter.

“Lets just move on,” she sighed, and the two whined.

“Lily love!” James gasped, and she shot him an exasperated look, to which he simply grinned.

**“"But there are hundreds of them!" Ron examined the lock on the door.**

**"We're looking for a big, old-fashioned one -- probably silver, like the handle."”**

“Well that was brilliant,” Lily said simply, and the others laughed.

“Must be the Muggle in Harry coming out,” Sirius said, and Lily grinned as the others laughed.

“I wish we were smart enough to figure these things out,” James sighed, and the others laughed.

“In our defense,” Remus said, “those children have an obvious advantage, what, with _physically being there,_ ” he said, and the others burst out laughing.

“I suppose being able to see everything would be advantageous,” Lily giggled, and Remus shook his head amusedly.

**“They each seized a broomstick and kicked off into the air, soaring into the midst of the cloud of keys.”**

“Hermione can fly?” Lily asked, and James grinned.

“She finally have something on you, Evans?” he teased, and Lily huffed.

“I can fly,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Okay Evans,” Sirius winked, “I have to say, this Hermione girl is growing on me.”

“Where?” James asked, and the other three groaned as he snickered to himself.

“No mate. Just, no,” Sirius sighed, shaking his head, his mouth twitching in slight amusement.

“That was by far the lamest thing you’ve ever said,” Lily stated, “This is inclusive of your ridiculous flattery,” she added, and James pouted as Remus and Sirius snickered.

**“They grabbed and snatched, but the bewitched keys darted and dived so quickly it was almost impossible to catch one.”**

“Oh, I see the challenge now,” Remus said, and Lily shot him a look, before lifting her hands up in mock applause, causing both Sirius and James to burst out laughing, joining in her applause, as Remus flushed.

“Don’t worry Remmy-poo!” Sirius sung, “They’ll catch the key!”

“Catching isn’t the issue here,” Remus sighed, “It’s _finding_ the bloody key.”

**“Not for nothing, though, was Harry the youngest Seeker in a century.”**

James and Sirius hooted in appreciation, Remus shook his head fondly and Lily laughed

“That clear your doubts, Remus?” she asked, grinning playfully, and Remus chuckled.

“Seekers spot things nobody else does, _and_ they’re bloody fast,” James said, and grinned.

“Throw something more difficult at him, McGonagall, why don’t you?” Sirius yelled challengingly looking towards the Portrait Hole, and Lily snorted as the others laughed.

**“He had a knack for spotting things other people didn't.”**

“As has been proven through his extensive poetic skills,” Sirius added, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Not to mention his position as Seeker,” she deadpanned, and Sirius smirked at her irritated tone as James and Remus snickered.

“Lily dearest, am I getting on your nerves?” he asked, and James grinned at Lily’s glare.

“Mate, I think you have a permanent position there,” he said, and Lily nodded in agreement as Sirius pouted and Remus snickered.

**“After a minute's weaving about through the whirl of rainbow feathers, he noticed a large silver key that had a bent wing, as if it had already been caught and stuffed roughly into the keyhole.”**

“THAT’S THE ONE!” Sirius yelled, causing Lily to jump.

“What gave it away?” Remus drawled, rolling his eyes, causing Lily and James ot laugh.

“Merlin Sirius, however did you know?” James added, clutching his chest dramatically.

“I have a sixth sense,” Sirius said, casually examining his hand, the three Marauders bursting out into laughter a moment later as Lily shook her head amusedly.

“How did I end up in this position?” she sighed sadly, and the boys smiled at her.

“You don’t mean that love,” Sirius said.

“She’s just trying to hide how much she loves us,” Remus added matter-of-factly, and James grinned.

“Obviously,” he finished, and Lily snorted.

“Deflate your heads, all of you,” she said, and the three boys gasped.

“LILY!”

“Oh shut up would you?” she laughed, and the boys grinned, allowing her to continue reading.

**“"That one!" he called to the others. "That big one -- there -- no, there -- with bright blue wings -- the feathers are all crumpled on one side." Ron went speeding in the direction that Harry was pointing, crashed into the ceiling, and nearly fell off his broom.”**

“Smooth,” Lily snorted as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“My poor baby!” Sirius managed to choke out, his shoulders shaking with restrained laughter.

“I do feel bad for him,” Lily sighed, “He lost the few brain cells he possessed,” she added, grinning cheekily at Sirius, who gasped as James and Remus laughed once more.

“That’s rude Lil,” Sirius sniffed, and Lily sighed.

“That was rude, my apologies Ronald!” she said to the book, and Sirius pouted.

“You never apologized to _me_ ,” he grumbled, and Lily blinked at him.

“Why would I do that?” she asked, and Sirius huffed as a grin appeared on Lily’s face.

**“"We've got to close in on it!" Harry called, not taking his eyes off the key with the damaged wing.”**

“I didn’t know boys could multitask,” Lily cut in, smiling to herself as the boys yelled out indignantly.

“Watch yourself Red,” Sirius said in a faux-threatening tone, and Lily smiled sweetly

“Bring it on, Black,” she said, and he smirked.

**“"Ron, you come at it from above -- Hermione, stay below and stop it from going down and I'll try and catch it. Right, NOW!"”**

“Merlin kid, don’t be so bossy,” Remus laughed.

“He’s just like his mother,” James sighed, shaking his head, and Lily squawked.

“Oh _please_ James,” Sirius snorted, “Have you _seen_ yourself on the Quidditch Pitch?” he asked, and James flushed, as Lily and Remus laughed, “I’ve never met someone _so_ irritating.”

“We win, don’t we?” James grumbled defensively, and Sirius shook his head in amusement as the other two continued to giggle.

“That’s besides the point,” Sirius shrugged, “Even if Harry catches the key, he’d still have been incredibly bossy, no?”

James scoffed, “It’s better than not being bossy and allowing people to do whatever the bloody hell they want, and losing,” he said, and Sirius smirked.

“Whatever you say, evil dictator,” Sirius said simply and James stuck his tongue out at him.

**“Ron dived, Hermione rocketed upward, the key dodged them both, and Harry streaked after it; it sped toward the wall, Harry leaned forward and with a nasty, crunching noise, pinned it against the stone with one hand. Ron and Hermione's cheers echoed around the high chamber.”**

Lily winced as the other three cheered.

“That poor key,” she sighed, and James shot her a bewildered look.

“Are you aware that you’re pitying _the key_?” he asked, and Lily nodded.

“Harry must have broken it’s other wing! What’s it going to do now?” she asked, and James rolled his e yes

“It’s a _key_ Lil, it doesn’t do much.”

“But it cant fly around anymore!” she said sadly, “It must have been so happy before people started attacking it.”

“Remember the drunk theory from before? I support that now,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a look as Remus and James laughed.

“I’m sorry I’m sympathetic,” she huffed, and Remus grinned.

“There’s a difference between sympathetic and bordering on lunacy, Lil,” he said, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“I’m not a lunatic,” she huffed, and James grinned.

“‘Course you’re not, love! He said you were _bordering_ on lunacy,” he said, “So you’re almost a lunatic.”

“Thanks, I feel much better,” she sneered, and the boys grinned at her.

“Be happy Lil! They caught the key!” Sirius said happily, and Lily sighed.

“And will then proceed to another horrifying challenge,” she said simply, and James shrugged.

“There’s only DADA, Charms and Potions left,” he shrugged.

“Only,” Lily scoffed, and James smiled at her as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Little miss bitter, why don’t we proceed?” Remus asked, and Lily stuck het tongue out at him.

**“They landed quickly, and Harry ran to the door, the key struggling in his hand. He rammed it into the lock and turned -- it worked.”**

“I should hope so, the poor key is being treated so violently!” Sirius gasped, winking at Lily, who flushed as Remus and James laughed.

“Stop taking the mickey!” she whined, hiding her face in James’ shoulder, her voice coming out muffled, “Key’s could have feelings too!”

“she has a point,” Remus said, and the boys quirked brows at him, “Not about keys having feelings, but that particular key,” he said, “Since it’s McGonagall’s challenge, it’s a very real possibility that that’s a bird transfigured into a key,” he shrugged, and the boys gaped as Lily squeaked.

“I didn’t even think of it that way!” she squeaked, placing her hands on her face.

“My son is a bird abuser,” James whined, “Bloody hell.”

“Oh, who’s bordering on lunacy _now_?” Lily teased, and James tightened his hold on her, playfully squeezing, causing her to giggle.

**“The moment the lock had clicked open, the key took flight again, looking very battered now that it had been caught twice.”**

“Sorry key!” Sirius called out, and Lily snorted.

“They key accepts your condolences,” she said, and Sirius grinned as Remus and James snorted.

“Thanks for letting me know,” he said, and Lily laughed.

**“"Ready?" Harry asked the other two, his hand on the door handle. They nodded. He pulled the door open.”**

“Well if you weren’t ready you shouldn’t have done anything in the first place,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the others laughed.

“It was a rhetorical question, James,” she said, her voice sounding tired, and James beamed.

“Anything to see you flush that irritated red, love,” he said, kissing her cheek swiftly as she shook her head amusedly.

“You’ve been doing that a lot, shaking your head,” Remus teased, and Lily sighed dramatically, her shoulders rising and dropping.

“I have no other reaction to you lots’ stupidity,” she said simply.

“You could try laughing, that usually makes it more enjoyable,” James teased, and Lily shook her head once more as the boys laughed.

“Wonder what is in the next chamber,” Sirius said, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

“Why are you so happy that they’re in so much danger?” Lily asked, and Sirius grinned.

“Where’s the fun in being safe, love?” he asked, then winked at her. Lily flushed as the double entendre sunk in.

“Can we stop teasing Lily about sex and just _read_?” Remus asked, and Lily beamed at him as James and Sirius snickered.

“I love you so much right now, Remus Lupin,” she said, and Remus smirked at her as James and Sirius laughed.

**“The next chamber was so dark they couldn't see anything at all. But as they stepped into it, light suddenly flooded the room to reveal an astonishing sight.”**

“My bet’s on charms,” Lily said, and the boys snorted.

“You got that, from the lights turning on?” James asked, and Lily grinned.

“No, from process of elimination,” she said happily.

“Is this girl bipolar or something?” Sirius muttered to Remus, who snorted with laughter.

“Keeps life entertaining, doesn’t it?” he shot back, and Sirius grinned.

“How is that process of elimination?” James asked, and Lily sighed.

“I went according to the _teachers_ you dolt,” she said, and James raised his eyebrows amusedly, “The choices now are Flitwick, Snape and Quirrell,” she said, “Snape wouldn’t do anything that fancy and elaborate,” she continued, “Quirrell would probably get scared the second the light turned on,” she added, and the boys snorted in amusement, “Therefore it has to be Flitwick! Only he’s spunky enough to pull this off.”

“You would know, being Flitwick’s future bride and all,” Remus said, and Lily grinned as James and Sirius laughed.

“Us Charms-folk have to stick together Remus,” she said seriously, and he chuckled, “We understand each other to high extents!”

“Yes, yes, you crazy swot,” James chuckled, ruffling Lily’s hair, “Can we move on now?”

“Jealous of her deep relationship with Flitwick, are we?” Remus teased, and James snorted as Sirius and Lily laughed.

“Yes, let’s not discus this anymore, alright? It’s making me cry,” James sniffed, and Lily giggled.

“It’s okay James, I’ll always love Flitwick more than you,” she said, pinching his cheek, and James chuckled as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“They were standing on the edge of a huge chessboard, behind the black chessmen, which were all taller than they were and carved from what looked like black stone. Facing them, way across the chamber, were the white pieces. Harry, Ron and Hermione shivered slightly -- the towering white chessmen had no faces.”**

“Chess?” Lily breathed, and then turned to James, slightly panicky, “ _Chess_?” she squeaked once more and James looked down at her, slightly alarmed.

“Yes, Lil, what’s wrong?” he asked, and she whimpered.

“D-Do you think they have to…play?” she asked, and Sirius frowned, looking slightly concerned.

“Yes, probably,” he said slowly, and Lily groaned, hiding her face in her hands, “What’s wrong?”

Then Lily’s voice came, sounding very small, “Do you think it’s going to be like, like wizards chess?” she whispered, and James paled.

“They wont have to be the…pieces, I don’t think,” he said, his voice lilting up on the end, making the phrase appear as more of a question. His eyes turned from Lily to look at Remus, whose face mirrored back James’ fear.

“They wouldn’t be that cruel, would they?” Remus asked, turning to Sirius

“They are trying to protect the stone,” Sirius said, his voice barely above a whisper, “Merlin, they…they’ll be okay, right?” he asked, turning to Lily, who had sat up now, her eyes wide and her face much paler than usual.

**“"Now what do we do?" Harry whispered.**

**"It's obvious, isn't it?" said Ron. "We've got to play our way across the room."”**

“I was afraid of that,” James groaned, and the others shuddered slightly.

“What happens if they lose?” Lily asked in a quiet voice, and James put his arm around her comfortingly.

“They cant lose,” Remus said, and they all looked at him, “There’s another chapter left after this,” he said calmly, “If they lose, they’ll be killed,” he said, and Lily whimpered, “There cannot be another chapter if they’re dead.”

“Therefore, they wont lose,” Sirius finished, nodding his head, some colour returning to his face.

“At least they have Ron,” Lily squeaked, and then grinned as Sirius gaped at her, “Despite it all, he’s the best chess player,” she said, and Sirius beamed at her.

“Oh, Lily!” he sighed, and she giggled, causing James to smile slightly.

“Remus is right,” James said, nodding, “Let’s keep reading.”

“Way to keep your head in a crisis mate,” Sirius said, and Remus snorted.

“Wonder where Harry got it from,” he teased, and Lily snorted.

“A parent cannot think logically when their child is in danger. Don’t you read?” she shot back, smiling, and Remus shook his head amusedly.

“You do the shaking head thing too!” Sirius gasped, pointing at Remus, who snorted.

“Happens when people get tired of you two,” he said, nodding between Sirius and James, both of whom gasped.

“Must be a swot thing,” James said to Sirius, earning a scoff from Lily, who he grinned down at.

“It’s a sensible-person thing,” she said, and Remus nodded in agreement.

“Sure it is,” Sirius said, and Lily huffed.

“Oh shut up, _Black_.”

“ _Make me_ , _Evans_.”

“Let’s just see if they survive this, okay?” James chuckled, and Lily paled slightly, but nodded and turned back to the book nonetheless.

**“Behind the white pieces they could see another door.**

**"How?" said Hermione nervously.**

**"I think," said Ron, "we're going to have to be chessmen."”**

“Oh Merlin,” Lily whimpered, having lost the colour from her face again, “Oh Merlin, oh Merlin, oh Merlin,” she continued, and James rubbed his hand soothingly up and down her arm.

“Calm down Lil,” he said gently, “They’ll be okay.”

“If it’s like Wizards Chess, they could get _killed_ ,” she whispered, and James sighed.

“But Remus said-” he started, but was cut off by Lily.

“What Remus said was in accordance with _Harry_ ,” she argued, “If _Harry_ dies there’s no last chapter, but what if any of the others do?” she asked, looking between the three boys, “What if it’s Hermione? Or Ron? What happens if _they_ die?” she asked, and the boys exchanged clueless looks.

“Let’s not worry about anything until we have to,” Remus said carefully after a few moments thought, “If we worry about it now we’ll never continue,” he said, and Lily looked at him for a moment, before nodding shakily

“I can’t read anymore,” she said, and Remus nodded.

“I’ll read,” he said, and she nodded. She didn’t move, however. Noticing this, James reached down with his left hand and carefully pried the book out of Lily’s frozen hands, handing it over to Remus.

“I don’t want them to die,” Lily whispered to James, who looked down at her wide, frightened eyes for a moment, before pulling her onto his lap, allowing her to curl into a ball, resting her head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly, “Thanks,” she whispered, and a grin flashed across his face briefly.

**“He walked up to a black knight and put his hand out to touch the knight's horse. At once, the stone sprang to life. The horse pawed the ground and the knight turned his helmeted head to look down at Ron. "Do we -- er -- have to join you to get across?" The black knight nodded.”**

“They don’t get to watch from the sidelines?” Sirius asked, suddenly outraged, “What’s that? How bloody _stupid!_ They’re just innocent kids! Hadn’t anyone ever factored in the possibility that people could be going through this _without_ the intent of _stealing_ the bloody fucking stone?” he yelled.

“Mate,” James said, but Sirius ignored him.

“What the _actual hell_ is wrong with these people?” he asked, and Remus sighed.

“They’re just protecting the stone, Padfoot,” he said, but Sirius appeared to have not heard him.

“They’re trying to _kill_ them!” he added. Lily eyed Sirius warily before slowly getting off James, who carefully helped her to her feet, before heading over to Sirius.

“Calm down,” she said quietly, bending down so she was eye-level to Sirius.

“How can you bloody tell me to calm down?” he yelled at her. Lily didn’t flinch, a prospect both James and Remus were incredibly impressed with.

“Because you being angry isn’t going to change what happens in the book,” she said, and Sirius’ jaw relaxed slightly, “All we can do right now is hope that nobody get’s hurt, alright?” she said, and Sirius stared at her for a few seconds, before releasing a pained sigh.

“I don’t like it,” he said, and she smiled slightly.

“Me either Sirius,” she said, and he groaned.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he muttered, and Lily shrugged.

“You were worried. People yell when they’re upset. I get that,” she said, and Sirius smiled at her, “You okay now?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, crossing his arms moodily. Lily figured that’s the best that he could do and tapped him on top of his beanie-covered head, before turning around and curling back on top of James.

“I’m very proud of you,” James chuckled, “Nobody’s managed to calm him down in a long time.”

“All the more proof that we should have a girl in the group,” Remus said, and James chuckled.

“Usually he goes on until he breaks something,” James added, and Remus snorted.

“Yeah, usually your face for attempting to comfort him,” he said, rubbing at his jaw, and Sirius flushed.

“Sorry,” he grumbled, and the other tow Marauders grinned at him.

“No big deal, Pads,” said Remus.

“They’re just bones,” James added, and Sirius smirked at him.

**“Ron turned to the other two.**

**"This needs thinking about,” he said. “I suppose we've got to take the place of three of the black pieces...." Harry and Hermione stayed quiet, watching Ron think.”**

“It can think?” Lily said quietly, and Sirius threw her a dirty look as she grinned at him, causing James and Remus to laugh.

“Feeling better, are we?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged.

“I figure I might as well make the best of a bad situation,” she said, “They’re going to do the damn chess thing no matter what I say,” she said bitterly, and James kissed her on the cheek.

“Way to see the bright side,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two laughed, cheered up by Lily’s lighter mood.

**“Finally he said, "Now, don't be offended or anything, but neither of you are that good at chess --"”**

“See? My minion is awesome,” Sirius preened, and Lily snorted.

“Yes, he’s the best at chess, congratulations,” she said, and Sirius grinned happily as the others laughed.

“This must reflect similarly upon us,” Sirius said simply, and James guffawed.

“I beat you at chess _all the time_ ,” he said, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at him.

“YOU DO NOT.”

“I DO TOO!”

“Children!” Lily yelled, and the two boys turned to her, flabbergasted, as Remus sniggered, “Calm yourselves. Have a competition later, or something,” she said, and James smirked at Sirius.

“Fine,” he said, holding his hand out, and Sirius smirked back, reaching forwards to shake hands with James.

“Fine.”

**“"We're not offended," said Harry quickly. "Just tell us what to do."”**

“What every man wants to hear,” Sirius sighed, and Lily shot him a disgusted look as the other two sniggered.

“You belong in prison, you pervert,” she said, and Sirius’ grin widened as the other two roared with laughter.

**“"Well, Harry, you take the place of that bishop, and Hermione, You stand next to him instead of that castle."**

**"What about you?"**

**"I'm going to be a knight," said Ron.”**

“How typical,” Lily giggled, leaning on James’ shoulder as he eyed her with a bewildered air.

“I beg your pardon?” he asked, after exchanging questioning glances with his friends.

“It’s such a…boy thing,” she said, giggling once more, “Wanting to be a knight, being a hero, saving the damsel,” she said, shaking her head fondly

“We don’t insult _your_ fantasies,” Sirius grumbled, causing Lily to giggle once more.

“I’m not _insulting_ it,” she snorted, “I’m just saying it’s typical.”

“I find her rude, get rid of her,” Sirius said to James, who guffawed as Remus laughed.

“You honestly thing _Prongs_ will be able to get rid of her?” he asked disbelievingly, and James flushed as Sirius laughed.

“Touché mate. I’ll have to do it myself,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“It’s okay James, I wouldn’t get rid of you if my mates asked, either,” she said, and James beamed.

“She wouldn’t get rid of me either,” he preened to Sirius, who only smirked amusedly as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“The chessmen seemed to have been listening, because at these words a knight, a bishop, and a castle turned their backs on the white pieces and walked off the board, leaving three empty squares that Harry, Ron, and Hermione took.”**

“I bet they’re enjoying this,” Lily grumbled, and the boys laughed

“The chess pieces?” Remus asked, amused, and Lily nodded grumpily, “I don’t think chess pieces have feelings, Lil.”

“Chess pieces aren’t as sadistic as you may think,” Sirius teased, “They don’t like to hurt the others.”

“But they’re cruel enough to destroy their opponents. Charming,” Remus deadpanned, and Sirius barked a laugh.

“This is why you never win at chess,” Sirius said, “You don’t respect your chess piece’s feelings.”

“They’re chess pieces,” Remus said exasperatedly, “They’re just pawns in my game.”

“No pun intended,” James snickered, and Remus rolled his eyes to the heavens, smiling, as Lily and Sirius burst out laughing.

**“"White always plays first in chess," said Ron, peering across the board. "Yes... look..." A white pawn had moved forward two squares.”**

“Who’s playing for the white pieces?” Lily asked curiously, and James sighed.

“I thought _you_ were the one who was against interruptions,” he asked, exasperated, and Lily shrugged.

“Not when they’re legitimate questions,” she said, grinning cheekily

“I interrupted with questions sometimes!” Sirius protested, and Lily beamed at him.

“I said legitimate, not idiotic,” she said, and Remus guffawed.

“Well they’re charmed to think for themselves, I think,” James said, hiding a grin as Sirius glowered at Lily.

“Or they’re charmed to win,” Remus muttered, and Lily paled.

“You don’t think they’d actually attempt to destroy the kids the way they destroy the other pieces, do you?” she asked, her voice pitched slightly higher due to her panic. The boys exchanged uneasy glances and then looked back at Lily, who hid her face once again.

“Don’t worry so much,” Sirius said, letting out a nervous laugh in his attempt to cheer Lily up, “You’re going to go prematurely grey!”

“Merlin forbid,” James added, sniggering.

“She’s not you Padfoot, I don’t think she’d sob over a grey hair,” Remus snorted, and Sirius gaped at him. Lily burst out laughing, replacing the insulted on Sirius’ face with an affectionate smile.

“I doubt you’d be able to see just one grey hair in this mess,” she said, flicking a lock of her hair, and James snorted.

“It’s not a mess,” he said, and Lily scoffed

“Just because _you’re_ obsessed with it, doesn’t mean it’s perfect,” she said, and James chuckled as his friends laughed.

“Does that apply to you as well, Ginger-flower?” Sirius teased, and Lily laughed.

“Most definitely,” she said, nodding her head, “I have my flaws, believe it or not.”

“Like what?” Sirius asked eagerly, and Lily smirked.

“That’s for me to know, and for you to figure out over time,” she said simply, and Sirius grinned at her.

“So you’re saying you’re going to be hanging around us for a long period of time?” he asked, and Lily shot him an exasperated look as the other two snickered.

“We’ll see,” she said, winking at James, who smiled, “If this one doesn’t screw it up,” she added, and James snorted as the other two laughed.

**“Ron started to direct the black pieces. They moved silently wherever he sent them. Harry's knees were trembling. What if they lost?”**

“Losing is _all you can think of_?” Lily shrieked, and Sirius smirked.

“That didn’t seem like a legitimate question,” he said, and Lily glowered at him as James and Remus bit back their laughter, not wanting to be subjected to Lily’s wrath.

“It’s not like he’s not scared,” James reasoned, “His knees are trembling.”

“That’s not the point,” Lily said, although her expression softened, “He’s thinking of all the wrong things! Losing?” she snorted, “honestly.”

“Well if they lose then they don’t get the stone and Voldemort rises,” Sirius said, “That’s something to be scared of.”

“You can’t be scared of Voldemort if you’re dead,” Lily said, and the boys laughed

“What would you prefer he be thinking about?” Remus asked, slightly amused.

“Not _dying_ preferably, the idiot,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

“Don’t call my kid an idiot,” James said, and Lily glared at him.

“ _You’re_ an idiot,” she said, and James smirked at her.

“Right where it hurts, love,” he teased, and Lily blushed as he kissed her on the forehead.

“Stop flirting with me when I’m mad,” she grumbled, and James grinned as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Does it calm you down, love?”

“No, its idiotic,” she said. James simply chuckled once more.

“Your anger is endearing.”

“Which explains why he put up with it for so long,” Remus added, and Lily shook her head fondly.

**“"Harry -- move diagonally four squares to the right."”**

“Hurt my son, Ronald Weasley, and I’ll kill you,” Lily said, and the boys chuckled.

“Don’t worry love, my minion is far too good of a mate to hurt him,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“You never know,” she said, wagging her eyebrows, “He could be a double agent!”

“He is a ginger, after all. You know how they have no souls,” Remus nodded, grinning cheekily, and Lily shrieked indignantly as Sirius and James roared with laughter.

**“Their first real shock came when their other knight was taken. The white queen smashed him to the floor and dragged him off the board, where he lay quite still, facedown.”**

Lily paled quickly, and James grabbed her hand, squeezing it lightly.

“Not all the pieces get smashed in wizards chess, you know,” he said quietly, “lots of them are absolutely fine. And Ron seems like a good player,” he said, and Lily sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“You’re probably right, I’m probably worrying for no reason,” she said, “But still-”

“They’ll be fine,” James said comfortingly, “You’ll see.”

“Prove it,” she said, a small smile appearing on her face, and he chuckled.

“Stop changing the topic, soulless ginger,” he said, and Lily shoved him playfully as he continued to chuckle in her ear.

“I hope you’re done with your secret, whispered, dirty conversation there, because some of us would like to continue the story,” Sirius said, grinning cheekily as Lily flushed.

“It was not dirty,” she huffed, and both Sirius and Remus laughed.

“I could make it dirty,” James whispered to her, and Lily whacked him as he chuckled.

**“"Had to let that happen," said Ron, looking shaken. "Leaves you free to take that bishop, Hermione, go on."”**

“How would the kids beat them up in wizards chess?” Lily asked, and Sirius sighed.

“Now _you’re_ the one making all the interruptions Evans, stop stealing my job,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Remus laughed.

“I suppose they’d just tell them to move,” Remus shrugged, “Not like they can destroy them or beat them up.”

“They’re chess pieces, they probably know when they’re defeated,” Sirius snorted, “no need to be all ‘um, excuse me, yeah you, I defeated you so could you please move, thanks,’” he said, and the couple snickered as Remus pinked slightly.

“I think it’s kind of adorable how scared Ron is,” Lily said, smiling.

“Do you find happiness in frightened kids?” Sirius teased, “I believe it’s _you_ who belongs in prison, not me.”

“Oh shove off Sirius,” Lily said embarrassedly as the three boys howled with laughter, “I just meant it’s nice to see that side of him. The sensitive one.”

“Men don’t have a sensitive side,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him an exasperated look, earning a grin in return, “That they discuss, anyway,” eh said, and she shook her head amusedly

“What _do_ you bloody boys talk about, then?” she teased, and James grinned.

“That’s for us to know, and you to find out in time,” he said, echoing her from before, and Lily giggled.

“I swear she’s bipolar,” Sirius said to Remus, who snorted as Lily and James laughed, “She was upset not five minutes ago.”

“Not all of us only feel one emotion at a time,” she teased, and Sirius pouted as the others laughed.

**“Every time one of their men was lost, the white pieces showed no mercy. Soon there was a huddle of limp black players slumped along the wall.”**

“A huddle?” Lily squeaked, “Does that mean he’ snot all that good?”

“Well, given that neither Harry and Hermione are part of that huddle, Ron either, I’d say he’s pretty good, since they haven’t lost yet and neither of them are injured,” Remus said.

“It takes a lot of talent to keep a castle, bishop and knight safe,” James agreed, and Lily exhaled in mild relief, the worried look never completely leaving her eyes.

“Didn’t you already know that, Evans?” Sirius teased, and Lily’s mouth twitched in amusement.

**“Twice, Ron only just noticed in time that Harry and Hermione were in danger. He himself darted around the board, taking almost as many white pieces as they had lost black ones.”**

Lily shot James a look, to which he only shrugged in response.

“I said he was good, not perfect,” he said, and Lily groaned.

“At least he noticed,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“That’s comforting,” she said, and Sirius grinned, ignoring her irritated tone.

“I imagine it would be,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes once more, this time in amusement, as James and Remus laughed.

“What’s with you lot and not letting me be angry?” she asked, and the boys smirked.

“Well we’ve been subject to your anger a lot over the years,” Remus said, “Some more than others,” eh added, looking pointedly at James, who grinned, “So I suppose we’re not big on allowing your anger to reign free. A bit dangerous, to be honest,” he said, and Sirius grumbled.

“Tell me about it,” he said, bitterly fingering his beanie.

“I’m not _that_ bad,” Lily sighed, and James guffawed.

“I beg to differ.”

“Oh sod off, you,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“"We're nearly there," he muttered suddenly. "Let me think let me think..." The white queen turned her blank face toward him.”**

Sirius gasped loudly, clapping his hands to his mouth, exchanging a horrified look with James.

“What? What?” Lily asked, looking between the two of them as Remus sat up straighter, frowning at his two friends, both of which looked completely shaken.

“He wouldn’t, would he?” James asked Sirius quietly, and Sirius let out a low whine.

“I-I don’t know!” he choked out, before shooting his eyes to Lily. He looked back at James, who, understanding, took Lily’s hand in his.

“You’re scaring me,” Lily said, receiving no comfort, “Remus?” she asked, and Remus looked between his two friends, frowned for a second, before his eyes widened.

“No,” he breathed, and the others nodded, looking upset.

“WHAT?” Lily yelled, and James shook his head, placing his other hand on her head and directing it back to his shoulder.

“Just continue,” he said in a solemn voice, and Lily looked up at Remus as he began to read, her eyes full of panic and worry.

**“"Yes..." said Ron softly, "It's the only way... I've got to be taken."”**

“NO!” Lily shrieked, her eyes beginning to tear up.

“Don’t tell me you’ve come to care for the sod,” Sirius said half-heartedly, and Lily let out a strangled noise.

“Of _course_ I have! He…He wouldn’t do it, would he?” she asked, her voice skipping several octaves over the course of the question, ending on a terrified squeak.

“I-I think he would,” James said quietly, and a few tears escaped Lily’s eyes.

“H-he _cant,_ ” she cried, shaking her head in disbelief, “No, he’s going to be fine,” she said, and James nodded sadly, squeezing her hand, “He _will_ ,” she said sternly, “they wouldn’t kill him off.”

The boys exchanged glances, deciding not to argue with the distraught girl.

**“"NO!” Harry and Hermione shouted.**

**"That's chess!" snapped Ron. "You've got to make some sacrifices! I take one step forward and she'll take me -- that leaves you free to checkmate the king, Harry!"**

**"But --"**

**"Do you want to stop Snape or not?"**

**"Ron --"**

**"Look, if you don't hurry up, he'll already have the Stone!" There was no alternative.”**

By the end of the exchange, tears were freely falling down Lily’s cheeks.

“Lily,” James said quietly, pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping her face, “Don’t cry.”

“It’s not fair,” she said, her voice sounding only mildly choked.

“No, it’s not,” Remus agreed, nodding his head sadly, “But Ron’s right.”

“He’s an idiot,” Lily whispered sadly, and Sirius’ lip twitched.

“Is that the word of the day?” he asked, his voice flat, and Lily let out a watery chuckle.

“I’m sorry your minion is going to sacrifice himself,” she said, and Sirius sighed, nodding his head.

“He’s being honourable,” he said, and Lily smiled.

“Much more so than saving points, of course,” she said, and Sirius let out a humourless chuckle.

“I don’t see any way around it,” James said sadly, and Lily sniffed.

“I don’t want Ron to die,” she said, and Sirius groaned sadly.

“None of us do,” Remus said, “But Ron’s right,” he said, and Lily wrapped her arm around James’ torso, hugging herself to him.

**“"Ready?" Ron called, his face pale but determined. "Here I go - now, don't hang around once you've won." He stepped forward, and the white queen pounced. She struck Ron hard across the head with her stone arm, and he crashed to the floor - Hermione screamed but stayed on her square - the white queen dragged Ron to one side. He looked as if he'd been knocked out.”**

Lily buried her face in James shoulder, and he rubbed her soothingly on the back, using his handkerchief to wipe his own eyes.

“He’s so brave,” Sirius sighed, smiling slightly.

“It says he looks knocked out,” Remus said slowly, “So he’s fine? Just knocked out?”

“I suppose that’s the best we can hope fore,” Lily choked out, lifting her head off James and looking at Remus, “At the very least he’ll have a tremendous headache,” she said, and then smiled slightly, “Which I suppose he gets from attempting to think anyway,” she added, her voice slightly croaky from crying, and Sirius guffawed.

“Oh shut it Evans,” he grumbled, wiping at his eyes, and Lily smiled at him, “My minion risked his life, what did _yours_ do?”

“Your minion wins this one,” she said, smiling at the book, “That was incredibly brave of him,” she said, and Sirius groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

“Bloody hell Evans, stop making me cry,” he whined, and James snorted, tossing him the handkerchief. Sirius wiped his face and then looked down at the handkerchief, before snorting and throwing it back to James, “What kind of ponce carries around handkerchiefs?” he asked.

There was a pause, before the four of them burst out laughing, Lily laughing into James’ shoulder, James laughing into his hand, Remus leaning back, and Sirius doubled over in the armchair.

“You…are such an…” Lily wheezed, as she attempted to catch her breath.

“Idiot, I presume?” James finished, and Lily started giggling again, causing the boys to burst out laughing once more.

“I don’t know why I’m laughing,” Remus gasped, pressing down on his abdomen, “It wasn’t even that funny!”

“It’s the stress of it all,” Lily explained.

“Why do you know everything?” Sirius teased.

“That was a _guess_ ,” she laughed.

“Why don’t we just go back to the book, alright?” James said, and immediately the others adopted more solemn expressions, “Oh cheer up you lot, Ron’s going to be fine.”

“You weren’t this optimistic a couple minutes ago when _you_ were crying,” Lily said, and James sighed.

“Shit,” he said, “I cried in front of a girl,” he said, and both Sirius and Remus groaned.

“Oh fuck,” Sirius said, and then glared at Lily, who was looking around at them with a half-confused and half-amused expression, “If you tell a _soul_ , Evans.”

“Oh please,” she snorted, “Who would believe that I spent my break with you lot reading about my future son I had with James and that we all cried when my sons best friend ‘sacrificed’ himself in order to make sure that Voldemort didn’t rise again since my son had killed him?” she asked, and the boys burst out laughing.

“She does have a point mate,” James chuckled, resting his chin on top of Lily’s head.

“Still,” Sirius grumbled, “I cried in front of a girl, how bloody embarrassing.”

“It’s okay Sirius,” Lily giggled, “I think sensitive looks good on you.”

“Oh shove off,” Sirius said, his lips twitching with laughter as he eyed Lily’s grin, as James and Remus laughed.

“Can we _please_ decide on an emotion?” Remus laughed, “Is it somber or amused?”

“I declare temporary insanity,” James said, and the others laughed.

“Any objections?” Remus asked, and the others shook their heads, still laughing, and Remus banged his imaginary gavel, “Meeting adjourned.”

“Well finally,” Lily laughed, “It’s been going on since, what, their History of Magic exam?” she laughed, and the boys sniggered.

“You know, court usually does take a long time,” Remus said seriously, and Lily shook her head fondly as the boys sniggered once more.

“Oh shut up and read, Lupin,” she smiled.

“Your wish is my command, milady,” Remus said, and she giggled.

“You’re all completely loony,” she said, and the boys grinned, taking bows.

**“Shaking, Harry moved three spaces to the left.**

**The white king took off his crown and threw it at Harry's feet. They had won.”**

“Oh good,” Sirius said, “Now he doesn’t have to worry about losing, just dying,” he said, winking at Lily, who snorted as James and Remus laughed.

“I have to give it to you,” she said, “Ron is good at chess.”

“Yes!” Sirius cheered, thrusting his fist in the air, “My minion wins!”

“I already told you that,” she said, smiling slightly, “He won the second he was brave enough to sacrifice himself.”

“He’s not dead,” James said, and Lily sighed, smiling sadly.

“I know,” she said, “Doesn’t mean he wasn’t brave.”

“You sure he’s not dead?” Sirius asked worriedly, and James smiled at him.

“It did say knocked out,” he said, and Sirius nodded, reassured. Lily smiled at his obvious worry.

“You’re a good guy, Sirius,” she said, and he quirked a brow at her, pleased nonetheless.

“Er, thanks,” he said, and Lily giggled as the other two chuckled, eyeing Sirius’ bewildered expression.

**“The chessmen parted and bowed, leaving the door ahead clear. With one last desperate look back at Ron, Harry and Hermione charged through the door and up the next passageway.”**

“No!” Lily squeaked, “Don’t leave him there!”

“Lil, calm down,” James said, “he’s not going anywhere.”

“But he’s hurt!” she said, “You cant just leave someone lying on the floor when they’re knocked out! Especially if they were hit by _stone_ ,” she said. James sighed exasperatedly as Lily became increasingly more animated, exchanging amused glances with Remus, who was snickering quietly, “I mean, what happens when he wakes up? He was ready to die for a better cause and he’ll wake up by himself with a major headache! How unfair is that?”

“Shouldn’t we be arguing for different minions?” Sirius asked, and Lily shot him an irritated glance, earning a chuckle in response.

“Oh dial it down an octave, Evans,” James chuckled, ruffling her hair, “Ron specifically instructed them to leave.”

“What if he has _amnesia_?” she squeaked, “He could lose his memory because he was hit on the head so hard! What if he’s in a coma? What if he doesn’t get up?” she squeaked, and James winced.

“Okay, first off, only a banshee would be able to hear you now,” he said, and Lily flushed as the other two snickered, “Secondly, Ron’s going to be just fine. So, shut up, and listen, okay?” he said, and Lily glowered at him.

“You can’t just boss me around like that,” she grumbled, but settled down nonetheless, and James shook his head amusedly.

“I can boss you around whenever I want,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“I see what you mean about foreplay,” Remus said to Sirius, who sniggered as Lily blushed, hiding her face in James’ shirt as he laughed.

“You’re a crazy girl, Evans,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“You’re the one who had a brain fart and decided to fancy me first,” she said, and James snorted as the other two laughed.

“A brain fart?” Sirius sniggered, and Lily flushed, but nodded.

“He had a brain fart,” she said, nodding towards James, “I had a moment of insanity,” she said, and grinned at James, who rolled his eyes, his mouth curving up into a smile.

“Flattering,” James said, and Lily beamed.

**“"What if he's --?"**

**"He'll be all right," said Harry, trying to convince himself.”**

“Oh look at that, Hermione cares,” Sirius said.

“I suppose she’s been harboring caring feelings, just like Lily,” Remus said, and Lily snorted as the boys laughed.

**“"What do you reckon's next?"**

**"We've had Sprout's, that was the Devil's Snare; Flitwick must've put charms on the keys; McGonagall transfigured the chessmen to make them alive; that leaves Quirrell's spell, and Snape's."”**

“Stop using Harry’s brains Hermione, you should be using your own,” Sirius scolded, and Lily shot him an exasperated look.

“Kind of depressing how we got it wrong isn’t it?” James asked, and the others frowned at him, “We reckoned the keys were McGonagall and the chess was Flitwick,” he said, “Harry says they’re the opposite.”

“What does Harry know, he’s eleven,” Lily snorted, and the boys burst out laughing after a moments silence.

“Someone obviously doesn’t like being proven wrong,” Remus teased.

“Well that’s rich coming from you,” Sirius snot back, and Remus pinked slightly.

“But it makes no sense!” Lily said, exasperated, “What would McGonagall transfigure about the chessmen? Giant people? It makes much more sense that they were ‘engorgio’-d and then charmed to be alive!”

“Well if she’d transfigured the birds wouldn’t they simply be keys lying dead on the ground? They’d have to be charmed to fly,” James reasoned, and Lily huffed.

“But the chess pieces!” she squeaked and James shrugged.

“But the keys,” he shot back, and Lily glared at him.

“Whose side are you on?” she grumbled, and James beamed at her as the others laughed.

“Always the blokes side, love,” he said, and Lily glared at him.

“Remind me to have a daughter,” she told Sirius, who smirked.

“I’m sure Prongs wont have any trouble forgetting,” he said, and Lily flushed as Sirius winked at James, who chortled dirtily.

“We can go try now, if you want,” James said, and Lily shot him a disapproving look as he grinned at her, causing the other boys to laugh.

“Even if I considered that,” she said, “There’s no way I would have a daughter while I was _still in school_ ,” she said, and James smirked at her.

“We can practice, then,” he said, and Lily snorted, “Two kids Evans, we can’t afford any mistakes.”

“Rumour has it you don’t need the practice, Potter,” she said, and James winked at her as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“You better check it out for yourself, just to be sure,” he said, and Lily shoved his slowly lowering face away from hers, laughing.

“You have an _illness_ ,” she said, and both Sirius and Remus sniggered as James chuckled, placing a light kiss behind her ear.

**“They had reached another door.”**

“Please tell me no more sacrifices have to be made,” Remus grumbled, and the others chuckled uneasily

“Doubtful,” Lily said, leaning forwards on James’ lap, “There doesn’t seem to be all that much left of the chapter. You can’t have another sacrifice in there,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

“Ron’s sacrifice situation only lasted a few pages,” Remus said, and Lily snorted.

“There will be no more sacrifices,” she said sternly and Remus smirked at her as James and Sirius laughed.

“Who’s bossy now?” James teased, and Lily nudged his abdomen with her elbow, causing him to chuckle.

**“"All right?" Harry whispered.**

**"Go on."”**

“Such a gentleman,” Lily said happily, “asking her if she was alright.”

“Your poor son is going to be such a ponce,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him an exasperated look as James and Remus snickered.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a gentleman,” she said, turning away from Sirius with her nose in the air, “I’ll have you know girls simply _dream_ of the perfect gentleman,” she said, and Sirius smirked.

“And somehow you wound up with Prongs,” he said, and James glared at him as Lily and Remus laughed.

“I didn’t say ‘ended up with’,” Lily snorted, “I said dream.”

“Wow James, nice to see that the wife is defending you,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him as James laughed.

“I’m _not_ the wife,” Lily grumbled, and Sirius grinned.

“Not yet anyway,” Remus said, nodding towards the book, and Lily flushed darkly as James grinned.

**“Harry pushed it open.”**

“Given his perfect gentlemanly status, he held it open for her as well,” Sirius said, “No need to panic Evans,” he added, shooting her a grin, and Lily shook her head amusedly as the others laughed.

**“A disgusting smell filled their nostrils, making both of them pull their robes up over their noses. Eyes watering, they saw, flat on the floor in front of them, a troll even larger than the one they had tackled, out cold with a bloody lump on its head.”**

“Thank Merlin,” Lily sighed, leaning forwards and hiding her face in her hands, earning bewildered looks from the boys.

“Did you _miss_ the troll?” Sirius asked uncertainly, and Lily shot him an exasperated smile as Remus and James roared with laughter.

“How could I miss a troll with you lot around?” she teased, and the boys pouted at her as she giggled, “I am glad it is already dealt with,” she said, articulating each word as if explaining this to toddlers, and the boys’ faces lit up with recognition.

“Ah,” Sirius said, nodding, “Gotcha,” he added, and Lily giggled.

“I am disappointed that I don’t get to witness my son beat another troll, though,” James sighed, and Lily whacked his shoulder.

“You are the worst parent ever,” she said, and James pouted as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Is that why you keep saying ‘we’ll see’ when we discuss you marrying him?” Sirius teased, and Lily laughed.

**“"I'm glad we didn't have to fight that one," Harry whispered as they stepped carefully over one of its massive legs.”**

“Harry!” James gasped, as the other three laughed.

“At least he inherited my common sense,” Lily said, pinching James’ cheek, and he shot her a faux-annoyed look as she continued to grin at him.

“I’m so angry at you,” James grumbled, and Lily pouted at him as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Want me to kiss it better?” she asked, leaning closer to him, and James nodded, still pouting, “Oh grow up James, you’re not a toddler,” she said, sitting up abruptly and tapping his nose with her finger, and his jaw dropped as she giggled and both Sirius and Remus roared with laughter.

“I cannot believe this,” James grumbled, leaning back on the sofa sullenly, removing his arms from around Lily as she sat on his lap, “I hope you fall off,” he said, and Lily grinned at him as the other two sniggered.

“I think you hurt his feelings,” Sirius said, and Remus nodded, smirking.

“I think you really should kiss it better,” he added, and Lily let out an exasperated laugh as James grinned up at her.

“I am _not_ going to kiss him,” she said, and James shrugged.

“I do believe it’s 3 against 1, therefore you should kiss me,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You’re not allowed a vote,” she said

“You’re still on the losing side,” he said, brushing off her last comment, and Lily bit her lip.

“I don’t like to comply to the majority,” she said

“As an honorary Marauder, you have to take into account what your friends say,” James said, and both Sirius and Remus nodded in agreement when he looked over to them.

“I’m not actually a Marauder though, simply honorary, a replacement until the final one returns,” she said, “Therefore I do not need to follow your rules.”

“As long as you hold the title Marauder you have to follow our rules,” James said, and Lily looked at him exasperatedly, causing his grin to widen

“And if I refuse?” she asked, and James shrugged.

“Well you’ll have to kiss me anyway for breaking the rules,” he said, and she giggled.

“I’m not sure the other two present are willing to witness that,” she said, “and as an honorary Marauder don’t I have to take their feelings into account?” she asked.

“They did, however, say outright that they thought you should kiss me, did they not?” James asked, smirking.

“Are they willing to sit there and watch us snog?” she asked, turning away from James to look between Remus and Sirius, both of whom looked highly amused at the couple’s bantering, “Are they really willing to watch as lips meet, tongues dance, hands roam?” she asked, and the two grinned.

“Yes,” they said in unison, and Lily gaped at them before turning back to James, who was, likewise, grinning at her.

“The whole lips meeting, tongues dancing, hands roaming thing sounds very appealing to me,” James said, nodding his head, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I am not kissing you,” she said, and James sighed

“We could play this came all day, love,” he said, and Lily sighed. She looked between Remus and Sirius, both of whom simply winked at her.

“Don’t you want to see what happens?” she asked, nodding towards the book, and Remus shrugged.

“The books not going anywhere.”

“Neither are my lips!” she squeaked, and the boys sniggered.

“But this moment wont last forever,” James said, beaming up at her, “Come on, Evans, one kiss,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, her lips twitching in amusement, before leaning down and pecking James lightly on the lips, “Oi!” he said, grinning sa Sirius and Remus laughed.

“I kissed you,” she shrugged, and he shook his head.

“Nuh-uh Lily Evans. There were no tongues dancing or hands roaming,” he said, and Lily grinned at him.

“That was never agreed upon in the requirements of the kiss!” she laughed.

“Yes but you implied that they would be present, therefore you must follow through in order to fulfill the other Marauders expectations,” James said, and put his hand on the back of her neck, gently urging her head down as she squealed and wriggled, causing Sirius and Remus to laugh.

“No!” she laughed, turning her head away as James grinned at her, his hand still on the back of her neck. James continued to guide her head down and she squeaked, “Raincheck?” she finally managed out through her laughter, and James stopped pulling her head down, his hand remaining in place, their faces only inches apart.

“Specify,” he said, “and I’ll consider,” he finished with a devilish grin, and Lily huffed, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Later,” she said, and James shook his head.

“I said specify, not reword,” he said, and Lily glared at him.

“I hate you,” she said, and he grinned.

“Because I’m smarter than your past boyfriends?” he asked, and she rolled her eyes.

“After the chapter,” she said, and James beamed.

“I notice you did not deny my previous statement,” he winked, and an exasperated smile flashed across her face.

“I specified my terms,” she said.

“I’ll let you go as long as you agree that we can take that raincheck up in my dormitory,” he said, and Lily gaped at him as Sirius and Remus burst out laughing.

“What?” she squeaked, and he grinned at her.

“You heard me.”

“James!” she whined, and he raised his brows, a challenge, “ _Fine_ ,” she conceded after a few moments, and James grinned, releasing her neck, as Sirius and Remus cheered.

“Thank you lads,” James said, nodding his head to his friends as Lily massaged the back of her neck, taking turns between glaring at the three boys.

“It’s my duty as a Marauder to make sure my fellow Marauders are fully…satisfied,” Sirius said, winking at Lily, who flushed.

“I agreed to a snog session,” she said, putting her hands up defensively, and James grinned.

“Okay love,” he said, ruffling her hair, and she glared at him.

“If he takes advantage of me will you beat him up?” she asked Remus, who smirked at her and shook his head, “But I thought you looked after your fellow Marauders!” she squeaked.

“I believe you just said you were merely an honorary Marauder, a replacement till Wormtail returned,” Sirius said, and Lily huffed, crossing her arms and sliding off James’ lap to sit on the opposite side of the sofa as the three boys laughed.

“I bloody hate you all,” she grumbled, “Berks.”

“Don’t worry Lil!” Remus said cheerfully, “There’s still a bit of the chapter left,” he said, “You can use that time to prepare yourself.”

“Yeah, with a Bubble-head Charm,” she grumbled.

**“"Come on, I can't breathe." He pulled open the next door, both of them hardly daring to look at what came next - but there was nothing very frightening in there, just a table with seven differently shaped bottles standing on it in a line.”**

“Oh, the final challenge,” said Remus, dancing slightly in his seat, causing the other three to laugh.

“And of course, the last obstacle is Snapes,” Sirius said bitterly.

“Well it doesn’t seem all that dangerous,” said James, “Just a row of bottles,” he added. The three of them looked over to Lily as she stayed quiet, “Are you not speaking, Lil?” James teased, and she glared at him, shaking her head.

“Is that your own personal form of revenge?” Sirius asked, and she nodded stiffly.

“Any thoughts on the row of bottles?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded her head.

“Sharing is caring,” James said, and Lily huffed.

“You should speak or we’ll encourage Prongs to _make_ you speak,” Sirius winked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You bloody boys all have a one-track mind,” she said, and they grinned.

“Oh Lily, it’s so lovely to hear your voice again,” Sirius said happily, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“So let’s hear the theory,” Remus said, grinning at her, and she sighed.

“Come on Lily,” James said, reaching out and poking her in the arm, and she shot him a glare, “Say what you’re thinking, Lily,” he said, poking her in the side, and she squealed as it tickled, “Come on Lily,” he said again, poking her once more

“Fine!” she laughed, swatting at his arm, “Knowing Snape as I do,” she said, causing the boys’ noses to wrinkle, “I’d wager he’s set up a riddle,” she shrugged, and the boys quirked brows at her.

“A riddle?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded.

“Well that makes sense,” James said, “I mean, there are seven bottles right? Maybe they have to drink a certain potion in order to get the stone, and they figure it out by solving the riddle. If they get the wrong one it could be fatal,” he said, and then looked at Lily, “Right?”

When there was no response, Sirius started to snigger, “I think she’s ignoring you mate,” he said, and James smirked.

“What gave it away?” Remus deadpanned, and Lily giggled.

“Oh, so you’re not ignoring them?” James gasped. Lily simply grabbed a lock of her hair and began to braid it.

“I’d take that as a yes,” Sirius said, and Lily smirked.

“Just keep reading,” James sighed, “I’ll get her to talk to me soon enough.”

“That phrase takes me back to the last five years of school,” Sirius drawled, and Lily laughed as James’ skin adopted a rather reddish hue.

**“"Snape's," said Harry. "What do we have to do?"”**

“Merlin kid, we already figured it out!” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You realize it’s been about two seconds in his life, and a few minutes in ours, right?” she snorted, and Sirius smirked at her.

“I apologize for expecting brilliance from your child,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a nasty look as the other two laughed.

**“They stepped over the threshold, and immediately a fire sprang up behind them in the doorway. It wasn't ordinary fire either; it was purple. At the same instant, black flames shot up in the doorway leading onward.”**

“And now the devious side of Snivellus shows,” Sirius grumbled.

“I’m assuming that they can only cross either fire by drinking a certain potion,” Remus said, “Lovely.”

“Hopefully they figure it out,” James said, and Sirius snorted.

“They have Hermione,” he said, “She’s the logical one, I bet riddles are no problem for her,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“I bet they’re even _fun_ ,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Lily Evans did you just insult your own minion?” Sirius teased, and Lily shook her head, placing her hand on her heart dramatically.

“Absolutely not,” she said, and the boys smirked, “I was simply stating that she may find riddles fun due to what we know about her,” she said.

“Do you find riddles fun?” James asked. Lily didn’t say anything.

“Do you find riddles fun?” Remus repeated, grinning, and Lily turned to him.

“I don’t actually,” she said, and James rolled his eyes amusedly as the other two hooted with laughter.

“That’s odd, I’d pinned you for one of those,” Sirius shrugged, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“I hate riddles,” she said, “I usually ask my friends for the answers halfway through the riddle,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“At least you’re not the one giving the riddles,” Sirius said, eying Remus, who smirked at him.

**“They were trapped.”**

“Oh really? I’d never have guessed,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, and the others laughed.

“It’s not trapped if there’s a way out,” Lily said, and James snorted in amusement.

“Deep,” he said, and Lily giggled, before groaning and covering her mouth as the boys laughed, “I win!” James announced happily, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Oh bugger off, what more do you want from me?” she asked, and he grinned at her as the other two snickered.

“Someone’s a bit bitter, I see,” he murmured, tugging on the braided lock of her hair, before sitting up straight.

**“"Look!" Hermione seized a roll of paper lying next to the bottles. Harry looked over her shoulder to read it:”**

“See?” Lily said, nodding towards the book, “riddle.”

“Well done Lily,” Sirius said sarcastically, and she grinned at him.

“Why _thank_ you,” she replied, completely ignoring his poorly veiled sarcasm, causing him to chuckle.

**_“Danger lies before you, while safety lies behind,_ **

**_Two of us will help you, which ever you would find,_ **

**_One among us seven will let you move ahead,_ **

**_Another will transport the drinker back instead,_ **

**_Two among our number hold only nettle wine,_ **

**_Three of us are killers, waiting bidden in line._ **

**_Choose, unless you wish to stay here forevermore,_ **

**_To help you in your choice, we give you these clues four:_ **

**_First, however slyly the poison tries to hide_ **

**_You will always find some on nettle wine's left side;_ **

**_Second, different are those who stand at either end,_ **

**_But if you would move onward, neither is your friend;_ **

**_Third, as you see clearly, all are different size,_ **

**_Neither dwarf nor giant holds death in their insides;_ **

**_Fourth, the second left and the second on the right_ **

**_Are twins once you taste them, though different at first sight.”_ **

Remus finished reading and stared down at the book, before turning to look at Lily, who was frowning in concentration.

“Trying to figure it out in your head, Evans?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded her head

“I need parchment,” she whined, and the boys laughed.

“We’ll do it as Hermione’s trying to figure it out, okay?” James said, and Lily shot him a glare before standing up, pulling her wand out, and drawing seven circles in front of her face, causing the boys to burst out laughing.

“Okay Lil, let’s see if you can do this,” Sirius said.

“I’ll help,” Remus quipped, hopping off his armchair and standing next to her, eying the seven circles.

“Read the clues again?” Lily asked, and Remus read through dutifully, “Okay,” she said, frowning, “okay so the second clue says the ones on either side are different but if you move onward, neither are your friend, right?” she said, and Remus consulted the book, before nodding, “So we can cross out the second last ones on either end,” she said happily, crossing out the two respective circles.

“Well done,” James chuckled, “Just five more choices.”

“And three more clues to follow,” Lily quipped, and he smirked at her, before getting up and standing next to her, eying the circles.

“We can’t possibly solve this,” James chuckled, and Lily glared at him, “I’m not joking,” he said, “or doubting, I’m just saying. One of the clues talks about their size, and without physically seeing the bottles we won’t be able to solve it,” he said, and Lily huffed.

“Fuck,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“I love when women curse,” Sirius said, grinning, as the three made their way back to their seats, leaving the outlines of the circles up in the air.

“Really?” Lily asked, curling her legs underneath her, “I think it’s trashy.”

“On a trashy girl, it is,” he agreed, “but not on ones like yourself,” he winked, and Lily shook her head, grinning.

“I think that’s a compliment…so thanks,” she laughed, and Sirius grinned.

“You’re welcome,” he said, nodding his head at her.

**“Hermione let out a great sigh and Harry, amazed, saw that she was smiling, the very last thing he felt like doing.”**

“I was right!” Sirius said happily, and Lily laughed.

“I doubt that happens very often, so congratulations,” she giggled, and Sirius shot her a sarcastic look as James and Remus laughed.

“Its nice to see you gave Harry your hating riddles gene,” James said, and Lily looked at him, rolling her eyes.

“It’s not a _gene_ ,” she said, and he grinned, “It’s a preference.”

“He seems to have got it from you, nonetheless,” he said.

“Tell me more about how much _you_ enjoy riddles, why don’t you,” she shot back, and James smirked at her as Sirius and Remus burst out laughing.

“We’ll never be bored again, Remus,” Sirius said, and both Lily and James grinned.

**“"Brilliant," said Hermione. "This isn't magic -- it's logic -- a puzzle. A lot of the greatest wizards haven't got an ounce of logic, they'd be stuck in here forever."**

**"But so will we, won't we?"”**

“Just because you can’t figure it out, doesn’t mean she’s as daft as you,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

“All of a sudden you’re being so mean to my son,” James sighed, “How could you be like this Lily? Who’s the worst parent now?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as the others laughed.

“In order to be a good parent, you have to instruct your children on the ways of the world,” she said simply, and James shook his head amusedly

“Good luck winning an argument with this bird,” Sirius said, nodding towards Lily fondly.

“I’ve done it before,” James said, still grinning.

“Yes, but once you’re completely whipped it becomes harder and harder to win,” Remus said, and Lily smiled.

“You should listen to your friends James,” she said innocently, smiling sweetly at him as he smirked back at her, “They’re right.”

**“"Of course not," said Hermione.”**

“She must be scandalized that she was ever doubted,” Sirius said, shaking his head sadly, “How dare Harry insult her.”

“I know right?” Lily said, throwing James a teasing grin, who which he only chuckled, “How rude can these Potter boys get?”

“Its tragic, really,” Sirius said, sniggering at James’ flabbergasted expression.

“How did this turn back to insulting me?” he asked, and Lily winked at him.

“It’s a talent,” she said, and James snorted.

**““Everything we need is here on this paper. Seven bottles: three are poison; two are wine; one will get us safely through the black fire, and one will get us back through the purple."”**

“Yes, we read as much,” Remus said bitterly, his eyes flickering back to the floating circles, “Shame we didn’t have the sizes down.”

“If only,” Lily sighed, resting her chin on her hand dejectedly, her eyes directed back at the circles.

“We should probably vanish those, so they don’t tempt us,” Remus said, and Lily sighed.

“But I don’t want to!” she whined, and Sirius snorted, pulling out his wand and waving it, erasing the circles, “SIRIUS!”

“It’s healthy,” he said, and both Lily and Remus glared at him as James sniggered.

“Oh calm down you two,” he chuckled, leaning over to tug on Lily’s hair, “Hermione’ll figure it out and we can simply sit back and enjoy the book,” he said, and Lily huffed.

“How can I enjoy the book when Ron has been compromised?” she asked, “Or did you forget about that?”

“I didn’t forget about it,” James said, “I’m simply levelheaded enough to remember that he’s _fine_ ,” he said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him as the other two laughed, “Unknot your knickers, why don’t you,” he chuckled, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“Thinking about her knickers already? Merlin James, calm yourself,” Remus teased, and both Lily and Sirius laughed as James smirked, his cheeks reddening.

**“"But how do we know which to drink?"”**

“Through the magic of logic,” Lily said, rolling her eyes, and the boys laughed, “Honestly this child is so impatient.”

“Just like his father,” Sirius sung, and James rolled his eyes as the others laughed.

**“"Give me a minute." Hermione read the paper several times. Then she walked up and down the line of bottles, muttering to herself and pointing at them. At last, she clapped her hands. "Got it," she said. "The smallest bottle will get us through the black fire - toward the Stone." Harry looked at the tiny bottle.**

**"There's only enough there for one of us," he said. "That's hardly one swallow." They looked at each other.”**

“Cue the romantic moment,” Sirius announced, and Lily flushed as the boys laughed.

“That is so awkward,” she squeaked, hiding her face in her hands.

“Why? Because he’s your son?” Remus teased, and Lily nodded her head.

“Yes! Nobody wants to think of their children falling in love,” she said, shaking her head.

“Why? Because then you have to think of them snogging?” Sirius teased, and Lily squeaked, causing the boys to laugh.

“I never knew you were so immature, Evans,” James teased, and Lily snorted.

“I’m not immature,” she argued, and he smirked at her, “I’m _not_! I simply don’t like imagining my child and some _girl_ having a romantic moment, thanks,” she said.

“Some girl? That’s rather rude. Your poor minion!” Sirius gasped, and Lily shook her head exasperatedly as the boys snickered.

“Besides,” Remus said, “I thought you said you didn’t have children.”

“She’s just caught up thinking about all that practice,” Sirius said, winking at Lily, who groaned and hid her quickly reddening face in her hands as James snickered.

“I wonder who’ll take that potion to go forwards towards the stone,” Sirius mused, and Lily snorted.

“Harry, obviously,” she said, and James barked a laugh.

“That’s rather conceited of you Lil,” he said, reaching over and ruffling her hair.

“It’s not conceited!” she squeaked, “the book is called _Harry Potter_ and the Sorcerer’s Stone, not _Hermione Granger_ and the Sorcerer’s stone,” she said, and the boys all adopted shameful expressions.

“Now I feel like an idiot,” Sirius said, and Lily smiled.

“I’d have thought you were used to it by now,” she said sweetly, and Sirius growled at her, causing her to laugh.

“What are you, a dog?” she teased, and Sirius’s eyes twinkled as he exchanged looks with James and Remus

“Why yes, Lil, I am,” he said, and Lily giggled, shaking her head.

“You have no idea,” Remus said, and the boys exchanged secret smiles.

**“"Which one will get you back through the purple flames?" Hermione pointed at a rounded bottle at the right end of the line.”**

“At least we got that one right!” Remus laughed, “as far as we got the ones on the end of the line were safe!”

“Go us,” Lily deadpanned bitterly, and the boys burst out laughing.

**“"You drink that," said Harry. "No, listen, get back and get Ron. Grab brooms from the flying-key room, they'll get you out of the trapdoor and past Fluffy -- go straight to the Owlery and send Hedwig to Dumbledore, we need him. I might be able to hold Snape off for a while, but I'm no match for him, really."”**

“Bollocks,” Sirius said, “Just Aguamenti his hair and he’ll shriek like a little girl,” he said. Both James and Remus burst out laughing, and Lily shook her head in mock disapproval.

“He’s so brave,” she sighed, shifting over to sit next to James and leaning on his shoulder.

“Forgiven me, have you?” he chuckled, and she nudged him playfully with her elbow.

“I hope I actually get to know him,” she said sadly, and the boys’ eyes snapped to her face, “you know, that I’m alive for it and all.”

“That is, if you decide to marry Prongs,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“Yes, if my brain decides to shut down and on my body, on autopilot, says yes,” she said, and James rolled his eyes amusedly as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“You know,” James said, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger, “If you said yes on autopilot, it would simply mean that your subconscious was answering and that you didn’t get to over think it, expressing your true answer, therefore, you’d have meant to say yes,” he said, and Lily shook her head in amusement as Sirius and Remus burst out laughing.

“You’re crazy,” she giggled, and James smirked.

“You didn’t say I was wrong,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Waste of breath. You’d only argue back, and we’d end in a stalemate,” she said, and the boys laughed, “Oh good,” she said, smiling, “he’s looking after Ron.”

“Of course he is,” snorted James, “They’re best mates.”

“Oh, James!” Sirius cried, “Your sentiments are reciprocated!” he cried, and James winked at him as Lily laughed.

“I like how intelligent Harry is,” Remus mused, still grinning from the couples bantering and his friends’ nonsense, “He’s completely logical in the face of death.”

“And he’s relying on Dumbledore, a smart move that,” Sirius said, and Remus nodded.

“Well done, you two,” Remus said, and the couple flushed as the other two sniggered.

**"But Harry - what if You-Know-Who's with him?"**

**"Well -- I was lucky once, wasn't I?" said Harry, pointing at his scar. "I might get lucky again." Hermione's lip trembled, and she suddenly dashed at Harry and threw her arms around him.”**

Lily started to giggle, and the boys chuckled at her childish laughter.

“And you say you’re not immature,” James teased, and Lily shook her head, still giggling.

“Oh it’s not that,” she said, grinning, “It’s just so adorable!” she squealed, before giggling again.

“We need more birds around here,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head, “I don’t do this girlish squealing nonsense.”

“You should try it sometime,” Lily said, grinning, “I have a feeling it’ll suit you,” she teased, and he chuckled.

“Did someone hit her with a Cheering Charm or something?” he asked, starting to laugh because of her contagious giggles.

“Shouldn’t you be very upset that your son is going alone to face either Snape or Voldemort?” Remus asked, and Lily sighed.

“I am,” she said, “But I have a feeling everything will be okay,” she nodded, and Remus quirked a brow at her.

“And how do you figure this?” he asked, and she beamed at him.

“Mothers instinct?” she suggested, and the boys laughed.

“Instinct for your non-existent child? Very nice,” Sirius sniggered, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“Well since all phases of time are occurring at the same time, which makes it possible for you to use a Time Turner, Harry is technically alive and doing this as we speak,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“You’re crazy,” James chuckled, ruffling her hair, “But I think I’ll keep you anyway.”

“Thanks,” Lily deadpanned, and both Sirius and Remus sniggered as James grinned down at her.

“Let’s get back to the eleven year olds,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled again.

“I cant wait to see his reaction!” she squealed, and James quirked a brow at her as her giggle fit returned.

“Excuse me?” he asked, and she giggled.

“He’s an eleven year old boy!” she squealed, giggling, “And a girl just…just _threw_ herself on him!” she choked out. By this point, the boys had caught on and were snickering, “He’s going to be _scandalized!_ ”

“You’re taking way too much pleasure in this,” Sirius snickered, and Lily shrugged, still giggling.

“Oh go on, Remus, I really want to hear this,” she giggled, falling onto James, who simply continued to laugh, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as she giggled to hold her upright, unsure if he was laughing because of Harry and Hermione, or because Lily was.

**“"Hermione!"”**

Lily giggled even more as Remus read this out, causing the boys to burst out laughing.

“Oh that’s precious,” she laughed.

“Lily, you’re laughing way too hard,” James laughed, slightly exasperated, as tears of laughter started to seep out of her eyes.

“But…it’s so…funny!” Lily wheezed, “ ‘Hermione!’” she mimicked, giggling harder, causing the boys to laugh.

“Evans will you calm the fuck down?” Sirius laughed, shaking his head incredulously.

“But it’s so cute!” Lily giggled, and James shook his head amusedly

“Good luck with this one,” Sirius snorted, grinning at James.

“My bet is still on that Cheering Charm,” Remus said, wiping at his tears of laughter, “Merlin this girl is insane.”

Lily took a deep breath and straightened up, wiping at her face, “Okay, okay, I’m good now,” she said, nodding her head and taking a few more deep breaths.

“You sure?” James asked skeptically, quirking an amused eyebrow at her.

“Yes,” she said, grinning, “Yeah I’m sure.”

“Er, okay then,” Remus smirked, looking back down at the book.

**“"Harry -- you're a great wizard, you know?"**

**"I'm not as good as you," said Harry, very embarrassed, as she let go of him.”**

Lily snickered, and Remus put the book down, grinning, as Sirius rolled his eyes to the heavens, “Oh Merlin not again,” Sirius laughed, as Lily giggled.

“What’s so funny now?” James asked, grinning, pushing Lily’s hair out of her face.

“I just remembered before,” she said, giggling, “because of how embarrassed he is! Oh he’s so cute,” she sighed.

“I think she’s finally done,” Remus said, and Lily grinned at him, nodding.

“I’m serious this time,” she said, and Sirius smirked.

“I have to admit, that was hilarious,” he said, and James snorted, poking Lily on the nose, causing her to crinkle her nose and James to grin.

“Hermione’s really got this parting loving goodbye thing down, hasn’t she?” Lily laughed, “‘Harry, you’re a great wizard, you know?’” she mimicked, and the boys chuckled.

“That and the hug must have rendered the poor eleven year old catatonic,” Remus said, and Lily giggled, nodding.

“As shown by his reply,” she said, giggling and Sirius squawked.

“No!” Sirius laughed, “no more giggling!” he yelled, and Lily laughed, shaking her head.

“I’m _done_ ,” she said, and Sirius snorted, “I _swear_!”

**“"Me!" said Hermione. "Books! And cleverness! There are more important things - friendship and bravery and -- oh Harry -- be careful!"”**

“Isn’t that just the cutest little speech you’ve ever heard?” Lily said, grinning up at James, who smiled down at her.

“I’m no good at this girly squealing, Lil,” he said, and she huffed.

“Useless,” she said, and he smirked as the other two laughed, “You could _try_.”

“Sorry love, I’ve got a reputation to uphold,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Some reputation,” she snorted, “Can’t get a girl to go out with you for five years, it’s brilliant really,” Lily said, and James raised his eyebrows at her as Sirius and Remus burst out laughing.

“I love you,” Sirius said, blowing Lily a kiss, and she giggled, leaning against James.

“No, get off me, I hate you,” James said, and Lily laughed, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and leaning up to press a kiss against his chin.

“Don’t be such a drama queen,” she giggled, her face merely inches away from him, “At least now you’ll be the guy who the girl eventually couldn’t resist,” she reasoned, and James grinned down at her.

“I think I can handle that,” he said, and she grinned at him.

“Oh you _think_ you can?” she teased, and he nodded.

“Honestly you two, your hormones are everywhere,” Remus said, and the other three laughed, Lily and James turning away from each other to look at Remus.

“At least we have hormones,” James said, and Remus gaped as Lily and Sirius sniggered.

“Oh don’t be mean to poor Remus,” Lily chastised, “I’m sure Remus has hormones.”

“Thank you Lily,” Remus said, “See? A female thinks I have hormones. That’s saying something,” he preened, and Sirius and James snorted.

**“"You drink first," said Harry. "You are sure which is which, aren't you?"”**

“First comes the chivalry, then comes the condescension,” Lily said, shaking her head, and the boys laughed.

“He’s just making sure she doesn’t die,” James said and Lily laughed

“I’m sure he wouldn’t want his first hug with a girl to end in her death,” she agreed, and the boys sniggered.

“Look at little Potter, touching a girl before he hits puberty,” Sirius said, and James sniffed.

“I’m so proud,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Because every fathers dream is that his son is lucky with women,” she said and James grinned.

“Well, yeah,” he said, and Lily shook her head, grinning.

“My fathers dream is that I remain single forever,” she laughed, and the boys grinned.

“Well I can see why,” Sirius laughed, “You’re a real catch, Evans.”

“Well, thank you Sirius,” she said, flushing.

“What does your father have to say about your sister?” Remus asked, and Lily laughed.

“I’m pretty certain he’d be happiest if Tuney and I remained single ladies with thousands of cats and don’t even fraternize with boys until we’re forty,” she said, shaking her head fondly, “then again I’m sure that’s true of all fathers when it comes to their daughters,” she sighed, and the boys chuckled.

**“"Positive," said Hermione. She took a long drink from the round bottle at the end, and shuddered.”**

The boys froze, “Oh Merlin is she okay?” Sirius choked, and Remus nodded.

“Yes, yes she’s fine. There’s barely half a page left, nothing could happen,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“It won’t take her hours to die,” she said, “Only a couple minutes, depending on the poison,” she said, and Sirius shot her an exasperated look.

“Shouldn’t you be saying that with a panicked expression on your face?” he asked, and Lily grinned.

“I’m logical,” she shrugged, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“And how does that help?” he asked, and Lily laughed.

“Well, she could have shuddered because she was cold,” Lily reasoned, “and I’d say since she’s walking through fire she should be cold, no?”

“How could you possibly have figured that out?” Sirius asked, exasperatedly, and Lily smiled sheepishly.

“I’ve read about it before,” she admitted, and the boys laughed.

“Of course you have, Potions Princess,” Sirius teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“I can’t ignore _everything_ Slughorn says,” she grumbled, and the boys laughed again.

**“"It's not poison?" said Harry anxiously.**

**"No -- but its like ice."**

**"Quick, go, before it wears off."**

**"Good luck -- take care."**

**"GO!" Hermione turned and walked straight through the purple fire.”**

“Your son is so bossy,” Lily grumbled, nudging James, who snorted.

“ _Your_ son is so bossy,” he shot back, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“He’s even more bossy because he’s got both of your bossiness combined,” Sirius said, laughing.

“Honestly, she’s expressing how much she cares, and he yells at her,” Lily sniffed, “How rude.”

“Sounds a lot like the first five years of our relationship, but opposite,” James mumbled, and Lily shot him a cheeky grin.

“Builds character,” she said, and James rolled his eyes as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Do you have an answer to everything?” James asked exasperatedly, and Lily laughed.

“Oh, yeah. I practice in front of the mirror every morning,” she said, and James chuckled, twirling the ends of her hair in his fingers.

**“Harry took a deep breath and picked up the smallest bottle. He turned to face the black flames.**

**"Here I come," he said, and he drained the little bottle in one gulp. It was indeed as though ice was flooding his body. He put the bottle down and walked forward; he braced himself, saw the black flames licking his body, but couldn't feel them -- for a moment he could see nothing but dark fire -- then he was on the other side, in the last chamber.”**

“Goodness this child is full of poetic wonder,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes

“It wasn’t poetry, it was simple observation,” she said, and Sirius guffawed.

“Only a poet could make simple observations sex to my ears,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“You’re disgusting,” she giggled, and Sirius took a bow

“I try my best, love.”

“I wonder what it must feel like- the ice,” Remus said, and Lily shrugged.

“Cold,” she said cheekily, and James and Sirius burst out laughing as Remus chuckled.

**There was already someone there -- but it wasn't Snape. It wasn't even Voldemort.”**

“WHAT?” Sirius yelled, sitting up straight, “It _wasn’t_? Then who the fuck was it?” he asked, and Remus shrugged.

“We’ll have to see in the next chapter,” he said, and Sirius growled.

“Just turn the page and figure it out,” he said, and Remus snorted.

“I refuse to cheat like that,” he said.

“I wonder who it is,” Lily mused, looking up at James, who shrugged.

“I have no idea,” he said, and she sighed.

“But who could it _be_?” she whined, and the boys chuckled, “nobody else has seemed suspicious!”

“I suppose that’s the magic of life, isn’t it?” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“That’s bullshit,” she quipped, and Sirius sniggered, “I suppose we’ll just have to wait till the next chapter,” she said sadly, and James nodded.

“The last chapter,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for the story to be over,” she said, and James grinned at her.

“Don’t worry love, if you want we can make you a permanent Marauder if you want,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two laughed.

“Tempting, but no thanks,” she said, and Sirius grinned at her.

“You’ll still be our bird, love,” he winked, and Lily grinned at him.

“Thanks Sirius,” she giggled, “I don’t want to stop reading here! Let’s keep going!” she insisted suddenly, only receiving a pitying smile form Remus.

“No can do Lil,” he said, “I’m hungry and I’m pretty sure you made James a promise,” he winked, and James’ eyes brightened instantly as Lily groaned and Sirius sniggered.

“Let’s go love,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“What are you two doing?” she asked Sirius and Remus, who shrugged.

“Probably going to the kitchens,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, “Given Sirius’ stomach conditions.”

“YES! To the kitchens!” Sirius yelled happily, standing up.

“What time is it?” Lily asked, and James looked down at his watch.

“It’s close to lunch,” he said, and Lily nodded, “How about we meet you two in the Great Hall?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as the other two snickered and got up to walk out of the Portrait Hole.

“Enjoy,” Sirius yelled over his shoulder, and Remus guffawed, before the two walked out of the Portrait Hole, turning around to wink at the couple.

“You are incredibly embarrassing,” Lily said, after the other two left, and James grinned down at her.

“Oh I know,” he shrugged, and she laughed, kissing him on the cheek, “So you think your father will ask you to break up with me for your thousands of cats?” he asked, and Lily laughed.

“Most probably,” she said seriously, and James chuckled, “You know,” she said, leaning against him, and he looked down at her, “It’s really strange, that this book is ending,” she said, and he frowned.

“Why is it strange?” he murmured, and she shrugged.

“So much has changed since we started reading this book,” she said quietly, “I’m just kind of scared that it’s going to…you know…change back once the book’s done,” she said, looking up and meeting James’ eyes.

James smiled down at her, “Yes, everything changed after the book started, but it’s not going to change back, I promise,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“You know, you’re pretty decent when you’re not being irritating,” she said, and James grinned down at her.

“It’s amazing isn’t it?” he winked, and she laughed.

“I do believe we had a deal,” she said, and he quirked his brow at her, amused.

“And here I thought you were completely against the deal,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“I have a reputation to protect, Potter, I can’t just announce that I’m willing to snog you,” she said, and he laughed, leaning down and softly pressing his lips to hers.

“So obviously that’s going to be my responsibility,” James murmured as his lips traveled along her jaw towards her ear.

“Obviously,” she breathed, and he grinned against her skin.

“Because of your reputation and all,” he said, nibbling on her earlobe, and Lily whimpered.

“Y-yes,” she managed, and James grinned, fisting his hand in her hair and pulling her head back so he could crush her lips with his.

“Sounds like a good plan,” he said, pulling away for a second. Lily didn’t answer, but simply wove her hands into his hair and pulled his face back to hers, fusing their lips together.

* * *

“Well hello there, have fun?” Sirius asked chirpily as Lily and James walked into the Great Hall about forty minutes later.

“That really isn’t any of your business, now is it?” Lily said, tucked beneath James’ arm, blushing.

“Well that’s rude, considering we were a large part of making it happen,” Sirius said, and Remus nodded.

“Very rude,” he agreed, and James rolled his eyes, smirking.

“Oh sod off you two,” he said, removing his arm from around Lily’s shoulders as they both sat down.

“Anything good?” Lily asked, pulling her hair up into a messy bun, and Remus smirked.

“I see James got you again,” he said, and Lily’s eyes widened, her hand flying up to her neck as the boys laughed, searching for the spot.

“Where is it?” she squeaked, and James reached out a finger, poking her right beneath her ear, “Great, now I have to leave my hair down,” she grumbled, untying her hair, and the boys laughed.

“At least when it happens you can do that,” Remus said, “Us blokes don’t have enough hair to cover it up.”

“Yes, but you lot wear them like trophies,” she teased, and Sirius grinned.

“She has a point there, Moony,” he winked, and Lily laughed, shaking her head.

“So what’s this punishment?” she asked, and James smirked as Sirius groaned.

“You’ll just see tonight,” he winked, and Lily nodded, reaching over to serve herself a spoonful of rice. James reached over and flicked her hair back, causing her to squeal, “You know, there’s nothing as attractive as a girl with a mark,” he mused, and Sirius sniggered.

“Seconded,” he said, raising his goblet of Pumpkin Juice, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You all need help,” she said, smiling.

* * *

After lunch, the majority of the students still remaining went outside to the Courtyard in order to enjoy the sun. As the four of them made their way back to Gryffindor Tower to bide time until Sirius’ punishment was to be done, McGonagall walked by.

“What are you lot doing inside on a day like this?” she asked, her eyes flashing instantly to Lily’s hand in James’, a shocked look flashing across her face, causing Lily to giggle and hide her face behind James’ arm as James grinned.

“Trying ot get us outside so you can cook us up in the sun and eat us?” Sirius asked, and Lily gasped as the other two boys bit back laughter.

“I beg your pardon?” McGonagall asked stiffly, eying Sirius with her best death glare.

“Just saying, if you cooked us up and ate us, you could spend your time doing nothing,” Sirius shrugged, before grabbing Lily’s arm and dragging her away from the shocked McGonagall, Remus and James following after.

“MR. BLACK!” McGonagall yelled after them.

“Buggering _shit_ , RUN!” Sirius yelled, and Lily laughed as he dragged her up to Gryffindor Tower, sprinting.

“Bloody, hell,” she gasped, holding her side, attempting to catch her breath, “Stop making me exercise!”

“Woman, it wasn’t that long of a run,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a glare.

“She isn’t as used to it as we are Pads, cut the girl some slack,” Remus chuckled, taking deep breaths, but otherwise completely fine. James, on the other hand, barely looked bothered.

“Bloody exercising person,” Lily grumbled, and James grinned at her.

“Well, what shall we do to pass our time?” Remus asked, and Lily laughed.

“I do believe there was a chess competition?” she asked, and instantly, Sirius and James eyed each other.

“Bring it on, Prongs,” Sirius said, and James smirked.

“Let’s do this.”

* * *

“I cannot believe I lost,” James grumbled as he and Lily headed over to the Third Floor hallway underneath the cloak.

“Oh don’t be such a baby about it,” Lily giggled, highly amused by her boyfriends inability to be a gracious loser.

“But I _lost_!” he hissed, and she giggled.

“You know, this is incredibly fun,” she said, gesturing to the cloak, “I’ve never wandered the school at night.

“Welcome to the dark side,” James winked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Very punny of you,” she said, and he sniggered, “Where are we going?”

“We stop right here,” James said, and Lily frowned, eying the long hallway extending to her right and the corner in front of her.

“I don’t see how this is a punishment,” she said, and he grinned.

“Oh you’ll see.”

“James?” a voice called, and Lily jumped, causing James to grin, “Prongs? Lil? You there?”

“Remus?” Lily whispered, and he chuckled.

“Show yourselves,” Remus whispered, and James slowly removed the cloak, causing Lily to squeak.

“We could be caught!” she hissed, and James shook his head.

“We’re going to be visible for about five mintues,” he shrugged, “No big deal. Besides, at this time of the night Filch is usually on the Seventh Floor.”

“You lot need a life,” Lily giggled, holding onto James’ hand, feeling incredibly jumpy in the middle of the cold corridor, “Where’s Sirius?” she asked. Remus looked down at hiw watch and grinned.

“Give it about thirty seconds,” he said, and Lily frowned.

“What?”

“Just look ahead,” James said, nodding towards the corner, and Lily frowned.

“I don’t undrest-”

“Here he comes,” Remus announced, and both he and James began to clap. Lily looked between them, confused, and hten looked forwards and squealed, hiding her face in her hands as she blushed profusely

“You cant hide your face Lil,” James laughed, putting his arm around her shoudlres, and she looked up, incredibly embarrassed just as a completely naked Sirius Black zoomed around the corner, sprinting for his life.

“ALL THE WAY TO THE ASTRONOMY TOWER, MATE!” James yelled after him, and Lily shook her head, laughing.

“It’s bloody _freezing!”_ she said, looking after Sirius, only to start laughing, “What’s that you’ve done to him?”

“He’s already naked,” Remus shrugged, “Why not paint his bum?”

“Oh goodness,” Lily giggled, “You lot are _crazy_. I am _never_ becoming a Marauder. I refuse to ever do something like this,” she laughed, and Remus sniggered.

“I doubt Prongs would let you,” he said, and James laughed, shaking his head.

“No I probably wouldn’t.”

“I like what you did to his hair, by the way,” Remus said, and Lily flushed as James laughed.

“The multiple braids really does bring out his eyes,” James snickered, and Lily grinned.

“What was that he was holding?” Lily asked, and James gasped.

“Oh, here, check it out,” James said, pulling something out of his pocket, “Can’t belive I almost forgot.”

Lily looked down at James’ hands to see Sirius’ panicked face, the ceilings of Hogwarts rushing by as he ran, and giggled, “What is this?”

“Enchanted Mirror,” Remus shrugged, looking over James’ shoulder, “You better go receive him, mate,” Remus said, and James sniggered.

“See you tomorrow Lil,” he said, kissing her lightly, before whipping his wand out, casting a Dillusionment charm, and walking off. Remus spread out the cloak, and threw it over himself and Lily, the two of them making their way back to the Tower.

“What was that they were saying earlier about the punishment? That you said I’d be embarrassed by?” she asked suddenly, and Remus snickered.

_“She can’t watch!”_

_“She won’t see everything,” James promised, and Sirius rolled his eyes_

_“Why? Scared she’ll ditch you?”_

_“Not at all,” James winked, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him._

“Oh Merlin,” Lily groaned as the memory replayed in her head, and Remus sniggered.

“Fun bunch you’ve chosen to hang around with, haven’t you?” Remus laughed, and Lily shook her head, giggling.

“Fun bunch,” she agreed, nodding her head.

* * *

 


	18. The Man with Two Faces

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters; I simply play with J.K. Rowling’s work.**

* * *

Lily woke up the next morning to the sound of snorting, and frowned, eyes still closed, wondering what was happening. The snort sounded again. She opened her eyes, still lying down, and looked around. The bed hangings were shut, so she knew she was in her bed. The snort sounded once more. She frowned for a second, wondering if Marlene was back, when another noise sounded. This time it was a cough. Her eyes widened and she sat up quickly with a squeak, pulling the hangings away.

“Oh good morning,” James said from the bed next to hers, a book propped up on his knees, sending her a smile.

“W-what?” she stammered, looking around the dormitory, only to realize she wasn’t in her own, “What the hell am I doing in your dormitory?” she asked, jumping to her feet, and James chuckled.

“You fell asleep on the sofa last night, love, so we brought you up here,” he shrugged, and she frowned at him.

“Why couldn’t you have taken me back to _my_ dormitory?” she asked, and he smirked.

“You really are a dumb troll in the morning,” he chuckled, “I can’t get up your stairs, love, remember?” he said, and she sighed.

“Okay,” she grumbled, before heading towards the door.

“Where are you going?” James called after her, causing- Sirius, she thought bitterly- to snort once more and Remus to roll over, frowning.

“Stop being so bloody loud,” Remus grumbled, and Lily giggled as James rolled his eyes

“Is he awake?” Lily asked, and James shook his head.

“He says these kinds of things when he’s asleep. It’s irritating, actually,” he said, and Lily smiled.

“I’ll see you later then,” she said, and he hopped of his bed, striding over to her.

“I never got a good morning from you, you know,” he said, and Lily quirked a brow. Her eyes widened suddenly, and James raised his brows at her as her hand flew up to cover her mouth.

“I’m going,” she said, with her hand over her mouth, and James smirked.

“Why are you covering your mouth?” he asked, amused, and she let out an exasperated sigh.

“Because I haven’t brushed my teeth yet,” she whispered loudly, as if it was the most logical secret in the world, and he grinned.

“Okay, you go do that,” he said, covering his own mouth with his hand. Lily rolled her eyes at him and saw his eyes crinkle at the corners, telling her that he was grinning at her.

“I will,” she said, before turning around, swaying slightly in her drowsy, sleepy state. James placed his hand on her waist to steady her, and she turned around to face him, eyes narrowed, “I don’t need your help,” she said, and he chuckled.

“I just saved you from falling over, the least you could do is say thank you,” he said, and she sighed.

“Thank you,” she said, and he laughed.

“You really are loopy in the morning,” he said, and she glared at him.

“I am _not_ ,” she grumbled, and he winked at her.

“You better go brush your teeth so I don’t have to do this anymore,” he said, and Lily glared at him.

“Nobody told _you_ to cover _your_ mouth,” she said, “Although I must say it is an improvement.”

“Will you two shut up?” Sirius whined, sitting up, and the two started, their heads snapping over to see Sirius sitting up, frowning at them, “What the fuck are you doing?” he asked, and both Lily and James dropped their hands from their mouths, grinning at Sirius.

“Stop being so bloody loud,” Remus grumbled once more, and Sirius rolled his eyes, throwing one of his pillows towards Remus’ bed.

“Bloody sleep talker,” Sirius huffed, before turning to glare at Lily, “Get out Evans, you’re making everyone in here loud,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as James guffawed.

“Because you’re usually the epitome of silence, right Sirius?” Lily teased, but all the same, made her way towards the door as he snorted, flopping back down on the bed, covering his eyes with his arm.

“I am when people are sleeping,” he grumbled, and Lily grinned

“You should go before his highness decides to make you leave,” James said wisely, ruffling his hair with his hand.

“Bye boys,” Lily whispered loudly, and Sirius groaned as James snickered. Remus simply twitched. Lily, grinning, took the final step towards the door, her hand reaching out, when it flew open, Lily jumping back, her back slamming into James’ front, his hands grabbing her hips to steady them both, in order to avoid being hit by the door.

The slamming of the door against the wall as it flew open caused Sirius to sit up, murder on his expression, and Remus to actually wake up.

“The _fuck_ are you doing, Evans?” Sirius growled, as Remus looked around groggily, bringing his hand up to rub his eyes.

“I didn’t do it!” Lily squeaked, looking away from the door to Sirius, and Remus frowned at her.

“Lily?” he said, disoriented.

“No, its Dumbledore, you idiot,” Sirius said, and Remus rubbed his eyes with both fists, pushing himself up so he was sitting cross legged on the bed.

“Why’s Lily in our dorm?” Remus asked, and Lily smiled at how adorable he looked, sitting confusedly on his bed, hair in disorder.

“Better yet, why’s Lily slamming doors when people are _sleeping_?”

“I just said I-”

“Ms. Evans,” a curt voice said from the doorway, cutting off her statement, and Lily paled as she turned to see a furious McGonagall standing there, arms crossed.

“P-Professor!” Lily said, her voice a bit too high.

“What is it you are doing in the boys dormitories?” she asked, her nostrils flared, and Lily felt James’ hands give her a comforting squeeze on her hips. She heard Sirius’ quiet snigger from behind her and made a mental note to murder him soon.

“I found her asleep on the couch last night, Professor, so I brought her up here and let her sleep in one of the beds,” James said quickly, and Lily nodded her head.

“I find that hard to believe, Potter,” McGonagall said bitterly, her eyes narrowing as she took in Lily’s disheveled appearance and James’ messy hair.

“Use some Veritaserum if you’re in doubt,” Sirius mumbled, having buried his face in his pillow once more, causing everyone’s heads to snap over to him.

“Mr. Black,” McGonagall snapped, and Sirius groaned.

“I’m already doing a detention for you,” he whined, and Lily bit her lip to stop herself from laughing at the look of unadulterated shock on McGonagall’s face, “Can everyone stop being _loud_?” he whined, and Lily giggled.

“I was just leaving Professor, I swear, you simply scared me,” she said.

“Be sure that I never catch you in this dormitory again,” McGonagall said

“We’ll be sneaky then,” James whispered, and Lily clenched her fists, willing herself not to blush.

“Anything we can help you with, Professor?” Remus asked, and McGonagall shot him a look.

“Professor Dumbledore would like to see the lot of you at noon,” she said, and James felt Lily freeze underneath his fingers

“What for Professor?” Lily asked, her voice small under the disapproving glare.

“He said you would know what it was about,” she said sternly, “Now, I must be off,” she said, before raising her eyebrows expectantly at Lily, gesturing to the door.

“Kitchens,” James whispered quickly in her hair, and Lily nodded slightly. She stepped out of James’ grasp and walking out the door, followed by McGonagall who shot the boys all stern glances, closing the door behind her.

* * *

“Hello,” James sung, sitting down next to her on the bench. She had come down to the kitchens a little while back, and had already finished eating her breakfast. She looked up as Sirius and Remus lowered themselves across from her, and grinned as Sirius shot her a nasty look.

“Are you angry at me for this morning?” she teased, and Sirius shook his head, “You still bitter about the punishment last night?” she teased, and he scowled at her as James and Remus laughed.

“Not as bitter as the fact that you were there,” he said, and the other two boys sniggered.

“Well Sirius, you have to think about consequences before you commit actions. I hope you learned your lesson,” James said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at him.

“I have a bloody cold,” he grumbled, sniffling, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Go to the hospital wing,” she said, and Sirius snorted.

“For a _cold_?” he gasped, “I’ll come across as such a pansy! I refuse,” he said, and sniffled once again, causing Lily to laugh

”Fine, sniffle away like a child then,” she shrugged, and Sirius pouted at her as James and Remus laughed.

“We brought the book,” Remus said, and Lily paled.

“Think that’s why Dumbledore wants to talk to us?” Lily squeaked, and James shrugged.

“At least we’ll be done with it by the meeting,” James said simply, and Lily let out a shriek of indignation, causing the other two to smirk.

“Oh relax Evans,” Sirius said, sniffling once more, “What’s the worst he can do to us? All we’re really doing is reading a book. It’s not like he said we _couldn’t_ read it,” he said, exchanging a mischievous grin with James.

“He didn’t say we could,” Lily retorted, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“You worry too much,” he said, “Bloody fucking hell!” he said, sniffling in once again, and Lily burst into a fit of giggles, “It’s not _funny_ Evans, I’m dying here,” he said, and both James and Remus snorted.

“Sirius is a bit of a baby when he’s sick,” Remus stage whispered to Lily, who smirked back at him.

“I wouldn’t have known,” she deadpanned, and Sirius glared at her as the other two laughed, “In his defense, all men are babies when they’re sick,” she shrugged, and the boys glared at her.

“At least you think we’re men,” James shrugged, and Lily sighed exasperatedly as the other two sniggered. Sirius sniffled once more and Lily rolled her eyes, conjuring up a pile of napkins beside him.

“Blow your nose. Sniffling it back in is disgusting,” she said, and Sirius smirked at her, inhaling deeply and Lily’s face contorted in disgust as the boys sniggered.

“Well, since we’re going to have to get rid of our beloved book, I move we finish it before giving it back to Dumbledore,” Remus said, pulling the book out of his robes and placing it on the table.

“That was in your robes?” Lily asked, and Sirius snorted.

“Moony’s robes are like Hagrids coat,” he said, and Remus shot him a glare as Lily laughed.

“Master Potter!” a house elf squeaked, and they all turned to see Mitsy the elf grinning at them from the floor next to James, “Master Black! Master Lupin!”

“Hello again Mitsy,” Remus said, smiling.

“What can Mitsy get you?” she asked

“The usual, Mits,” Sirius said, and the elf pinked slightly before bowing and running away.

“Can you make _all_ females blush?” Lily asked, bewildered, and Sirius smirked.

“Even with my cold Evans, I still got it,” he winked, and she shook her head fondly as the other two snorted.

“Lil why don’t you get a move on and read the book, we don’t have all day,” James said, and Lily sighed, nodding, reaching over for the book and opening it to the right page.

“You ready for the last chapter?” she asked, and the boys sighed.

“I can’t believe it’s over,” James mumbled, and Lily nudged him.

“It’s just a book James, goodness,” she teased, and he rolled his eyes as the other two laughed, throwing his arm around her shoulders.

“Just read, Red,” he said, and Lily grinned.

**“The Man with Two Faces”**

“OH!” Sirius yelled, and Lily turned to him, alarmed, “We get to find out who the bad guy is!” he squawked, and the others eyes widened.

“How could I have forgotten?” Remus squeaked, “Read Lily! Read!”

“For the love of Merlin _read_!” James added dramatically, and Remus shot him an amused look.

**“** **It was Quirrell.”**

“WHAT?” Remus yelled, reaching forwards and grabbing the book from Lily, “That can’t be right,” he said, looking down at the book, his eyes widening at the confirmation.

“Quirrell? That- that stuttering fool? How- just- how?” Sirius asked.

“What about when the broom was cursed? That was Snape!” Remus said frantically, staring down at the three words at the top of the page.

“Wow,” Lily said, shaking her head, bemused, “You were right,” she said, turning to James, who frowned at her, as did the others.

“I don’t remember James saying it was Quirrell,” Sirius snorted, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He said he had a bad feeling about Quirrell, remember?” she asked, and James beamed.

“I did say that,” he said happily, and the others shot him nasty looks.

“Not like you predicted it was him,” Sirius retorted, and James shrugged, grinning.

“Wait,” Lily said, interrupting before James could shoot something back, “What about everything that happened between Snape and Quirrell? With Snape threatening Quirrell?”

“Maybe Snape knew,” Remus reasoned, “I mean, he’s in league with Voldemort, or, at least he was,” he said, frowning.

“What does the title of this chapter mean?” Lily asked suddenly, and James shrugged.

“That Quirrell is a two faced bastard?” he suggested, and Lily shot him an exasperated look as he grinned cheekily at her.

“He’s still preening because he was right,” Sirius grumbled, and Lily giggled at Sirius’ put out expression. Just then, plates of food appeared in front of the boys, “FOOD!” Sirius yelled, before erupting in an enormous coughing fit, causing the other three to burst out laughing.

“I love this cold,” Lily said happily, “He can’t yell much.”

“I’ll die trying love,” Sirius said, his voice raspy, and Lily smiled at him.

“Keep reading,” James insisted, nudging her, “I want to see what happens next! This is the _climax_!”

“And you’d know all about climaxes,” Sirius said, and James winked back at him as Lily flushed.

“Yes,” Remus said, “He does have to make everything dirty,” and Lily groaned.

“I cannot wait until my friends get back,” she said, and the boys smirked at her.

“You don’t mean that,” Sirius said, “You won’t be able to stop spending time with us.”

“Give me the fucking book,” Lily said, and Remus passed it back, smirking, as James and Sirius sniggered, “Eat your fucking food.”

“Yes mummy,” James muttered under his breath, grinning as Lily elbowed him in the side.

**“"You!" gasped Harry.”**

Sirius started to snigger and Lily sighed, lowering the book to shoot him a questioning glance as the other two laughed at her reaction, “What?” she asked, sounding slightly bored.

“I just love how funny this kid is,” Sirius said, sniggering some more, “‘ _You!_ ’” he said dramatically, before breaking down in more giggles.

“Is dementia another side effect of his colds?” Lily asked Remus, who smirked at her, taking a bite of his toast.

**“Quirrell smiled. His face wasn't twitching at all.”**

“I have to say,” Sirius started, and Lily sighed.

“Of course you do,” she mumbled, and James, the only one who heard her, smirked down at her.

“This man deserves an award for his acting skills,” Sirius said.

“I have to agree with him,” Remus said, nodding, “He had us all fooled.”

“Even young Harry, who, as we’ve established, is smarter than us all put together,” Sirius said.

“Yes, we’ve established that Quirrell is a sneaky two faced bastard, can we move on now?” Lily asked, and the boys burst out laughing.

“What’s with the bad mouth today Evans?” James teased, and Lily shrugged.

“Bad morning,” she said, and the boys sniggered.

“Come on Lil, waking up with three boys isn’t the worst thing in the world,” Sirius winked, and Lily shot him a sardonic glance as the others sniggered

“In fact, I’m sure tons of girls dream of sleeping with three boys,” James agreed, and Remus smirked.

“Does this mean you’re open to sharing?” he asked, and James glared at him as Lily and Sirius laughed.

“I in no way said anything along those lines,” James said, putting his arm possessively around Lily, who rolled her eyes

“Merlin James, you might as well pee on me,” she grumbled, and James let out a bark of laughter as the other two sniggered.

“ _Pee_ on you? Why?” he teased, and she flushed.

“That’s how dogs mark their territory,” she said simply, and James smirked as the other two continued to snigger.

“Well if you insist,” James said, and Lily’s face contorted with disgust, causing him to laugh, “You’re incredibly entertaining to have around,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to her temple, “I think I’ll keep you.”

“What ruined your morning though, love?” Sirius teased, “It couldn’t have been waking up with three dashing blokes,” he said, and the boys smirked.

“It wasn’t,” Lily said, a blush creeping onto her cheeks as the boys burst out laughing, “ _That was not what I was saying_ ,” she protested, “I meant _McGonagall_ , you twats!”

“I thought it was rather amusing,” James said, cutting his waffles.

“It was until I had to walk down the bloody stairs with her,” Lily grumbled, and the boys’ eyes widened.

“WHAT HAPPENED?” Sirius yelled, coughing as the noise irritated his throat, “What did she say?”

“She basically gave me a talk about responsibility and respect for Hogwarts _and_ my own body,” Lily said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Respect for your own body?” James asked, amused, “I wouldn’t think _that_ could be disrespect,” he winked, and Lily glared at him as the others sniggered, “If anything, allowing your body to be pleasured is respect.”

“Shut up,” Lily advised, turning back to the book as the boys laughed.

**“"Me," he said calmly. "I wondered whether I'd be meeting you here, Potter."**

**"But I thought — Snape —"**

**"Severus?" Quirrell laughed, and it wasn't his usual quivering treble, either, but cold and sharp. "Yes, Severus does seem the type, doesn't he? So useful to have him swooping around like an overgrown bat. Next to him, who would suspect p-p-poor, st-stuttering P-Professor Quirrell?"”**

Lily glared down at the book, but was distracted by a choking noise to her right, She looked up to see James, his mouth full of waffles, attempting not to laugh, “What?” she asked

“The overgrown bat thing,” Remus sighed, his lips twitching with laughter.

“But we’ve already established that,” Lily laughed.

“It’s always funny,” Sirius sniggered, and Lily rolled her eyes, amused.

“I cannot believe this man is so devious,” Remus said, shaking his head, “he seemed so innocent.”

“It was his master plan, Moony, he just admitted it,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“But it’s not fair to be so mean to Harry about this,” Lily said, shaking her head, “I mean, Snape doesn’t just seem like the type, he _is_ the type,” she said, and the boys nodded.

“Kids got good instincts,” James finally managed.

“Oh, alive are you?” Lily asked, and James grinned at her as the others laughed, “I thought you had died.”

“Would you cry?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two laughed.

“Did you _see_ me crying?” she asked, and James shrugged.

“You’d cry,” he said simply, and Lily shook her head fondly, “See you haven’t denied it!”

“Yes, you idiot, I would cry,” she said, and James grinned at her, “Can we move on and make sure Harry doesn’t die?”

“Would you cry more for him or for me?” James asked, and Lily sighed exasperatedly as Sirius and Remus burst out laughing.

“He’s my baby,” Lily said, and James snorted.

“He doesn’t exist yet.”

“So?” she shot back, and James huffed.

“This is a pointless argument,” Remus said, and Lily nodded.

“I couldn’t agree more,” she said, wincing as Sirius blew his nose noisily on one of the napkins, “Ew,” she whimpered, and both Remus and James laughed.

“ _You’re_ the one who gave me the bloody napkins!” Sirius protested, and Lily shuddered, causing him to roll his eyes amusedly as the other two continued to snicker.

**“Harry couldn't take it in.”**

“That sounds naughty to me,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him.

“Everything sounds naughty to you,” she grumbled, and the others laughed.

“I’ve met many a broad who this situation applies to,” Sirius said, and Lily groaned as the other two sniggered.

“I don’t give a fuck,” Lily said, and James burst out laughing.

“You have got to stop swearing, woman,” he said, ruffling her hair, “Think about the elves!”

“Oh,” Lily said, looking towards the house elves, “Shit, I should stop, my bad,” she said, and the boys chuckled, “Can’t have them knowing any more foul words, given what we heard the last time,” she said, and they smirked.

**“This couldn't be true, it couldn't.”**

“Believe it baby!” Sirius said, and Lily dropped her head, her forehead hitting the table.

“Kill me now,” she groaned, and James chuckled, gently running his hand over her hair.

“Not yet, I have many plans for you,” he said, and Lily swung at him, James dodging her hand effortlessly, causing the other boys to laugh.

**“"But Snape tried to kill me!"”**

“Yes! Good!” Lily squeaked

“Oh, I thought Quirrell had said that,” Remus mumbled, and the other three burst out laughing.

“This reminds me of Padfoots whole ‘announce when you’re reading’ thing,” James snorted, and Lily laughed.

“I’d forgotten about that!” she giggled, grinning at Sirius, whose jaw dropped.

“You forgot about something I said?”

“Always,” she winked.

**“"No, no, no. I tried to kill you.”**

“No,” Remus said quickly, shaking his head, “It was Snape! We have _proof_ it was Snape!” he said.

“Snape wasn’t blinking,” James said, and Remus nodded in agreement. Sirius simply shrugged.

“Bats don’t blink, do they?” he asked Remus, who snorted, as Lily and James shook their heads fondly.

“You’re incredibly calm for someone who has just heard their potential godson was almost killed by this man,” James said, and Sirius gasped.

“I’m Godfather?” he squeaked, and Lily snorted.

“He said potential,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus sniggered.

“The way I see it, all we can do is read ahead and figure it out,” Sirius said, and Lily’s jaw dropped.

“He’s so…rational,” Lily said, frowning in confusion.

“It’s the cold,” Remus said, and Lily nodded in understanding. Sirius glared at them both.

“I’ll kill you all,” he said, and Remus smirked.

“See what he’d do to be Godfather? I don’t think that’s the kind of person you want to leave your child with,” he said wisely, and both Lily and James laughed as Sirius stuck his middle finger up at Remus.

**“Your friend Miss Granger accidentally knocked me over as she rushed to set fire to Snape at that Quidditch match.”**

“She did!” Lily gasped, bouncing in her seat, “Remember? She knocked into ‘poor Professor Quirrell’ or something!”

“How is it you remember that?” Sirius asked, frowning, and the other boys snickered

“I’d have thought you’d be more concerned with the possible death of your baby,” Remus agreed, and Lily shot them glares.

“I’m observant,” she said, and Sirius gasped

“So _that’s_ where he gets his poetry skills from!” he yelled, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as Remus and James laughed, “Come on Evans! Give us some poetry!”

“In your dreams Black,” she snorted.

“Come on Lil,” James teased, nudging her, “Let out some poetry, pour your heart and soul!” he said, and other boys snorted.

“The poetry must have come from him,” Lily said, and shook his head.

“He isn’t observant enough,” he said, and Lily groaned as Remus and James sniggered.

“You want poetry?” Lily asked, and the boys nodded, “Fine. Roses are red, violets are blue, you’re ugly and I don’t like you,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“That’s brilliant,” Sirius wheezed, “Oh Merlin, I can’t laugh like this, I can’t breathe,” he said, picking up a napkin and once again blowing his nose.

“True poetry,” James said, wiping away an imaginary tear, and Lily snorted.

“Can I please read?” she asked, bored, and the boys smirked at her, “Oh shut up, idiots. At least I’m concerned with the possibility of Harry’s imminent death,” she snapped, and James quirked a brow.

“Hormonal today, aren’t you?” he said, and Lily shot him a look of mingled amusement and irritation, causing him to grin.

“I like how he said that,” Remus said suddenly, “Rushed to set fire to Snape,” he said, and the others laughed.

“Has a nice ring to it,” Sirius agreed, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“Don’t you dare Sirius Black,” Lily said, “I can see that plan forming in your mind,” she said, and Sirius smirked at her.

“But Lily!” he said dramatically, and she shot him a disapproving glare as the other two snickered.

“He obviously wasn’t trying to kill Harry, so you can’t burn him alive,” she said, and the boys sighed sadly.

“Then what was he doing?” James asked, and Lily bit her lip.

“Maybe we should keep reading,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded, looking down at the book as Sirius blew his nose once more, her lips twitching at his muttered ‘fucking nose’.

**“She broke my eye contact with you. Another few seconds and I'd have got you off that broom.”**

“Thank Merlin for Hermione Granger,” Sirius sighed, and Lily grinned.

“Amen!” she said happily, and the boys laughed.

“Oh shut up,” Sirius chuckled, and she grinned at him.

“I’m so proud of you, Sirius, for complimenting my minion,” she squealed, “I think I’ll help you,” she said, and he quirked a brow at her.

“Pardon?” he asked, and Lily grinned. She pulled her wand out and pointed it at his face, causing him to pale, “Evans,” he said in a warning tone, “James!” he squeaked as Lily didn’t move, but James shrugged.

“She said help,” he said, watching Lily in fascination.

“Pray for me,” Sirius whispered, and James rolled his eyes amusedly as Remus laughed.

“Oh shut up Sirius, I’m genuinely going to help,” she said, and then winced, “This is going to be ridiculously gross,” she groaned, before conjuring up a bucket, “Hold that underneath your nose.”

“The fuck are you going to do?” Sirius squeaked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Do you trust me?” she asked, and Sirius sighed.

“Unfortunately,” he grumbled, and Lily grinned. She waved her wand in complicated patterns, muttering under her breath, and both James and Remus gagged, turning away from the scene as Sirius’ nose began to run into the bucket, “Bloody hell!” Sirius squeaked, raising the bucket so it was right underneath his draining nose, “What the hell are you doing?”

Lily simply smiled and looked up at the ceiling until it had stopped, before vanishing the bucket from Sirius’ hands, “Breathe in,” she said, and he inhaled, yelling out happily at the lack of liquid in his nostrils.

“EVANS!” he yelled happily, his hand flying up to his throat in wonder, as the yell didn’t result in a massive coughing fit, “I LOVE YOU!”

“Yes, yes,” she laughed, as James turned to her incredulously

“Where did you learn to do that?”

“Being a Healer is one of my potential careers,” she shrugged, “So I read up on it.”

“Obviously,” Remus chuckled, and Lily flushed, smiling to herself.

“Lily you are my favourite person,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling.

“Why didn’t you just do that in the first place?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Because it was gross,” she said, and the three boys grimaced in agreement.

“I had no idea a nose could contain that much liquid,” James shuddered, and Lily laughed.

“Let’s just move on, shall we?” she asked, “I want to hear this story.”

**“I'd have managed it before then if Snape hadn't been muttering a counter curse, trying to save you."”**

Lily’s jaw dropped in awe as the others looked at the book in shock, “ _Save_ him?” she gasped, her voice sounding slightly choked, “But why?”

“Because he’s your son,” Remus said quietly, and Lily bit her lip.

“I was so mean to him that day,” she said, “He was trying to _save_ him?” she repeated, and James nodded sadly.

“You going to forgive him?” he asked, and Lily looked up at him quickly.

“It’s not a matter of forgiving him,” she said quietly, feeling three sets of gazes on her, “We’re in different worlds. Even if I did forgive him, if I allowed him to be my friend again, it wouldn’t change the fact that he’s going to go out and become a Death Eater, that he’s going to murder people like me,” she said, and James put his arm around her shoulder, “I just, I cant believe he tried to save my baby,” she said, and James gave her a little squeeze.

“You know he would,” he said simply, and Lily nodded.

“He’s a good guy, or at least, he used to be,” she said, and the boys smiled sympathetically.

“Lil,” Remus said gently, “You can’t always believe in the good in everyone."

“I know,” Lily sighed, “but a girl can dream,” she said with a small smile, and the boys chuckled.

“If you’re going to dream about men, dream about me, please,” James said, and the other three laughed.

“I’d hate to think of you dreaming about Snape,” Sirius shuddered, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly.

“Shut up and let me read,” she said simply, and the boys grinned at her.

**“"Snape was trying to save me?"”**

“Oh not this crap again,” Sirius huffed, and Lily burst out laughing.

“He never said it!” she laughed.

“Yes but you did,” he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as James and Remus smirked at her.

“I’d have expected you to be upset,” James said, and Lily smirked at him.

‘I’m full of surprises, James Potter,” she said, and he smiled at her.

“Oh I know,” he said, and Lily blushed slightly before turning back to the book.

**“"Of course," said Quirrell coolly. "Why do you think he wanted to referee your next match?”**

“Oh bullshit, he was doing that for Quidditch,” James snorted, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I know you believe the world revolves around that game, but it doesn’t,” she said, and James eyed her amusedly as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“It must be the Quidditch captain in him,” Sirius said wisely, and Remus smirked.

“I thought Lily was the new Quidditch Captain?” he asked, and Sirius gasped, his palm slapping his forehead.

“Of course!” he gasped, “James, you have to listen to the Captain,” he said, and James rolled his eyes as Lily laughed, her head resting on his shoulder.

“Hear that James, you have to listen to me,” she teased, and he shook his head, his messy hair brushing the top of Lily’s head.

**“He was trying to make sure I didn't do it again. Funny, really . . . he needn't have bothered. I couldn't do anything with Dumbledore watching. All the other teachers thought Snape was trying to stop Gryffindor from winning, he did make himself unpopular”**

“Always been a talent,” Sirius agreed, and Lily shot him an annoyed look as he beamed at her.

“We’re at the climax of the novel, will you please shut up?” she asked, and Sirius smirked.

“What’s with you and James and climaxes?” he asked, and Lily flushed a brilliant maroon as James smirked, slicing the last of his waffles.

“Very interconnected,” James said, and Lily whacked the back of his head, causing him to snigger madly.

“It’s like dating a toddler,” Lily said, and Remus smirked.

“That’s a strange fetish Lily.”

“You disgust me,” she said bluntly as Sirius and James roared with laughter, “Anyway, we only have three hours until we have to see Dumbledore,” she said, and James smirked.

“How slowly do you read, Evans?”

“That is besides the point,” she said, and the boys smirked at her, as she turned back to the book, unable to look at James.

“Avoiding my eye, now, are we?” James asked, and Lily snorted.

“You’re not worth looking at,” she said simply, and Sirius guffawed.

“I bet a his little fan club would disagree,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed as James glared at him.

“It is not a _little_ fan club,” James said and Sirius smirked.

“Mine’s bigger,” he said, and James snorted.

“As if,” he said, and Lily shot Remus an exasperated look, to which he grinned.

“Do you know whose is bigger?” he asked, and Lily smirked, before turning back to the book as Sirius and James gasped.

“WHOSE?” Sirius roared, placing both hands on the table and leaning towards Lily as James looked down at her.

“I can’t say,” Lily laughed.

“Oh, _come on_!” James whined, nudging her, and Lily raised her brows at him, earning only a cheeky grin in response.

“Honestly? It’s Remus’ fan club,” she said, and the boys spluttered as Remus gawked at her.

“It is not,” he said, and Sirius nodded.

“I agree! It can’t be!” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“The younger girls find him reassuring and comforting,” she said, and Remus groaned, hiding his face in his hands as the other two looked at Lily, flabbergasted, “Not to mention that he’s good looking. Add those to his fan club of older girls and he wins.”

“You think Moony is good looking?” James spluttered, and Lily grinned at him as Remus’ ears turned red.

“Figures that that’s the only thing you hear,” she laughed.

“So we have to start being nice?” Sirius asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“Your fan club is huge, Sirius, stop being such a prick,” she said, and he beamed.

“What about James’ fan club?” he asked, and Lily giggled.

“Given the amount of hate mail I’ve received over the years, it’s huge,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Hate mail?” James asked, laughing, and Lily nodded.

“One of them had Zonkos itching powder in them,” she said, shuddering, and the boys burst out laughing, “That had to be the worst day of fourth year.”

“Oh yes, itch yourself out of James’ heart,” Sirius drawled, and the others burst out laughing.

“Foolproof plan,” James snorted, taking Lily’s hand in his.

“Let’s just see what’s happening with Harry,” Remus chuckled, and Lily nodded, looking down at the book.

**“. . . and what a waste of time, when after all that, I'm going to kill you tonight."”**

The atmosphere around the four of them changed instantly, the light mood suddenly heavy with fear.

“I forgot he was dangerous,” Lily whispered, shaking her head, “Merlin, think of all the things he’s done!”

“Harry won’t die, will he?” Sirius asked, looking to Remus, who shrugged, his face slightly paler than usual.

“I think Quirrell’s going to try to make that happen,” Remus said slowly, and Lily whimpered, shifting closer to James, who squeezed her hand tightly in his, his own expression that of panic.

**“Quirrell snapped his fingers. Ropes sprang out of thin air and wrapped themselves tightly around Harry.”**

The blood seemed to drain from all of their faces.

“How’s he going to get out of this one?” James asked nobody in particular, the last bite of his waffle left forgotten on his plate.

“I don’t see how he could, he’s only eleven,” Lily said quietly, chewing on her bottom lip.

**“"You're too nosy to live, Potter. Scurrying around the school on Halloween like that, for all I knew you'd seen me coming to look at what was guarding the Stone."**

**"You let the troll in?"”**

“Obviously,” James mumbled, and Lily started to giggle.

“How can you giggle at a time like this?” Sirius asked, bewildered, but Lily kept giggling, hiding her face in James’ shoulder.

“Is this one of those times when you’re so stressed you start to laugh?” Remus asked, a smile slowly spreading across his face as he watched Lily continue to laugh.

“Yes,” she managed to choke out, her body still shaking with giggles, “I’m so sorry,” she added, “I have inappropriate reactions to this kind of stress,” she said, taking a few deep breaths.

“Are you one of those people who smiles at funerals?” James asked, a grin on his face from Lily’s contagious laughter, and she nodded solemnly.

“It’s a curse,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Well you certainly managed to lighten to mood,” Remus said, and Lily shook her head sadly, a small smile on her face.

**“"Certainly. I have a special gift with trolls — you must have seen what I did to the one in the chamber back there? Unfortunately, while everyone else was running around looking for it, Snape, who already suspected me, went straight to the third floor to head me off — and not only did my troll fail to beat you to death, that three-headed dog didn't even manage to bite Snape's leg off properly.”**

“Why is he trying to make sure Voldemort doesn’t come to power?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head slowly

“I don’t know,” she said quietly, frowning

“To protect Harry?” James suggested.

“But Harry would have been fine, Snape didn’t know he hadn’t gone back to the Common Room,” Remus said, frowning, “It seems like he doesn’t want Voldemort getting the stone, but why?”

“Wait,” Lily said, frowning, “Why is it Voldemort? Quirrell is trying to get the stone.”

“It was Voldemort in the Forest though, remember?” James said, “It has to be for him.”

“But that’s not nearly enough proof,” Lily huffed, crossing her arms, “Maybe he wants it for himself.”

“No,” Sirius choked, and they all turned to him to see him looking at James with wide eyes, “Remember that one part? Where Quirrell was whimpering in a room by himself?”

“When Harry believed he’d cracked?” James asked, and Sirius nodded.

“Didn’t he say the word ‘master’?” Sirius managed, and the other three froze.

“I think that’s enough proof,” Lily squeaked, “But how would he have been talking to Voldemort? He couldn’t have been here!” she said, looking around at the walls of Hogwarts, an expression of slight fear on her face.

“Death Eaters must have some way of talking to him,” James said.

“But Dumbledore wouldn’t hire a Death Eater!” Lily squeaked.

“He hired Snape,” Remus said quietly, and Lily froze, her eyes rounding.

“Merlin,” she breathed, “He hired _two_ Death Eaters?”

“He’s not stupid,” James said, shaking his head, “He wouldn’t have hired just anyone. He must have done some sort of background check, or something.”

“Yes, and Snape’s background clearly says Death Eater,” Lily said, “And he still hired him.”

James hesitated for a moment, before sighing, “Just, keep reading Lil,” he said, and Lily nodded, turning the page.

**“"Now, wait quietly, Potter. I need to examine this interesting mirror."**

**It was only then that Harry realized what was standing behind Quirrell. It was the Mirror of Erised.”**

“That’s a bit out of place,” Sirius said, frowning, “What’s that doing down there?”

“I don’t see how it could help,” Remus agreed, frowning, “All it shows are your hearts deepest desires.”

“All Harry’s going to see are us,” James said, “How’s that going to help?”

“Maybe it helps show intentions?” Lily asked, and Remus shrugged.

“That’s possible but it doesn’t relate.”

“Let’s just read?” Lily suggested, and the boys nodded, turning to her attentively,

**“"This mirror is the key to finding the Stone," Quirrell murmured, tapping his way around the frame. "Trust Dumbledore to come up with something like this...but he's in London... I'll be far away by the time he gets back...."”**

“I forgot that Dumbledore wasn’t around,” Lily murmured, and James let go of her hand, placing his arm around her shoulders instead.

“If Dumbledores set it wont it be something clever that wont ever work for Quirrell?” Remus asked, and Sirius frowned at him, his expression one of deep thought.

“That does sound very Dumbledore,” he agreed, looking at James, who shrugged.

“I’m more scared of Harry dying than Quirrell getting the stone,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“They’re the same thing,” she said, rolling her eyes, “If Quirrell gets the stone, Voldemort comes back and kills Harry,” she said, and James rubbed his hand comfortingly on her arm.

“It’ll work out,” he said, and Lily sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder.

**“All Harry could think of doing was to keep Quirrell talking and stop him from concentrating on the mirror.”**

“That’s a very good idea,” James said, nodding his head, and Lily smirked.

“That was a very intelligent remark,” she said, and he playfully moved his shoulder, her head bouncing, causing her to giggle.

“He’s comforting too!” Remus burst out, causing Sirius to jump, “Why do girls like me?” he asked, and Lily burst out laughing.

“Why are you so uncomfortable with the fact that girls like you?” she asked, and he shrugged, rubbing the hair on his forehead.

“Remus is shy,” James said, and Remus glared at him as Lily squealed and Sirius sniggered.

“Really?” she asked, and he huffed.

“Just because I don’t like to brag about my fan club doesn’t mean I’m shy,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“You’re totally shy,” she said, and Remus groaned, hiding his face, “It’s okay Remus! I think it’s cute.”

“Add another one to Remus’ fan club please,” Sirius said, and Remus groaned once again, causing them to laugh.

“If it makes you feel any better Remus,” Lily said, “The girls on Sirius’ and James’ fan clubs are much more extreme. Yours simply…smile dreamily at you,” she said, and Remus’ ears turned red.

“How are they more extreme?” James asked, and Lily smirked.

“Well I’d never drink anything they offered, if I were you,” she said, and both Sirius and James smirked.

“See mate? It could be worse,” Sirius said, and Remus grumbled.

“I hate girls,” he said, and Lily pouted as the other two laughed.

“They’re going to be so disappointed that you bat for the other team,” Lily sighed, and Remus spluttered as the other two roared with laughter, “Anyway, back to my baby’s predicament,” she said, before Remus could say anything, grinning wryly.

**“"I saw you and Snape in the forest —" he blurted out.**

**"Yes," said Quirrell idly, walking around the mirror to look at the back. "He was on to me by that time, trying to find out how far I'd got. He suspected me all along. Tried to frighten me — as though he could, when I had Lord Voldemort on my side. . . ."”**

Lily shuddered, and the boys turned to frown at her.

“We established this already,” James said gently, and she nodded, her eyes closed.

“Yes, but now he’s confirmed it and it scares me,” she said quietly, “And Snape could die,” she said, and the boys’ eyebrows shot up

“What?” James asked, and Lily sighed.

“He basically attempted to stop Voldemorts rise in front of Voldemort,” Lily said, and the boys grimaced.

“But he didn’t know it was Voldemort,” Sirius said, “He just thought it was Quirrell being selfish. Voldemort can’t punish him for that.”

“Sirius is right,” James said and Sirius puffed his chest out self-importantly, causing Lily to giggle and James to roll his eyes, “Besides, we should be worrying about Harry.”

“Right-o,” Lily said, sitting up, and the boys laughed.

“James is right, Lily,” Remus chuckled, “You’ve really got hormonal issues today.”

“Oh shut up,” Lily huffed, and the boys laughed once more.

**“Quirrell came back out from behind the mirror and stared hungrily into it.**

**"I see the Stone . . . I'm presenting it to my master . . . but where is it?"”**

“Maybe you have to break the mirror,” Sirius suggested, and Lily snorted.

“But that’s seven years of bad luck!” she said, and the boys looked at her, bewildered.

“What?” James asked after a few moments silence, by which time Lily was red.

“It’s a muggle superstition,” she said in a small voice, and the boys smirked simultaneously.

“Is it really?” Remus asked, “Muggles are so weird.”

“Oi, don’t speak ill of my people,” Lily said, and the boys laughed, “I am first and foremost a Muggle,” Lily said, and Sirius smirked.

“She’s an _honorary_ Muggle, remember?” he teased, and Lily laughed.

“Too right you are Outcast. But you’re not supposed to reveal my secret identity,” she said, wagging her finger at him, and he grinned at her.

“If you ever ditch her, Prongs, I call dibs,” Sirius said, raising his hand, and James snorted as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Sorry, but Benjy Fenwick already called dibs,” Lily said, and James narrowed his eyes at her.

“Benjy Fenwick?” he asked, his voice flat, and Lily nodded.

“He’s my backup,” she said, and both Sirius and Remus sniggered at James’ aghast expression.

“I beg your pardon?” James asked, and Lily sighed.

“We decided that if we were both forty and unmarried we’d get married. Simple,” she shrugged, and James rolled his eyes as his friends laughed.

“I can’t believe you made that deal,” he grumbled, and Lily laughed.

“I can’t believe you promised yourself to Fenwick instead of myself!” Sirius gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as Remus sniggered, “Let’s say if we’re both thirty and unmarried we’ll get together, deal?” Sirius asked, and James shot him a glare.

“You have no right to glare James. If we split up I’m no longer your property,” Lily said, and James smirked.

“You obviously don’t know me well enough, Evans,” he said, and Lily’s eyes narrowed as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“No need to go into this now,” Remus said, his voice choked with restrained laughter, “We already know James and Lily are getting married, lets just move on,” he said, and James grinned as Lily pouted.

“I can always change the future,” she grumbled, and James grinned.

“No you can’t,” he said simply, and Lily elbowed him.

“Watch me,” she said, and James grinned at her.

“Oh I-”

“Oi! Your child could die! Shut up,” Remus said, and the two turned back to the book immediately, causing Sirius to snigger and hi-five Remus underneath the table.

**“Harry struggled against the ropes binding him, but they didn't give. He had to keep Quirrell from giving his whole attention to the mirror.**

**"But Snape always seemed to hate me so much."”**

“He probably does,” James snorted, and Lily shrugged

“You never know James, he did try to save his life,” she reasoned, and James shrugged.

“He’s either chosen to think of Harry as Lily’s or James’,” Remus said, “So either like it or hate it.”

“And given the way Snape treated Harry in Potions I’m going to go with hate it,” Sirius said, and James grinned at Lily

“Oh yes, congratulations, someone hates Harry because he’s yours,” Lily said, and James stuck his tongue out at her as the others laughed.

 **"Oh, he does," said Quirrell casually, "heavens, yes. He was at Hogwarts with your father, didn't you know?** **They loathed each other.** **But he never wanted you dead."”**

James smirked at Lily who rolled her eyes in amusement as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Loathe is a really strong word,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

“That’s your defense?” Sirius asked, smirking, “I have to say I’m disappointed Evans, I thought you were far more creative than that.”

“I’ll have you know, _Black_ , that I am not always creative,” she said, and James smirked.

“We wouldn’t have ever guessed,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Loathe suggests that he would want him dead,” Lily said, and then beamed at James, who snorted.

“Trust you to always attempt to best me,” James mumbled, and Lily laughed.

“Someone’s got to keep the size of your head in check,” she shrugged, and James smirked as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“She does do a pretty spectacular job,” Remus said, and James rolled his eyes as the other three laughed.

**“"But I heard you a few days ago, sobbing — I thought Snape was threatening you."”**

“Does anyone else think it’s not smart of him to reveal the extent of his eavesdropping?” Lily asked, and the boys snorted in agreement.

“Honestly Prongs, this child of yours really needs to inherit some of Lily’s genius,” Sirius said, and James stuck his tongue out at him as the others laughed.

**“For the first time, a spasm of fear flitted across Quirrell's face.**

**"Sometimes," he said, "I find it hard to follow my master's instructions — he is a great wizard and I am weak —"”**

“Oh Merlin,” Lily whimpered, leaning onto James’ shoulder, and he automatically held her tighter.

“What is it?” James asked gently, and she shuddered, looking up to meet his gaze.

“That means Voldemort was there, in the classroom with him, doesn’t it?” she asked, and Sirius shook his head quickly as Remus paled.

“We’ve been over this, Death Eaters must have some special way of communicating with him,” he insisted, and she groaned.

“But that means he can talk to people in Hogwarts,” she said, “That Hogwarts isn’t safe, I mean if he can talk to them what makes you think he cant get in?”

“I think you’re having a nervous breakdown,” Sirius said simply, and Lily shot him an annoyed look as Remus and James smirked, “Try breathing Lily, it works.”

“Shut up, I helped you with your cold, you have to be nice to me,” she said, and Remus gasped.

“Oh Merlin!” he yelled, slapping his palm to his forehead, “Isn’t today be mean to Lily day?” he asked, and Lily’s face paled.

“I was hoping nobody would remember,” she grumbled, and both James and Sirius gasped.

“IT IS!” James said, laughing, “Oh no how could I have not remembered?”

“I think we should be nice to Lily,” Sirius said, and Lily smirked at his put out expression, “We can be cruel to Lily tomorrow.”

“How about we’re moderately cruel to Lily today and tomorrow?” James suggested, and Lily glared at him.

“Why do you hate me?” she asked, and Remus guffawed.

“It’s funny seeing Lily ask James this question after he asked us the same thing about her hating him multiple times,” he mused, and James flushed as Lily smirked and Sirius sniggered.

“It’s be mean to _Lily_ day, not be mean to _James_ day,” James huffed, and Lily grinned.

“As I’ve said before, every day is be mean to James day,” she winked, and he narrowed his eyes at her in a playful manner.

**“"You mean he was there in the classroom with you?" Harry gasped.**

**"He is with me wherever I go," said Quirrell quietly.”**

“What’s that supposed to mean?” James asked, frowning.

“So he was there?” Lily asked, and Sirius shrugged.

“I’m not going to pretend to understand this lunatic,” he said simply, and Lily burst out laughing.

“Think of it this way Lil,” Remus said, smiling slightly, “Even Harry thought he was physically present in the room. And since he’s the smartest of us all, you should be happy that you measured up to him,” Remus said sweetly, and Lily shot him a glare as Sirius and James snickered.

“Is it your personal goal to make be mean to Lily day a reality?” Lily asked, and Remus grinned, nodding his head.

“How else should I make up for the years of James driving us all crazy?” he asked, and Lily gasped.

“That’s not _my_ fault! Be mean to him!” she said, and James snorted as Sirius sniggered.

“It was so your fault,” James said, “You’re the one that _caused_ me to drive them crazy,” he said, and Lily glared at him.

“It’s your fault for deciding you liked me,” she said, and Sirius guffawed.

“I’m sure he’s very sorry for liking you, all of us are, if you’d prefer it, we could hate you instead,” Sirius suggested, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as James and Remus laughed.

“Besides,” Remus said, “It’s also because you helped those two buffoons hide my chocolate,” he said simply, and Lily’s jaw dropped

“That was _chapters_ ago,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Very accurate way of measuring time, Lil,” James teased, and Lily nudged him, causing him to chuckle.

“Nevertheless,” Remus said, smirking, “You still hid it.”

“You grudge holding bastard,” Lily said, and Remus’ smirk grew as Sirius and James laughed.

“You seem to constantly forget that Remus is, first and foremost, a Marauder,” James said, and Sirius clapped Remus on the back proudly.

“Screw Remus, I want to see what’s happening with Harry,” Lily grumbled, and Remus guffawed as the other two laughed.

“ **"I met him when I traveled around the world. A foolish young man I was then, full of ridiculous ideas about good and evil. Lord Voldemort showed me how wrong I was. There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it. . . .”**

“A foolish young man he _was_?” James snorted, and the others laughed.

“Obviously James, he didn’t know that the world revolves around power,” Lily said, shaking her head in mock disappointment, “How stupid could you get?”

“Honestly Prongs, I don’t think I can be friends with you for this,” Sirius sniffed, wiping away an imaginary tear, and James snorted.

“Don’t worry, Lord Voldemort will show you the way, you foolish young man,” Lily said, and James poked her side, causing her to squeal with laughter.

“Are you a person too weak to seek power?” Remus asked seriously, and James pouted.

“I believe so,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“I don’t think this is going to work then,” she said, removing James’ arm from around her, “It was fun while it lasted.”

“DIBS!” Sirius yelled, and James rolled his eyes amusedly as Lily and Remus burst out laughing.

“Why do I put up with you lot?” James asked, and Lily sighed

“That’s _my_ line,” she whined, and he smirked at her.

“Why do evil people have a tendency to give long monologues?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Ask Remus, he should know,” she said, glaring at the boy in question, who grinned back at her.

“It’s all about a good show, Sirius,” Remus said wisely, and Lily snorted as the boys sniggered.

“ **Since then, I have served him faithfully, although I have let him down many times. He has had to be very hard on me."**

“I can’t imagine him being a disappointment at all,” Sirius said sarcastically, and the others laughed.

“Quirrell? Letting someone down? _Never_ ,” James gasped.

“How could such a thing occur?” Remus added.

“Can you all please shut _up_ ,” Lily sighed, rubbing her temples with her fingers, causing them to laugh.

**“Quirrell shivered suddenly. "He does not forgive mistakes easily. When I failed to steal the Stone from Gringotts, he was most displeased. He punished me…decided he would have to keep a closer watch on me…"”**

“A closer watch…” Lily said quietly, looking down at the book, “A closer watch…”

“Is she repeating for dramatic effect?” Sirius said, turning to Remus, who smirked as Lily shot Sirius a sardonic look, to which he responded with a cheeky smile.

“I’m trying to figure out what he means by that,” Lily said, and James shrugged

“We’ll figure it out in due time,” he said simply, and Lily glared at him as he grinned down at her.

“Lily doesn’t want to wait,” Remus said, shaking his head,

“Lily’s super impatient,” Sirius added, nodding in agreement with his statement.

“Lily is going to castrate the Marauders,” Lily said, and the boys sniggered madly.

“OH MERLIN!” James suddenly yelled, and they frowned at him, “Quirrell broke into Gringotts! It makes perfect sense! He was even _in_ Diagon Alley that day!”

“And you know this because…?” Sirius asked, and James sighed.

“They met him at the Leaky remember?” he said slowly and Lily gasped

“Of course! He could have gone right after they did!”

“I’m disappointed that you didn’t figure this out Lily,” Remus said, shaking his head, and Lily rolled her eyes, her lips twitching, as James and Sirius snickered.

**“Quirrell's voice trailed away. Harry was remembering his trip to Diagon Alley — how could he have been so stupid?”**

“It’s inherent,” Lily said sadly, grinning cheekily at James as he spluttered.

“Excuse me, but I’m the one who just made that connection,” he said, “If anything he got this lack of connecting Quirrell to the day he went to Diagon Alley and Gringotts from you.”

“He’s got a point,” Remus smirked as Lily gaped, and Lily huffed, turning to him, causing the boys to laugh.

“Stop teasing me!” she said, and Remus smirked.

“No can do,” he said, taking another bite of toast.

“I love when Moony becomes annoying,” Sirius sighed, exchanging a grin with James.

“He’s much more entertaining,” James agreed.

**“He'd seen Quirrell there that very day, shaken hands with him in the Leaky Cauldron.”**

“Well, he was shaking under your hand,” Sirius said, and then wagged his eyebrows at Lily, who groaned and hid her face on the table.

“Must you make everything an innuendo?” she whined, and Sirius beamed proudly as Remus and James laughed

“Making you uncomfortable, am I Evans?” Sirius asked innocently, and Lily lifted her head to glare at him.

“I’d take that as a yes,” Remus snickered.

“Well I’d imagine she’s all too familiar with the feeling,” Sirius said, grinning wickedly, and Lily flushed darkly once more, hiding her face from view as the boys laughed.

“Stop it! My face is going to _explode_ ,” she squeaked, causing the boys to laugh harder.

“Because it’s true?” Sirius prodded, and Lily huffed.

“Leave me alone,” she whined.

“I think we’ve done enough, her neck is crimson,” James said, moving Lily’s hair aside to check the back of her neck, and Lily whacked him in the stomach, not hurting due to his muscles but making a loud sound, as Sirius and Remus snickered.

“Alright, Evans, that’s enough for right now,” Sirius said, stretching his arms over his head in a satisfied manner.

“Key words being ‘for right now’,” Remus said, and Lily glared at him.

“I don’t like you today,” she said, and Remus beamed at her as the other two laughed.

**“Quirrell cursed under his breath.”**

“At least he was careful to not corrupt Harry with nasty language,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a disbelieving look as James and Remus shook with laughter.

“What is _wrong_ with you?” she asked, her irritated tone laced with amusement, “This is the scariest part of the novel!”

“The scariest part?” James asked, and Lily huffed.

“Well I’d call it the climax again but then you idiots would start teasing,” she said, and both Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“Fast learner, you are,” Sirius said, and Lily crossed her arms as James grinned and ruffled her hair.

“Cheer up Evans, we’ve only got the book for a few more hours, might as well enjoy it,” he said, and Lily let out a resigned sigh, turning the page.

**“"I don't understand...is the Stone inside the mirror? Should I break it?"”**

“That’s what I said!” Sirius yelled, grinning, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Yes, congratulations, you’re on par with Quirrell,” she said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her as the other boys laughed

“Well he’s got to be somewhat intelligent, he is a teacher,” Remus said, and the others shot him disbelieving looks.

“Are you aware that you’re speaking?” James asked, and Remus’ ears reddened.

“Lily will agree with me!” Remus said, turning to Lily, who snorted.

“Not today,” she said, shaking her head, and Remus pouted as Sirius and James laughed.

“That’s the price you pay for irritating the great Lily Evans,” Sirius said wisely, and Lily shook her head amusedly as the boys snickered.

“I prefer Lily Evans the Great,” Lily said, and the boys laughed, “It sounds much better as an epithet.”

“What the bleeding hell is an epithet?” James asked, amused, and Lily sighed exasperatedly, causing the boys to laugh.

“ _That_ is an epithet James, it’s like, a title,” she said, “For example, Sirius the Stupid would be an epithet,” she said, and Sirius gasped as James and Remus laughed.

“Lily the Loser,” Sirius grumbled, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as Remus and James snickered

“They don’t have to alliterate,” she said, and Sirius shrugged.

“It’s more fun this way,” he said.

“Don’t mind him Lil, he’s on par with Quirrell remember?” James said, and Sirius shot him a faux-angry glare as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Quirrell!” Lily squeaked, “We have _got_ to stop getting off track like this.”

“Especially at the climax,” Sirius said, winking, “Nobody wants distractions at the climax,” he said wisely, and Lily shot him a nasty look as James and Remus sniggered.

**“Harry's mind was racing.”**

“I hope it’s winning,” Sirius said, and both James and Remus burst out laughing as Lily glowered at Sirius.

“It is,” Lily said, and Sirius nodded.

“Good, now we can continue reading, wouldn’t want Lily to not enjoy the climax,” he said, and Lily flushed, muttering obscenities under her breath as she turned the page, the boys howls of laughter sounding around her.

**“What I want more than anything else in the world at the moment, he thought, is to find the Stone before Quirrell does. So if I look in the mirror, I should see myself finding it — which means I'll see where it's hidden!”**

“Good idea! Look!” Lily squeaked.

“So that’s what the mirror is for?” Remus asked, and James shook his head

“But if that’s the purpose wouldn’t anyone who wanted to find the stone see where it was hidden?” James asked, and Lily frowned.

“James has a point,” she said, and James grinned at Sirius, who stuck his tongue out at him.

“Hear that, I have a point,” James said proudly, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Stop _preening_ James, this is serious,” she said, and Sirius grinned.

“Exactly, it’s me, and I don’t appreciate your preening,” he said, and Lily groaned as Remus and James chortled.

**“But how can I look without Quirrell realizing what I'm up to?”**

“Good question,” James mumbled, ruffling his hair.

“He could always move,” Sirius grumbled, and Lily shot him an exasperated look, “No, I’m serious,” he said, winking at her and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys burst out laughing, “Honestly though. Quirrell wont be able to see what he’s doing, he’ll simply see Harry standing there,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“Yes, but Quirrell isn’t an idiot, if Harry’s standing in front of the mirror that means he’s using it,” Remus said, and Sirius huffed.

“Why cant evil people be stupid?” he asked James, who snorted.

“Search me,” he sighed, his hand rising up to his hair once more.

“Why do you do that?” Lily asked, frowning at him, and he quirked a brow at her, “Play with your hair, I mean. It’s extremely girly of you,” she said, and James gaped at her as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“It’s a habit,” he said, and Remus smirked.

“It has nothing to do with looking like he’s just gotten off a broomstick,” Remus said in a faux innocent tone, and Lily giggled at James’ irritable expression.

“It’s _not_ ,” he protested, “I do this-”

“When you’re nervous, we know,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes

“Really?” Lily asked, eyebrows raised, “So it’s not the broomstick thing?”

“It is a little bit,” Sirius said, and James glowered at him as Lily smirked

“Thanks Padfoot,” James snapped, and Sirius blew him a kiss.

**“He tried to edge to the left, to get in front of the glass without Quirrell noticing, but the ropes around his ankles were too tight: he tripped and fell over. Quirrell ignored him.”**

“Smooth,” Lily snorted, and Remus smirked.

“Just like his father!” he said happily, and James glared at him as the three laughed.

“Lily’s not all that graceful either,” Sirius said, and James beamed at him, “remember all the times we’ve seen her trip, stumble or fall over?”

“It doesn’t happen that often!” Lily squeaked, and the boys snickered.

“No, it doesn’t, but it when it does it’s quite hilarious,” Remus said, and Lily huffed

“And you buffoons always laugh really loudly so everyone knows it happened,” she finished, and the boys grinned at each other.

“People need to know you’re human and have flaws Lil,” James said, and she snorted.

“Because that’s why you did it, to help humanity,” she said, and James winked at her as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“He was still talking to himself. "What does this mirror do? How does it work? Help me, Master!"”**

Lily gasped as the three boys adopted sickened expressions.

“He’s _there_?” Lily asked, her voice choked, and James shook his head slowly, his eyes wide.

“He can’t be,” he said in a raspy voice, still shaking his head, “He couldn’t have gotten into the castle. There are protective spells everywhere”

“Maybe it’s that special Death Eater communication thing?” Remus squeaked, and Sirius shook his head.

“He can’t just say it out loud to talk to him,” Sirius said, quietly, “There’d have to be some sort of maneuver of some sort.”

“He’s right,” Lily said. It was a mark of how worried they were, that Sirius didn’t puff his chest out proudly, “Voldemort wouldn’t simply answer someone if they called out for him.”

“So he has to be there,” Remus said, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“But _how_?” James near yelled in desperation, “How would he get in the school?”

“He’s Voldemort,” Sirius said bitterly, as if that were enough of an explanation.

“Dumbledore’s ten times as powerful as Voldemort, he couldn’t have gotten through the barriers and protective enchantments,” James said, removing his arm from around Lily and resting his elbows on the table, placing his fingers on his head.

“Not on his own,” Lily agreed, and James looked at her with a slightly tortured expression in his eyes, “If he had an insiders help it must have been much easier getting in,” she reasoned gently, rubbing her hand in soothing circles on his back.

“But he’s not even a person,” James said, “How’s he going to walk into Hogwarts? Isn’t he just a spirit or something?”

“We don’t know that,” Sirius said, shaking his head helplessly, “Remember the Dementor like thing Voldemort was? We have no idea what he is.”

“I don’t like this,” James grumbled, folding his arms and resting his forehead on them.

“ **And to Harry's horror, a voice answered, and the voice seemed to come from Quirrell himself.**

**"Use the boy…Use the boy…"”**

“Bloody hell,” James choked out, his eyes wide, “Where is he?”

“What does he mean by ‘the voice seemed to come from Quirrell’?” Lily asked, bewildered, “That sounds like Voldemort is _inside_ Quirrell,” she said, shuddering.

“He is a spirit, you never know,” Sirius reasoned, and Lily shuddered once more.

“What’s he going to do to my baby?” she whispered, and James put his hand comfortingly around her.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly, and Lily buried her head in his shoulder.

“Use the boy?” Remus said, frowning, “But how would he do that?”

“By making Harry look in the mirror?” Sirius suggested, and James sighed

“Yes, but Harry could simply lie, couldn’t he?” he challenged, “Quirrell would never see what Harry was seeing.”

“This is Voldemort though,” Remus said quietly, his eyes wide with worry, “I wouldn’t put it past Voldemort to know Legilimency.”

“I’m sure he does,” Lily agreed, “But is it possible for him to do it using Quirrell’s brain? He is a spirit, or whatever, isn’t he?” she asked, and James shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he said again.

“I can’t read this,” Lily said in a voice that shook, and the boys nodded sympathetically

“Here I’ll do it,” Remus said, and Lily smiled at him, handing him the book.

**“Quirrell rounded on Harry.** **"Yes — Potter — come here."”**

“No! Don’t!” Sirius squeaked, and James shook his head

“No he has to, otherwise he’ll be killed,” James said solemnly and Sirius groaned.

“Does nobody else think it’s ridiculous that an eleven year old is going through all this?” Lily asked hotly, “What kind of school is this?”

“It’s Hogwarts,” James shrugged, “Nothing’s normal here.”

**“He clapped his hands once, and the ropes binding Harry fell off.** **Harry got slowly to his feet.**

**“"Come here," Quirrell repeated. "Look in the mirror and tell me what you see."”**

“Oh please don’t,” Lily groaned, hiding her face in her hands, “Lie!”

“You know you should lie when the goody two shoes tells you to,” Sirius said wisely, and Lily shot him an exasperated look as Remus and James snickered

“I am not a goody two shoes,” she sniffed, crossing her arms, and the boys sniggered.

“Oh really?” James asked, and Lily glared at him.

“I’m dating you, aren’t I?” she teased, and he grinned at her

“Goody two shoes’ never date Marauders,” Sirius agreed.

“I think it goes against their moral code to allow rule breaking,” Lily said, and Remus snorted.

“Lily, _you_ don’t allow rule breaking,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Sirius and James laughed.

“Yes but it’s not against my moral code!” she insisted, “I simply frown upon it.”

“Because that’s so much better,” Sirius teased, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him as James and Remus chuckled.

**“Harry walked toward him.”**

“The writing style is starting to get very dramatic,” Remus mused, and Sirius and James exchanged an exasperated look while Lily eyed Remus amusedly

“You really are a literary nerd, aren’t you?” she said, and Remus shot her a mock glare.

“You can’t say you didn’t notice,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“I don’t pay attention to these things, I’m focusing more on the story,” she said, and James gasped.

“Lily! You _have to_ analyze literature!” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius sniggered and Remus flushed.

“It’s in the swot code,” Sirius agreed, and Lily shot him a glare, to which he simply responded to with a wink.

“You can’t be a swot anymore Lil,” Remus sniffed, crossing his arms, “We’re kicking you out of our society.”

“Remus!” Sirius gasped, “Now she’s going to have an identity crisis!”

“Oh no, who am I?” Lily deadpanned, and the boys smirked at her.

**“I must lie, he thought desperately. I must look and lie about what I see, that's all.”**

“Why is he thinking desperately?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed in exasperation, causing James to chuckle and squeeze her shoulders.

“Because he’s desperate for a way out of the situation,” Lily said, and Sirius shook is head

“Lying won’t solve your problems, young Harry,” he said, and Lily shook her head in amusement as James and Remus laughed.

“I think in this situation lying just might,” Remus said, and Lily glared at him

“Who’s dishonouring the swot code now?” she teased, and he pouted at her.

“At least without the swot title I can still be a Marauder,” he winked, and Lily shook her head in amusement, “I don’t lose my identity.”

“Lucky for you, this identity crisis is a pain,” she said, dramatically flipping her hair over her shoulder, causing the boys to laugh.

**“Quirrell moved close behind him. Harry breathed in the funny smell that seemed to come from Quirrell's turban. He closed his eyes, stepped in front of the mirror, and opened them again.”**

“Dun dun dun!” Sirius sung, and Remus snorted as Lily and James laughed, “This would be an excellent time to learn how to shoot spells from your eyes,” Sirius said, and the others laughed.

“You know what I don’t understand,” James said.

“You going to finish that thought?” Lily asked after a moments silence, and James flushed as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“You’ll have to get used to James doing that,” Sirius said, “He has a tendency to not finish stories and leave random statements hanging.”

“That’s so annoying!” Lily gasped, and glared at James, who simply shrugged at her, smiling, “Finish your thought _right now_ ,” she commanded, and James smirked as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“I don’t understand why Quirrell’s turban smells funny,” he said, and Lily nodded.

“ _Thank_ you,” she said stiffly, and he chuckled

“You’re _wel_ come,” he said cheekily, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him playfully as Remus and Sirius snickered.

“The Weasley twins already established that it was stuffed with garlic,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted.

“Because the Weasley twins know all, right?” she said, and Sirius pinked slightly as James and Remus laughed.

“Are you suggesting that our lot don’t know everything?” Remus gasped, and Sirius gaped at her.

“She _is!_ ” he gasped, pointing at Lily, “For shame, wench! We reach our hands out to you in friendship and this is how you repay us?”

“My sincerest apologies,” Lily said, and Sirius nodded in satisfaction

“Look, this ridiculous conversation aside,” James started, but was cut off by Lily snorting.

“Because your conversations are never ridiculous,” she said, and he winked at her before continuing, causing Sirius and Remus to chortle.

“If the turban was full of garlic, wouldn’t Harry have just said it smelled like garlic?” he asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Not necessarily,” she said, and James huffed.

“You don’t think the ‘funny smell’ is suspicious?” he asked, and Lily frowned.

“I think the turban itself is suspicious,” she said, and James nodded once.

“Okay good, it’s not just me going crazy,” he said, and Lily grinned at him.

“You’re already mad,” she said, and he rolled his eyes at her cheeky expression, the corner of his mouth rising.

**“He saw his reflection, pale and scared-looking at first. But a moment later, the reflection smiled at him. It put its hand into its pocket and pulled out a blood-red stone. It winked and put the Stone back in its pocket — and as it did so, Harry felt something heavy drop into his real pocket. Somehow — incredibly — he'd gotten the Stone.”**

“Am I the only one here who’s confused?” James asked after the four of them stared at he book for a while, speechless.

“He, he has the stone?” Lily said, frowning, cocking her head to the side.

“That’s what it says here,” Remus said, rereading the paragraph.

“WHO CARES?” Sirius suddenly yelled, causing the other three to look at him, “He got the stone!” he laughed, grinning broadly. He let out a loud laugh before standing up, pulling Lily onto the table with him, causing her to squeal, and waltzing with her.

“What are you doing?” Lily laughed, as he spun her around once more.

“Dancing, of course,” he said simply.

“Mind telling me where you learned how to waltz?” she laughed, and Sirius beamed at her as James and Remus snorted, watching them in amusement.

“Mind telling me why you had to grab Lily and waltz on the table?” James asked, matching her tone, and Lily laughed as Sirius stuck his tongue out at James.

“James’ mother made us take lessons,” Sirius said to Lily, and James scowled, “James was usually the girl.”

“I WAS NOT!” James yelled as Lily and Remus snickered.

“Of course you were Prongsie,” he said, and James rolled his eyes

“Only because you needed more practice,” he grumbled, and Sirius gasped as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Well it paid off,” Lily giggled, pulling herself out of Sirius’ arms.

“Thank you my love,” Sirius said, bowing extravagantly, and Lily shook her head in amusement, hopping back down onto the bench, sitting next to James, “And to answer the question Prongs, I couldn’t have bloody grabbed _you_.”

“But you two have had so much practice together,” Lily gasped, and Remus sniggered as the two boys looked at her sardonically.

“It would have been spectacular,” Remus agreed, and Lily smirked as the two turned to glare at Remus instead, “Harry has the stone!” he squeaked under their harsh glares, and Lily laughed.

“I wish my mirror was that nice to me,” Sirius grumbled, and Lily quirked a brow at him, “My reflection never winks at me.”

“Okay,” James said slowly, turning away from Sirius with raised eyebrows, causing Lily and Remus to laugh, “How did Harry get it?”

“Do you think Quirrell knows?” Lily squeaked suddenly, and the boys paled slightly

“He couldn’t though could he?” James asked, ruffling his hair, “Ron couldn’t see us.”

“I hope he doesn’t know,” Lily sighed, and Remus smiled at her sympathetically.

“If it helps, Lil, we can always just go bother Nicholas Flamel in the summer,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other boys burst out laughing, “Tell him his stone is stupid.”

“It’s not like he isn’t alive,” Sirius added.

“Or we could just not let everything happen this way,” Lily snorted, and James smirked at her as Sirius and Remus flushed, “No need to murder Flamel in the process,” she laughed, and the boys shrugged.

“We’ll murder Voldemort then,” James said.

“Sounds like a plan,” Lily deadpanned, and the boys snickered.

**“"Well?" said Quirrell impatiently. "What do you see?"**

**Harry screwed up his courage.”**

“I never understood that phrase,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled as Remus slammed the book down on the table, turning to give Sirius a dirty look.

“I understand,” Lily said sympathetically, reaching over and placing her hand on Remus’ causing Sirius to snort and James to laugh.

“Which phrase?” James asked, and Lily scoffed, turning to look at him.

“You can’t seriously be asking that question!” she squeaked, and James shrugged.

“I’m curious now,” he said, and turned back to Sirius, “You were saying?”

“This is why you’re my best mate,” Sirius said, throwing Remus a glare, and Remus shrugged.

“I have Lily,” he said, and she laughed as James and Sirius pouted.

“But she’s mine!” James said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him as he grinned cheekily at her, causing Remus and Sirius to laugh.

“I’m not a _possession_ James,” she hissed, and he grinned, kissing her temple quickly

“Oh I know, it’s just so much fun to see you turn red like that,” he said, tapping her cheek, and Lily hid her face as her blush deepened.

“I hate being a redhead,” she whined, and the boys sniggered.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Sirius said, “To answer your questions Prongs, I don’t understand the phrase ‘screwed up his courage’,” he said, and Remus frowned at him.

“What’s there to not understand?” he asked, and Lily snorted from where her forehead was resting on the table, causing James and Sirius to laugh.

“Well why would you screw up your courage?” Sirius asked, “It sounds like he’s either ruined it, or screwed it up and put it in a jar or something,” he said, and Remus looked at him with a blank expression as James chuckled.

“He has a point, it makes no sense,” James said.

“Maybe it’s a muggle thing?” Remus suggested, looking over at Lily’s still ducked head.

“It’s possible,” she said, lifting her head slowly, rubbing at the spot where her forehead had been resting on the table, “If you use a screwdriver on a screw you tighten it so that could mean he solidified it,” she said.

“I have no idea what you just said, but I told you so,” Remus said to the boys, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and James laughed

“Let’s just see if Quirrell murders Harry,” Lily grumbled.

**“"I see myself shaking hands with Dumbledore," he invented. "I — I've won the House Cup for Gryffindor."**

**Quirrell cursed again.”**

“He couldn’t have believed that,” Lily gasped, shaking her head in disbelief, “That had to be the most pathetic lie I’ve ever heard.”

“What would you know about lying Evans?” Sirius asked, and she rolled her eyes in amusement as James and Remus chuckled.

“A lot more than you’d think, Black. You don’t honestly believe I do all the homework we’re assigned, do you?” she asked, and quirking a brow at him, and Sirius gaped at her.

“You _don’t_?” he gasped, and Lily shook her head, grinning as James and Remus adopted bewildered expressions as well.

“Come now, Sirius, you don’t honestly believe I have time for all that,” she said, shaking her head, and he let out a strangled noise, “What, with rounds, friends, boyfriends, I’m a busy girl,” she shrugged.

“Fuck, Evans,” Sirius gasped, shaking his head, a small smile on his face, “How do you get out of it?”

“By lying, of course,” she shrugged, a wicked grin spreading across her face. She turned to look at James, who smirked down at her, “What?”

“If you hadn’t included the boyfriends part, I would have believed you,” he said, kissing her on top of her head, and both Sirius and Remus gasped as Lily grinned widely

“I was hoping someone would figure it out,” she said in a teasing tone, tapping James on the nose, “But why the boyfriends part?”

“Because he’s had tabs on you since First Year, obviously,” Remus sniggered, and Lily smirked at James as he glared at Remus.

“YOU WERE LYING?” Sirius roared, and Lily beamed at him as James chuckled and Remus gaped at her, “That whole thing?”

“Of course,” she snorted, “You don’t actually think I don’t do my work, do you?” she asked, and Sirius let out a strangled moan, burying his head in his hands as James sniggered.

“I’m scared of you now,” Remus said, frowning at her, “The things you could say to get us all in trouble, it’ll haunt me,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“I could get you all arrested if I wanted to,” she said, and the boys snorted.

“You’d have no proof,” Sirius said, and Lily winked at him.

“There are always ways to forge proof, Sirius,” she said nonchalantly, and he shook his head in amusement as the other two laughed.

“Remind me not to get on her bad side,” Remus said, and Lily laughed.

“Let’s just hope Harry can lie as convincingly as Lily can,” Sirius grumbled, sticking his tongue out at her, receiving a cheeky wink in return.

**“"Get out of the way," he said. As Harry moved aside, he felt the Sorcerer's Stone against his leg. Dare he make a break for it?”**

“Don’t do it, you wont get very far,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“Maybe he did inherit his mothers lying abilities,” James said, amused, and Lily smirked.

“My abilities _are_ unparalleled,” she agreed, and he turned to her.

“Who’s the conceited twit now?” he teased, and she flushed, sticking her tongue out at him, as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“I was stating fact,” she said, “You talking about how handsome you are and how everyone worships the very ground you walk on is not,” she sniffed, and James smirked at her as his friends sniggered.

“It is fact, actually,” he said, and Lily shoved him playfully as he grinned down at her.

“Be thankful it’s not a slap, thank Merlin we’ve progressed from that,” Sirius said, “I don’t know how much he whined because of them,” he said, rolling his eyes, and Lily shot him a sardonic look as Remus laughed and James rubbed his cheek.

“Those bloody hurt,” he grumbled, and Lily rolled her eyes

“You deserved them,” she said simply, and he pouted at her as his friends laughed, “Stop whining.”

“I’m not _whining_ , I’m simply pointing out fact,” he said, grinning at her, and she nudged him playfully.

“They were _meant_ to bloody hurt,” she said, and he sighed.

“See the abuse I have to put up with?” he asked Remus, who only smirked at him.

“Yes, I have no doubt that being with Lily is torturous,” he said, and winked at Lily, who gaped at him.

“ _Stop_ being so _mean_ to me!” she squeaked as the three boys laughed.

“It’s a chore,” James agreed solemnly, ignoring Lily’s outburst, and Lily glared at him.

“In that case, I relieve you from your duties,” she said, shifting away from him, only to have him put his arm around her waist and pull her back, “Stop being so bloody strong,” she said as he pulled her so she was tucked under his arm, and he grinned at her as Remus and Sirius laughed

“It’s not my fault you weigh as if you’ve eaten nothing,” he said, and she grinned.

“Is that supposed to insult me? Because it sounds like a _smashing_ compliment,” she said, winking at Remus, who gaped at her.

“I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!” Sirius laughed. He turned to Remus and beamed at him as Remus glared daggers at Lily, who hid behind the laughing James’ arm.

“Oh, yes, hide behind your boyfriend,” Remus grumbled, and James beamed at him.

“It’s the muscles,” he said simply, and Remus snorted at him.

“ _Smashing_ aren’t they?” Lily asked, and Remus glared at her as Sirius and James shook with laughter.

“How do you always manage to turn things away from you and have us teased?” Remus asked, and Lily smirked.

“ _Smashing_ talent, is it not?” she asked, and Remus sighed in exasperation, the corners of his mouth twitching, giving away his amusement, as Sirius and James laughed.

**“But he hadn't walked five paces before a high voice spoke, though Quirrell wasn't moving his lips.**

**"He lies . . . He lies . . ."”**

“Oh Merlin,” Lily whimpered, wrapping her arms around James’ and hiding her face in his shoulder, “How did he know?” she asked, and James shook his head, threading his fingers through hers as he eyed the book with a wary expression.

“I know you’re worried and all, but could you please stop feeling up Prongs’ arm in front of us?” Sirius asked, and Lily spluttered as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“Jealous?” she asked, and Sirius rolled his eyes as she grinned cheekily at him.

“Oh yes, I’m secretly in love with Prongs, didn’t you know?” Sirius asked, earning a snort from James, and Lily pouted.

“And here I thought you loved _me_ ,” she sighed, and Sirius gasped as James and Remus laughed.

“I DO!” he insisted dramatically, placing a hand on his heart.

“So you’re bisexual?” she asked, and Sirius’ jaw dropped as James and Remus sniggered.

“I am _not_!” he spluttered, and Lily smiled sweetly

“It’s okay Sirius, there’s nothing wrong with liking men. I do,” she said, and Sirius glared at her as Remus and James continued to snigger.

“Why do I even bother?” Sirius asked James, who shook his head in amusement.

“Why aren’t you three more concerned with what’s happening in the story?” Remus asked, exasperated.

“Avoiding the stress,” Lily said, “God forbid my face breaks out,” she said, and Remus’ lip twitched as James and Sirius snorted.

“Because that would be such a tragedy,” Remus said, and Lily nodded.

“It would,” she said simply, grinning at him, “I’d have to wear makeup, and that’s just bloody irritating,” she finished, and the boys burst out laughing.

“You’re telling me you don’t wear makeup on a daily basis?” Sirius asked, and Lily sighed.

“Not _cover up_ ,” she said, scrunching her nose in disgust, “I just do my eyes- mascara and eyeliner. Simple,” she shrugged.

“No blush?” Sirius teased, and Lily snorted.

“I handle that naturally, thanks,” she said, and the boys laughed, “I’m surprised you know so much about makeup, Sirius. Do you cross dress to feel better about fancying men?”

“Fuck you Evans,” Sirius snorted as James and Remus laughed, “I’ve just been with a lot of birds who enjoy their make up.”

“Yeah, and look like bloody raccoons,” Lily added, and the boys sniggered.

“How do you look with makeup on?” Remus asked.

“Better,” she said simply, and the boys burst out laughing.

“You have got to be the _oddest_ girl I’ve _ever_ had the pleasure of meeting,” James said, grinning affectionately at her, and Lily, blushing, took a mock bow as the boys chuckled.

**“"Potter, come back here!" Quirrell shouted. "Tell me the truth! What did you just see?"**

**The high voice spoke again.**

**"Let me speak to him . . . face-to-face . . . ."”**

“He’s there,” Lily said in a dead voice, her eyes wide, “Oh Merlin, it wasn’t just some communication, he’s _there_!” she added, squeezing James’ arm tightly.

“Face to face?” James said quietly, seemingly frozen in fear, “W-What’s going to happen?” he asked Remus in a shaky voice, and Remus only shook his head.

“Does he even have a face?” Sirius asked, and there was a moments pause before everyone burst out laughing.

“Do you have to- have to ruin all the serious moments?” Lily wheezed, and Sirius winked at her as James and Remus grinned.

“Someone’s got to make sure you don’t break out,” he said seriously, and Lily smirked as James and Remus snickered.

“Always looking out for me, you are,” she said, and he nodded.

“Which is why you should’ve chosen me over Benjy Fenwick,” he said, and Lily flushed as James gave her a hard look.

“Thanks ever so much for bringing that up again,” she deadpanned, narrowing her eyes at Sirius, who grinned

“It’s be mean to Lily day, is it not?” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled.

“Voldemort is going to address Harry face to face,” Lily said quietly, shaking her head in horror, “I pray he doesn’t have a wand.”

“How can he have a wand?” Sirius asked, and Lily huffed

“How can he have a face?” she countered, and Sirius bit his lip, turning to Remus, who took that as his cue to read.

**“"Master, you are not strong enough!"**

**"I have strength enough . . . for this. . . ."”**

“What’s _this_?” Lily asked, her short nails digging into James’ arm, causing him to wince but otherwise ignore it, “Is _this_ the murdering of my eleven year old?” she asked Remus, who quirked a brow at her.

“How should I know?” he asked gently, and Sirius snorted.

“You’re the closest thing to a know-it-all after Lily,” he reasoned, and Lily smirked as Remus shot Sirius an exasperated look.

“I don’t think Voldemort will be able to kill Harry,” James mused, “I mean, he couldn’t before could he?”

“But we don’t know why that is,” Lily said, “It could have, I don’t know, worn off?”

“It could have _not_ worn off,” James countered, and Lily sighed.

“But this goes back to the ‘does Voldemort have a face’ thing,” Sirius said, crossing his arms thoughtfully, “If he doesn’t have a face, can he have arms to wave a wand?” he asked, and Remus shrugged.

“That’s true,” Remus said slowly, “But if he _does_ have a face, then he may have arms,” he said, and Sirius scoffed.

“How would he have a face?” Sirius asked

“How could he _not_? He’s _speaking_ isn’t he?” Remus retorted.

“Alright, children, deep breaths,” James said, his tone amused, “Let’s keep reading?” The two ‘children’ scoffed at each other and returned to their respective activities- Remus reading and Sirius picking at the wood on the table.

**“Harry felt as if Devil's Snare was rooting him to the spot. He couldn't move a muscle. Petrified, he watched as Quirrell reached up and began to unwrap his turban.** **”**

“His…turban?” Sirius asked, confusedly looking at Remus, who was frowning down at the book. Lily was sitting there, half frozen, gripping tightly onto James’ arm.

“Are my eyes failing me?” Remus asked, passing the book to James, causing Sirius to scoff.

“Why not just pass it to me?” he asked, and Lily giggled at his affronted expression.

“He’s got glasses,” Remus said in an overly patient tone, and Sirius scoffed.

“All the more reason to give it to me! He’s got old man eyes,” Sirius said, and James stuck his tongue out at Sirius as he looked down at the book.

“Your eyes are not failing you Moony, it really does so turban,” James said, before shuddering, “But why turban?”

“Maybe Voldemorts spirit is hangin’ out in the turban?” Sirius said, wagging his eyebrows, “Partying it up.”

“You are so annoying,” Lily giggled, and Sirius grinned at her.

“Got you to smile again, didn’t I?” he asked, and Lily gave him a genuine smile as the other two grinned.

“I wasn’t aware you had a sensitive side, Padfoot,” James teased, and Sirius stuck his middle finger up at him, causing the other two to laugh.

**“What was going on?”**

“That is a very good question,” James mumbled.

“Maybe his head was just sweaty and he’s waiting for Voldemort to show up,” Sirius suggested, and Lily burst out laughing, causing the three boys to grin.

“Or Voldemorts spirit is partying it up,” Lily said quietly, and Sirius smirked.

“Or that,” he agreed, and Lily grinned at him.

**“The turban fell away. Quirrell's head looked strangely small without it. Then he turned slowly on the spot.”**

“I’m completely lost,” James grumbled, rubbing his forehead vigorously, causing it to redden.

“I am too,” Lily said quietly, and James looked down at her, turning on the bench and bringing his hand up to her face. Sirius and Remus had the decency to engage each other in conversation.

“Hey,” James said quietly, looking her right in the eye, “Don’t worry so much,” he said with a small smile.

“But what if he dies?” she asked in a forced whisper, her green eyes brimming.

“This way we can find out what to do to stop it,” he said, and Lily nodded, looking down at her hands on James’ arm.

“I’m sorry I’m puncturing your arm,” she said, lifting her fingers to reveal half-moon shapes along his arm where her nails had been digging into him. James chuckled and kissed her on the forehead.

“I’ll live,” he said, and Lily sighed, leaning her forehead on his chest.

“I’m not built to handle this kind of stress,” she said, her voice muffled, and James grinned, lifting his hand to rest on her back, rubbing in soothing circles, “Keep reading Remus!” she said, and Remus smirked.

“Can you hear?” he teased, and Lily nodded, causing James to scrunch his nose.

“Try not to move love, or I’ll end up sneezing in your hair,” he said, and Lily giggled, pushing herself off James’ chest, grinning up at him.

“God forbid,” she said, and James grinned, putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his side.

“I make you laugh, but he gets to hug you,” Sirius sniffled, and Lily giggled as James rolled his eyes in amusement.

**“Harry would have screamed, but he couldn't make a sound.”**

“Stop bloody filling up the pages with useless information and tell us what’s happening,” Lily said irritably.

“But Lily! Literature is never useless!” Sirius gasped, and Lily shot him a sarcastic look as he grinned at her.

**“Where there should have been a back to Quirrell's head, there was a face, the most terrible face Harry had ever seen. It was chalk white with glaring red eyes and slits for nostrils, like a snake.”**

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Lily said, a nauseated expression on her face, as she looked at the book.

“He’s growing out of the back of Quirrell’s head?” James squeaked, his voice jumping multiple octaves on the last word.

“How?” Remus asked, looking at Lily, who shook her head, bewildered.

“I’ve never heard of this kind of magic before,” she mumbled through numb lips, and James squeezed her shoulders tighter.

“Slits for nostrils? What happened to his nose?” Remus asked, and James shrugged

“Maybe an Auror got him,” he said, and Sirius shook his head.

“I think he’s done so much dark magic that he’s not even human anymore,” he said darkly, and Lily shuddered.

“What’s Harry going to do?” Lily whispered to James, who shook his head, rubbing her arm.

“I guess we know what the chapters title means now,” James managed to choke out.

“Don’t you just hate it when Voldemort hides in your turban?” Lily sighed, and the boys looked at her before bursting into howls of laughter.

“Voldemort can’t do anything, can he?” Remus asked, “I mean, he doesn’t have his own arms.”

“But he has Quirrell, who’ll do anything Voldemort asks,” Lily said, holding James’ hand on her shoulder in fright.

**“"Harry Potter . . ." it whispered.”**

Lily shuddered violently and James brought his other arm around his front to grip her right forearm comfortingly.

“D-Do you think he’s going to try to punish him for bringing about his downfall?” Lily asked quietly. The boys didn’t respond.

“I think the silence speaks for itself, Lil,” James said in a quiet, solemn voice, and Lily blinked quickly to make sure her tears didn’t spill.

**“Harry tried to take a step backward but his legs wouldn't move.”**

“Not the time to freeze up!” Sirius groaned, hiding his face.

“You’d have frozen too,” Lily said harshly, and Sirius raised his eyes to give her a sympathetic look, understanding that the harshness of her tone was because of worry.

“I would have,” he agreed, and Lily nodded sternly, letting go off James’ hand on her shoulder to bring hers to wipe her eyes furiously.

“What do you think Quirrell and Voldemort are going to do to him?” she asked James, who shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly, and Lily nodded, knowing he hadn’t said what he really thought.

“You think they’re going to try to kill him,” she said simply, and James hesitated, measuring her reaction, before nodding slowly. Tears began to leak out of her eyes once more and she brought her hand up, wiping them away quickly.

“Lil-”

“I’m _fine_. Read,” she said shortly, cutting James off and turning to Remus, who looked at James. James nodded and Remus sighed, continuing.

**“"See what I have become?" the face said. "Mere shadow and vapor…I have form only when I can share another's body…but there have always been those willing to let me into their hearts and minds… Unicorn blood has strengthened me, these past weeks…you saw faithful Quirrell drinking it for me in the forest** **…and once I have the Elixir of Life, I will be able to create a body of my own…Now…why don't you give me that Stone in your pocket?"”**

“He knows,” James groaned, his head drooping so his chin was resting on his chest.

“H-How?” Lily managed, and Remus sighed.

“You said so yourself Lil, he’s probably good at Legilimency,” he said, and Lily’s eyes began to water once more, this time falling out quickly

“What are they going to do when he denies them the stone?” she asked, her voice sounding choked due to the massive lump of sadness in her throat, “He’s not stupid, he wont give it to them. They’re going to kill him.”

“You don’t know that,” James said gently, “You _don’t_ ,” he insisted as she gave him an irritated look, “They’re still in Hogwarts, Dumbledore’s ought to do something.”

“Dumbledore is in London,” Lily snapped, and James bit his lip.

“This is too stressful,” said Sirius, “I’m too young to deal with this.”

“We’ve only got two years till we face it,” Lily said quietly, and the boys looked at each other in alarm, “Less, actually, since this year is half over.” James tightened his hold on Lily, who rubbed his hand, resting on her right arm, comfortingly with her left, “Quirrell will do anything for Voldemort, wont he?” Lily said, her eyes wide with fear once more.

“Yes,” Sirius said bluntly, and James shot him a disapproving look as Lily sniffed.

“Why is Voldemort greeting him like an old friend?” she asked, suddenly outraged, “What right does he have to do that?”

“He’s a cunning bastard,” Sirius said simply, and Lily sighed, bringing her hand up to her face to rub her tears away once more, “I suggest you get your tear ducts removed, it’s a much easier lifestyle,” he said, and Lily let out a snort of laughter.

“Alice claimed to have done so in Fifth Year after the, well, you know,” she said, and the boys nodded.

“She obviously wasn’t successful,” Sirius said, breaking the awkward silence, and Lily smirked at him as James and Remus shot him warning looks due to his lack of tact.

**“So he knew. The feeling suddenly surged back into Harry's legs.** **He stumbled backward.”**

“Voldemort isn’t going to like that,” Remus mumbled, and the others shook their heads sadly.

“Remind me to buy your child tons of presents,” Sirius said to James, who snorted.

“Remind me to never yell at him,” James said, and Lily shoved him.

“You can’t never yell at a child,” she said, and James smirked at her as the other two chuckled, “You have to discipline it somehow.”

“It, Lily?” James asked, and Lily glared at him as he smirked at her.

“Don’t smirk at me James Potter, I am so not in the mood,” she said, crossing her arms, and James smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple.

**“"Don't be a fool," snarled the face. "Better save your own life and join me…or you'll meet the same end as your parents…They died begging me for mercy…"”**

“Bullshit,” Lily hissed, her hair almost crackling with her fury, as Remus and Sirius adopted angered expressions.

“Harry won’t believe that,” James said certainly, shaking his head, his eyes alight with fury, “How _dare_ he even suggest a thing like that? There is no _fucking_ way I would _ever_ beg for his _fucking_ mercy,” James growled, his hands curling into fists.

“We know, James, Voldemorts just being a prick,” Lily said, glaring at the book.

“What else is new?” Sirius growled.

“Harry _won’t_ believe that, right?” Lily asked Remus worriedly, and he shook his head.

“He’s not an idiot Lily,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck in anxiety, his tone completely certain.

“Jackass,” James huffed, releasing Lily and clenching his fists atop the table, the muscles in his arms rippling in the restraint it was taking him to not hit something, “Harry will _never_ join him. He’d pick _death_ ,” James growled, and Lily whimpered.

“J-James,” she choked.

“ _No_ Lily,” he said, turning to face her, his eyes bright with anger, “There are worse things than death. And joining Voldemort is one of them,” he said. Lily looked into his angered eyes for a moment, slightly afraid to be next to James and his muscles in the midst of his fury, before she nodded slightly. Remus and Sirius exchanged a wary look- Voldemort was a very sensitive topic around everyone, but especially James, who constantly worried about his parents.

**“"LIAR!" Harry shouted suddenly.”**

Lily smiled in satisfaction as Remus and Sirius let out little ‘whoop’ noises.

“That kid has some serious guts,” Sirius said, nodding his head, a proud smile on his face, “To yell like that at Voldemort.”

“He could face serious consequences too,” Lily said quietly, and James snorted.

“Sometimes the consequences are worth it,” he growled, and Lily whacked his shoulder, causing him to turn to her with a murderous expression, “Lily-”

“Don’t you ‘Lily’ me,” she said, her face red with anger, “Don’t just sit there and say you’d rather Harry died than fucking _behave_ and try to _live_ ,” she hissed, her small hands curling into fists, “Don’t you bloody _dare_ James Potter.”

“WOULD YOU RATHER-”

“James,” Sirius said harshly as James exploded, causing Lily to shrink back in her seat, “Lily, switch places with me. Now,” he added in response to Lily’s slightly panicked expression. She didn’t budge, so Sirius stood up, walking across the table and picking Lily up, placing her next to Remus, before throwing himself down next to James, who scowled at him, “What?” Sirius snapped, and James huffed, turning away from him, “Would you rather have _her_ sit here while you fucking explode?”

“Sirius,” Remus sighed, rubbing his face with his hand, “Just leave it.”

“No, Remus it’s not-” Sirius started hotly, but was cut off by Lily leaning across the table, placing her hand delicately on top of his.

“Thank you,” she said gently, and he turned his angry gaze on her, “It was really thoughtful of you,” she added.

“I’m sorry,” James said quietly, and Lily looked over at him to see the depths of remorse in his furious eyes.

“It’s okay,” she said, giving him a small smile.

“No really,” James said, a hint of panic entering his voice, “I didn’t mean to yell at you, it’s just-”

“Shut up,” she said, and James gave her a small embarrassed smile, “Let’s just see what Voldemorts doing yeah?” she said, and James nodded, looking down at the table in shame.

“When did you become so calm?” Remus teased, and Lily smirked at him.

“It’s nice to have other hot heads around, keeps me in check,” she said, and James gave her another apologetic smile as Remus chuckled. Sirius still looked slightly irritated at his best friends’ behaviour.

**“Quirrell was walking backward at him, so that Voldemort could still see him. The evil face was now smiling.”**

“How can you make walking backwards look intimidating?” Lily scoffed, and Remus smirked at her

“I’m sure it’s far more intimidating with Voldemort smiling at you from the back of the body’s head,” he said, and Lily flushed slightly as he chuckled at her. The other two were still furious; James at the book and Sirius at James.

“I wonder what he’s smiling about,” Lily said quietly, and James’ arm twitched, as if he wanted to put it around her to comfort her. Only Sirius, who crossed his arms in irritation, noticed this.

“He hit a nerve with the parents thing and he knows it,” Remus shrugged, “I won’t be surprised if he pushes it.”

“And then Harry will yell and get himself in trouble,” Lily sighed, nodding in agreement, “Sounds about right,” she sighed, and Remus grimaced at her, “May I lean on your shoulder Remus?” she asked, and Remus smirked at her as Sirius let out a snort of laughter. James looked up with sad eyes, but Lily didn’t notice.

“Yes, you may,” Remus said, and Lily giggled, resting her head on his shoulder, “Just make sure you don’t get your dandruff on my clothes,” he said, and Lily shrieked in indignation, punching Remus’ shoulder as he sniggered.

“I don’t have _dandruff_!” she said, bringing her hands up to her hair.

“You did that one time,” Remus said, and Lily glared at him.

“ _Once! Last year!_ ” she whined, and he grinned at her.

“You still got it on my shoulder,” he said, and Lily huffed, crossing her arms.

“How did you get it on his shoulder?” Sirius asked, and Remus smirked as Lily groaned, hiding her face in her hair.

“Lily may or may not have been having boyfriend troubles,” Remus mused, and Lily glared at him as Sirius smirked. Even James cracked a small smile.

“I don’t need your sodding shoulder,” she grumbled, and Remus grinned at her as Sirius and James let out quiet chuckles.

**“"How touching…" it hissed. "I always value bravery… Yes, boy, your parents were brave.”**

“Damn straight,” Lily said, and Remus snorted, giving her an amused look.

“You replacing Sirius?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He’s talking about _me_ ,” she said, “I’m allowed to make interjections.”

“The word ‘comments’ too amateurish for you?” Remus teased, and Lily shoved at him, causing him to snicker, “I appreciate Harry calling Voldemort an it, though,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“So much pride,” she said, nodding her head, and the three boys laughed, Remus loudly while the other two shook with quiet chuckles.

**“…I killed your father first, and he put up a courageous fight”**

The four of them froze, turning to look at James, who looked pale. Sirius bit his lip before putting his arm around James in a brotherly manner. James lowered his face into his hands, no doubt hiding tears.

“At least you fought,” Remus shrugged, and Lily rolled her eyes as James raised his face from his hands, his eyes wet with tears, to give Remus a disbelieving look.

“What is wrong with you?” Lily asked, and Remus pinked slightly, giving her a mildly cheeky smile, “You _suck_ at comforting people.”

“You would know,” Remus said, and Lily nodded.

“Nobody tells the girl crying on their shoulder that she’s getting dandruff on his robes,” she huffed, and Remus flushed as Sirius guffawed.

“Pathetic Moony,” Sirius said, his voice sounding slightly choked from the mentioning of James’ death. Lily crossed her arms faux-irritably. James looked over at her to see her eyes brimming with tears, and gave Remus a pointed look, causing him to put his hand comfortingly on Lily’s back, causing her to shake with a sob.

“Bloody book,” she groaned, wiping her face, and Remus snorted.

“Please be careful where you put your hands, I don’t want salt water on my clothes,” he said, and a grin flashed across Lily’s face.

“Private school snob,” she teased, and he pouted at her, “Come on, let’s hear what he has to say about me,” she said, and the boys looked at her sympathetically.

**“…but your mother needn't have died…she was trying to protect you.”**

“I can live with that,” Lily said, the tears having escaped her eyes, nodding her head. Remus sighed and put his arm around her shoulders, placing the book on the table, pulling her into a hug, “I’m sorry,” she sniffed, wiping her tears with the back of her hands, “I don’t know _why_ I’m crying.”

“Oh shut up,” Sirius said, “I’d be surprised if you _didn’t_ cry upon hearing about your death, especially if it was to taunt your son,” he added, and Lily sniffled.

“You are not very attractive when you cry,” Remus said, and Lily let out a watery laugh, covering her face with her hands as he grinned down at her.

“It’s the green eyes, they look so bad bloodshot,” she cried, and the boys laughed, Remus hugging her more tightly as her shoulders began to shake, “I don’t want to die,” she choked out in a whisper, and Remus nodded his head, rubbing his hand in soothing circles on her back.

“You obviously didn’t have to,” James grumbled, and her head snapped up, her eyes narrowing at him, “You should’ve just disapparated with Harry,” he said, and Lily scoffed, crossing her arms, her face flushed with anger. Remus let go of her as she elbowed him, and exchanged an irritated look with Sirius, who was gaping at James.

“What is wrong with you?” Sirius hissed to James while Remus attempted to comfort the seething Lily, who turned to look at him irritably.

“She didn’t have to _die_ ,” James hissed back, obviously bothered by the idea of Lily allowing herself to be killed, “She could’ve left, saved herself, saved Harry.”

“Because Voldemort wouldn’t have gone looking for her, right?” Sirius hissed, and James paled at the thought, “He couldn’t have come only for you, otherwise he’d never have gone and killed Lily and attempted to kill Harry after he’d done you in. Don’t be such a _stupid_ _fuck_ ,” he growled, and James looked down shamefully, “Besides,” he said, “I need someone to enjoy watching Moony attempt to comfort Lily with me,” he said simply, giving James a small smirk, which he returned, both of them turning to see an extremely confused Remus and a laughing Lily.

“What did we miss?” James asked, and Lily giggled some more as Remus snorted.

“That it none of your business,” she said, and Remus smirked at her, “Keep reading Remus.”

**“…Now give me the Stone, unless you want her to have died in vain."”**

“Bastard,” Lily hissed, and Remus groaned.

“Lily I cannot handle your mood swings,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes at him in mild amusement as Sirius and James smirked.

“My mood swings are extremely justified. My son is being taunted with my death, I think I’m allowed to be pissy,” she said simply, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Yes, oh mighty Lily,” he said, and Lily nudged him with her shoulder, causing him to chuckle and turn the page.

“When did you two become so close?” Sirius asked, and Lily and Remus exchanged a glance.

“Doing two hours of rounds a couple times every week with nobody other than each other to talk to does force the formation of a friendship,” Lily shrugged, and Remus nodded.

“Especially when the person you’re patrolling with has a very hilarious romantic life,” he said, and Lily shoved him.

“I told you all that in confidence, you prat,” she said, and he grinned at her.

“But _Lily_! He was such an arse! And he bought you _lilies!_ You can’t expect me _not_ to laugh at that!” he said, beaming, and Lily shoved him once more, flushing.

“I thought it was sweet,” she said, and Sirius noticed James’ eyes narrowing slightly.

“Extremely cheesy,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Just because _you_ don’t know how to be sweet,” she said, and he grinned at her.

“I would never send you lilies, woman. I have far better taste than that. Plus, they’re not your favourite flower, as _you_ said when he sent them,” Remus said, and Sirius snorted.

“Is this Abbot we’re talking about?” he asked, and Remus shook his head before Lily could stop him.

“Diggory,” he said, and James shot Remus an irritated look. The idea of Lily dating that prat Diggory, the rumored ladies man of Hufflepuff, making his stomach churn.

“It was Michael _Davies_ you idiot,” she snorted, rolling her eyes, and Remus flushed as James and Sirius laughed, “Diggory’s a pig,” she added, not missing the way the corners of James’ mouth turned up. **  
**

**“"NEVER!"**

**Harry sprang toward the flame door, but Voldemort screamed "SEIZE HIM!" and the next second, Harry felt Quirrell's hand close on his wrist.”**

Lily let out a terrified squeak and grabbed Remus’ forearm. The boy, obviously used to it from his rounds with Lily, barely noticed. James, on the other hand, noticed, and let out a dejected sigh, the beginnings of jealousy burning in the pit of his stomach, wishing he hadn’t exploded, otherwise Lily would be grabbing on to _his_ arm.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Lily squeaked, shaking Remus’ arm, causing him to lower the book, an amused smile on his face, “Oh my _god_ Remus!”

“You’re going muggle,” he said, and Lily flushed.

“Oh shut up,” she said, and Remus chuckled.

“I don’t get it,” Sirius said, and Remus smirked.

“‘Oh my god’ is a muggle phrase,” he said, “It’s like us saying ‘oh my Merlin’,” he said, and then smirked at Lily, who scowled back at him, “Lily’s prone to going muggle when she’s stressing out, like that one time when-”

“Enough, you bastard,” she said, clapping her hand over his mouth, and Remus snickered.

“Which time?” Sirius asked curiously, leaning forwards, and Lily gave Remus a glare, causing him to sigh and reach up, lowering her hand from his mouth.

“I can’t say,” he said sadly, “I promised Lily I wouldn’t.”

“Thank you,” Lily said simply, and Remus nodded sadly.

“It would have been really embarrassing too, just what’s needed for be mean to Lily day,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Voldemorts stealing your thunder, continue would you?” she said, and the boys chuckled.

**“At once, a needle-sharp pain seared across Harry's scar; his head felt as though it was about to split in two; he yelled, struggling with all his might, and to his surprise, Quirrell let go of him.”**

“FINALLY!” Sirius yelled, shooting his fist up in the air.

“Quirrell letting Harry go?” Lily asked uncertainly, looking at Remus, who simply shrugged. The green monster in James’ stomach started rising watching Lily look to Remus instead of him. _Why_ did he have to be such a prat and royally fuck everything up?

“No! Figuring out the scar pains!” Sirius said, and Lily nodded in understanding, a small smile spreading across her face.

“We were wrong! It wasn’t Snape,” she said, and the boys heard the relief in her voice.

“So I’m assuming the scar hurts when Voldemorts near, then?” Remus said, and Lily shot him an exasperated smile.

“What gave it away?” she teased, and he shoved her, causing her to giggle.

“Why the change in mood, _again_?” Remus teased, and Lily shrugged.

“Quirrell let him go didn’t he?” she said, and Remus rolled his eyes.

“He’s going to reach for him again,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“He’s free for a few seconds, I can be happy,” she said, and Remus rolled his eyes in amusement as Lily leaned on his shoulder, “Think he’s going to get out of this?” she asked him, and Remus shrugged, causing her head to fall off his shoulder and Sirius to burst out laughing as Lily scowled at Remus, “You jerk,” she said, and Remus shrugged, pretending to brush dandruff off his shoulder, throwing Lily a wink.

**“The pain in his head lessened — he looked around wildly to see where Quirrell had gone, and saw him hunched in pain, looking at his fingers — they were blistering before his eyes.”**

“What?” Lily said, cocking her head to the side, “Why?”

“Is it the stone?” Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged.

“But Harry hasn’t touched the stone,” she said, “And it’s just the elixir of life. It wouldn’t cause Quirrell’s skin to blister, would it?”

“Maybe it’s something Dumbledore did?” Remus suggested, and Lily grinned at him.

“Very astute observation,” she said, and Remus snorted as she giggled.

“It is the first time Quirrell’s touched Harry,” James cut in, wanting Lily to look at _him_ , “Maybe it has something to do with Quirrell,” he suggested, and Lily nodded, biting her lip in thought.

“Maybe it’s Harry,” she mused, “I mean, Quirrell rejected to shake his hand in the Leaky didn’t he?” she asked, and James nodded.

“But why?” he asked, and Lily shrugged, turning to Remus, causing James’ eyes to narrow infinitesimally. Sirius, noticing this, rolled his eyes and shoved James, giving him a ‘don’t be an idiot’ look, earning a slightly embarrassed but determined one in return.

**“"Seize him! SEIZE HIM!" shrieked Voldemort again, and Quirrell lunged, knocking Harry clean off his feet, landing on top of him, both hands around Harry's neck”**

Lily gasped, leaning over Remus to look at the book.

“Stop trying to read ahead, woman,” Remus laughed, holding the book out to his left so Lily couldn’t reach it. She glared at him and leaned across him for the book. Remus caught James’ eye, and gulped, quickly handing the book to Lily, who grinned.

“Arm get tired there, Lupin?” she teased, and he nodded, chuckling uncomfortably. He saw Sirius slap James on the back of the head and smirked- good, the boy deserved it, “I’ll read from here on,” she said, and Remus scoffed amusedly.

“Because my reading was inadequate?” he asked, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“ _No_ ,” she said, “Because my baby’s getting strangled and I want to read it myself instead of waiting to hear what happens,” she said, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Before, you handed it to me because you couldn’t read what was happening to your baby,” Remus said, and Lily hushed him with a wave of her hand.

“Stop living in the past Lupin,” she said, and Remus rolled his eyes amusedly as James and Sirius sniggered.

**“— Harry's scar was almost blinding him with pain, yet he could see Quirrell howling in agony.”**

“Good, I hope it’s hurting him,” James grumbled, feeling immensely pleased when Lily looked up and grinned at him.

“Think he’s actually managing to strangle Harry when he’s in pain?” Sirius asked, and Lily’s hand instantly shot up to her neck in response, earning sympathetic looks from the boys.

“It doesn’t sound like it,” James said, “It mostly seems to be Harry’s scar that’s hurting him.”

“James has a point,” Remus said, and Lily nodded in agreement, looking back down at the book, her vision a tad blurry imagining what Harry must be going through.

**“"Master, I cannot hold him — my hands — my hands!"**

**And Quirrell, though pinning Harry to the ground with his knees, let go of his neck and stared, bewildered, at his own palms — Harry could see they looked burned, raw, red, and shiny.”**

“Maybe it’s Harry’s soap, and Quirrell’s allergic,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a sardonic look as Remus and James snickered.

“I’m sure that’s it,” Lily deadpanned, and Sirius winked at her, “I want to know why this is happening,” she whined, whacking the book against Remus’ arm.

“Woman, why are you so abusive?” Remus mumbled, and Lily grinned at him before turning back to the book.

**“"Then kill him, fool, and be done!" screeched Voldemort. Quirrell raised his hand to perform a deadly curse, but Harry, by instinct, reached up and grabbed Quirrell's face —**

**"AAAARGH!"”**

The three boys cheered and Lily shook her head, her eyes still brimming with unshed tears.

“I am _so_ glad he’s a quick thinker,” Lily said happily, grinning down at the book, refusing to look at the boys, knowing they’d eye her sympathetically because of her watery eyes.

“Especially in the face of death,” James said, and Lily nodded.

**“Quirrell rolled off him, his face blistering, too, and then Harry knew: Quirrell couldn't touch his bare skin, not without suffering terrible pain — his only chance was to keep hold of Quirrell, keep him in enough pain to stop him from doing a curse.”**

“Oh _then_ he knew,” Sirius snorted, “Took him long enough.”

“Oh shove off Sirius,” James said, physically shoving Sirius to make his point clear, “He’s in pain, he’s eleven, he’s just met Voldemort _and_ he could die, I think he’s doing pretty well,” James said, and Lily beamed at him, causing his stomach to jump.

“What have you done to him?” Sirius gasped, turning to Lily, who only laughed.

“I wonder what Harry’s going to do next,” she mused, and Remus quirked a brow at her.

“You suddenly alright now?” he asked, and Lily nodded, a small smile on her face.

“He’s a smart kid, besides, Voldemort can’t do anything if the body he’s inhabiting refuses to cooperate with him,” she said, and Sirius groaned.

“I’m going to get grey hairs because of _you,_ ” he said, and Lily laughed, flicking some hair out of her eyes.

“You sound like my father,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

“He says that?” Sirius asked, and Lily rolled her eyes, nodding.

“All the time. I get asked so many questions when I get home,” she said, and Remus chuckled.

“They can’t possibly be worried about your academics,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Fathers only get grey hairs for one reason, Remus,” she said wisely, and the boys sniggered.

“Unless of course you’re Harry’s dad and you read this,” James grumbled, bringing his hands up to his hair, and Lily laughed, shaking her head affectionately.

**“Harry jumped to his feet, caught Quirrell by the arm, and hung on as tight as he could. Quirrell screamed and tried to throw Harry off — the pain in Harry's head was building — he couldn't see —”**

“That’s so brave,” Lily said quietly, a small smile on her face, and Remus chuckled, “I cant believe an eleven year old has the guts to do that,” she said, and a tear leaked down her face, “Oh come on, I’m _happy_ you stupid tear ducts,” she said, wiping furiously at her eyes, and the three boys laughed

“He’s really brave,” Remus agreed, smiling.

“I wish I could be that brave,” Lily sighed, resting her elbow on her knee and her chin in her hand.

“You are, you died protecting him,” Remus said, and Lily shook her head, a small smile on her face.

““Is that even possible? For something to hurt so much that you can’t see anymore?” she asked, and James nodded.

“Happens if a bludger gets you in the head,” he said, and Sirius snorted.

“But you just pass out if that happens. It’s not like this,” Sirius said, and James shrugged.

“You are blind for a couple seconds before you pass out,” he reasoned, but Lily shook her head.

“I don’t think it’s the same,” she said, “This is a building pain _inside_ his head. It doesn’t sound smart for him to keep holding on to Quirrell,” she said, biting her lip.

“If he lets go Quirrell will kill him,” Remus said gently, and Lily scoffed.

“If he keeps holding on he could possibly kill himself,” she said, and the boys grimaced.

**“he could only hear Quirrell's terrible shrieks and Voldemort's yells of, "KILL HIM! KILL HIM!"”**

“Merlin Voldemort, chill out,” Sirius grumbled, and the other three burst out laughing.

“It must be so scary, to not be able to see anything but only hear all this,” Lily said quietly, and Remus put his arm around her once more to comfort her.

“He’s a strong kid Lil,” Remus said, “He’ll be fine.”

**“and other voices, maybe in Harry's own head, crying, "Harry! Harry!"”**

“Think they’re in his head?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head, beaming, a few tears finally escaping her eyes.

“He’s going to be okay,” she said, slightly choked, nodding her head enthusiastically. Remus rolled his eyes and handed her a napkin from the pile on the table, “Bloody tear ducts,” she grumbled, and the boys chuckled.

“Should I read?” Remus asked gently, and Lily snorted.

“I’m emotional Remus, not illiterate,” she said, and he grinned at her as Sirius and James sniggered.

**“He felt Quirrell's arm wrenched from his grasp, knew all was lost, and fell into blackness, down . . . down . . . down . . .”**

Lily’s face paled and she looked up, catching James’ eye.

“He just passed out Lily, calm down,” James said gently, and she nodded her head, turning back to the book, not seeing the smile on James’ face.

**“Something gold was glinting just above him. The Snitch!”**

“The hell?” Lily asked, frowning, “What did I just read?”

“Quidditch dream?” Sirius suggested, and James shook his head.

“He must be coming to,” he said, and the other three nodded in realization.

“So he’s okay,” Lily sighed, a wide grin spreading across her face as the three boys nodded in confirmation, grins on their faces. She squealed and threw herself onto Remus in a tight hug. Remus chuckled and hugged her back. James watched on, almost exploding of jealousy.

**“He tried to catch it, but his arms were too heavy.”**

“Must be the muscles,” James said, and Lily snorted, causing his jaw to drop as she giggled.

“He’s eleven James,” she said, shaking her head, “He’s a scrawny little bugger. Besides, you said he was coming to, so it’s probably just a dream or something,” she shrugged.

“Oh I hate those kinds of dreams,” Sirius shuddered, and Lily grimaced in agreement.

**“He blinked. It wasn't the Snitch at all. It was a pair of glasses. How strange.”**

“You wear glasses you idiot,” Sirius snorted, and both Lily and James shot him disapproving glares.

“He doesn’t wear golden glasses,” Lily said, shaking her head, “His are black and round.”

“How is it you know everything?” Sirius asked, bewildered, and Lily grinned.

“I listen, Sirius. It was in the second chapter when he described himself,” she said with a good-natured laugh, and Sirius flushed as the other two sniggered.

“Oh bugger off you two,” Sirius grumbled, shoving James in the arm, causing James to grin at him and Remus and Lily to laugh.

**“He blinked again. The smiling face of Albus Dumbledore swam into view above him.”**

“Oh hello!” Sirius said cheerfully.

“Oh good, he’s safe,” Lily said, grinning widely, “And here I thought he was going to die down there.”

“Lily, you always think Harry’s going to die,” Remus said, and Lily shoved him, causing him to laugh.

“I wonder how he got through all that,” Lily mused, and James beamed.

“Good thing we’ve got Dumbledore there to explain it, eh?” he said, and Lily laughed, nodding her head. She looked down at the book and James sighed, wishing Lily and Sirius had never swapped places. As if reading his mind, Sirius stood up and grabbed Lily, who screamed, and sat her down next to James, taking his original seat next to Remus.

“What the hell, Sirius?” Lily asked, attempting to slow down her rapid pulse.

“I missed Moony,” Sirius said, throwing his arms around Remus and leaning his head on Remus’ shoulder. Remus snorted and shoved Sirius in the chest, causing him to fall back, and both Lily and James laughed.

“If you’d like, Sirius, I can lend you my makeup,” she said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at her as James and Remus sniggered.

“Just read, woman,” Sirius said, winking at James, who grinned back at him, suddenly in a much better mood.

**“"Good afternoon, Harry," said Dumbledore.”**

“Oh yes, good afternoon, let’s sound extremely casual because nothing dramatic has just happened,” Sirius said, and Lily lowered the book to give him an exasperated sigh, to which he just grinned.

“Back to this, are we?” she asked, and Sirius nodded. Lily groaned and hid her face in her hands.

“Why do you spend time with him?” she asked James, who only shook his head, chuckling quietly.

“Shut up Lily, I want to know what’s happening with Harry,” Sirius said, mimicking Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him, throwing the book at him.

“You read then if you’re so eager,” she said, and Sirius smirked.

“With _pleasure_ ,” he sniffed, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered.

**“Harry stared at him. Then he remembered: "Sir! The Stone! It was Quirrell! He's got the Stone! Sir, quick —"”**

“Bit slow, this one, isn’t he?” Sirius asked, amused, and Lily sighed exasperatedly.

“He just came to! He’s allowed to be slow,” she said, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“When Prongs comes to after a Quidditch game his first words are ‘who won?’” Sirius snorted, and Lily turned to James with a look of mingled disbelief and amusement.

“You do not,” she said, and James shrugged, his skin darkening, “You don’t say ‘what happened?’ like normal people?” Lily asked, and James smirked as Remus and Sirius sniggered.

“Well I always know what happened if I black out and the last thing I remember is a Quidditch match,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“You irritate me,” she said, and James chuckled quietly.

“He obviously got this slowness form you, then,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“He did,” she agreed, nodding.

“When have you ever been unconscious?” Sirius asked, and Lily frowned.

“A couple times,” she said, “Once when I got cursed by that Slytherin,” she said, and the boys’ eyes narrowed to slits, “and the other when I was ten and fell off the top of the slide because Billy pushed me,” she said.

“You got cursed by a Slytherin?” James asked, his eyes glinting with anger. Lily winced slightly at the anger, remembering the last time she’d been sitting next to him and he’d gotten angry.

“It was years ago,” she said gently, “In third year,” she said, “No big deal!”

“Who was it?” James asked, and Lily sighed.

“Malfoy,” she said. James raised his eyebrows at her, as if telling her to continue, and she gave a sigh of resignation, “I was walking down the Charms corridor by myself and he and a gang of his friends came along,” she said, trailing off as all three boys adopted angry expressions.

“What did he do?” Sirius asked, and Lily groaned.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, “I was ‘rescued’,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“By who?” Remus asked, and Lily smiled slightly.

“Caradoc,” she said simply, a small dreamy smile crossing her face, “He was two years above us,” she said, and James grumbled.

“And then you went out with him,” he said, and Lily nodded, grinning.

“Jealous?” she teased, and James smirked at her as Sirius and Remus snickered.

**“"Calm yourself, dear boy, you are a little behind the times," said Dumbledore. "Quirrell does not have the Stone."”**

Lily squealed happily and clapped her hands, bouncing in her seat, “We _won_!” she said excitedly.

“He does get the slowness from her then, doesn’t he?” Sirius mused, grinning at Lily, who had taken to dancing in her seat.

“Seems like it,” James chuckled, smiling adoringly at the girl next to him.

“We need some chocolate or something to celebrate,” Lily said happily, and Remus beamed.

“Honey, the last thing you need is chocolate,” Sirius chuckled, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“You can always do with some chocolate, right Remus?” she said, turning to the boy, his eyes were wide with childish happiness, who nodded happily.

“Let’s just find out what actually happened to the stone,” James said, amused, and Lily nodded happily, crossing her legs on the bench.

**“"Then who does? Sir, I —"**

**"Harry, please relax, or Madam Pomfrey will have me thrown out."”**

The four of them laughed loudly at that, Lily giggling and leaning on the table.

“She wouldn’t,” Lily laughed, shaking her head, “It’s _Dumbledore_.”

“You never know with old Poppy,” Sirius said, stroking his imaginary mustache thoughtfully, causing Lily to giggle, “She’s a tough bird.”

**“Harry swallowed and looked around him. He realized he must be in the hospital wing. He was lying in a bed with white linen sheets, and next to him was a table piled high with what looked like half the candy shop.”**

“Which candy shop?” Sirius asked, his eyes wide, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Does it matter?” she asked exasperatedly, smiling at Sirius, “Candy is candy.”

“Yes, but he said _the_ candy shop,” he said, rolling his eyes, “Which must mean there’s a specific candy shop!”

“It may even be _in_ Hogwarts,” Lily said, wagging her brows, “It’s big enough isn’t it?” she asked, and Sirius groaned longingly.

“I need candy,” he said, looking towards the house elves, “Think I’ll get a treacle tart if I ask,” he said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him

“You just ate breakfast,” she said, crossing her arms, and Sirius sighed.

“It’s no fun having a mummy around at school,” he whined, pouting at Remus, who snorted as Lily and James laughed.

 **“"Tokens from your friends and admirers," said Dumbledore, beaming.** **“What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows.”**

Lily shook her head in exasperation as the three boys sniggered, “Sounds about right,” she chuckled, shaking her head, “It’s what I hate so much about this school. It’s only the massive secrets that become known,” she snorted, and Sirius gave Remus a sly smile, receiving a hard shove in return.

“Why is it when I wake up there aren’t any tokens of appreciation by my bedside?” James whined, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“You wake up from Quidditch injuries. It’s not like you took on Voldemort singlehandedly,” she said, and James pouted as Sirius and Remus snickered.

“How about this, mate. Next time you wake up from a Quidditch injury, Evans here will be holding your hand,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a dry look as Remus snickered and the corners of James’ mouth quirked up.

“If you’re so keen on him waking up with someone holding his hand, hold it yourself,” she said, and Sirius shot her a sardonic look as the other two sniggered.

“I don’t want to hold Prongs’ hand,” he sniffed, and Lily beamed.

“I recall you saying you were in love with him,” she said, and Sirius gaped as James and Remus burst out laughing.

“Could you, for once, not remember everything?” Sirius huffed, and Lily beamed at him.

“Sorry Sirius, it goes against my inner swot,” she said, and Sirius barked a laugh.

**“I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat.”**

The boy sniggered as Lily shook her head in a would-be-disapproving manner, had she not been grinning.

“Those two,” she laughed, shaking her head fondly.

“I correct myself,” Sirius sniggered, “Next time you wake up, Prongs, there’ll be a toilet seat next to you,” he said, and James rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed.

“Because Pomfrey would really let you bring that in,” James snorted, and Lily shrugged.

“They could use your cloak,” she said, and James gaped at her as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

“Finding excitement in rule breaking, are we Evans?” Sirius asked, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“This way I don’t have to hold his hand,” she said teasingly, and James pouted as the other two sniggered.

**“No doubt they thought it would amuse you. Madam Pomfrey, however, felt it might not be very hygienic, and confiscated it."”**

“Told you,” James said, grinning at Sirius.

“Don’t disregard my brilliance,” Lily sniffed, and James grinned at her as the other two laughed.

“I sincerely hope you haven’t always been this fun,” Sirius sighed, and Lily quirked a brow at him, “Because we’d have been missing out.”

“She’s always been good at having fun,” Remus sniggered, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Sirius and James raised their brows, James slightly irritably.

“Define ‘fun’,” James said, and Remus smirked at Lily, who glared at him.

“Well these girls have a lot of fun at their monthly girly parties,” he said.

“I forbid you from speaking any more, Remus Lupin,” Lily said, her eyes narrowed, and both Sirius and James pouted.

“I want to know!” Sirius whined, “Why is it Moony gets to know?”

“I had no choice but to explain, um, the reason behind the thing,” she said, and Remus snorted as James and Sirius pouted.

“Lily!” James whined, and Lily shook her head.

“Absolutely not, move on,” she said, and the boys sighed dejectedly.

**“"How long have I been in here?"**

**"Three days.** **Mr. Ronald Weasley and Miss Granger will be most relieved you have come round, they have been extremely worried."”**

“Three days?” Lily squeaked, her eyes wide, “What _happened_?”

“Were you not paying attention before?” Sirius asked, and Lily glowered at him.

“Not the time, stupid,” she said, and Sirius smirked as Remus and James laughed, “But three days is a long time to be unconscious! It must have been so much worse than we thought!”

“Oh calm yourself, he’s alive,” Remus said, rolling his eyes, and Sirius sniggered at Lily’s affronted expression.

“Oh _Merlin!_ ” Lily squeaked just as Sirius opened his mouth to read, “Ron! Hermione! Are they okay? How’s Ron?” she asked, and Sirius sighed, lowering the book in amusement.

“Obviously they’re both alive,” he said, gesturing to the book, and Lily flushed, “and if they’re not lying in the hospital wing I’m vouching with, yes, they’re okay,” he said, and Lily flushed.

“You never answered the Ron question,” she mumbled, and Sirius rolled his eyes with a grin as the other two laughed.

**“"But sir, the Stone —"**

**"I see you are not to be distracted. Very well, the Stone. Professor Quirrell did not manage to take it from you. I arrived in time to prevent that, although you were doing very well on your own, I must say."”**

“Oh, so it was Dumbledore,” Lily sighed, and the three boys threw her incredulous looks.

“What gave it away?” Remus teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“I’m _sorry_ okay,” she snorted, “It just didn’t sound like it would be Dumbledore, what, with him yelling ‘Harry’,” she sniffed, and the boys grinned at her.

“Who did you think it would be?” James asked, and Lily shrugged uncomfortably, pushing her thick locks of auburn hair away from her face.

“Hermione maybe,” she reasoned, “I mean, she was the closest to Harry, and Dumbledore was _supposed_ to be in London,” she said, and the boys smirked.

“It’s Dumbledore,” Sirius shrugged as an explanation, and Lily sighed, nodding her head.

“It’s Dumbledore.”

**“"You got there? You got Hermione's owl?"”**

“Oh,” Lily said stupidly, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Lily Evans? Did you _forget_ something?” Sirius gasped, and Lily nodded her head in faux-shame as the boys sniggered.

“What happened to ‘elephants never forget’?” Remus teased, and Lily burst out laughing as the other two eyed them in confusion.

“What?” Sirius asked after exchanging a confused glance with the slightly jealous James.

“It’s from a muggle movie,” Lily giggled, “Remus,” she suddenly gasped, “Are you calling me an elephant?” she gasped, and his jaw dropped as the other two sniggered, “Is it because of my huge arse?” she sniffed, and Remus grinned.

“Baby, you’re tiny, I don’t think it’s possible for you to have a huge arse,” James snorted, and Lily flushed happily.

“At least someone’s nice to me,” she sniffed, shooting Remus a pointed glare, which he responded to with a chuckle and an eye roll.

**“"We must have crossed in midair. No sooner had I reached London than it became clear to me that the place I should be was the one I had just left. I arrived just in time to pull Quirrell off you —"”**

“I think we can discard my memory lapse, since it didn’t matter anyway,” Lily sniffed, and Remus rolled his eyes as the other two smirked.

“I don’t think so,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“You called me fat, discard it,” she said, and Remus smirked at her as James and Sirius burst out laughing.

“I did _not_ call you fat,” Remus said, and Lily grinned.

“You called me an elephant, what else could it mean?” she asked, and Remus glared at her.

“You’ll be the death of me,” Remus grumbled, and Sirius pat his back sympathetically, winking at Lily.

“We crossed in midair,” James chuckled, shaking his head, “Only Dumbledore,” he chuckled, and Lily giggled.

“It is a funny thing to say,” she agreed, “it’s a hilarious mental image,” she said, and James laughed.

“Mental image?” he asked, and Lily grinned, nodding.

“I can just see an owl flying and all of a sudden a Dumbledore passes by it,” she giggled, and James laughed.

“It must be the muggle in you imagining things like this,” he chuckled, and Lily nodded, grinning

“Probably, I doubt that mental image would ever cross your mind, you stupid pureblood,” she said, and James let out a shocked, surprised laugh.

“Did you just call me a _pureblood_?” he laughed, and Lily flushed, nodding.

“Well you _are_ ,” she said, and he chuckled, shaking his head with an amused expression on his face.

“I never thought I’d hear _you_ say that,” he laughed, and Lily shrugged, a small smile on her face.

“Of course she would, she’s Mudblood!” Sirius gasped, and Lily giggled, nodding her head.

“Of course, Mudblood spends her time putting down the evil purebloods,” she said seriously, and Sirius nodded, “with her faithful sidekick, Outcast!” she said.

Sirius started to nod then froze, his eyes widening as he looked at her in outrage, “ _SIDEKICK_?” he roared, and Lily grinned at him as Remus and James burst out laughing, “I’m not your bleeding _sidekick!_ We’re partners in crime!” he said, and Lily grinned at him.

“My apologies Outcast dearest,” she said, the grin on her face not looking apologetic at all. Sirius rolled his eyes at her and she giggled, ( _finally_ ) leaning her head on James’ shoulder, causing him to grin widely, putting his arm around her to hold her in place.

**“"It was you?"**

**"I feared I might be too late."**

**"You nearly were, I couldn't have kept him off the Stone much longer —"”**

Sirius snorted in amusement, “ ‘It was you’,” he sniggered, “This kid is brilliant, first the ‘you!’ with Quirrell and now this,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the other two laughed.

“He’s processing things by repeating them,” she said, and Remus grinned.

“Must have gotten that from you,” he said, and Lily glared at him, “Or is it not you who repeated everything McGonagall was telling us during rounds last month?” he asked, and Lily huffed as the other two laughed.

“I was _confirming_ so she knew I knew!” she protested, and Remus grinned wickedly at her, causing her to huff and cross her arms, still leaning on James’ shoulder.

“James he’s being mean to me,” she whined, and James chuckled.

“I thought you were a feminist,” he said, and Lily elbowed him playfully as Sirius and Remus laughed

“I wasn’t asking you to protect me, you big oaf,” she said, and he chuckled, “I was simply complaining.”

“Oh of course, my bad,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“You’re supposed to say something shitty about Remus in return,” she prodded, and James laughed.

“Oh, sorry, er, he’s an idiot,” he said, and Lily grinned cheekily at Remus, who stuck his tongue out at her as James, grinning, pressed a light kiss on the top of her head, glad she’d forgiven him for his outburst.

**“"Not the Stone, boy, you — the effort involved nearly killed you. For one terrible moment there, I was afraid it had.””**

Lily let out a squeak and James rubbed her arm soothingly, grinning like a loon. Sirius rolled his eyes at James, who simply stuck his tongue out at him, causing Sirius to snort in amusement.

“I told you it could have been fatal,” Lily said to Remus, who held his arms up in surrender as Sirius and James laughed.

“Why so much attacking of Moony?” Sirius asked, and Lily beamed.

“He’s the one who’s adamant on be mean to Lily day, so I’m fighting back,” she said, and both James and Sirius laughed as Remus rolled his eyes in amusement, “You seem to be under the false impression that I’ll _let_ you tease me.”

“Okay, Lily, calm down,” James laughed, nudging her playfully.

**“As for the Stone, it has been destroyed."”**

“Destroyed?” James squawked, as the other three gaped at the book.

“W-what about Flamel?” Lily asked, frowning, “He’ll die wont he?”

“I’d assume so,” Remus said, nodding his head, “They probably want to get rid of it because of the appeal, not to mention the fact that Voldemort knows it can eventually bring him back to power.”

“Sounds like a legit reason to get rid of it,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled as the other two shot him sardonic looks.

**“"Destroyed?" said Harry blankly. "But your friend — Nicolas Flamel —"**

**"Oh, you know about Nicolas?" said Dumbledore, sounding quite delighted. "You did do the thing properly, didn't you? Well, Nicolas and I have had a little chat, and agreed it's all for the best."”**

“Merlin this kid is far too much like you two,” Sirius laughed, and both Lily and James beamed, “He says destroyed like James, and then worries about Flamel like Lily,” he snorted, and Lily giggled.

“Best of both worlds,” Lily said happily, and James beamed down at her, “I love how thrilled Dumbledore is that Harry knows Flamel,” she giggled, and James laughed.

“He’s glad Harry did all his research,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“Must be the Professor in him,” she said faux-wisely, and James snickered.

“I can’t imagine having Dumbledore as a professor,” James said, shaking his head.

“Are you kidding? I think that would’ve been the easiest class to pull pranks in, just because Dumbledore would play along and enjoy them,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“I think Sirius is right,” she said, “But I can’t imagine having Dumbledore grading my essays.”

“Wonder if he was a harsh or easy grader,” James mused, and Lily shrugged.

“Probably a hard one,” she said, and the boys nodded.

“I think he’d be the kind of teacher who didn’t give you work,” Sirius said, “He seems like he’d just teach you for the sake of making sure you learnt, and giving you minimal homework. Not like McGonagall at all,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“That does sound very Dumbledore,” she giggled, “He’d say things like ‘if it’s no too much trouble please do these questions’,” she added, and the boys laughed.

“I take my hat off to Flamel though,” Remus said, grimacing, “I wonder what it’s like to agree to your own death,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“I suppose for him it’s just like finally going to bed,” she suggested, “I mean, six hundred years is a _long_ time.”

“But he’s got his wife,” Sirius said, grinning sweetly, “They stayed alive with each other for so many years. It really takes the whole together forever thing to a new level, doesn’t it?” he said, and Lily beamed, her eyes crinkling.

“That’s _so_ cute!” she squealed, and James chuckled, “Do you think he made it so they could be together forever? Because that would be _the most romantic thing ever_ ,” she squealed, and the boys laughed.

“I never knew you were capable of being such a girl, Evans,” Sirius chuckled, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“Shut up,” she advised, still grinning like a lunatic, “Nicholas Flamel has to be the most _romantic_ man _ever_ ,” she said, and James laughed at her excitement, kissing her temple.

**“"But that means he and his wife will die, won't they?"**

**"They have enough Elixir stored to set their affairs in order and then, yes, they will die."”**

“Affairs in order?” Lily asked, and James shrugged.

“Their wills I suppose,” he said, “If you’re not expecting to die any time soon why would you write one?” he asked, and Lily nodded.

“Point noted,” she said, poking James in the cheek affectionately, her head still resting on his shoulder, and he chuckled.

**“Dumbledore smiled at the look of amazement on Harry's face.”**

“Why does Harry seem so obsessed with Flamel dying?” Sirius snorted, and Lily shrugged.

“It must seem like the worst thing possible to him,” she said quietly, “I mean, look at his life,” she said, and the boys grimaced.

“I see what you mean,” Remus grimaced, rubbing his nose.

“Dumbledore always seems to be doing that,” James chuckled, shaking his head to break the mood, “Smiling at our amazement,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“I think he secretly enjoys being so much smarter than the rest of us,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“"To one as young as you, I'm sure it seems incredible, but to Nicolas and Perenelle, it really is like going to bed after a very, very long day. After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”**

“Lily you were right!” Sirius laughed, “finally going to bed,” he said, and the other two laughed as Lily flushed.

“Nice to know I’m as brilliant as Dumbledore,” she said, grinning cheekily at Remus, who rolled his eyes

“So much conceited for someone so small,” Remus said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the others laughed.

“I really like that quote,” Lily said after the laughter had died down, a small smile on her face, “‘To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure’,” she repeated quietly, a small smile on her face, “It’s very Marauder,” she said, winking at Sirius, who smirked at her as the other two laughed.

“It is,” James agreed, grinning.

“Do you ever think about what you want on your gravestone?” Lily asked, and the boys all turned to her, eyebrows quirked.

“No,” Remus said slowly, frowning, “something you’d like to tell us Lily?”

“I’m not suicidal you twats,” she snorted, leaning more snugly into James, who smiled slightly at the movement, hugging her to him more tightly, “But do you ever imagine what you’d want on there? It’s going to be what people think of you when they walk by it in a graveyard, it’s the quote that describes what you believe in,” she said, smiling slightly.

“You’re starting to scare me, Lil,” James said in a strained voice, and she shook her head.

“I’m not meaning to,” she said, “I just think that’s the kind of thing I’d like on my gravestone,” she said, and James rolled his eyes

“Okay Lily, I’ll make sure that’s on your gravestone, can we move on from this disturbing conversation?” he asked, and Lily grinned sheepishly up at him, causing him to roll his eyes.

**“You know, the Stone was really not such a wonderful thing.** **As much money and life as you could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all — the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them."”**

“Your romantic ideas of Nicholas Flamel crushed Lil?” Remus asked, and Lily snorted as James and Sirius laughed.

“Please, Nicholas did it for love,” she said, and James laughed

“He’s Nicholas now, is he?” he teased, and Lily nodded.

“My true love,” she sniffed, and the boys laughed.

“It’s a pretty rotten system, don’t you think?” Remus mused, “Humans choosing the things that are worst for them.”

“Like chocolate,” Lily said, and Remus scowled at her as James and Sirius snickered, “I’m _kidding_ ,” she giggled, “It is bad for you though,” she said, and Remus sighed, nodding

“Like I said, rotten system,” he said sadly, and Lily giggled.

“It gets to the best of us Remus,” she said sympathetically, and he smirked at her, “we all have our guilty pleasures.”

“What’s yours?” Remus teased, and Lily snorted.

“I’m flawless,” she said, and the boys laughed, James pressing his lips to her head, “Why are you so kissy all of a sudden?” she asked, and he chuckled.

“Don’t mean to bother you, love,” he said, and Lily laughed, leaning on him once more.

“I didn’t say it _did_ , I was just inquiring,” she said, and James laughed, bringing his hand up to ruffle her hair before settling it back down on her shoulder.

“Asking a bit too childish of a word for you?” Remus teased, and Lily snorted as the other boys laughed.

**“Harry lay there, lost for words. Dumbledore hummed a little and smiled at the ceiling.”**

Lily giggled, shaking her head, causing James to look down at her, “Our Headmaster is so wonderfully weird,” she whispered in response to his questioning glance, and he chuckled.

“Amazing alliteration,” he whispered back, and Lily grinned up at him, “I’m sorry I yelled at you before,” he said, and Lily’s eyes snapped up to his, “I really didn’t mean it, it was just-”

“I meant what I said before, James. It’s okay,” she said, and he continued to look down at her with a wary expression. She smiled and leaned up, kissing him on the cheek, “Stop worrying about it, you’ll lose muscle mass,” she said, and he laughed.

“And of course you’ll ditch me, because you’re only with me for my body,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“Obviously,” she said, and he chuckled.

“If you’re done with your secret whispering we’d like to get back to our story,” Sirius cut in amusedly, and the couple turned to see the other two watching them with amused smiles on their faces, their faces flushing.

“Go ahead,” Lily said, and James sniggered at her squeak, causing her to shove him.

**“Sir?" said Harry. "I've been thinking . . . Sir — even if the Stone's gone, Vol-, I mean, You-Know-Who —"**

**"Call him Voldemort, Harry. Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."”**

“FINALLY!” Lily yelled happily, clapping her hands once, and the boys laughed.

“What are the chances that he used the exact same phrase as you did?” Sirius teased, and Lily sighed.

“Dumbledore and I are just connected, brilliance wise,” she said, and the boys snorted in amusement.

**“"Yes, sir. Well, Voldemort's going to try other ways of coming back, isn't he? I mean, he hasn't gone, has he?"”**

“Sadly not,” Lily sighed, and the boys grimaced, “surely there are other ways for him to rise to power, no?” she asked James, who shrugged.

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been through this before,” he said, and Lily gave him a look as he grinned cheekily at her.

“I’m sure there are,” Lily said, turning her head from James, who chuckled, “Otherwise there’d be no mentioning of Voldemort now,” she said confidently, and Sirius guffawed.

“Who are you trying to convince woman? Nobody’s arguing with you,” he said, and Lily flushed as James and Remus sniggered.

**“"No, Harry, he has not. He is still out there somewhere, perhaps looking for another body to share . . . not being truly alive, he cannot be killed.”**

“He can’t?” James choked, as the others eyes widened.

“There has to be a way,” Lily said, shaking her head, “There _has_ to. He’s not immortal,” she said.

“Then what is he?” Sirius asked, and Lily let out a frustrated groan.

“I don’t _know_!” she said, her voice bordering on hysteria, “There _has_ to be a way to get rid of him. He _can’t_ live forever, he _cant_ ,” she said, “I _refuse_ to allow this all to come true,” she said, shaking her head, a few tears leaking down her face. James turned her and wrapped his arms around her, allowing her to hide her tears in his shirt.

“Lily,” he said gently, resting his chin on her head and looking helplessly at Remus and Sirius, who shook their heads, fighting tears, their thoughts focused on what Lily had said.

“I don’t want to die,” Lily sobbed into James’ chest, wrapping her arms around his torso, and he gently stroked her hair.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said comfortingly, and she shook her head.

“ _How_?” she cried, and he sighed.

“I don’t know yet,” he said quietly, “But we will, I promise,” he said, placing a finger under her chin and bringing her face up to look him in the eyes. The pain in Lily’s eyes caused a flash of pain to rip through James, who rested his forehead on hers, closing his eyes, “I promise,” he said quietly, and Lily wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him in place as tears started to seep out of his eyes.

“We’re going to get some ice cream,” Remus said, grabbing Sirius’ hand and dragging him away to give the couple a moment, and allow James to cry without the humiliation of his best friends witnessing it.

“James,” she said gently, and he opened his eyes to look at her, “it’s going to be okay,” she said, and he lowered his head to her shoulder. Lily felt wetness on her neck and brought her hand up to sift her fingers through his hair, allowing him to cry in her neck.

“I shouldn’t be crying like this,” James choked out, “I’m the guy.”

“Oh shut up,” Lily said, lightly slapping the top if his head, and he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her waist, “We’ll find a way to figure it out,” she said gently, and he picked his head up, looking down at her.

“I can’t imagine you dying,” he said in a choked voice, “It, it just doesn’t seem plausible, I can’t imagine a world without you in it,” he said, and Lily’s eyes widened, “I know, I know,” he said gently, letting go of her waist and placing his hands on his forearms, “We’ve only _technically_ been together for a few days,” he said, before smiling slightly, “But I’ve lo-liked, _liked_ , you for years now,” he said, and Lily smiled slightly.

“It’s okay to say love, you know,” she teased, and he chuckled huskily, “This is going to sound stupid,” she said, and he looked at her, quirking an eyebrow, “So don’t laugh or anything,” she added, and he grinned.

“I’ll do my best,” he said, and she nodded, looking down at the bench.

“Okay so it’s like this,” she started, knowing James was still looking at her face and wishing they weren’t so close together so he wouldn’t be able to see every emotion on her face so easily, “We’ve only been together a few days, right? But, it doesn’t feel like it’s only been a few days,” she said quietly, “It’s, okay, it’s like this,” she said again, and he squeezed her forearms reassuringly, “It’s not _love_ exactly,” she said, frowning, “It _can’t_ be,” she said, “It’s only been a few days and that would just be…but it was never like this with my past boyfriends…I don’t know, I guess it’s possible, but, it’s, ugh,” she groaned, dropping her head, and James chuckled, pressing his lips to her forehead.

“You don’t have to finish,” James said, and Lily looked up at him, her face flaming red, and he smiled at her, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek, “I got the message,” he said, and Lily let out a breathless laugh.

“I’m so bad at this stuff,” she groaned, and he laughed.

“I think it’s endearing, so you’re in luck,” he said, and she grinned up at him.

“I think your friends want to come back,” she said, and James lifted his head, looking over his shoulder to see Remus and Sirius standing a little ways down the table with a large tub of ice cream and multiple spoons.

“It’s safe to come back now,” James chuckled, and the other two sighed, walking over.

“I told you we should’ve just stayed back there,” Remus grumbled, and Sirius snorted.

“They had to stop their bloody moment some time, I want to read the story,” he said, and both Lily and James grinned at him, Lily dropping her arms from James’ neck and him moving to put his arm around her, hugging her to his side.

“Sorry Sirius,” Lily said, and he snorted.

“How you expect me to handle being in love with two people who are in love with each other is beyond me,” he sniffed, and Lily laughed.

“Sorry for being so inconsiderate,” she said, “Can you still love me?” she asked, and Sirius sighed.

“It’s a curse,” he said, placing the tub of ice cream in the centre of the table while Remus passed spoons to everyone, “Dig in,” he said happily.

“Nobody has a cold right?” Remus asked warily, and the others shot him amused looks, “Excuse me for not wanting to fall ill,” he said, and the others laughed.

“No, we’re all good,” Lily said, and Remus sighed, plunging his spoon into the tub of ice cream.

**“He left Quirrell to die; he shows just as little mercy to his followers as his enemies.”**

“That’s because he has no bloody feelings,” Sirius said, and the others snorted in agreement.

“In a parallel universe Voldemort knocks on peoples doors and hands them chocolate,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

“We should find a way to move there,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded, giggling, as she dug her spoon back into the tub for another spoon of ice cream.

**“Nevertheless, Harry, while you may only have delayed his return to power, it will merely take someone else who is prepared to fight what seems a losing battle next time — and if he is delayed again, and again, why, he may never return to power."”**

“I think that was an extremely pointless portion of his speech,” Lily said, and the boys laughed, “He just keeps contradicting himself!”

“Your mind twin apologizes,” James said, and Lily nudged him as the other two sniggered.

**“Harry nodded, but stopped quickly, because it made his head hurt.”**

“Sounds like a legitimate reason to stop,” James snorted, and the others laughed.

“I bloody hate headaches,” Lily grumbled, “I think they’re the worst thing that can happen.”

“You get them often?” James asked, and Lily shrugged.

“If I’ve been doing too much reading my head starts hurting, mum says its because I’ve strained my eyes too much or something,” she added with a roll of her eyes, and Sirius smirked.

“You’ll have to give up being a swot Lil,” he said solemnly, and Lily pouted, causing the others to laugh.

“I don’t know what else to be,” she sniffed dramatically.

“Be a Marauder!” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass. I’ll work on being more of a girl,” she said, and the boys laughed.

**“Then he said, "Sir, there are some other things I'd like to know, if you can tell me . . . things I want to know the truth about. . . ."”**

“Oh finally,” Lily sighed, “We’ll get some answers.”

“I wonder if he’ll tell Harry why Voldemort went after him in the first place,” James said, and Lily sighed.

“I hope he does but I doubt he will,” she said.

“Do enlighten us, oh mighty mind twin of Dumbledore,” Remus said, and a grin flashed across Lily’s face as James and Sirius snickered.

“Well he’s only eleven,” she reasoned, “I mean, it may be too harsh to lay on a child. Maybe when he’s older.”

“I always hated when people told me that,” James grumbled, ruffling his hair, “Wait till you’re older, you’ll understand when you’re older, you’re not old enough,” he said, shaking his head, “It’s just a bloody number.”

“Thanks for sharing, James,” Lily chuckled, and he flushed slightly as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“"The truth." Dumbledore sighed. "It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution. However, I shall answer your questions unless I have a very good reason not to, in which case I beg you'll forgive me. I shall not, of course, lie."”**

“So basically he’s saying I’ll answer your questions only if I want to?” Sirius said, and Lily sighed as James and Remus sniggered.

“He’s warning Harry that he may not answer some questions,” she said, rolling her eyes, and Sirius smirked

“So, what I said,” he said, and Lily shot him a sardonic look as James and Remus sniggered at her exasperation.

**“"Well . . . Voldemort said that he only killed my mother because she tried to stop him from killing me. But why would he want to kill me in the first place?"”**

“Excuse me, but I died too,” James scoffed, and the other three burst out laughing, Lily giggling mercilessly on his shoulder, “Ungrateful sprog,” he huffed, and the others laughed harder.

“Yes but he only killed me because I was protecting Harry,” Lily pointed out, grinning, “so he’s wondering why I had to die,” he said, and James snorted.

“Because I was just getting some practice with my dueling skills,” he said bitterly, and Lily bit her lip to hide her grin as Sirius and Remus openly sniggered.

“Well evidently you need more practice,” Lily said, and James shot her a sardonic look as the others laughed.

**“Dumbledore sighed very deeply this time.** **"Alas, the first thing you ask me, I cannot tell you. Not today. Not now. You will know, one day . . . put it from your mind for now, Harry. When you are older . . . I know you hate to hear this . . . when you are ready, you will know."”**

“Again with the age thing!” James squeaked, and the others burst out laughing.

“I think James is just sensitive because Harry forgot to mention his death,” Sirius said, and James stuck his tongue out at him.

“Well, I suppose we’re not figuring out the great mystery today,” Remus sighed, and Lily groaned.

“This is going to bother me for so long,” she whined, and the boys smiled at her sympathetically.

“And you can’t even find answers in the library? What are you going to do?” Sirius gasped, and Lily’s lips turned up in a smile as the other two snickered.

**“And Harry knew it would be no good to argue.”**

“Smart boy,” Remus chuckled, and Sirius smirked.

“Arguing with Dumbledore is like attempting to blow down a wall,” he said, and the others laughed.

“A very amused wall,” James corrected, and the boys chuckled.

“That’s so condescending,” Lily laughed, shaking her head fondly, “Just being amused as someone yells at you.”

“Then I apologize for being condescending these past couple years,” James said, kissing her temple as the other two laughed and Lily glowered at him.

**“"But why couldn't Quirrell touch me?"”**

“Because if he touched you he’d lose his job,” Sirius said simply, and Lily’s face contorted in disgust.

“SIRIUS!” she shrieked, and he grinned devilishly at her as James and Remus snickered.

“Oh _alright_ ,” Sirius grumbled, “Because his skin was blistering,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Sirius,” she said once again, and he winked at her.

“You’re very pretty, that furious shade of red, I must say,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as James and Remus laughed.

“You sound like Potter,” she grumbled, and James pouted, his eyes twinkling, as the other two laughed.

“It’s like a game, Evans,” Sirius said with a majestic wise air, and Lily snorted, “Once he passes, it’s my turn. Then when I pass, Moony can take a shot.”

“I’m afraid you won’t ever pass,” James said, and Sirius sighed dejectedly as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“"Your mother died to save you.”**

“He _knows_ ,” James sneered, and the others burst out laughing.

“Prongs stop being o sensitive, so what if your son doesn’t acknowledge your death?” Sirius said, grinning devilishly, “You probably weren’t all that important, anyway.”

“Excuse me, but without me he wouldn’t exist,” James sniffed, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Yes James, we’ve established this, but had you simply been in the toilet or something you wouldn’t have died, so really, your death didn’t save his live, _mine_ did,” she preened, grinning cheekily up at him, and James gaped at her.

“James doesn’t use the toilet on Halloween though,” Sirius said, and James flushed as Lily quirked a brow, “After what we did to him in First Year,” he added, and Remus sniggered.

“Do I want to know?” Lily asked, and James rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“The lads may or may not have put fake spiders in the toilet that jumped up at me when I sat down,” he said, and Lily shot the snickering duo disapproving looks.

“In _First Year_?” she asked, her voice shaking from restrained laughter, “Poor little James!”

“Like he’s innocent,” Sirius snorted, and James grinned at him, “He started the Halloween pranks.”

“Of course he did,” Lily said exasperatedly, shaking her head fondly, “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” James said innocently, his eyes glittering mischievously, and the other two snorted.

**“If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love.”**

“No wonder he’s so bitter,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded, “Think he’s a virgin?”

“Sirius!” Lily hissed, her face flushing brightly as James and Remus roared with laughter.

“It’s a fair question!” Sirius protested, and Lily snorted.

“You don’t need to love to shag,” she said, rolling her eyes, “Besides, he went _here_ ,” she said, gesturing around at the walls, “Nobody leaves this place a virgin,” she said, and the boys sniggered

“We make sure of that,” Sirius said, grinning dirtily.

“You shag boys, Sirius?” Lily asked, and he shot her an amused look as James and Remus sniggered.

“Only these two,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed as James and Remus exchanged a disgusted look.

“I thought so,” she said, “No boys are this close.”

“Can we please never talk about this again?” Remus asked in a strained voice, and Lily and Sirius laughed as James exchanged a sympathetic look with Remus.

**“He didn't realize that love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign . . . to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever. It is in your very skin. Quirrell, full of hatred, greed, and ambition, sharing his soul with Voldemort, could not touch you for this reason. It was agony to touch a person marked by something so good."”**

Lily looked at the book with a dumbstruck expression on her face, her eyes brimming with tears, as the boys eyed her in amazement.

“S-so _I_ saved him?” she asked quietly, turning to James, who nodded, “And that’s, that’s why he survived the Avada?” she asked, turning to Remus, who smiled slightly and nodded, “O-only because I sacrificed myself,” she said, and Sirius smirked.

“So it seems,” he said, beaming at her, “Well done Lil,” he winked, and a grin flashed across her face.

“Of course you’d be the one to figure out how to beat the Avada, swot,” Remus teased, and Lily chuckled breathlessly. James chuckled and pulled her onto his lap, kissing her cheek as she wrapped her arm around his neck, his arm wrapped around her waist to support her.

“Stop being so shocked,” James said, grinning at her, and she chuckled, shaking her head in amazement.

“It’s just, weird,” she said, and the boys smiled at her, “I mean, it doesn’t even seem like that big a deal, you know? Standing in front of someone you love so that they don’t get hurt,” she said.

“It is a big deal,” Sirius said quietly, “Not many people would have the courage to do that.”

“Gryffindor through and through,” James agreed, and Lily laughed, causing the boys to smile.

“Hey Lil,” Remus said, and she turned to see him grinning, “You took down Voldemort!”

“I suppose I did,” she said, removing her arm from around James’ neck and resting her head on his shoulder, “So, theoretically, Voldemort will never be able to hurt him,” she said slowly, and Sirius nodded. Suddenly, her head snapped up, and James quirked a brow at her, “What about you?” she said, looking at James, who only raised his brows, “you died attempting to keep Voldemort from Harry and I as well,” she said.

“I think that’s different,” James said, “I fought back, it doesn’t sound like you did,” he said, and Lily took in a shaky breath, leaning her head on her shoulder.

“Thank you for dying for me in advance,” she said, and James chuckled, kissing her forehead, as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Anytime, love,” he said, and she grabbed his free hand in both of hers.

**“Dumbledore now became very interested in a bird out on the windowsill, which gave Harry time to dry his eyes on the sheet.”**

The four of them laughed lightly at the sentence.

“I’m forever going to love the way this kid describes things,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head fondly.

**“When he had found his voice again, Harry said, "And the Invisibility Cloak — do you know who sent it to me?"”**

“Oh Harry, how could you have not figured this out already?” Remus sighed, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“He’s never seen his handwriting before, okay? Stop being so mean,” she sniffed, and Remus smirked at her.

“Aren’t the Hogwarts letters in Dumbledore’s script?” he asked, and Lily gaped as James and Sirius chuckled.

“I wonder how he does those, actually,” Lily mused after the laughter had died down, “How can he write all of those?”

“Use your brain Lil,” James chuckled, “He probably just copies all the letters and changes the names _with his wand_ ,” he said, and Lily flushed as the boys sniggered.

“It’s the muggle in her,” Remus said, and Lily nodded sadly as the boys laughed.

**“"Ah — your father happened to leave it in my possession, and I thought you might like it." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.** **"Useful things . . . your father used it mainly for sneaking off to the kitchens to steal food when he was here."”**

“He knows about that?” James laughed, as the other three snickered.

“Dumbledore knows all,” Lily said, patting his cheek and he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You sneak here without me?” Sirius squawked, and James smirked slightly as Remus and Lily laughed, “ _Prongs_!”

“I eat when I can’t sleep!” James squawked, and Sirius glared at him.

“Oh come now, Sirius,” Lily giggled, “You can’t expect him to wake you up, or am I the only one who remembers this morning?” she teased, and Sirius flushed as Remus sniggered and James grinned at her

“Thanks,” he whispered, and she giggled, shoving him lightly with her shoulder.

“You know what I don’t get?” Remus asked, and they turned to him, “Why did you leave it with Dumbledore? I mean, why would he need it?” the other three looked at each other, before shrugging at Remus.

“There must have been a legitimate reason,” Lily reasoned, “Dumbledore wouldn’t ask for the cloak for nothing.”

“Maybe he needed it on a secret mission or something?” James suggested, and Remus sighed, a frown on his face.

“It doesn’t add up though,” Remus said, “he could have just used a charm or something.”

“But the cloak cant be summoned or anything, I guess it’s easier, and you can fit more than one person under it,” Sirius said, and Remus sighed, nodding.

“I guess you’re right,” he said.

**““And there's something else . . ."**

**"Fire away."**

**"Quirrell said Snape —"**

**"Professor Snape, Harry."**

**"Yes, him —”**

The three boys sniggered as Lily shook her head, amused, “This boy is so cheeky,” she sighed.

“He gets it from you,” Remus said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the others laughed.

“Really? I’d say Prongs is more cheeky,” Sirius said, winking at James, who adopted an affronted expression causing Lily and Remus to laugh.

“I have to agree with Sirius,” Lily said, “He’s far cheekier, or do you not remember the past few years?” she asked and James gave her waist a playful squeeze, causing her to squeal.

“That’s not very chivalrous of you,” James growled, and Lily squirmed in his arms, laughing, as he squeezed her again.

“I don’t have to be chivalrous! You’re the male!” she squealed, and James guffawed.

“That’s not a very becoming thing for a feminist to say,” he teased, and Lily grinned at him.

“I’m a selective feminist,” she quipped

“Of course you are,” James said, nodding his head slowly, grinning at her, as Sirius and Remus snickered.

**“Quirrell said he hates me because he hated my father. Is that true?"”**

“Yes,” James said simply, and the others laughed, Lily slapping him affectionately on the arm wrapped around her waist.

“Behave,” she said, and he grinned at her.

“No promises,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly as the other two sniggered.

“Love, his mothers been trying to get him to do so for years,” Remus said, and Lily sighed dejectedly as James flushed and Sirius snickered.

“Although I would say Evans here has more power over him than his mother,” Sirius said, and Remus nodded as James turned even redder and Lily smirked.

“Stop talking about my mum,” James mumbled, and Lily giggled, pressing a light kiss to his red cheek as his friends snickered.

“Stop being such a mummy’s boy,” Sirius shot back.

“I think it’s cute!” Lily said, pinching James’ cheek.

“See? It’s cute,” James preened, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as Sirius smirked at James and Remus sniggered.

**“"Well, they did rather detest each other. Not unlike yourself and Mr. Malfoy. And then, your father did something Snape could never forgive."”**

“Marry Lily,” Sirius said quickly, and Lily flushed.

“But he hates him _now_ ,” Lily said awkwardly, and the boys sniggered, James pecking her cheek in amusement.

“Your awkwardness is so endearing,” James said, and Lily shoved him as Remus and Sirius.

“It couldn’t have been that though,” Lily said, ignoring James, who only grinned wider, “Because, as I said before I was so rudely interrupted,” she said, shooting James a nasty look, “he hates him now.”

“He’s always hated me,” James shrugged, “It’s like Harry and Malfoy, as Dumbledore just stated. Mutual dislike,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“But what did you do that he could ‘never forgive’?,” she asked, making quotation marks in the air, and James shrugged.

“I think Sirius was right,” Remus said, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at Lily, who reciprocated the gesture, “You two are incredibly mature,” he snorted, and both Lily and Sirius stuck their tongues out at him, causing James to guffaw, “Yes, yes, children, let’s just figure out what James has done wrong,” he said, and James stopped laughing as Remus smirked at him and the other two snickered.

**“"What?"**

**"He saved his life."”**

“Oh,” James said in a matter of fact tone. Lily’s eyes widened, and the three boys exchanged uneasy glances, unsure if it was time for Lily to be made aware of Remus’ situation.

“That was _true_?” she gasped, turning to look James in the eye, and he balked at her.

“Y-you knew?” he asked, and Lily nodded furiously

“I heard the rumours! That you saved him from something,” she said, and Remus coughed uncomfortably, “It was either the Whomping Willow or something to do with the Shrieking Shack,” she said.

“You don’t know the whole story?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head.

“I’m not going to ask,” she said, holding her hands up defensively as the boys continued to watch her, “I figure it’s too private to tell me, given you haven’t started gloating,” she said, shooting James a cheeky smile, and he unfroze, a grin spreading across his face, “Explains why he was so angry those couple weeks,” she mused and the boys chuckled.

“In his defense, if it were reversed I’d hate him even more as well,” James said, and Lily snorted, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“You men and your insane logic,” she sighed, and the boys grinned.

“Endearing, isn’t it?” James said, and Lily snorted, shaking her head in amusement.

**“"What?"”**

“Does he not know any other words?” Sirius asked, exasperated, and Lily shot him a withering look as the other two laughed.

“Stop being so mean to my baby,” she sniffed.

“You’d think, as your offspring, he’d have a ridiculously extensive vocabulary,” Remus said, and Lily pouted.

“It’s a pity, really,” she sniffed, clutching her chest as if he’d wounded her, causing the three boys to chuckle.

**“"Yes . . ." said Dumbledore dreamily. "Funny, the way people's minds work, isn't it? Professor Snape couldn't bear being in your father's debt. . . . I do believe he worked so hard to protect you this year because he felt that would make him and your father even. Then he could go back to hating your father's memory in peace. . . ."”**

“Oh, so that’s why he did it,” Lily said bitterly, crossing her arms, “selfish bastard.”

“I doubt it was all because of that,” Sirius started, but Lily scoffed.

“Please Sirius,” she said, “Don’t even try to defend him. It’s unnatural,” she said, and Sirius smirked at her.

“You know me so well,” he winked, and Lily giggled, shaking her head fondly.

“You’re all insane,” she said simply, and both James and Remus spluttered.

“What did I do?” James asked, but Remus waved a hand in his direction, as of waving him off.

“He’s done a lot, but what did _I_ do?” Remus asked, and James scowled at him as Sirius and Lily snickered

“You’re the campaign manager for be mean to Lily day,” she shrugged, and Remus huffed, crossing his arms as James sniggered, “Oh don’t even get me started on you,” she said to James, who stopped laughing immediately, causing Sirius to guffaw.

“I like how Dumbledore said that,” Sirius snickered, “hating his memory in peace,” he snickered, and Lily shook her head as the other two joined in his snickering.

“Why is it funny that someone is hating on you after you die?” Lily asked James, exasperated.

“Because it’s Snape,” he said simply, as if that were enough of an explanation, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed again.

**“Harry tried to understand this but it made his head pound, so he stopped.”**

“Yes, thank you, they’re all idiots,” Lily said, and the boys gasped.

“Harry!” James gasped, “Whose side are you on?”

“He’s probably a mummy’s boy like his father,” Sirius said casually, and James stuck his tongue out at him as Lily and Remus laughed

“You’re more of a mummy’s boy to my mother than I am,” James shot back, and Sirius smirked at his weak defense as Lily and Remus continued to laugh.

**“"And sir, there's one more thing . . ."**

**"Just the one?"”**

“Oh Merlin I’d have millions of questions,” Lily laughed, shaking her head in exasperation.

“Merlin Lil, how can you live with yourself, not having the answers to these millions of questions,” Sirius gasped, and the other two sniggered.

“I find comfort in the fact that I have more answers than most,” she said, winking at Sirius, whose jaw dropped as Remus and James burst out laughing.

“Are you insinuating that I’m daft?” Sirius gasped, and Lily blinked at him.

“Never!” she gasped, and he rolled his eyes, fighting laughter as she grinned cheekily at him.

**“"How did I get the Stone out of the mirror?"”**

“Oh thank Merlin,” Remus groaned, dropping his head in relief, “I was going mad.”

“You swots are so disappointing today,” Sirius said, shaking his head disapprovingly, “Not knowing answers, asking so many questions. Your standards are falling.”

“Fuck you,” Remus said, shoving Sirius in the shoulder as the boy snickered.

**“"Ah, now, I'm glad you asked me that. It was one of my more brilliant ideas, and between you and me, that's saying something. You see, only one who wanted to find the Stone — find it, but not use it — would be able to get it, otherwise they'd just see themselves making gold or drinking Elixir of Life.** **My brain surprises even me sometimes.”**

“I was right!” Lily squealed, and the boys shot her bewildered looks.

“I would have remembered if you’d said anything along those lines,” James said, and Remus smirked at him.

“Because you remember everything Lily says, right?” he said, and James shot him a scathing look as Sirius and Lily laughed.

“Bugger off,” James grumbled, hiding his face in Lily’s shoulder.

“Stop teasing the poor boy,” she laughed, patting James’ head absentmindedly, “I’m the one who said it was intentions,” she said, grinning widely, and Sirius’ jaw dropped.

“She _is_ Dumbledore’s mind twin!” he gasped, and Lily took a mock bow, causing Remus to laugh.

“I told you I was brilliant,” she shrugged, and James snorted, raising his head from her shoulder.

“I cannot believe you’ve been calling _me_ conceited all these years,” he said, and Lily beamed at him, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips. He put his hand behind her head and held her there, twisting his head to the side to deepen the kiss.

“OI!” Sirius yelled, amused, and Lily giggled, prying James’ hand off the back of her head.

“You ought to get off my lap,” James said in a strained voice, and Lily smirked, sliding off his lap as Sirius and Remus sniggered madly.

“Why don’t we read?” Lily suggested, and the boys nodded, James gripping tightly to his knees to get his head, both of them, back in line. Sirius smirked at his best friend, who dropped his head onto the tabletop. Lily covered a giggle with a well-timed cough, and James shot his hand out to shove her, causing her to giggle harder.

“This is far too awkward a situation for me to handle,” Remus said, hiding his face in his hands, and both Lily and Sirius laughed.

“I’m sure James would laugh, but he’s a bit busy,” Lily said, and James glared at her as the other two sniggered.

“It’s your fault,” he grumbled, and Lily shrugged.

“Your body,” she said, and Sirius sniggered.

“Your body’s fault,” he said, and Lily winked at him as Remus laughed and James let out an uneasy groan, “he just needs to focus on something else,” Sirius said, and James nodded viciously, causing Sirius to smirk, “Quick, give me something that’s a turn off,” he said, turning to Remus, who spluttered.

“I don’t know what turns you two on!” Remus squeaked.

“Understandable, their brains make no sense,” Lily said, and Sirius smirked.

“You insinuating that James getting turned on by you makes no sense?” he asked, and Lily flushed.

“Yes, actually,” she said, rolling her eyes, “Have you _seen_ what his fan club wears around him?” she asked, and James smirked as the other two sniggered, “I’m dressed almost nun-like in comparison to them,” she snorted, and the boys sniggered harder, “Oh grow up, you know I’m right,” she said, her face flushing in embarrassment.

“So obviously him being turned on makes no sense,” Remus said, and Lily nodded, her eyes wide.

“ _Yes!_ ” she said exasperatedly, and the boys smirked, “Oh fuck you lot, I need some females around,” she grumbled, crossing her arms moodily, and the boys burst out laughing

“It is way too entertaining to have a bird around, why didn’t we think of this before?” Sirius snickered.

“Get another one and I’ll consider spending more time with you,” Lily sniffed, and the boys laughed.

“Very diplomatic of you,” Remus said, and Lily nodded her head in acknowledgement, causing the boys to chuckle, James putting his arm around her shoulders.

“Fixed your problem there, did you?” Sirius teased, and James stuck his tongue out at him Sirius.

“Not quite,” Lily said, throwing James’ arm off her shoulders as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“Oh come on Lil, I can’t help it,” James whined, and she rolled her eyes.

“Think of your parents having wild, nasty, dangerous, Auror sex,” she said, grinning cheekily, and James expression morphed into one of disgust.

“It’s gone,” he said bitterly, his nose scrunched and Lily giggled, leaning her head on his shoulder as the other two roared with laughter, “You’re disgusting. Disturbed in the head,” he said, and Lily giggled.

“Is that why I turned you on?” she asked innocently, and he shoved her playfully as she continued to giggle and the other two laughed.

**“…Now, enough questions. I suggest you make a start on these sweets.”**

“And now Remus has an erection,” Sirius said, and Remus spluttered as Lily and James burst out laughing.

“I most certainly do not,” Remus said, and Sirius smirked.

“He probably doesn’t even know what an erection is,” he said, and James snickered as Remus glared at the two of them.

“You both know that’s not true,” Remus huffed, and Lily smirked at him as the other two flushed.

“You lot must be a lot closer than I thought,” she said in an amused tone.

“We’re not gay,” James said, and she quirked a brow at him, smirking.

“I said nothing of the sort,” she said, grinning cheekily, “You mentioned that all by yourself. Hiding something are you?” she asked, and the three boys glared at her, “It’s so much fun when I manage to irritate all of you at the same time,” she said happily, and the boys rolled their eyes, fighting smiles, as Lily grinned around at them, “If it helps, Remus, I’m sure you have had an erection at some point,” she said, “Or was it someone else I found in the broom closet a couple weeks before term ended?”

“NO!”

“Lily!” Remus hissed, as the other two smirked at him.

“Who was she?” Sirius asked, wagging his brows.

“Remus, you dog,” James winked, and Lily shoved him.

“Oh leave him alone,” she said, taking pity on the blushing boy, “Everyone does it.”

“Everyone else tells their friends,” James pointed out, as Sirius nudged Remus with his shoulder.

“Come on mate, who was she?” Sirius asked, and Remus groaned.

“He’s not one to kiss and tell. It’s gentlemanly,” Lily said, and Remus sent her a grateful smile, “Besides, I don’t think Liz Turnbaum wanted a serious relationship,” she added, grinning devilishly at Remus, whose jaw dropped as his friends whooped.

“I _love_ you,” James said, kissing Lily on the cheek, and she rolled her eyes amusedly, a slight blush gracing her features, “fucking _love_ you, have I told you that lately? _Love_ you,” he said, kissing her again, and she giggled, shoving his face away from hers.

“Liz Turnbaum, from Ravenclaw?” Sirius smirked, nudging Remus, who’d dropped his head into his hands, “The fifth year?”

“The prefect he was meant to be on rounds with,” Lily confirmed, smirking, and Remus groaned again as the other two sniggered, “Being a prefect myself I had to do something,” she shrugged, and Sirius smirked.

“And of course once you found it was Remus…” he said, and Lily smirked.

“It never hurts to have blackmail worthy information,” she said innocently, and Remus glared at her.

“Why was that necessary in this situation?” he asked, and Lily winked.

“It’s be mean to Lily day,” she shrugged, and Remus huffed, dropping his head again as the other two snickered, “I told you, I’m not going to-”

“Yes, yes, you minx, we get it,” James chuckled, grinning down at Lily, “We obviously had no idea who we were messing with,” he said, and Lily nodded once, grinning.

“Liz Turnbaum?” Sirius sniggered again, nudging Remus, who glared at Lily, “I’ve heard she’s quite the snog Moony, how was she? Didn’t catch a disease or anything didja? She’s got quite the reputation.”

“I hope you rot in hell,” Remus growled at Lily, who beamed at him.

“It’s more exciting down there,” she shrugged, “And I look far better in black than white, it’s slimming, you see,” she said, and Remus’ lip twitched in amusement as the other two laughed.

“Liz Turnbaum,” Sirius sniggered, and Remus groaned as Lily and James burst out laughing, “Oh Moony, you wild animal.”

“It was a one time thing,” Remus said, rubbing his temples with his fingertips.

“Do you miss her?” James teased, and Remus glared at him as the other two sniggered.

“I should hope not,” Lily said, shuddering, “She’s got the IQ of a pumpkin,” she said, and the three boys laughed, “Please tell me you have better taste than that.”

“I do,” Remus insisted.

“He was just horny, and she was hot, and there,” James added, and Remus stuck his middle finger up at him as the other two laughed.

**“Ah! Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one,”**

Lily shuddered and the boys laughed.

“Come across one, have you Evans?” Sirius teased, and Lily nodded, shuddering once more.

“First one I ever tried. It took Dorcas a lot of convincing to get me to have another one,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Would you say that’s the worst one you’ve ever had?” James asked, and Lily nodded.

“I’m very careful now,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“My worst was ear wax,” Sirius said, and James sniggered.

“Couldn’t have been worse than Wormtail,” he said, and the other two sniggered.

“What? What happened?” Lily asked curiously.

“Thing about Pete is he doesn’t look to see what he’s eating,” Remus explained, “He was just snacking and put the pepper one in his mouth, and bit down,” he said, and Lily shuddered, her eyes closing.

“That poor boy,” she said, and the other three sniggered, nodding their heads.

**“and since then I'm afraid I've rather lost my liking for them — but I think I'll be safe with a nice toffee, don't you?"”**

“Always,” James said.

“Please, they’re talking about Bertie Bott’s,” Lily snorted, “It’s never safe.”

“Very dangerous snack food, isn’t it?” Sirius laughed, and Lily giggled, nodding.

“The food of Aurors,” she said, and James rolled his eyes as Sirius, Lily and Remus laughed.

“I’ll have you know my parents eat eggs,” he sniffed, and Remus smirked.

“Off of each other, or…” he teased, and James’ expression contorted once more.

“YOU SICK FUCK!” he yelled, throwing his spoon at Remus as the other three laughed at him.

“Well James, you’re gone for the majority of the year, and they have a lot of alone time,” Lily said, and James pressed his hand over her mouth so she couldn’t speak, causing her to giggle.

“We’re just making sure your erection doesn’t come back, mate,” Sirius said, smirking, “It’s what best mates do.”

“I don’t want it to _never_ come back,” James grumbled, and Lily flushed as the other two howled with laughter.

**“He smiled and popped the golden-brown bean into his mouth. Then he choked and said, "Alas! Ear wax!"”**

“Oh the poor man,” Sirius groaned, hiding his face, and the others laughed.

“He should really make sure he smells the toffee before popping it into his mouth,” Lily said wisely, and the boys quirked their brows at her, “What? They all smell different!”

“Do they?” James mused, a thoughtful expression on his face, “are you sure?”

“Of course I am, I trained myself not to eat some,” she said, and the boys sniggered.

“Oh you guys are going to love this,” Sirius sniggered, and they quirked their brows at him.

**“oOo”**

“I hope that’s the last one,” Lily groaned, hiding her face in her hands as James and Remus howled with laughter.

“That, was the best one yet,” James wheezed, leaning across the table to hi-five his best mate.

“Do this, mate, and Liz Turnbaum will forever be yours,” Sirius said, winking at Remus, who whacked Sirius on the back of the head as Lily and James laughed.

**“Madam Pomfrey, the nurse, was a nice woman, but very strict.”**

“Now that’s the understatement of the century,” James said, and the others laughed, nodding in agreement.

“I don’t understand how someone who spends her life healing people can be so mean,” Lily laughed, shaking her head in amusement, “She’s always so rude to Dorcas when she goes up there.”

“Meadowes?” Sirius asked, and Lily nodded.

“She gets all these Quidditch injuries,” she said, shooting James a pointed look, to which he simply grinned at her, “And Pomfrey always says ‘what have you done now, silly girl’,” Lily said in a dead on imitation of Madam Pomfrey’s nasty tone, causing the boys to laugh.

“Dorcas your best mate, Lil?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head.

“Alice is,” she said, “I’m sure the howler I got showed you that,” she said, and Sirius smirked at her as the other two laughed, “Dorcas is Marlene’s best mate,” she said, and James snorted.

“Female politics,” he said, and Lily shoved him playfully as the other two laughed.

**“"Just five minutes," Harry pleaded.**

**"Absolutely not."”**

“Oh Harry it won’t work,” James laughed, shaking his head fondly.

“We can never get in when he’s injured,” Sirius said, nodding in agreement, shooting James a nasty look, “It’d be a lot easier if he wasn’t so bloody noble.”

“What?” James squeaked, as his friends glared at him.

“I’m sorry, am I the only one who remembers the broken arm of fifth year?” Sirius asked, and James gaped.

“That was different!”

“You should’ve let _me_ take the damn bludger!” Sirius squawked, “Instead of bloody flying in front of me!”

“I remember that,” Lily said, grinning, “I thought it was sweet! I hated myself for thinking it, but I did,” she added, and James grinned as the other two snickered.

“I’m sorry if I care,” James huffed, and Sirius rolled his eyes at James.

“Idiot,” Sirius said, and James smirked back at him.

“Boys are so weird,” Lily mumbled, and the boys shot her amused looks.

**“"You let Professor Dumbledore in. . . ."**

**"Well, of course, that was the headmaster, quite different. You need rest."”**

“It was worth a shot,” Remus chuckled, and Lily laughed.

“These double standards,” Lily said, shaking her head, and the boys laughed, James putting ruffling her hair.

“Think she’d let you in? Being Dumbledore’s mind twin and all,” James teased, and the other two boys snickered.

“She _should_ ,” Lily sniffed, “If it weren’t for me Voldemort wouldn’t have fallen,” she said, and James shook his head amusedly, tugging on one of her red locks playfully.

“Don’t let your head inflate,” he said, and Lily shot him a sarcastic look as the other two laughed.

**“"I am resting, look, lying down and everything. Oh, go on, Madam Pomfrey…"”**

“Cheeky,” Lily said, clucking her tongue, as the boys howled with laughter.

“Oh Merlin, he’s hilarious,” James laughed, “I always say I’m resting, but I’ve never had the nerve to say the rest of it!”

“It won’t help,” Remus snorted, “Pomfrey’s a hard one,” he said, and Sirius nodded in agreement.

**“"Oh, very well," she said. "But five minutes only."”**

“WHAT?” James laughed, as the other three broke down in fits of laughter, “It actually _worked_?”

“Remember to say that next time,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted.

“It won’t work, she knows you too well,” she said, grinning at James, who pouted at her.

“Are you saying her knowing me is disadvantageous?” he asked, “That people knowing me won’t help anything?”

“If anything, it will ruin everything,” she said, nodding, and James turned to his friends, pouting, causing them to laugh.

“Not to forget, this is Harry Potter, the boy who lived,” Remus said, grinning at his still-pouting best mate, who’d gone back to pouting at Lily, who was trying not to laugh.

“She’s probably just mourning your loss, and being nice to your son,” Lily said to James, who stopped pouting immediately, causing her to roll her eyes fondly as Sirius and Remus smirked.

**“And she let Ron and Hermione in.”**

Lily squealed happily, and the boys turned to her, alarmed, “Oh my goodness! I’m so happy!” she said happily, slapping James in the arm, causing him to throw Remus a bewildered look, “Oh Merlin they’re okay, and they’ve come to visit Harry,” she said happily, grinning widely at James, who quirked a brow at her, smirking.

“She’s lost it,” Sirius said wisely, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Remus laughed.

“I’m happy they’re there,” she said, and James smirked.

“I would’ve never guessed,” he said, and Lily shoved him, causing him to chuckle and ruffle her hair as the other two sniggered.

**"Harry!"** **Hermione looked ready to fling her arms around him again, but Harry was glad she held herself in as his head was still very sore.”**

“What is up with his head?” Remus asked, an exasperated smile on his face, as the other three chuckled.

“His head’s fine, he’s just nervous about being hugged by girls,” Lily said, and the boys sniggered, “Oh shove off, you lot were the same, or was it not you, Sirius, who almost sprinted away from Hestia Jones when she kissed you on the cheek?”

“I regret that every day,” Sirius sighed, and the others laughed.

**“"Oh, Harry, we were sure you were going to — Dumbledore was so worried"**

**"The whole school's talking about it," said Ron. "What really happened?"”**

“So sure he was going to what? Die?” Lily asked, and James shrugged.

“Sounds like it,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Dumbledore couldn’t have been worried all three days,” she said, and Sirius shrugged.

“He probably wasn’t,” he said, “But I’m guessing everyone else was,” he said, and Lily sighed, nodding.

“I love how sensitive Ron is,” Remus snorted, and Sirius shot him a nasty look.

“No knocking my minion,” he said, and Remus rolled his eyes as James and Lily laughed.

“Honestly Remus, we’d all have asked the same question,” Lily said, and James grinned at her.

“I thought you were Mrs. Sensitivity?” he teased, and Lily nudged him, causing him to laugh.

“I am, but he’s fine now,” she shrugged, “I’ve got morbid curiosity,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

**“It was one of those rare occasions when the true story is even more strange and exciting than the wild rumors.”**

“Oh I love when that happens,” Sirius snickered, and the boys laughed.

“Kind of like how the two of you got together,” Remus said, and Lily and James looked at each other as Sirius burst out laughing.

“I suppose that’s true,” Lily said, giggling, “Pretty crap story isn’t it? No dramatics involved.”

“I’d say reading about the future is dramatic,” James snorted, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Not what I meant,” she said, and Remus smirked.

“Not romance novel worthy, is it?” he teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as James and Sirius smirked, “No dramatic declarations of love-”

“I beg to differ,” James said, and Lily flushed as the other two burst out laughing.

“Okay Lil, there were those,” Remus said, and Lily rolled her eyes, smiling, “But there was no dramatic you running into his arms crying, no heart wrenching love triangle, no snogging so passionately the world could’ve broken into war and you wouldn’t have noticed,” he said, and Lily flushed, sticking her middle finger up at him as James and Sirius continued to cackle like the mad men they truly were.

“I can arrange all that if you’d like,” James teased, and Lily glared at him.

“Stop teasing me,” she said to Remus, and he smirked at her, “all girls like to read romance novels.”

“I wonder what kind of wild rumours are going to spread about you two,” Sirius sniggered, “On how you got together.”

“The majority of girls are going to think I slipped him a love potion,” Lily grumbled, and the boys sniggered, James grinning down at her.

“You are pretty good at potions,” James said, and Lily shoved him as the other two laughed.

“I’d say they’d believe it to be the other way around,” Remus mused, and Lily grinned as James narrowed his eyes at Remus, “Merlin knows the whole school knows you’ve been after her for years.”

“They also know I wouldn’t stoop that low,” a blushing James retorted, and Lily giggled.

“That is true,” she said, and Remus shot her a sardonic look as James beamed at her.

“Who knows, maybe they’ll make it sound like a romance novel,” Sirius teased, and Lily rolled her eyes, smirking.

“Oh yes, they’ll all believe James told me that he was finally over me, and that my eyes started watering with regret and I spent many a night lying awake, wondering why I was so stupid, and then we saw each other in the Common Room and I threw myself in his arms and begged him to love me,” Lily said, and the boys burst out laughing after a moments silence.

“And then you snogged passionately, of course,” Remus said, and Lily laughed, leaning on James’ shoulder.

“Of course,” she said, rolling her eyes, and James chuckled, ruffling her hair affectionately as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“Harry told them everything: Quirrell; the mirror; the Stone; and Voldemort. Ron and Hermione were a very good audience; they gasped in all the right places, and when Harry told them what was under Quirrell's turban, Hermione screamed out loud.”**

“Goodness, what an overreaction,” Sirius snorted, and Lily shot him an exasperated look as the others laughed.

“It’s Voldemort,” she said.

“It’s a _story_ ,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes amusedly as the other two snickered, “I’d say it’s worth a gasp, or even a splutter, but not a bloody scream. You ovaries are a crazy bunch,” he said, and Lily gasped as the other two burst out laughing.

“Oi! Don’t discriminate and generalize based on body parts,” she said, crossing her arms, and the boys grinned at her, “I cant help that I have ovaries,” she sniffed, and the boys sniggered

“Sorry Lily,” Sirius said mockingly, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him as James and Remus laughed.

**“"So the Stone's gone?" said Ron finally. "Flamel's just going to die?"”**

“Why does everyone suddenly care so much about Flamel?” James asked, exasperatedly, and Sirius smirked.

“Don’t say things like that about Lily’s true love!” Sirius retorted, and James rolled his eyes as Remus laughed and Lily pouted.

“I cannot believe you’re knocking on my Nicholas,” she sniffed, and James smirked as Sirius and Remus laughed.

“My sincerest apologies, love,” James drawled, and Lily giggled.

**“"That's what I said, but Dumbledore thinks that — what was it? — 'to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.'"**

**"I always said he was off his rocker," said Ron, looking quite impressed at how crazy his hero was.”**

“Looks like he has your memory,” Sirius said to Lily, who laughed.

“I have a good memory!” James said, and Remus smirked.

“True, but you don’t remember phrases like she does,” he said, and James pouted.

“Lily everyone’s being mean to me,” he said, and Lily quirked a brow at him.

“They’re complimenting _me_ , why do you think I’ll defend you?” she asked, and he shoved her playfully as she grinned cheekily up at him and Sirius and Remus laughed.

“I love how everyone always says Dumbledore’s off his rocker,” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head fondly.

“He is a tad mad,” Lily giggled.

“Since you’re mind twins, does that make you a tad mad as well?” James shot back, and Lily shot him an incredulously amused look as Remus and Sirius sniggered.

“Someone’s bitter about me not defending him,” she said, and James huffed.

“The least you could do is say my memory is good too,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“Your memory is great James,” she said, and he nodded stiffly, causing her to collapse in a fit of giggles.

**“"So what happened to you two?" said Harry.”**

“Finally,” Lily sighed, and the boys laughed.

“Someone’s getting maternal,” Sirius sung, and Lily kicked his leg under the table, causing him to bark out a laugh, “Careful Evans, wouldn’t want Prongs getting jealous of you playing footsie with me.”

“Oh fuck off,” Lily laughed, as James rolled his eyes amusedly.

**“"Well, I got back all right," said Hermione. "I brought Ron round — that took a while — and we were dashing up to the Owlery to contact Dumbledore when we met him in the entrance hall — he already knew — he just said, 'Harry's gone after him, hasn't he?' and hurtled off to the third floor."”**

“How does he know everything?” Lily squeaked, and the boys laughed.

“Because he’s Dumbledore,” Remus said, and Lily groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

“His brilliance is intimidating,” she said, and the boys laughed, James pulling her into a one armed hug.

“I cant imagine how frightening it must be for a first year to bump into Dumbledore and for him to just ask them a question and hurtle off,” Sirius snickered, “It’d be in the top ten most bizarre things ever.”

“I think Harry’s top ten are full,” Lily grumbled, and the boys chuckled.

**“"D'you think he meant you to do it?" said Ron. "Sending you your fathers cloak and everything?"”**

“I should hope not, it’s far too dangerous,” Lily said, aghast, “Dumbledore wouldn’t do that would he?”

“I’m guessing he’d want him to figure it out, but I don’t think he’d purposely plan for Harry to almost kill himself, no,” Remus said, and Lily sighed, nodding.

“Okay because if that was his intention I would kick his arse when we see him later,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“You’re a talented witch, love, but even you can’t beat Dumbledore,” Sirius sniggered, and Lily smirked

“Verbally, you idiots. I’m not daft enough to attempt to take on Dumbledore,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Particularly after the Grindelwald duel,” Remus said, and Lily nodded vigorously

“I’ve always wanted to ask him about that,” Lily said, her eyes wide with excitement, “There are so many questions I have for him!”

“I’m sure you do love, but right now let’s focus on Harry, yeah?” James said, and Lily sighed dejectedly, causing him to chuckle.

**“"Well," Hermione exploded, "if he did — I mean to say — that's terrible — you could have been killed."”**

“Yes, thank you,” Lily said, and the boys chuckled.

“Like Lily, like minion,” Sirius said, and Lily winked at him, causing him to chuckle and turn back to the book.

**“"No, it isn't," said Harry thoughtfully. "He's a funny man, Dumbledore. I think he sort of wanted to give me a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. I don't think it was an accident he let me find out how the mirror worked. It's almost like he thought I had the right to face Voldemort if I could..."”**

“Stop being so brilliant,” Remus groaned, and the others laughed.

“He does have a right to face Voldemort,” Lily sighed, nodding her head, “More than most. Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” she added bitterly, and the boys laughed.

“I appreciate that Dumbledore wanted to give him a chance,” James said, “It’s very…Dumbledore of him,” he said, and the others laughed, “No joke though,” he said, grinning slightly, “It was good of him to believe in Harry and give him a chance,” he said, and Lily smiled.

“Okay, I won’t kick his arse then,” she sighed, and the boys burst out laughing.

**“"Yeah, Dumbledore's off his rocker, all right," said Ron proudly.”**

The four of them burst out laughing at this.

“Oh I feel so proud of him right now,” Sirius snickered, and Lily shook her head fondly.

**“"Listen, you've got to be up for the end-of-year feast tomorrow. The points are all in and Slytherin won, of course — you missed the last Quidditch match, we were steamrollered by Ravenclaw without you”**

Sirius and James groaned at this.

“Quidditch or the House Cup?” Lily asked Remus, who snickered and shrugged.

“My bet’s on the House Cup,” eh said, and Lily sighed, nodding.

“Mine as well,” she said, “They’d probably be delighted that Harry was so necessary in a Quidditch Match,” she said, rolling her eyes and Remus smirked.

“I cannot believe Slytherin won _again_ ,” James groaned, and Sirius looked up at him.

“I cannot believe Gryffindor lost at Quidditch!” he said, and Lily’s eyebrows shot up, and she exchanged a look of mingled shock and amusement with Remus, who smirked at Sirius.

“So it doesn’t matter to you that Slytherin won the house cup once again?” he asked, and Sirius grumbled

“Of course it does! But honestly, if they could beat Slytherin why couldn’t they beat Ravenclaw?”

“You can’t win without a seeker,” Lily pointed out, and James shrugged.

“If you get enough points you can,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius and Remus smirked.

“See? They could have won,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“Okay, oh wise one,” she said, giving Sirius a mock-bow, causing James and Remus to laugh.

**“— but the food'll be good."”**

“Undoubtedly,” Remus said, and Sirius groaned, dropping his hand to his stomach.

“I’m hungry again,” he pouted, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered.

“We’ve got a bloody tub of ice cream here,” she said, and Sirius sighed.

“But I want real food,” he whined, “Like, rice or something.”

“I’m surprised you’re not fatter,” Lily said, and Sirius shot her a cheeky grin as the other two laughed.

“Jealous?” he teased, and Lily nodded

“Oh yeah,” she said, and the boys laughed, “I hate that some people can overeat as much as they want and never gain any weight. I was never blessed with those genes,” she sighed, and James chuckled.

“Then how’d you manage to stay so small?” he teased, and Lily shrugged.

“I don’t eat unnecessarily,” she said, and Sirius winked at her as the other two laughed.

**“At that moment, Madam Pomfrey bustled over.”**

“Oh good luck,” Sirius laughed, “I bet it’s been more than five minutes.”

“She may go a tad ballistic,” Remus said, and the others laughed.

**“"You've had nearly fifteen minutes, now OUT," she said firmly.”**

“Told you,” Remus sung under his breath, and the others laughed.

“You’d think she’d be much nicer to sick people and allow them time with their friends,” Lily sniffed, and James snorted.

“Apparently chatting is too much exertion for one recovering,” he said, and the others laughed.

**“oOo”**

“Oh Merlin not again,” Lily grumbled as James and Remus sniggered.

“Flawless Opera, mate,” James said, and Sirius took a bow as Lily giggled and Remus rolled his eyes

“You are my idol,” Remus droned, and Sirius wiped away an imaginary tear.

“Moony, you’re just far too nice,” he said, ruffling Remus’ hair, causing him to grumble and reach up to fix it as Lily and James laughed.

“You boys are far too obsessed with your hair,” Lily giggled, and Sirius grinned.

“You would be too if yours was even half as amazing as ours,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus and James laughed.

“I would be if my hair wasn’t this god awful auburn colour,” she said, and both Sirius and Remus laughed, “I can only wear a specific set of colours.”

“I like it,” James said, and Lily smirked.

“Yes, I _know_ you do, doesn’t mean I have to,” she said, and James flushed slightly as the other two sniggered.

**“After a good night's sleep, Harry felt nearly back to normal.”**

“Tends to happen,” James chuckled.

“Unless you’re not normal to begin with,” Lily said, looking pointedly at Sirius, who gasped loudly, clutching his heart, as James and Remus sniggered.

“I am normal!” he said, “Actually, you’re right, no I’m not,” he sighed, “I’m better than normal, I’m interesting,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two laughed.

“I’m sure you’ve been told that,” she said, and Sirius pouted.

“Are you saying I’m not interesting?” he asked, and Lily smiled.

“I think you’re special Sirius,” she said in a condescending tone, and he threw Remus an exasperated look.

“I honestly cannot decide if that’s a compliment or an insult,” he said, and Remus smirked at him as Lily and James laughed.

**“"I want to go to the feast," he told Madam Pomfrey as she straightened his many candy boxes. "I can, can't I?"”**

“She better let him go to the feast!” Lily squeaked.

“She will,” James assured her, “She’s never denied anyone going to a feast. Especially the end of year feast.”

“You would know,” Remus sniggered, “You came down half-drugged in fourth year.”

“That was the most fun I’ve ever had at a feast,” Sirius declared, and James huffed, his cheeks reddening.

“You know he fell backwards off the bench so he was lying on the floor and spent a good minute looking up some Hufflepuffs skirt?” Remus said to Lily, who giggled.

“I saw him lying on the floor,” she said, “I just couldn’t be bothered to find out what you lot were doing,” she said, “Because then you’d tell me,” she finished and James pouted as the other two laughed.

“I love how Harry’s so popular that Madam Pomfrey is spending her time ‘straightening out his many candy boxes’,” Sirius said, “Goodness it’ll all go to his head!”

“And then his broom will never be able to leave the ground and he wont be able to play Quidditch anymore!” Lily gasped, and the boys burst out laughing.

“I was wondering if it was really you,” James chuckled, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the others laughed.

**“"Professor Dumbledore says you are to be allowed to go," she said sniffily, as though in her opinion Professor Dumbledore didn't realize how risky feasts could be.”**

“Risky,” Sirius snorted as the other three snickered.

“Why is this kid so cheeky?” Lily laughed, shaking her head fondly, “Where did that come from?” she asked, turning to James, who smirked.

“This coming from the queen of cheek,” James said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him, “Or is it not you who speaks to Slughorn? Do you have an identical twin?”

“I’m sure Remus would love that,” Sirius said, and Remus scowled as the other two laughed, “He’d start studying you,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as Remus huffed.

“There’s nothing wrong with finding twins fascinating,” he insisted.

“Of course there’s not,” Lily agreed, smiling sweetly at him, “We all have things that fascinate us,” she said, “Like Sirius and the female anatomy,” she said, quirking a brow at Sirius, who smirked devilishly as the other two laughed

“Will you let me study yours?” Sirius asked, and Lily shot him a nasty look as Remus sniggered and James glared at his best mate.

“No,” James said, and Sirius pouted as Lily and Remus laughed.

**““And you have another visitor."**

**"Oh, good," said Harry. "Who is it?"**

**Hagrid sidled through the door as he spoke.”**

“Oh Hagrid,” Lily sighed, smiling slightly

“What was that for?” Sirius asked, after exchanging a confused glance with James, who simply shrugged in response.

“Well obviously he’s going to feel extremely guilty,” Lily reasoned, “I mean, he did tell Quirrell how to get past Fluffy.”

“Oh Hagrid,” Sirius mimicked, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as the other two laughed.

**“As usual when he was indoors, Hagrid looked too big to be allowed. He sat down next to Harry, took one look at him, and burst into tears.”**

“Tears?” Remus gasped, his eyes wide with shock, “Like, actual tears? Wet ones? That slide down ones face after leaking out of their eyes?”

“What other tears are there?” James asked, amused, as Lily shook with restrained laughter and Sirius snickered.

“Bugger off you lot, it’s just frightening, is all,” Remus mumbled, and Sirius smirked.

“Scared of a few waterworks are we?” he teased, and Remus shoved him as Lily and James laughed.

“Waterworks I can handle,” Remus said, “But this is like…it’s like…”

“A thunderstorm,” Lily said, and Remus snapped his fingers, pointing at her.

“That’s it,” he said and Lily grinned at him, “It’s almost unnatural for Hagrid to cry!”

“But thunderstorms are natural,” James said cheekily, and Lily snorted.

“And you wonder where Harry gets the cheek from,” she sniffed, and James beamed at her.

“No love, _you_ worry where he gets the cheek from,” he corrected, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him playfully as the other two laughed.

**“"It's — all — my — ruddy — fault!" he sobbed, his face in his hands. "I told the evil git how ter get past Fluffy! I told him! It was the only thing he didn't know, an' I told him! Yeh could've died! All fer a dragon egg! I'll never drink again!** **I should be chucked out an' made ter live as a Muggle!"”**

“Yes Hagrid, it _is_ all your ruddy fault,” Sirius said simply, and Lily clucked her tongue disapprovingly.

“Are we really going to have to go back to the ‘people make mistakes’ speech?” she asked, “There are only so many times I can give it, you know,” she said, and Sirius sighed dramatically.

“I just cannot trust Hagrid with anything anymore, I’ve lost all faith in him, I cannot believe he would do this, what a jerk,” Sirius cried, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as James and Remus snickered.

“Fine, think that, I’ll just steal all his affection then,” Lily said, and Sirius gaped at her as the other two burst out laughing.

“I love this rant,” James snickered, “The amount of times I’ve heard it from various people.”

“Oh, do lots of your friends sell out information to Voldemort for dragon eggs?” Lily asked innocently, and James shoved her playfully as she giggled.

“Yes, didn’t you know about Wormtail’s dark side?” James drawled, and the other three laughed.

“I don’t think he’s capable of a dark side,” Sirius snorted, and Remus smirked.

“Don’t say that Sirius, you may jinx it!” he teased, and Sirius pretended to look around in a frightened manner, causing the others to laugh.

“I meant the ‘I’ll never drink again’ speech,” James said once the laughter had died down, and Lily laughed.

“I’ve been forced to listen to that many times as well,” she said, and Remus sniggered, “Oh shut up you idiot,” she said, and he sniggered once more.

“What?” Sirius asked, looking between the two Prefects.

“Lily’s friends are very…raunchy when they’re drunk,” Remus said and Lily shot him a scathing look.

“Unfortunately that is true,” she nodded, and the boys laughed.

“How so?” James asked, and Lily shrugged.

“Let’s just say any boy would enjoy being in Lily’s dormitory when the girls are drunk,” Remus said, and Lily grimaced, nodding her head.

“It’s never fun to the sober when that’s happening,” she said, and the boys laughed, “Just extremely awkward.”

“Now I’m going to have to sneak into your dormitory,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as the others laughed.

“Out of curiosity,” Lily said, “Hasn’t Hagrid already been kicked out and made to live as a Muggle?” she asked and the boys laughed.

“He has, but he cheated,” James said, and Lily snorted.

“Then that’s not much of a punishment for him, is it?” she asked, and the boys laughed.

“Hagrid may be an awesome person, Lil, but nobody wants to give up magic,” Remus said, and Lily clucked her tongue, a smile spreading slowly on her face.

**“"Hagrid!" said Harry, shocked to see Hagrid shaking with grief and remorse, great tears leaking down into his beard.** **"Hagrid, he'd have found out somehow, this is Voldemort we're talking about, he'd have found out even if you hadn't told him."”**

“Very rational Harry, well done,” Lily said, and the boys snorted.

“You sound so pretentious,” Sirius sniggered, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“Shut up, pervert,” she said, and Sirius smirked at her as the others laughed.

“Touché Evans, but I’m not the one who made the pretentious snobby comment,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“It catches when your boyfriend is a pretentious rich snob,” she said, and James spluttered as the other two howled with laughter.

“Why am I being attacked for no reason?” James squawked, and Lily beamed at him.

“It’s not for no reason! It’s because you’re a pretentious rich snob, obviously,” she said, and he glared down at her, causing her to giggle and kiss his cheek, “If it helps, Harry got your ridiculous ability to comfort crying people,” she said, and James scoffed.

“Lily you comfort random crying strangers all the time,” he said, and she shrugged.

“Yes but even I can’t comfort me. You win,” she said, and James rolled his eyes in amusement as the other two laughed.

“If we put it to a vote, you’d win,” James said, and Lily sighed.

“Why is this suddenly all about winning?” she asked dramatically, and the boys laughed.

“ _You_ brought it up,” James laughed.

“You have no proof,” she said simply, crossing her legs, and James sighed.

“New girlfriend please?” he asked Sirius, who snorted.

“Over this one already are you?” he asked, as Lily raised her eyebrows at James.

“Be careful how you answer, Potter. My wand and your genitals are quite close to each other at the moment,” she said, and both Sirius and Remus sniggered as James smirked down at Lily.

“You’re an idiot if you think I’ll ever be bored,” he said, and Lily flushed as the other two grinned.

**“"Yeh could've died!" sobbed Hagrid. "An' don' say the name!"”**

“Oh shut up,” Remus grumbled, and the others laughed.

“Lily you should repeat your famous Dumbledore mind twin line,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted.

“It’s lost its magic now that Dumbledore’s stolen my thunder,” she sniffed, and the boys laughed.

“Shouldn’t you be all angry that Hagrid almost killed Harry?” Remus asked, and Lily shrugged.

“He’s remorseful, Harry’s alive, no big deal,” she shrugged, and the boys shook their heads in amazement, “Not to mention the fact that I have a soft spot for Hagrid,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Because he sends you letters,” Remus said, and Lily grinned, nodding.

“Keeps me from dying of boredom and irritation around my sister over the summers,” she said, and the boys grimaced.

“We’ll come over and distract you this year,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

“My poor mother would have a coronary at the sight of three boys accompanying me home for the summer,” she laughed, and Sirius laughed.

“Four, love,” he winked, and Lily giggled.

“My father might actually shoot you all,” she said, and the boys sniggered.

“Especially James though,” Sirius said, and Lily laughed, nodding, as James pouted.

**“"VOLDEMORT!" Harry bellowed, and Hagrid was so shocked, he stopped crying.”**

“SIRIUS!” Lily hissed, kicking his shin, hard, under the table as the house elves jumped, some of them screaming out in terror.

“I was getting in character,” Sirius protested, looking over to see some house elves throwing them dirty looks, others crawling out from under the tables they’d hidden under at Voldemort’s name.

“That’s no excuse! You scared those poor house elves! Nobody screams out Voldemorts name, you absolute _idiot_ ,” Lily said, shaking her head irritably, crossing her arms as James and Remus shot Sirius irritated glares.

“Your son does,” Sirius shot back, and Lily rolled her eyes at him.

“That’s because he’s Harry Potter,” she said, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus smirked slightly.

“Double standards,” Sirius muttered, and Lily rolled her eyes

“Yes, yes your life is tragic Sirius, go pout from underneath your fringe because nobody understands you, whatever,” she said, waving her hand as James and Remus bit their lips to restrain laughter and Sirius gaped at her, “That doesn’t make your outburst excusable.”

“I move for the usual punishment!” James said, and Lily flushed as Sirius glared at him.

“No,” Sirius growled, and Lily nodded, turning to look at James.

“I agree, I refuse to witness that again…er, no offence,” she added, turning to Sirius, who rolled his eyes in amusement as James and Remus snickered.

**“"I've met him and I'm calling him by his name. Please cheer up, Hagrid, we saved the Stone, it's gone, he can't use it. Have a Chocolate Frog, I've got loads. . . ."”**

“Because chocolate frogs make everything better,” Lily snorted, and Remus nodded.

“They _do_!” he insisted, and James snickered.

“Mate, you think all kinds of chocolate make everything better,” he said, and Remus huffed, crossing his arms as the others laughed.

“They do,” Remus grumbled, and Lily giggled.

“Us females subscribe to your theory Remus, we have chocolate binge eating sessions when we’re in desperate need of comfort,” she said, and Remus shot James and Sirius a triumphant look as Lily giggled.

“Congratulations mate, you’re a woman,” Sirius said, clapping Remus on the shoulder, earning a scathing look from the boy.

**“Hagrid wiped his nose on the back of his hand and said, "That reminds me. I've got yeh a present."”**

“Oh _Hagrid_!” Lily squealed, pushing herself off of James’ shoulder to bounce in her seat excitedly, “That’s so _sweet_ of him. Oh Merlin,” she squealed, and James rolled his eyes

“Now I’m competing with Nicholas Flamel _and_ Hagrid,” he sighed, placing his hand on his heart, causing the other three to laugh, “My life is tragic.”

“Very Greek tragedy-esque,” Lily agreed, and James shot her an amused look, to which she responded with a grin, “I’d say your only real competition of the three of you is Nicholas. I can’t stand beards,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

“I doubt you’ll win against Nicholas though,” Sirius said, and Lily nodded.

“He is the master of romance,” she agreed, and James snorted as his friends laughed, “I wonder what Hagrid got Harry,” Lily said excitedly, and the boys chuckled.

“Let me read woman,” Sirius said, and Lily giggled.

“I hope it’s not food,” James grimaced, and the others laughed.

**“"It's not a stoat sandwich, is it?" said Harry anxiously, and at last Hagrid gave a weak chuckle.”**

“Like father like son,” Remus chuckled, as James stared, dumbstruck, down at the book, an amused expression on his face, and Lily and Sirius laughed, Lily having rested back on James’ shoulder

“Think Hagrids ever insulted by the pokes at his food?” Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head.

“He’s not,” she laughed, “He just thinks we’re all kidding around, so don’t let him know you’re serious.”

“But he already knows my name!” Sirius gasped, and Lily shot him a glare, her lips twitching with restrained laughter, as the other two roared with laughter.

**“"Nah. Dumbledore gave me the day off yesterday ter fix it. 'Course, he shoulda sacked me instead — anyway, got yeh this . . ."”**

“Oh stop being so hard on yourself you stupid buffoon,” Sirius grumbled, and the others laughed.

“I see you’ve gotten over your lack of faith in Hagrid,” Lily said, and Sirius sighed dramatically

“I cant help it Evans, I’m really just a softie at heart,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“The abundance of girls you’ve shagged says otherwise,” she said dryly, and Sirius winked at her as the others laughed.

“Just shows how soft I am. I can’t reject them and hurt their feelings,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“And not talking to them the next day makes you a softie, does it?” she asked, and he shrugged.

“I don’t want them to be stuck with a nuisance like me, it’s for their own good,” he said.

“How selfless,” she deadpanned, and he threw her a sly wink before turning back to the book as James and Remus snickered.

**“It seemed to be a handsome, leather-covered book.”**

“It _seemed_ to be?” Sirius snickered, “Is he unsure?”

“Leave him alone,” Lily said, as James and Remus snickered.

**“Harry opened it curiously. It was full of wizard photographs. Smiling and waving at him from every page were his mother and father.”**

“Oh,” Lily said quietly, her face a perfect picture of shock, “He…how did he…um,” she said, reaching up to place her hand delicately on top of her head, as if holding it place to stop it from spinning.

“That’s very thoughtful of him,” James said, smiling at the thought, “At least he’ll finally know what we were like.”

“ _Are_ like, James, _are_ ,” Lily said, and James smiled sheepishly as she shook her head in amusement, “I can’t believe he did that for Harry,” she said, smiling, “That’s just so considerate of him, I’m legitimately touched,” she said, her voice beginning to sound choked.

“Bet the beard’s not looking so bad now, is it?” Sirius said, and Lily burst out laughing.

“James has two competitors it seems,” she agreed, and James pouted as Remus and Sirius laughed, “Oh stop pouting you lunatic, I’m dating you aren’t I?” she said, and James beamed.

“Take that _Nicholas_ ,” he sneered, tangling his fingers with hers, and the others laughed.

**“"Sent owls off ter all yer parents' old school friends, askin' fer photos . . . knew yeh didn' have any . . . d'yeh like it?"**

**Harry couldn't speak, but Hagrid understood.”**

“Oh _Hagrid!_ ” Lily squeaked, and James rolled his eyes

“Lily, I must warn you, I’m the awful jealous sort, please stop toying with me this way,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly as Sirius and Remus snickered.

“Reckon he sent owls to us?” Remus used, and Sirius shrugged.

“We are their ‘old school friends’,” Sirius said, and Remus shrugged.

“You’d think we’d actually meet Harry,” Remus grumbled, and Sirius huffed.

“Where the fuck are we?” he grumbled, and the others shrugged helplessly.

**“oOo”**

“I fucking hope that’s the last fucking one,” Lily groaned, banging her head down on the table, “I can’t take much more of this shit.”

“Whoa, Evans, kiss your mother with that mouth, do you?” Sirius sniggered, and James gasped.

“You kissed _me_ with that mouth,” he gasped, placing his fingers on his lips, “Oh Merlin, Sirius, I’m going to catch _bad mouth_!” he gasped, and Sirius slapped his hands to either one of his cheeks in mock-shock.

“Oh _no_!” he cried, “the poor children!”

“Oh shut up, stupid tossers,” Lily chuckled, shoving James and sticking her tongue out at Sirius, both of whom laughed.

**“Harry made his way down to the end-of-year feast alone that night. He had been held up by Madam Pomfrey's fussing about, insisting on giving him one last checkup,”**

“She never fusses over me so much,” James pouted and Lily rolled her eyes

“Probably because she knows she’ll be seeing you in a few weeks anyway. No point fixing something that’s just going to break again, is there?” she said, and James pouted further as his friends laughed.

“I walk alone too,” he said sadly, pouting at Lily, who smirked.

“Pout at your two friends there, they’re the ones that leave you alone,” she said, and James turned his head to pout at Sirius and Remus, both of whom snorted.

“I’m not walking up to the bloody hospital wing _every time_ you injure yourself mate,” Sirius said, “I did it the first hundred times, now it’s just stupid,” he said, and James turned his pouting face to Lily.

“Keep doing that and your face will freeze in that ridiculous pouty face,” she said, and James stopped pouting immediately, causing his friends to snigger.

“Our wedding photos would look dreadful,” he agreed, and Lily’s jaw dropped as he grinned cheekily down at her and his friends laughed.

“ _Imaginary_ wedding photos,” Lily mumbled, embarrassed, and the boys sniggered.

**“so the Great Hall was already full.”**

“As it usually is,” Sirius said.

“Oh this should be fun,” Remus said, smirking, “The Boy Who Lived reentering after his second battle with Voldemort,” he said, and Lily groaned.

“My poor baby is going to be followed around by whispers and pointed stares,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“It builds character,” James said.

“It builds ego, is what it does,” she said, giving him a pointed stare, and he smirked at her as Sirius and Remus laughed.

**“It was decked out in the Slytherin colors of green and silver to celebrate Slytherin's winning the House Cup for the seventh year in a row.”**

“What a terrible atmosphere,” James said, scrunching up his nose, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement.

“I feel the need to throw up,” Sirius said.

“We’ll fetch your snot bucket for you,” Remus said, and Sirius scowled as Lily and James burst out laughing

“I cannot believe they’ve won seven years in a row,” James said, sounding disgusted, “I am so ashamed of Gryffindor.”

“Doth mine ears deceive me?” Lily gasped, and James chuckled as Sirius and Remus laughed, “Something negative towards Gryffindors? For _shame_ ,” she said, and James ruffled her hair playfully.

“Oh grow up, you overgrown child,” he said, and Lily giggled.

“Who has the disturbing fetish now?” she teased, and both Sirius and Remus sniggered as James looked down at her, flabbergasted.

“You don’t forget _anything,_ do you?” he asked, and Lily shook her head.

“An elephant never forgets, do they Remus?” she asked innocently, and Remus let out a tired sigh as the other two laughed.

**“A huge banner showing the Slytherin serpent covered the wall behind the High Table.”**

“Shoot fire at it,” Sirius advised, and Lily rolled her eyes

“He can’t repeat your old tricks,” she said, and the boys smirked.

“Proudest detention reason ever,” Sirius said and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as the boys hi-fived across the table, James still holding her right hand in his left.

**“When Harry walked in there was a sudden hush, and then everybody started talking loudly at once.”**

“Hogwartians and their conspicuous ways,” James chuckled as Lily’s jaw clenched in irritation, ignoring the sniggers she was receiving due to James’ use of her made up word.

“Honestly, he’s _eleven_ , this is so unfair to him,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“She’s just worried because older girls could have the hots for Harry,” Sirius said wisely, and Lily laughed.

“As long as he’s nothing like James when it comes to girls, I don’t mind,” she said, and James spluttered.

“Oi! I only followed _you,_ you nitwit,” he said, “I remained loyal and faithful.”

“But you did shag other girls,” Lily said, and James’ mouth snapped shut.

“You shagged other boys,” Remus said, and Lily shot him a warning look as James’ eyes flashed with fury, “Oh don’t give me that look, you did.”

“I’m well aware,” Lily said, and the boys laughed, James chuckling quietly.

“I should hope so,” Sirius sniggered, “Unless you have a thing for blokes with _very_ strange fetishes,” he said, and Lily laughed.

“I’m not too worried about this older girls thing,” she said, “He’s too shy to go after a girl, he probably thinks they’re gross, or am I the only one who remembers the Hermione hug?” she said, and the boys laughed.

“So embarrassing,” James moaned, “My own son, not being able to handle a hug from a girl, my poor reputation,” he said, and Lily shoved him as the other two laughed.

**“He slipped into a seat between Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor table and tried to ignore the fact that people were standing up to look at him.** **”**

“Standing up?” Lily said, scandalized, “These people are idiots! Goodness, someone should teach them the subtle art of stalking,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Did you just insult Gryffindor?” Remus gasped, and Lily rolled her eyes, her lips quirking up into a smile.

“If James can do it then I believe I’m entitled to it as well,” she said, and James smiled sheepishly as his friends shot him faux-disapproving looks.

“What would you know about the subtle art of stalking?” Sirius teased, and Lily blushed.

“I’m a girl, Sirius,” she said awkwardly, “I’ve had crushes,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Who’d you stalk Lily?” James teased, and Lily flushed.

“I may or may not have harboured a _huge_ crush on Adam McKinnon a couple years ago,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck, and the boys laughed, “Oh shut up, he’s perfectly gorgeous.”

“But you never dated him,” Remus said, and Lily shook her head.

“Nope,” she said simply.

“And why not?” James asked, “Not that I’m complaining,” he added, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two laughed.

“Because he’s way out of my league,” she said, waving her hand as if she were brushing it off, causing the boys to snort.

“Lil, _you’re_ out of _his_ league,” James said, and she flushed under his intense stare.

“Well thank you,” she said, “Wouldn’t have mattered anyway, everyone knows he’s head over heels for Marlene,” she said, and the boys chuckled.

“Did that just break your heart? Rooming with the person your love was pining after?” Sirius teased, and Lily laughed.

“No, at the time she had a huge crush on James,” she said, and James’ eyebrows shot up, “I suppose we made a trade,” she said, and James rolled his eyes as the other two laughed.

“Nice to know you simply think of me as an object,” he said, and Lily winked at him.

“You should know your place, Potter,” she said, and James pouted as the others laughed.

**“Fortunately, Dumbledore arrived moments later. The babble died away.”**

“I wish I had the power to make everyone shut up,” Sirius sighed, and Lily shrugged.

“The four of you possess the power to render hundreds of girls speechless, I’m sure that’s more than enough,” she said nonchalantly, and the boys smirked.

“Peter too?” Remus asked, and Lily laughed.

“Yes, believe it or not,” she said, grinning, “I’ve met many people who sigh dreamily at the mention of his blue eyes and blonde hair,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing, “Oh shut up you lot, he’s an attractive enough bloke.”

“He’s just not up at our level,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a disapproving look, earning a cheeky smile in return.

“ _Why_ he remains friends with you lot is beyond me, you’re terrible to him,” she said, and Sirius shrugged.

“We’re just charming motherfuckers, not many can resist,” he said, and Lily shook her head fondly, fighting a laugh as the boys smirked at her.

**“"Another year gone!" Dumbledore said cheerfully. "And I must trouble you with an old man's wheezing waffle before we sink our teeth into our delicious feast.”**

“Is it just me or does his wheezing waffle sound extremely saucy?” Sirius said in a low voice, and Lily scrunched her nose in disgust as Remus groaned and James sniggered devilishly with Sirius.

“Can we please not now, or ever, discuss Dumbledore and his wheezing waffle?” Remus said, and both Sirius and James pouted.

“Can we discuss it when you’re not around?” Sirius asked, and Remus snorted.

“I don’t care what you two do when I’m not around,” he said, and the two grinned.

“Another time then,” James said, and Sirius sniggered.

“Preferably without me as well,” Lily said, and James pouted.

“But whose reactions are we going to laugh at?” he gasped, as Sirius nodded vigorously, looking at Lily with large puppy-dog eyes.

“Remus,” Lily pleaded.

“You can only discuss it when it’s just the two of you, alone,” he said, and Sirius pouted.

“Mother Moony has spoken,” James sighed, and Remus rolled his eyes amusedly as Lily and Sirius laughed.

**“What a year it has been! Hopefully your heads are all a little fuller than they were…you have the whole summer ahead to get them nice and empty before next year starts…”**

“I love when he says that,” Sirius sighed, and the others laughed.

“He’s really the only teacher who understands that over the summer we forget absolutely everything that we learned the year before,” James said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Honestly, you don’t forget _everything_ ,” she snorted, and James grinned at her.

“Not all of us spend our time reading textbooks over the summer,” he teased, and Lily shoved him playfully as the other two sniggered.

“In my defense, I have nothing to do over the summers when Alice is busy and my sister is…being herself,” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Well obviously we don’t forget _everything_ ,” Remus snorted, “But it sure feels like it when McGonagall hands out that dreaded ‘let’s see what you remember from last year’ quiz,” he said grumpily, and the others sniggered.

“I always do well on those,” Lily shrugged.

“Because of the aforementioned textbook reading over the summer,” James cut in, and Lily shot him a scathing look as Sirius and Remus sniggered, “Don’t worry love, you wont have to read textbooks this summer,” he said, kissing her cheek.

“We’ll make sure of that,” Sirius agreed, “Can’t have an honorary Marauder reading _textbooks_ ,” he added, adopting a faux appalled expression.

“Thank you for accepting me for who I am,” Lily deadpanned, and Sirius winked at her as the other two laughed.

**“"Now, as I understand it, the House Cup here needs awarding, and the points stand thus: In fourth place, Gryffindor, with three hundred and twelve points; in third, Hufflepuff, with three hundred and fifty-two; Ravenclaw has four hundred and twenty-six and Slytherin, four hundred and seventy-two."”**

“BOO!” Sirius yelled, and there was a clatter as a house elf dropped a tray.

“Sirius,” Lily scolded, as she watched the house elf bend down to pick up the tray as well as the food that had been on it. She huffed and pushed herself off the bench.

“Lily,” James said, grabbing at her, but she twisted out of his reach quickly and walked over to the house elf.

“She’s actually going to help the house elf?” Remus asked, eyebrows high on his forehead, and James nodded, dumbstruck.

“I’ve never seen someone bother to do that,” James said, his eyes still glued to Lily, who was crouched down on the floor, chatting away with the house elf as she helped gather the splattered food.

“Deer caught in headlights,” Sirius sung, and James stuck his middle finger up at him without removing his eyes from the redhead as Remus and Sirius laughed.

Lily stood up and wiped her hands on her muggle jeans, before walking back to where the three boys were eying her, “What?” she said, stopping next to James, her hands on her hips.

“Nobody helps house elves,” Sirius said and Lily shrugged.

“I do,” she said simply, climbing back down onto her bench, “It’s rude of you not to help though, when you’re the reason they dropped the stuff,” she said, and James chuckled.

“Okay, okay, calm down,” he said, putting his arm around Lily and pulling her close to his side, “Let’s not start fighting here,” he said, winking at Sirius, who was smirking at Lily.

“In my defense,” Sirius said, “Slytherins beating Gryffindor by one hundred and sixty points,” he said, crossing his arms huffily, “That’s a _crime_.”

“Sure, of course, whatever,” Remus chuckled, clapping Sirius on the back as Lily opened her mouth to retort and James grinned down at her, “This argument could go on forever, and frankly, I’d rather not listen to it,” he said, and both Lily and Sirius scowled at him as James snickered.

“Mother Moony has spoken,” James said, and the two stuck their tongues out at James, who only rolled his eyes in amusement.

**“A storm of cheering and stamping broke out from the Slytherin table. Harry could see Draco Malfoy banging his goblet on the table. It was a sickening sight.”**

“I don’t doubt that,” Sirius snorted bitterly, and Lily laughed.

“Sounds a bit like Dudley doesn’t he?” she giggled, and the boys quirked their brows at her, “remember in the first chapter? How he was banging on his little table?” she said, and the boys laughed.

“Your memory amazes me sometimes,” Remus chuckled, and Lily shrugged, her cheeks tingeing pink.

“Elephants never forget,” James said in a faux-wise tone and Lily shoved him as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“Yes, yes, well done, Slytherin," said Dumbledore. "However, recent events must be taken into account."”**

The four of them sat up straighter, Sirius and James exchanging an excited look.

“Think they’re going to win now?” Lily asked quietly, and the boys smirked.

“Hell yes,” James said excitedly.

“Oh Merlin I cant wait to see Malfoy’s face,” Sirius said excitedly.

“Don’t get our hopes up,” Remus chuckled, and the other three turned to him, slightly miffed, “They need more than one hundred and sixty points to win,” he said, and Lily grimaced.

“Right,” she sighed, “Even if they get fifty points a piece they won’t win,” she sighed, crossing her arms.

“They could come in second,” Remus offered, earning glares from James and Sirius.

“You don’t get the House Cup for coming in second,” James said, still slightly miffed.

“There’s the Prongs we all know and love,” Sirius drawled, and James rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed.

**“The room went very still. The Slytherins' smiles faded a little.”**

James and Sirius sniggered at this, and Lily exchanged an exasperated look with Remus.

“Cant you at lest attempt to control them?” she asked, and Remus snorted.

“I’m a bit out of my depth here,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“But you’re Mother Moony,” she teased, and Remus rolled his eyes at her as she laughed.

“We should divide and conquer,” Remus said, and Lily giggled, “You attempt to control that one,” he said nodding towards where James was sniggering madly at Sirius’ imitation of Malfoy, “and I’ll do my best with this one,” he said, nodding towards the boy banging his glass on the table.

“It would just be much easier to leave them be,” she sighed, and Remus smirked.

“All you’d have to do is snog him,” Remus said, and Lily flushed, “I’d actually have to do some work.”

“Oh shut up,” she said, before whacking James on the back of the head, “Stop it,” she said, and he grinned at her.

“Or?” he teased, and she shot Remus an exasperated look.

“I already told you what to do,” Remus said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at his laughing face as Sirius and James exchanged confused looks.

“We should really pay more attention when they’re talking,” Sirius said, and James nodded, looking between his girlfriend and his sniggering best friend.

**“"Ahem," said Dumbledore. "I have a few last-minute points to dish out. Let me see. Yes . . .”**

“I’ve never been so happy for a delaying of a feast,” Sirius said, and the others burst out laughing

“You? Happy? Because of waiting for food?” Lily teased, and Sirius nodded solemnly as she giggled, “It’s the apocalypse!”

“Indeed it is,” Sirius said sadly, and James rolled his eyes at his best mates dramatics as Remus snickered.

“It is not,” James snorted, “He came down a half hour late for the Halloween feast last year,” he said and Lily gasped.

“Sirius!” she said in mock-shock, and Sirius smirked at James as Remus snickered.

“I had to choose between snogging Anna Daniels and the Halloween feast,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus smirked, “Only one of those things never comes around again,” he said, and the other two boys sniggered.

“Oh please Sirius, both of those things can happen any time,” she said, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Why?” Sirius asked, smirking.

“Because first of all, the Halloween feast is every year,” she said, and Sirius rolled his eyes in amusement as James and Remus snickered, “secondly, Anna Daniels is a total slag and will snog anyone, and thirdly, you know as well as I do that any girl would jump at the opportunity to snog you,” she said, and Sirius grinned devilishly as James and Remus sniggered.

“Would you?” he teased, and Lily shot him an exasperated smile.

“No,” she said.

“You said any girl,” Sirius pointed out, and Lily rolled her eyes

“I’m secretly a bloke,” she said, and James snorted as his friends sniggered.

“Wouldn’t that be an interesting twist to the Lily and James saga?” Remus snickered, “He chases after her for years only to find out that she’s really a bloke.”

“The universe wouldn’t be that cruel to me,” James said, and the others laughed.

**“"First — to Mr. Ronald Weasley . . ."”**

“WELL DONE MINION OF MINE!” Sirius yelled, and Lily shot James a pleading look, only receiving an amused grin in return.

**“Ron went purple in the face; he looked like a radish with a bad sunburn.”**

“Harry!” Lily hissed, as the boys burst out laughing, “He can’t help it that his hair doesn’t flatter him when his redhead genes kick in,” she huffed, and James grinned, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“It’s okay love, I think you look rather lovely as a radish with a bad sunburn,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, fighting a smile as he kissed her temple again.

“Thanks ever so much,” she deadpanned, and the other two boys sniggered.

**“". . . for the best-played game of chess Hogwarts has seen in many years, I award Gryffindor House fifty points."”**

“Oh my goodness!” Lily squeaked, as James and Sirius cheered and Remus looked at the book, dumbstruck.

“Fifty points for _chess_?” he squawked, and Sirius smirked.

“And you always told us that playing chess was a waste of time when we could be working,” he said, gesturing between himself and James, who grinned cheekily at Remus.

“Looks like Mother Moony doesn’t always know best,” James said in a faux disappointed tone, leaning across the table to hi-five Sirius as Remus rolled his eyes as Lily giggled.

“Oh Merlin,” Lily breathed, grinning, shaking her head slowly, “They have three hundred and sixty two points,” she said excitedly, “That’s more than Hufflepuff! They’re in third place!” she said excitedly, bouncing up and down, and James snorted.

“Third place doesn’t count for much,” he said, and she shoved him.

“Shut up.”

“Well,” Remus said, “Given that Hermione gets fifty points as well, Gryffindor will be up on four hundred and twelve points,” he offered.

“That’s still less than Ravenclaw, who have four hundred and twenty six,” Lily pointed out, “So they’ll still be in third place.”

“You’re forgetting your son,” Sirius said, and Lily flushed as James and Remus sniggered.

“Well still,” she said, “Given he gets fifty points as well they’ll be on four hundred and sixty two,” she said, “And that’s ten less than Slytherin,” she shrugged.

“So second place,” Remus said, and Lily nodded, causing James and Sirius to sigh, James pouting and Sirius crossing his arms.

“Not good enough,” James said and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two snickered.

“He’s not going to change,” Sirius stage whispered to Lily, who pouted as Remus laughed and James pouted back at her.

**“Gryffindor cheers nearly raised the bewitched ceiling; the stars overhead seemed to quiver. Percy could be heard telling the other prefects, "My brother, you know! My youngest brother! Got past McGonagall's giant chess set!"”**

Sirius let out a bark of laughter as the others snickered quietly, “Conceited twit, taking credit for what my minion did.”

“He was not!” Lily protested, “He said _Ron_ got past the chess set, not that Ron got past because of _him_ ,” she said, rolling her eyes, and James and Remus sniggered as Sirius smirked at Lily.

“He’s still bragging,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“ _You’re_ bragging,” she said, and James burst out laughing

“The one time that lame insult actually works,” he said happily, ruffling her hair, and Lily beamed as Sirius shook his head in amusement and Remus chuckled.

“I can’t believe the Hogwartians know every little detail,” Lily said, shaking her head in amusement, “Do you think they know about the mirror? And Quirrell’s two heads?” she asked James, who nodded.

“They know about the chess set,” he said, and Lily shuddered.

“I can’t imagine hearing that some first year had gone through that,” Lily said, and the boys grimaced.

“I’d be angry that I wasn’t a part of it,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the three boys sniggered.

“Amen,” James agreed, tipping an invisible hat.

**“At last there was silence again.**

**"Second — to Miss Hermione Granger”**

“ _My_ minion,” Lily preened, looking directly at Sirius, who smirked at her as James and Remus laughed.

“A little big cocky, aren’t we Evans?” he replied, and Lily beamed.

“We Gryffindor know-it-all’s stick together,” she sniffed, and Sirius rolled his eyes in amusement as Remus and James chuckled.

**“. . . for the use of cool logic in the face of fire, I award Gryffindor House fifty points."”**

“So Lily, how does it feel to know that Ronald Weasley got as many points as your Gryffindor know-it-all?” James asked, and Lily rolled her eyes exasperatedly as the other two laughs.

“Just goes to show that you don’t need to be a know-it-all to be amazing,” Sirius sighed, casually examining his nails, and Lily snorted.

“I’d like to have seen Ron get Harry past those potions,” she said simply, and Sirius smirked at her as Remus and James laughed, “So much for minion wars, mine clearly wins.”

“I thought you didn’t support this,” James teased, and Lily shrugged.

“A witch has to do what a witch has to do,” she said solemnly, and he chuckled.

“I like how Dumbledore’s extremely pun-tastic,” Remus said happily, and the other three looked at him, amused.

“Care to elaborate?” James asked, smirking.

“I’m sure it’s just fascinating,” Sirius agreed

“Scintillating,” James added, nodding his head with a mock serious expression on his face as he eyed the steadily more irritated Remus.

“Titillating,” Sirius added.

“Thrilling, even,” James said, and Lily shook her head, giggling as Remus shot him a sardonic look.

“Tantalizing,” Sirius added.

“Stimulating!”

“Exciting!”

“Really? Come now Sirius, you can do better than that,” Lily giggled, and James shook his head in disappointment.

“Sorry,” Sirius said, grinning sheepishly as Remus banged his forehead on the table with a groan, “How about…stirring!”

“Better,” James conceded, before scratching his chin, “Breathtaking!”

“Rip-roaring!” Sirius added, and James narrowed his eyes.

“This has turned into a competition now, hasn’t it?” Lily asked Remus with a sigh, and Remus let out a low groan-whine, his forehead still resting on the table, which she took as a confirmation.

“Spine-tingling!” James yelled, slamming his left hand down on the table, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement, resting her two arms on the table and her chin atop them.

“Gripping!”

“Riveting!”

“Hair-raising!”

“Mind-blowing!”

“STOP!” Remus roared, slamming both his hands on the table as the boys voices escalated to a head-splitting volume, “You’re both ridiculously talented with synonyms, and don’t care for my pun-tastic observations, may we _please_ move on?” Remus whined, and Lily giggled as the other two smirked.

“S’fine,” James shrugged, ruffling his hair, “I was out of words anyway.”

“Likewise,” Sirius agreed, flicking his hair out of his eyes, and Lily snorted.

“Oh please, you’re both useless,” she said, shaking her head, “Electrifying,” she said, before turning away from the two dumbstruck boys to face the amused Remus, “Now bugger off you two, _I’m_ genuinely interested in what you have to say, Remus,” she said, smiling sweetly at him, “Tell me!”

“Okay,” Remus said, his eyes brightening in excitement, placing both his hands on the table, “He said it was for Hermione’s cool use of logic in the face of fire,” he said, and Lily’s eyes widened. James chuckled and threaded his fingers through hers.

“How _clever_ ,” she laughed, and Remus nodded, “Because they were in a room where the only ways out were through fire!”

“And the potions felt like ice!” Remus finished excitedly, nodding his head.

“We need to spend our time with cooler people,” Sirius said to James, who smirked as Lily and Remus continued to squeal over Dumbledore’s pun-tastic abilities.

“Are you extending on Dumbledore’s pun-tastic pun with your _clever_ use of the word ‘cool’?” James asked, and Sirius stuck his middle finger up at him as James smirked.

**“Hermione buried her face in her arms; Harry strongly suspected she had burst into tears.”**

“Girls are so weak,” Sirius snorted, and Lily shot him a nasty look as James and Remus sniggered at her affronted expression.

“She’s _happy_ you absolute _prick_ ,” she huffed, causing him to grin devilishly, “Look at what she’s been through! And she’s only _eleven_!”

“Lily, love,” James laughed, grabbing both of her hands in his, causing her to turn her glare onto him as opposed to Sirius, “Love, your glares don’t scare me much, I’m too accustomed to them,” he said, and she rolled her eyes, fighting a smile, as the other two snickered and James grinned down at her, “You know he only said that to mess with your mind, yeah?” he said, and Lily shot Sirius a disgusted look as he sniggered.

“Doesn’t make it any less irritating, the arsehole,” she grumbled, and Sirius pouted as James and Remus snickered, James dropping a light kiss on her nose.

“Also, she’s a know-it-all,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him, “She must be overcome with joy at being awarded points. I bet she gets teary eyed every time she earns them in class,” he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

“At least _she_ earns points, unlike some people,” she sniffed, and Sirius clapped his hand over his heart in mock-insult, as if her words had physically wounded him, as Remus and James laughed.

**“Gryffindors up and down the table were beside themselves — they were a hundred points up.”**

“Nice to know our lot can do math,” Lily muttered under her breath, and James shoved her playfully.

“Did mine ears deceive me, or did you just insult Gryffindor?” he gasped, and she shoved him back as the other two laughed.

“Our lot are so loud,” Lily grumbled, “Exhibit A,” she said, nodding towards Sirius, who gasped, clutching his chest as if her words had wounded him.

“Fair maiden, say it isn’t so!” he gasped, and Lily shook her head fondly.

“Don’t tell me the fair maiden crap is back,” she said, and Sirius winked at her as Remus and James laughed.

“She can’t help but be fair,” James said in an exaggerated stage-whisper to Sirius, who smirked, “She’s a redhead.”

“Shut up,” Lily said, whacking the boy atop the head, who grinned at her as Sirius and Remus snickered.

**“"Third — to Mr. Harry Potter…" said Dumbledore. The room went deadly quiet.”**

“I hate when the Great Hall goes quiet,” Lily grumbled, and James shushed her loudly, waving his hand in front of her face.

“Shut up woman, Harry’s getting points,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the others laughed.

“Don’t call me woman,” she said, crossing her arms, and James laughed.

“I’ll call you whatever I want,” he said, and Sirius snorted as Remus shook his head exasperatedly.

“You’re stupid,” Lily said, and James smirked at her.

“I’m _stupid_?” he asked, amused, and Lily nodded stubbornly, “Why am I stupid?”

“Because you are,” she shrugged, and Sirius snorted.

“Where is this coming from?” he laughed, and Lily shrugged.

“He says things like ‘I’ll call you whatever I want’,” she said, “Like he’s one big stupid man.”

“How stupid?” Sirius teased, and Lily smirked, “And be creative Evans, I’m starting to miss the old you,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as James and Remus snorted.

“Really stupid,” she said, and Sirius smirked, “I mean, _so_ fucking stupid,” she said, and the other two snickered, “Like, borderline retarded,” she added, and James shook his head in amusement and put his arm around her, smirking, as the other two burst out laughing.

“I won’t call you woman again,” James promised, and Lily beamed at him.

“Is he no longer borderline retarded?” Sirius teased, and Lily laughed

“He’s just ‘ _so_ fucking stupid’ now,” Remus said, and Lily and Sirius burst out laughing, nodding, as James pouted.

“Let’s just talk about Harry’s points,” James said, sniffing dramatically, and the others snickered.

“At least Harry didn’t inherit your stupidity,” Sirius said, and James kicked his shin under the table as the other two laughed.

**““…for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor House sixty points."”**

“SIXTY!” Lily squeaked excitedly, whacking James’ arm, “ _Sixty!_ ” she all but screamed in his face, and James smirked at her.

“And I was the problem?” he said to Remus, who smirked as Lily continued to bounce.

“What problem? This is bloody awesome!” Sirius said excitedly, grinning at Lily, who beamed back at him.

 _“Sixty points!_ ” she squeaked, “SIRIUS! SIXTY POINTS!”

“I KNOW!” Sirius yelled back, grinning broadly at the excited redhead, and James rolled his in eyes in amusement, “THEY’RE EVEN WITH SLYTHERIN!”

“OH MY MERLIN!” she shrieked, and Sirius smirked.

“You may want to put your arm around her,” Remus stage whispered to James, who was watching Lily in amusement, “she looks just about ready to jump across the table and tackle Sirius,” he said, and James chuckled.

“I think she could take him,” James said, and Remus laughed.

“They’re still not winning,” Remus said to Lily, who stuck her tongue out at him.

“ _My_ child just won sixty points Remus, how many did yours win?” she asked, and Remus gaped at her as James and Sirius burst out laughing, “Besides, they’re tied for first.”

“Why does it suddenly seem like Lily and James swapped personalities?” Remus asked Sirius, who smirked, “You’d think James would be squealing away.”

“He’s too busy admiring Evans,” Sirius said, and Lily and James flushed.

“What actually happens if two houses are tied for first place?” James asked, his change in subject causing Sirius and Remus to snicker, and Lily shrugged.

“It’s never happened,” she said simply.

“Harry seems to really be turning Hogwarts around, doesn’t he?” Sirius said, and James beamed proudly.

“That’s my boy,” he said happily, and Lily shook her head fondly as the other two laughed.

**“The din was deafening. Those who could add up while yelling themselves hoarse knew that Gryffindor now had four hundred and seventy-two points — exactly the same as Slytherin.”**

“I do not doubt that the din was deafening,” Lily laughed, shaking her head fondly.

“Us Gryffindors have quite the set of lungs on us,” Sirius agreed, and Lily laughed.

“What are you laughing at? You’ve got the largest lungs of us all,” James said, and Lily shoved him as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Quite a talent, that,” Remus laughed, shaking his head in amusement, “Adding up whilst yelling yourself hoarse.”

“I am so glad he added the yelling yourself hoarse part,” Lily laughed, “I was afraid the arithmetic skills of Gryffindors had dropped,” she said, and Remus snorted in agreement

“Because that would be the end of the world,” Sirius deadpanned, and the prefects threw him dirty looks as James hid snickers behind his hand.

**“They had tied for the House Cup — if only Dumbledore had given Harry just one more point.”**

“Greedy,” Lily laughed, shaking her head fondly as the boys sighed dejectedly.

“If _only_ ,” James mumbled, crossing his arms, “What do you think it’ll come down to?” he asked, and Sirius shrugged.

“Well there’s nobody else to award points to,” he mused, “Is there?”

“Not that I know of,” Remus confirmed, nodding his head, “Maybe it’ll come down to grades?”

“Then Gryffindor will obviously win,” Lily snorted, and the boys laughed.

“That’s too pathetic a method for Dumbledore though,” James mused, and Lily nodded in agreement, “He’d do something much more…creative.”

“A Quidditch Match, perhaps,” Sirius said, a grin spreading across his face.

“Then there’s no doubt Gryffindor’s winning,” James said, returning Sirius’ smirk with a devilish grin of his own.

**“Dumbledore raised his hand. The room gradually fell silent.”**

“It’s funny, you know, because every time someone who’s not Dumbledore raises their hand more talking ensues,” Sirius said, and Lily snorted, rolling her eyes

“Yes, because that usually happens in class,” she said, and James grinned at her.

“You would know, it’s usually you whose hand is up,” he teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Remus and Sirius laughed.

“Remus is a swot too,” Lily protested, and Remus smirked at her.

“That may be true, Lil, but my hand is never up,” he said, and Lily huffed.

“You’re a disappointment to swots everywhere,” she said, shaking her head solemnly, and Remus ducked his head in shame, a smirk on his face, as the other two snickered.

Sirius looked down at the book for a few moments before sighing grandly, attracting the attention of the other three, “My voice is tired,” he sighed dramatically, and Lily grinned.

“Thank the lord,” she said, “I thought this day would never come!”

“Cherish it, it only lasts for about a minute,” Remus said wisely, and Lily wiped away an imaginary tear, causing Remus to smirk.

“I’ll read,” James piped up, holding his hand out.

“That’s a shame, it was lovely not having to hear your voice,” Lily said sadly, her eyes twinkling up at James, and James rolled his eyes in amusement as the other two laughed.

**“"There are all kinds of courage," said Dumbledore, smiling. "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”**

“I disagree, its incredibly easy standing up to friends,” Remus said, and Lily snorted.

“Doesn’t seem like you have much experience, given your lots track record,” she said, and Remus grinned at her as the other two laughed.

“I didn’t say it was something I did,” he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Sirius smirked.

“You’ll realize in time that Remus is just as sly as the rest of us, Evans. He’s simply better at hiding it,” Sirius aid, throwing his arm around Remus in a brotherly manner.

“A master at deception,” James agreed, and Lily shook her head fondly as the three boys grinned at each other.

“Where do you suppose Dumbledore’s going with this?” Lily asked after a moment of brotherly grinning, looking between the three boys.

“I have no idea,” Sirius said, shaking his head, “Moony?”

“Not a clue,” Remus said, scratching his chin, “Without looking, Prongs?” Remus asked, and James scowled at him as Lily and Sirius laughed.

“You know him so well,” Lily giggled, and Remus rolled his eyes

“Unfortunately,” he said, and James pouted.

“ _Moony_! You’re _hurting_ me!” James whined, and Remus sighed in a tired manner.

“Ever so sorry, oh sensitive one,” Remus said, and James scoffed as Lily and Sirius laughed.

“I don’t know who it is,” James said, sniffing dramatically, “And I _wouldn’t_ have looked.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Lily giggled, pinching James’ cheek, and Sirius winked at her.

“You know what would help _me_ -”

“Finish that sentence. I dare you,” James said, turning his piercing gaze on his best mate. Sirius grinned at him, disregarding his slightly threatening tone entirely.

“I would Prongs, but then she’d choose me and you’d mope,” Sirius said and James rolled his eyes as Remus and Lily laughed, “And I’m too good a friend to allow that.”

“But you’re offering to sleep with his girlfriend,” Remus deadpanned.

“Excellent mate,” Lily agreed sarcastically, and Sirius grinned.

“Best mates always make sure their mates girlfriends are completely satisfied. I can’t help it; I’m just so considerate. It’s for your own sakes Evans,” Sirius said, with an added wink, and Lily shook her head fondly as James threw Sirius a nasty look and Remus sniggered.

“I’ll have you know that I don’t _need_ you to keep anyone satisfied for me, I’m perfectly capable-”

“Can we please just move on from this conversation and find out what Dumbledore’s getting at?” Remus cut in, and Lily mouthed ‘thank you’ to him, which he responded to with a lopsided smirk.

“I agree,” Lily said, and James beamed at her.

“Of course _you_ would love,” he said, nudging her, “You were getting rather uncomfortable, it seemed, unless the reddish hue of your skin is due to the boiling hot temperature of these kitchens,” he added, continuing to nudge her as Sirius sniggered and Remus shook his head, an exasperated smile on his face.

“Just shut up and read, Potter.”

“Rather contradictory command, is it not?” he teased, and Lily shot him a glare as the other two laughed.

“Okay, enough testing the redhead, let’s just continue before Mt. Lily blows it’s top,” Sirius said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as the other two laughed, James turning the page in the book as he chuckled.

**“I therefore award ten points to Mr. Neville Longbottom."”**

The four of them screamed loudly, Lily stomping her feet, and the three boys jumping up onto their benches, jumping up and down, and cheering. The house elves must have looked over at them with bewildered expressions, but being the well-behaved creatures they were, they simply allowed it, most probably because of whom it was standing on the benches.

“I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING, _EVERYTHING_ ,” Sirius roared, as he stomped his feet on the bench.

“NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, WINNING FOR GRYFFINDOR, WHO’D’VE THUNK IT?” James yelled back, and Sirius let out another roar of celebration, clapping Remus on the back.

“THEY _WON!_ ” Remus added, beaming widely, jumping up off the bench onto the floor with more energy than required, spreading his arms wide as if to say ‘tah-dah!’

“Very impressive jump, Remus,” Lily giggled, and Remus took a bow, before climbing back onto the bench and seating himself down, “Will you two baboons get down off the benches please?” Lily asked exasperatedly looking up at the two loons who continued to jig up on the benches, shaking their bums.

“Baboons?” Sirius asked, wagging his brows.

“She just wants to see our bums,” James said, winking at Lily, “All you have to do is ask, love.”

“All you have to do is tell me you love me,” Sirius said, putting his hand on his heart, and winking at Lily.

“And of course your natural reaction to my outburst of sentiment is to moon me,” Lily said, quirking a dubious eyebrow at Sirius, causing James and Remus to burst into fits of sniggers as Sirius smirked, impressed.

“You haven’t celebrated adequately,” James announced, and Sirius crossed his arms, shaking his head in dissatisfaction, “On the table Evans,” James said, pointing imperiously towards the table, and Lily snorted.

“In your dreams Potter,” she said, and James smirked as Sirius and Remus exchanged devilish grins, and Lily flushed, “Please don’t,” she sighed, hiding her red face in her hands, and the boys sniggered.

“Oh Lily, it’s amazing how spot on you are about his dreams,” Sirius said, and Lily groaned.

“She even knows the soundtrack!” Remus gasped, and Lily’s forehead, the only skin they could see, flushed darker as James beamed and the other two sniggered.

“Just read James,” Lily whined.

“I’ll do anything you want me to, love,” he said, the double meaning abundantly clear, and Lily whacked his arm, causing the other two to laugh.

**“Someone standing outside the Great Hall might well have thought some sort of explosion had taken place, so loud was the noise that erupted from the Gryffindor table.”**

“Explosive!” Sirius yelled, grinning devilishly at Remus, who quirked a dubious brow at him, “Another synonym!”

“Ah well thought up, old chap,” James said, grinning widely at Sirius as Remus threw Lily a pleading look, “Rapier returns!”

“That he does, sir, that he does,” Sirius agreed, nodding his head happily.

“Lily!” Remus hissed, and she shot him an exasperated look.

“Like _I_ can stop this,” she snorted, and Remus grimaced in agreement as the other two smirked.

“Shall we resume this challenge?” James proposed.

“No!”

“Of course, good sir, why ever wouldn’t we?” Sirius answered, covering Remus’ face with his hand to shut him up, “I believe it is your turn.”

“Exhilarating,” James said proudly, and Lily snorted.

“It’s not like you’ve run a race,” she grumbled, and James shot her a cheeky wink.

“Er,” Sirius said, scratching his nose, “Invigorating.”

“Well played,” James complimented, a large grin on his face- he was in his element, “Intoxicating,” he added, obviously proud of himself.

“Gripping,” Sirius shot back.

“Compelling,” James said, and Lily sighed, rubbing the tip of her nose with her palm, leaving it slightly pink.

“That’s a _beautiful_ word James,” she said in a faux-sweet voice, hoping her embarrassing words would stop the game.

“Nice try,” James said, winking at her, and she sighed. Remus gave her a pitying ‘you-tried’ look, “I believe it’s your turn, _mi hombre_ ,” James said, shooting Lily a grin as she snorted in amusement.

“Rousing,” Sirius said, wagging his brows, and Lily scrunched her nose as a wolfish grin spread across James’ face.

“I’m sensing that this can go in a completely disgusting direction which neither Lily nor myself care to witness,” Remus cut in as James opened his mouth to respond, a dirty look in his eyes, and Lily shot Remus a grateful look, “I propose if you wish to continue this stupid, time-wasting, _pointless_ game, nothing sexual, as my pun was nothing close to sexual,” he said, “ _and_ don’t even try to prove me wrong, or I’ll hurt you,” he said as Sirius opened his mouth, and Lily laughed.

“Remus, you’ve got them so well trained,” she said, and he sighed, running his hand down his face in exhaustion.

“Years of practice,” he said monotonously, “I only hope you wont be faced with such misfortune.”

“She’s stuck,” Sirius sniggered, nodding towards James, who beamed, “No choice at all.”

“At least I’ll have someone,” Remus sighed, and Lily sniffled.

“Why must the good suffer?” she asked, and Remus shook his head sadly, smirking as James and Sirius exchanged irritated looks, “What have we done to deserve this?”

“Tons,” Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus laughed.

“Creative,” she shot back, and Sirius winked.

“I’m sure Prongs is more than willing to punish you for your sins,” Sirius said, and James smirked.

“Bad girls must be punished,” he agreed, and Lily’s stomach curled as he winked at her.

“I am uncomfortable,” Remus said, and Lily grinned at him.

“Join the club,” she said, tipping an invisible hat at him, “We meet on Wednesdays,” Lily said, and the boys laughed.

“But I’ll miss Gobstones!” Remus gasped, and Lily snorted.

“If you were in the bloody Gobstones club we wouldn’t be friends,” Lily said, and Remus smirked at her as James and Sirius laughed.

**“Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood up to yell and cheer as Neville, white with shock, disappeared under a pile of people hugging him. He had never won so much as a point for Gryffindor before.”**

“He’s never had so many girls hugging him before,” Sirius said wisely, and Lily shot him an irritated look.

“What happened to ‘I take back everything, everything!’” she asked, and Sirius grinned.

“Well the slate’s clean, love, I got to fill it so I can clear it the next time he does something heroic,” he said wisely, and Lily sighed.

“Why do I even bother?” she asked Remus, who grinned.

“You’ll learn,” he said, and Lily nodded, pouting.

“He should learn to be more suave,” Sirius said, and Lily glared at him.

“Please tell me he’s the one who’s borderline retarded now,” James said, and Lily smirked as Remus laughed.

“Sorry Potter, that’s still you,” she said, and James sighed.

“If that was not laced with that amount of affection, I may have been insulted,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“There was no affection,” she said, and James grinned.

“Okay,” he chuckled.

“Stop being so infuriating,” she said, and he beamed.

“If I weren’t so infuriating you wouldn’t be attracted to me,” James said, and Lily gaped at him like a fish, “Exactly,” he said happily, ruffling her hair.

“I suppose I’ll have to let him off on this one,” Sirius sighed, “he did just win the cup for Gryffindor,” he said, and Lily smiled.

“That’s all I ask of you,” she said, and he bowed.

“Anything for you, milady,” he said with a wink.

**“Harry, still cheering, nudged Ron in the ribs and pointed at Malfoy,”**

“This child can read my mind,” James said happily, as Sirius drum rolled on the table in excitement.

“Shocker, I mean, it’s not like you aided in _creating_ his mind or anything,” Remus said, causing Sirius and James to snigger madly as Lily shook her head in amusement, a light blush gracing her cheeks.

**“who couldn't have looked more stunned and horrified if he'd just had the Body-Bind Curse put on him.”**

James and Sirius sniggered madly at this, dancing around in their seats, “I don’t think I could possibly be any more thrilled,” Sirius said happily.

“That’s not factually correct,” Remus said, and Lily shot him an exasperated look, “You don’t have a stunned and horrified look on your face with the Body-Bind.”

“Does he know he’s still talking?” James asked Sirius, who snorted in amusement.

**“"Which means," Dumbledore called over the storm of applause, for even Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were celebrating the downfall of Slytherin,”**

“As expected,” James said, nodding his head in satisfaction, “Nice to know not everything about the school has fallen apart.”

“Why are we assuming things in Hogwarts have fallen apart?” Lily asked, quirking a brow up at James.

“Because we’ve left, obviously,” Sirius cut in before James could answer, and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Obviously,” she deadpanned, and Remus snorted in amusement.

**“"we need a little change of decoration."”**

“Oh Merlin I am so excited,” Lily squealed, bouncing up and down in her seat.

“You have more mood swings than Moony does,” Sirius said, and Remus spluttered as James and Lily laughed.

“I don’t see how or why that was even vaguely necessary,” Remus said, glaring at Sirius, who was sniggering loudly.

“I couldn’t help it!” Sirius sniggered, “Your reaction is always priceless,” he said, and Remus ‘harrumph’-ed, turning his head sharply away from Sirius as the other three laughed at him.

“I do not have mood swings,” he grumbled, and Lily grinned at him.

“Of course you don’t,” she said, and Remus frowned, unsure of whether she was being condescending or not, as the other three snickered.

**“He clapped his hands.”**

“Bit delayed mate, we already know Gryffindor won,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him an exasperated look, to which he responded with a wink.

**“In an instant, the green hangings became scarlet and the silver became gold; the huge Slytherin serpent vanished and a towering Gryffindor lion took its place.”**

“GRYFFINDOR!” Sirius roared, as James made actual lion roaring sounds, causing the House Elves to look over at them in confusion.

“And I wonder why I’m always so embarrassed to be seen in public with you lot,” Lily said, looking from James, who was still roaring loudly with his hands cupped around his mouth, to Sirius, who was madly playing the drums on the table, to Remus, who was head banging to the beat of Sirius’ drumming.

**“Snape was shaking Professor McGonagall's hand, with a horrible, forced smile.”**

“I’m a bit confused,” James said, causing the others to turn to him with frowns on their faces, “I’m not sure if they’ve mentioned this, but who won the House Cup?” he said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye overshadowing the innocent tone he’d taken.

“Have they not mentioned this James? Do you really not know?” Lily asked, matching his tone, as Remus and Sirius sniggered madly.

“I have a feeling it could possibly be Gryffindor,” Remus said winking.

“GRYFFINDOR!” James yelled again, and the boys resumed their mad celebrating as Lily held her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking with giggles.

**“He caught Harry's eye and Harry knew at once that Snape's feelings toward him hadn't changed one jot.”**

“Not that anyone was expecting them to,” Sirius piped in, and Lily snorted in agreement.

**“This didn't worry Harry.** **It seemed as though life would be back to normal next year, or as normal as it ever was at Hogwarts.”**

“That’s what we were talking about earlier, wasn’t it?” Remus mused, smiling slightly, “how nothing was ever really normal here,” he explained, taking in the others’ confused expressions.

“Oh, right, yeah,” James said, nodding, “odd isn’t it? How normal non-normalness is?” he mused, and Sirius frowned.

“Hold on, give me a second to process that before I respond,” he said, and the others laughed as James shrugged bashfully, “Okay, awesome, got it,” he said, clapping his hands, and James rolled his eyes, “It is odd, but I figure that’s what you get with people as odd as us.”

“Speak for yourself,” Remus sniffed, and the others laughed as Sirius grinned widely at him.

“Oh come on Moony!” Sirius laughed, wiggling his bottom so he continuously nudged Remus, who shifted away with a disgusted expression on his face, causing Lily and James to laugh, “You’re just as odd as the rest of us! Accept it!”

“No, embrace it!” James added, grinning at Remus, who rolled his eyes, very obviously fighting off a smile.

“Cherish it, even!” Lily giggled, and Remus’ jaw dropped as James and Sirius smirked.

“Lily!” Remus gasped, and she sighed.

“I know,” she said faux-sadly, shaking her head, “What has become of me, I used to be so…”

“Boring,” James said with a smirk, and Lily shrieked indignantly as Remus and Sirius laughed.

**“It was the best evening of Harry's life, better than winning at Quidditch,”**

“What?” Sirius said harshly, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus snickered.

**“or Christmas,”**

“WHAT?” James yelled, slamming his hands on the table, “Now that’s just overreacting,” he said, as the other three fought of laughs.

“Must be hereditary,” Lily said in a choked voice, eyeing his indignant expression, and James shoved her playfully.

**“or knocking out mountain trolls . . . he would never, ever forget tonight.”**

“No indignation towards the mountain trolls? Anybody?” Lily teased, and both James and Sirius stuck their tongues out at her as Remus sniggered.

“Now that’s just taking it too far,” Remus deadpanned, and Lily giggled.

**“Harry had almost forgotten that the exam results were still to come, but come they did. To their great surprise, both he and Ron passed with good marks; Hermione, of course, had the best grades of the first years.”**

“Oh Lily aren’t you just the proudest?” Sirius cooed, placing his hands lovingly together under his chin and batting his eyelashes.

“Of Hermione or Harry?” Remus asked seriously, and Sirius gasped.

“The moment of truth!” he said, looking at Lily, who rolled her eyes in amusement as James chuckled next to her, “Who is her favourite? Harry, or Hermione?”

“Cue the dramatic music,” Remus said, and James lifted his hands to start a drumroll on the table, causing Lily to laugh.

“I’m proud of them all,” she giggled, and James sighed.

“That was such a boring answer, what is wrong with you?” he said exasperatedly, and Lily laughed, shoving him.

“Shut up, you twit,” she said, and James grinned at her.

“That’s not fair,” Sirius sniffed, “he can’t just smile and get out of everything, the little shit,” he said, and James guffawed as Remus and Lily laughed.

**“Even Neville scraped through, his good Herbology mark making up for his abysmal Potions one.”**

“Shocker,” Sirius snorted, and Lily shot him a reproachful glare

“Sirius,” she said in a warning tone, “We like Neville now, remember?” she said, and Sirius sighed, crossing his arms dejectedly.

“That’s not fair,” he whined, pouting at James, who shrugged helplessly.

“I’d try and rein her in but I feel that would be unwise,” he stage-whispered to Sirius, who sniggered as Lily rolled her eyes.

**“They had hoped that Goyle, who was almost as stupid as he was mean, might be thrown out, but he had passed, too.”**

James turned his head towards Lily, trying to hold in his laughter, to assess her reaction. Her eyes were wide open and her mouth was open in shock.

Sirius burst out laughing, looking right at Lily, “your face, Merlin yoru expression is priceless!” he howled, throwing his head back and laughing harder as Remus and James started to join in.

“That is the rudest thing I’ve ever heard, how could my own son say that?” Lily said, as the three boys howled with laughter around her.

“Are you appalled?” Remus teased, and Lily nodded her head, her eyes wide and earnest.

“Oh Lily,” James cooed, putting his arms around her head, causing her to giggle and attempt to push his arms off her from where his hands were messing up her hair, “It’s okay, don’t worry, everything will be alright. Oh Lily!”

“Stop it!” she squealed, as James’ arms blocked her vision, expected as they were wrapped around her bloody head. She could just barely make out REmus and Sirius rocking back and forth laughing through a gap between James’ forearms, “Get off me you big oaf!”

“That is the rudest thing I’ve ever heard,” Sirius said, in a dead on imitation of Lily. She threw him a faux-dirty look as the other boys laughed.

“I hate you all,” she said, and the boys snickered, “The sooner this books over, the better.”

“That is the rudest thing I’ve ever heard,” James said, grinning cheekily, and Lily turned to narrow her eyes at him as the other two burst out laughing.

**“It was a shame, but as Ron said, you couldn't have everything in life.”**

“I can’t believe I said I was proud of him,” Lily muttered, and the boys burst out laughing.

“Lily, love, you never fail to disappoint in making us laugh,” Remus said, wiping away at his eyes.

“Aw Remmy-poo! No need to cry!” Sirius squealed in a high-pitched voice, throwing his arms around Remus, stroking Remus’ hair with one of his hands.

“Get off!” Remus squeaked, attempting ot shove the bigger boy off him, “I’m not bloody crying!”

“Your eyes just leaking then, are they?” James asked, quirking his brows at Remus cheekily, and Remus glared at him.

“You _know_ I cry when I laugh,” Remus whined, and Lily giggled, “It’s not funny Red,” Remus said, and Lily dropped her jaw in shock as the other two sniggered.

“Now, now, Remus, no need to get abusive,” James said, and Lily snorted.

“It’s not abusive, he just pointed out that my hair was red,” she said, and James turned to look at her with sympathetic eyes.

“Okay love, whatever makes you feel better,” he said, patting her head condescendingly, and she shrieked in indignation as the boys started to laugh.

**“And suddenly, their wardrobes were empty, their trunks were packed,”**

“Worst feeling in the world,” Sirius said, and Lily smiled at him in agreement.

**“Neville's toad was found lurking in a corner of the toilets;”**

“Standard,” James snorted, and the other three laughed.

“Doesn’t that sound a bit iffy to you?” Sirius asked, looking at Remus, who stared back with a deadpan expression.

“You know, sometimes I don’t know how to respond to you,” Remus said, and Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to face James, who was snickering.

“What’s iffy?” James asked, and Lily giggled.

“Only you could possibly be curious,” she said, and he grinned.

“The toad was lurking,” Sirsiu said, and looked around as if that was supposed to stir a massive reaction.

“I know…I heard?” Lily said uncertainly, and Remus snorted.

“Doesn’t that sound iffy to you? Like it’s plotting something?” Sirius asked, and Lily snorted.

“Oh please Sirius, it’s a toad.”

“Toad’s are awful,” Sirius said, and James sniggered.

“Fair point,” he said, “Toads are going to takeover the world some day,” he said, and Sirius nodded.

“See? Someone agrees with me,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“Remus can I date you instead?” she asked, and Remus winked at her as James and Sirius gasped.

“Lily!” James gasped, and she giggled, leaning on his shoulder, “Righ tin the feelings!” he cried, clutching at his heart.

“Remus!” Sirius gasped, and Remus rolled his eyes, “What part of friendship don’t you understand?”

“The r,” Remus said, and Sirisu frowned, before gasping.

“Prongs! He believes in fiendship!” he gasped, and James gasped once more, as Lily giggled and Remus rolled his eyes in amusement.

“He’s a _fiend_!” James hissed.

“He’s trying to steal Lily!” Sirius added dramatically, and James wrapped his arms possessively around Lily as Sirius pretended to beat up Remus.

“I’m moving out,” Remus said, as Sirius and James succumbed to their laughter and Lily shook her head, shaking with suppressed giggles.

**“notes were handed out to all students, warning them not to use magic over the holidays** **”**

“I always hope they wont give us those,” Sirius sighed, “So we could claim we didn’t know if it came down to it.”

“You keep dreaming,” Lily said, and Sirius gasped as the other two laughed

“To be fair Padfoot,” James said, “They’d never forget the four of us. I think even if they weren’t going to give them out we’d get one anyway,” he said, and Lily snorted.

“Why you announce this sounding so proud is beyond me,” she said, and he winked at her as the other two snickered.

“Just gives us something to rebel against,” he said, and Lily shot him an amusedly disapproving look.

**“("I always hope they'll forget to give us these," said Fred Weasley sadly);”**

“Ah, our prodigies,” Sirius sighed, placing his hand on his heart, “I’m so happy.”

“Shut up,” Lily said, and Sirius pouted as the other two smirked.

**“Hagrid was there to take them down to the fleet of boats that sailed across the lake; they were boarding the Hogwarts Express; talking and laughing as the countryside became greener and tidier; eating Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans as they sped past Muggle towns; pulling off their wizard robes and putting on jackets and coats; pulling into platform nine and three-quarters at King's Cross station.”**

“No! Wait! Slow down!” James squawked, covering his ears, “It’s all ahppening too fast.”

“Yeah James, that’s the point Harry’s trying to make,” Lily said, rolling her eyes as Remus snickered and Sirius smiled sympathetically at James.

“Bless him,” Sirius said, and James grinned at him as Lily rolled her eyes

“Why don’t you date him?” she asked, and Sirius wagged his eyebrows.

“We’re way past dating, love,” he said, winking at James, who batted his eyelashes back

“No, stop it, enough,” Remus said, pointing between the two boys, and the boys sniggered, “If we don’t stop this now, the kissy noises start,” he explained to Lily, who laughed as James and Sirius started making kissy noises at each other and Remus dropped his head to the table.

**“It took quite a while for them all to get off the platform.”**

“That’s so annoying,” Sirius groaned, and Lily giggled as he mimed ripping his hair out at Remus, who was blatantly ignoring him.

“I always feel like a cow,” James said, “in a herd or something. Or a sheep.”

“That’s because Padfoot always makes farm animal noises,” Remus said, and Sirius sniggered madly to himself.

“That’s _you_?” Lily asked, and the boys burst out laughing at her horrified expression, “I _hate_ that guy!”

“Don’t you love it when you prove your emotions wrong?” Sirius said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

**“A wizened old guard was up by the ticket barrier, letting them go through the gate in twos and threes so they didn't attract attention by all bursting out of a solid wall at once and alarming the Muggles.”**

“He always ruins my bloody fun,” Sirius muttered, and Lily rolled her eyes as James snickered.

“Can you imagine the looks on those Muggles’ faces if hundreds of us just showed up out of nowhere?” he snickered, and Lily shoved him.

“You’d give some poor lady a heart attack,” she said, fighting off a smile.

“Are you laughing?” Remus gasped, and Lily shook her head, pursing her lips to hold in her laughter, “You sicken me.”

“I’m sorry!” Lily squeaked, finally succumbing to giggles, “But it would be so funny!”

“You’re awful,” Sirius said happily, grinning widely at Lily.

**“"You must come and stay this summer," said Ron, "both of you — I'll send you an owl."”**

“Aw bless him, saving Harry from boring Muggle life,” Sirius said, and Lily shot him a mildly amused look, “Sorry Evans.”

“It’s not boring,” she said, and the boys snorted, “it’s not! I get to go to theme parks and stuff, what do you lot get to do?”

“…Quidditch?” James said, and Lily smirked at him as Remus and Sirius grumbled.

“Ron’s stealing Harry’s fun if you ask me,” Lily winked, and the boys snorted.

“Now that’s taking it too far,” Remus said, “He’d be stuck with the bloody Dursley’s if Ron didn’t save him.”

“You have a point,” Lily said.

“Haha, get it, stuck, because they’re fat,” Sirius said, and Lily slapped her palm to her forehead as James burst out laughing and Remus shook his head, grinning.

**“"Thanks," said Harry, "I'll need something to look forward to."”**

“Because Hogwarts isn’t enough,” James sniffed, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as Sirius and Remus snorted.

**“People jostled them as they moved forward toward the gateway back to the Muggle world.”**

“I BLOODY HATE CROWDS!” Sirius roared, and Lily squeaked, falling backwards off the bench having jumped so hard, causing James to howl with laughter and Remus to snigger.

“ **Some of them called:** ****  
"Bye, Harry!"  
"See you, Potter!"”

“Oh look at you all popular,” James said bitterly, and Lily laughed.

“Is someone jealous that nobody calls goodbye to them?” she cooed, and James glowered at her.

“I always say bye to you,” he said, and Lily shrugged.

“I’ll think about it,” she said, and James shoved her with his shoulder playfully as she laughed.

**“"Still famous," said Ron, grinning at him.**

**"Not where I'm going, I promise you," said Harry.”**

“Understatement of the year,” Lily said, and Remus laughed.

“I feel like you shouldn’t ever be allowed around your sister anymore, Merlin knows what you’ll do to her,” he said, and Lily beamed.

“I ahdnt even thought about going home to Petunia!” she said, grinning, “Thank you Remus, now I have something to look forward to,” she said, and Sirius gasped.

“You’ve created a monster,” he stage-whispered to Remus, who smirked along with James as Lily adopted a faux-innocent expression.

“Me? I’d do nothing. I wouldn’t hurt a fly,” she said, and James snorted.

“A fly? No. James Potter? Yes,” he said, and Lily grinned.

“Nice to know we’re on the same page, love,” she said, and James pulled a face at her, causing her to laugh.

**“He, Ron, and Hermione passed through the gateway together.",**

"How have they all fit?" James asked, eyebrows raised, "That's not possible."

"Why is this bothering you?" Sirius asked, after exchanging a bewildered look with Remus.

"It just doesn't seem plausible," James said, and Lily giggled.

"You should join the swot club," she giggled, and James threw her a horrified look, "You observe the most technical things."

"No!" James squawked, "This can't be happening!"

"Absolutely not," Sirius said, shaking his head vigorously, "No best mate of mine is going to be a swot."

"Remus is a swot," Lily said, and Sirius snorted.

"Yes, but he's also first and foremost a Marauder," he said, and James snorted.

"I'm first and foremost Head Marauder, stop worrying," he said, smirking as Sirius threw him a dirty look.

"That child didn't know what she was talking about," he sneered, and James beamed at him as Remus and Lily snickered.

**"There he is, Mom, there he is, look!"”**

"Shut up you little shit," Sirius said, covering his ears as the others laughed, "Children are so annoying! 'There he is Mom, there he is, look'," he mimicked in a high pitched voice, "Your mother has eyes!" he added, and the others laughed. 

"Children are adorable Sirius, their naivety is precious," Lily said, and Sirius snorted.

"If my child did that I'd kill it," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, "With fire."

"I don't believe you," Lily said, and James snorted

"Because he's bullshitting, I've seen you grin watching little kids in the playground," he said to Sirius, and Lily shuddered.

"That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard," she said, and Sirius' face contorted as Remus and James burst out laughing.

"No! What? Prongs!" Sirius roared, as the other two Marauders roared with laughter, "Why would you say that?"

"I didn't mean it that way!" James wheezed, holding his stomach.

"I'm only joking Sirius, I knew what he meant, just couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease you," she said, and Sirius crossed his arms grumpily

"You'll have to make it up to me in sexual favours," he said, and Lily raised a brow.

"Didn't think you and James were so open about your relationship," she said, and Sirius shot her a sarcastic look as the others laughed.

"I was obviously talking about you, stupid," he said, and Lily winked at him.

**“It was Ginny Weasley, Ron's younger sister, but she wasn't pointing at Ron.”**

"Ooh somebody's got a crush!" Sirius said, and Lily chuckled, shaking her head.

"Leave the girl alone, she's allowed to be excited."

"You just want Harry to end up with a redhead," Remus teased, and Lily snorted.

"He's eleven Remus, we'll discuss this when the time comes, if it were up to me, no girl would ever be good enough for him," she said, and the boys laughed.

"Wasn't it you who said he'd marry Ginny?" Remus teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

**“"Harry Potter!" she squealed. "Look, Mom! I can see —""**

"She can bloody see too!" Sirius said, and the other three burst out laughing.

**""Be quiet, Ginny, and it's rude to point."”**

"Preach," Lily said, and the boys sniggered.

"I am so happy Molly told her to shut up," Sirius said, and Remus rolled his eyes

"She said be quiet," he said, and Sirius threw him a sardonic look

"Sorry, your literary-ness," he said, and Remus turned away as Lily and James chuckled.

"If it helps Remus, I noticed too," Lily piped in, and Remus snorted.

"Yes but you're super nerd," he said, "it's expected."

"Thanks Remus," Lily deadpanned, and he winked at her as the boys laughed.

"It's still be mean to Lily day," he said simply, and Lily's jaw dropped as teh other two sniggered.

"I thought you'd learned your lesson!" she squeaked, "With Liz!"

"He probably learned lots of lessons with Liz," James said, wagging his eyebrows, and Remus flushed as Sirius sniggered dirtily and Lily lightly smacked James. 

**“Mrs. Weasley smiled down at them.** **  
"Busy year?" she said.”**

"Casual innocent tone," Sirius said, and the othres laughed.

"I think it's incredibly sweet that she didn't mention it," Lily said, and James frowned.

"Think she knows? Not really the kind of stuff you'd want to write to the parents about is it?" he mused, looking at Remus.

"Dear Parent, this year we had Voldemort in disguise at our school, just thought you should know, sincerely, Albus Dumbledore," Sirius said in a deep voice, and the others laughed.

"No, doubtful," Lily giggled, answering James' question, "They must know though."

"You say that, but how much do parents really know about Hogwarts if they're not written to?" Remus asked, and Lily scratched her forehead.

"I suppose it's possible she has no idea..." she said, trailing off, "That's irresponsible of Hogwarts."

"They probably didn't want to worry the parents," James said, and Lily shrugged.

"I still think she knows," she said, and Remus laughed.

"Lily's spoken," he said, and Lily flushed as the boys laughed.

**“"Very," said Harry. "Thanks for the fudge and the sweater, Mrs. Weasley."  
"Oh, it was nothing, dear.""**

"Oh bless him," Lily squealed, grinning widely.

"Oh for the love of Merlin, not this rubbish again," Sirius groaned, massaging his temples, "I'm developing a headache."

"It was your brain processing all the noise you've been making and punishing you for it," Lily said, and Sirius smirked at her as the other two laughed. 

**“"Ready, are you?"”**

"Greetings Vernon," James said, tipping an invisible hat, and the others grimaced.

"I've missed him so!" Sirius said, and James snorted.

"You are so lucky I know you're joking," James said, and Lily giggled

"That is unbelievably rude," Remus said, frowning at the book in James' hands, "How could you greet someone that way after months of being apart? He hasn't seen the kid since September!"

"Yes but last time he saw Harry he was driving away from Kings Cross laughing," Lily said, "Bet he was so upset when Harry didn't stumble into the house that night with his trunk after a long day of trying to get home," she said, crossing her arms irritably.

"How do you remember these things?" Sirius squawked, "I forgot about them leaving him at the station."

"How?" James asked, bewildered, "It's the last time we heard of them."

"I'm sorry if the rest of the book distracted me," Sirius said sarcastically, and the others laughed.

"Fair point," James chuckled. 

**“It was Uncle Vernon, still purple-faced, still mustached,”**

"I wouldn't have guessed it was Vernon," James deadpanned, and the others laughed.

"I love how it was necessary to mention that he was still purple-faced and mustached," Sirius sniggered, and Lily shook her head in amusement.

"Cheeky," she said fondly, grinning to herself.

"Can you imagine if Vernon shaved?" Remus said suddenly, an oddly amused expression on his face, "It would be so odd."

"You've never met the guy," James said, and Sirius burst out laughing at Remus' bashful expression

"I have a vague idea," Remus said, and James grinned.

"I'm only teasing mate," he said, and Remus rolled his eyes

"Thanks for clarifying, I was about to cry," he said, and Lily giggled as James pouted at Remus.

**“still looking furious at the nerve of Harry, carrying an owl in a cage in a station full of ordinary people."**

"The bloody nerve of him," Sirius growled, causing the others to laugh, "How dare he draw attention to himself and not act normal and boring."

"Don't worry Sirius, Dudley wouldnt ever do anything like that," Lily said soothingly, and Sirius nodded, wiping his hand across his forehead as if relieved

"Think Dudley ever got rid of that tail?" James asked, and the others burst out laughing.

"That would make losing your virginity extremely awkward," Sirius said, and the others howled with laughter, "Um, excuse me, what's that?" Sirius mimicked in a girly voice.

"Er sorry, that's my tail," James replied in a low stupid sounding voice, causing the others to laugh.

"What makes you think Dudley's ever going to lose his virginity?" Remus snorted.

"Ouch, Dudley gonna need some ice with that burn," Sirius said, and Remus shook his head in amusement as Lily and James laughed. 

**"Behind him stood Aunt Petunia and Dudley, looking terrified at the very sight of Harry.”**

"Lily how are you related to this?" Remus asked exasperatedly, and Lily giggled as James shook his head in confusion.

"I'm very interested to meet this sister," James said.

"Think she'll be terrified of us?" Sirius asked, and Lily snorted.

"Sadly no," she said, "Vernon will be though!"

"That settles it, we are going to Lily's house this summer," Sirius announced, and the others laughed.

**“"You must be Harry's family!" said Mrs. Weasley.”**

"Oh bless her for trying," Lily said, shaking her head sadly.

"They wont be rude will they?" Remus asked, raising his brows.

"Because that's the worst possible thing they could do," James grumbled, and Sirius snorted in agreement.

"If my mother taught Petunia anything, then she wont be rude," Lily said, and the boys laughed.

"Your mother sounds incredible," Remus said, and Lily smiled.

"She is," she said happily, and the boys beamed at her.

**“"In a manner of speaking," said Uncle Vernon. "Hurry up, boy, we haven't got all day." He walked away.”**

"Your mother obviously taught Vernon nothing," Remus said irritably, and Lily raised her brows at him.

"Got a bit of a crush on Mrs. Weasley do we?" she teased, and Remus rolled his eyes amusedly as the boys laughed.

"He had Liz Turnbaum and now he's gotten greedy," Sirius said wisely, and Remus shoved him as the three of them laughed. 

"No my mother didn't teach Vernon," Lily said to Remus, who nodded curtly, ruffling his hair, embarrassed, as James and Sirius continued to snigger. 

**“Harry hung back for a last word with Ron and Hermione. "See you over the summer, then."**

**"Hope you have — er — a good holiday," said Hermione, looking uncertainly after Uncle Vernon, shocked that anyone could be so unpleasant.”**

"I love the uncertainty," Lily laughed, grinning down at the book, "she's so funny."

"You have a weird sense of humour," Sirius said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him as Remus and James laughed.

"She just sounds so confused," Lily giggled, and James rolled his eyes

"I'm so glad this book is ending, the stress must've done some brain damage," he said to Remus, who smirked as Lily shrieked indignantly and shoved James.

"You're so rude," she said, and James winked.

"It's part of my charm," he said, and Lily shoved him again, causing the other two to laugh.

"Charm shmarm," she muttered.

**“"Oh, I will," said Harry, and they were surprised at the grin that was spreading over his face.”**

"They aren't the only ones," Lily said slowly, frowning as James continued to look down at the book in confusion.

"He's lost it as well," Sirius said, shaking his head sadly, this was bound to happen some day. How upsetting," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed.

"There's bound to be a reason," she insisted

"This should be interesting," Sirius laughed, clapping his hands together.

**“"They don't know we're not allowed to use magic at home. I'm going to have a lot of fun with Dudley this summer. . . ."”**

The four of them burst out laughing, Lily shaking her head, attempting to look disapproving.

"That boy is-"

"Incredible!" James guffawed, cutting off Lily, "Best idea I've ever heard."

"He's really out done himself," Sirius said proudly, grinning like a lunatic, "That sounds like so much fun!"

"I want to be there!" James whined, and Lily rolled her eyes. She looked over at Remus, to see him grinning like a lunatic as well and rolled her eyes once more. She was surrounded by crazy people. 

"We'll torture Vernon," Sirius winked, and James' grin grew.

"Or we'll pretend to," Remus said, sniggering, "just say some random words and he'll run for the hills!"

"Shaboom!" James said, waving his arm as if waving his wand, and the others laughed.

"Sadly, that would work," Lily said, and the boys sniggered.

"This is going to be a great summer," Sirius said happily.

"Well," James said, closing the book and putting it down on the table, staring at the little boy who looked so much like him on the cover, "that's the end."

* * *

“Well, to be honest I don’t really know what to do with my life now,” Lily laughed as the four of them made their way up to the Common Room.

“Well I’d say your objective for the next hour is to survive the meeting with Dumbledore,” Remus said, and Lily’s face paled.

“Oh Merlin, what time is it?” she squeaked, lunging for James’ left arm.

“Careful woman, I need that,” James laughed, as Lily twisted his wrist to look at his watch.

“Merlin! The meeting is in fifteen minutes! We should head over!” she squeaked, pulling on James’ arm and turning him away from the Common Room, as Remus and Sirius chuckled.

“Well, this was fun while it lasted,” Sirius said, throwing his arm around James’ shoulders, as Lily power walked ahead of them, pulling on her shirt and hair to make herself more presentable.

“What was?” Remus asked, coming up on the other side of James.

“The book,” Sirius said casually, “Spending time with Lily, fulfilling all of James’ deepest desires,” he said, and James shoved him with his elbow as Remus laughed.

“You coming?” Lily asked, stopping and turning around, her hands flying to her hips as she threw the boys impatient looks.

“Not yet love, but I’m sure you’re more than capable of getting me there,” Sirius called back, and Lily rolled her eyes, her lips twitching, as she started to tap her foot.

“Honestly Lily, you seem far too excited to be ending our little adventure,” James said, shaking his head in mock disappointment, “and here I thought you may have enjoyed yourself,” he said, and Lily sighed.

“I’m just that good an actress, I’m afraid,” she said dramatically, and the boys laughed.

"Oh please, nobody's that good," Sirius snorted, "you LOVE us," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys grinned at her, "Come on Evans, admit it, your life is going to be so dull if you stop spending time with us."

"Yeah alright," she said after a few moments of all three boys beaming at her, and the boys all cheered, "You idiots are actually vaguely entertaining to have around."

"And?" James said, and Lily sighed, throwing him a faux-irritated look to which he just grinned, "Come on Lil, we won't drop it."

"We're at the staircase," Lily said, nodding at Dumbledore's moving staircase.

"We're not going up until you say it," Remus said, walking around so he was standing in front of Lily, the other two standing on either side looking down at her.

"Fine!" she laughed, as they all leaned in closer, squishing her, "I love you idiots."

"Oh, Lily!" Sirius yelled throwing his arms around her. Before she knew it, all three of them were squishing her from either side in a massive group hug. 

"I can't breathe!" she squealed, and the boys laughed, letting go of her.

"We can go up and end the adventure now," Sirius sighed, throwing his arm around Lily's shoulders, "Pity we didn't find out more," he said, and James shrugged.

"Who knows? Maybe there are other books out there," he said, "Harry's life couldn't end at eleven."

"Anyone else curious as to where these books came from?" Lily asked, and Remus snorted.

"Ever since we found the first one love," he said, and Lily sighed.

"What if this is all one massive prank?" James asked, and Lily stiffened.

"It wouldn’t be, Dumbledore dropped the book," she said, and James nodded.

"Fair point," he said, before frowning at the statue, "Anyone know the password?"

"Lemon Drops," Lily said, and the statue started moving.

"How'd you know?" Sirius asked, and Lily shrugged.

"Guess. He mentioned Lemon Drops in the book," she explained, and the boys nodded.

"I'd be amazed by your memory but I feel like I've complimented you enough today," Sirius said, and Lily giggled, climbing onto the staircase after him.

"Ready?" James asked, as they reached the top, and Lily bit her lip.

"Quick, open the door before Lily gives a nervous speech," Sirius said, lunching over and knocking on Dumbledore's door as James and Remus laughed, Lily gasping, affronted. 

"Come in," they heard an amused voice answer, and Sirius turned the handle.

"Again with the amusement," Remus muttered to Lily, who giggled.

"Greetings Professor Dumbledore, sir," Sirius said, and Lily smacked her forehead with her palm as Remus and James shook their heads in amusement, obviously used to Sirius greeting Dumbledore as such.

"Afternoon, Mr. Black," Dumbledore chuckled, gesturing to the four seats in front of him. The four of them sat down and Dumbledore smiled expectantly at them, surveying him through his half moon spectacles over his fingertips.

"You wanted to talk to us, sir?" Lily said nervously after a few moments of Dumbledore eyeing them.

"I do, Ms. Evans. I believe you four have something of mine?" he said, and James pulled the book out of his pocket, handing it over to Dumbledore.

"You dropped this, sir," he said casually, and Lily shot him an exasperated look as Sirius and Remus bit their lips to hide chuckles.

"Thank you for picking it up, James," Dumbledore chuckled. He placed the book in one of the drawers in his desk and looked over at the four of them, his eyes twinkling, "Good read?" he asked, looking at each of them individually as they nodded like children, "Now, I'm expecting you all to have many questions," he said, and Lily frowned, "Problem, Ms. Evans?" he asked, and she bit her lip.

"Well, um, sir, it's just...we're not in trouble?" she asked, and Sirius snorted, managing to pass it off as a cough.

"And why would you be?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes twinkling at her, "All you did was read a book," he said, and James shot Lily a smug look, which she ignored, causing Dumbledore to chuckle lightly, "it was a productive use of your time, actually. You could've been playing Quidditch," he said, smiling as James and Sirius rolled their eyes and Lily bit back a giggle.

"Sir, where did the book come from?" Remus asked, and Dumbledore blinked at him amusedly.

"It fell out of my pocket, Mr. Lupin," he said, and James and Sirius sniggered, causing Lily to step on their feet, as Remus rubbed his neck, "Now where I got it from, well now is not the time for that," he said, placing his hands on the desk, surveying the four of them.

"Sir, surely there are other books," James started, and Dumbledore held a hand up, effectively stopping him.

"There most certainly are," he said, eyes twinkling as all four of hte students in front of him sat up in interest, "And you will find them in time. For now, I suggest you enjoy the rest of your Easter Holidays. Exams are fast approaching now," he said, not missing the way Lily's eyes widened and Sirius and James' shoulders dropped grumpily, "Study hard and enjoy the new relationships Harry has helped realize," he said, looking between Lily and James, both of whom flushed as Sirius and Remus sniggered lightly.

"Thank you Professor," Lily said, noticing that as their cue to leave.

"Have a good afternoon, sir," Remus said, and Dumbledore smiled, rising from his seat to walk the four to the door.

"I should let you know, however," Dumbledore said, as he held the door open for the four students, all of whom stopped to look back at him, "You'll learn in time, the downfall of Voldemort through Harry's adventures," he said, and all four pairs of eyes widened, "I simply trust you'll all do the right thing," he said with a wink, and closed the door.

* * *

None of them spoke until they reached the bottom of the staircase, each mulling over their own thoughts.

"My pockets feel empty," James grumbled, and Sirius rolled his eyes as the other two laughed, "I miss Harry."

"Stop whining you big baby," Sirius said, shaking his head in amusement.

"Stop being amused, got enough of it from Dumbledore," Remus grumbled, and Lily giggled.

"I'd never noticed just how much he was amused during a conversation," she said, threading her fingers through James, "Can you believe we're going to find more books?"

"I cannot wait," Sirius agreed, beaming down at Lily.

"When we finally find out," James said slowly, and the other three turned to him, "You guys up for ending him?" he asked, looking at all three of them, and Lily snorted.

"Stupid question," she said, grinning up at James, "I'm in."

"We'll have to get them their own room," Remus muttered, and Sirius guffawed in agreement.

"It'll be a fun trip, if nothing else," Sirius agreed, and James beamed back at him.

"Wonder when and where we'll find the next book," Lily mused, looking down at the floor as if someone had dropped it again, and Remus shook his head.

"Dumbledore's right," he said, "we should stop thinking about it. Let's just, enjoy the rest of this holiday," he said, and Lily grinned at him.

"Anyone up for a game of chess?" she asked, and Sirius smirked.

"Giant enchanted by McGonagall Chess, or normal wizards chess?" he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as the others laughed.

* * *

**THERE IS ONE MORE CHAPTER COMING. STAY TUNED.**

* * *

**So there’s the last chapter where they read the book. There’s one more chappie coming!**

**REVIEWS ARE MUCHLY APPRECIATED. ENCOURAGED, ACTUALLY. RECOMMENDED, EVEN.**

**THANK YOU FOR READING!!**


	19. The List

**I'm dedicating this last chapter to all you lovely readers who have bothered to keep reading this story, and the faithful reviewers who constantly make my day (:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Or any of the characters sadly.**

* * *

"Get up!" Lily sung, walking into the Marauders dormitory the next morning, "It's morning!"

"What the hell are you doing in here Evans?" Sirius' muffled voice came from his pillow, and Lily grinned.

"We've got a lot planned for today, children!" she said happily, clapping her hands.

"Do we have to leave now?" Remus whined, pulling his hangings aside to shoot Lily a tortured look, "It's so early!"

"Well, James has had me awake for the last couple hours, so it's only fair you suffer too," she said, crossing her arms as the other two sniggered sleepily from their beds, Sirius opening an eye to peek at her.

"Lily, if we're meeting your family today, I'm going to have to sleep some more," Sirius yawned, "I don't have the energy to be friendly."

"Sirius, I think you having a little less energy around my parents would be good," Lily said, and Sirius snorted into his pillow, "Come on! James wants us all to be leaving in two hours!"

"I haven't even packed," Remus whined, hiding under the covers again, "Whose stupid idea was this anyway?" he mumbled, and Lily beamed.

"Yours, of course," she said, and Remus groaned loudly, "You're the one that suggested we actually do everything we'd been chatting about," she shrugged, "and what better time than the present?"

"We could stay and study," Sirius said, and Remus snorted.

"He must be sleepier than I thought," James laughed as he walked into the dorm, towards the big empty rucksack on his bed surrounded by a mountain of clothes, "Rise and shine!" he said jollily, shoving at Sirius as he passed the bed, earning a kick in response, which he dodged skilfully.

"We've got two hours James, calm down," Lily said, shaking her head in amusement.

"Yes but we need to eat breakfast as well," James said, and Lily rolled her eyes as she heard Remus snort.

"He's just nervous about meeting your parents," said his muffled voice, and James shot him a nasty look as Lily laughed.

"Explains why you were awake so bloody early," she said, and James' cheeks tinged pink slightly as Sirius sniggered.

"I'm excited to meet your sister, and Vernon," Sirius yawned, and Lily shot him a warning look, "I'll behave!" he said, sounding thoroughly like a liar, and Lily shook her head fondly.

"At least I know you lot can't use magic at my house," she said, "makes me a lot calmer."

"We have to do  _everything_ the Muggle way?" Sirius yelped, sitting up in his bed quickly, "Like, no magic at all?"

"You can't ever do magic when you leave Hogwarts," Lily said, and Sirius huffed

"Yes but there's magical things that happen!" he insisted, before his eyes widened, "Can we not play Quidditch?" he squeaked, and Lily rolled her eyes

"We'll find a field and play Quidditch if we want mate, I promise," James said, and Sirius beamed at him.

"No you can't!" Remus squeaked, rolling around so his head was at the foot of his bed so he could talk to James, "We could get in trouble with the Statute of Secrecy."

"I said we'd find a place Moony," James said, "We're not going to bloody fly around in Lily's back yard," he said, and Remus looked at Lily pleadingly

"Don't worry Remus, we'll find a safe place," she said, twiddling her fingers around.

"Dont tell me you're nervous," Sirius snorted, and Lily sighed, crossing her arms as Remus snickered, "You're nervous? Why?" he asked, bewildered.

"I just am, alright," she said, and the boys laughed at her as she stormed out of the dormitory, "I'll meet you lot in the Great Hall in an hour," she said, waving over her shoulder.

* * *

"All packed?" James asked, taking a seat across from Lily in the Great Hall as Remus sat down next to him and Sirius took the spot next to Lily.

"Yes," Lily said happily, "Bags packed, sent an owl to mum letting her know I was coming and bringing three friends with me," she said, "I'm guessing it's going to be very interesting when we walk in and she realizes they're boys," she added, and the boys laughed.

"When's she expecting us?" James asked, and Lily shrugged.

"I told her we'd head down to disapparate out of Hogsmeade in the next hour," she said, and the boys nodded, "So which of you can actually apparate?" she asked, and both Remus and Sirius sniggered.

"We passed, James hasn't yet," Sirius said, and James grumbled to himself.

"Who bloody notices the end of fingernails," he said, and Lily laughed.

"I think a missing fingernail is quite obvious," she said.

"But it wasnt!" James protested, and Lily quirked a brow in amusement as Sirius and Remus snickered, "It just looked like I'd trimmed one of my nails!"

"Well they're doing it for your own good," she said, and James stuck his tongue out at her.

"You sound like my mother," he said, and Lily shook her head in amusement as the others laughed,  
"I'll pass next time," he said, and Lily smiled at him.

"I'm sure you will," she said encouragingly, and James dropped his head in shame as his friends snickered once more, "When are you taking the test?"

"Summer," James' muffled voice said, Sirius snickered.

"Poor Prongs is having such an embarrassing day. Lily finds out he can't apparate, now he has to go meet her parents all dejected," he said, and Lily tutted.

"Stop teasing the poor boy," she scolded, and Sirius winked at her as Remus pat James on the back sympathetically.

"Oh he knows I'm only joking," Sirius said, beaming at the still hiding James, "Your parents will love him, he's a bloody charmer," he said, and James snorted.

"You're worse," he said, and Sirius shrugged.

"I'm a charming bastard, can't help it," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as Remus snorted and James pushed himself up.

"Food," James said, "Want food."

"Have you gone caveman?" Remus snorted, and James shoved him playfully as the other two laughed

"Just eat so we can go and get this over with," James said, and Sirius beamed.

"That's the spirit mate! Don't worry, I'll side-along you," he said, and James stuck his middle finger up at Sirius as the other two laughed.

"You ready to go?" Lily asked James as they walked down to Hogsmeade hand in hand, Remus and Sirius walking ahead of them. Sirius had obviously gotten all his energy back, and was bouncing around.

"Yeah, I think so," James said, running his hand through his hair.

"No need to be nervous, I'm sure they'll like you," Lily said, smiling slightly at his obviously panicked expression, "trust me!"

"This is so weird," James sighed, ruffling his hair again, "A couple weeks ago we weren't even talking," he said, "and now I'm meeting your parents!"

"It is weird," Lily giggled, "But it's nice too."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled," James said with a nervous laugh, "Just absolutely shit terrified as well."

"Stop worrying," Lily laughed, tugging on his hand, "You're being stupid, just side along to my house and you'll be fine," she grinned, and James huffed.

"Trimmed fingernail," he muttered, "It was hygienic, if anything I should've gotten bonus points," he said, and Lily laughed, "You sure I shouldn't carry that?" he asked, eyeing Lily's rucksack.

"No I'm fine," she said, smiling, "These undetectable extension charms work like a dream," she said, and James chuckled, looking at his own rucksack.

"They really do," he agreed, "some people take it too far though," he grumbled, looking at Sirius, who was carrying what looked like a man-purse.

"Oh leave him alone," Lily laughed, and James shook his head in amusement.

"Sometimes I don't even pretend to understand the things he does," James chuckled, and Lily giggled.

"So," Sirius announced, stopping in front of them, "What's this address Lil?" he said, and Lily pulled out a piece of parchment, "Alrighty, come on Jimmy," Sirius said, holding his hand out to James, who took it with a miserable expression on his face, causing Remus and Lily to laugh.

"See you there," Remus said, tipping an invisible hat, and they all turned on the spot.

When they opened their eyes, they were looking up at a comfortable looking family home with a red roof and pale yellow walls, "It's cute," Sirius said, grinning, and Lily smiled, before leading the boys into the house.

"Hello?" Lily yelled as she walked in the front door, and there was a loud squeal from the kitchen as a woman shot out, throwing her arms around Lily.

"Oh sweetheart you have no idea how thrilled I was when I got your letter this morning!" Mrs. Evans said in a choked up voice, causing Lily to roll her eyes, "Oh I've missed you so much my little pixie!"

"Mum," Lily groaned, and the three boys bit back laughs, "You're embarrassing me," she whined, and Mrs. Evans gave a sniff.

"Oh tush, your friends will understand that a mother misses her child," she said, finally letting go of her daughter, "Let me look at you," she said, and Lily sighed, putting her hands out to the side as if to say 'ta-dah!', "and turn," Mrs. Evans said, and Lily sighed, turning around in a circle, "You haven't been eating enough," her mother declared, "You're looking a bit peaky."

"It's chilly outside and I'm tired," Lily retorted, and her mother shook her head in amusement, before finally turning to the three boys, her eyebrows jumping.

"Oh!" Mrs. Evans said, taking in the three tall attractive boys, "You didn't say your friends were..." she trailed off, taking in the three boys.

"Male?" Lily suggested

"Outrageously attractive?" Sirius suggested, and Lily groaned as James shoved Sirius in the shoulder and Remus smacked his palm to his forehead. Mrs. Evans just laughed.

"Well no matter, any friend of my little petal is welcome here," she said.

"Mum!" Lily groaned, hiding her face in her hands as the three boys snickered, "You're so embarrassing."

"Hush Lily, don't be rude," her mother said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James shot her a grin, "It is very nice to meet you all," she said with a sweet smile, "I'm Jane Evans," she said, offering her hand to Remus, who smiled at took it.

"Remus Lupin," he said, shaking hands with Lily's mother.

"Oh you're the Prefect?" Jane said, and Remus nodded, "Lily's told us much about you, it's lovely to finally meet you," she said, and Remus grinned.

"Likewise Mrs. Evans."

"James Potter," James said, holding his hand out, and Jane's eyes flashed to Lily as she grabbed her hand, a sly smile spreading across her face.

"Oh  _you're_ this mysterious Potter we've heard so much about," Jane said, and Lily groaned again as James grinned widely "It's fantastic to finally meet you James, my husband Andrew and I have heard so many stories about you, mind, they were a tad nasty at first," Jane said with a smile, "But Lily's warmed up to you a lot since coming back home for Christmas," she said, and James raised his eyebrows at Lily as she groaned once again.

"Mum!" Lily squeaked, "Merlin, do you mind?" she squeaked, and Jane smiled, letting go of James' hand to pinch Lily's cheek

"Well you have dear, your attitude towards him has changed," she said, and Lily smacked her forehead with her palm as James smiled smugly and Remus chuckled, Sirius openly laughing at Lily.

"Sirius Black, mum, pleasure to meet you," Sirius said, "It's easy to see where Lily get's her good looks from," he said, and Jane beamed at Sirius, her cheeks reddening slightly.

"That's very sweet, it's very nice to meet you," Jane said, extending her hand to Sirius, who scoffed.

"Please Mama Evans, we're practically family, with your daughter dating my best mate, I'd say this calls for a hug," he said, opening his arms wide and hugging Jane, who hugged him back numbly, her eyes wide.

"Sirius I'm going to kill you," Lily hissed, as Jane let go of a snickering Sirius and looked from her daughter to James and back very quickly.

"I knew it!" her mother squealed happily, and Lily sighed, "Oh Lily didn't I tell you?"

"Yes mum, loads," Lily grumbled, and the boys snickered.

"I told her you see, James," she said, turning back to James who smiled politely at her, "I've told her every year she's come back complaining about you, I said, 'Lily, don't be so cruel to the boy, this is the one you know'," she said, and James beamed at her as Lily groaned again, hiding her face, "And it's nice to see for once she finally listened. And I was right! You're a lovely young man, Lily couldn't have done any better," she said, and James chuckled.

"You're very flattering Mrs. Evans," he said, and she grinned.

"Oh please love, call me Jane," she said, "Or mum even!" she said, and Lily spluttered as the three boys grinned widely at her.

"Mum!" she said again, and Jane sighed.

"She's always wanted my full attention this one," she said to the boys, who laughed, before she turned to Lily, who shot her a death glare, "Yes, my darling, what is it?"

"I hate you," Lily said, and her mother laughed loudly.

"If I don't embarrass you, who will?" she asked, and Lily threw Remus a pleading look.

"She handles that just fine by herself, Jane," Sirius said, and Lily threw him a scathing look as James and Remus hid chuckles.

"I don't find that hard to believe," Jane said, pinching her daughters cheek, "Why don't you all go upstairs and unpack? Settle in?" she said, smiling at the three boys, "It's lovely to have some of Lily's friends come home, we've only ever met Alice, lovely girl," she said, smiling, "How is dear Alice?" she asked Lily, "she always sided with me when I teased you."

"She's fantastic," Lily said sourly, and Jane laughed.

"Oh Lily, I've missed you," Jane said, patting Lily's cheek, "Why don't you show the boys to the guest room, I've laid down a mattress so two can have the bed and one can sleep on the floor," she said, and the boys grinned at her.

"Thanks so much for the hospitality Mrs. Evans," Remus said, and Jane smiled.

"Not even a problem. And please boys, just call me Jane," she said, and the boys smiled at her, "Off you go," she said, patting Lily's bum, and Lily sighed.

"Come on," she said, and the boys grinned at her, following her up the stairs.

"Love you Lily!" Jane yelled, grinning after her daughter, and Lily snorted as the boys laughed. They turned right at the top of the stairs and entered the first bedroom.

"Here's your room," Lily said, as the boys filed in, "There's a connecting bathroom, so you stay out of mine," she said, and the boys chuckled.

"I love your mother," Sirius sniggered, and Lily groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

"We shouldn't have come, she's so embarrassing," she grumbled, and James snickered.

"Don't talk about mum that way!" he hissed, and Lily whacked his arm as Remus and Sirius laughed.

"Don't call her that, I'm going to kill her," Lily said, shaking her head in amusement, "Such a chatterbox."

"I think she's incredible," Remus said, throwing his bags on the mattress on the floor.

"Oi! I wanted to sleep there," Sirius said, pouting, and Remus snorted.

"Absolutely not. I refuse to sleep with either of you on the bed, I'll be violated in my sleep," Remus said, and both James and Sirius sniggered.

"If they start having gay sex you can come sleep in my room Remus," Lily said, and Remus beamed at her as the other two coughed loudly, looking away from each other.

"Many thanks Lil," he said, and she chuckled.

"So, taken a warming to me since Christmas have you?" James said, wagging his brows, and Lily threw him a look before turning around and walking out the door as the boys laughter followed her out

"Mum, I'm going to kill you!" she yelled, and heard Jane's tinkling laughter ring through the house.

"Lily would you be a dear and come help me prepare dinner?" Jane yelled, and Lily sighed.

"You better hide those knives," she grumbled, "Give me a second mum, dropping my stuff in my room!" she yelled and walked open to her room. She threw open the door and grinned at the familiar sight, before walking over to her wardrobe and pulling out one of her father's university shirts and pulling it over her head, before heading down the stairs.

"I knew you'd wear that one," her mother laughed as Lily walked into the kitchen in her jeans and massive t-shirt, ending mid-thigh, "You're so predictable my love."

"Yes, yes, I understand, I'm sure James, Sirius and Remus do as well," Lily said, and her mother laughed.

"They're lovely boys Lily," Jane said, smiling at her daughter as Lily opened the fridge, peering inside, "It makes me so happy knowing you have such wonderful friends, and they seem to really like you."

"It's a curse," Sirius sighed, sauntering into the kitchen, and Jane laughed as Lily rolled her eyes in amusement, "She's put a spell on us all."

"What are you doing here?" Lily muttered, crouching down.

"Is this how you treat guests at your house?" Remus said, shaking his head in a disappointed manner, "I expected better from you Lil."

"Shut up," Lily grumbled.

"Lily!" Jane said, "Language!"

"Sorry mum," Lily sung, and Jane shook her head in amusement, smiling at the chuckling boys.

"And where's James?"

"Is he now your favourite child?" Lily asked, and Jane tutted in amusement.

"He's probably much better mannered than you are," Jane said, and Lily blew a raspberry, causing the two boys to laugh.

"James is unpacking," Sirius said, and Lily snorted.

"Why? We're only here for a few days," she said, and Sirius rolled his eyes

"James is that person who unpacks everything before doing anything else. Put's them away neatly, folded, into a cupboard, and put's the bag under the bed," Sirius said, and Lily shook her head in amusement as Remus chuckled.

"Oh Lily, he's such a great guy," Jane said, and Lily slammed the fridge door as Jane, Sirius and Remus laughed at her.

"Who's a great guy?" James asked, walking into the kitchen, throwing Jane a smile, "Would you like some help Mrs. Evans?" he asked, noticing her washing the dishes.

"Oh James that's so sweet of you, my own child didn't even bother to ask," Jane said, and Lily snorted.

"You'll get too used to me doing all the work, it'll be a hard transition when I leave," Lily said cheekily, and Jane tutted as the boys chuckled.

"It would be a massive help if you could take over James, I need to start making dinner," Jane said, and James smiled, walking over as Jane dried her hands.

"Do you even know how to wash dishes manually?" Sirius snorted, and James bit his lip, causing everyone to laugh.

"It can't be that hard," James said, and Lily giggled, hopping up onto the counter by the sink.

"What? I'm getting a good seat," she said, and James stuck his tongue out at her as she giggled. James turned on the tap and splashed Lily with water, causing her to squeal loudly and jump off the counter.

"Looks like you were in the splash zone," her mother said, smiling as she watched the couple, and Lily stuck her tongue out at her mother as the boys laughed.

"Dad's not going to be happy you got his shirt all wet," Lily said, and James looked at Lily's shirt with a panicked expression.

"Don't worry the poor boy, he's already nervous as it is," Remus laughed, clapping James on the back.

"Lily that was awful," Jane said, pulling a chopping board out from one of the cupboards, "Don't worry James, it can hardly be called Andrew's shirt anymore. Lily stole it before she left for school," she said, and the boys laughed

"Why are we making dinner now anyway?" Lily asked, "Isn't lunch the next meal?"

"Yes, but we're ordering pizza for lunch because Vernon is coming over for dinner so it's going to have to be nice," Jane said, and Lily pretended to vomit as the boys sniggered with devilish excitement at the prospect of meeting Vernon.

* * *

"Hello wife!"

"Your father's home," Jane said, grinning at her husbands greeting as she got up from the table to greet him. They were still in the kitchen, having laboured away with Jane all day, helping her prepare dinner admist chatting and a spectacular secret shove-food-under-each-others-clothes fight between James and Sirius, which they could only play when Jane wasn't looking. Needless to say, both had had to retire for showers at one point having food shoved down their pants.

"Oh no," James said, paling as he took a massive gulp, causing Sirius and Remus to snicker and Lily to smile at him.

"He's going to love you, I promise," Lily said, placing her hand on James' and giving it a comforting squeeze, "just chat to him like you were chatting with my mum."

"Flirting with your mum," Sirius corrected, and James stuck his tongue out at his best mate as Lily laughed.

"Well she enjoyed it, my dad's much more of a pushover than my mother anyway," she said, and the boys laughed.

"Not when it comes to his daughter, probably," James said, and Lily shrugged.

"Yeah, remember what you said about the cats?" Sirius winked, and Lily laughed as Remus and James chuckled.

"I'm going to go scare my father," Lily said, winking, and the boys chuckled. She'd discussed with her mother not telling her father she was going to be coming home, so it would be a surprise for him, "I'll yell for you," she said, and leaned down to kiss James on the cheek, "You'll be fine," she said, and ruffled his hair as she walked out.

Her father was standing with his back to her and she caught her mother's eye and winked. She crept up behind her father and wrapped her arms around his middle, giggling as he jumped violently.

"Who's this?" he asked, trying to turn around, but Lily crouched so he wouldn't be able to see her, "Hello?" he asked, and Jane laughed, "Oi!" he laughed, twisting around, attempting to see who it was.

"Hi Daddy!" Lily giggled, letting go of her father and standing up so he could see her. It was comical how his eyes widened and a grin appeared on his face gradually, as if he had to process that it was his daughter standing in front of him.

"LILY!" he yelled, wrapping his arms around her waist and picking her off the ground and spinning her around as she squealed, laughing, "When did you get here?" he laughed, placing her down and squeezing her tight in a hug.

"This morning," she said, beaming up at her father, "Surprise!"

"It certainly is," he chuckled, kissing her on top of her head, "It's so good to see you sweetheart, I've missed you something crazy!"

"Lily brought a few people with her as well," Jane said, grinning at the pairs' reunion.

"Is Alice here?" Mr. Evans asked, and Lily rolled her eyes

"Stop crushing on my best friend," Lily said, and he chuckled, kissing his daughter on the head once more.

"Watch your mouth, squirt. You'll get me in trouble," he said, and Lily laughed, throwing her mother a cheeky grin, which Jane simply chuckled to, "where are these friends of yours?"

"Guys!" Lily yelled, and heard the sound of chairs scraping, "Please be nice," she said to her father, who quirked a brow, letting go of Lily and crossing his arms.

"Why?" he asked, and Lily bit her lip. She was saved by Remus coming forward, as planned given he was the most polite, and extending his hand to Lily's father.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Evans, I'm Remus Lupin," he said, and Lily's father's smiled.

"Nice to meet you son," he said, slightly stiffly, having noticed two other boys were standing behind this one, "Andrew Evans. How do you know my Lily?" he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes as she saw James ruffle his hair nervously and throw Sirius a panicked look, which Sirius responded to with a clap on the shoulder.

"Andrew," Jane scolded, and Andrew had the decency to look slightly shameful, "This is Remus, who Lily goes on rounds with, she's told us about him multiple times."

"Right," Andrew said, and Remus grinned.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," he said, and Andrew gave him a small smile.

"Nice to meet you sir, Sirius Black," Sirius said, sauntering forwards and taking Andrew's hand. Andrew seemed to be trying to place him, "Lily probably hasn't mentioned me, I'm too important to be summarized by mere words," he said, and Lily slapped her forehead.

"Sirius," she said, and he winked at her. To her intense relief, Andrew laughed.

"Nice to meet you," he said, shaking Sirius' hand happily, "I have heard your name a few times, tied in with a few others," he said, and Sirius beamed at Lily

"Telling your folks about me are you?" he said, and Lily shot him a death glare.

"James Potter sir, nice to meet you," James said, extending his hand to Andrew, who shook it, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Lily's boyfriend," Jane said to Andrew, who raised his eyebrows, shooting his daughter a death glare as his hand stilled in James'.

"Mum!" Lily hissed, and Jane chuckled.

"What?" Andrew said to Lily, who smiled at her father.

"Er, this is James, my boyfriend," she said, walking forwards and grabbing James' other hand, squeezing it reassuringly. James' nervousness was almost visible in the air around him. James squeezed her hand back, hard, and Lily stroked the back of his hand with her thumb.

"Are you the James Potter whose been terrorizing my daughter?" Andrew asked James, who seemed to shrink back slightly

"Andrew!" Jane hissed, but he ignored her, waiting for an answer.

"Well, yeah," James said, and to his surprise, Andrew grinned.

"Nice to finally meet you," he said, shaking James' hand once more, and James let out a massive breath as Lily eyed her father as if he'd lost his mind, "I really enjoyed the terrorizing tales, and Lily always told them with the best expressions on her face," he said, and Lily huffed as James laughed.

"She is quite hilarious when she's angry," James agreed, and Lily shoved him, earning a grin in response.

"James is a lovely boy, very well-mannered. He even offered to do the dishes without me asking," Jane said, and Lily rolled her eyes

"At least you and Petunia don't have to compete over who the favourite child is anymore," Andrew said to Lily, who giggled as Jane gasped and the three boys laughed, "Sorry to scare you, James," Andrew said, clapping James on the shoulder, "Father's responsibility and all."

"Of course sir, I understand," James chuckled.

"Please, call me Andrew," Andrew said with a smile, "Now," he said, turning to Jane, "Where's dear Petunia?"

"She's bringing Vernon with her, for dinner," Jane said, and Andrew groaned, causing Lily to burst out laughing, "You watch it you two," Jane scolded, as Lily and Andrew hi-fived, "Petunia really likes this boy, I think this could be the one for her."

"But Mum, it's Vernon," Lily said, and Jane shot her a look.

"As long as he makes your sister happy, it doesn't matter," she said, "and he loves your sister very much," she added. When she turned around, Lily pretended to throw up, and Andrew rolled his eyes, ruffling her hair as the boys chuckled, James still holding Lily's hand.

"Nice shirt squirt," Andrew said.

"James spilled water all over it," Lily said, and James spluttered as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter

"Good, probably needed a wash, God knows where you've been," Andrew said, and Lily shrieked indignantly as Andrew grinned at James, who beamed back as Sirius and Remus laughed loudly.

"Dad!" Lily squealed, and Andrew chuckled.

"She's trying to make up for the fact that Mrs. Evans prefers James to her," Remus said, and Andrew snorted.

"Jane prefers everyone over her real family, I think we irritate her," Andrew said, and Lily snorted in agreement as the boys laughed.

"Damn right!" Jane yelled from the kitchen, and the four of them laughed.

"So when's my dear daughter and her whale of a boyfriend getting here?" Andrew asked, walking towards the kitchen as the other four continued to laugh.

"That wasnt so bad, now was it?" Lily said, grinning up at James, who chuckled and ruffled his hair.

"I like your parents," he said, and Lily shrugged

"Yeah they're not bad," she said, and he laughed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"Watch it, he might come back," Sirius said to James, and Lily stuck her tongue out at Sirius as Remus laughed.

"Lily!" Jane yelled from the kitchen, "Your sister and Vernon will be here in an hour, make yourself presentable."

"I am presentable!" Lily yelled, and the boys chuckled.

"Lily," Jane said, walking out of the kitchen, wiping her hands after obviously having just washed them, Andrew standing behind her eating a bag of crisps, "Petunia will be in a dress, Vernon will be in a dress shirt. You cannot be sitting in your fathers old t-shirt and jeans," she said, "now go get changed," she said, "And for the love of God Andrew stop eating!" she said, turning around and grabbing the bag from Andrew, who pouted at the four kids, who laughed.

"I'm hungry woman," Andrew whined

"Dinner's on in an hour," she said, and he sighed.

"But that's in an hour," he sighed

"James, Sirius, Remus," Jane called, and the three boys looked over towards her, "if you could please try to find something a little more formal to wear that would be fantastic. I completely understand if you don't have anything though," she said, and the boys smiled.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find something," James said, smiling, and Jane beamed at him before returning to the kitchen.

"So I get 'now go get changed' and they get 'if you could please'?" Lily said, and the boys laughed, "Where's the justice in that?"

"Get your butt up those stairs Lily," Jane called, and Lily pouted at James, who chuckled and took her hand, leading her up the stairs as Sirius and Remus followed, laughing.

* * *

"Where'd you find those?" Lily asked, walking into the boys' room a half hour later, freshly showered, in her pajamas, looking at the boys' dark jeans and button down shirts, and Sirius beamed.

"Apparated to the Potter place," he said happily, "Emily was thrilled to see me," he said, and James rolled his eyes in amusement, rolling up his sleeves.

"We have to go visit them," he said, "Sirius announced our relationship just as he did with your mum," he said, and Lily balked.

"What?" she spluttered, "I can't do that!" she squeaked, "Meet your parents? You're mad," she said, and James raised his eyebrows in amusement as Sirius and Remus laughed.

"I met yours," he said, and Lily made an indignant noise.

"That's different!" she squeaked.

"No it's not," James laughed, "we're going there the day after we leave your parents' so we'll get back to Hogwarts the weekend before term starts," he said, and Lily pouted.

"I'm scared.'

"Man up," James said, and Lily pouted as the other two laughed, "Now go change before your mother murders you."

"It'll save me from meeting your parents," Lily grumbled, and the boys laughed. They knocked on Lily's door ten minutes later and walked in after she yelled 'come in', to see her in a flowery dress, "This alright?" she asked, turning in a circle, and they nodded.

"You look beautiful," James said, and Lily grinned at him.

"Okay enough of this mushy crap, let's go downstairs," Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as James and Remus chuckled. They walked into the kitchen to see Jane and Andrew sitting down at the table, fully dressed.

"Oh Lily, you look wonderful," Jane said, grinning at Lily, "And you boys look very handsome," she said, and the boys puffed out their chests smugly, causing Lily to snort.

"When will she be here?" Lily asked, and Andrew smirked at her.

"Someone looks a bit nervous to see their sister," he said, and Lily exchanged a look with the three boys.

"Yeah, little bit," she said, "Should I go set the table?" she asked, and Jane smiled at her.

"Oh James you're rubbing off on her already," she said, and James grinned at her as Lily rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on," she said, grabbing James' hand and dragging him towards their dining room as Andrew and Jane laughed, a chuckling Sirius and Remus following behind them, "Remind me not to murder Petunia and Vernon on the spot for torturing Harry, would you?" she said when the four of them were alone, and James sighed.

"If all works out it'll never happen," he said, and Lily nodded, opening a drawer and throwing place mats and all the rest onto the table, setting it up with the boys' help.

* * *

"Lily your sister's here!" Jane called, and Lily sighed

"Let's get this over with," Lily grumbled, and the boys chuckled as the four of them made their way to the living room, "Hi Tuney!" Lily said to her sister, who shot her a death glare.

"Petunia," she said coldly, and James rubbed Lily's back soothingly as she stiffened, both Sirius and Remus grimacing.

"Okay, Petunia then," Lily said, brushing it off, "This is Sirius Black and Remus Lupin," she said, gesturing to each boy in turn, both of whom nodded curtly, polite smiles on their faces, "and this is my boyfriend James Potter," she said, and Petunia raised her eyebrows.

"Oh," she said, looking between the three boys, "Well it's nice to meet you," she said, turning away and walking towards where her parents were talking to Vernon.

"Nice to see you too Petunia," Lily muttered.

"Thought you were exaggerating before, to be honest," Remus said, and Lily snorted.

"I wish," she said, and the boys smiled at her sympathetically

"You've got us," James said, "Now let's go chat up the whale."

"Can I please squeeze his hand too hard?" Sirius asked Lily, who laughed.

"Do what you want," she said, before frowning, "I rephrase, behave and be nice, but you can be threatening," she said, and Sirius groaned.

"I liked 'do what you want'," he said to James, who smiled and nodded.

"Me too, mate," he said, clapping Sirius on the shoulder.

"Oh! Vernon, you remember Lily," Jane said, and Lily shook hands with Vernon, the two of them looking at each other with much dislike, "And these are Lily's friends, Sirius and Remus," she said, both of whom shook Vernon's hand. Lily bit back a giggle as Vernon winced during Sirius' handshake, "and this is Lily's boyfriend, James Potter," Jane said, grinning at James, who smiled at her before extending his hand to Vernon, who reluctantly shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you," James said to Vernon, attempting to be polite, receiving a grunt in return, "Sorry is something wrong with your voice?" James asked, and Lily stepped on his foot as Sirius and Remus covered up chuckles with coughs and Andrew smirked.

"No absolutely fine," Vernon said, "Er, nice to meet you," he said, and James smiled, letting go of Vernon's hand, which Vernon flexed after James' tight hold.

"Behave," Lily hissed to James, who smirked and took her hand, holding eye contact with Vernon, who looked away uncomfortably.

"How about we all go eat?" Jane suggested, and they all nodded, slipping into the dining room. Once they were all sitting down and food had been served, Sirius took it upon himself to start conversation.

"So what's it like having a mustache Venkat?" Sirius asked, and Lily choked as James and Remus managed to hold straight faces, looking down at their plates and cutting their food.

"It's Vernon," Vernon mumbled.

"Oh, sorry," Sirius said, grinning at him, before shoving a piece of food in his mouth.

"So, James, do you play sports?" Andrew asked James, who nodded.

"Yeah, I er, play," he said, looking at Vernon, and Andrew smiled.

"Everyone in this room is allowed to know everything about your world," Andrew said, and James nodded.

"Right, sorry, well I play Quidditch," he said, "It's the biggest sport in our world."

"How do you play?" Andrew asked, and James, Sirius and Remus took it upon themselves to explain the sport to Andrew, "Sounds exciting," Andrew said, a smile on his face, "I'd love to see it some day."

"It's the best game," James agreed, beaming.

"And James is the best at Hogwarts, he's the Captain for Gryffindor, and they've won a the past couple years and will probably win the Championship this year as well," Lily said, and James looked at her, amused, as Andrew regarded him approvingly.

"You fly on brooms?" Petunia asked, eyebrows raised, "That's...very childish," she said, and Jane shot her a warning look as Lily glared at Petunia

"Vernon, what sports do you play?" Lily asked, continuing to look at her sister, who reddened and glared back as the three boys and Andrew choked into their food.

"Golf," Vernon said.

"How do you play that?" Remus asked, in an attempt to be polite

"You hit a ball with a club," Vernon said, and Remus frowned.

"What are the clubs like?"

"They're like long sticks," Vernon said, and Sirius smirked.

"So you play with sticks and balls?" Sirius asked innocently, and Remus kicked him under the table as Lily hid her giggles by pretending to have a sip of water and James shoved food in his mouth.

"It's more complex than that," Petunia said, "You score points and get different scores."

"So how does this scoring with balls system work?" James asked Vernon, and Lily stepped on his foot as Sirius and Remus hid sniggers and Andrew coughed, covering up a chuckle. Jane on the other hand shot Andrew a warning look as Petunia glared at Lily some more.

"Why don't we talk about something else?" Jane said, smiling, "How's school going Petunia? Lily?" she said, looking between her daughters.

"Petunia's doing really well," Vernon said, smiling at Petunia, who smiled back at him, "She's studying at University," he said to James, as if talking to a cave-person, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him, "Doing very well for herself."

"What are you studying?" James asked politely, and Petunia looked down at her lap.

"English Literature," she said, and James nodded.

"Sounds interesting," he said, and she shrugged.

"She'll do very well, better than some people," Vernon said, and Lily narrowed her eyes further as his eyes rested on her.

"Lily's doing spectacularly well as well," Sirius cut in before James could open his mouth, "She's topping our class," he said to Jane, and she beamed at her daughter as Andrew smiled proudly.

"Are you?" Jane said happily, grinning at Lily, "Oh Lily that's wonderful."

"I'm not topping," Lily said, blushing, "These three are always in the top five," she said, and Remus grinned as the parents looked at them approvingly.

"Yes but who's number one?" James asked Lily, who flushed.

"Me," she mumbled, and everyone laughed.

"Isn't that incredible Petunia? Aren't you proud of your sister?" Jane asked Petunia, who stiffened.

"Sure," she said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Thanks," Lily said.

"So Vishnu," Sirius said, breaking the awkward silence, "What is it you do?"

"Vernon," Vernon said irritably.

"Yes, yes, sorry about that Vikas," Sirius said, waving his hand, and Lily looked down into her lap to hide her laughter as James shook his leg to control himself and Remus pretended to drop a spoon so he could duck. Petunia looked furious, "So what is it you do?"

"I work at a company called Grunnings as an intern," he said..

"And what does the company deal with?" Remus asked, having regained control over his voice .

"We work with drills," Vernon said, and Sirius nodded.

"You like drilling things Vikram?" he asked, and Vernon shot him a death glare.

"Vernon," he said testily, "And yes, I find drills fascinating."

"Shall I get dessert?" Jane said loudly, as Sirius opened his mouth to retort.

"I'll get it, you stay here," Andrew said, standing up, and Lily stood up.

"I'll help you," she said, walking out after Andrew. She walked into the kitchen to see Andrew doubled over, and ran over to him, "You okay Daddy?" she asked worriedly, only to see him laughing.

"Your friends, are, hilarious," he wheezed, and Lily started to laugh as well, his laughter infecting her, "Especially that Sirius," he managed, and Lily laughed, shaking her head.

"They're all insane," she giggled, walking over to the fridge and pulling out the pudding.

"I like James," Andrew said, and Lily smiled at him

"Yeah me too," she said.

"Come on Lil, let's go back before Vikram explodes," Andrew said, and Lily sniggered, walking out with the bowl of pudding, Andrew holding the spoons.

"It looks incredible Mrs. Evans," James said, as they all began to eat the pudding, and Jane smiled.

"It's nothing dear," she said, giggling at the compliment, "Hope you all enjoy it."

"Do you like puddings Vardon?" Sirius asked, and Lily grabbed James' hand to stop herself from laughing.

"I think we're done," Petunia said, having finished her pudding quickly, looking at Vernon's already empty bowl, "We're going to go out for a movie now," she said to Jane, who nodded as they stood up

"Bye, it was nice to meet you," Sirius said, shaking hands with the two, both of whom shot him dirty looks.

"See you again soon," James said, waving, and the two stormed out of the dining room. They heard the front door close and the three boys and Andrew burst out laughing, Lily giggling as she leaned back in her chair.

"That was not funny," Jane said, her mouth twitching with laughter.

"Vardon?" James wheezed, turning to Sirius, causing them all to break down in further fits of laughter, Jane finally giving in and laughing along with the rest of them.

* * *

"Good morning Lilykins!" Andrew sung, walking into Lily's room the next morning, followed by James, "Time to get up! Lot's to do today!" he sung.

"You're so irritating in the mornings," Lily grumbled, pushing herself up into a sitting position, rubbing her eyes, "Hello!" she said, looking at James, who grinned at her.

"Morning," he said, "You should hurry up, we've got to get a start on all those things," he said, and Lily sighed, nodding.

"Well get up," Andrew said, and Lily shot him a look, causing him to chuckle, "I'll be making breakfast and James will be waking up his friends," he said, and James nodded, leaving Lily's room.

"What are you two doing hanging out?" Lily asked, and Andrew winked.

"We're both early risers. Had a nice chat," he said, "He's told me lots of stories. You're quite adamant when you reject someone aren't you?" he chuckled

"Dad!" Lily whined

"What? Didn't say I wasnt happy about it," he winked, before walking out, clapping his hands to irritate her out of bed.

"I'm up, stop clapping," Lily muttered. She went downstairs after getting herself completely ready for the day to see the three boys sitting with her mother at the kitchen table, "Where's dad?" she asked, and Jane smirked.

"Work?" she said, and Lily flushed as the three boys laughed, "You better eat fast Lil and go brush your teeth, we're going to the dentist this morning," she said, and Lily gaped at her.

"What? Why?" she whined, and the boys laughed.

"Because you need to get your teeth checked," Jane said, "and it's on Remus' list," she said, and Lily frowned.

"What list?" she asked Remus, who handed her the piece of paper, "Is this all the stuff we're supposed to do?" she asked, amused, "You were keeping track?"

"What of it?" Remus mumbled, embarrassed, and Lily giggled as James and Sirius sniggered.

"I've booked appointments for all of you," Jane said, handing Lily a bowl, "Eat your cereal," she said, and Lily beamed at her.

"Mum, you know me so well."

"What happened to the eggs and ketchup sandwich?" James teased, and Jane laughed.

"Only on weekends," she said, and Lily beamed at her mother.

"I love you," she said, and Jane rolled her eyes as the boys laughed.

"Come on Lil, let's just leave now, don't want to lose our appointments, come on," Jane said once Lily had finished her cereal, ushering all the kids into the car.

"Is it safe?" James asked, eyeing the metal box, and Lily laughed, shoving him into the back with the other two and sitting in front with her mother.

"Why couldn't I sit in front?" Sirius whined, and Lily snorted.

"It's my house," she said, and Jane laughed as the three boys stuck their tongues out at Lily.

* * *

"It's so clean in here," Sirius said, shuddering as they walked into the dentist's office, finally having calmed down from the excitement attack that all three boys adopted when in the car.

"That's what you want, they're putting things inside your mouth," Lily said, and Sirius shuddered.

"Is this going to hurt?" he asked, and Lily shrugged.

"Depends on if your teeth are okay."

"Are my teeth okay Prongs?" Sirius asked, grinning widely at James, who shrugged.

"They look fine to me, mine?" he asked, mimicking Sirius, who nodded.

"Yeah they look fine."

"They're getting cleaned," Lily said exasperatedly, and Remus frowned

"I brushed my teeth this morning," he said, and Lily sighed, slapping her palm to her face as Jane laughed.

"Why don't you boys just wait and see?" she suggested, and the boys nodded as Lily shot her mother a grateful smile.

"Lily Evans?" a voice called, and Lily groaned.

"I hate the dentist," she whined, and Jane laughed.

"Want me to come hold your hand sweetheart?" she teased, and Lily stuck her tongue out at her mother as the three boys laughed. She walked out twenty minutes later to see her mother sitting with Sirius and Remus.

"Where's James?" she asked

"Someone called him in," Sirius said, "Let me see!" he said, jumping up, and Lily quirked a brow at him, "Your teeth," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes, before smiling at Sirius, "They look the same to me," he said, and Lily scrunched her nose.

"They feel weird," she said, and Jane clucked her tongue in amusement.

"Stop complaining Lily," she said, smiling fondly

"Sirius Black?"

"Coming!" Sirius said, walking towards the woman.

"That wasn't so bad," James said, walking back towards them, "Although...I swear there's never been this much space between my teeth," he said, licking the back of his teeth, causing the others to laugh, "Why don't you like the dentist?" he asked Lily, who sighed.

"The noise scares me," she said, and James chuckled, putting his arm around her shoulders and pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

"It is a scary noise," he said.

"And they stretch my mouth out. I feel like my cheeks are going to split, they pull them so hard," Lily whined, and James, Jane and Remus laughed.

"Remus Lupin?"

"That's me, pray my cheeks don't split," Remus said, and the others laughed.

* * *

"That was incredible," Sirius said when they were back in the car, "Why don't us magic folk do that? My mouth has never felt so clean."

"I really enjoyed that," Remus agreed, and Lily snorted from where she was sitting in front.

"You're all freaks," she said, and the boys laughed.

"What's next on the list Remus?" James asked, leaning around Sirius, who was sitting the middle, and Remus pulled it out of his pocket, unfolding the piece of paper.

"Reptile house," Remus read

"The zoo is right around the corner, should I drop you off there and you can find your way back to the house?" Jane asked Lily, who shrugged

"Fine by me, boys?" she asked, and they all confirmed.

"Have a good time," Jane said, "Be careful," she said, and Lily saluted her mother as she drove off.

"So what do we do?" James asked, grinning at Lily, who smiled and gestured to the zoo behind them.

"Welcome to the zoo boys."

* * *

"I swear these don't exist," Sirius said, as he looked at a giant panda, "This can't be real, we'd have heard of it."

"They live in China," Lily said, and Sirius quirked a brow.

"I feel like being in the magical world limits our knowledge too much," Remus said, reading about the Giant Panda on the board next to them. They'd seen almost everything now, the boys had especially enjoyed the lions, for obvious Gryffindor reasons, and the reptile house was last on their to-do list at the zoo.

"You're such a nerd Moony," James chuckled, throwing his arm around Remus, "Just enjoy this, not many magical folk are exposed to the Muggle world as we've been," he said, winking at Lily, who grinned back.

"I suppose you're right," Remus said, "Padfoot! Stop it!" he squeaked, embarrassed, as Sirius started dancing around so the panda would notice him.

"He's so embarrassing," Lily said, covering her face in case anyone at the zoo might recognise her.

"Let's go to the reptile house!" James said excitedly.

"Yeah! That's where Harry let the snake go isn't it?" Sirius said, and the four of them head off, bouncing happily.

"It's oddly nice not using magic," James said, and the other three looked at him, bewildered, "I mean, it's so simple."

"Or much more complicated depending on what you're trying to do," Lily said, and James rolled his eyes as the other two laughed, "Doing the dishes is much easier with magic."

"But it's so soothing Muggle style," he said, and Sirius snorted.

"Lily he's trying to steal your superhero title," he said, and Lily gasped, shoving at James playfully as they laughed.

"So this would be it?" Remus said, stopping in front of the boa constrictor panel and looking in, "Blimey that's a big snake. Poor Dudley."

"That is sick," Sirius said, eyes wide and excited as he eyed up the massive monster slithering around.

"Is it wrong that I want to touch it?" James said, his eyes following the beast around, and Lily snorted.

"Well, Harry made the glass vanish," Sirius said, a devilish smirk spreading across his face.

"That's it, we're leaving before you buffoons get any ideas," she said, and, ignoring the boys protests, led them out of the reptile house, "Let's go home," she said.

"How?" Remus asked, and Lily shot him an exasperated look.

"Apparate?" she said, and Remus reddened as the other two laughed, "come on, let's go find a private place to apparate from so we don't scare any Muggles."

"Lily you can't refer to them as Muggles. You're a Muggle," James said, and Sirius snorted.

" _Honorary_ Muggle," he chirped.

"Yes, thank you Sirius, I'm an honorary Muggle, James, so I can do what I want," she said, and James rolled his eyes in amusement

"Why do I find it so odd that James and Lily still argue despite the newfound romance?" Remus asked Sirius, causing the other two to snort.

"Moony, you know full well it would take a magnitude shift in the very makeup of the universe to stop James and Lily arguing," Sirius said with a falsely wise air.

"Oh shut up Sirius," Lily said as James and Remus laughed.

* * *

"Mum! We're home!" Lily yelled as they walked through the front door.

"That was quick," Jane said, "There's cannelloni in the microwave for lunch," she said, and the boys pushed past Lily to run to the kitchen, "And your father's home."

"What's he doing here so early?" Lily asked, and heard a snort.

"Thanks for being so happy," Andrew said, walking down the stairs, and Lily grinned, hugging her father, "James told me this morning that the boys wanted to see some sports," he said, "So here I am, to sport educate," he said, and Lily laughed.

"I'm perfectly capable Dad," she said, and he shrugged

"I never had a son to teach sports to, this is my chance," he winked, and Lily rolled her eyes as he laughed, the two of them walking into the kitchen

"Hey Andrew," James said, handing a plate of cannelloni to Lily. He'd figured out how to use the microwave the day before, and now insisted on heating up all the food. Jane thought it was sweet and very helpful, but Lily knew James just enjoyed watching the food spin around inside the microwave.

"You boys up to watching some sports?" he asked, and the boys' eyes widened.

"That's next on our list!" Remus said excitedly, and Sirius sniggered at Remus' nerdish excitement.

"Then let's go, it's not going to be easy getting through an entire basketball, baseball and football game before bed," Andrew said, and the boys followed after him excitedly, James grabbing Lily's hand and dragging her along with them.

"Basketball is my favourite," James declared at dinner. Andrew had given up on watching entire games, and simply explained the rules to the boys and shown them clips of different games. Lily had been fascinated simply watching the three boys get so excited and concentrate so deeply.

"That's because it's most like Quidditch," Lily said, and James frowned.

"Hardly," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the other two sniggered

"I know what you mean Lily," Remus said, and Lily grinned at him, "I think football's my favourite one. Might have to start following it," he said, and Andrew beamed.

"It's my favourite too," he said, "I follow-"

"Nobody cares," Jane said, rubbing her temples, causing the four children to laugh, "This sports talk is fascinating, but I hope nobody minds if I excuse myself to go have a nice hot shower," she said, getting up.

"Nobody cares," Andrew mimicked, and Jane shot him an amused look as the boys and Lily laughed.

"Don't worry about the dishes Jane, we'll handle them," Remus said, having mastered the art of washing dishes Muggle style.

"Thank you Remus," she said with a smile, walking out of the dining room.

"I say we try playing," James said excitedly, and Andrews eyes lit up.

"I have a football and a basketball," he said, and Lily snorted.

"And a net?" she asked.

"There's one in the playground down the road," he said, and Lily giggled at his adamant expression.

"I don't mind," she said, and the boys grinned.

"Yay!" Sirius said excitedly, "Do you have a baseball? And a bat?"

"No, I have no patience for that game," Andrew said, shaking his head.

"Vernon would love it, sticks and balls," Sirius said, and Lily giggled as Andrew smirked.

"Who's Vernon?" James asked, and Sirius snickered.

"Sorry, I mean Vardon," Sirius said.

"Go put some shoes on, let's go," Andrew said, and the boys ran up the stairs to the guest room. Lily laughed and walked with Andrew to the shoe cabinet. By the time they'd gotten their shoes on and fetched the balls, the three boys were ready at the bottom of the stairs, grinning at them.

"Can I hold it?" James asked, eyeing the basketball in Lily's arms, and Lily rolled her eyes, passing him the ball, "It's so much heavier than I expected," James said, throwing the ball up and down in his hands.

"What's the football like?" Remus asked, and Andrew chuckled, passing the ball to him, "Wouldn't this hurt your foot?" Remus asked, and Andrew shrugged.

"It gets numbed after a few kicks," he said, and Remus nodded in understanding. They made their way down the road to the playground Lily used to play in, and she grinned at the swings.

"Oh my Merlin what is that?" Sirius squawked, pointing at the merry-go-round.

"Sit on it," Lily said simply, and Sirius frowned at her, before obliging and sitting on it. Lily took off at a run and jumped onto the merry-go-round, causing it to spin quickly. Andrew, James and Remus laughed as they heard Sirius' yells and Lily's giggles from the blur of colour in front of them.

"That was incredible," Sirius said, rolling off the merry-go-round and onto the grass, "James I feel nauseated."

"I'm not surprised," James chuckled, helping Sirius onto his feet, "Come on mate," he laughed, supporting Sirius' weight as he swayed, "let's go play basketball."

"That is a lot higher than I expected," Remus said, looking up at the basketball net.

"Is that how high it was when we saw it?" James asked, and Andrew chuckled, nodding.

"The men playing are just a lot taller on TV," Andrew said, and Lily laughed, "Here you go Petal take a shot," he said, passing the ball to Lily.

"You won't make that," Sirius snorted, and Lily grinned at him before shooting the ball, getting it right in the net.

"Someone had to play with dad," Lily said, and Andrew chuckled as the boys gaped at her.

* * *

"How do you do this?" James asked, frustrated, after a few tries of simply throwing the ball at the net. Lily was attempting to teach Sirius and Andrew was with Remus. Lily giggled and walked over to James.

"Hold it here, no, put your hands here, yes good," she said, moving his hands on the ball, "and now look at the box behind the net."

"The orange one?" James asked, and Lily nodded.

"Yep, and aim for that. Shoot it like this," she said, demonstrating the flick of her wrist. James watched her do it and then mimicked her, the ball hitting the rim of the net.

"I almost did it!" James said excitedly, and Lily grinned at him.

"You keep trying," she laughed.

After a few minutes all the boys had made a few baskets and were extremely happy with themselves.

"We should bring this up at Hogwarts," Sirius said, and James chuckled.

"Nobody would play, they'd say it was beneath them," he said, and Sirius grumbled.

"Lily can we come over more often and play?" he asked, and Lily laughed.

"Ask my dad," she said, and the three boys turned to Andrew with puppy-dog eyes.

"Yes of course you can," Andrew chuckled, "Now pass me that ball," he said, and Sirius chest passed the basketball to Andrew, "Very good Sirius," he said, causing the boy in question to beam with pride, "we're going to try our foot at football now," Andrew said, giggling to himself, and James burst out laughing.

"That was not funny," Lily said, as her father and boyfriend laughed at the lame joke.

"I cannot believe they have the same sense of humour," Sirius said, shaking his head sadly as Remus clapped him on the back, "No wonder you can handle it," Sirius said to Lily, who laughed.

"Okay, so you're going to kick the ball with the inside of the front part of your foot," Andrew said, gesturing to the area on his shoe, "and angle your leg so the ball goes straight," he said, "You need to use your entire leg to kick hard, not just bending your knees," he said, and the boys nodded, paying rapt attention.

"You're never this concentrated in classes," Lily muttered, watching them.

"Can Lily do this too?" Sirius asked bitterly, and Lily grinned.

"I grew up playing these games in school, don't be upset," she said, as she and Andrew began to pass the ball back and forth.

"You boys try," Andrew said, kicking the ball to Remus, who was frowning down at it in extreme concentration.

"That was so much fun," James said, as they all returned to the house, all the men drenched in sweat, and Lily walking behind them, her nose crinkled at the smell.

"Go shower, all of you," Lily said, and Andrew laughed.

"Who's the parent here?" he asked, and Lily scrunched her nose.

"Nobody who smells that strong is a parent, go shower," she said, and the boys laughed, all men trudging up the stairs to their respective rooms to shower.

* * *

As Lily lay in bed that night, a knock sounded on the door, and James walked in.

"Hey," she whispered, and he smiled, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"Hey," he said, leaning his head on hers, "Just wanted to say thanks for letting us all come over," he said, and Lily grinned up at him.

"Not a problem, I'm actually really enjoying having you lot around," she said, and James grinned.

"Music to my ears," he said,and she laughed.

"I thought you'd be asleep," she said, and he rolled his eyes

"No, I touched my nose last so I had to shower last," he said, and Lily giggled.

"Are the others asleep?"

"Yep," James said, "I'm not sleepy yet."

"I kind of am," Lily admitted, and James let out a huge sigh.

"Fine," he said, and Lily laughed, "I'll leave, let you sleep."

"James?" Lily said, and he turned around, "I'm scared to meet your parents," she whispered, and he chuckled, pulling her in for a hug.

"They'll love you," he said, "Don't even worry about it. Besides, we're still here for another day, you have time to prepare yourself," he said, and Lily nodded, taking a deep breath.

"You know," Lily said, and James hummed after she didn't say anything for a few seconds, "It's weird you guys never got to do this stuff as children. I always took it for granted."

"You're a lucky girl Lily Evans," he said, and Lily grinned, cuddling into him.

"Yeah, I've felt that way a lot lately," she said, and James chuckled, "What are we doing tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow is horse riding, theme park, bubbles and watching Cinderella," he said, and Lily let out a long breath.

"That's a jam-packed day," she said, and James laughed.

"Jam-packed," he repeated, laughing, and Lily rolled her eyes

"I think you're sleepier than you thought," she said, shoving at him, "Go sleep with Sirius."

"If you say so," he winked, and Lily laughed as he closed the door behind him.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?"

"It was your idea," Lily said to Sirius, as he eyed the horse suspiciously. They'd come to the horse riding school Lily had gone to when she was younger, so she could teach Sirius to horse ride as he'd requested.

"Why aren't they doing this?" he asked, gesturing to James and Remus

"Because they never wanted to," she said, and the other two snorted.

"Damn straight, that thing is massive," James said, eyeing the horse standing in front of them.

"That thing is a horse, and her name is Diamond," Lily said and James grinned at her

"Sorry love."

"What if Diamond doesn't like me?" Sirius asked, and Lily shook her head in amusement.

"She's not a hippogriff, if she doesn't like you she'll just be very irritable," she said, and Sirius nodded, "Sirius she's not going to kill you, just get on the horse, I've already shown you how, and told you what to do."

"I'm bracing myself," Sirius hissed, eyeing the foot paddle closest to him, "I'm reliving my life before my eyes," he said, and the other three laughed. After taking a deep breath Sirius stuck his foot in the foot hole and attempted to pull himself onto the horse. He ended up sprawled across the back, one leg stuck in the foothold, another dangling off the back of the horse from where he'd tried to get it over, his hands on the saddle, and his face buried in the fur on the other side of the horse.

"Some help would be nice," Sirius' muffled voice came, as James and Remus doubled over with laughter and Lily grinned.

"Push your face up Sirius, okay, good, now get your leg off Diamonds rear end, good , now get your foot out of the foothold, there you go," Lily said, as Sirius landed back on the ground.

"I'm done, let's go," Sirius said, and both James and Remus booed.

"You didn't get on the horse!" Lily protested, "Just get on it and then you can leave," she said, and Sirius sighed.

"How?" he whined, and Lily looked towards James and Remus, who took that as a cue and walked over.

"Here, I'll give you a boost," James said, holding his hands out in front of him so Sirius could step on them.

"I'll stand on this side and help," Remus said, going to the other side of Diamond, stroking her lightly.

"How do I know you won't sabotage me?" Sirius asked, and the two boys shot him sardonic looks, "Okay, okay," Sirius conceded, putting his foot on James' hands.

"Ready?" James said, and Sirius nodded. Sirius took a step and James pushed him up, so Sirius was high enough to put one leg over the horse. Remus and James helped Sirius tuck his feet into the holes as Sirius held his arms in the air victoriously.

"I did it!" Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James and Remus chuckled, "Now what?"

"I'll lead the horse," Lily said, grabbing the reins, "and you just concentrate on holding on."

"Okay," Sirius said. Lily led Diamond ahead a few steps then stopped as she noticed Sirius' scrunched up expression. Once she stopped an expression of intense relief spread across his face.

"Oh thank Merlin that fresh hell stopped," Sirius said, "Oh my poor balls couldn't handle it. The bouncing. Oh goodness. I'm never going to be able to have children," Sirius groaned, and both James and Remus started to cackle madly, "Lil get me off this thing," he whined, and Lily laughed.

"Here, take the reins, and just turn her back," she said, and Sirius looked at her with wide eyes.

"WHAT?"

"Just, pull on the right side," Lily said, trying to contain her laughter and stay patient. Sirius did so and Diamond started to turn around. However Sirius couldn't balance himself and started to slip.

"Help!" he yelled, and Lily giggled as James and Remus made their way over, holding onto Sirius to support his weight. Diamond didn't seem to get the memo and continued to walk, causing Sirius to yell out as James and Remus continued to support his weight while walking with him, the two of them shaking with laughter, "Lilyyy!"

"I'm coming," Lily laughed, walking forwards and reaching up, giving a tug on the reins to stop the horse, "There, now get off," she laughed, and Sirius sighed, pulling his foot out of the foothold. The lack of support caused him to fall off the horse, taking James and Remus down with him.

"Thanks for catching me," Sirius said grinning cheekily, lying on top of his two best mates.

"Get  _off_!" Remus said, pushing at Sirius, who got to his feet, looking immensely happy with himself.

"Alright, I rode a horse, we're good here, let's go," he said, and walked away from Diamond as Lily chuckled and thanked the manager, handing one of the workers Diamonds reins.

* * *

"Well that was an...experience," James said, as they walked towards the theme park entrance after apparating into the alleyway close by.

"This will be better," Lily said excitedly, "Just keep your wristbands on, they're your tickets," she said, and the boys nodded, looking down at the paper bands on their wrists. They walked through the entrance and Lily watched as the boys jaws dropped.

"Oh Merlin, I think I've died and gone to heaven," Sirius said, watching as a ride spun people around.

"This is terrifying," Remus said, a massive grin on his face as he eyed the massive roller coaster in the distance.

"Which ones can we go on?" James asked Lily, who smiled.

"We can go on all of them, but let's just go on the really good ones," she said, grabbing his hand and leading him to the one that looked like a lot of teacups.

"Thirsty?" Sirius joked, and James snorted as they all took their seats in the teacup.

"If you spin this," Lily said, gesturing to the circle in front of them, "it goes faster," she said, and the boys smirked. The buzzer sounded and the teacup started to spin, while all the teacups spun in a massive circle.

"Oh bloody hell," Sirius chuckled, as he fell into Remus again, who was practically lying on James, who was pretty much on top of Lily, all of them laughing so hard they couldn't breath. The teacup changed directions and they all fell the other way.

"This is incredible!" Remus yelled, laughing, his hair flying in every possible direction and his eyes wide with excitement. He reached forwards, ignoring everyone's shouts of 'NO', and spun the wheel, causing all of them to fall again, sliding around on the teacup.

The last buzzer sounded and the four of them somehow managed to get off, out of breath from laughing so hard.

"Moony you crazy buffoon, what the fuck were you doing, spinning it faster?" Sirius asked, and the other three burst out laughing.

"I wish I was muggleborn," Remus laughed, clutching his stomach as they stopped outside the ride, catching their breaths.

"We are doing this every Easter, without fail," James said, and the other two boys nodded, "New tradition."

"What's that one?" Remus asked, his eyes wide, and Lily giggled.

"You really are a child at heart aren't you Remus?" she asked, grinning at him, "The chocolate, the theme park fascination."

"And proud," Sirius said, clapping Remus on the shoulder, and he grinned, before pointing at the ride he'd asked about.

"Lily that one looks incredible, can we please go on it?" he asked, his eyes following the pendulum like movements of a big boat.

"Good choice Remus," Lily squealed, "Oh i love this one, come on," she said, grabbing James' hand and dragging him over to it.

"Calm down woman, I'm coming," James chuckled, allowing Lily to pull him towards it.

"It's almost like you're not excited mate, what are you doing?" Sirius asked, shooting a faux-angry look at James, who rolled his eyes, grinning.

"I am excited!" he said, moving his legs faster so he could keep pace with Lily, who was walking twice as fast as usual.

"I hate queuing," Remus grumbled, bouncing up and down as they waited for their turn to get on the ride.

"Preach," James huffed, tapping his foot as he crossed his arms, looking up at the ride as if willing it to stop so they could go on. Finally the ride stopped and the other people got off. When the doorway opened, the four of them ran onto the ride.

"Where do we sit?" Sirius asked, and Lily pointed to the end of the boat.

"Your stomach jumps the most up there," she said, and the boys ran over to it, reserving the row for them, "Budge over," Lily said, as the boys sprawled out, and they grinned at her before making space. The buzzer for it to begin sounded, and the boys grabbed the bar in front of them excitedly.

As the ride began to move, slowly rising higher and higher each side it went and getting faster, the boys sniggered loudly.

"I love when my stomach does that," Sirius sniggered, putting a hand on his stomach and sniggering harder as the boat swung once more.

"Pete would chuck his guts up if he went on this," James laughed, and the other boys laughed as Lily shook her head disapprovingly, a smile on her face.

"You're so mean to poor Peter," she said, and James shrugged, grinning at Lily.

When the ride stopped they stumbled off, Sirius giggling about how he felt like he was still swaying.

"I think you boys are ready for that," Lily said, beaming as she looked over at the massive roller coaster that seemed to be the scariest ride in the park, "Think you can handle it?" she teased, looking up at the th ree boys next to her, all of whom snorted.

"Bring it on," Remus said, leading the way towards the ride as Sirius and James cheered.

"This queue is going to take an age," Sirius said, looking at the queue for the roller coaster, and Lily shrugged.

"It wont get shorter, and it's going to be worth it," she said, and then smirked, "Unless you boys are too scared to go on the roller coaster, in which case we can just go-"

"Shut it," Remus said, ruffling Lily's hair, and she giggled as the other two stuck their tongues out at her as they got into the line. Thirty minutes of Sirius whining about the inefficiency of queues and James educating them all on the wonder that was the express queue and the extent of his jealousy for people who had paid extra to be in there, they finally made it to the front.

"Shall we?" James said, gesturing to the ride in front of them. They were to sit in pairs, so Sirius and Remus sat down in front of Lily and James, all of them bouncing excitedly. When the doors closed, disallowing people from getting onto the ride, the boys suddenly looked slightly fearful.

"You boys ready?" Lily asked, eyes wide with excitement and amusement at the boys' expressions, and they all looked at her in terror as the large black bars that were going to strap them in came down and held them to the seats.

"Anyone else praying for the first time ever?" Sirius asked, and both Remus and James snorted as Lily laughed.

"Here we go!" she screamed as the ride started to climb.

"This isn't so bad," James said.

"Look ahead mate," Remus whimpered, and James looked up to see the end of the climb, signalling a massive drop.

"Lily if I crap my pants will you still love me?" James asked, and Lily laughed. They reached the top and the ride stopped for a moment.

"Oh fuck," they heard Sirius say, before the roller coaster plummeted down, and they were no longer able to hear anything over the sounds of theirs and everyone on the rides screams. As their body's were jerked in different directions and their stomachs feeling like they'd explored ever part of their body, Lily looked at James to see him laughing and screaming at the same time and grinned to herself.

The ride ended faster than any of them wanted, and they made their way off the ride platform and back to the main area in the park.

"That was  _wicked_ ," Sirius sniggered, throwing his arm around Lily's shoulders, "Incredible. I cannot believe you haven't befriended me earlier and brought me here," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as the boys laughed, "Those loops!"

"I liked the drops," Remus sniggered, touching his stomach.

"I liked all of it, it was incredible, let's do it again!" James said excitedly, bouncing up and down behind Remus, holding onto his shoulders.

"I don't know about you mate, but there's no way I'm standing in that queue again," Sirius said, and Lily laughed.

"Good point," James said, pouting.

"Don't worry James, we still have to go on the water rides!" Lily said excitedly, and James' eyes widened, as did those of the other two.

"Water rides?" Sirius asked, looking down at Lily, who grinned and nodded.

"Prepare to get soaked," Lily said, and the boys grinned.

"Er, Lil, it's nearing one o'clock now," Remus said, looking down at his watch, "Can we eat first?"

"I don't mind, up to you boys," Lily said, and Sirius pouted.

"I'm hungry," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes in amusement as the other two laughed.

"Come on, there's a food court area over there," she said, turning and leading the boys to the food, "What do you want?"

"I say we just get four burgers," James said, and the other two nodded.

"Fine by us," Remus said, gesturing to himself and Sirius, "You okay with that Lil?"

"Yep," Lily said, grinning, "How about you lot find us a table, and I'll go get the burgers."

"I'll come with you," Remus said, "Chips?" he asked James and Sirius, both of whom nodded and began to look around for a table of four.

"This has to be the best day ever," James said, as he sat down at a table with Sirius, seemingly oblivious to the approving glances the two boys were receiving from girls in the area.

"I agree, mate, I've never been so happy that you got with Evans," Sirius said, and James rolled his eyes as Sirius sniggered, "That was fast," Sirius said, and James turned around to see Lily and Remus making their way over to them, holding two trays, two meals on each.

"They had tons of burgers, all I had to do was pay," Lily said, placing a tray down in front of James and Sirius, "Those are yours," she said, and the boys grinned down at the food.

"Lily I love you," Sirius said, "More than Prongs does," he said, and James rolled his eyes, otherwise ignoring the statement, and taking a massive bite out of the burger.

"I appreciate it," Lily giggled, putting a chip in her mouth. She ripped open a little baggie of ketchup and squirted it onto the tray.

"Good idea," Remus said, going to dip a chip into it, and Lily smacked his hand away.

"I'm not done yet, I'm making special sauce," she said, ripping open a baggie of mayonnaise, squirting it right on top of the ketchup.

"What are you doing? You've ruined it!" James squawked through his mouthful of food.

"No I haven't, be patient," Lily said, using one of the crispy chips to mix the sauces together. When they were done, she put the chip in her mouth, smiling happily, "try it."

"Absolutely not, that looks vile," Sirius said, and Lily shot him a sour look.

"That's what you said about my eggs and ketchup sandwich," she said, and James chuckled.

"She has a point," he said, grabbing a chip and taking a bite with the special sauce, "What are the odds you'd be right twice in a row," he chuckled, taking another dip, and Lily giggled as the other two began to try the sauce as well.

When they'd finished eating, Lily led them in the direction of the water rides, the boys bouncing around excitedly.

"Good thing we're not going on that boat ride, I think my lunch would come flying up," Remus said, and the boys sniggered.

"At least then you'd stop being mean to poor Peter," Lily said, and the boys laughed, James putting his arm around Lily once more.

"How do you think he's going to react to Prongs and Lil?" Remus asked, and Sirius snorted.

"Wide eyes and very squeaky sentences," he said, and the other three laughed.

"Sounds about right," James chuckled, and Lily shot him a disapproving glance, "We love him really!" he said, and Remus nodded.

"We really do, he's just great to poke fun at," Remus said, and Lily shook her head, smiling.

"Merlin!" Sirius yelled, grabbing onto James' sleeve and jumping up and down, tugging at the shirt, "Merlin, Prongs, look!" he said excitedly, pointing at a cart a little ways away, in front of which little children were blowing bubbles.

"Oh my Merlin!" James said excitedly, letting go of Lily to tug at Sirius' sleeve as well, "Lily! Lily can we please get them?" he asked excitedly, and Lily laughed.

"Yes, we can," she said, and the three boys sprinted over to the cart, excitedly looking through the bottles, so they would pick the right one.

"These one's become necklaces mate, it's very efficient," Remus said, holding up a tube attached to a long string, and Sirius nodded.

"Moony has a point, they'd be a better choice."

"Four please," Lily said, walking past the boys and pointing to the necklace bubbles, and the man behind the cart nodded, passing her her change. As they walked away, Sirius handed Lily her bubbles, and she smiled her thanks.

"So how do you do this?" James asked, unscrewing the little tube and pulling out the stick, eyeing the hoop like bubble blowing device.

"You're right! They do look like Quidditch hoops," Sirius sniggered, holding it up in front of his face.

"Just hold the circle part in front of your mouth and blow," Lily said. She watched as Remus held it up in front of him and blew too hard, causing the liquid to simply fall off the stick, "No, gently," she giggled, as he turned in a circle, looking for bubbles.

James attempted to blow the bubbles gently, resulting in not enough air for bubbles to be formed, "Lily! It's not working," he whined, and Lily shook her head.

"Sirius managed," she said, gesturing to where Sirius was now jumping around, trying to pop all the bubbles he'd blown, earning giggles from a group of girls that passed by, obviously thinking he was simply being funny.

"It's simple, just blow it like you blow your soup," Sirius said, and the other two frowned, trying it out, only for it to work.

"This is incredible," James said, poking at the bubbles around him.

"Remus no!" Lily squeaked, but was too late, scrunching her face in distaste as Remus caught a bubble on his tongue. His face contorted and he began to spit at the floor, wiping at his tongue.

"That's revolting," Remus choked, spitting some more, "Absolutely awful."

"It's soap," Lily said weakly, shaking with restrained laughter.

"How come you're not blowing bubbles?" James asked, looking at Lily in an accusatory manner, causing her to giggle.

"I'm saving them for later," she said, and the boys snorted, "Come on, let's make our way over to the water rides," she said, laughing as the boys carefully screwed their tubes shut and let them dangle, keeping their eyes on the tubes as they walk in case they fell off, "Merlin! If you lose it you can have mine," she laughed, and the boys nodded happily, resuming to walking normally.

"So how wet do you actually get on these rides?" Remus asked, and Lily shrugged.

"Depends where you're sitting," she said, and the boys nodded. Thankfully there was no queue for the water ride, and they all got into the little boat of four. It floated along down a little path, bumping into a few corners here and there.

"This is boring," Sirius said, as the boat continued to slowly float along.

"Oh just wait," Lily laughed, shaking her head in amusement. Up ahead there was a dark tunnel, and she squirmed, "Oh bloody hell, forgot there was a dark part," she whined, and the boys laughed.

As the boat approached the dark tunnel, it started to speed up, "Oh so that's how it's going to be," Sirius laughed, and the boat entered the dark water slide tunnel, causing all of them to scream and laugh.

"Oh Merlin, oh Merlin, oh Merlin," James repeated under his breath as the boat finally stopped moving super fast, and the other three laughed. When they reached the end of the tunnel, a small door opened, which would lead them to the outside.

"Oh for the love of Merlin," Remus, the only one who could see out the door, laughed, and the other two boys frowned.

"What?" Sirius asked, turning around, and yelling out as the boat slid down a super steep slope, crashing into the water at the bottom, the water flying up and drenching all four of them.

"That's just rude," Lily grumbled, the mixture of the sliding around and the water having matted her hair to her face, and the boys burst out laughing as she reached up, attempting to flatten it out. They got off the ride completely soaked, and Lily grimaced as her top stuck to her body, "Maybe we should buy some dry clothes," she said, eyeing the souvenir shop next to them.

"Or dry t-shirts at least," Sirius grumbled, not noticing the way girls were eyeing the three boys, with their shirts plastered to their well toned bodies.

"Come on," Lily giggled, pulling her shirt away from her skin and walking into the shop. They walked out a few minutes later wearing theme park t-shirts, the bubbles still hanging around their necks, and their jeans a little dryer after having stood under the hand driers in their respective bathrooms ("bloody loud and scary things," Sirius grumbled), so they wouldn't have to buy new shorts.

"Now what?" James asked, smiling down at Lily, who shrugged.

"We can get ice cream and go home," she said, and Sirius grimaced.

"Yes, before I start chafing please," he said, pulling at his jeans.

* * *

"Honestly, you're going to get the floor covered in soap," Lily said to the boys, as they sat in the television room, Lily sitting on the floor putting the large cassette in to watch Cinderella. The boys were blowing bubbles at each other across the room in a makeshift war.

"Hello," Andrew said, walking into the television room having just come home from work, "What are you lot doing tonight?" he asked, looking from the boys, stood at opposite sides of the room hiding behind pillow forts, and Lily sat on the floor looking through Disney princess movies.

"We're watching Cinderella, and the boys are incredibly fascinated with bubbles," she said. They'd divided the soap from her tube evenly into their three to keep them entertained while she looked for the movie.

"Standard," Andrew nodded, and the boys grinned at him before resuming their war, "I understand your mother doesn't want to cook dinner," he said, and Lily laughed

"She's all for takeout," she said,a nd Andrew beamed.

"Excellent," he said, "I'll go make the call. Chinese okay with you?" he asked, looking at the boys, who nodded vigorously, "What should I get?" he asked Lily, who shrugged.

"The usual with a few more portions should be fine," she said, "They eat anything."

"You make me feel like an animal," Sirius said, and Lily rolled her eyes as all three of them pouted at her and Andrew chuckled.

"Alright then kids, see you in a few," he said, and Lily saluted him.

"Movie's starting," she announced, and the boys rushed to put the sofa cushions back in order, so they could all watch the movie.

"Poor girl," Sirius said, as Cinderella's dress got ripped up by her evil step sisters, "although, I have to say, the ripped up clothes? Very sexy," he said, and Lily shoved him as the other two boys laughed.

"If only they'd ripped a bit more off," James sighed, and Lily whacked him in the arm as Remus and Sirius sniggered.

"This is a children's movie!" she hissed, and he winked back at her.

"No need to get jealous love," he said, and Lily snorted in amusement.

"Wow, she really must've paid attention in transfiguration," Remus said, watching as the Fairy Godmother transfigured the pumpkin into a carriage, the mice into horses, and the dog into a human.

"I don't think that's possible," Sirius said, watching the dog/human walk around, "He'd have to be an Animagus."

"Mice into horses isn't easy either," James said, shaking his head, and Lily sighed.

"It is a muggle children's movie," she said, and the boys grinned cheekily at her.

"Foods here!" Andrew yelled, and Lily paused the movie as the boys sprinted out of the room, Sirius yelling 'Food!'.

* * *

"I hate goodbyes," Lily grumbled, as they left her house the next morning to go to James', "My parents always get so emotional."

"They miss you," James said, and Lily smiled.

"I know, I miss them too," she said, and the boys smiled, Sirius throwing his arm around her shoulder.

"Now is no time to worry about your parents. It's time to think of meeting the Potters!" he said, and Lily paled, "Don't worry, Daniel and Emily are incredible," he said, and James rolled his eyes, "best parents I could've asked for," he added,and James rolled his eyes as Lily and Remus laughed

"They're not your bloody parents," he said, and Sirius winked.

"Come on Jimmy, I'll side-along you," he said, and James grumbled as Lily giggled.

"Lil I'll side-along you, so you don't get lost," Remus said, and Lily smiled, grabbing Remus' hand.

"Prongs," Sirius stage-whispered, "I think Moony's trying to steal your girlfriend."

"Let him try," James stage-whispered back, and Remus rolled his eyes as they started sniggering.

"Let's go," Remus said, turning and taking Lily with him.

* * *

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Mrs. Potter said as she opened the door, smiling down at Lily, who gaped up at her.

"Mum how do you always know who's at the door?" James asked, bewildered, and she laughed.

"Magic," she said, and James flushed as Lily giggled.

"So nice to meet you Mrs. Potter," Lily said, shaking her hand, "I'm-"

"I'm well aware of who you are Lily," Mrs. Potter laughed, "I'm just so glad you all decided to come today as opposed to tomorrow," she said, "We leave on a mission today!"

"Well I'm glad I got the chance to meet you," Lily smiled, and Mrs. Potter grinned back.

"Likewise my dear, James has told us so much about you over the last few years," she said, winking at James, who groaned and looked up at the sky as Sirius and Remus sniggered, "I tried to tell him to be less of a prat, but he never listened," she said, and Lily laughed.

"That makes two of us," she said, and James shot her a sarcastic look as Mrs. Potter laughed.

"Come on in love, and please dear, call me Emily, none of this Mrs. Potter business," she said. Lily smiled at her; despite looking so professional and tall and intimidating, she seemed incredibly warm, "Daniel! Lily's here!" she called, and Lily flushed.

"I'm enjoying this meet the parent thing," Sirius said happily, and everyone turned to look at him, "It's so much fun watching James and Lily so embarrassed," he said, and James shoved him as Lily stuck her tongue out at him and Emily laughed.

"Well hello! Very nice to meet you," Daniel Potter said, striding into the room with a bag over his shoulder, which dropped onto the floor, and extending his hand to shake Lily's.

"Likewise Mr. Potter," she said, and Daniel beamed. He looked spectacularly like James, except much older, with dark brown hair that was starting to grey.

"Daniel's the name," he said, and looked up to see the three boys, "Oh you lot are back, are you?" he said, and Lily giggled as the three boys pouted.

"Dad!" James whined, and Daniel chuckled, pulling his son into a fatherly embrace.

"It's lovely of you to bring your girlfriend home James, especially after us having heard so much about her," Daniel said loudly, grinning at Lily, who giggled as James groaned, unable to hide his face as Daniel had pinned his hands to his sides.

"Were your parents this embarrassing?" Emily asked Lily, who grimaced.

"Worse," she said, and Emily laughed as James smirked at Lily.

"It's the highlight of your child growing up, embarrassing them," she said, and the four children grimaced as Daniel and Emily laughed.

"Why don't you come on in, we'll show you to your room," Daniel said, letting go of a grumbling James.

"I can do that," James muttered.

"Rubbish," Emily said, "Knowing you you'll show her to your room," she said, and James spluttered as Lily blushed as Remus and Sirius sniggered madly.

"You do know him well, Emily," Sirius said, and Emily shot him an amused warning look as he grinned cheekily at her.

"Nice to have you back," she said dryly, and Sirius sniggered as she shook her head fondly and began to show Lily up to her room in the massive Potter mansion.

"So you can have this room," Daniel said, gesturing to a large bedroom, across from which Lily saw the three boys enter, "It's far enough away from the boys that you can have some serenity," he said, and Lily laughed as she heard three snorts from James' room.

"I understand you're all leaving tonight?" Emily said, and Lily signed.

"Sadly," she said, "term starts again Monday," she said, and Emily nodded.

"Understandable, getting back on the weekend is wisest," she said, and Lily beamed up at her, "And it's not like we'll be here to get to know you anyway, you'd just be in this big house with those three," Emily said, gesturing to the boys room, and Lily giggled.

"You have a lovely home," she said, and Emily snorted.

"Museum's more like it," Emily said, nudging Daniel who shook his head in amusement, causing Lily to giggle, "I grew up in a humble family home. Marry this one and this is what happens," she said, gesturing to the mansion, and Daniel snorted.

"You love it and you know it," he said, and Emily grinned at him as Lily laughed.

"I live in a small house as well, this is a bit overwhelming," Lily said, and the parents laughed

"Don't worry, James wants to move into a comfortable cosy house when he's married," Daniel said with a wink, and Lily flushed.

"Okay lot's to do, step away from the girlfriend so you don't say anything embarrassing," James said, striding out of his bedroom and stopping behind his parents, arms crossed.

"Yes your majesty," Daniel said, bowing, and James reddened as Lily laughed.

"We should probably get going now anyway," Emily said, looking down at her watch and shooting James an apologetic look, "Sorry honey, I-"

"It's no problem," James said, smiling at his parents, "Just be careful," he warned, and the two smiled at him.

"I feel like this is the speech we should be giving him," Daniel said to Lily, who giggled, as Emily pulled James in for a hug.

"Take care of yourself," Emily said, placing her hands on James' cheeks, "Behave. I don't want letters telling me you've...I don't know, blown up a toilet, or something," she said, and James grinned.

"Blown up a toilet?" Sirius squawked, "Excellent idea, thank you Emily," he said, and Remus shoved him as Emily shot him a warning look, letting go of her son to hug Sirius and Remus as well.

"Don't blow up a toilet! Do something better, your humor isn't nearly as asinine," Daniel said, and James chuckled, hugging his father tightly, "I'll take care if you do," Daniel said, ruffling his son's hair, and James chuckled, nodding his head.

"It was lovely to meet you, Lily," Emily said, pulling her into a hug, "Take care of my boys," she said, letting go, and Lily nodded, giggling as the boys made noises of protest.

"I'm capable of looking after myself," James said, and Daniel rolled his eyes, ruffling his hair again after hugging Sirius and Remus.

"See you soon, Lily, don't be a stranger," Daniel said, hugging her, before placing his hand on Emily's back, "shall we?"

"Yes my bag is downstairs," Emily said, and Daniel beamed, "Bye you four! James, Anna's around if you need anything," she said, blowing him a kiss, and James nodded, looking worriedly after his parents as they walked away.

"They'll be fine mate," Sirius said, clapping James on the back as they heart the pop of apparation.

"Yeah, you're right," James sighed, rubbing his forehead, "Shall we get on with the list?" he asked, and Remus pulled it out of his pocket as Lily took James' hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"A surprise for Lily," Remus said, grinning, and Lily frowned.

"What surprise?" she asked, and James leaned over to read the list, before grinning.

"Right! Come on," James said, grabbing her hand and dragging her towards another corridor

"Where are we going?" Lily asked, attempting to memorize the mansion as she walked, knowing full well she'd get lost on her way back if she attempted to go back without the boys.

"You'll love it sweetheart," Sirius said. Just then they stopped at a pair of large double doors, and James grinned down at Lily.

"Go ahead," he said, gesturing to the doors, and Lily quirked a brow at him.

"How do I know millions of wild animals aren't going to come running out at me?" she asked warily, and James snorted.

"Just open the bloody door Lily," he said, and she reached forwards, turning down the handle of the door and pulling, "Push," James sighed, rubbing his temples with a grin on his face, and Lily stuck her tongue out at the three laughing boys and pushed the door.

"Oh my bloody Merlin," she gasped, and the boys sniggered. Lily ignored them, attempting to take in the sight in front of her; the Potter library. It resembled most closely the library in The Beauty and the Beast, which she'd fallen in love with every time she watched that movie as a child. The shelves seemed endless, full of books and books, so many she was sure the Potters probably had never had time to read all of them.

"I take it you like it," James said, smirking as he watched Lily turn around and around with a look of childish wonder on her face.

"I have never been so happy," she said, and the boys laughed, "stop laughing at me!" she giggled, throwing them all hateful glances, "It's incredible!"

"Don't worry Lil, Remus didn't leave for two days the first time he saw it," Sirius said, and Remus shrugged as James snickered.

"And proud," he said, and Lily grinned at him.

"You're my kind of person Lupin," she said, looking around in wonder, "Can I stay?" she asked James, who smirked at her, "Please? You guys can do what you want, I won't say anything, I don't want to leave yet!" she said, and James rolled his eyes as Sirius and Remus laughed.

"You're such a swot Evans," James said fondly. He looked at her large puppy-dog eyes and massive pout and signed, grinning, "Fine, we'll go play some Quidditch, you stay in here and read," he said, and Lily squealed, throwing her arms around him, "I'll come get you in two hours," he said, putting two fingers up in front of her face, and she nodded her head vigorously, "And you better leave because we do need to finish this list today," he said, and Lily nodded again

"I promise!" she squealed, hugging him again and kissing his cheek, "Bye!" she squealed, running forwards and grabbing the first book she saw, causing James to chuckle and turn around, ushering the boys out of the room.

"Can I stay as well? I don't want to play Quidditch," Remus whined, but James shoved him out, causing Sirius to snicker and Remus to pout.

* * *

"Did you have a good morning? I had a fantastic morning," Lily said happily after lunch, as they walked out of the Potter mansion, swinging her hand in James'.

"Lily we look like an obnoxious couple with our arms swinging like this," James said, attempting to sound embarrassed but only looking amused.

"Screw them," she said, looking at Remus and Sirius, who chuckled, "Did you have fun playing Quidditch?" she asked, and Remus snorted.

"I'd rather have been reading," he mumbled, and Sirius laughed.

"Really Moony? You hadn't mentioned it once," he said sarcastically, and Remus shoved him as James and Lily laughed.

"I'm sorry Remus, I would've helped but I was distracted falling in love," she said, and Remus sighed.

"I understand," he said sadly, and James rolled his eyes, ruffling Remus' hair with his free hand.

"Where are we going now anyway?" Sirius asked, and James grinned at him.

"It's your turn for a surprise," James said, and Sirius wagged his brows at James.

"Oh Prongs! Don't make such saucy comments with Evans around," he said, and James shoved his best mate as Lily and Remus laughed.

"Let's just go home," James said, and Sirius made a loud protesting noise.

"No! I was joking! I want my surprise!" Sirius whined, and Remus wagged his brows at Sirius, "Oh fuck off Moony," he said, shoving Remus, who sniggered, "Prongs!" Sirius whined, and James shrugged.

"You're the one who belittled your surprise," James said, winking at Lily, who grinned back, "Don't know if you deserve it."

"Prongs please! I love you!" Sirius squeaked, wrapping his arms around James' waist and holding onto him, causing James to roll his eyes and continue walking as Lily laughed.

"Sirius, don't let your infatuation blind you and make you think it's love! Also, it's a bit pathetic of you to beg for sex," Lily said, and Sirius snorted, letting go of James as James and Remus laughed.

"Prongs!" Sirius whined, and James laughed.

"We're still walking aren't we? You big buffoon," he said, and Sirius cheered, throwing his arm around James' shoulders.

"Moony come join in, you're the only one not connected," Sirius said, grabbing Remus' hand, which he pulled out of Sirius' grasp immediately as James and Lily laughed.

"I'm not holding your bloody hand," he said, "Or being connected, we look idiotic," he said, and Lily pouted at him as James and Sirius pretended to be insulted.

"But Remus!" she said, and he rolled his eyes, grinning, "You can hold my hand!"

"Then you'll look like a pimp," Remus said, and Lily winked, causing the boys to laugh.

"Okay, shall we?" James said, gesturing to a bush nearby

"If you two are going to fornicate I'd rather not be here," Remus said, and James shot him a sardonic look as Sirius snickered.

"We're going to apparate," he said, and Lily frowned.

"Why are we apparating from here?" she asked, and James sighed.

"It's an apparation point," he said, and Lily frowned.

"Your parents apparated from inside the house," she said

"Yes but they have licences because they're full-fledged Aurors," he said, and Lily nodded, "Besides, we landed here this morning," he said, nad Lily flushed as Sirius and Remus laughed.

"I thought we'd just landed in the wrong place," she said, and Remus huffed as she shot him an apologetic smile

"I side-along you and you insult me?" he said, and Lily grinned at him as the other two chuckled.

"Sorry Remus"'

"Anyway, this is the address," James said, holding the paper in front of him, "Someone side along me," he said bitterly, and the ohters laughed.

"You can come with me this time," Lily said, and James shook his head.

"That'll just destroy my masculinity completely," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as James reached for Sirius' hand.

"If you wanted to hold his hand all you had to do was tell me," she said, and James stuck his tongue out at her as Remus snickered.

"Shall we?" Remus said, and they all turned on the spot. After the uncomfortableness that is apparation, they arrived at what seemed to be a massive field. A man was standing close by and quirked a brow as he saw who they were.

"Name?" he asked, and James smiled.

"Hello, Potter," James said, and the mans eyes widened.

"Ah, er, sorry Mr. Potter, sir, come this way," he said, opening up a path through the trees. The four of them got onto the path and Lily quirked a brow at James.

"Mr. Potter sir?" she asked, and James huffed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as Sirius nad Remus sniggered.

"Is someone's richness intimidating people?" Sirius cooed, pinching James' cheek, and James slapped his hand away as the other two laughed.

"I'm doing you a favour here, stop teasing me," James said, and Lily laughed.

"So how do you know of this place, Mr. Potter sir?" she asked, and James shot her a sardonic look as the other two laughed.

"My parents give money to help this place from time to time," he said, and Lily grinned at his awkwardness.

"So what exactly is this place?" Sirius asked, and James grinned at him.

"Step through that bush and you'll see," James said, gesturing to the bush in front of them, and Sirius smirked at him.

"I've entered many a bush, I assure you," he said, nad James rolled his eyes as Lily scrunched her nose in disgust and Remus coughed awkwardly.

"You're disgusting," Lily said, and Sirius winked at her before taking a step through the bush.

"Shall we?" James said, and Remus shook his head, eyes closed.

"Give me a moment to erase the last minute of my memory," Remus said, and Lily laughed as James shook his head fondly and dragged Remus through the bush. Sirius was standing, frozen in awe, looking forwards at the massive Norwegian Ridgeback one hundred meters away.

"I love you," Sirius said, as James threw his arm around his best mates shoulder.

"Told you I'd show you one," James said, and Sirius beamed at him, before turning back, his eyes studying the large dragon.

"Now can you tell us what this place is?" Remus asked, and James grinned.

"It's a kind of sanctuary for dragons," he said, "we're in a massive cage," he said, pointing up, and they all looked up to see a large dome above them, "Dragons live here in peace where no wizards can come and attack them or attempt to train them with hot rods and clankers," James siad, and Sirius nodded.

"Like Gringotts," he said, and James nodded.

"They're trained humanely here," James said, and Lily smiled at him adoringly, "but just not to harm humans, it's a breeding ground so they don't go extinct," James said, and Remus nudged Lily, who was grinning to herself, causing her to stick her tongue out at him.

"That's very sweet," Sirius said, watching as two smaller dragons ran over to the massive one, "Oh how adorable!" Sirius said excitedly, and James rolled his eyes

"Are they going to eat us?" Remus asked, as the dragon looked towards them, and James chuckled.

"Didn't I just say they're trained not to harm humans?" he said, and Remus flushed as Lily giggled

"Use your ears Remus," she said, and he ruffled her hair, causing her to giggle again.

* * *

"You ready to go?" James asked, knocking on the bedroom Lily was in. She opened the door and smiled at him, freshly showered and wearing muggle jeans and a nice top.

"Yes, you sure you don't want to stay the night?" she asked, and James nodded, "Because we were supposed to weren't we?"

"I don't really like staying here when my parents are out," he said, and Lily smiled, taking his hand.

"They'll be okay, you know," she said, and he nodded, before she pulled him into a hug, "You worry too much."

"They're old," he said, and Lily shrugged.

"They're also experts," she said, and he smiled down at her, "shall we?"

"We shall," James said, and Lily closed the door behind her.

"I'm actually going to miss this place," Lily said, looking around, before noticing the bewildered expression on James' face, "Yes, I know I've only been here a few hours, but I really like it."

"Well thats...nice," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes as he grinned down at her. Sirius and Remus walked out of James' room and sighed.

"Goodbye home!" Sirius said, rubbing the wall, and James rolled his eyes as Remus and Lily laughed, "I'll be back soon!"

"Yes I'm sure the house is thrilled," James said, rubbing his forehead, "Let's go."

* * *

As they walked into Hogwarts, they noticed that the noise level was significantly higher than when they'd left.

"I guess people are back," Sirius said miserably, and James sighed.

"Back to school it is," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

"Honestly you two," she said, and the boys grinned at her as she led them up the stairs, "It's going to be nice having people back."

"It was nice when they weren't here," Sirius grumbled, and Lily clucked her tongue.

"Peter's back!" she said, and then sighed, "Suppose I'm being replaced then," she said, and the boys laughed.

"I didn't realise Prongs was into Wormtail," Sirius said, and James shoved the cackling madman as Lily and Remus laughed. When they entered the Common Room, it was mercifully empty.

"Everyone must be at dinner," Lily said, looking down at her watch, "I'm going to go dump my bag in my dormitory."

"Meet us in ours," Sirius said, and Lily saluted before heading up the girls stairs. When she walked into the boys dormitory a few minutes later, it was to see all four beds occupied, Peter sitting up in his own.

"Oh you're back," she said, smiling at Peter, who looked bewildered at the sight of her.

"Er, hi Lily," he said, frowning at James, who was smiling at Lily, "What- er- what are you doing here?" he asked, and Lily turned to look at the other three.

"You didn't tell him?" she asked, and Peter frowned.

"Tell me what?"

"I'll tell him," James said, getting up and walking over, kissing Lily full on the mouth, as Sirius and Remus sniggered.

Peter's jaw dropped.

"Aren't you going to kill him?" Peter squeaked, as James let go of Lily, and Sirius rolled his eyes

"How thick could you get Wormtail?" he asked, and Peter frowned at him.

"I don't understand," he said, and Remus smiled, taking pity on the poor boy.

"James and Lily are together," he said, and Peter's eyebrows shot up and a smile spread across his face.

"WHAT?" he squawked, slipping off the bed, causing the other four to laugh, "How?" he asked, "I mean, congratulations and stuff, but how'd you manage it?" he asked James, as Lily laughed and James shot him a sarcastic look.

"She couldn't resist the charm," he said, causing the other three Marauders and Lily to roll their eyes.

"It's a long story, Pete," Remus said, lying back on his bed and throwing his arm over his eyes.

* * *

"Well I'm going to go say hello to my friends," Lily said, an hour of telling Peter the story and a few games of Exploding Snap later, "See you all later."

"Bye Lily," the four boys said in unison, concentrating hard on the game in front of them, which was starting to get incredibly intense. Lily had watched the past few games, and already a few eyebrows had been lost.

"Bye boys," she giggled, kissing James on the cheek and getting up, walking down the stairs. The common room was incredibly crowded so luckily nobody noticed her come down from the boys dormitory. She spotted Dorcas and Marlene on the other side of the Common Room, by the window, and made a beeline for them. Upon seeing her, they squealed and jumped up, the three girls embracing in a three-way hug.

"Oh Lily! It's so good to see you! How was your holiday?" Dorcas asked, as they sat down.

"Forget that, we've heard rumours," Marlene said, and Lily raised her eyebrows at her, "From the people who were here over the holidays."

"Whatever about?" Lily asked, looking down at her nails in an attempt to contain her laughter, knowing just what those rumours were about.

"About you, and-" Marlene started, but Dorcas hit her in the arm.

"If it's not true you'll just irritate her," Dorcas said, and Lily grinned.

Just then, the four Marauders came down from their dormitory, having grown their eyebrows back, and looked around the Common Room. Sirius' eyes caught Lily's and he grinned, nudging James and pointing towards her. She frowned, and then looked at Remus, who held up the list and pointed to the bottom of it. She frowned, thinking back as to what was at the bottom and her jaw dropped. She saw the four of them smirk and groaned.

"Lily, you alright?" Marlene asked, and Lily looked towards them her eyes slightly wide and panicky, "What's wrong?"

"Er, nothing," Lily said, feeling the butterflies in her stomach appear as the boys started to slowly make their way towards her, "Um, excuse me," she said, jumping off her seat and heading towards them, shaking her head, "I don't know if I want to-" she started, but James grinned and cut her off by crashing his lips down on hers...in the middle of the Common Room...as was on the list.

When they broke apart the Common Room was dead silent, and Lily closed her eyes in embarrassment as James grinned, placing a quick kiss on her lips before standing up straight, looking around the Common Room.

Just then, someone started clapping ( _Sirius,_ Lily thought bitterly), and then, before they knew it, the entire Common Room was cheering and wolf-whistling. Lily turned around to look at Dorcas and Marlene to see Dorcas laughing and Marlene's jaw dropped open, her eyes wide and amused.

"I hate you," Lily said to James, who grinned down at her.

"One more?" he asked the Common Room, and they all cheered.

"James don't you da-" Lily squealed as he shut her up with his lips again, and gave in, giggling against his mouth as the wolf-whistling escalated, "You're so embarrassing," she laughed, as he stood up straight, and he beamed down at her, before jumping up onto the coffee table and taking a massive bow, to more cheers and whistles as Lily stood there and laughed.

"Alright, well, we completed the list, the Common Room went dead silent," Remus said, shoving the list in his pocket with a grin on his face, rolling his eyes as Sirius shot confetti at James with his wand.

"Should've stayed over Easter," Peter grumbled, and Remus and Lily laughed.

* * *

Their exams passed without stress, and all five of them made it through, passing all the required classes needed for their N.E.W.T prerequisites. Before they knew it, term was over.

They train was scheduled to leave Hogwarts the next morning, and when the morning came, Lily found herself in desperate need of the toilet.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she said, as the five of them made their way down the stairs.

"It's too crowded to go that way," Remus said, gesturing to where the closest girls bathroom was.

"I don't care which one I go to, I just need to before we get on the train," Lily said, and Peter shrugged.

"We could go this way," he said, nodding to his left, and James grinned.

"Excellent idea Pete," he said, "Come on Lil," he said, pulling on her hand so she'd follow after them. They pulled her into a secret corridor, which didn't surprise her as much as it had the beginning of term when she'd first started spending time with the lot, and after a ways turned her out of what looked like a portrait into a vaguely crowded corridor.

"Where are we?" she asked, looking around

"Second floor," Remus said, and Lily frowned, looking at the bathroom.

"Why haven't I been here before?" Lily said, and Remus grinned, looking at her. Just then, Lily's eyes narrowed, and the boys snickered, "you've brought me to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom," Lily said bitterly, and the boys smirked at her, "I can hold it in," she said, and James rolled his eyes.

"You said you needed to go before the train," he said, and Lily shrugged

"There's a bathroom at home, I can hold it," she said, and James snorted as the other three laughed, "Don't laugh! I've heard stories about this bathroom," she whined, and James nudged her back, pushing her towards the bathroom.

"Bloody go, we'll wait here," he said, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

"Fine, if I'm not out in ten minutes it's because I'm dead, and you'll be sorry," she said, and the boys sniggered.

Lily did her business and as she unlocked the bathroom door, she jumped as she saw the ghost in question sitting on one of the sinks, crying. Lily sighed and walked over to wash her hands in one of the other sinks.

"Aren't you going to ask me what's wrong?" Myrtle cried, her voice extremely whiny and high-pitched. Before Lily could answer she let out a wail, "Why would you? Nobody ever cares about disgusting, stupid, ugly moaning Myrtle," she cried, letting out a scream of despair and flew into the ceiling.

"Thank Merlin," Lily said under her breath, in case Myrtle could still hear her, and walked towards the exit. She walked past the sinks and froze, before running back and looking into one of the sinks in shock, a gasp escaping her mouth.

"JAMES!" she screamed, and the four boys ran into the bathroom, wands drawn, to see the girl looking into the sink.

"Everything okay, love? Lily, what's wrong?" James asked, sounding slightly panicked, and ran to stand next to Lily, "What? What is it?" he asked, before following her line of sight, and freezing as well.

"Prongs?" Sirius said worriedly, and the other three ran towards them, looking into the sink, "Merlin," Sirius said, a grin spreading across his face, "Guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other this summer," he winked, and a grin spread across all their faces.

Lily reached in and grabbed the book, her hands shaking slightly as she stroked the cover.

" **Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"**

* * *

**I promised I'd write this chapter, didn't I? Would just like to say, wrote this one on a computer with no spell check, so if there are errors I'm very sorry.**

**I hope you liked it, it's been ages since I've written a chapter without the actual Harry Potter chapter embedded in it.**

**Can't believe this story is actually over, it's been on my mind for ages. I'm actually going to miss it a little bit :/**

**About writing the next book- I'm strongly debating it. I'll post an additional chapter to this if I do so stating that the next one is up, so keep checking!**

**Hope you enjoyed this one as much as I did (and have fallen in love with the characters to the pathetic extent that I have!)!**

**Much love,**

**t.t xx**

 


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